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5 important things men can learn from Jack of 'This Is Us.'

It's the story of "the big three," a set of triplets (a biological brother and sister, and their adopted brother), and the two parents, Jack and Rebecca, who shaped their adult lives.

"This Is Us" is the shamefully, unapologetically tear-jerking NBC hit that has millions tuning in every week to ugly-cry together, and it just wrapped its first season.

The show isn't always perfect, but is thoughtful in its portrayal of characters we're not used to seeing — maybe none more so than Jack Pearson, the dutiful and selfless dad of the family.

Milo Ventimiglia plays Jack. Photo by NBCUniversal Media, LLC.

"This Is Us" — though good at sprinkling in humor here and there — is not a comedy. Jack is not obligated to be funny, which likely is part of the reason he's been spared from becoming the buffoonish dad we're used to seeing in TV and movies.

It's not just that (and the fact his mustache/beard are #goals) that makes Jack such a compelling character. There are (at least) five things that make Jack a pretty damn good model of masculinity in an age where being a blustering, blathering "alpha male" can get you pretty far.

By the way, no spoilers for the season finale here. (But if you don't already know that Jack does not live to grow old with Rebecca, where have you even been for the last three months?)

1. He doesn't apologize for showing a full range of human emotions.

When we first meet Jack in the series' pilot episode, he is a man in total control. When he and a pregnant Rebecca arrive at the hospital, the babies on their way, the doctor warns them the risks during delivery will be high.

"We're walking out of this hospital with three healthy babies and a healthy wife," Jack reassures the doctor while also supporting Rebecca during contractions.

Unfortunately, the third baby, a little boy, is stillborn. When Jack gets the news, he breaks down in tears in the waiting room, before ultimately deciding to bring home Randall, an abandoned baby being treated at the same hospital.

It's not the last time we see Jack's emotional vulnerability. Because, you know what? It's OK for dudes to cry.

2. He's fiercely loyal to his family.

Yes, Jack is the main breadwinner for the family, but it's not what makes him a man. It's dedication that goes far beyond just working long hours.

For example, there’s a secretary at work constantly batting her eyes at him, and in one episode, she finally makes a move. He turns her down with ease, and frankly, the show doesn't make a big deal of it. Jack doesn’t get any hero points for remaining faithful, as he shouldn’t. Jack proves real men can be complex beings with morals and values that aren't based around sex.

It also becomes clear later in the series Jack was the one who pushed for marriage and children with Rebecca, a nice change of pace from the commitment-allergic men we're used to seeing on TV.

"To me, you are every part my son." GIF from "This Is Us"/YouTube.

3. He's a great, great, great dad.

A lot of TV dads love their kids and will show it through goofy hijinks, roughhousing, or gruffly bonding over sports. But not Jack. He handles the tough stuff too.

Like who could forget the time he stayed up all night sewing Madonna gloves for his daughter's birthday party and, when things didn't go as planned, tried to cheer her up by asking her to teach him how to "vogue"?

In one of his best moments, though, Jack realizes he as a white man can't be the only role model in his black son's life, so he takes him to an all-black karate class where he can learn how to face the difficulties that come with being a man of color.

4. He's a true romantic.

TV and movies are rife with dunderheaded men forgetting birthdays and anniversaries, scrambling around to cover their tracks with thoughtless, last-minute gestures. Not Jack. In one episode, he rents his and Rebecca's now-vacant first apartment for a night, fills it with candles and champagne, and challenges the both of them to never forget the things they love about each other.

He constantly finds time and energy to make his wife (and his kids, for that matter) feel special, loved, and appreciated.

Doesn't get much more manly than that.

"Rebecca, you have changed the way I think about love." GIF from "This Is Us"/YouTube

5. Despite all of these things, Jack is a flawed man.

Throughout much of the series, Jack seems perfect. Rebecca even describes him as a "superhero" more than once.

But Jack battles with a drinking problem. Later, he has trouble reigning in his jealousy of another man in Rebecca's life. He occasionally crumbles under the weight of being the family’s rock.

Through it all, Jack needs his wife, and he knows it. In these moments, it's Rebecca who picks him up and helps him be a better man.

