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Elderly military veteran comes out as gay in his obituary revealing a 25 year relationship

“Now that my secret is known, I'll forever Rest in Peace."

coming out; elderly LGBTQ; pride month; coming out story; obituary coming out

Elderly military veteran comes out as gay in his obituary

While in many ways being part of the LGBTQ community is more acceptable than it used to be, members of the community are still marginalized and are sometimes treated poorly. Many people still experience negative consequences for coming out as anything other than a heterosexual cisgendered person. Due to these factors, it's not surprising that some people choose to hide their identity until they feel safe to reveal it.

Recently an elderly Army veteran's obituary highlighted the difficulty of living with the fear of not being accepted. Col. Edward Thomas Ryan recently passed away in Albany, New York after having lived with a secret his entire life. The obituary for Col. Ryan starts off like any other obituary, reviewing who he is leaving behind, who passed before him and his life's accomplishments.

The veteran was twice retired, once from the Army as a Colonel and again as a firefighter. He had many accomplishments that would make just about any family proud to be related to him, but Ryan requested his family tuck in a note from him to share with the world.


He was gay. Not only was he gay but he was in a relationship for 25 years. All of this was kept a secret as he did not want to be outcast by the people he loved the most so he held who he truly was close to his heart until after his death. Col. Ryan's family printed his confession in his obituary which appears to be his last wish.

The personal note reads, "I must tell you one more thing. I was Gay all my life: thru grade school, thru High School, thru College, thru Life. I was in a loving and caring relationship with Paul Cavagnaro of North Greenbush. He was the love of my life. We had 25 great years together. Paul died in 1994 from a medical Procedure gone wrong. I'll be buried next to Paul. I'm sorry for not having the courage to come out as Gay. I was afraid of being ostracized: by Family, Friends, and Co-Workers. Seeing how people like me were treated, I just could not do it. Now that my secret is known, I'll forever Rest in Peace."

Though Col. Ryan was able witness the public perception shifting about LGBTQ people, he likely still lived with the scars of past treatment of queer people.

Photo credit: Canva


In 1973, homosexuality was pathologized by the American Psychiatric Association (APA) as a mental illness or sickness. It wasn't until 1997 that the adopted a resolution discouraging coercive measures a resolution discouraging coercive measures to change someone's sexual orientation. Progress has been slow going. The APA just recognized that being transgender wasn't a mental health disorder in 2013, and America didn't recognize same sex marriage until 2015.

Col. Ryan's fears were not unfounded. Jim Kisthardt, only came out just a few years ago at the age of 73 after his wife of 51 years died. He tells ABC7, "Times were very different. Being gay would be a curse. Being gay was one of the worst things you could bring to your family, worse than divorce."

Kisthardt explains to the station that coming out when his parents were alive wasn't an option because he thought it would've killed them, revealing that in the 50s and 60s gay people were ostracized and had to move away. While progress for LGBTQ rights may be moving slowly, they're still moving and though Col. Ryan didn't get to live fully as himself, at least he is now resting in peace. It's fitting that he was able to have his final wish granted during pride month.

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Been stressed this week? Who hasn’t. That’s why we’re bringing you the latest in good news—five animal-themed stories we guarantee will put a smile on your face.

This week, we’re celebrating:

The most entertaining animal photos you've ever seen

Jason Moore/Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards 2023 and © Tzahi Finkelstein /Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards 2023

Need a laugh? How about a dozen laughs? Look no further than the 2023 Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards, a competition started in 2015 that focuses on the lighter side of wildlife photography. More than 1,800 photographers from around the world submitted photos, and the finalists—from a kangaroo playing air guitar to an arguing set of greenfinches—will absolutely make your day.

Healthier, happier, rescued pets

Hundreds of thousands of pets are relinquished to shelters each year, and many vulnerable pet populations—such as disabled and elderly dogs—can be hard to place in loving homes. Fortunately, Subaru has sponsored the rescue, rehabilitation, and adoption of more than 134,000 of these pets through the Subaru Share the Love® Event. As the largest corporate donor to the ASPCA® (The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals®), Subaru and its retailers are donating a minimum of $300 to charities like the ASPCA for every new Subaru purchase or lease during the 2024 Subaru Share the Love Event, happening now through January 2, 2025.

