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14 eye-opening comics about life as a transgender person.

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll get a greater understanding of what it's like being trans.

When Seattle-area artist Jessica U. started making comics about her life after coming out as transgender, she never thought she'd get the response she did.

After falling out with some close friends, finding that even family would get very easily annoyed with her, and losing two jobs in a row, she needed some kind of outlet to vent her frustrations.

"Everyone made me feel like it was all my fault, like transphobia inside them simply couldn't exist because they pledged their support for me at one point," she says. "I really started to believe that I turned into the awful person and worker many said I become. But when I started drawing the comics about transphobia, other trans people responded immediately, saying that they've been through a lot of the same stuff."

She kept writing, drawing, and finding her audience. While she doesn't necessarily make her comic for people unfamiliar with trans issues, if someone learns something new, that's a great bonus.

Here are 14 of Jessica's best comics about her life as a trans woman.

Maybe you'll get a chuckle out of them or maybe you'll learn something new — or better yet, both!

(Psst: If you're unfamiliar with any of the terms used in these comics, check out this awesome glossary of trans-related words on author Julia Serano's website.)

1. Workplace harassment is real, even if it's not always intentional.

[rebelmouse-image 19527577 dam="1" original_size="500x1469" caption="According to a 2015 survey by the National Center for Transgender Equality, 30% of all trans people in the workforce had been fired, denied a promotion, or harassed at work for being trans. There's no federal law that explicitly protects people on the basis of gender identity, though some have argued in court that the ban on sex-based discrimination in the Civil Rights Act should apply. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls." expand=1]According to a 2015 survey by the National Center for Transgender Equality, 30% of all trans people in the workforce had been fired, denied a promotion, or harassed at work for being trans. There's no federal law that explicitly protects people on the basis of gender identity, though some have argued in court that the ban on sex-based discrimination in the Civil Rights Act should apply. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.

2. If you're an ally, remember to treat trans people as people. Be cool, be kind.

[rebelmouse-image 19527578 dam="1" original_size="750x1926" caption="If you want to be a good ally, read this! Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls." expand=1]If you want to be a good ally, read this! Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.

3. Explaining gender dysphoria is tricky, but think of it this way...

Gender dysphoria — a kind of dissonance between the gender you are and the one you were assigned at birth — can be especially difficult. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.

4. "Trans broken arm syndrome" is real, it's a pain in the butt, and it's also a public health issue.

[rebelmouse-image 19527580 dam="1" original_size="500x1612" caption=""Trans broken arm syndrome" is what happens when trans people go to the doctor for something completely and totally unrelated to them being trans (for example, a broken arm) and are told that it's probably the result of their hormone treatments. It's not fun, and it makes actually getting treated for something (a cold, the flu, strep throat, and everything else you can imagine) a lot harder than it needs to be. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls." expand=1]"Trans broken arm syndrome" is what happens when trans people go to the doctor for something completely and totally unrelated to them being trans (for example, a broken arm) and are told that it's probably the result of their hormone treatments. It's not fun, and it makes actually getting treated for something (a cold, the flu, strep throat, and everything else you can imagine) a lot harder than it needs to be. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.

5. Sometimes people just don't get why what might seem like a minor annoyance is actually a pretty big deal.

[rebelmouse-image 19527581 dam="1" original_size="750x1640" caption="Jessica's comic on this subject came out back when a "Caitlyn Jenner" Halloween costume was being marketed to men, and yeah, that was pretty awful. It was about more than just that one costume; it was also the fact that the costume pushed a stereotype about trans women being burly men. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls." expand=1]Jessica's comic on this subject came out back when a "Caitlyn Jenner" Halloween costume was being marketed to men, and yeah, that was pretty awful. It was about more than just that one costume; it was also the fact that the costume pushed a stereotype about trans women being burly men. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.

