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12 tips for that perfect nature selfie that won't hurt anyone or anything.

Given some recent nature photo and selfie disasters, this is worth saying.

There are some basic things we all know need to be true if you want to elevate a selfie from "cool pic" to "truly epic."

Things like finding good light (nobody wants to see a washed-out ghost), putting your face in the top left or right of the frame (obey the rule of thirds!) and, for Pete's sake, show some emotion! Do you really want your Tinder pic to look like you're the most boring person on Earth?

And of course, if all else fails, get an awesome photo partner or background:


Bam. Bill Nye, President Barack Obama, and Neil deGrasse Tyson take a truly epic selfie. Image from The White House/Flickr.

However, there have been some ... upsetting ... examples in the news lately of people taking that last tip too far, especially when it comes to selfies with wild animals in the great outdoors.

So here are a few tips for taking selfies in the wild.

You know, so you can get your sweet profile pic without looking like a jerk on social media and/or accidentally murdering a helpless dolphin.

1. First of all, just don't mess around with wild animals.

800 pounds of leave it alone. Image from Bobisbob/Wikipedia.

Always respect an animal's personal (creatural?) space. Wild animals can be dangerous and unpredictable, but more than that, they are not our pets. They don't want to be touched. They want to be left alone.

2. So, no, you should not try to pose with a shark.

Instead of drawing attention to bad behavior, have an adorable little shark. Image from Jeff Kubina/Flickr.

Earlier this week, a Florida man found a shark stuck in the beach surf. Instead of letting it be or helping it return to deeper waters, he grabbed it by the tail and dragged it further up onto the sand for a photo op.

Dude. No. How about you just take a regular picture instead? I mean, it's a shark! It's already interesting without your face in the pictures as well.

3. You should not manhandle a peacock.

Image from boerge30/Pixabay.

Over the weekend, two peacocks died at a China's Yunnan Zoo after visitors picked them up and handled them roughly in their quest for a great photo op. They even plucked out the peacock's feathers as souvenirs! Come on, people! Zoo animals aren't pets! And you can buy a peacock feather at a craft store for like a dollar. Don't yank one out of a living creature.

What you SHOULD do is this: Wait for it to spread out that amazing tail fan and take a selfie with it in the background. Boom. Still you and a peacock in the same selfie, but this way you don't hurt it, and it doesn't hate you and die.

4. For the love of all that is good, leave the f**king dolphins in the water.

La Plata dolphins are so rare, we don't have many good pictures of them not being attacked by beachgoers. Instead, look at this happy bottlenose dolphin. Image from Claudia14/Pixabay.

Last week a group of ahem — asshats — and I call them that because the real term would get me banned from the Internet (yes, the entire Internet) —killed a rare La Plata dolphin in Santa Teresita, Argentina, after removing it from the water and passing it around the beach so people could take selfies with it.

If they really wanted a picture of the rare animal, why not use an underwater camera instead? Or take a photo of it in the water swimming happily?

And it's not just animals that have been treated badly...

5. Sorry, friends, but nature is not improved by your initials or declarations of love.

Image from Jim Larrison/Flickr.

In fact, carving your name into trees and rocks can land you in a lot of hot water. Actress Vanessa Hudgens ("High School Musical," "Grease: Live") and her boyfriend are being investigated after posting Instagram pictures of their names carved into the rocks of the Coconino National Forest in Arizona.

Pro-tip, Vanessa: Next time you're looking for a way to proclaim your eternal love, do it in a Disney Channel musical rather than by permanently defacing nature.

This isn't the boyfriend, btw. Just a singy-twirly dude. GIF from "High School Musical 3."

Don't be like them. And don't be the person who is under investigation for painting random, poorly drawn faces in 10 different national parks, or like the guys who now have to pay fines and restitution after ruining an ancient rock formation (those guys got kicked out of the Boy Scouts, too — that's how serious of an offense this is).

So that's a bunch of don'ts. But what *can* you do to take better selfies in the wild?

6. Be respectful. Take photos from a distance.

The best way to take pictures of wild animals is usually from a distance, which is why real-life wildlife photographers often use long-distance telephoto lenses.

Which, by the way, you can now get for your phone.


Attachments like these add a fish-eye effect, but you can get long-distance lens too. Image from PolicyRocker15/Wikimedia Commons.

7. Make sure you have solid footing and aren't in danger.

You might think this piece of advice is self-explanatory or so obvious it goes without saying. But yet:

This is Hālona Blowhole in Hawaii.

Image from Napnet/Wikimedia Commons.

Incredible, isn't it?

As pretty as it is, it's already killed four people.

