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Good news: Divorce rates are dropping. The better news is why.

How many times have you heard someone say this?

"Pfft. I'm never getting married. It's all a big scam. Did you know 50% of marriages end in divorce?"

Photo via iStock.

Did you believe that stat? It's OK if you did.

Hell, when "Bennifer" announced their divorce in the summer of 2015, even I was pretty sure there was no hope for the rest of us. (They just seemed so rock solid, you know?)

Like most statistics proudly spouted off by cynical happiness-bashers, there is some truth to that 50% divorce statistic. Or at least there was.

The divorce rate is hard to measure precisely, but the data we do have suggests that the oft-cited "50%" stat is no longer true and hasn't been for a long time. In fact, the data actually suggests that the divorce rate has been dropping significantly.

There are many reasons for it, including the fact that fewer people are getting married overall these days. But some of the other reasons for the decline in divorce are pretty inspiring for all the hopeless romantics like me who still long for the fairy tale weddings of our dreams.

These are three main reasons why the divorce rate is dropping: 1) feminism, 2) acceptance, and 3) love.

Also known as three parts of a balanced Upworthy breakfast. (Obviously, the omelette is feminism, the spinach salad is acceptance, and the butter is love.) Photo via iStock.

Feminism: The feminist revolution in the wake of WWII changed things for women, and for marriages.

Data shows that women initiate the majority of divorces, which means a change in divorce-rate is usually reflective of a change in the roles and expectations of women in society.

After the end of World War II, the divorce rate in America hit its highest spike. That's because things were changing for American women in a pretty significant way.

Photo by Bob Aylott/Keystone/Getty Images.

Women had entered the work force to fill roles left behind by the men fighting the war, and they wanted to stay there. They organized and spoke out against a society that treated them as second-class citizens.

The feminist movement of the 1950s and '60s started to crystalize a movement toward equal rights for women. Topics like reproductive rights, domestic violence, equal pay, sexual harassment, and maternity leave all started to enter the national dialogue (and, as we know, all of them were solved immediately and we aren't still having these conversations today, right?).

Photo by William West/AFP/Getty Images.

The role of women permanently shifted in this country as they fought against the idea that their existence was predicated on finding a man to support them. So, they started leaving their unfulfilling marriages behind.

Today, instead of finding someone to marry who can support them and make their dads happy, women are more likely to marry when and if they want to and to spend more time dating or building their own careers before settling down, leading to an increase in marriages of choice, rather than necessity.

Acceptance: Slowly but surely, society came to accept that families come in all different shapes and sizes.

When a sitcom about a divorced, interracially remarried patriarch trying to remain in the life of his daughter and gay son, who himself is raising an adopted Vietnamese daughter with his husband, decided to call itself "Modern Family," it did so for a reason.

In 2016, the American family looks very different from how it looked in 1950.

Photo by Christopher Polk/Getty Images.

The signs of this evolution are everywhere: single parents, interracial couples, same-sex marriages, marriages without kids, and couples that stay together happily without ever getting married at all. These concepts aren't seen as completely bonkers as they used to be.

Where marriages were once about dowries and land deals, or more recently about settling down and baby-making, the modern American family is now more about compatibility and choosing the partnership that's right for you.

"Lets never get married or have kids and just spend our lives visiting various seaports!" Photo by Uriel Sinai/Getty Images.

"The fact that most people live together before marrying means that more ill-fated relationships end in breakups instead of divorce. And the growing acceptance of single-parent families has reduced the number of shotgun marriages, which were never the most stable of unions," Stephanie Coontz, a professor at Evergreen State College told The New York Times.

People today are more likely to get married when and if they want to, not because they think they have to. Turns out that leads to healthier, longer lasting marriages.

Love: All of this is to say that people really super love each other in 2016, in ways that previous generations didn't have the luxury of doing.

The biggest reason for the falling divorce rate is the fact that, today, marriages are more likely to be based on actual love and compatibility than ever before.

“We marry to find our soul mate, rather than a good homemaker or a good earner,” economist Justin Wolfers told the Times.

Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images.

If that sounds eyerollingly obvious to you, consider the fact that marrying for love is a pretty darn recent notion.

"For most of history it was inconceivable that people would choose their mates on the basis of something as fragile and irrational as love," writes author Stephanie Coontz in the first chapter of her book, "Marriage, A History."