This animal-centric (and adorable) creative writing assignment 

Amy McKinney, a third-grade teacher in Pennsylvania, recently had a genius idea for teaching her class persuasive writing: Rather than have them formulate an argument for an imagined audience (boring!), McKinney partnered with a local animal shelter and had her class write persuasive descriptions of each animal to help them get adopted. Each student chose a pet to write about and sent their essays to the shelter to display and post to the shelter’s social media channels. Student engagement was “tremendous,” said McKinney, and there’s no doubt these persuasive paragraphs made a huge difference in these shelter pet’s lives. Adorable.

The dog who saved his owner with CPR (yes, really)

Dogs have made the news for saving humans before, but have you ever heard of a dog performing CPR? That’s exactly what Bear, a Siberian Husky-Golden Retriever mix, did in 2022 when he found his owner unconscious on the floor after suffering a major heart attack. Not only was Bear able to quickly call for help, he even jumped on his owner’s chest repeatedly while someone else called the paramedics. Thanks to Bear, the owner survived what should have been a fatal heart attack. Now that deserves some head scritches.

Bee populations have reached a record high

macro shot photography of beePhoto by Jenna Lee on Unsplash

Honeybees are essential to the planet, as they pollinate over 130 types of fruits, vegetables, and nuts. For years, honeybee numbers have been in decline—but happily, that’s starting to change. The US has added almost a million bee colonies in the past five years, with more than 3.8 million honeybees in total.

For more ways to smile, check out how Subaru is sharing the love this holiday season.

It's kitten season!

Who can resist a sweet little kitten trying to cross the road? Even if you’re not a fan of cats, you’d likely stop for a baby animal in the street. That’s what happened to Robert Brantley of Louisiana. Brantley was on his way to work and spotted a tiny white and gray kitten trying to get across the street. Being a kind human, he stopped his car to bring the kitten to safety. But he got more than he bargained for, because as he was scooping up the little thing, several more kitty cat siblings came running out of the nearby grass.

In all, Brantley counted 13 kittens. Twelve more than he planned on caring for, but by the looks of his Instagram page, his family has taken their role of cat rescuers seriously. With kitten season being in full effect in these warmer months and pet surrenders remaining high since the return to work from the pandemic, Brantley taking on fostering 13 kittens is much needed. Humane societies across the country are reportedly full or even over capacity. My own local humane society currently has nearly 150 animals over its limit and is begging for foster families and adopters to help clear the shelter.

It’s not only humane societies that have reached or exceeded capacity. Animal rescues across the board are in dire need of people to take animals to make room for the inevitable drop off of puppies and kittens from the current litter season. Mating season, which subsequently turns into puppy and kitten season, starts in early spring and lasts throughout the summer. This inundates local shelters and rescues.

Some shelters, like my local humane society, are asking people who find litters of puppies or kittens to do exactly what Brantley is doing.

Foster them and attempt to adopt them out on their own. It looks like Brantley's wife decided to get these now cleaned up kitties in their Sunday best to have a photoshoot in her makeshift studio. One kitten sported a bow tie while the others climbed around the enclosure patiently awaiting their turn. It also seems Brantley himself is having fun with the situation—in one video he talks about what he packs to go on a marksmanship match and includes 13 kittens along with his tripod and toolkit.

In one of Brantley’s most recent updates, he says that two of the kittens, Michael Scott and Nala, have been adopted by a family in Alexandria, Louisiana. In the same update he informs his followers that one of the kittens still left to be adopted is currently on daily medication and the family is keeping up with check-ups for the rest of the furry crew.

Here’s hoping that all of these little guys get adopted out soon. And may more people take Brantley’s lead to foster the kittens or puppies they find if they have the means. This can also serve as a reminder to spay and neuter your pets and any strays you may be caring for outside of your home.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

Is it time to bail?

There are few things more satisfying than knowing you left a party before things turned sour. You came, had a good time, and had the sense to hit the exit before a fight broke out, the cops showed up, or a bunch of people got into a drunken debate about politics.

