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17 times Carrie Fisher handled the world with eloquence and bluntness.

Author. Mother. Mental health advocate. Badass intergalactic freedom-fighting princess. Carrie Fisher wore many crowns during her 60 years of life.

Fisher was rushed to the hospital on Dec. 23, 2016, after a cardiac episode on a flight. A family spokesperson confirmed her passing just four days later, on Tuesday, Dec. 27.

As we mourn her loss, we should also remember her for the one thing she was above all: an icon of resilience who inspired the world in more ways than most of us could ever aspire to.


It wasn't just any one role of hers that touched our lives — it was the sum total of her whole glorious existence, with all its ups and downs.

Photo by Chris Pizzello/AP.

1. Fisher was born to celebrity parents who divorced after her father's very-public affair when she was barely three years old.

Singers Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher were married in 1955, with the birth of Carrie Frances to follow on Oct. 21, 1956. Then Eddie Fisher hooked up with Elizabeth Taylor in just one of his many highly-publicized sexual exploits. Divorce is never fun for the kids, but even less so when it's all over the tabloids.

2. She was raised in the spotlight and dropped out of both high school and college for her acting career. But still, she never stopped pursuing an education.

She attended the Central School of Speech and Drama in London for a time, followed by Sarah Lawrence College, although she didn't complete either curriculum. Her interest in, and commitment to, literature and the arts never wavered, however, and she certainly kept on learning throughout her life.

Photo by Dove/Evening Standard/Getty Images.

3. No one thought that "Star Wars" would explode the way it did. Still, Fisher refused to let her acting career ride on its coattails.

Perhaps her most famous appearance was in "When Harry Met Sally," although she did make countless other cameos over the decades and was also one of the only actresses to appear on screen with both John and Jim Belushi. She even found several roles on Broadway.

But, more importantly, her Hollywood career wasn't limited to acting work.

4. Of course, it wasn't easy to be followed through life by that golden bikini, among other things. But eventually, she learned how to put that in its place.

As objectifying as that iconic outfit may have been, Fisher says she also found some pleasure in it. "I had a lot of fun killing Jabba the Hutt," she told The Guardian once. "The only reason to go into acting is if you can kill a giant monster."

Later, in response to a non-controversy about parents who thought the costume was too scandalous, she told the Wall Street Journal: "The father who flipped out about it, 'What am I going to tell my kid about why she’s in that outfit?' Tell them that a giant slug captured me and forced me to wear that stupid outfit, and then I killed him because I didn’t like it. And then I took it off. Backstage."

Photo by Araya Diaz/Getty Images for The Midnight Mission.

5. Fisher did a lot of drugs. Then she sobered up, and relapsed, and sobered up again. But most importantly, she talked about it.

She openly admitted to doing cocaine on the set of "Empire Strikes Back."

"I didn’t even like coke that much, it was just a case of getting on whatever train I needed to take to get high," she told the Associated Press. But she slowly realized that getting high was no longer her own choice but a necessary compulsion, and that was a problem.

6. She even survived an overdose, which is more than can be said for some of her friends.

Fisher had been clean for three months when she accidentally overdosed on sleeping pills. Luckily, her friends rushed her to the hospital and saved her life. Eventually, she got heavily involved in recruiting and publicity for 12-step programs.

7. Fisher's addictions exacerbated her mental health problems too. She publicly struggled with bipolar disorder — and talked about that too.

She spoke candidly about her psychotic episodes and about the times she took upward of two dozen pills to find mental stability. It's not clear whether her openness came about as part of her own coping process or if it was just a side effect of celebrity. Either way, her outspokenness helped many of her fans fight mental health stigma.

Photo from "Wishful Drinking."

8. Yes, she spent some time in a psychiatric hospital as well. But she refused to give in to the shame around that either.

"There is a part of this illness that is funny," she told the L.A. Times. "Because I have the sense of humor I have, things don't prey on me long. And that's why I have it. If I didn't, I would be ... in pain. If my life weren't funny, it would just be true, and that would be unacceptable."