Today, marrying for love is considered normal. The only other common reasons are for green cards and to finally have someone to start watching "The Wire" with (which is its own kind of love).

Next time someone tells you that half of marriages end in divorce, tell them they're wrong. And they're being a jerk.

Sure, not all marriages end happily ever after, but our society has opened the door for all kinds of stronger, healthier, happier families, and the falling divorce rate is proof of that.

Photo by Christopher Furlong/Getty Images.

Whether you want to get married or not, you're part of a more equal, accepting, and loving society. That's pretty awesome.

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Pop Culture

All In: 5 Ways This Week

From the silly to the sentimental, there are so many ways people like to go “all in” on something. Here are our five favorite examples we found this week across the internet.

5 ways people are going "All In" this week
5 ways people are going "All In" this week
5 ways people are going "All In" this week
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When you hear the words “all in,” what do you think? You might picture a Dancing with the Stars trend gone viral or maybe bridesmaids who fully supportive of the bride's favorite movie (and recreates an iconic scene). Whatever you picture, the idea is the same: Someone who does something with 100 percent total commitment. Going “all in” means giving your all—going completely over the top, no second guessing, no holding back. Just full-throttle enthusiasm, with some flair and creativity thrown in. And when people go “all in,” something truly special usually happens as a result.


The internet abounds with examples of people giving it their all—whatever it is. In this roundup, we’ve found the very best examples of people going “all in”—moments where passion, creativity, and commitment take center stage. Some are sentimental, some are silly, but all of them are a reminder that giving 100 percent is truly the only way to leave a mark on this world. Get ready: These folks didn’t just show up, they went all in.

1. An Iconic "snow-coaster"

One thing about going all in - it can be crazy and childish at times. That’s something that makes going all in special, connecting with that side of you that takes things less seriously in order to have some fun. Shira Goldstone and her husband took to that mindset when it started snowing in their backyard. Shira’s husband picked up planks of wood (and whatever other tools are required) and within the same night, in the falling snow, built a “snow-coaster” for the two of them to play on.

2. A Truck That's Feeding It's Community

You already know our friends at All In—they’ve got some seriously tasty snacks that are not only healthy and affordable (scroll to the bottom of this article to see how you can snag a free bar), they help fund food banks, gardens, community fridges, meal programs, and other amazing things

For Giving Tuesday, All In teamed up with Fresh Truck, a weekly mobile market that brings fresh and affordable produce to neighborhoods in the Boston area. Fresh truck hosts weekly markets, pop-up events, and an online storefront, all to help strengthen communities who need it the most. They’re going all in on local nutrition and food access, and we’re here for it.


3. All In on Madam Morrible

I’m always all in on a good TikTok trend. This week, I’m going to share with you a classic that has come out of the Wicked franchise and the incredible actress Michelle Yeoh.

Michelle, who plays Madame Morrible in the Wicked movies, is an outstanding actress. She’s known for iconic films like Everything, Everywhere, All At Once, as well as Crazy Rich Asians and Star Trek. But her legacy might be this one quote, which she’s said in interviews countless times, and now people can’t stop making videos with the phrase “Madame Morrible, M.M…flip it around, W.W. Wicked Witch!”

You might have to take a look at how people are going all in yourself, the sound has taken off with already 14.3K videos, and the variations are unstoppable...defying all odds and maybe even...defying gravity?

4. Spotify Wrapped: All in on "Coconut Mall"

TikTok · Ale

www.tiktok.com

There’s nothing better than finding a song that hits just right and gets you feeling productive. For some people, it’s lofi beats. For others, it’s orchestra music. For TikTok user @aleinmotion, it was the “coconut mall” song from the Mario Kart racing soundtrack. Ale never realized how much she listened to the song until it became #1 on her Spotify Wrapped. Sometimes you’ll be surprised by what you love most, and I’m thinking this is one of those moments for Ale.

5. A Family Prank Everyone Enjoys

This girl said her boyfriend had an ugly hat, so her family decided to go all in on supporting him instead. This is when love and humor come together, a perfect prank that actually made the boyfriends day…and taught his girlfriend that nothing is really that serious! They even got the daughter her very own hat as well, and she looked happy to wear it!

