Team USA heptathlete Chari Hawkins on overcoming anxiety and making 'strong sexy' for women in sports


Chari Hawkins - The Pursuit of Progress | On www.youtube.com

On the surface, Team USA heptathlete Chari Hawkins has it all: She's aiming for a spot in the 2020 Summer Games in Tokyo, she's mentoring young female athletes, and recently became sponsored by On running shoes.

But her path to success hasn't been an easy one. Hawkins sat down with Upworthy to talk about how she works to overcome self-doubt and anxiety, body issues facing female athletes, and what messages she's hoping to pass to other young women.


Upworthy: Most people naturally assume high-performance athletes have an abundance of confidence. You're open about your own challenges facing anxiety. What has that dynamic been like?

Chari Hawkins: When I was in college I used to try to injure myself because I didn't want to run. When it came to competing I realized I didn't like it. I finally started to ask myself questions: Why am I feeling this way and what can I do to fix it? I had been making my personality and performance connected into one thing. The person who I am was tied to how I performed. I started realizing that competitive track is something that I love to do but it's not who I am.

Now that you've had success on the international stage, what kind of anxiety do you face and what are some of the ways you cope with it?

Last week, I found a tip to deal with anxiety. I was coming up on a big practice where it was a really hard workout and I was silly nervous for it. I was starting to get butterflies in a negative way. Before practice, I was getting a sports massage. They are brutal. I decided if I could take that pain I could take the pain of my workout the next day. I started visualizing my race model for the next day, my pace, I was working with the pain that I was feeling. I was able to get through it a lot better. I wasn't as squirmy. The next day, it was my most successful workout ever. It was almost as if I had already experienced it. When I started feeling pain or anxiety in my workout, I pushed past it in my head. Afterward, I was thinking of how it could help people in areas outside of sports. like if you were at a public speaking event.

You've faced some uphill battles on the road to success. How close did you come to quitting and what made you push forward?

A few years ago, I kind of knew I wasn't going to be good enough for the Olympics. My coach told me, 'I think you're done.' I had been questioning myself. Still, I knew that I had more in me. I did a lot of research and found a college and decided to get my masters degree. I decided to run for the school. I decided I'm going to work and not have one day where I don't work as hard as I possibly can. I'm not going to go without fighting as hard as I possibly can. That's exactly what I did. Got enough sleep, put the right kinds of food in my body. I was working on getting faster, stronger, but also on my physical recovery. Just making strides in so many areas. It took me from 25th in the nation to 3rd. I honestly truly believe that it's because I made a promise to myself to give everything I could. I wasn't necessarily born for the Olympics. Now, even looking back, I see girls that go to national and become all-American. I didn't actually go until my third year. I definitely was not as naturally gifted. If I can have my mindset on 'I am going to the Olympics,' not 'I hope to go to the Olympics.' My eyes were just so focused. This is an actuality. You don't need to be a freak athlete.

As a competitive athlete, and especially as a woman, you face enormous pressure to maintain a certain image while also competing at the highest level.

Body image can get in the way of happiness for both men and women. It's that way in all aspects of life but especially for athletes and track and field athletes. One thing I've learned is how much genetics come into play. I'm kind of a very soft athlete naturally. I'll be at my very strongest and I'll kind of look like I'm a little bit out of shape. It doesn't define myself as a person or how I view myself as a human being. I have incredibly broad shoulders, which helps me throw. I have an incredibly short torso but I've learned how much it helps me with hurdles. Your body may not look like "her" body but she may not be able to do the things you can do. It's all about doing your best to stay healthy and letting your body so that it can.

You have very supportive fans but other high-profile women in competitive sports have famously been the target of sexism and online bullying. What's your experience with that been like?