9. Eventually, Fisher stepped away from acting and turned her attention to writing instead.

Her pseudo-autobiographical novel, "Postcards from the Edge," came out in 1987. It was soon turned into a movie largely based on her own experiences with mental health and drug addiction. She followed it with four other novels and several nonfiction books too.

Photo by Daniel Boczarski/Getty Images for Wizard World.

10. Soon, she became one of the most sought-after "script doctors" in Hollywood and was brought in to fix the screenplays of films from "Hook" to "Sister Act" to "Lethal Weapon III" and "The Wedding Singer."

You won't find her name on any of them, as is the case with most script doctor work. But even through it's hard to identify her exact contributions, it's still pretty impressive. George Lucas even asked her to help touch up the "Star Wars" prequels.

11. Fisher even wrote an episode of the popular TV show "Roseanne" that dealt explicitly with psychiatric struggles.

The episode centers on the mental state of Dan's mom, played by Fisher's own mother, Debbie Reynolds.

12. Throughout all of this, Fisher was involved with plenty of famous men. But she owned her sex life and never let those men overshadow her.

She had an on-again, off-again relationship with Dan Aykroyd, and even married Paul Simon for a time — and, yes, she had an affair with Harrison Ford during filming too. These might seem like the kind of things meant for gossip columns, but Fisher owned her involvement in them all with style.

Photo by Jesse Grant/Getty Images for Disney.

13. She even became the proud mother to a remarkable daughter, who's built a career of her own.

The now-24-year-old Billie Lourd can be seen on the show "Scream Queens," among other things. Lourd's father, Bryan, was a famous powerhouse casting agent who broke up with Fisher and became involved with another man — another emotional devastation that Fisher persevered through.

"People ask if it lessens the blow that he left me for a man, because it’s a rejection of my gender and so isn’t personal. But I don’t care what people say — I was humiliated and betrayed and I believed I’d somehow messed up," she told the Daily Mail.

Eventually, Fisher began to keep a photo of Bryan's husband on her piano. "Because it’s something I made it through. It’s a failure I learnt from. Also, it’s funny. Hollywood weirdness at its best."

Billie Lourd, Todd Fisher, and Carrie Fisher. Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images.

14. Fisher found an intimate understanding of all of life's roller coasters — having lived through so many of them.  The more she understood herself and her own struggles, the more she helped out others too.

Musician James Blunt moved in with Fisher for a while in the early-2000s, for example, and she told Vanity Fair in 2006 that they had a strictly therapeutic and non-sexual relationship. "He was a soldier. This boy has seen awful stuff. [...] He would tell me these horrible stories. I became James’s therapist. So it would have been unethical to sleep with my patient," she said.

15. Fisher's writing career soon turned to memoir, where she recapped the ups-and-downs of her life with brutal but hilarious honesty.

Later, she turned her memoir "Wishful Drinking" into a tremendously successful Broadway play, as well as an HBO documentary. Then she followed it up with two more memoirs — because one simply wasn't enough for her whole wild life.

Photo by Dave Caulkin/AP (L); photo by Chris Jackson/Getty Images (R).

16. All the while, she kept getting older, in public. But she took on the aging process with pride too.

Fisher wasn't always the gold bikinied sex icon that she was when she was younger — no one is. But that's natural, and totally OK. At one point, she became a spokesperson for Jenny Craig to help her gracefully age into the acceptance of older age, and she wasn't afraid to shoot down body-shamers either.

17. The year she died, Fisher won a Lifetime Achievement Award in Cultural Humanism from Harvard.

"Her forthright activism and outspokenness about addiction, mental illness, and agnosticism have advanced public discourse on these issues with creativity and empathy," they said.

Photo from Comedy Central.

Carrie Fisher has played many different roles throughout her life, both on-screen and off. But her strength as a survivor has shone through them all.

Thank you, Carrie, for showing us that it's possible to get through the roller coaster that is life with humor, grace, and perseverance.

Humor

Comedian nails the differences in how each generation arrives at someone's home

"Millennials will arrive late, but they will text you to let you know they're on their way, just as they're about to get into the shower."

Boomers will knock. Loudly. At all hours.