6. Singular "they" is perfectly acceptable, and it shouldn't be a big deal if you're asked to use it.

[rebelmouse-image 19527582 dam="1" original_size="750x814" caption="Most people actually use singular "they" all the time in their speech whenever they don't know the gender of the person they're talking about. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls." expand=1]Most people actually use singular "they" all the time in their speech whenever they don't know the gender of the person they're talking about. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.

7. It's not fun when other people try to create criteria for what it means to be a man or a woman.

Jessica's premise — an ally who says that he'll only call a trans woman "she" if she's had gender-confirmation surgery — is super-relatable and messed up for a bunch of reasons. For one, that seems to suggest that people should have to announce what their genitals look like if they want to be called the correct pronouns. Just take people at their word. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.

8. Sometimes questions get really personal really fast.

"What do your genitals look like?" "How do you have sex?" "Can I see a 'before' picture?" "What's your 'real' name?" These are all kind of personal questions that can be really, really uncomfortable to have to address — especially when the person asking is someone you just met. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.

9. Pronouns and names are important.

[rebelmouse-image 19527585 dam="1" original_size="500x1521" caption="As a trans person myself, it can be really hard for me to believe that someone truly accepts me for who I am if they continue to refer to me by the wrong name and pronouns behind my back. It gives the impression that the other person doesn't actually accept me but is merely humoring me when I'm around. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls." expand=1]As a trans person myself, it can be really hard for me to believe that someone truly accepts me for who I am if they continue to refer to me by the wrong name and pronouns behind my back. It gives the impression that the other person doesn't actually accept me but is merely humoring me when I'm around. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.

10. Attacks on trans rights are happening all around us. This is where allies are really needed.

And yes, the situation described in the comic actually happened. North Carolina, Texas, and other states have experienced or are experiencing some pretty intense anti-trans messaging to push for discriminatory laws. The truth is that the common argument that policies protecting trans people's rights to be able to use public restrooms will be exploited by cisgender men "pretending to be trans" to sexually assault women isn't actually backed up by data — so they create situations, which is majorly messed up. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.

11. The "debate" about whether trans people are legitimate finds its way to newspaper opinion pages and TV segments on a frustratingly regular basis.

It seems like just every few weeks a major media outlet in the U.S. or Europe will publish some variation on "What Makes a Woman?" or "Are Trans Activists Going Too Far?" The totally bizarre thing is that these stories tend to use the same arguments over and over and over and — well, you get the idea. It's pretty frustrating to have your existence talked about as an abstract hypothetical when there are so many very important, real things happening in the world. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.

12. Compliments can have a way of taking weird turns — and often aren't compliments at all.

[rebelmouse-image 19527588 dam="1" original_size="750x809" caption=""I would have never guessed" is a common "compliment" people say to trans people, but that's just because there's this idea that trans women and trans men all look "visibly trans." The truth is that trans people are everywhere, and even if you don't think you know a trans person, you probably do. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls." expand=1]"I would have never guessed" is a common "compliment" people say to trans people, but that's just because there's this idea that trans women and trans men all look "visibly trans." The truth is that trans people are everywhere, and even if you don't think you know a trans person, you probably do. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.

13. There's the whole "Oh no, is my existence going to be the punchline again?" anxiety when it comes to watching, well, anything.

[rebelmouse-image 19527589 dam="1" original_size="750x687" caption=""Ace Ventura," "Silence of the Lambs," "The Crying Game," and more; there's no shortage of less-than-sensitive entertainment that either uses trans people as a surprise twist or a cheap joke. Honestly, it wouldn't be that bad if not for the fact that there really aren't a whole lot of positive portrayals to counter the negative. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls." expand=1]"Ace Ventura," "Silence of the Lambs," "The Crying Game," and more; there's no shortage of less-than-sensitive entertainment that either uses trans people as a surprise twist or a cheap joke. Honestly, it wouldn't be that bad if not for the fact that there really aren't a whole lot of positive portrayals to counter the negative. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.

14. It's difficult to be pigeonholed as "the trans person." People are complex, and not every trans person spends every waking moment thinking about trans-ness in the world.