Someone via social media told me that I needed to lay off the cheeseburgers because they didn't see any abs popping through. I learned the hard way about two years ago, I ate nothing about vegetables. It wasn't about anything other than I wanted to look good in my uniform. I was getting outside compliments but my performance went downhill. If I wanted to achieve my goals, my goal was to get better at this sport that I love to do, not be unhappy with my body and performance. Our bodies are capable of so much we just have to appreciate them and take care of them.

Recently, you became one of the first athletes sponsored by On running shoes. I'm a competitive long-distance runner and full-disclosure where On running shoes. The first time I wore them I honestly wondered if they were "legal" for competitions because of the edge they seemed to give me.

Yeah, I thought the same thing! The first time I wore On during a race, my feet felt like they were on fire but in the best possible way. It's something I would proud to get behind. Our shoes and apparel can express so much about who we are but it's also about being comfortable, being functional and being healthy.


You've spent time mentoring young runners through the Girls on the Run organization. What have you been able to pass along through your own trials and triumphs?

It's been such an incredible experience. Every single day they got a little better. The day I spoke to them, the subject was joy and all the things that bring them joy. Every time they ran a lap they got a bracelet. They wrote something on a board that brought them joy. What an incredible practice. Running isn't a punishment. At the same time, they don't have to be average. Running can kind of help you become your own empowered self. They don't need to fit any mold.

Chari Hawkins is currently training in preparation for a potential role with Team USA in the Tokyo 2020 Summer Games. You can follow her on Instagram and Twitter.

Images courtesy of Letters of Love
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When Grace Berbig was 7 years old, her mom was diagnosed with leukemia, a cancer of the body’s blood-forming tissues. Being so young, Grace didn’t know what cancer was or why her mother was suddenly living in the hospital. But she did know this: that while her mom was in the hospital, she would always be assured that her family was thinking of her, supporting her and loving her every step of her journey.

Nearly every day, Grace and her two younger sisters would hand-make cards and fill them with drawings and messages of love, which their mother would hang all over the walls of her hospital room. These cherished letters brought immeasurable peace and joy to their mom during her sickness. Sadly, when Grace was just 10 years old, her mother lost her battle with cancer.“

Image courtesy of Letters of Love

Losing my mom put the world in a completely different perspective for me,” Grace says. “I realized that you never know when someone could leave you, so you have to love the people you love with your whole heart, every day.”

Grace’s father was instrumental in helping in the healing process of his daughters. “I distinctly remember my dad constantly reminding my two little sisters, Bella and Sophie, and I that happiness is a choice, and it was now our job to turn this heartbreaking event in our life into something positive.”

When she got to high school, Grace became involved in the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society and a handful of other organizations. But she never felt like she was doing enough.

“I wanted to create an opportunity for people to help beyond donating money, and one that anyone could be a part of, no matter their financial status.”

In October 2018, Grace started Letters of Love, a club at her high school in Long Lake, Minnesota, to emotionally support children battling cancer and other serious illnesses through letter-writing and craft-making.


Image courtesy of Letters of Love

Much to her surprise, more than 100 students showed up for the first club meeting. From then on, Letters of Love grew so fast that during her senior year in high school, Grace had to start a GoFundMe to help cover the cost of card-making materials.

Speaking about her nonprofit today, Grace says, “I can’t find enough words to explain how blessed I feel to have this organization. Beyond the amount of kids and families we are able to support, it allows me to feel so much closer and more connected to my mom.”

Since its inception, Letters of Love has grown to more than 25 clubs with more than 1,000 members providing emotional support to more than 60,000 patients in children’s hospitals around the world. And in the process it has become a full-time job for Grace.

“I do everything from training volunteers and club ambassadors, paying bills, designing merchandise, preparing financial predictions and overviews, applying for grants, to going through each and every card ensuring they are appropriate to send out to hospitals.”

Image courtesy of Letters of Love

In addition to running Letters of Love, Grace and her small team must also contend with the emotions inherent in their line of work.