As someone who grew up with a dad who always wore floppy hats to protect him from the sun, I understand the embarrassment. Maybe it’s time I go all in and show my support with a matching hat and white long sleeve sun shirt!

Snag your free (!!) snack bar here while this deal lasts. Simply sign up with your phone number, pick up your favorite flavor of an All In bar at Sprouts, and then text a picture of your receipt through Aisle. They’ll Venmo or PayPal you back for the cost of one bar. Enjoy!

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Art

Art prodigy sold $7 million worth of paintings before she was even 14-years-old

You can see her talent in her very first painting.

Autumn de Forest, art, kids, artists, painting, Pope
Autumn de Forest

Autumn de Forest stands before a sign with her name on it

When Autumn de Forest was five years old, she picked up a paintbrush for the first time. It wasn't long before she was ready to show the world what she could do.

After a year of practice, the then-six-year-old asked her father if he could get her a booth at a local art-in-the-park program. "People would come up to the booth, and they would talk to my father, and they'd say, 'This is great!'" she said. "Apparently they thought it was Take Your Daughter to Work Day."

Almost everyone thought the artwork was her father's. When they found out that tiny Autumn was the artist, people couldn't believe their eyes.

art, kids, art genius, kid genius Autumn created this piece when she was just 5 years old.Autumn de Forest

Soon, Autumn rose to national fame

When Autumn was eight, she was featured on the Discovery Health Channel. There was a slew of media attention in the years that followed. There was Disney. There was The Today Show. There was Wendy Williams. She was called a child genius, a prodigy, and an expert painter.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Suddenly, Autumn de Forest was everywhere.

But not everyone was so accepting of the young artist and her work. Some people in the art world had...questions. Sure, she was good for a kid. But was her art actually good? Others wondered if the whole thing might be an elaborate hoax.

Autumn ignored her critics and kept painting.

By age 14, she developed a startlingly organized daily routine that went far beyond a 9 to 5

Somehow, as the focus on her age began to wear off, Autumn's work ethic and art only grow stronger. She said that most days, she'd wake up in her parents' Las Vegas home at 7:30 a.m. After breakfast, she'd break out her supplies for a one- or two-hour painting session. From there, she dove into her school work. Most brick-and-mortar schools can't accommodate her travel schedule, so she did the majority of her schooling online.

Before dinner, it was back into the studio.

"That session can last much longer, that can be three or four hours when I really get into it," she said. "Then I probably have dinner and go to bed."

kids, painting, artistic genius, paintings, kid artists Autumn de Forest paints Autumn de Forest

The results speak for themselves

Her work has been displayed in galleries and exhibitions all over the world.

kids, painting, artistic genius, paintings, kid artists An Autumn de Forest paintingAutumn de Forest

Autumn held a public demonstration before a showing at The Butler Institute of American Art.

assets.rebelmouse.io

In 2015, Autumn received the International Giuseppe Sciacca Award in Painting and Art.

The award took her to the Vatican for a private showing of her artwork with Pope Francis.

Autumn de Forest, the Pope, Pope Francis, painting, art Autumn de Forest stands with the Pope who looks at one of her paintings Autumn de Forest

At 16, she also worked with the President's Committee on the Arts and the Humanities, headed up by former First Lady Michelle Obama.

As part of the program, de Forest traveled to underprivileged schools around the country and led painting workshops. Oh, and if you're looking for some hard numbers to attach to Autumn's talent, she's got those, too.

Her paintings raked in over $7 million at auctions by the time she was a teenager—fetching as much as $25,000 each—much of which has gone directly to charities and disaster relief funds.

Now 24, Autumn continues to be represented by Park West Gallery, the world's largest art dealer, and is keeping busy with her craft and philanthropy.

- YouTube youtu.be

The transition from child prodigy to respected artist has certainly kept her busy. In 2017, the Monthaven Arts and Cultural Center in Hendersonville, Tennessee hosted a major solo exhibition for de Forest titled "Her White Room: The Art of Autumn de Forest."

That same year, de Forest was listed as one of Teen Vogue's "21 Under 21." In her profile she was praised for her talent as well as her commitment to art education.

"In dis­advantaged schools, they consider the arts an extracur­ricular activity," she told Teen Vogue. "It's devastating, as there could be child prodigies in these schools, but they don't know that they have this God-­given gift because they're not given the opportunity because there's nearly no art programs in schools."