Because no matter how "manly" you are, no one can do it all alone.

"From now on, I'm going to be an 11 [out of 10] for you, baby." GIF from "This Is Us"/YouTube.

We know Jack dies before his kids are grown, but with the show's jump-around timeline, let's hope he shows up plenty in season two.

After all, he still has a lot more to teach us dudes about what it really means to be a man.

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Gen Zer asks Gen X how they got around without GPS and the answers are perfectly accurate

"We're old. Older than Google, too."

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Gen Zer asks how people got around without GPS, Gen X responds

It's easy to forget what life was like before cell phones fit in your pocket and Google could tell you the meaning of life in less than .2 seconds. Gen Z is the first generation to be born after technology began to move faster than most people can blink. They never had to deal with the slow speeds and loud noises of dial up internet.

In fact, most people that fall in the Gen Z category have no idea that their parents burned music on a CD thinking that was peak mix tape technology. Oh, how wrong they were. Now songs live in a cloud but somehow come out of your phone without having to purchase the entire album or wait until the radio station plays the song so you can record it.

But Gen Z has never lived that struggle so the idea of things they consider to be basic parts of life not existing are baffling to them. One self professed Gen Zer, Aneisha, took to social media to ask a question that has been burning on her mind–how did people travel before GPS?

Now, if you're older than Gen Z–whose oldest members are just 27 years old–then you likely know the answer to the young whippersnapper's question. But even some Millennials had trouble answering Aneisha's question as several people matter of factly pointed to Mapquest. A service that requires–you guessed it, the internet.

Aneisha asks in her video, "Okay, serious question. How did people get around before the GPS? Like, did you guys actually pull a map and like draw lines to your destination? But then how does that work when you're driving by yourself, trying to hold up the map and drive? I know it's Gen Z of me but I kind of want to know."

@aneishaaaaaaaaaaa I hope this reaches the right people, i want to know
♬ original sound - aneishaaaaaaa

These are legitimate questions for someone who has never known life without GPS. Even when most Millennials were starting to drive, they had some form of internet to download turn-by-turn directions, so it makes sense that the cohort between Gen Z and Gen X would direct Aneisha to Mapquest. But there was a time before imaginary tiny pirates lived inside of computer screens to point you in the right direction and tales from those times are reserved for Gen X.

The generation known for practically raising themselves chimed in, not only to sarcastically tell Millennials to sit down but to set the record straight on what travel was like before the invention of the internet. Someone clearly unamused by younger folks' suggestion shares, "The people saying mapquest. There was a time before the internet kids."

Others are a little more helpful, like one person who writes, "You mentally note landmarks, intersections. Pretty easy actually," they continue. "stop at a gas station, open map in the store, ($4.99), put it back (free)."

"Believe it or not, yes we did use maps back then. We look at it before we leave, then take small glances to see what exits to take," someone says, which leaves Aneisha in disbelief, replying, "That's crazyy, I can't even read a map."

"Pulled over and asked the guy at the gas station," one person writes as another chimes in under the comment, "and then ask the guy down the street to make sure you told me right."

Imagine being a gas station attendant in the 90s while also being directionally challenged. Was that part of the hiring process, memorizing directions for when customers came in angry or crying because they were lost? Not knowing where you were going before the invention of the internet was also a bit of a brain exercise laced with exposure therapy for those with anxiety. There were no cell phones so if you were lost no one who cared about you would know until you could find a payphone to check in.

The world is so overly connected today that the idea of not being able to simply share your location with loved ones and "Ask Siri" when you've gotten turned around on your route seems dystopian. But in actuality, if you took a few teens from 1993 and plopped them into 2024 they'd think they were living inside of a sci-fi movie awaiting aliens to invade.

Technology has made our lives infinitely easier and nearly unrecognizable from the future most could've imagined before the year 2000, so it's not Gen Z's fault that they're unaware of how the "before times" were. They're simply a product of their generation.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Mental Health

Do you have RSD? How to combat the rejection disorder that many unknowingly live with

Everything doesn't have to be taken personally but RSD may make you believe it does.