“There have been many, many tears cried,” she says. “Working to support children who are battling cancer and other serious and sometimes chronic illnesses can absolutely be extremely difficult mentally. I feel so blessed to be an organization that focuses solely on bringing joy to these children, though. We do everything we can to simply put a smile on their face, and ensure they know that they are so loved, so strong, and so supported by people all around the world.”

Image courtesy of Letters of Love

Letters of Love has been particularly instrumental in offering emotional support to children who have been unable to see friends and family due to COVID-19. A video campaign in the summer of 2021 even saw members of the NFL’s Minnesota Vikings and the NHL’s Minnesota Wild offer short videos of hope and encouragement to affected children.

Grace is currently taking a gap year before she starts college so she can focus on growing Letters of Love as well as to work on various related projects, including the publication of a children’s book.

“The goal of the book is to teach children the immense impact that small acts of kindness can have, how to treat their peers who may be diagnosed with disabilities or illness, and how they are never too young to change the world,” she says.

Since she was 10, Grace has kept memories of her mother close to her, as a source of love and inspiration in her life and in the work she does with Letters of Love.

Image courtesy of Grace Berbig

“When I lost my mom, I felt like a section of my heart went with her, so ever since, I have been filling that piece with love and compassion towards others. Her smile and joy were infectious, and I try to mirror that in myself and touch people’s hearts as she did.”

For more information visit Letters of Love.

Please donate to Grace’s GoFundMe and help Letters of Love to expand, publish a children’s book and continue to reach more children in hospitals around the world.

Freya from Maya Higa's YouTube video.

Ever wonder what an ideal date for a lemur would be? Or a lizard’s favorite Disney princess?

Thanks to one YouTube poster with a passion for animals and an endearing sense of humor, all questions shall be answered. Well, maybe not all questions. But at the very least, you’ll have eight minutes of insanely cute footage.

In a series titled “Tiny Mic Interviews,” Maya Higa approaches little beasties with a microphone so small she has to hold it with just her thumb and forefinger. And yes, 99% of the animals try to eat it.

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Images courtesy of AFutureSuperhero and Friends and Balance Dance Project
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The day was scorching hot, but the weather wasn’t going to stop a Star Wars Stormtrooper from handing out school supplies to a long line of eager children. “You guys don’t have anything illegal back there - any droids or anything?” the Stormtrooper asks, making sure he was safe from enemies before handing over a colorful backpack to a smiling boy.

The man inside the costume is Yuri Williams, founder of AFutureSuperhero And Friends, a Los Angeles nonprofit that uplifts and inspires marginalized people with small acts of kindness.

Yuri’s organization is one of four inaugural grant winners from the Upworthy Kindness Fund, a joint initiative between Upworthy and GoFundMe that celebrates kindness and everyday actions inspired by the best of humanity. This year, the Upworthy Kindness Fund is giving $100,000 to grassroots changemakers across the world.

To apply, campaign organizers simply tell Upworthy how their kindness project is making a difference. Between now and the end of 2021, each accepted individual or organization will receive $500 towards an existing GoFundMe and a shout-out on Upworthy.

Meet the first four winners:

1: Balance Dance Project: This studio aims to bring accessible dance to all in the Sacramento, CA area. Lead fundraiser Miranda Macias says many dancers spend hours a day at Balance practicing contemporary, lyrical, hip-hop, and ballet. Balance started a GoFundMe to raise money to cover tuition for dancers from low-income communities, buy dance team uniforms, and update its facility. The $500 contribution from the Kindness Fund nudged Balance closer to its $5,000 goal.

2: Citizens of the World Mar Vista Robotics Team: In Los Angeles, middle school teacher James Pike is introducing his students to the field of robotics via a Lego-building team dedicated to solving real-world problems.

James started a GoFundMe to crowdfund supplies for his students’ team ahead of the First Lego League, a school-against-school matchup that includes robotics competitions. The team, James explained, needed help to cover half the cost of the pricey $4,000 robotics kit. Thanks to help from the Upworthy Kindness Fund and the generosity of the Citizens of the World Middle School community, the team exceeded its initial fundraising goal.