In 2018, de Forest was featured in the music video for the song "Youth" by best-selling recording artists Shawn Mendes and Khalid. The video highlights exceptional young people working to change the world, including de Forest, Emma González, and Elias and Zion Phoenix.

The video has over 88 million views on YouTube.

And of course, de Forest continues to share her absolutely incredible artwork on Instagram and in shows and exhibitions around the globe.

The Autumn de Forest Foundation helps her keep track of the kids she's met throughout the years and to continue to help them with their art careers

A portion of the foundation's money goes to a 529 account set up for the students while 10% goes to them directly.

"A lot of these kids that I work with, they're not very old, they're in second grade, third grade, fourth grade. Maybe in 10 years, they may only have four or five thousand dollars but that could be the difference between them going to college or not," Autumn told Teen Vogue.

Autumn's incredible rise in the art world is an astonishing feat for someone so young, but that accomplishment is easily matched by her generosity and commitment to helping develop tomorrow's prodigies as well.

De Forest's latest solo exhibition debuted in late August of this year, and ran through mi September at the Park West Soho Gallery. She now resides in Los Angeles according to her profile on the networking site, dot.cards.

For more information, visit her website.

This article originally appeared nine years ago. It has been updated.

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Culture

When the mail carrier can't read your handwriting the USPS calls in these experts to save the day

"Master keyers" can decipher a new address roughly every four seconds

postal workers, mailman, mail carrier, usps, mail, handwriting, package delivery, delivery driver
Photo credit: Canva & *Hajee/Flickr

The remote mail processing facility that deciphers our sloppy chicken-scratch addresses.

ALT HL: When mail addresses are too hard to read, they get sent to this strange and fascinating facility

ALT HL: The crack team of 800 specialists that works around the clock to decipher sloppy handwriting on US mail

Our handwriting is getting worse. More and more of our writing and communications are being done digitally, and young people, in particular, are getting a lot less practice when it comes to their calligraphy. Most schools have stopped teaching cursive, for example, while spending far more time on typing skills.

And yet, we still occasionally have to hand-address our physical mail, whether it's a holiday card, a postcard, or a package.

We don't always make it easy on the postal service when they're trying to decipher where our mail should go. Luckily, they have a pretty fascinating way of dealing with the problem.

The U.S. Postal Service sees an unimaginable amount of illegible addresses on mail every single day. To be fair, not all of it comes down to sloppy handwriting. Labels and packaging can get wet, smudged, ripped, torn, or otherwise damaged, and that makes it extremely difficult for mail carriers to decipher the delivery address.

You'd probably imagine that if the post office couldn't read the delivery address, they'd just return the package to the sender. If so, you'd be wrong. Instead, they send the mail (well, at least a photo of it) to a mysterious and remote facility in Salt Lake City, Utah called the U.S Postal Service Remote Encoding Center.

According to Atlas Obscura, the facility is open 24 hours per day. Expert workers take shifts deciphering, or encoding, scanned images of illegible addresses. The best of them work through hundreds per hour, usually taking less than 10 seconds per item. The facility works through over five million pieces of mail every day.

Every. Single. Day.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

The process of encoding the mail is very cool. The electronic system the encoders—called "keyers"—use is connected to real conveyer belts full of mail all over the country.

The local mail distributors are counting on the REC to properly process the illegible mail items before they get dumped off the conveyer belt and into a bin that must be sorted by hand.

Time is of the essence! That's why the best keyers process an address about every four seconds. Like a library, there's no talking or extra noise allowed in the work room. It's important that the keyers have the utmost focus at all times.

Not all of the items that come through the REC are the result of bad or damaged handwriting, by the way. Sometimes, the handwriting is highly stylized. That's why posters displaying cursive letters are hung in every cubicle, next to coding sheets that list state abbreviations, cities, etc.

At one point, there were 55 similar sites all across the United States. But improvements in software that can automatically read addresses and the lower volume of handwritten mail and letters going out means the Salt Lake City facility is the last one standing.

The REC currently employs about 800 people, but the facility is processing less and less mail every year.