There's no doubt that there are contrasts between the generations, as baby boomers, Gen X, millennials and Gen Z see and experience the world quite differently. While generation gaps have always existed, the tech age has widened those gaps in big ways, which sometimes creates challenges but often results in hilarity.

For instance, watching a Gen Zer try to figure out how to use a rotary phone is pure entertainment. The way emojis are used and interpreted varies vastly by age, making for some chuckle-worthy communication mishaps. Slang terms can be hard to keep up with the older you get, but they can also be manipulated by savvy elders to great comedic effect.

gen z slang, w rizz, generations, generation gap, generational differences Riz W Sign GIF Giphy

And now, comedian Jake Lambert is comparing how the different generations arrive at someone's house in a viral video that's been viewed more than 12 million times.

"You've basically got boomers who will turn up completely unannounced any time from about 7:00 in the morning and they will knock on your door just slightly louder than the police using a battering ram carrying out a house raid," Lambert begins.

"And then you've got Gen X. They would have made the plans well in advance, and they would've also checked in a couple of days before just to make sure the plans are definitely still happening," he goes on. "You see, Gen X is the forgotten generation and they're so scarred by this title they would've assumed that you'd forgotten not only about the plans but about their very existence."

"Millennials will have hoped that the plans would've been canceled. There's no reason that a millennial will ever actually want to come to your house," he continues. "They will arrive late, but they will text you to let you know they're on their way, just as they're about to get into the shower. And a millennial will never knock on your door. You'll just get a text either saying 'here' or 'outside,' and that's your cue to go and let them in."

"Similarly, Gen Z will never actually knock," he concludes. "But the chances are they won't have to, as they would have been documenting the entire journey from their house to yours, maybe even on Facetime using this angle [camera facing directly up at the chin] as they go along for some reason. Either that or they'll just send a picture of your front door or a selfie of them outside it. And again, just like the millennial, that's your cue to go and rescue them from the outside world."

gen z, selfie, generation gap, generational differences, generations Gen Z will send a selfie from outside your house as an indicator that they've arrived. Photo credit: Canva

People feel alternately seen, attacked and validated by Lambert's assessments, with the most common response being "accurate."

"I‘m a millennial, my husband GenX. Scarily accurate! 😂"

"Described this millennial to a T."

"This is surprisingly accurate 😂 I laughed slightly louder than the police using a battering ram…"

"Sooo accurate…guilty of the lateness and ‘here’ text 🙃"

"I must admit I'm a millennial. But knocking on the door feels so aggressive, uknow? 😅😇"

"Millennial texting to say almost there but just started getting dressed to go out. Why do we do this? It's not intentional, at least not for me."

millennial, ok boomer, generation gap, generational differences, generations Giphy

"Honestly your observations are just brilliant! GenX-er here!"

"The Gen Z angle omg. 😂😂"

Naturally there are some people who don't resonate with their generation's description, but there are exceptions to every rule and some people will never fit a stereotype. However, judging by the wave of affirmative responses, Lambert has nailed the generational generalities across the board—and done so in a way that allows us all to laugh at ourselves.

You can follow Jake Lambert on Instagram.

This article originally appeared last year.

Fandom.com, Gage skidmore/Wikipedia

When fans become friends.

In celebration for the upcoming 25th anniversary of his heretical cult classic Dogma, director and writer Kevin Smith recalled what it was like working with the late great Alan Rickman, who played Metatron—the sardonic, winged messenger of God. Which, if you haven’t seen it, please do. Rickman is every bit as iconic in this as he is in Harry Potter or Die Hard.

Speaking of Die Hard, this brings us to our first fun anecdote Smith shared while appearing on The Rich Eisen Show. Eisen first asked Smith if at any point while filming Dogma, did he start “fanboying” over Rickman because of his legendary portrayal of Hans Gruber.

Smith immediately said yes, and added that Rickman was apparently a fan boy of Jason Mews (the Jay of Jay & Silent Bob), and even regaled him as an “American icon,” and “the best that America can be.”

dogma, dogma screening, dogma 25th anniversary, kevin smith, alan rickman, alan rickma dogma, rich eisen Alan Rickman as Metatron 'Dogma' media4.giphy.com

“Still to this day, if I try to correct him on something, [Mews]’ll be like, ‘which one of us is the American icon?” Smith quipped.

