Bride called ‘heartless’ by family for planning child-free wedding refuses to change her mind
Shouldn’t the family have a say in her wedding?
One of the major decisions a couple has when planning a wedding is whether guests are free to bring their children or if it will be child-free. Many people believe that children should be able to come to weddings because, after all, they are family affairs.
However, the counter-argument is that a wedding also costs a lot of money per guest, and people would rather have an adult enjoying a $75 plate of prime rib than a 5-year-old who will take a bite and then ask for some chicken nuggets.
Further, the child-free crowd may also want their party to be an all-out rave, which may be inappropriate for children to attend.
A Reddit user took a lot of heat from her family for having a no-kids policy at her wedding and many folks applauded her decision. The bridge-to-be, 28, posted about her decision and the ensuing drama on the AITAH forum.
“I (28 F) am getting married in a few months, and my fiance and I have been planning a child-free wedding. We both agreed that we want our wedding to be an adult-only affair,” the bride wrote. “We made this very clear on our invitations! However, my sister-in-law (32) has four young children and she's upset about our decision. She called me pleading to make an exception for her kids, saying that she couldn't leave them.”
But the bride stuck to her guns.
“I empathize, but I stood firm on our decision, explaining that we wanted a more formal setting without kids running around. I suggested she could enjoy a night off and assured her we would help her find some childcare options,” the bride continued.
“She got upset, accused me of being heartless, and said if her kids weren't welcomed, she wouldn't attend. My brother (her husband) called me, saying I was causing unnecessary drama and that it was unfair to exclude her children. Now my family is divided,” the bride added.
So, is the bride right to keep her child-free policy even though it would mean that some family members won’t attend her wedding? [Am I wrong] for telling my sister-in-law she can't bring her kids to MY wedding?” she asked the Reddit community.
The commenters overwhelmingly sided with the bride for a simple reason: it’s her big day and she can do what she wants.
"No, it’s your wedding. You're allowed not to have children there if you don’t want them," ShadoMonkey wrote.
LegendofLumis had the perfect response to family members who called her selfish. "You're go***** damn right I am. It's my wedding. Don't bother coming if you aren't going to follow my rules that I've made for my day," they wrote.
Others note that having a child-free wedding comes with a cost and the bride should accept the fact that some people won’t be able to attend.
"As long as OP is okay with people not coming to her wedding due to her rules, then everything should be fine. There shouldn't be drama on either side. … Hopefully, she's flexible and fine if people don't attend," Throwra98787564 wrote.
The good news is that the bride and her sister-in-law were able to work out their disagreement.
“I explained how I envisioned my wedding day and why I preferred it to be an adult-only event. I emphasized wanting everyone to have a great time without worrying about kids being restless or not enjoying themselves,” the bride wrote. “Surprisingly, she was understanding! She admitted she was very upset but appreciated my honesty. We discussed alternative childcare options and she agreed to arrange a babysitter to look after her children during the ceremony and reception.”