upworthy

7 infuriating situations every holiday traveler will recognize — and how to deal.

Traveling around the holidays can be a slow-moving nightmare. The most important thing to remember amidst the chaos? It's all going to be OK, and you will get where you're going. Honest. Here, then, are 7 of the most infuriating parts of holiday travel — and reasons why you shouldn't panic.

1. A family of six is unloading literally every single thing from their luggage as slow as humanly possible right in front of you on the security line.

Yeah. Sure. It totally ends somewhere. Photo by Dragfyre/Wikimedia Commons.


Why it's exasperating:

Airport security is the worst, even under ideal conditions. Thankfully, you're a pro. You've done this a million times. You know your system. You wear your shoes you can kick off without untying, and you place your laptop and plastic bag full of liquids on top of everything else in your suitcase so you can take them out right away. It's obvious to you.

Why isn't it obvious to the mom, dad, and four slow-moving, whining, school-aged children who somehow maneuvered themselves directly in front of you? Don't they realize there are eleventy-hundred people behind them in line? Why did they bring five full-size bottles of shampoo? Can't Tabitha put her stuffed dog in the suitcase for twelve seconds? Did they really need to have that fourth kid? Isn't that kind of showing off? How are they even affording this?

Now you're stressed out at the mere idea of having four children in the first place, and it's all their fault.

Why you should remain at peace:

When you think about it, it makes total sense that they're inexperienced at this. Most likely, the reason they so rarely travel is that they know how difficult it is to take the kids on a plane without pissing off everybody in the world. The only reason they're doing so now is because they absolutely have to.

Maybe Dad hasn't been on a plane for so long he didn't know about the liquid thing when he packed the shampoo. Maybe Mom used to travel all the time, and she's frustrated that her system has been disrupted by the presence of children. Maybe she's bitterly recalling how easy it used to be. She's probably picking up on the hostility behind her and not entirely not agreeing with it. Probably at least one of the kids is sick, and making sure medicine is accessible is more important than getting all computers removed from their sleeves in a timely fashion.

Take a deep breath. This is why you knew to get here two hours early. You got this. Remember how you're a pro? You'll get to where your going. You always do. Zen, baby. Zen.

2. The cashier at the Wendy's across from Gate C25 took your order over 20 minutes ago, and your classic double with cheese value meal appears to be nowhere on the horizon.

Imagine what the line at the good airport Wendy's is like. Photo by Badudoy/Wikimedia Commons.

Why you're probably getting ready chew your own foot off and eat it:

You always come to this Wendy's. This is your airport Wendy's. The whole reason you come here is because it's quick-quick, bang-bang, in-and-out. If you wanted to linger, you'd have stopped at the O'Houlihan's near B6 or, at the very least, the Chili's Too. There's usually never anyone here!

Only now there's a cluster of a thousand people waiting off to the side, all of whom ordered in front of you. How could it possibly take this long to reheat a frozen meat patty in a machine? It's called fast food for a reason. Not only is it fast food, it's fast food in an airport for Chrissakes. Speed is of the essence! People have flights to catch! What is taking so long? Come on, people!

Why, dude, it's honestly OK and you should just chill:

Trust me, if you think it's exasperating waiting what seems like hours for your order, try being the poor teenager behind the counter desperately flailing to keep making food for progressively more aggravated travelers from 6:00 a.m. to midnight.

The winter holiday travel days are some of the busiest days of the year for the airport — and by extension, the airport Wendy's — and they're likely understaffed. You're heading to a nice, four-day vacation, while there's a strong chance the Wendy's workers will have to work not only over the weekend, but on the actual holiday that you're traveling home to celebrate. That really sucks. Especially when they're making barely above the already ridiculously low minimum wage to do it.

You'll be fine. Worst-case scenario? You have to forfeit $8.67 and be hungry for a while longer. You'll have plenty of time over the weekend to overcompensate on calories. Think about pumpkin pie and feel the mellow wash over you like a gooey, orange wave (sorry for the visual).

