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4 Shockingly Simple Rules That Could Keep Lots Of Teenaged Boys From Committing Rape

Instead of teaching girls how to not get raped ("don't wear this," "don't ever drink," etc.), what if we went to the root of the problem and raised boys to know the ins and outs of consent?*

Joy

5 things that made us smile this week

Grab your tissues and read some seriously good news.

Grab your tissues and get ready for some seriously good news.

True

After a harrowing election season, we could all use an emotional pick-me-up. Thankfully, the internet never fails to deliver. Check out five uplifting stories we’ve found that made us smile this week.

Enjoy—and don't forget to share the love!

1. This toddler's adorable reaction

@vita.paskar This is when things start to get exciting 🥹 when they begin to understand! #fyp #christmas #target #toddler ♬ Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree - Brenda Lee

Victoria Paskar’s son Ellis had just been born last December, so when it came to appreciating the magic of the holiday season, it wasn't something he was really able to do. This year, however, that’s changed: In an adorable TikTok video, Paskar caught the moment when Ellis (now a toddler) notices the lit-up trees and holiday decorations. So magical and pure in every way.

2. More meals for seniors in need

Subaru - Share the Love Event and Meals on Wheels

Hunger is a national problem, and one that Subaru is helping to fix. Thanks to the Subaru Share the Love Event, Subaru has delivered more than 4.6 million meals and friendly visits to seniors facing hunger and isolation. Since 2008, Subaru is the largest automotive donor to Meals on Wheels—and they’re just getting started. With every new Subaru sale, Subaru and its retailers donate at least $300 to charities like Meals on Wheels.

3. This five-year-old piano prodigy brings down the house with Mozart

Alberto Cartuccia Cingolani wows audiences with his amazing musical talents.Pianoforte/Facebook

A clip of a five-year-old performing at the 10th International Music Competition in Italy is now going viral, and it’s no surprise why. To little to even reach the pedals with his feet, Alberto Cartuccia Cingolani still wows the audience with a masterful performance of a Mozart piece. According to his mother, Alberto had participated in seven national and international music competitions and won first place in all of them, all by the time he was four and a half. It’s like he’s channeling Amadeus himself.

4. An adopted man reunites with his bio mom and forms a "sweet" connection

Lenore Lindsey and Vamarr HunterABC 7 / YouTube

When 50-year-old Vamarr Hunter decided to take a genealogy test to find his biological mother, he had no idea how close he had already been to finding her. After a genealogy test, Hunter discovered that his mother, Lenore Lindsey, who had given him up for adoption as an infant, was actually the owner of “Give Me Some Sugar” in South Shore Chicago—Hunter’s favorite bakery. The two experienced an “immediate connection” after meeting, and after Lindsey suffered a stroke, Hunter stepped in to manage the bakery full-time. No, you’re crying.

5. A teacher uses AI to inspire her classroom

Now this is wholesome: An elementary teacher in Turkey named Gülümser Balci used artificial intelligence to create images of her students as their future selves in their dream jobs. Each kid is shocked and delighted to see themselves as adults, living out their dreams.

For more things that'll make you smile, check out all the ways Subaru is sharing the love this holiday season, here.

via TheEllenShow / YouTube

Mark Wahlberg on "The Ellen Show."

Four years ago, actor Mark Wahlberg attended a daddy-daughter dance with his then 10-year-old, Grace. Sadly, Grace had no interest in seeing her father strutting his stuff on the dance floor. "I didn't get one dance," Wahlberg told Ellen DeGeneres. "And I told her we were going to do the whole big circle and I was going to go off. And she said, 'Dad, if you embarrass me, I will never talk to you again.' But what she did do is she hung out with me."

No matter who your dad is, especially if you're a 10-year-old-girl, you have zero desire to see him dance in front of your friends. But the parents at the dance probably would have had a blast seeing Wahlberg bust out some of his old-school '90s Marky Mark moves. However, Wahlberg couldn't help but leave his mark on the music being played at the dance.