There’s one rule my wife and I have: When the couple throwing the party starts to fight, that’s when you grab your things and go.

When you’re younger, it’s a bit harder to recognize the telltale signs that a party is about to go sideways. But when people age and have seen a thing or two, they start to develop a "Spidey sense" for the moment when it’s time to hit the exit before all hell breaks loose. They also know how long to stay before they've become an unwanted house guest.


It’s one thing to know how to leave before things get lame. But it’s seriously important to identify situations that could lead to physical violence or sexual assault.

Reddit user u/mharris1405 must have gone to a rager a few years ago, because in a now-archived post to the online forum, they asked, “What are some signs you need to leave the party?” The Reddit community responded with some funny and practical advice on when they know it’s time to head for the day.

Here are 18 of the best responses.

1. A party rots from the host down

"When the host is the cause of any form of drama," – Nova_Phoenix

2. When the drunks are the only folks left

"When all the fun people have left and it’s just the last of the fucked up people hanging out," – ParsnipBusy.

3. Don't be the last person standing

"When it suddenly goes from 30 people to you and 2 randoms," – hoot69

4. When things turn sloppy

"When people start getting obnoxious. If you see drunk or high people breaking shit, or screaming, interrupting others' conversation, that's when you can see that the party is going to get worse," – ToastedMaple

5. "Who invited these dudes?"

"When a group of 5-10 unknown men arrives, which weren't invited," – Katsudonisyummy

6. When the antisocial crew arrives

"If a group of guys come in and don't greet anybody, they just stand around looking around, someone is about to be jumped or shot. Leave." – CGY-SS

7. When the night has peaked

"There usually comes a point in the night, usually around 2-3am, where everyone’s drunkenness wanes from energised to a bit sloppy. A lot of people start sitting down in increasingly insular circles, and drinks just stop going down so well. A lot of people will just hang around because it was fun earlier and they don’t want the night to end, but you start to really compromise on tomorrow’s happiness by drawing out the night." – Tosslebugmy

8. When it devolves into a sausage fest

"When you’re a young female and suddenly realize the male-female ratio is more than 12-1 and the crowd is taking on a shark-like circling motion with a lot of side-eye. The actual nice guy I was chatting with suddenly said, 'You need to leave' and I jumped to my feet and bailed like the place was on fire. I suspect the nice guy covered my exit. See, there are nice guys and scary ones and fools like I was," – Melina26

9. When your phone is more fun

"You’re starting to be on your phone WAY too much," – Pillsbury Toasters

10. Guns? No thanks

"I once walked into a party and saw a bunch of guns just laying around and I grandpa Simpson’d myself right back out the door," – popcornkernels

11. Leave before you get pulled in

"When you realize you’re just standing there watching the shit show. There’s a time limit to that. No need to become part of the show. Get out while you can," – toriaehi

12. When you're the third wheel

"Everybody is hooking up except you and you’re sitting next to a couple making out on a couch," – OliveaSea

13. When the cops arrive

"I have a rule. No matter how good a time I am having, even if I have done nothing wrong, when cops show up, I leave then," – Latvian_Pete

14. When your friends have left

"When you feel as though you're 'on the outside looking in,'" – Back2Bach

15. Trust your gut

"I saw no one mention this so here I go. When your 6th sense or danger sense is screaming at you. You know that feeling when you suddenly feel unsafe, where there is no reason to be so? That is basically your unconscious mind screaming at you, because you unconsciously noticed something wrong, but cant put your finger on what. For those who have not had this yet, the most easily identifiable signs are, cold running down your neck, sudden extreme vigilance, the hair all over your body stands, and in general you feel like death itself is breathing down your neck.