3. Your flight is cancelled, and of course the line to see the gate agent for rebooking is moving at a glacial pace.

That noncommittal smile conceals the white-hot rage of a thousand suns. Photo via iStock.

Why you're slowly turning an ever-brighter shade of Looney Tunes red:

Not only does having your flight scratched mess up your carefully arranged napping schedule for the weekend, but now every single person on this flight who is going where you're going has to cram onto the same dwindling number of later flights.

You're 28th on line to see the gate agent to change your ticket, and if you don't get to the front of the line soon, you might not be able to get out tonight and miss that family dinner that's your favorite part of the whole trip.

Why is there just one gate agent working? Why don't they send another? Why doesn't she do her job faster? When you get up there, you're going to give her a piece of your mind. Why doesn't she deserve it? It's her fault for working for such a terrible airline in the first place.

Why it's actually in your best interests to de-steam your ears and de-dagger your eyes:

Literally every single person at this airport has yelled at this gate agent. See? The guy at the front of the line is doing it right now. And another guy is yelling at her from over to the side. So many people are yelling at her it has become her normal. It's actually the reason the line is moving so slow. Instead of problem solving, everyone just wants to vent, and it grinds the process to a halt.

When it's your turn, you're far more likely to get what you want if you treat her like a human being. I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but it will be a huge relief to both you and her, and she'll be much more likely to squeeze you onto the 7:50 to Des Moines or help troubleshoot with some out-of-the-box thinking and fly you somewhere else that's close enough that you can rent a car and drive.

You know this. Resist the dark side! You can do it. (Also, call the airline while you're in line. This is often way faster. You know this already!)

4. Every single passenger crowding the gate as if the plane is going to leave without them if they're not the first one on.

Photo by Michael Cote/Flickr.

Why it's frustrating beyond all realm of human comprehension:

What marks an inexperienced traveler more than clustering by the gate during the boarding process even though they have at least 20 minutes to board? It's so obvious it's infuriating. Don't they know what noobs they look like?

It's not just aesthetics either! Sure, they look calm now, but when your zone gets called, that seemingly-innocent glob of people is going to react like the Chicago Bears defensive line and close ranks, making it impossible for you to get on line until it's impossibly long. Once you do make it, you'll only be able to wait in a calm, orderly fashion, until the next zone is called and 75 people will somehow expect to shove in ahead of you because they were waiting on what they thought was the line, but clearly wasn't the line. Everyone who is anyone knows it wasn't the line!

And the worst part? You'll be forced to let them in so as not to appear like airport Scrooge. But you sure feel like elbowing them out of the way. And who could blame you?

Why rushing the gate actually makes a ton of sense:

It's not about being the first to sit down (no one, except maybe those in first class, wants more time on the plane), it's about making sure they get their bag in the overhead bin — preferably somewhere near them, or even just at all.

With nearly every airline instituting expensive checked baggage fees, everyone is fighting for the same increasingly limited amount of overhead bin space. It's completely rational behavior if you're not in the elite rank of flyers who happen to be status or credit card-benefitted into Zone 1 or higher. You're probably one of the lucky ones, and that's great. You can take your time. But what they're doing is also in their best interests.

Don't hate the player, as they say...

5. An agent asks you to put your bag in the bag sizer, even though 17 people with bags bigger than yours just got on.

If this is your view, it's already too late. Photo by Rob Schiffmann, used with permission.

What you are tempted to screamsay:

"No. No, no, no, no. No way. Nope. The whole reason I bought this bag is because it's 'airline approved carry-on size.' Dude, come on! Nothing fits in that sizer. We all know it's designed that way. Dude. Come. On! Dude! What about that guy? He just brought a trombone on board! This is a trick to get more of us to throw up our hands and pay that stupid fee. You know it and I know it, so let's not pretend. That woman right there just snuck by you wheeling a full-on 50-pound bag! Enough! This is petty tyranny and I reject it! I reject it, I say! Is this Communist Russia? It is not! Dude! Come. On!"