But the real funny bit is what happened during the one and only time Smith had to correct Rickman on a line reading.

At one point in the movie, Metatron says “Wax on, wax off,” which many of us might instantly recognize as a reference to Karate Kid. Rickman, who had not seen Karate Kid, did not, and originally delivered the line with Shakespearean gusto. So Smith went over to him, explained the reference and gave him a line reading (“which actors hate”).

“He turned to me…and he goes…’Royally trained, Kevin,’” Smith said, giggling.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Honestly, can’t you just see Rickman delivering the line that way? Is there a way we can all witness that greatness?!

Smith would also share that the miraculous casting of Rickman happened “by accident.” Thinking him too serious of an actor to do his comedy, Smith never reached out. But word got out that Rickman loved Chasing Amy (one of Kevin Smith’s most highly acclaimed projects) and so he was sent the Dogma script. It was an immediate yes.

On Facebook and Instagram, Smith even shared the deal memo sent to Rickman, which showed that he was paid scale, aka “the minimum wage of the movie biz.”

“So that means Alan blessed us with his perfect performance for way below what he was worth (and way less than he’d make as Snape in the @harrypotter flicks he’d do later),” Smith wrote.

While they started off as creative admirers, Dogma would cement a genuine, lasting friendship between Smith and Rickman. While speaking with GQ, Smith said, "We became friends, like that was something I never understood until late in his life. Honestly, until he passed away. I always just thought that he was just being polite because we made Dogma together and stuff. But he was genuinely interested in me and my family."

By the way you haven’t had the chance to see Rickman do his thing in this movie on the big screen, you’re in luck! Throughout September, DOGMA will be showing in theaters across the U.S., along with exclusive Q&A content, via Iconic Events Releasing.

Fatherhood

Dad shares 'complaints' about his toddler's restaurant business and it's too adorable

"It's a very clean establishment, but whewww let me tell you about this owner."

Ava's Kitchen leaves a bit to be desired in the customer service department.

Toddlers can be a handful, but they're also the absolute best, with their tiny little adorableness, their burgeoning vocabulary, and their slowly evolving understanding of the world. Their imaginations are something else, and spending time in a wee one's world is always an unpredictable treat. Being the parent of a toddler is a unique joy that only lasts for a fleeting season, so you have to take full advantage of it while you can. And one dad has clearly done just that.

Christopher Kyle is father to Ava, who at 18 months old treated her dad to a meal at her sit-down restaurant. Only according to Kyle, the service left much to be desired. In a post on Instagram, Kyle shared a photo of Ava in her play kitchen while he sat waiting for his food in a tiny chair at a tiny table.

The father/customer wrote:

"So I tried to support another Black Owned Business for lunch today. It's called Ava's Kitchen, just opened end of April. It's a very clean establishment, but whewww let me tell you about this owner.

First off, I asked why there are balloons on my chair, and it's not my birthday? She talm'bout, mind yah business; those are Mommy's.

I been waiting on my order to get done for 45 minutes, and I'm the only customer here. She was making good progress at first, then she stopped for 20 minutes to go watch Paw Patrol.

Paw Patrol Dog GIF by Xbox Giphy

Overall the customer service could be better, but the cook is a cutie; so I'll give her another chance. Let's not give up on Black businesses so fast after one mistake. 💕"

People absolutely loved this dad's humor and clearly stellar parenting skills. Anyone who has sat through a tea party—or any activity with the wee ones—knows that for all of its cuteness, toddler play is an exercise in patience and endurance.

Upworthy shared Kyle's story on our Instagram page and our readers did not disappoint.

Some played right along with the game:

"Starting a restaurant is tough.. give her a chance ❤️❤️"

"I mean, she started a restaurant during a global pandemic, give her a break 😂"

"Is she taking reservations?"