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Many people live with RSD but have no idea, this can help

RSD is a disorder that many still don't know exists, even though they may be impacted by it personally or know someone who is. The acronym stands for Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria and while it's not yet formally recognized by the American Psychiatric Association, many clinicians treat clients who display the symptoms.

RSD typically impacts people with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and Autism Spectrum Disorder to varying degrees. It's called a dysphoria because in involved perceived rejection which oftentimes results in extreme feelings of unease. The rejection isn't always happening but a person with RSD has a heightened sensitivity to being rejected so until they receive reassurance, they can become tearful or anxious.

During a moment of RSD someone may cry, tremble, breathe heavily or even have a full blown panic attack at the rejection or fear of rejection. The person that might have triggered the response likely never witnesses the full reaction as the initial response can look like anger or suddenly going silent. So what triggers someone's RSD? It's not always rejection in the traditional sense.

Pop Tv No GIF by Schitt's CreekGiphy

Cherry, a mom with RSD shares a video of what it looks like when she's struggling with the disorder and things that can trigger it for her.

"This is what rejection sensitivity dysphoria (rsd) looks like: you shake, you sweat, you cry and you can't think of anything but the perceived or real rejection/judgement. This happens every time you feel judged, disliked, excluded, rejected, disagreed with or disapproved of causing an intense fear of rejection," Cherry shares via text overlay before showing how badly her hands are trembling.


@cherry.adhd this was hard in so many different ways. 1 to film and edit but 2 to experience yet again. this is very vulnerable but I hope posting it will make some of you feel less alone and hopefully one step closer to healing and feeling better because I know you've got this. you deserve to love yourself regardless of what other people think ❤️ #adhdinwomen #rsd #rejectionsensitivedysphoria #adhdrsd #adhdmentalhealth ♬ Escapism. - Super Sped Up - RAYE

Because people who live with RSD feel rejection so strongly, they can start to avoid interactions with others in an attempt to avoid rejection. To outside eyes, this may appear to be social anxiety or introversion, but in reality many crave connection with others but are afraid they may be rejected.

Avoiding interacting with other people doesn't always end at social interactions with friends, this can also impact jobs, dating or communicating with other parents if the person has children. But avoidance isn't the only response people with RSD have. They can also become overly accommodating, otherwise known as "people pleasers." In order to avoid the sting of rejection, some people with the condition will work really hard to do things that make other people happy with them even if it's to their own detriment.

The Office I Give Up GIFGiphy

They can develop low self-esteem, an inferiority complex, perfectionism and negative self-talk. This disorder is suspected to be genetic and neurologically linked to ADHD, it can be compounded upon by a buildup of feelings of rejection from childhood. The overcorrection of behaviors that are typical of children with undiagnosed or untreated ADHD. Kids with ADHD can also experience painful rejection from their peers who deem their behaviors "weird" or "rude," like the constant need to move or excessive verbal interruptions.

Playing Happy Children GIF by MOODMANGiphy

Children can internalize the constant correction from caregivers and the negative response from peers as rejection to natural parts of themselves. These small moments continue to add up over a person's lifetime which can add to symptoms of RSD as an adult. But there are a few things people can try on their own to reduce or shorten their symptoms.

1. Therapy

Individual therapy with a therapist trained in treating people with ADHD can help you develop skills to use in the moment. Don't be afraid to shop around to find he right fit for you.

2. Grounding exercises

When you're experiencing moments of RSD, your body feels very dysregulated. Try doing box breathing to help calm your nervous system. You do that by breathing in through your nose for four counts, hold for four, then out through your mouth for four counts. Repeat as often as you need in order to feel regulated.

Lay Down Round Table GIF by DiscipleGiphy

3. Thought stopping

Thought stopping can come in many forms, some people like to visualize a stop sign while others use a stimuli like the snapping of a rubber band on their wrist. This helps to break the negative thought pattern giving you time to utilize a coping skill.

4. Positive self-talk

The best way to combat negative-self talk is to actively shift it to positive self-talk. If your brain is saying everyone hates you, drown it out by pointing out how likable you are. It sounds and feels silly at first but it's effective.