What you probably should say instead:

"Yes. OK. I understand, sir. This is your job, and although I disagree with the premise of your employment, I respect that you are being paid to perform said job and will likely be disciplined if you fail to. I shall remove my laptop and book and claim my bag at baggage claim, probably no more than 15 minutes after I otherwise would have left the airport. Have a pleasant weekend. I hope you enjoy a well-earned few days of rest."

6. A fat person is sitting next to you on the plane.

Why it's driving you slowly up the fuselage:

You're in coach, which means you have a seat that is roughly two inches wide by one-inch deep. And this person is encroaching on 1/3 of it or more? What gives them the right! Why do you of all people have to sit next to them when there's a whole plane full of seats you could be sitting in instead? Why should their body take precedence over your comfort? Is there a manager you can complain to? This is outrageous!

Why you should redirect your rage toward more deserving targets:

Speaking as someone who is frequently the fat person in question, let me state for the record that we are just as uncomfortable as you, if not more so — and definitely 1,000,000% more mortified. According to the National Institutes of Health, nearly 70% of Americans weigh more than what is considered "normal" weight. Which means "normal" weight ... isn't actually so normal anymore.

And yet, airline seats continue to get smaller as airlines attempt to maximize profits at the expense of passenger comfort. In an ideal world, we'd all have, I don't know, human-size seats? Seats that more closely reflect the American body these days? But sadly, we don't live in that world, and just like you, we have to sit somewhere. Two to six hours from now, you can have all the personal space you so desire. For now, feel free to watch "Bridge of Spies" over our shoulder.

7. The person in the middle seat is snoring as loud as humanly possible.

Photo via iStock.

Why this is fully the worst of all the available universes:

A little bit of snoring? Fine. You can live with that. It happens. But this? This is a full-on, tractor-trailer backfiring, chalkboard-scratching, deafening demon wail direct from the maw of Hades. You try to listen to music to drown it out, but the only music you have loaded on your work laptop is that Rascal Flatts album your boss gave you for last year's Secret Santa. You now have to decide whether to listen to jackhammer-level snoring or Rascal Flatts — a choice no human being should ever be forced to make.

You are in hell with no relief in sight. Not even a free can of Canada Dry ginger ale can numb the pain.

Why it's actually not so bad:

I've got nothing, actually. This is horrible. It is your God-given right as an American to be mad about this. Poke him in the ribs and wake him up, maybe. Pretend it was turbulence.

Good luck getting home! And happy holidays.

Pop Culture

'Wheel of Fortune' fans left shocked after contestant wins $50,000 solving impossible puzzle

“How in the world did you solve that last one?” asked host Ryan Seacrest.

Wheel of Fortune/Youtube

That was quite impressive.

Listen, while we all love a hilarious Wheel of Fortune fail, watching an epic win can be just as entertaining. And that’s exactly what recently happened on The Wheel when a contestant named Traci Demus-Gamble made a winning puzzle solve so out-of-nowhere that it made host Ryan Seacrest jokingly check her for a hidden earpiece.

In a clip posted to the show’s YouTube account Friday, Jan. 17, Demus-Gamble waved to her husband who was standing on the sidelines before going up to the stage for her next challenge: guess a four-word “phrase.”

Demus-Gamble wasn’t off to a great start, as only two of her given letters (“T” and “E”) made it to the board. And the odds didn’t improve much after Demus-Gamble, admittedly “nervous,” gave the letters “M,” “C,” “D,” and “O” and only two of those letters showed up once on the board.

“Again, not too much more, but who knows, you’ve had a lot of good luck tonight,” Seacrest said. “Maybe it’ll strike you.”

Then, all in under ten seconds (more like in 1.5 seconds), Demus-Gamble correctly guessed, “They go way back” like it was nothing.

Watch the incredible moment below:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

As the audience cheered, Seacrest playfully circled Demus-Gamble, as though searching for an earpiece that must have fed her the winning guess. Down in the comments, people were equally floored.

“Now THAT was an amazing solve.”

“Wow! That was impressive!”

“I couldn't solve that one to save my life, but Demus-Gamble got it like it was nothing.”

“There's only one way to describe this to me: 😦”

At the end of the clip, Seacrest opened the envelope to reveal that Demus-Gamble’s puzzle solve won her $50,000, earning her a total win of $78,650. Certainly not chump change.