[rebelmouse-image 19527590 dam="1" original_size="750x843" caption="We're all more than just our gender, trans people included. But seriously, it can be exhausting to constantly have to explain who you are to the world like a sentient encyclopedia of gender. It's just something worth keeping in mind. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls." expand=1]We're all more than just our gender, trans people included. But seriously, it can be exhausting to constantly have to explain who you are to the world like a sentient encyclopedia of gender. It's just something worth keeping in mind. Comic by Manic Pixie Nightmare Girls.

Check out the rest of Jessica's comics at ManicPixieNightmareGirls.com and visit her Patreon page for more exclusive content.

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Science

Researchers dumped tons of coffee waste into a forest. This is what it looks like now.

30 dump truck loads and two years later, the forest looks totally different.

assets.rebelmouse.io

One of the biggest problems with coffee production is that it generates an incredible amount of waste. Once coffee beans are separated from cherries, about 45% of the entire biomass is discarded.

So for every pound of roasted coffee we enjoy, an equivalent amount of coffee pulp is discarded into massive landfills across the globe. That means that approximately 10 million tons of coffee pulp is discarded into the environment every year.


When disposed of improperly, the waste can cause serious damage soil and water sources.

However, a new study published in the British Ecological Society journal Ecological Solutions and Evidence has found that coffee pulp isn't just a nuisance to be discarded. It can have an incredibly positive impact on regrowing deforested areas of the planet.

via British Ecological Society

In 2018, researchers from ETH-Zurich and the University of Hawaii spread 30 dump trucks worth of coffee pulp over a roughly 100' x 130' area of degraded land in Costa Rica. The experiment took place on a former coffee farm that underwent rapid deforestation in the 1950s.

The coffee pulp was spread three-feet thick over the entire area.

Another plot of land near the coffee pulp dump was left alone to act as a control for the experiment.

"The results were dramatic." Dr. Rebecca Cole, lead author of the study, said. "The area treated with a thick layer of coffee pulp turned into a small forest in only two years while the control plot remained dominated by non-native pasture grasses."

In just two years, the area treated with coffee pulp had an 80% canopy cover, compared to just 20% of the control area. So, the coffee-pulp-treated area grew four times more rapidly. Like a jolt of caffeine, it reinvigorated biological activity in the area.

The canopy was also four times taller than that of the control.

Before and after images of the forest

The forest experienced a radical, positive change

via British Ecological Society

The coffee-treated area also eliminated an invasive species of grass that took over the land and prevented forest succession. Its elimination allowed for other native species to take over and recolonize the area.

"This case study suggests that agricultural by-products can be used to speed up forest recovery on degraded tropical lands. In situations where processing these by-products incurs a cost to agricultural industries, using them for restoration to meet global reforestation objectives can represent a 'win-win' scenario," Dr. Cole said.

If the results are repeatable it's a win-win for coffee drinkers and the environment.

Researchers believe that coffee treatments can be a cost-effective way to reforest degraded land. They may also work to reverse the effects of climate change by supporting the growth of forests across the globe.

The 2016 Paris Agreement made reforestation an important part of the fight against climate change. The agreement incentivizes developing countries to reduce deforestation and forest degradation, promote forest conservation and sustainable management, and enhance forest carbon stocks in developing countries.

"We hope our study is a jumping off point for other researchers and industries to take a look at how they might make their production more efficient by creating links to the global restoration movement," Dr. Cole said.


This article originally appeared on 03.29.21

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Family

People who chose to be child-free are just as happy at 70 as those with kids, study finds

What about all the regret they were supposed to feel?

via Jens Lindner/Unsplash

A woman looking content with her child-free life.

Every couple that has ever considered being child-free has had to deal with people who have children telling them they will regret their decision. They're often told that they’ll be lonely when they get older and never understand the joy and fulfillment of having a child.

Even though there is so much pressure for couples to have kids, more and more people are deciding to live child-free lives. A recent study found that 47% of adults under 50 without kids say they're unlikely to have them — up 10 percentage points from 2018.

