Dr. Lorna Breen, head of emergency at a NYC hospital, has died a hero of the pandemic
[TW: This article deals with trauma and suicide.]
We can't possibly imagine it.
Those of us who are sitting in our homes binge-watching Netflix, or even those of us who are out working in essential jobs, simply cannot fathom the horror that's occurred in the nation's COVID-19 hotspots these past few weeks. We see the numbers and statistics. We might read a story or two from a front line medical worker. But we aren't there, seeing the wave of COVID-19 patients arrive, watching person after person die in our care, piling up their belongings in a storage closet for their families to retrieve someday. We aren't there, worried about our own health, knowing that we don't have adequate protection and that we are far more likely than the average American to catch the virus. We aren't there, watching our colleagues fall ill, having to treat our friends and coworkers as patients in addition to the constant flow of strangers we're trying to save.
The toll of this virus isn't just in the infection and mortality rates. It's emotional. It's mental. The doctors and nurses in hard-hit hospitals are experiencing nothing less than the trauma of war. There will be PTSD for many of them. There will be years of therapy. And there will be people for whom the grief and despair prove too formidable a foe to overcome.
The nation has lost a hero in the coronavirus fight with the death of Dr. Lorna Breen, who served as head of the emergency department at New York Presbyterian Allen Hospital in Manhattan. According to the New York Times, Breen, 49, had contracted the virus, recuperated for about a week and a half, and then gone back to work. However, the hospital sent her home again, and her the family took her home to Charlottesville, Virginia. This weekend, she died of self-inflicted wounds.
Breen's father told the Times that his daughter had no history of mental illness. However, she had described to him the devastation of the ER during the outbreak, of patients dying before they even reached the hospital entrance. Her father said she seemed detached when he last spoke to her, and he could sense something was wrong.
"She tried to do her job, and it killed her," he said. "She was truly in the trenches of the front line."
"Make sure she's praised as a hero," he added, "because she was. She's a casualty just as much as anyone else who has died."
Dr. Breen was a colleague. We worked together during the surge. The ER felt like a battlefield. A living nightma… https://t.co/OMVPFedWbq— Anna Podolanczuk (@Anna Podolanczuk) 1588029142.0
Indeed. This is a woman whom coworkers described as always looking out for other people's well-being, who checked in with colleagues while she was sick herself to see how they were doing, who was "a lively presence, outgoing and extroverted," and a talented physician who had obviously witnessed more than her share of emergency situations.
It's hard for those of us who are in areas that are less impacted to understand what those in hot spots have experienced these past several weeks. Some doctors and nurses have taken to social media to share gut-wrenching accounts of what this virus looks like up close, to give us an idea of what we're trying to prevent elsewhere. They all say the same thing. It's not like a normal day in the ER. It's not like a bad flu season. It's not like anything they've seen. It's nonstop COVID and constant death. They are placing body bags in refrigerator trucks. They are holding phones and iPads while their patients' loved ones say goodbye over a video call. They are the final faces that tens of thousands of people are seeing before they die without any family by their side. They are people's last hope, and far too often, there isn't any they can offer.
This pandemic is a beast, and Dr. Lorna Breen died a hero trying to fight it. Let's remember her name.
Dr. Lorna Breen was medical director of one of NYC's top hospitals. She killed herself Sunday. She had been talki… https://t.co/c9Ir4t3r16— Victoria Brownworth ☣ (@Victoria Brownworth ☣) 1588015445.0
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.