As for her winning strategy—Demus-Gamble assured no cheating was involved. “I just dug deep," she told Seacrest. We’ll say.

Image from YouTube video.

An emotional and strong Matt Diaz.


Matt Diaz worked extremely hard to lose 270 pounds over six years.

But his proudest moment came in March 2015 when he decided to film himself with his shirt off to prove an important point about body positivity and self-love.

Matt had lap-band surgery in 2009 at age 16.

Through the course of his weight-loss journey, Matt became passionate about promoting body positivity for people of all shapes and sizes.
before and after weight loss photos of young man

Here's Matt at 16 years old and 497 pounds versus recently after his surgery — at 22 years old and 220 pounds.

Images via Matt Diaz, used with permission.

To stay motivated, he started sharing his journey on social media, posting before-and-after photos, answering questions and giving support to followers, and even sharing his meals and favorite workouts. Six years later, Matt is down over 270 pounds and is a very active voice in the online body-positivity movement.

But in all his years of sharing his story, the one thing he's never done is showed what his body looks like after 200+ pounds of weight loss. So he uploaded the video above to show his followers his true self.

man shows excess skin post weight loss

Sharing what happens with extreme weight loss.

Images via Matt Diaz, used with permission.

man crying beside comment

Working through fear...

Images via Matt Diaz, used with permission.

man crying beside comment

Loving myself.

Images via Matt Diaz, used with permission.

man crying beside comment

Scary and important.

Images via Matt Diaz, used with permission.

Shortly after he posted the video online, originally to Tumblr, it quickly went viral and garnered thousands of shares and comments from people around the web. I was one of the thousands touched by the video, so I reached out to Matt to find out more about what motivated him and what he hopes others can take away from his story. Here's what he had to say:

Upworthy (UP): Why was it so important for you to post this video?

Matt Diaz (MD): "I'm a really big advocate for self-love and body positivity. I think it's important that we learn to love the bodies we're in, even if we don't necessarily like every little thing about them. However, in the time I'd been writing and talking about it, I'd never actually shown my excess skin to anyone. It felt dishonest somehow, to others and to myself. I couldn't tell others that I wanted them to love themselves and keep myself hidden away and ashamed of my skin."

"I know what it feels like to hate your body, and to be depressed about it, and I never want anyone to feel that way again. So, if making myself vulnerable can help one person, why not?"

UP: What's the response been like? Anything particularly unexpected?

MD:"I think that putting any opinion on the Internet will garner a certain amount of negativity and cynicism, but I haven't seen anything like that at all. I've read every comment and message since the video has gone up, literally thousands, and they're all so thoughtful.

A really surprising side-effect were the number of transgender people who've thanked me saying that they understood my struggle, even though their body-related insecurity grew from different roots. I'd never even begun to [think] of what that must be like, and the fact that my message could help even though my problems began somewhere else is really incredible.”

UP: What advice or words of encouragement do you have for someone who's struggling to love their body?

MD:"I know it's difficult, especially when you're starting out. I want you to remember that you are not the problem, certain aspects of society are the problem. You'll constantly be told that you're too heavy or too tall to be attractive, or you're not masculine or feminine enough, or that your skin isn't the right tone or your hair isn't the right color, and these people are always always always wrong.

Luckily, we're slowly starting to see these ideas get phased out by modernity. Plus-sized, un-retouched models are getting more attention in major brands, more attention is being put on the alternative scene for high fashion, it's becoming clear that these negative ideas are not going to last, though it's going to take a while."

"Understand that to love yourself is to contest the negative things that were put into your head. Every smile, tattoo, bathing suit, and crop top is a small revolution. Tell yourself you're beautiful every day, and I promise you will be."

Watch video below:

Matt's story is a personal one, but it's one we can all learn from.

I think the most important thing to take away here is that self-love takes time and is different for everyone no matter what they look like. It's also worth noting that for Matt, losing weight was an important part of his journey, but that might not be the case for everyone. Even so, our society has such incredibly high and unrealistic body standards that even many of those who do work to lose weight end up feeling uncomfortable or being shamed for not having "perfect bodies" once they've lost weight.