If you have this (gut) feeling, flee. I am not kidding. Run like the wind. This saved me from some hairy situations.
As for an example that would be, something along the lines of seeing someone spike a drink at the edge of your vision, you personally did not notice it, but deep down you realized what is what so your body warns you about it. Even if this gut feeling is only correct 1 out of 10 times, you will thank it when it does,"
– TehBuckets

16. The rule of two

"Never be the drunkest person in a room. If you are at a party and can’t identify 2 people more intoxicated than you, find a safe ride home or quit drinking for awhile," – YeaahProlly

17. Terrible DJ

"When the music just sucks," – JuliusTaka

18. Again, trust your gut

"When you can tell there is an emotionally unbalanced person there who you have a feeling will be a problem, you may consider leaving if it escalates. Whether it be starting a fight, or you can tell they are going to cause a problem later in the night or you feel uncomfortable around them always trust your gut. The same goes with a person you just feel is 'off' around. You are there to have a good time, not be anxious," – foofighterfoos

Parties are fun but they can't last forever. Stay safe out there.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

via Pixabay

When parents can't step up, should grandparents step in?

A story that recently went viral on Reddit’s AITA forum asks an important question: What is a parent’s role in taking care of their grandchildren? The story is even further complicated because the woman at the center of the controversy is a stepparent.

At the time of writing her post, the woman, 38, met her husband Sam, 47, ten years ago, when his daughter, Leah, 25, was 15. The couple married five years ago after Leah had moved out to go to college.

Leah’s mom passed away when she was 10.

When Leah became pregnant she wanted to keep the baby, but her boyfriend didn’t. After the disagreement, the boyfriend broke up with her. This forced Leah to move back home because she couldn’t afford to be a single parent and live alone on a teacher’s salary.


Leah’s story is familiar to many young mothers facing similar difficulties.

The father isn’t involved in the baby’s life as a caretaker or financially. Sadly, research shows that 33% of all children in the U.S. are born without their biological fathers living in the home.

a young mother holds her baby

Single motherhood comes with unique hardships.

via Alexander Grey/Unsplash

The new mother is a teacher and can’t afford to live on her own with a child. In 2019, a study found that out the top 50 U.S. cities, Pittsburgh is the only one where a new teacher could afford rent.

Today, Portland, OR has joined the very short list of cities where an "average teacher can afford 91.3% of apartments within community distance of their school" according to a recent study.

The stressors of taking care of the baby made Leah realize she needed help.

“But once she had the baby around 4 months back, Leah seemed to realize having a baby is not the sunshine and rainbows she thought it was,” the woman wrote on Reddit. “She barely got any sleep during the last four months. All the while Sam was helping her with the baby while I did almost all chores myself.”

“Now her leave is ending. She did not want to leave the baby at daycare or with a nanny,” the woman continued. “Sam and I both work as well.”

Leah asked her stepmother if she would stay home with the baby. The stepmother said no because she never wanted to have a baby and she has a job. “I asked why Leah can't stay home with the baby herself,” the woman wrote. “She said how she was young and had to build a career. I said many people take breaks to raise kids, and she broke down crying about how she was so tired all the time being a mom and needed something else in her life too.”

A woman holds a newborn baby.

The demands of new motherhood are usually all-encompassing.

via Pixabay

After the woman told her stepdaughter no, her husband pressured her to stay home with the baby. But she refused to give up her job to raise her stepdaughter’s child. “Leah said yesterday how she wished her mom was alive since she would have had her back. She said I didn't love her, and my husband is also mad at me,” the woman wrote. The woman asked the Reddit community if she was in the wrong for “refusing to help my stepdaughter with the baby,” and the community responded with rapturous support.

"[The woman] should tell her husband to knock it off and stop trying to pressure her into raising his daughter’s baby. If he wants a family member to look after her baby while she works, then he can do it," user Heavy_Sand5228 wrote.

"This is Leah's baby that she alone chose to have. That doesn't obligate you to change YOUR life to suit her desires. The whole business of saying you don't love her because you won't quit your job to watch her baby is manipulative and messed up, and I'm shocked your husband is siding with her," user SupremeCourtJust-a** added.

Leah and many women like her are in this situation because, in many places, teachers are underpaid, rent is high, and not all dads pay child support, even those required by law.

Another commenter noted that the baby is much more the father’s responsibility than the stepmother's. "To add, Leah should consider seeking child support from her ex. Her kid should be getting that money," Obiterdicta wrote.

While there are resources to help stepparents connect with their stepchildren and step-grandchildren, it's important to remember that the responsibility to raise a child ultimately rests with the parent(s).