Even still, the human keyers are the last line of defense when AI, machine-learning, and fancy algorithms fail. The technology will continue to improve, but human intuition and judgment simply can't be replaced in the toughest cases.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

What happens if the keyers at the USPSREC can't decipher an address? All is not lost.

A local postal worker would retrieve the mail from the "reject bin" and do his or her best to figure it out upon closer, physical inspection. If that fails, the mail would likely be returned to its original sender.

However, some postal workers have been known to go above and beyond to deliver mail. One famous viral story out of Iceland shows a sender that hand-doodled a map on the outside of a letter in lieu of an address—and it worked.

In recent years, there's been a lot of supposed "concern" about the U.S. Postal Service not being profitable and losing money each year. It is self-funded and receives no funds from American tax dollars.

Amid talks of the USPS's "broken business model," it's easy to forget that mail and package delivery is an essential public service. It keys our economy, our communities, and our democracy.

The postal service is in danger of being shut down or privatized, but that would be a major disservice to the postal workers and Encoding Center keyers who work tirelessly to make sure mail gets delivered on time to the right place.

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Pets

Man's inability to control himself over his new kitten's cuteness is beyond relatable

If you've ever had a pet kitten, you get it.

kitten, cute kitty, cute aggression, cuteness, baby cat
Photo credit: Canva

There's nothing like a kitten to bring out the cuteness aggression.

It's hard to explain the all-consuming adorableness of a kitten to someone who's never had one. Yes, we all see how cute they are in photos and videos, but falling in love, in real life, with a kitten of your own is a whole other level of swoon. Every single thing they do is cute. Every yawn. Every stretch. Every pounce. Don't even get me started on sneezes.

How many times have we seen the classic "didn't want a cat" story of a "not a cat person" falling hard and fast for a kitten? It happens. And a viral video of a man who is unable to contain himself over his new kitten's cuteness perfectly encapsulates what that looks like.

kitten, orange tabby, cute kitty, cute aggression, cuteness Kittens are the cutest. Photo credit: Canva

"Well, I'm just going to explode, aren't I?" the man says to the woman behind the camera before going on and on about how he'd step in front of a bullet for the kitten.

"Look at that cute little boy," he says as the small orange tabby lies curled up in a blanket. "Yeah, that's mine forever now. That's mine forever. And he comes before you, now. He's mine."

@waif8chimney

So I guess I’d die for this kitty🤝

The pacing around with energy to burn. The "cute patootie bobooty." The "I'm literally going to explode" moving right into the "I'm going to eat him," and "I would die for you." The fact that they just met and he's already up to his eyeballs in gushy, smushy love. It's all so relatable to those of us who've gone off the deep end after adding a tiny furry feline to our family.

People in the comments shared the sentiment.

"I got a kitten a week ago and it literally pains me to leave her everyday. She’s all i think about 😭"

"The overstimulated pacing is so real.😂😂"

"Every second of this was the correct response."

"I just got two and the overload of emotions is beyond words."

"12 years later and I still talk about my cat like this 😂"

"The amount of times I tell her 'I'd shmurder for you!!'"

"The cuteness aggression is completely appropriate! 'Cutie-patootie-bobootie, I'm gonna eat em.'"

kitten, orange tabby, cute kitty, cute aggression, cuteness Grrrr, wook at his widdle paws and his widdle whiskers. Photo credit: Canva

Cute aggression is a real thing

Lots of people mentioned "cuteness aggression" in the comments, and that's exactly what we're witnessing in the video. When you feel so overwhelmed by the cuteness of something that you want to squish it, squeeze it, bite it, or even eat it? That's cute aggression, a term coined by social psychologist Oriana Aragon in 2014.

"Cute aggression seems to be a mechanism to manage the overload of positive feelings we can get when we interact with something too cute for us to handle," says Associate Professor Lisa A. Williams, a social psychologist from the University of New South Wales. "In other words, to counter an overwhelming barrage of positive feelings, we seek to tamp it down – and weirdly enough, that can play out as an aggressive inclination."

@sadiebreann_

unreal #cutenessaggression #motherhood #newborn #newbaby #motherhoodunplugged #motherhoodunfiltered #sahm #momlife #sahmsoftiktok #baby

It's not actually aggression in the strictest sense, as the impulse comes along with a strong feeling of wanting to protect the cute little animal, child, or whatever is causing the explosion of feeling. Like, you might feel a strong urge to bite your baby, but you would never actually bite your baby. You might want to squish your kitten or hug your puppy as tight as you can, but you wouldn't because you know it would harm them.