There's no such thing as a "perfect body" because everyone is different, which is what makes us beautiful and great! I'm glad there are people like Matt in the world who are not only willing to share their stories but also to inspire others by showing that body confidence comes in all shapes and sizes, and that everyone deserves to feel good about who they are. Here's hoping Matt's inspiring words can help others begin to love and accept themselves, no matter where they're at in their journey.


- YouTube


UPDATE: In May 2016, Diaz, who now goes by they/them pronouns, underwent skin removal surgery with top New York City Plastic Surgeon, Dr. Matthew Schulman. They had 43 pounds of excess skin removed and appeared on Schulman's show, The Doctors, for their big reveal. Keep up with Diaz and their life on Instagram where they've recently shared their wedding. Congratulations!


This story originally appeared ten years ago.

Service dogs deserve vacations, too.

Service dogs are professionals who are trained to be attentive, helpful and extremely well-behaved for their owners who rely on them for everyday living. They aren't easily distracted and have solid control over their impulses because their job performance is vital to humans who need them. No one wants a service dog going rogue.

But underneath all of that self-control and professionalism, service dogs are still dogs, as an adorable reunion on a Disney cruise ship makes delightfully clear.

Ashton McGrady is a content creator who shares her adventures with her Golden Retriever service dog, Forest, who has an affinity for Disney characters. In one video, she shows Forest choosing his own stuffy at a Disney gift shop, even putting the money on the counter to pay for it himself. But another video of Forest being reunited with his favorite character, Pluto, has people the world over feeling his joy vicariously.

Watch:

@radiantlygolden

proof that distance won’t keep the very best of friends apart ❤️🚢✨ we love you pluto!!! #servicedog #servicedogteam #disneytiktok #disneycruiseline #disneycruise #hostedbydisney

Ashton calls Forest her "best pal and lifesaver," and it's clear from her videos that they make a great team. People loved seeing the good doggo get to let loose and enjoy a romp with Pluto and how the cast member interacted with him as well.

"Those dogs are such good pups and work so hard to keep their owners safe, it’s nice to see them play for a bit ❤️"

"This is the most golden retriever golden I’ve ever seen 🥰🥰🥰"

"i just know the actor under the costume was having the best day ever."

"DID PLUTO WAG HIS OWN TAIL??? This is the best thing I’ve seen all day"

"It's like the Disney hug rule applies to dogs...but it's play with them until they are done."

The "Disney hug rule" referenced here is an apparently unofficial "rule" that DIsney cast members when dressed in character don't end a child's hug until the child let's go—basically letting the child hug the character as long as they want to. It's not an actual rule, but it's a thoughtful practice some cast members use to make sure their young guests don't leave a character meet disappointed.

For Forest, the equivalent is playing until he (or his owner—he's on the job, after all) decides he's done.

This isn't the first time Forest has had a touching reunion with Pluto. Ashton shared another video with a similar interaction—it's clear that Pluto truly is Forest's bestie.

@radiantlygolden

I just want to go back to this moment 🥹 if you’re friends with pluto and you see this, you made our entire day ♥️ #waltdisneyworld #wdw50 #epcotfestivalofthearts #festivalofthearts #epcot #charactermeetandgreet #disneytiktok #distok #servicedog #servicedogteam #servicedogsatdisney


Ashton also uses social media to educate people about service dogs, as there are a lot of misunderstandings out there about what service animals are, how they work, and where they are allowed to be.

Though service dogs and their owners will often naturally form a bond, a service dog is not a pet; it's a working animal that assists a person with disabilities or health conditions. In fact, service animals are considered medical equipment, in the same category as a wheelchair or an oxygen tank, and they are allowed to go anywhere the person they are serving would normally be allowed to go—even if other animals are not allowed. As the Americans with Disabilities Act website states: "Under the ADA, State and local governments, businesses, and nonprofit organizations that serve the public generally must allow service animals to accompany people with disabilities in all areas of the facility where the public is allowed to go."