Image

Image from Umbris/Wikimedia Commons.

The blowhole is totally unpredictable, and the nearby ocean currents are legendarily strong, meaning many people have been swept out to sea while trying to score a sweet vacation snapshot.

No photo is worth dying for.

8. Instead, drink in the sights with your eyes and let Instagram take care of itself for a little while.

Image from Jaden Maru/Flickr.

9. That way you can appreciate Earth's amazing natural beauty.

Image from Adam Greig/Flickr.

10. Without annoying the wildlife or risking your own life.


Image from jsogo/Flickr.

11. Just remember to take your pics from a safe distance, and when you get home then you can get those sweet, sweet, Facebook likes.

Image from Wicker Paradise/Flickr.

(Or Reddit karma. Or retweets. Or Instagram double-taps. Or Snapchat replays.)

12. And if all else fails, there's always Photoshop.

Photomontage by Mmxx/Wikimedia Commons.

Joy

American woman forced to change her name after learning what it means in Australia

Things are a bit different Down Under.

via Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels and Ethan Brooke/Pexels

A woman is shocked to learn that her name means something totally different in Australia.

Devyn Hales, 22, from California, recently moved to Sydney, Australia, on a one-year working visa and quickly learned that her name wouldn’t work Down Under. It all started when a group of men made fun of her on St. Patrick’s Day.

After she introduced herself as Devyn, the men laughed at her. "They burst out laughing, and when I asked them why, they told me devon is processed lunch meat,” she told The Daily Mail. It's similar to baloney, so I introduce myself as Dev now,” she said in a viral TikTok video with over 1.7 million views.

For those who have never been to Australia, Devon is a processed meat product usually cut into slices and served on sandwiches. It is usually made up of pork, basic spices and a binder. Devon is affordable because people buy it in bulk and it’s often fed to children. Australians also enjoy eating it fried, like spam. It is also known by other names such as fritz, circle meat, Berlina and polony, depending on where one lives on the continent. It's like in America, where people refer to cola as pop, soda, or Coke, depending on where they live in the country.

So, one can easily see why a young woman wouldn’t want to refer to herself as a processed meat product that can be likened to boloney or spam. "Wow, love that for us," another woman named Devyn wrote in the comments. “Tell me the name thing isn't true,” a woman called Devon added.

@dhalesss

#fypシ #australia #americaninaustralia #sydney #aussie

Besides changing her name, Dev shared some other differences between living in Australia and her home country.

“So everyone wears slides. I feel like I'm the only one with 'thongs'—flip-flops—that have the little thing in the middle of your big toe. Everyone wears slides,” she said. Everyone wears shorts that go down to your knees and that's a big thing here.”

Dev also noted that there are a lot of guys in Australia named Lachlan, Felix and Jack.

She was also thrown off by the sound of the plentiful magpies in Australia. According to Dev, they sound a lot like crying children with throat infections. “The birds threw me off,” she said before making an impression that many people in the comments thought was close to perfect. "The birds is so spot on," Jess wrote. "The birds, I will truly never get used to it," Marissa added.

One issue that many Americans face when moving to Australia is that it is more expensive than the United States. However, many Americans who move to Australia love the work-life balance. Brooke Laven, a brand strategist in the fitness industry who moved there from the U.S., says that Aussies have the “perfect work-life balance” and that they are “hard-working” but “know where to draw the line.”

Despite the initial cultural shocks, Devyn is embracing her new life in Australia with a positive outlook. “The coffee is a lot better in Australia, too,” she added with a smile, inspiring others to see the bright side of cultural differences.

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australia
Pop Culture

Woman's response to being called a 'natural beauty' has other women applauding

She makes a great point.

@tallulah.roseb/TikTok

Maybe she's born with it. But maybe it just modern day cosmetics.

A woman named Tallulah Rose recently went viral after sharing a well-intentioned, but oh-so misinformed compliment men tend to give her. It left a lot of other women nodding in agreement, because it revealed what still seems to be a common beauty myth.

"I actually just, like, don't understand men and how their brain works sometimes because today I was just minding my own business when this guy comes up to me and is like ‘you are so elegant, you are such a natural beauty,'" she said in the clip.

Of course, Rose is positive any other woman would instantly know that the beauty men are responding to is anything but natural.

“I think a woman can take one look at me and be like … this is fake,” she said before breaking down the costs of enhancements she’s made.

“My jawline cost $10,000, okay? My lips are clearly done. My hair is $2000, my lashes are $200 every two weeks.”

jawline cosmetic surgery, natural cosmetic procedures

"My jawline costs $10,000, okay?"