5. Ask

If you just can't stop ruminating on if someone is upset with you or is no longer interested in being your friend, you can take a deep breath and ask. Will it be scary? Yes. Are you already holding back tears from the feeling of rejection that may or may not have occurred? If the answer is yes, asking will give you a definitive answer. Have ice cream and tissues on standby, but chances are you won't need them.

This article was written by Jacalyn Wetzel, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and practicing therapist.

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Joy

London man finds a mysterious egg, incubates it, and launches a Pixar-worthy journey of love

When Riyadh found an abandoned egg, he had no idea that it would change his life.

Courtesy of Riyadh Khalaf/Instagram (used with permission)

When Riyadh found an egg, he had no idea how much it would change his life.

The story of Riyadh and Spike starts like the opening to a children's book: "One day, a man was walking along and spotted a lone egg where an egg should not have been…" And between that beginning and the story's mostly sweet ending is a beautiful journey of curiosity, care, and connection that has captivated people all over the world.

Irish author Riyadh Khalaf was out walking in Devon, England, when he came upon an egg. "We just found what we think is a duck egg," Riyadh says in a video showing the milky white egg sitting in a pile of dirt. "Just sitting here on its own. No nest. No other eggs."

Thinking there was no way it was going to survive on its own, Riyadh put the egg in a paper cup cushioned with a napkin and took it home to London, which entailed two car rides, a hotel stay, a train ride, a tube ride, and a bus ride. He said he used to breed chickens and pigeons, so he had some experience with birds. Knowing the egg could survive for a while in a dormant state, he ordered an incubator on Amazon, and the journey to see if the egg was viable began.

Even though it was "just an egg," Riyadh quickly became attached, and once it showed signs of life he took on the role of "duck dad." Every day, the egg showed a drastic change in development, and Riyadh's giddy joy at each new discovery—movement, a discernible eye, a beak outline—was palpable. He devoured information on ducks to learn as much as he could about the baby he was (hopefully) about to hatch and care for.

Finally, 28 days later, the shell of the egg began to crack. "I could see this very clear outline of the most gorgeous little round bill," Riyadh said—confirmation that it was, indeed, a duck as he had suspected. But duckling hatching is a process, and one they have to do it on their own. Ducklings instinctively know to turn the egg as it hatches so that the umbilical cord detaches, and the whole process can take up to 48 hours. Riyadh watched and monitored until he finally fell asleep, but at 4:51am, 29 hours after the egg had started to hatch, he awakened to the sound of tweets.

"There was just this little wet alien staring back at me," he said. "It was love at first sight."

Riyadh named his rescue duckling Spike. Once Spike was ready to leave the incubator, he moved into "Duckingham Palace," a setup with all of the things he would need to grow into a healthy, self-sufficient duck—including things that contribute to his mental health. (Apparently ducklings can die from poor mental health, which can happen when they don't have other ducks to interact with—who knew?)

"My son shall not only survive, but he shall thrive!" declared the proud papa.

Riyadh knew it would be impossible for Spike to not imprint on him somewhat, but he didn't want him to see him as his mother. Riyadh set up mirrors so that Spike could see another duckling (even though it was just himself) and used a surrogate stuffed duck to teach him how to do things like eat food with his beak. He used a duck whistle and hid his face from Spike while feeding him, and he played duck sounds on his computer to accustom Spike to the sounds of his species.

"It's just such a fulfilling process to watch a small being learn," said Riyadh.

As Spike grew, Riyadh took him to the park to get him accustomed to the outdoors and gave him opportunities to swim in a small bath. He learned to forage and do all the things a duck needs to do. Throughout, Riyadh made sure that Spike was getting the proper balanced nutrition he needed as well. Check this out:


After 89 days, the day finally came for Spike to leave Riyadh's care and be integrated into a community of his kind "to learn how to properly be a duck." A rehabilitation center welcomed him in and he joined a flock in an open-air facility where he would be able to choose whether to stay or to leave once he became accustomed to flying. Within a few weeks of being at the rehabilitation center, his signature mallard colors developed, marking his transition from adolescence. Spike has been thriving with his flock, and Riyadh was even able to share video of his first flight.