Let's not forget, he didn't get famous for his acting but for showing off his abs in the "Good Vibrations" video.

Being that Wahlberg's time as a pop star was three decades ago, he couldn't believe it when he heard the music being played at the dance.

"[Grace] sat there on the edge of the stage, by the DJ. And then I'm sitting there with one other dad and I'm like, 'This is not an edited version of this song. There are explicit lyrics being played at a school dance for girls and I'm like no good,'" he said.

"I told the DJ and he's like, 'Oh, I thought it was.' I said, 'What are you doing?' I'm hearing F-bombs and this and that's not okay," Wahlberg said.

He's right. There's no place for music with explicit lyrics at a dance for 10-year-old children.

Wahlberg says the DJ didn't know he wasn't playing the edited version, but it's probably more likely that he didn't even realize the song was a problem. Pop music these days is filled with a numbing amount of violent and misogynistic lyrics.

A recent study from the University of Missouri found that nearly one-third of pop songs contain lyrics that degrade or demean women by portraying them as submissive or sexually objectified.

Currently, three of the top five songs on the Billboard Top 40 contain the word "bitch." One of them is sung in Korean.

It's odd that Americans have become more sensitive to misogyny in pop culture in films, television, and comedy, but still have a huge cultural blind-spot when it comes to music.

That's not a good thing, especially when pop music is marketed to teenagers.

"We know that music has a strong impact on young people and how they view their role in society," said Cynthia Frisby, a professor in the Missouri School of Journalism.

"Unlike rap or hip-hop, pop music tends to have a bubbly, uplifting sound that is meant to draw listeners in," Frisby continued. "But that can be problematic if the lyrics beneath the sound are promoting violence and misogynistic behavior."

Let's face it, pop stars are role models. Their examples show young people what to wear and how to behave. That's not to say that kids will blindly follow someone just because they like their music. But it has an undeniable effect.

Wahlberg, and any parent who monitors what their kids are listening to, deserve credit for protecting the minds and hearts of their kids.

Frisby has some great advice for parents concerned about negative imagery in pop music.

"Ask your daughters and sons what songs they like to listen to and have conversations about how the songs might impact their identity," Frisby said.

"For example, many songs might make young girls feel like they have to look and act provocative in order to get a boy to like them, when that isn't necessarily the case. If children and teens understand that what they are hearing isn't healthy behavior, then they might be more likely to challenge what they hear on the radio."

He's right. There's no place for music with explicit lyrics at a dance for 10-year-old children.

Wahlberg says the DJ didn't know he wasn't playing the edited version, but it's probably more likely that he didn't even realize the song was a problem. Pop music these days is filled with a numbing amount of violent and misogynistic lyrics.

A recent study from the University of Missouri found that nearly one-third of pop songs contain lyrics that degrade or demean women by portraying them as submissive or sexually objectified.

Currently, three of the top five songs on the Billboard Top 40 contain the word "bitch." One of them is sung in Korean.

It's odd that Americans have become more sensitive to misogyny in pop culture in films, television, and comedy, but still have a huge cultural blind-spot when it comes to music.

That's not a good thing, especially when pop music is marketed to teenagers.

"We know that music has a strong impact on young people and how they view their role in society," said Cynthia Frisby, a professor in the Missouri School of Journalism.

"Unlike rap or hip-hop, pop music tends to have a bubbly, uplifting sound that is meant to draw listeners in," Frisby continued. "But that can be problematic if the lyrics beneath the sound are promoting violence and misogynistic behavior."

Let's face it, pop stars are role models. Their examples show young people what to wear and how to behave. That's not to say that kids will blindly follow someone just because they like their music. But it has an undeniable effect.

Wahlberg, and any parent who monitors what their kids are listening to, deserve credit for protecting the minds and hearts of their kids.

Frisby has some great advice for parents concerned about negative imagery in pop music.

"Ask your daughters and sons what songs they like to listen to and have conversations about how the songs might impact their identity," Frisby said.