There are many different reasons why people don’t want to have kids, whether it’s affordability, the state of the world and the environment, or they just don’t feel like it. The child-free movement gets even stronger as people get younger.

Sixty-seven percent of young women and 50% of young men say they just don’t want children. So, are all of these people setting themselves up for a lifetime of regret because they choose not to have kids? A recent study out of Michigan says no, they probably won’t.

The Institute for Public Policy and Social Research at Michigan State University studied 1,000 Michiganders, asking whether they have or want children. The study separated those who wish to be child-free from those who want children but can’t have them.

The study found that by the time people reach the age of 70, people who have children and those who decided not to are just as satisfied with their lives.

child-free, no kids, childrenA couple enjoying coffeevia MART PRODUCTION/Pexels

“Childfree people, especially women, are often told they’ll be dissatisfied with life or regret their decision later,” Jennifer Watling Neal, one of the study’s authors, told PsyPost. “In this study, we compared how much adults age 70 and older said they’d want to change something about their life — in other words, whether they had any regrets about how their life had gone. We didn’t see any difference between child-free people and parents. This suggests that child-free people are similar to others in terms of life satisfaction and often don’t regret their decision later.”

The researchers found that child-free people may be happier than those with kids.“In fact, older parents were slightly more likely to want to change something about their life,” Neal said in a statement.

The study was conducted on 1,000 people; times change and everyone’s experience is different, so there’s no telling who will or will not have regrets about their decision to have children. But the study should bring some peace of mind to those who are tired of hearing that they may regret their choice to be child-free, whether from friends, family or the little voice in their heads.

The discussion also raises a deeper question: How do we create a society where people are excited about having children? What changes could be made to make it affordable for people to have families? How can we create a brighter future so that parents can feel confident that the children born today will be able to thrive as adults?

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Family

Naming twins is an art. Here are some twin names people say are the best they've ever heard.

With twins, all the regular pressures of having a baby are doubled, including choosing a name.

Photo credit: Canva

Are you in favor of rhyming twin names? Or is it too cutesy?

Having twins means double the fun, and double the pressure. It’s a fairly known rule to name twins in a way that honors their unique bond, but that can lead to overly cutesy pairings that feel more appropriate for nursery rhyme characters than actual people. Plus, it’s equally important for the names to acknowledge each twin’s individuality. Again, these are people—not a matching set of dolls. Finding the twin baby name balance is easier said than done, for sure.

Luckily, there are several ways to do this. Names can be linked by style, sound or meaning, according to the baby name website Nameberry. For example, two names that share a classic style would be Elizabeth and Edward, whereas Ione and Lionel share a similar rhythm. And Frederica and Milo seem to share nothing in common, but both mean “peaceful.”

Over on the /NameNerds subreddit, one person asked folks to share their favorite twin name pairings, and the answers did not disappoint.

One person wrote “Honestly, for me it’s hard to beat the Rugrats combo of Phillip and Lillian (Phil and Lil) 💕”

A few parents who gave their twin’s names that didn’t inherently rhyme until nicknames got involved:

"It's the perfect way! Christmas cards can be signed cutely with matching names, but when they act out you can still use their full name without getting tripped up.😂"

"The parents of a good friend of mine did this: her name is Allison and her sister is Callie. Their names don’t match on the surface, but they were Alli and Callie at home."

“Alice and Celia, because they’re anagrams! Sound super different but have a not-so-obvious implicit connection.”

This incited an avalanche of other anagram ideas: Aidan and Nadia, Lucas and Claus, Liam and Mila, Noel and Leon, Ira and Ria, Amy and May, Ira and Ari, Cole and Cleo…even Alice, Celia, and Lacie for triplets.

Others remembered name pairs that managed to sound lovely together without going into cutesy territory.

twin names, twins, babies, baby namesThese matching bunny ears though. Photo credit: Canva

“I know twin toddler boys named Charlie and Archie and they go so well together,” one person commented.