Fans of Paw Patrol had some words:

"Paw Patrol is a must watch so 🤷🏾♀️😂"

"I died at Paw Patrol 🤣🤣🤣 that's my show though. I don't have kids I just watch it just because lmao."

"Paw Patrol break is mandatory. Too cute! ♥️"

Others just gushed over the entire scene:

"Love EVERYTHING about this!! The adorable owner, the customer's humor and the incredible love."

"That's the cutest restaurant owner I've ever seen. The dad's face is priceless! 😂👍❤️"

"LoL the story is funny & beautiful!!! This warms my heart!! This babygirl will grow up to have such a healthy look at men (in any capacity) as long as she & her Daddy keep such a beautiful bond!! Happy Father's Day (early) Keep encouraging her to do her thing and her confidence will continue to soar!! I just love this!! 😍😍😍"

Since that post went viral, Ava and her dad have had some other creative adventures, including building things at Home Depot's free kids weekend workshop:

Will Ava be a restaurant owner, a carpenter, or something totally different when she grows up? Who knows, but with her dad's support, no doubt she'll build success wherever she ends up.

This article originally appeared five years ago and has been updated.

Culture

Linguist explains why Brits add an 'r' sound to words that end in vowels, but only sometimes

This is why "Anna is cute" becomes "Anner is cute" in British English.

American English vs. British English

Learning to speak English must be confusing when it's not your first language, especially considering how many distinct English accents there are. If you learn English strictly from American teachers, you'll end up pronouncing the language differently than if your teachers are British, Australian, or New Zealander.

One difference between American and British English is the way the two treat the "r' sound. American English uses the hard "r" sound (which is one of the rarest linguistic sounds in the world) a lot. Brits generally drop it at the end of words—father becomes "fath-uh," water becomes "wat-uh," and so on—and yet, Brits also insert "r' sounds where there isn't a letter "r," which is super confusing for Americans.

letter R, r sound, rhotic, non-rhotic, english accents How Brits use the "r" sound is confusing to Americans. Photo credit: Canva

Case in point: I watched Hamilton on stage in London, and in the final number, the whole cast sang "Angelic-er and Eliza were at his side when he died." How did they turn Angelica into Angelic-er? (Especially when they were supposed to be using American accents?)

A linguist named Derek explains that the inserted "r" in British English serves a specific purpose—as a placeholder to distinguish between the vowel sound at the end of one word and the vowel sound at the beginning of the next word.

@derek__ling

Answering more accent questions #language #linguistics #accents #english

So "America is" becomes "Americ-er is" and "banana is" becomes "banan-er is." (Or "banana rizz" as one clever commenter pointed out.) It's called an "intrusive R" and it sounds downright strange to the American ear. We're used to hearing "r" sounds all the time, but not in places where there isn't actually an "r" anywhere to be found.

When a word ends in a vowel and the next word begins with a vowel, Americans just slide the vowels together or sometimes put a little glottal stop in between the vowel sounds. British English differentiates them with an "r" sound. It's an unspoken rule—they don't learn it at school or anything, as it's dialectical, not grammatical. In fact, Brits often don't even realize they're doing it until it's pointed out to them.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

So if British people are perfectly capable of pronouncing an "r" at the end of a word, why do they not pronounce the "r" at the end of words that actually have a letter "r"? That's an interesting, if not totally clear, story.

People might assume that Americans were the ones who added the "r" pronunciation to English or that it must be a carryover from Scottish accents that pronounce the "r" with gusto. But in actuality, British people in general used to pronounce the "r" as well. That's right. British English actually used to sound more like American English, not the other way around.

How exactly the change happened has been a topic of some debate among linguists, but the gist is that England's non-rhotic accent (the accent that doesn't pronounce the "r") came about as a bit of socioeconomic snobbery in the 18th century. Certain classes of Brits started putting on the accent as a way of differentiating themselves from those of lower classes, at least in certain parts of England. Toss in a trendy fascination with the French around that time, and voila! Bye-bye "r" sounds.