"For example, many songs might make young girls feel like they have to look and act provocative in order to get a boy to like them, when that isn't necessarily the case. If children and teens understand that what they are hearing isn't healthy behavior, then they might be more likely to challenge what they hear on the radio."


This article originally appeared four years ago.

Babies can recognize 'good guys' early on according to research

It's often said that babies and dogs recognize people that may not have the best intentions. A dog may bark incessantly while a baby may become fussy and keep reaching for their safe person while in the presence of someone they deem as unsafe. This is assumed to be a sort of inherent trait and while it's difficult to accurately measure intuition, researchers have tried to pinpoint if infants can recognize good vs bad.

Over 14 years ago researchers were curious on if babies could pick out the "good guy" and if their preference would be for representation of the good guy or the bad guy. Of course since these were literal infants, there was no way to ask the babies why they chose the way they did but there was enough data for them to see that babies actually preferred the "good character" over the bad one.

In the experiment, babies watch a puppet show that involve characters that are essentially just shapes with googly eyes glued onto them. The red circle is tying to climb up a hill but keeps falling down, that's when the blue square appears and helps the circle climb the hill by giving him a boost from behind, securing the red circle at the top of the hill. On the next try to get up the hill, the red circle is met by a yellow triangle that sees its fellow shape trying to climb the hill but instead of helping, the triangle pushes the circle back down. Kind of rude but okay.

toddler playing with two wooden blocks Photo by Jelleke Vanooteghem on Unsplash

The babies, some as young as 6 months are facing away from their parents so they can't see their reaction, the researchers then bring out replicas of the characters and asks the baby to pick one. Before the babies see their friendly neighborhood shapes, the researchers tell the parents to close their eyes as to not accidentally influence which shape the baby choses. In nearly every instance the infant chose the character that was deemed the helper proving that babies can differentiate between good social behaviors and bad social behaviors.

This experiment has been replicated multiple times with two being unable to replicate the results at the same high rate though the babies still chose the helper more than the hinderer. Other attempts at replicating the results were much more successful confirming that babies do choose the "good guy" over the "bad guy."

baby in grey and black camouflage onesie lying on bed Photo by Marcin Jozwiak on Unsplash

Recently a video of one of the experiments resurfaced on social media showing the preference for the "helper," but in this video, the helper character was the yellow triangle and the bad guy or the hinderer character was the blue square. This led people to believe that the babies were simply picking the character that was more brightly colored, assuming that if the roles were reversed they would still pick the yellow character.


@medspired The moral life of babies (part 1) | ‘Hill Paradigm’ (2007) by J. Kiley Hamlin, Ph.D. & colleagues via The Infant Cognition Centre at Yale Infants as early as 6 months might prefer an individual who “helps another person” to one who “hinders another person”. Researchers believed these findings constitute evidence that moral evaluation does not require language or complex reasoning & may be a fundamental part of human cognition - even in the preverbal stage. #MEDspiration . . . #parenting #parentingtips #toddlerlearning #babylearning #psychology #psychologyfacts #familymedicine #infant #childdevelopment #neuroscience #medicalresearch #yale ♬ original sound - Nav Badesha, M.D.

But many people don't realize that the experiment has already been completed using the alternative scenario producing the same results–babies prefer the helper. In fact, there was a large-scale coordinated multi-lab replication of this experiment which produced the same results of infants preferring the "good guy." The original researchers attempted to recreate the experiment again with 3-month-old infants measuring their preference by how long they gazed at the characters. Surprisingly the results were similar, the younger babies still seem to prefer looking at the character that would be deemed the "good guy."


Given that these experiments involve nonverbal infants, there will likely be more experiments to attempt to replicate the results throughout the years. But for now it seems that the answer to the question of if babies can pick out the good guy is yes, it would seem so.

@abcnews/TikTok

Cats are stars, onstage and off.