Another wrote, “Tamia and Aziza. I love how they follow the same sound pattern with the syllable endings (-uh, -ee, -uh) without being obnoxiously matchy matchy.”

Still another said, “Lucy and Logan, fraternal girl/boy twins. I think the names sound so nice together, and definitely have the same 'vibe' and even though they have the same first letter they aren't too matchy-matchy.”

Other honorable mentions included: Colton and Calista, Caitlin and Carson, Amaya and Ameera, Alora and Luella, River and Rosie, and Eleanor and Elias.

One person cast a vote for shared style names, saying, “If I had twins, I would honestly just pick two different names that I like separately. I tend to like classic names, so I’d probably pick Daniel and Benjamin for boys. For girls my two favorites right now are Valerie and Tessa. I think Val and Tess would be cute together!”

Overall though, it seems that most folks were fans of names that focused on shared meaning over shared sound. Even better if there’s a literary or movie reference thrown in there.

twin names, twins, babies, baby namesMany adult twins regret that their names are so closely linked together. Photo credit: Canva

“My mom works in insurance, so I asked her. She’s seen a lot of unique ones, but the only twins she remembers are Gwenivere [sic] and Lancelot... bonus points... little brother was Merlin,” one person recalled.

Another shared, “If I had twin girls, I would name them Ada and Hedy for Ada Lovelace and Hedy Lamarr, both very early computer/tech pioneers. Not that I’m that into tech, I just thought it was a brilliant combination.”

Other great ones: Susan and Sharon (think the original “Parent Trap”), Clementine and Cara (types of oranges), Esme and Etienne (French descent), Luna and Stella (moon and stars), Dawn and Eve, plus various plant pairings like Lily and Fern, Heather and Holly, and Juniper and Laurel.

Perhaps the cleverest name pairing goes to “Aubrey and Zoe,” since…wait for it… “they’re A to Z.”

It’s easy to see how naming twins really is a cool opportunity for parents to get creative and intentional with their baby naming. It might be a challenge, sure, but the potential reward is having the most iconic set of twins ever. Totally worth it!

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Family

Woman sparks dialogue after saying she doesn't take advice from men no matter how successful

"I tend to take their advice with a grain of salt," says Paige Connell.

Courtesy of Paige Connell

Woman says she doesn't take advice from men.

Being a woman comes with certain expectations, no matter where in the world you live. Becoming a mother adds another layer to those expectations, with traditional society often not considering the impact on the woman experiencing that shift. For instance, many women work outside of the home and are still expected to be the one who figures out which childcare center would be best.

Women are also often expected to put their careers on hold to stay at home if it's decided that outside childcare isn't feasible. Sure, some dads may do the heavy lifting in this area, but that's not a societally expected thing. Because these things are typically expected of women, men don't generally have to consider many of the logistics of children if they're partnered with a woman.

Paige Connell sparked a conversation when she shared on social media that she doesn't take advice from men, even if it's their job. On the surface that sounds harsh, even though she clarifies that she considers the advice but takes it with a big grain of salt, and her reasoning involves the invisible labor aspect.

"I do not tend to take a lot of advice from men, even the most successful men. And I mean advice in the form of self-help books, podcasts from successful men or just men in general. I tend to take their advice with a grain of salt because I do not think it is applicable to women and mothers in particular," Connell share before revealing her reasoning.

In the video she shares that she was recently listening to "The Diary of a CEO" podcast where the man talked about all the risks he took, including moving from Connecticut where his young child and ex-girlfriend live to New York. Connell pointed out through the entire episode detailing his risks and upward mobility, he never mentioned his child, which caused her to surmise that it was because childcare concerns weren't a part of his journey.


@sheisapaigeturner I do not often take advice from men, even the most successful of men, because the common thread is usually that they were able to become successful, because there was a woman standing beside them, or behind them, supporting them. Without acknowledging this, the advice means very little because women often don’t have men standing besides them, or behind them to support them. #caseyneistat #diaryofaceo #millennialmom #workingmom #wfhmom #corporatemom #successfulwomen ♬ original sound - Paige


She continued explaining how the burden of childcare tends to fall on women, working and nonworking, allowing the male parent to be free to corporate climb uninhibited by the worry. Connell shares that she prefers to listen to professionally successful moms because they share the help needed with childcare and how they navigated these spaces being the default parent. Others agreed to much of what she was saying.