R sound, rhotic, non-rhotic, linguistics, peewee herman Americans love the "r" sound. Giphy

But back to the present confusion about when the "r" gets pronounced. As Derek points out, both British and American folks often get it wrong when imitating one another's accents. Brits will add "r" to the end of words that end in a vowel simply because they think that's what Americans do, and Americans will remove the "r" sound where it's actually used in British English. For instance, British pronunciation of "father" would be "fathuh," but not when a word that starts with a vowel comes after it, like "my father and I." In that case, the Brit would pronounce the "r" but an American imitating a British accent would probably say, "my fathuh and I."

Tricky, isn't it? But now we know. If the next word starts with a vowel, Brits say "r" at the end of words ending with a vowel or with an "r."

You can follow Derek on TikTok for more linguistic fun.

Photo Credit: Canva

A contrarian woman sets the record straight. Another woman reacts.

Have you ever just had "that friend" who will argue with everyone about everything? Not necessarily with regard to political views or big life philosophies—but rather, they act as contrarians to the smallest, most inconsequential stuff. By the end of most conversations, you're feeling exhausted and perhaps a little gaslit?

Here are a few examples. "Bob's birthday is in October." "No, it's not, it's August." "It's definitely in October." Texts Bob, Bob confirms it's October. "Oh, okay, well he CELEBRATES in August." That might seem extreme, but it really happened. One time, I merely expressed my opinion to a friend after a long drive down the freeway. "Los Angeles drivers seem entitled." He replied, oddly smugly, "No, they don't."

@kelseyjunejensen

Please !!! Enough 🙅🏼‍♀️

Luckily, there are ways of gently dealing with these situations that don't feel confrontational or, worse, relationship-ending. Clinical psychologist Christie Ferrari gives very specific tools on how to process and address these types of people, no matter how frustrating they might seem.

First, she explains the importance of discussing the matter "without sounding accusatory." She notes that instead of saying "'You always argue with me,' which will almost always trigger defensiveness, focus on your feelings and the impact of their behavior." Instead, try, "When we talk, sometimes I feel like I’m being corrected, and that makes it harder for me to want to share things. Have you ever felt that between us?'"

For those who always seem to retort with a "but" or a "well" (and I'll even throw in an "actually"), Ferrari suggests "flipping with curiosity," asking, "Why do you see it that way?" Perhaps this response will trigger their curiosity about your opinion—or at least remind them that you have one.

She also makes the point that not all contrarians are meaning to attack you personally. "Sometimes they’re unaware they’re doing it. Sometimes they’re socially awkward or wired to process out loud. Sometimes they’re neurodivergent, and this is their conversation style." Regardless, she says, "The key is noticing patterns. Occasional disagreement is healthy. Constant one-upmanship or dismissiveness is not."

When it's just not changeable, she offers this excellent solution: "You don’t have to 'win' a conversation with a contrarian. You just have to keep yourself from being drained by it. With these back-pocket phrases, you can protect your point, stay in control of your response, and decide whether this is a friendship you want to keep investing in. 'Not a debate, just a thought.' 'We’re not in court, I’m just telling you what happened.'"

This seems to be a common issue with many. There are quite a few Reddit threads dedicated to the topic, one simply titled, "How do you deal with a contrarian?" The OP exemplifies: "Him: The sky is blue today. Me: Oh yeah, that really is blue. Him: Actually, it's pretty green."

cat, contrarian friend, actually, annoying things A cat lets you know you're wrong in a conversation. Giphy Cat Nerd

Some Redditors give the harsh advice of cutting off the friendship or starting huge arguments. But this person has a real solution for at least trying to make a conversation with this type of person tolerable: "I’d say get him onto a subject where there can be a genuine, interesting discussion." The idea, perhaps, is that it's the small-talk that's met with unnecessary pushback that's frustrating. If you guide this person to "bigger picture" topics, it might feel more fulfilling.

Another notes that it's a good idea to distinguish the level of substance in a conversation. "It really depends on the stakes: Work-related and important? Drive home the correct points. Unrelated? Literally just ignore his dumbass responses and eventually he'll realize that no one cares."

This commenter, perhaps, had the best response: "You're wrong, there's no such thing as a contrarian."