Service dogs are sometimes confused with emotional support animals, but they are not the same thing. Service animals are trained to do specific tasks related to mitigating a person's disability, which could range from recognizing when their owner is needing medical attention to reminding them to take a medication to guiding them around an obstacle or across a street.

@radiantlygolden

If a business is not pet-friendly, they may only ask these TWO questions! note: “emotional support” is NOT considered a valid answer to question 2. thank you @Disney Parks for this great example of how it should be done. #servicedog #servicedoglife #servicedogteam #disabilitytiktok #disneyparks

There are some guidelines and laws that govern how the general public as well as private businesses should interact with service animals. First, no one should pet a service animal unless their handler specifically invites them to. Second, there are only two questions a business owner or their staff members are allowed to ask a person with a service dog: 1) Is the dog a service animal who is required because of a disability? And 2) What work or task has the dog been trained to perform? They are not allowed to ask for documentation, ask what disability the person has or ask that the dog demonstrate what they can do.

For people who need them, service animals like Forest are a vital part of living a full life. They are also working professionals who deserve a break now and then, so it's fun to see this good doggo having the time of his life with his buddy, Pluto.

You can follow Ashton on TikTok and YouTube.

Family

Baby meets his dad's twin brother in an adorable viral video

Parenting is hard. Adult twins interacting with a baby? Hilarious.

Stephen Ratpoljanakul with his twin brother and baby.


Adult twins interacting with babies is pretty hilarious.

I know firsthand because I am a dad and a twin. On my list of regrets as a dad, I'll place "not rolling video when our babies interacted with me and my identical twin" near the top of the list.

Thankfully, a dad shot some footage of his young son meeting his twin, and our lives are better because of it.

twin brothers and baby

Stephen, Reed, and Stephen's twin, Michael.

Images from Stephen Ratpojanakul's Facebook page.

Stephen Ratpojanakul (he's in the sweater ... I think) is a dad to a baby boy named Reed. Stephen also has a twin brother named Michael. When baby Reed got confused figuring out who was who, I almost expected this dude to make a cameo appearance:

First, they both wore glasses.

gif of twin dads and baby

Which is which?

YouTubehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2004Xaz2HU

Finally, they took the glasses off. Baby Reed returned to the previous station.

True story: Parenting will crush you if you don't bring your sense of humor along.

Parents know how mentally and physically exhausting the job can be. It's also a job where many of us spend an inordinate amount of time second-guessing ourselves for the decisions we make.

The immense power of laughter is a great way to relax, boost our immune systems, and relieve stress. Sometimes, we laugh to keep from crying. And other times, we just laugh because our kids are absolutely hilarious.

Judging by the laughter and giggles, it's easy to tell that the twins truly love this little boy — and it's heartwarming to see all three of them enjoying some good times together.

All it takes is a smile for parents to know "you've got this."

The video is going viral — and don't be surprised if this becomes a twin trend.

With almost 34 twins per 1,000 live births in the U.S. today, there are more genetic lookalikes in the U.S. than ever before. Be warned, tiny babies — somewhere there are some adult twins plotting to have some innocent fun at your expense.

Without further ado, here's the video:


- YouTube


This article was written by Doyin Richards and originally appeared nine years ago.




Family

7 secrets to raising awesome, functional teenagers.

Step 1: Ditch the myth that all teens are sullen, angry creatures.

All photos used here are mine, used with permission.

My beautiful teens.


I occasionally get asked by mothers of young children what the secret is to raising great teenagers.

My initial response is that I have absolutely no clue. My kids are who they are IN SPITE of having me as a mother. (The young moms don't find that answer too helpful.)

Really, the first thing that I will tell you is to disbelieve the myth that teenagers are sullen, angry creatures who slam doors and hate their parents. Some do that, but the overwhelming majority do not. Every one of my kids' friends are just as happy and fun as my kids are, so I know it's not just us.

Teenagers are incredible. They are funny, smart, eager to please, and up for just about anything as long as food is involved. They have the most generous hearts and want desperately to be loved and validated. They are quirky and messy and have the best sense of humor.

