English is notoriously hard to learn, but contronyms may be trickiest words of all

Americans are often proud of their home states for a variety of reasons. Maybe they have the best chili, whale-watching, or music scenes. Sometimes it's for more substantial reasons, like a strong statewide healthcare system or robust environmental laws. But when it comes to downright friendliness, nearly everyone thinks they're doing it right.

As a Texan living in Los Angeles, it's baffled me that people don't routinely say hello—at least not in my part of town. Even when it's just me and one other person in an elevator, they will often do anything but make eye contact. Back in Dallas, I'd have left that elevator ride with an Instagram follow and an invite to Thanksgiving. (Okay, slight exaggeration.)

As we rolled into 2025, the World Population Review (which, according to its website, reviews "solid data" and polling, "beyond population statistics to cover economics, geography, and social trends") had a big finding about the "friendliest" state.

WCCO CBS reported, "The study found that Minnesota is the friendliest state." This edged out Texas and other notoriously friendly-seeming states in that region (depending on who you ask). They continued, "So the top five is: Minnesota, Tennessee, South Carolina, Texas, and oh yes – Wyoming." They further add, "Apparently, Wyoming is so friendly that you can leave your keys in the car with the engine running and no one will touch your car."

- A report on which state is the friendliest. www.youtube.com, WCCO

The anchors then have a conversation about it, one of them sharing, "Part of why I'm still here is I'm having a great 'people experience.'" The other anchor chimes in, "I knew about the reputation coming in. I had a roommate from Minnesota, and he was like, 'You could just leave your house unlocked in your neighborhood and no one would bother you.' Everyone was just really friendly and kind." (He notes that people are a tad grumpy after a Vikings loss, though.)

There was some pushback on the "Minnesota nice" reputation, with one anchor claiming people can be passive-aggressive. At the same time, the others hadn't quite experienced that, a few in the comments shared in the sentiment.

But of course, not everyone agrees with the ranking. Over on Reddit, a recent post asks, "What's the friendliest state and why?" This got 1.6 thousand comments, and, as one might imagine, they're quite varied. One person jokes, "I predict 50 different answers, lol."

What became extremely apparent early in the comments was the attempt to find a nuanced definition of what it means to be "friendly" in the first place. There was quite a distinction between what was considered "friendly" and what was considered "kind."

One person writes, "I think New England has kind people, but they aren’t particularly 'friendly.' Folks won’t stop for idle chit-chat and small talk, but if they see you’re in actual need of assistance, they’ll move mountains to help a stranger."

A lighthouse overlooks the ocean in Maine. Giphy

Another agrees, "I can see that. Friendly can mean different things to different people. I can't speak for most of the other states in NE, but as a Mainer, we do generally keep to ourselves, but that's more about being reserved as opposed to being standoffish, though it can look like that. We're more than happy to talk to folks and have a good time. The easiest way to start a conversation as a tourist is to ask a local what restaurant they'd recommend. You'll have a great conversation, and probably some great food too!"

A Jersey person enters the chat to say sometimes what is considered "friendly" feels like too much to them. "I’m from NJ, so I’m used to some abrasive but friendly strangers, if that makes sense. Like, I’ll hold the door for you, but call you a shmuck while I do. I travel to NC often, and the people there are generally just nice for no reason. Lots of baby name-calling – 'honey,' 'sweetheart' – even if they don’t know you. Also, courtesy is kind of just a given there. Part of me is creeped out by the overt kindness because I'm used to most people just minding their business, not being 'too much.'"

A woman tips her hat and says hello. Giphy GIF by StickerGiant

In an Upworthy article from last year, staff writer Annie Reneau discussed the "nice vs. kind" debate, couched in an East Coast-West Coast rivalry. She quotes an X commenter, who writes, "Niceness is saying 'I'm so sorry you're cold,' while kindness may be 'Ugh, you've said that five times, here's a sweater!' Kindness is addressing the need, regardless of tone."

Many on the Reddit thread also note that friendliness and kindness can be subjective, depending on one's ethnicity, gender, etc. It's certainly not a one-size-fits-all experience. And at the end of the day, the first commenter was correct. Nearly every state was represented with excellent reasons for why its state was lovely.