This article originally appeared last year.

A mom mentioned she played the fiddle so the bar band handed her one. She totally shredded.
- YouTube

The devil may have gone down to Georgia, but it appears he took a detour to a bar in Nashville and possessed a middle-aged mom along the way.

In a TikTok video that's been viewed 5.5 million times, Olivia Reeths shared that her family had gone to the Whiskey Bent Saloon in Nashville and was watching the Moonshine Outlaw Band perform. Her mom, Sue, told the band she played the fiddle, and mid-song, the fiddle player decided to hand his instrument over to her.

You kind of have to wonder what the guy was thinking. Did he imagine she'd be able to keep up with the band? Did he figure she'd play a few bars and then hand it back?



Whatever he was picturing, it almost certainly wasn't what she ended up laying down.


Mom might as well have said, "I'll bet a fiddle of gold against your soul, dude," because she came prepared. In hindsight, her whipping off her scarf was the sign it was all over, but who'd have known?

Watch her shred that man's fiddle and see how he reacts:

@skootbutt123

#nashville #whiskeybentsaloon #fiddle

The best part is when the guy pretends to boot the band's fiddler out of the bar. Then, Mama got sassy with it! She was an absolute legend, making her skills appear effortless as she walked around the room. Didn't even take her coat off. She looked like she walked in off the street, which she basically did.

The woman's daughter shared that her mom is classically trained and that her dad was the one who introduced her to country and bluegrass music. They both play in two bands, Coconut Radio Band and Barney’s Bullet.

Seriously impressive talent. And you've got to love the respect the band's fiddle player gave her, despite her basically stealing his soul. What a fun exchange between musicians who clearly love what they do and love to share it with others.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

Reporter Juliana Mazza catches dog thief.

There’s an old trope in movies and TV where a criminal will return to the scene of a crime shortly after it was committed. It’s a great way to create a sense of drama and to give an easy way for the heroes to catch the perpetrator, but does it happen in real life?

It doesn’t make much sense for a criminal to put themselves in a position to get caught, but neither does committing a crime in the first place.

If a criminal does return to the scene, it’s often so they can relive some of the sensations they felt while committing the crime.

Such was the case with alleged dog-napper Kyle Gariepy.

On Friday, May 7, 2021, the Cambridge Police Department in Massachusetts reported that a 13-month-old German shorthaired pointer named “Titus” was stolen out of a parked vehicle.

The department released footage of the alleged dog-napper walking the dog over the Boston University bridge.


The next day, members of the local 7NEWS crew, including Juliana Mazza and photojournalist John Guice, posted up in the parking lot where the dog was stolen to report on the theft.

While the news crew was setting up, they noticed a man who looked like the person in the surveillance cam footage walking a dog that looked like Titus.

Guice walked over to the man, whose name is Kyle Gariepy, and struck up a conversation with him while the news team rolled the camera. Mazza then walked over and asked if she could pet the dog so she could surreptitiously see if he had a name tag.

When she found out the dog was Titus, she asked the man why he didn’t call the number on the tag and he said his phone was “broken.” This begged a follow-up question. It’s been a day, why haven’t you contacted the owner or the authorities?

Gariepy gave a very strange excuse for why he had the dog.

"He was just barking in the car, and I walked past the car, and I thought it was supposed to be a dog I was dog walking," Gariepy told the crew. "It wasn't a kidnapping. It was just a simple mistake."

Why in the world would someone ask him to walk a dog that was in a parked car?

Gariepy’s story didn’t add up, so the news crew called the police and Gariepy stood there and waited until they arrived. Gariepy was arrested and charged with larceny of more than $1,200, and breaking and entering into a vehicle to commit a felony.

Later, the police called Titus’ owner Greg Siesczkiewicz and asked him to come and pick up his dog.

"I'm thrilled to have Titus back. I think, he is thrilled to have me back," he told Inside Edition.

"I'm just glad that the person came back and I'm just glad that you guys were there," Siesczkiewicz told 7NEWS. "If anyone ever sees this who questions the value of media, social media, broadcast media, this proves it."


This article originally appeared two years ago.