You've probably been there. You're out and about and you see something that just feels ... off.
"Should I step in? ... But it's not really any of my business. ... And I'm not even sure they need my help..."
Our gut tells us to speak up, to ask questions, to tell someone. But often, we don't.
This happened to Malyk Bonnet, a 17-year-old from Montreal. But instead of ignoring his instincts, he acted brilliantly. It may have saved a woman's life.
Photo via CBC News.
He'd been waiting for the bus after a shift at the restaurant where he works when he saw a man and woman arguing. He sensed a red flag.
"The guy was screaming at her, the girl," Bonnet told CBC News. "He wasn't really gentle with her, and I started watching, because I thought he would hit her, so I approached them a little bit."
The pair asked Bonnet if he could lend them bus fares to nearby Laval, a city about 25 miles away from downtown Montreal.
Bonnet felt uneasy about what was happening. But instead of declining, he decided to get more involved. He helped the man and woman with their fares and told them he was also traveling to Laval (which was not the case).
"My plan was to keep them in a public place where he wouldn't hurt her," Bonnet told Dateline NBC. "I decided to be friendly with the man and have him think I was his friend. I played my game and he seemed to trust me."
After arriving in Laval, Bonnet suggested they grab a bite to eat. At the restaurant, he gave the pair $50 for food and excused himself to use the restroom. Finally having the opportunity, he called the police and told them "someone had been kidnapped." Officers arrived minutes later.
What Bonnet hadn't known at the time was that police were already looking for the perpetrator and his victim.
"We were looking for a 29-year-old woman who was kidnapped by her former boyfriend earlier that day," Laval police Lt. Daniel Guérin told CBC News. "We believed that man was very dangerous."
Previously, the abuser spent time behind bars for assaulting his ex and sending her death threats.
Bonnet told Dateline NBC that while he didn't speak with the woman after police arrived, he could see how relieved she was. "We made eye contact and she had tears in her eyes. She was really happy."
While this particular story unfolded in Canada — where roughly half of women have experienced at least one incident of sexual or physical violence since the age of 16 — you'll find similarly alarming statistics in the U.S.
Photo via Thinkstock.
1 out of 4 American women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. What's more, female victims of homicide are far more likely than male victims to be killed by a current or former partner.
Although it may seem easy to simply leave an abusive relationship in the dust, take it from some women who've been there — it's much more difficult than it seems from the outside looking in.
Instead of passing judgment, you can learn more about how you can help friends and family members who may be experiencing domestic abuse.
"His quick actions may have saved this young woman's life," Guérin said. The officers made sure to collect money so Bonnet could be reimbursed for the bus fares and food he purchased while trying to save the victim. "He now has 500 new friends in our department."
Thank you, Malyk, for reminding me that sometimes the bravest thing I can do is simply listen to that voice when it's trying to get my attention.
This article originally appeared on 08.20.15
Photo of Skylar.
Even though he was born "Katherine Elizabeth," Skylar lived like a regular little boy for most of his childhood.
He was happy.
A photo collection of a young Skylar.
Photo from YouTube video.
Little Skylar.
Photo from YouTube video.
But when puberty hit, he started feeling intense pressure to be "normal" and fit in. So he tried to present as more traditionally "feminine."
Puberty happens.
Photo from YouTube video.
But he couldn't shake the feeling that he was denying a huge part of himself. Late in high school, he started taking testosterone.
Eating and feeling more comfortable.
Photo from YouTube video.
Skylar started feeling more comfortable immediately. And before he knew it, he was at his "dream school," having the time of his life. And taking lots and lots of pictures of himself.
A person and their dog.
Photo from YouTube video.
Access to medical care played a big part in Skylar becoming the person he is today, but that wasn't all.
Check out his story and walk five years in his shoes. It's definitely a perspective we don't see often enough:
This article originally appeared on 08.30.14
"A man and his son are driving in their car when they are hit by a tractor-trailer.
Photo via iStock.
(We were driving at the time, so of course this was the riddle he decided to tell.)
The father dies instantly.
The son is badly injured. Paramedics rush him to the hospital.
Photo via iStock.
As he is being wheeled into the operating room, the surgeon takes one look the boy and says:
'I can't operate on him. He's my son.'
How is that possible?!"
Photo via iStock.
Back then, most women didn't work outside of the home.
Few of those who did had college degrees, much less professional degrees.
Female doctors were few and far between.
Back then, it was a hard riddle. A very hard riddle.
To me, it was normal.
I knew women who were lawyers. Bankers. Politicians. My own doctor was a woman.
To be sure, women still faced challenges and discrimination in the workplace. And even 20 years later, they still do.
But at its core, the riddle is about how a family can work. And that had changed. Long-overdue progress had rendered the big, sexist assumption that underpinned the whole thing moot.
A very hard riddle was suddenly not a riddle at all.
I never forgot it.
My dad at 30 (left) and me at 30. Photos by Eric March/Upworthy and Mary March, used with permission.
I don't have kids, but I mentor a child through a volunteer program.
Once a week, we get together and hang out for an hour. We play ping pong, do science experiments, and write songs. Neither of us like to go outside.
It's a good match.
One day, we decided to try to stump each other with riddles.
He rattled off about five or six.
I could only remember one: The one about the man, his son, and the surgeon.
Photo via iStock.
I thought it would be silly to tell it.
I was sure that, if it was easy in 1993, it would be even easier in 2014. Kind of ridiculous, even.
But a part of me was curious.
Maybe it wouldn't be so easy.
Maybe I was missing something obvious, making my own flawed assumptions about how a family could work.
Maybe the world had changed in ways that would be second nature to a 13-year-old but not to me.
"A man and his son are driving in their car, when they are hit by a tractor-trailer. The father dies instantly. The son is badly injured and is rushed to the hospital by paramedics. As he is being wheeled into the operating room, the surgeon takes one look at the boy and says:
'I can't operate on him. He's my son.'
How is that possible?!"
Photo via iStock.
Times change. Progress isn't perfect. But no matter what shape a family takes, at the end of the day, #LoveWins.
This article was written by Eric March and originally appeared on 06.21.16