This is the where "And they all lived happily ever after" would be a fitting end to the story, but unfortunately, Spike and his fowl friends are living in trying times. The rehabilitation center was notified by the U.K. government in December of 2024 that the duck flock needed to be kept indoors for the time being to protect them from a bird flu outbreak and keep it from spreading.

Building an entire building for a flock of ducks is not a simple or cheap task, so Riyadh called on his community of "daunties" and "duncles" who had been following Spike's story to help with a fundraiser to build a "Duckingham Palace" for the whole flock. Riyadh's followers quickly raised over £11,000, which made a huge difference for the center's owners to be able to protect Spike and his friends.

All in all, Riyadh and Spike's story is a testament to what can happen when people genuinely care. If Riyadh had left that egg where it was, it may not have made it. If Spike hadn't survived and been moved to the rehab center, the ducks there would be in greater danger of the bird flu due to the costs of building an indoor shelter for them. Despite the ongoing bird flu threat, the story really does have a happy ending.

Thank to Riyadh for sharing Spike's journey with us. (You can follow Riyadh on Instagram here.)

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Education

One word that explains why the world feels 'deeply off' for so many people

There's a term for this collective feeling so many of us are experience.

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If your'e feeling a disconnect, you're not alone.

Many of us, for many reasons, are feeling a deep sense of disconnection between what is happening in the world around us, and how society acknowledges those events…or doesn’t. Whether it’s about climate change or our current political regime or whether or not we’re using technology ethically, there’s this viscerally felt notion that old systems are no longer working. All the while, life seems to be going on as normal. Which can be as crazy-making as any other type of gaslighting.

For those that are feeling this way, that something is deeply off with the world,” author and digital anthropologist Rahaf Harfoush says “you’re not alone.” and inf act, there’s actually a name for this collective feeling. It’s called hypernormalization.

As Harfoush explained in an Instagram video, hypernormalization was a term first coined by historian Alexei Yurchak in his 2005 book Everything Was Forever, Until It Was No More: The Last Soviet Generation. In it, Yurchak described the paradox of living in the Soviet Union before its dissolution in 1991, when everyone knew the system was failing, but since no one could imagine a possible alternative to the status quo, politicians and citizens alike were resigned to maintaining the pretense of a functioning society. Sound familiar?

Years later, filmmaker Adam Curtis took this concept and ran with it for his 2016 BBC documentary, aptly titled HyperNormalisation, which essentially argued that this time period—and events like the rise of Trumpism, Brexit, the War in Syria, and more—was a self fulfilling prophecy of sorts, causing world leaders to give up on trying to reshape the world, and opt instead to establish a similar, albeit “fake” world for the benefit of corporations.

The documentary also posited that the West’s fixation on individualism played its own part in this. By and large people are too concerned with themselves to worry of the greater reality unfolding behind the scenes. The combination results in inexplicable, chaotic events that keep happening, which are either denied, are accepted as normal. Again, this might hit close to home.

Hypernormalisation, Hypernormalisation documentary, documentaryStill from HypernormalisationThe Guardian

As Harfoush explains, hypernormalization today looks a lot like “the disconnect between seeing that systems are failing, that things aren’t working, that structures are crumbling, that society is going through these massive shifts, and yet the institutions and the people that are in power just are like ignoring it and are pretending like everything is going to go on the way that it has.”

“We all know that that’s not true, so you are feeling the discomfort between what you know to be true and how you’re seeing people react to it,” she concluded, reassuring that, “your vibes are not off. Your instincts are not off. There’s a term for it. You’re welcome.”

This insight doesn’t necessarily solve the issue, but it can certainly help us begin seeing things a little more objectively. After all, change doesn’t happen without first exposing the absurdity for what it is.

By the way, you can watch the full version of Curtis’ HyperNormalisation documentary on Youtube.

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Service dog sees his favorite character on a Disney cruise and utterly loses his cool

Pure. Joy.

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Service dogs deserve vacations, too.

Service dogs are professionals who are trained to be attentive, helpful and extremely well-behaved for their owners who rely on them for everyday living. They aren't easily distracted and have solid control over their impulses because their job performance is vital to humans who need them. No one wants a service dog going rogue.