@tallulah.roseb/TikTok

She then lifted her bangs to show a wrinkle-less forehead and immovable eyebrows, thanks to Botox or some other kind of anti-wrinkle injection. Plus, she has “enough makeup on to season a f***ing wok.”

Still, men will wistfully tell her “ 'they don't make them like you do these days.” to which Rose quipped, “yes they do with a needle and a scalpel!”

plastic surgery, cosmetic procedures

"They don't make 'em like you these days…yes they do! With a needle and a scalpel!"

@tallulah.roseb/TikTok

Since sharing this hot take, Rose’s video has garnered over 12 million views on TikTok and has been shared across several platforms. Most of the comments came from women who have had their own fair share of this experience.

Some were just as hilarious as the original video.

"My husband was like 'please never get Botox' If I could raise my eyebrows at him I would have,” one person wrote.

Another added, ““I’ve had male friends remark how I don’t wear heavy makeup like other girls. I spend at least 30 mins a day putting my face on.”

Over on X, people were just refreshed by Rose’s honesty.

Rose told news.com.au that many men “genuinely can’t tell the difference between a natural woman and a woman that has had cosmetic surgery,” primarily due to seeing celebrities who have had work done and assuming that’s the standard. She’ll often ask male friends to name a celebrity crush, and “they’ll name someone that has clearly had work done but they are just quite clueless to it.”

And that is really where the important conversation comes in. Unrealistic beauty standards aren’t necessarily a new issue. But now the paradox of cosmetic procedures being stigmatized while at the same time not even acknowledged in much of what is touted as natural beauty puts women in an impossible position. They can’t naturally live up to these expectations, and then are labeled as fake if they do make efforts to look enhanced (which is the new normal…make it make sense).

Point is: Praising a woman for her “natural beauty” might be intended as a compliment. But for many, it’s neither true, nor a compliment.

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community
Pop Culture

SNL sketch about George Washington's dream for America hailed an 'instant classic'

"People will be referencing it as one of the all time best SNL skits for years.”

Saturday Night Live/Youtube

Seriously, what were our forefathers thinking with our measuring system?

Ever stop to think how bizarre it is that the United States is one of the only countries to not use the metric system? Or how it uses the word “football” to describe a sport that, unlike fútbol, barely uses the feet at all?

What must our forefathers have been thinking as they were creating this brave new world?

Wonder no further. All this and more is explored in a recent Saturday Night Live sketch that folks are hailing as an “instant classic.”

The hilarious clip takes place during the American Revolution, where George Washington rallies his troops with an impassioned speech about his future hopes for their fledgling country…all the while poking fun at America’s nonsensical measurements and language rules.

Like seriously, liters and milliliters for soda, wine and alcohol but gallons, pints, and quarters for milk and paint? And no “u” after “o” in words like “armor” and “color” but “glamour” is okay?

The inherent humor in the scene is only amplified by comedian and host Nate Bargatze’s understated, deadpan delivery of Washington. Bargatze had quite a few hits during his hosting stint—including an opening monologue that acted as a mini comedy set—but this performance takes the cake.

Watch:

All in all, people have been applauding the sketch, noting that it harkened back to what “SNL” does best, having fun with the simple things.

Here’s what folks are saying:

“This skit is an instant classic. I think people will be referencing it as one of the all time best SNL skits for years.”

“Dear SNL, whoever wrote this sketch, PLEASE let them write many many MANY more!”

“Instantly one of my favorite SNL sketches of all time!!!”

“I’m not lying when I say I have watched this sketch about 10 times and laughed just as hard every time.”

“This may be my favorite sketch ever. This is absolutely brilliant.”


There’s more where that came from. Catch even more of Bargatze’s “SNL” episode here.


This article originally appeared on 10.30.23

From Your Site Articles
humor
Family

Dad and son had no idea their pet octopus would soon hatch 50 eggs. Cue wholesome chaos.

It's an epic saga that's wholesome, captivating and heartfelt all at once.

Representative Image from Canva

Their journey became the best nature show on social media.

What started as a wholesome father-son bonding activity quickly became a full blown TikTok sensation, all thanks to one octopus. Actually…make that fifty octopuses.

Cameron Clifford of Edmond, Oklahoma, had promised to get his cephalopod-obsessed 9-year old Cal their very own pet octopus. After making a call to a local aquarium, Clifford made good on that promise, and a California two-spot (or bimac) octopus, which they would name Terrance, arrived via mail order. Cue Cal’s instant tears of joy.

Only, in hindsight, they might have wanted to name him Teresa instead, because only two months later, Terrance’s already too-small tank was filled with dozens of eggs.