It's a weird contrast of feelings, but it's common. And it's hard to explain to people who don't experience it. Interestingly, Aragon says that those who do experience cute aggression also tend to experience other dimorphous expressions of positive emotion, which includes crying when happy. "People who, you know, want to pinch the baby's cheeks and growl at the baby are also people who are more likely to cry at the wedding or cry when the baby's born or have nervous laughter," she told NPR.

Whatever we call it, the urge to bite the baby or squish the kitten is real for many of us who feel totally seen in these videos.

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Love Stories

Penn Badgley compares romantic relationships to gardening, and the metaphor is spot on

He beautifully illustrates the difference between falling in love and being in love.

penn badgley, joe from you, botanical garden, gardening, flowers
Photo credit: Canva

Penn Badgley's botanical garden analogy is resonating with people.

Poets and philosophers have been using metaphors and analogies to try to define love for millennia, so it seems like we would have heard them all by now. But Penn Badgley, whose role as serial killer Joe in the TV series You couldn't be further from his real-life persona, has shared a metaphor for relationships that is hitting home.

Badgley has been married to his wife, Domino, since 2017, and he shared on the Mighty Pursuit Podcast some thoughts on the difference between falling in love and being in a real, long-term relationship. He explained that the initial experience of falling in love is "a total dream state that does not last."

"It's like the 'falling in love' energy," he says, "and if you go real hard and fast, then you'll burn through it quickly, and if you go slow it might last two years." But the physiological addiction of love, the infatuation period, always comes to an end. "And then, what are you left with?" he asks.

He talks about allowing your partner to be a whole person, with qualities that might be unattractive or uninteresting or imperfect. "Love on those terms is completely different," he says.

"You know, you go to the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens. It's gorgeous. Being in love—falling in love—is like walking through the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens. Maybe you've gotten a free ticket. You walk in, you're like, 'Wow, this is beautiful.'"

garden, flowers, brooklyn botanical gardens, gardening metaphor, beautiful garden Bluebells at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens. Rhododendrites/Wikimedia Commons

"I think being in a relationship is more like being a gardener at the Botanical Gardens," Badgley says. "It's like, you know how this all works. And you got to do some work, but that should be joyful, because you're making it beautiful. You go from being a passive person visiting a garden exhibit to becoming a master gardener. You really have to understand things about the soil, just the diversity of the plants that affect one another."

"The ecosystem of one person's interior and another is like that," he continues. "It's like the interaction of ecosystems. They have to find balance. And when they do, there's this really lovely, new kind of perfection."

The analogy is a powerful one that might help people who may be familiar with the falling in love experience but not so skilled in the being in a relationship part. Falling in love is passive enjoyment. Being in a relationship is learning how to create beauty and maintain it, building skills and understanding as you go.

"So many people these days want the botanical garden without putting in the gardening work. I love this analogy🪴🪏💚."

"Wow the way he explained this is so mesmerizing and relatable."

"His example of garden/nature is perfect; relationship/your partner is sacred. It shouldn't be treated as anything less."

"This is a very good analogy, most just want to visit daily vs becoming a gardner."

"The garden comparison was brilliant, very bright man who knows the hardships and struggles of a relationship but learning how to navigate through it to make it something meaningful and beautiful!!!"

"Hearing a man talk about relationships in this way gives me hope."

For relationships to work, having a comprehensive view of what love means and how you and your partner's "ecosystems" work together is super helpful. Love may not be simple or easy, but when you're dedicated to learning the skills to nurture it, you can go beyond just enjoying the pretty scenery and work to co-create something even more beautiful.

Watch the full Penn Badgley interview on Mighty Pursuit here:

- YouTube www.youtube.com

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Humor

Comedian's hilarious video has Millennials sharing their own unique 'doorbell phobia' stories

"I definitely hide immediately and try not to make any noise"

doorbell, millennials, comedian, strangers, generational differences
Photo credit: Canva, Africa images (left, cropped) / Khosro (right, cropped)

Millennials bond over their doorbell anxiety.