Oh, what it must be like to be a cat. To never suffer from imposter syndrome, to take on foes at least twice your size without hesitation, to navigate the world like you’re on every VIP list in existence. What a glorious life, indeed. Take this concert-crashing kitty, for example. During a live orchestra performance at the 52nd annual Istanbul Music Festival, a curious feline wandered up on stage without a care in the world—and of course it was all anybody could talk about.

In a clip shared to multiple social media platforms by several news outlets, including @abcnews on TikTok, we see the gray and white cat traipse onto the stage, as if drawn in by the whimsical tune being played.

Then, it literally catwalks across the stage, unbothered from beginning to end.

Watch:

@abcnews A curious cat wandered onto stage during a live orchestra performance at the 52nd Istanbul Music Festival. #turkey🇹🇷 #orchestra #catsoftiktok ♬ original sound - ABC News

Of course, as many viewers pointed out, this is an all-too-common sight in Istanbul, which, like many Muslim countries, holds a special place in its heart for felines. According to Catster, cats don’t have owners. Instead, they are taken care of by the entire community all around the city—from tea houses to ferries to public transport and beyond.

Istanbul even funds veterinary care for its stray cats, including spaying and neutering, emergency care, and a mobile Vetbus. It’s pretty much Kitty Heaven over there.

Besides commending Istanbul for its feline-friendly atmosphere, people also shared their delight for the cat who “stole the show.”

“He KNEW this was about him. HIS moment! Lol,” one person wrote.

Another added, “that’s his background music, and he’s off on a big adventure.”

Another tapped into the cat’s POV, writing, “how lovely, the humans are playing me a song.”

Some even offered their best cats puns.

“I think it was trying to find the ‘purr-cussion’ section,”one person quipped.

Another said, “That is an ARISTOCAT.”

Istanbul might go above and beyond for its cats, but the respect we have for feline audacity is strong just about everywhere in the world.


This article originally appeared in June.

Health

Mom shares a catchy song to use when you or your child is feeling worried

Whether we're 4 or 40, this little ditty is a good reminder of what we can and can't control.

mama nous/Instagram (used with permission)

"Worrying has never changed a thing."

Worrying is a very human habit, but one most of us wish we didn't do so much. The way our brains torture us about the future with worry, fear, and anxiety often starts very young, causing all sorts of woe as people grow up. Excessive worry can keep us from doing things that we enjoy and prevent us from taking reasonable risks. If we don't learn strategies for managing mental obstacles that get in our way, they can play far too big a role in our lives for far too long.

That's why a mantra/song called "worrying has never changed a thing" shared by a mother who goes by "mama nous" has captured so many people's minds and hearts. People are saying it's helping them personally as well as helping them help their kids who struggle with worry.

In a video on Instagram, mama nous shares that she's been singing the song to herself a lot lately, and that her 4-year-old had climbed up into her arm and requested it. "It's the kind of message that he might not need yet, but I hope it helps to plant seeds of resilience that he can draw on when he's ready," she wrote.

Watch:

'This song has actually literally reprogrammed my brain," mama nous writes. "As an anxious person, it's not that I don't worry anymore: it's just that when my brain starts to play its favorite trick of rehashing every mistake I've made that day when I'm in bed trying to go to sleep, there's a new voice that speaks up almost immediately."

Being able to challenge anxious thoughts with more helpful thoughts is a huge step in managing anxiety, and using a song that's so easy to draw from is such a great idea.

"She reminds me to take a breath," mama nous continues. "Then she asks if there's anything I can do about it in this moment. Can I gather information? Can I prepare? Can I talk to anyone in a way that would be helpful? So far the answer has always been no. And then I let out a big exhale knowing that in this moment, all I can do is trust + wait until there is something I can do. And then I am able to let it go."

In a follow-up post, mama nous shared the lyrics to the song, which can also be found on Spotify.

Check out how much people appreciate the helpful offering:

"This is such a wonderful mantra to have, and it absolutely has helped me this week! I love the video of you co-regulating with your child, too. Thank you so much!"