But underneath all of that self-control and professionalism, service dogs are still dogs, as an adorable reunion on a Disney cruise ship makes delightfully clear.

Ashton McGrady is a content creator who shares her adventures with her Golden Retriever service dog, Forest, who has an affinity for Disney characters. In one video, she shows Forest choosing his own stuffy at a Disney gift shop, even putting the money on the counter to pay for it himself. But another video of Forest being reunited with his favorite character, Pluto, has people the world over feeling his joy vicariously.

Watch:

@radiantlygolden

proof that distance won’t keep the very best of friends apart ❤️🚢✨ we love you pluto!!! #servicedog #servicedogteam #disneytiktok #disneycruiseline #disneycruise #hostedbydisney

Ashton calls Forest her "best pal and lifesaver," and it's clear from her videos that they make a great team. People loved seeing the good doggo get to let loose and enjoy a romp with Pluto and how the cast member interacted with him as well.

"Those dogs are such good pups and work so hard to keep their owners safe, it’s nice to see them play for a bit ❤️"

"This is the most golden retriever golden I’ve ever seen 🥰🥰🥰"

"i just know the actor under the costume was having the best day ever."

"DID PLUTO WAG HIS OWN TAIL??? This is the best thing I’ve seen all day"

"It's like the Disney hug rule applies to dogs...but it's play with them until they are done."

The "Disney hug rule" referenced here is an apparently unofficial "rule" that DIsney cast members when dressed in character don't end a child's hug until the child let's go—basically letting the child hug the character as long as they want to. It's not an actual rule, but it's a thoughtful practice some cast members use to make sure their young guests don't leave a character meet disappointed.

For Forest, the equivalent is playing until he (or his owner—he's on the job, after all) decides he's done.

This isn't the first time Forest has had a touching reunion with Pluto. Ashton shared another video with a similar interaction—it's clear that Pluto truly is Forest's bestie.

@radiantlygolden

I just want to go back to this moment 🥹 if you’re friends with pluto and you see this, you made our entire day ♥️ #waltdisneyworld #wdw50 #epcotfestivalofthearts #festivalofthearts #epcot #charactermeetandgreet #disneytiktok #distok #servicedog #servicedogteam #servicedogsatdisney


Ashton also uses social media to educate people about service dogs, as there are a lot of misunderstandings out there about what service animals are, how they work, and where they are allowed to be.

Though service dogs and their owners will often naturally form a bond, a service dog is not a pet; it's a working animal that assists a person with disabilities or health conditions. In fact, service animals are considered medical equipment, in the same category as a wheelchair or an oxygen tank, and they are allowed to go anywhere the person they are serving would normally be allowed to go—even if other animals are not allowed. As the Americans with Disabilities Act website states: "Under the ADA, State and local governments, businesses, and nonprofit organizations that serve the public generally must allow service animals to accompany people with disabilities in all areas of the facility where the public is allowed to go."

Service dogs are sometimes confused with emotional support animals, but they are not the same thing. Service animals are trained to do specific tasks related to mitigating a person's disability, which could range from recognizing when their owner is needing medical attention to reminding them to take a medication to guiding them around an obstacle or across a street.

@radiantlygolden

If a business is not pet-friendly, they may only ask these TWO questions! note: “emotional support” is NOT considered a valid answer to question 2. thank you @Disney Parks for this great example of how it should be done. #servicedog #servicedoglife #servicedogteam #disabilitytiktok #disneyparks

There are some guidelines and laws that govern how the general public as well as private businesses should interact with service animals. First, no one should pet a service animal unless their handler specifically invites them to. Second, there are only two questions a business owner or their staff members are allowed to ask a person with a service dog: 1) Is the dog a service animal who is required because of a disability? And 2) What work or task has the dog been trained to perform? They are not allowed to ask for documentation, ask what disability the person has or ask that the dog demonstrate what they can do.

For people who need them, service animals like Forest are a vital part of living a full life. They are also working professionals who deserve a break now and then, so it's fun to see this good doggo having the time of his life with his buddy, Pluto.

You can follow Ashton on TikTok and YouTube.

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