If you’re a Millennial who reacts to a knock on the door like it's a "jump scare" from a horror flick, you’re not alone. Comedian Jake Lambert nailed that particular form of anxiety in a new Instagram video titled "how different generations react to the doorbell," in which he acts out stereotypical responses from Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z.

The Boomer reaction is simply asking, reasonably, "Who’s that?" and walking over to the door. For Gen X, it’s wondering, "Who’s that?" and checking the security camera. The Gen Z move is apparently ignoring the sound entirely. But only Millennials, according to Lambert, react to a doorbell with genuine fear—in this case, appearing totally stunned and sliding off the couch into a puddle on the floor. The clip is hilarious, but it also appears to have touched a nerve. A large chunk of the top comments come from that demographic, with people pointing out the video’s accuracy.

Millennials say doorbell phobia is real

Here are some highlights from the flood of responses:

"Look, Millennials were locked up in the house alone when our parents were at work, we were told under NO circumstance were we to open the door for stranger’s. 🚪#strangerdanger⚠️"

"100% accurate on millennial 😂❤️"

"Millennial here. I definitely hide immediately and try not to make any noise"

"Millennials are not home ever unless you text first and give them hours notice. Facts."

"Yep, as a millennial, I can confirm that if I'm not expecting anything or anyone, there's no way I'm answering the door. The same applies to phone calls. Leave me alone. I don't exist. You don't need my time, and I yours."

"Millennial here. I've even removed my doorbell 😂"

"Millennial running quickly to the bathroom to hide hoping I wasn’t seen. I thought it was just me 😭"

"Millennials were latch key kids who were left home alone and told to never answer the door under any circumstances. We weren’t even supposed to let anyone see we were home alone, hence staying away from windows, closing the blinds, staying silent, etc. That was a large part of our childhood."

"And we stuck to it! 😂"

"Millennials are so anxiously traumatized 😂 I love us!"

"I'm a millennial and I feel so seen, but also attacked.😂"

"That millennial was quite accurate if I could disappear completely I would😂💯"

Safe spaces for this specific Millennial anxiety

This isn’t the only online safe space where Millennials have expressed their knock/ring stress. Ethan Lapierre (@Withethanlap) spoke "for all Millennials" in a funny and fascinating video, saying, "If someone rings the doorbell, we’re basically treating it like it’s a home invasion."

What’s interesting, Lapierre says, is a perceived shift in how this generation has interacted with that particular sound: "It’s so crazy because, growing up, someone ringing the doorbell was exciting. It meant one of your friends was coming over to see if you could go play or someone was selling, like, wrapping paper or Girl Scout cookies, you know?...Now [when] someone rings the doorbell, it’s like panic and anger. It’s like, 'Who even knows where I live? Who has the audacity to ring my doorbell right now?’ You start asking yourself, 'Do I even have the capacity to have a face-to-face conversation with another human?'"

But this response, Lapierre says, is "insane" because of how many Millennials were raised: "[A]ll of us are very well-versed in small talk, in pleasantries. That’s how we grew up. But somewhere along the line, we started needing a head’s up before you came to our house. Like 'Text me, call me, send a carrier pigeon—I don’t care. Just let me know before you come over.’ Because, for some reason, that ringing of the doorbell or that knock at the door is triggering a fight-or-flight response. It’s so wild because we grew up answering landlines without hesitation, but now we treat the doorbell ring like it’s a jump scare."

"I have no desire to open the door when I don't know who it is"

This same topic even launched a thread on the /Millennials subreddit' user rethinkingfutures wrote that they don’t answer the door unless they know someone is coming over. "Do other millennials not answer the door if they don’t know who it is? Even with a peep hole?" they asked. "I have no desire to open the door when I don’t know who it is or if I’m not expecting anyone. It’s not even that I’m a single woman who lives alone; I just hate answering the door for people whose arrival I’m not anticipating."

Lambert even touched on a similar topic in a video about how different generations show up to people’s houses. "Millennials will have hoped that the plans would've been canceled," he says in the clip. "There’s no reason that a millennial will ever actually want to come to your house…They will arrive late, but they will text you to let you know they're on their way, just as they're about to get into the shower. And a millennial will never knock on your door. You'll just get a text either saying 'here' or 'outside,' and that's your cue to go and let them in."

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