"I came to a similar conclusion…I have read quite a few books of men going on their 'hero’s journey' where they did all these extravagant endeavors and eventually found success or enlightenment. But nothing about how a mother deep in the trenches of child raising is the [true] hero’s journey. Motherhood can chew you up and spit you out. A mother dies a million deaths and finds strength to continue to show up for her child day and night. Motherhood changes and refines us. No mother goes unchanged after motherhood. It is late nights and isolation. The flames of motherhood, the true hero’s journey," one person revealed, describing her own experience of realization.

"I love that you talk about it. Also all the so called geniuses, poets, writers, great personalities were able to accomplish all they did because their wives babysat their 8 kids at that time," someone else sighed in frustration.

"Couldn’t agree more. It’s the equivalent of men being able to work late, work weekends, put in the face time, to get ahead - whilst someone else is looking after their children," another wrote.

"I remember reading one comment in the daily routine of a successful writer. He had four kids and yet he could write for 6 hours daily during the day. Never once mentions his household manager, cook, cleaner, nanny—his wife," a commenter pointed out.

What do you think? Should more women be talking about this reality when it comes to the success of their male partners?

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Joy

15-year-old surprises his sister with a wedding dance and there's not a dry eye anywhere

The song starts with a recording of them singing together as children.

Avery Albrecht/TikTok

The beautiful bond of brother and sister

Weddings are often catalysts for happy tears, but sometimes an extra special moment or gesture pushes it into "everybody grab a tissue" territory.

This video is one of those. Don't say we didn't warn ya.

Avery Albrecht shared a clip from her wedding reception in which her baby brother asked her for a dance. But Albrecht had no idea what kind of surprise the 15-year-old and her parents had in store for her. As the music begins, we hear children's voices singing—the two of them singing Phil Collins' "You'll Be in My Heart" together as children. And then the real song begins, with the bride and her brother—along with everyone watching—in a puddle.

Watch all the way to the end:

"There wasn't a dry eye in the house," Albrecht shared. There doesn't appear to be a dry eye on the internet, either.

"Stop it!! It’s 4 am in Sydney, and I'm a 43-year-old man sobbing while hiding under a blanket with my wife and 2 kids on the same bed, 😭" shared one person. "Family is the most important precious thing in the world!! ❤️"

"I went from cracking up about a stupid Hello Kitty video to sobbing in under three minutes. That must be so confusing to my central nervous system," shared another.

"I have to stop watching these things at work… people are thinking I am depressed, 😂" wrote another.

Some people shared how much it reminded them of their close sibling relationships:

"One of the most beautiful things I’ve seen. And being a much older big sister of littles (not little anymore by a long shot), I know the exact place this came from."

"I don’t know if she’ll read this but sweetheart you are so lucky! Please give your baby brother a hug for me. I lost my little brother 19 years ago this past June while I was pregnant with my first born son. I named him after him. And miss him so very much. 😢❤️"

"My little brother had a severe case of cerebral palsy and Down syndrome. He’s gone, but as I am watching this video, I can’t stop wondering what my life would be if he was healthy and still around… same about my older sister, who had also passed away. Crying my heart out now."

"Awwwwwwwe! The sweetest! You can tell how close you both are! Me and my sister are 12 years apart and she got married when I was 12 and she moved out and I had THE HARDEST time and cried almost everyday for a month!! ! I still would go over to her house and spend the night all the time… and then when she had children I became the built in babysitter for my nieces and nephew (also my fave ppl on the planet) She’s always was and still my very best friend. ♥️♥️"

Here's to the beautiful bond siblings can share, the families that nurture those bonds and this sweet brother-sister pair who gave us all the cleansing cry we needed.

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