Citizens of the World Mar Vista Robotics Team video update youtu.be

3: Black Fluidity Tattoo Club: Kiara Mills and Tann Parker want to fix a big problem in the tattoo industry: there are too few Black tattoo artists. To tackle the issue, the duo founded the Black Fluidity Tattoo Club to inspire and support Black tattooers. While the Brooklyn organization is open to any Black person, Kiara and Tann specifically want to encourage dark-skinned artists to train in an affirming space among people with similar identities.

To make room for newcomers, the club recently moved into a larger studio with a third station for apprentices or guest artists. Unlike a traditional fundraiser that supports the organization exclusively, Black Fluidity Tattoo Club will distribute proceeds from GoFundMe directly to emerging Black tattoo artists who are starting their own businesses. The small grants, supported in part with a $500 contribution from the Upworthy Kindness Fund, will go towards artists’ equipment, supplies, furnishings, and other start-up costs.

4: AFutureSuperhero And Friends’ “Hope For The Holidays”: Founder Yuri Williams is fundraising for a holiday trip to spread cheer to people in need across all fifty states.

Along with collaborator Rodney Smith Jr., Yuri will be handing out gifts to children, adults, and animals dressed as a Star Wars’ Stormtrooper, Spiderman, Deadpool, and other movie or comic book characters. Starting this month, the crew will be visiting children with disabilities or serious illnesses, bringing leashes and toys to animal shelters for people taking home a new pet, and spreading blessings to unhoused people—all while in superhero costume. This will be the third time Yuri and his nonprofit have taken this journey.

AFutureSuperhero started a GoFundMe in July to cover the cost of gifts as well as travel expenses like hotels and rental cars. To help the nonprofit reach its $15,000 goal, the Upworthy Kindness Fund contributed $500 towards this good cause.

Think you qualify for the fund? Tell us how you’re bringing kindness to your community. Grants will be awarded on a rolling basis from now through the end of 2021. For questions and more information, please check out our FAQ's and the Kindness Toolkit for resources on how to start your own kindness fundraiser.

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2 photos of a woman's bedroom reveal just how powerful depression can be.

"We need to be able to talk to each other about our feelings, even the bad ones."

This article originally appeared on September 7, 2016

Jonna Roslund is a 26-year-old from Sweden who lives with depression.

Photo via Jonna Roslund, used with permission.

Living with a mental illness affects many areas of a person's life, including one annoyance most of us can relate to: the dread of household chores.

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Upworthy is sharing this letter from Myra Sack on the anniversary of the passing of her daughter Havi Lev Goldstein. Loss affects everyone differently and nothing can prepare us for the loss of a young child. But as this letter beautifully demonstrates, grief is not something to be ignored or denied. We hope the honest words and feelings shared below can help you or someone you know who is processing grief of their own. The original letter begins below:


Dear Beauty,

Time is crawling to January 20th, the one-year anniversary of the day you took your final breath on my chest in our bed. We had a dance party the night before. Your posse came over. Aunts, uncles, grandparents, closest friends, and your loving nanny Tia. We sat in the warm kitchen with music on and passed you from one set of arms to another. Everyone wanted one last dance with you. We didn’t mess around with only slow songs. You danced to Havana and Danza Kuduro, too. Somehow, you mustered the energy to sway and rock with each of us, despite not having had anything to eat or drink for six days. That night, January 19th, we laughed and cried and sang and danced. And we held each other. We let our snot and our tears rest on each other’s shoulders; we didn’t wipe any of them away. We ate ice cream after dinner, as we do every night. And on this night, we rubbed a little bit of fresh mint chocolate chip against your lips. Maybe you’d taste the sweetness.

Reggaeton and country music. Blueberry pancakes and ice cream. Deep, long sobs and outbursts of real, raw laughter. Conversations about what our relationships mean to each other and why we are on this earth.


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