"My 3yo was captivated when I showed him the video of this song! He listened to it over and over!!! ❤️"

"My 6 year old has a message for this lady, " I like your song, it helps me go to sleep, and it helps me a lot to know how to not worry, thank you. X""

"As someone who struggles with anxiety and near-constant worry, this was very soothing and actually brought me to tears, and I will likely have it on repeat. 😭"

"I just wanted to let you know how much this song helped me and my son tonight. He was so disregulated and acting out hard.. eventually I played this a few times together, and it calmed him right down and he kissed me. Thank-you so much for your beautiful creations. We will sing it next time before we get to the points we did tonight."

"I started learning this for my students but on the third round, my voice wabbled so much, I realized it was more for my inner child. ❤️"

Fear is one of our strongest primal instincts, which makes worry and anxiety really tough to counter. It's not easy when it feels like your instinctual brain is working against your conscious brain, but tools like this song can be surprisingly powerful in helping your conscious thoughts override the more instinct-driven ones.

You can follow mama nous on Instagram for more musical tools and gentle parenting inspiration.

@notaregularnanny/TikTok

Faith in humanity (and travel) restored.

Stories that involve air travel don’t usually restore our faith in humanity. You’re way more likely to find headlines featuring lost or stolen luggage, rude passengers or unhelpful staff. But every so often, one will come around to remind us that kindness does, in fact, exist…even 40,000 feet up in the air. And when they do appear, they simply must be shared.

In an exclusive in PEOPLE, Gabrielle G., a 27-year-old solo mom who goes by @notaregularnanny on social media, shared how she had been traveling with her 18-month-old son back home to Florida from a Fourth of July family visit in Kansas City, Mo., when her flight got canceled due to an IT outage.

This would be the first of a whole slew of unfortunate circumstances. For Gabrielle was able to rebook a connecting flight through Detroit, however, she and her son were booted off the new flight due to a spacing snafu.

This would be enough for anyone to lose hope, let alone a young single mom taking care of a child all by herself. But in that moment, Gabrielle was about to learn she wasn’t as alone as she thought.

Just as she was about to exit the plane, another mom offered to put her 2-year-old son on her lap so that Gabrielle and her child could take the extra seat. “We ended up getting a seat on that plane after all because of her,” she told People.

But the kindness didn’t stop there. Gabrielle would tell PEOPLE that even though her journey home would include a few more obstacles, like another cancelled flight once she landed in Detroit, as well as no available rental cars or hotel rooms, the strangers she’d meet along the way would help that journey ultimately be an incredibly heartwarming one.

In a now viral video, Gabrielle listed off those helpful strangers—from the old man who helped her son up to look out the airplane window, to the family that entertained him while they were stuck on the tarmac for hours, to the Uber driver who let them stay in his car while they waited for their train so they’d stay safe, and more.


@notaregularnanny Sobbing crying making this video ❤️🩹🥲 my faith in humanity was restored after this whole experience #ittakesavillage #myvillage #motherhood #solotravel #solomom #travelingwithkids #stranded #momsoftiktok #faithinhumanityrestored ♬ Outro by m83 - 𝙡𝙤𝙡𝙖

So many viewers chimed in to share how simply watching the clip restored their own faith in humanity as well.

“My childhood trauma has taught me to trust NOBODY, I cried my eyes out watching this because [of this] exchange of compassion and love by strangers! Thank you for healing a part of me!” one person wrote.

Another said, “If I’ve learned anything recently, it’s that humanity isn’t as awful as it’s currently portrayed to be. May we all take care of one another.”

Others noted how this was a prime example of how “the village” doesn’t always have to be our close friends and family. Rather, it can be, one one person put it, “the people you pass by throughout life.”

Another person wrote, “Be someone’s village! I will always offer to help keep tabs on a kiddo or play with them while a parent handles something. It takes so little effort to choose kindness, help, listen, entertain.”

Another simply dubbed this video as “hopecore,” which feels so appropo. May all our feeds, and our hearts be filled with more hopecore just like this.