"We kind of estimate there was about between 40 and 70 eggs but every one that hatched, that I saw, I was able to catch and contain. It was exactly 50," Clifford told Good Morning America.

As Clifford explains in one TikTok video (using a posh british voice for the narration, making it even more National Geographic-esque), once female bimac octopuses lay eggs, that usually signals the end of their life cycle, and they stop taking care of themselves in order to protect their young.

@doctoktopus Terrance signals the end of her life-cyxle, but we have no idea how mich time we have left wirh her. #octopus #marinebiology #shrimpdaddy #saltwateraquarium #fyp #cephalopod #petoctopus #aquarium #octomom #biology #mom ♬ Heartbeats - Remastered 2023 - José González

So, even though Terrance (who was eventually renamed Terry) could recognize Clifford and Cal, nothing could coax her out of her cave after the eggs were laid. However, latching onto their arms remained one of her favorite pastimes.

Terrance’s eggs were at first deemed infertile by several experts that Clifford talked to, which made her upcoming demise all the more tragic. When the unexpected miracle finally did happen, Clifford begged for other aquariums in his area to take the hatchlings. They all declined.

So naturally, he reached out to TikTok. He shared the previously private videos documenting their journey, including the insane saga of capturing each newly hatched octopus and putting it in its own incubated container, so that they wouldn’t eat each other. The Clifford home honestly became a bona fide marine biologist training center. Only with exponentially more puns.

Behold, "Clamsterdam":

@doctoktopus SOONERS DEFEAT DARWIN IN BIG 12 CONF. CHAMPIONSHIP 🏈 🐙 #octopus #marinebiology #shrimpdaddy #saltwateraquarium #fyp #cephalopod #saltwatertank #aquarium #octomom #mom #clambake #poseidon #tank ♬ original sound - Shoptopus

Speaking of puns, viewers also helped give each of the octo-babies. Some examples include InverteBrett, Swim Shady, Bill Nye the Octopi, Sea-yonce and Jay-Sea…you get the picture.

Luckily, after Clifford’s account went mega viral, other aquariums, universities and research facilities agreed to give them homes, per USA Today.

Clifford might be out thousands of dollars—and hours—on his impromptu project, but he wouldn't trade it for the world.

@doctoktopus 😳 #octopus #marinebiology #shrimpdaddy #saltwateraquarium #fyp #cephalopod #petoctopus #octomom #biology #saltwatertank #mom ♬ original sound - Shoptopus

"As far as regrets, there's so many," he told USA Today. "I wish I wouldn't have opened that valve that way and dumped all that dirty seawater onto my kids' white carpet. That's certainly a regret. But overall, no, it's been an absolutely fun experience, not just for me, but also for my kids."

And in case you’re wondering: Yes, Terrence is still, miraculously, alive. Though she is expected to die in the next several weeks, the Cliffords are more than prepared to be surprised. Again.

Though Clifford attests that one should probably refrain from have an octopus for a pet, he tells his followers that “you will learn a lot about yourself” by taking care of one.

“There’s always some valve or seal that’s not completely closed, and your storm resistant carpet isn’t rated for gallons and gallons of seawater. You’ll learn that seawater and electricity don’t always get along. You will learn new things and meet incredible people and will learn that wildlife is magnificent. But most of all, you’ll learn to love a not-so-tiny octopus like Terrance.”

Follow along on more of Clifford and Cal's octopus adventures on TikTok.

From Your Site Articles
joy
Identity

Mom has the most hilarious response to her daughter's gay friend asking to sleep over

The mother handled it fabulously.

Image created from @maymaybarclay Twitter page.

The courage to speak up to join in the fun.

Meet Mason Brian Barclay, a teen and self-described "very homosexual male." He recently wanted to attend a sleepover at his "new best friend" Houston's house, because teens are gonna teen. But he's a boy, and everyone knows boys aren't allowed to attend girls' sleepovers, because of cooties/patriarchal norms.

So he behaved more maturely than most adults, and crafted a long text message to Houston's mom, Mrs. Shelton, in which he politely asked for permission to attend Houston's sleepover.


"I think the common meaning behind only allowing the same sex to share sleepovers is due to the typical interest in the opposite sex, when, in this case, I do not like the opposite sex," he explained in the text.


Mrs. Shelton's response was so good that Mason tweeted it out and it went viral:

"Hmm. Well my husband is hot. Should I worry?" she responded.

via GIPHY

Evidently Mason found Mrs. Shelton's text hilarious. So does Twitter.

And others are just wondering if the sleepover is on, or not??

Others need to know if Houston's dad lives up to the hype:

This article originally appeared on 11.26.18

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