Smiling teenagers

Bright smiles on the couch.

All photos used here are mine, used with permission.

So, here is my list of "rules" for raising teens. These are the secrets we have found to be successful.

1. Love them fiercely.

Love everything about them, even the annoying stuff. Love them for their actions AND their intentions. Let them know in word and deed how much you adore them. Daily. Love their wrinkled shirts and Axe-body-spray-covered selves. Love their bad handwriting and pimpled cheeks. Love their scattered brains and long limbs. All these seemingly insignificant details are an amazing, magical process at work. It's like being witness to the miracle of a diamond mid-formation. All this imperfection is going to one day yield a responsible, serious adult. A loving husband and father. Or a wonderful wife and mother. It's a privilege to be witness to such glorious growth.

See your teenagers as a privilege, don't see them as a burden. They're more perceptive than you can imagine. How you feel about them will be no secret. So just love ‘em.

2. Listen and pay attention.

When they walk in the door after school, you have a precious few minutes when they will divulge the secrets of their day with you. Be excited to see them. Put down the cell phone. Don't waste this time making dinner or taking a phone call. Look them in the eye and hear what they are saying. Make their victories your victories. Be empathetic. It is really hard to navigate high school and middle school. Don't offer advice at this time unless they ask for it. Don't lecture. Just listen. It makes them feel important and valued. We all need to feel that way.

3. Say yes more than you say no.

The world is forever going to tell them no. For the rest of their lives, they will be swimming in a stormy sea with wave after wave of "you're not good enough" and "you can't do this" crashing down on their heads. If nothing else, I want to be the opposite voice in their lives for as long as I can. I want to instill in them the belief that they are not limited and they can do anything if they're willing to work hard enough for it. I want to be the YES, YOU CAN in their lives. I want them to leave my house every day feeling invincible.

4. Say no often.

You need to say no to experiences and situations that will set your child up for harm or unhappiness. Don't let them go to the parties where they will be forced to make a choice about alcohol at age 16 in front of their peers . Don't let them stay out until three in the morning with a member of the opposite sex. Be the parent. Set up rules for their safety, both physical and moral. You would think this rule goes without saying, but we have known a shockingly large number of parents who don’t.

5. Feed them. A lot.

And not only them, but their friends too. These bodies are growing and developing at an astonishing rate and need fuel to do so — most of which they prefer to be loaded with processed sugar and hydrogenated-something-or-others. When their friends know your pantry is stocked to the gills with treats, they will beg your kid to hang out at your place. This allows you to not only meet and know their friends, but to keep an eye on your teen as well.


6. Don't sweat the small stuff.

When living with teenagers, it can be so easy to see the backpack dropped in the middle of the living room as laziness. Or the bedroom scattered with dirty clothes as irresponsible. Instead, and before you open your mouth to yell at them, put yourself in their shoes. Find out about their day first. Maybe they are feeling beaten down, and they just need to unwind for a minute and tell you about it. Ignore the mess for a bit and put your arms around that big, sweaty kid and give him a hug. Talk to him about his world. Find out what he did, wants to do, and dreams of doing. THEN, and only then, ask him to pick it up and put it away.

That being said, do I completely ignore the state of my boys' bedrooms all the time? No, I do not. But I pick my battles, and I pick the appropriate time to fight them. Once every seven to 10 days or so, I tell them their bedrooms need to be picked up. Which they do happily because it's not the running loop of a nagging mom. They know when I ask, it needs to be done.

7. Stand back and watch the magic happen.

Teens making silly poses

Having a funny picture taken.

All photos used here are mine, used with permission.

If you let them, these glorious creatures will open their hearts and love you more fiercely than you could possibly imagine. They are brilliant, capable, strong spirits who bring with them a flurry of happiness. They are hilarious and clever. They are thoughtful and sensitive. They want us to adore them. They need us to adore them. They love deeply and are keenly in touch with the feelings of others.

They are just about the greatest gift God gave to parents.


This article was written by Christie Halversson and originally appeared six years ago.