upworthy
Add Upworthy to your Google News feed.
Google News Button
More

These 5 voters changed their mind last night. We asked them why.

Last night, tens of millions of Americans watched Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump spar on the economy, race, and national security in the first general election debate. This morning, some are planning to vote a different way than they were before.

Photo by Steve Pope/Getty Images.

After the cameras were off, we asked our followers on social media if seeing the two major party nominees go toe-to-toe for the first time persuaded them to change their minds — from Clinton to Trump, Trump to Clinton, third-party to either candidate, either candidate to third-party, or simply from not voting to voting.


For many who spoke to us, the candidates' temperament, judgment, and tone were key factors in their decision to switch.

Here's what they said:

Jessica Morello, New Jersey, general manager, retail pharmacy chain

Photo by Jessica Morello/Facebook, used with permission.

Was: Not going to vote

Now: Clinton

Why she wasn't going to vote: "In past years I always felt like there was one candidate that most reflected my beliefs and needs as a citizen. And I felt that they had reasonable plans and were believable. This year, it's almost embarrassing that these are our choices. I think it's a direct reflection of the result of our declining education system, that these were the two chosen."

What watching the debate was like: "I was very unsettled, and had trouble sleeping. It scared me that Trump could act like that, in such a high esteemed forum, and that so much of the country is still going to vote for him...

We need someone who can build and foster meaningful relationships with other governments. Someone who is willing to make the changes necessary to elevate our country back to where it once was. Trump can't even behave himself in a respectful manner in a controlled public forum."

What she thought of Clinton's performance: "I give her a lot of credit for keeping her cool as long as she did. Lester Holt was doing a pitiful job as moderator. She responded to the questions with facts, plans, specifics. Some of her plans are idealistic, and may not be reasonable, but she answered the questions."

The moment she changed her mind: "When Trump was talking about how he wanted to institute 'stop & frisk' in Chicago and Lester Holt interrupted him telling him that it was ruled unconstitutional. Trump said 'No, you're wrong' and went into a crazy rant."

Could she change her mind again? "I'm going to continue to watch the debates, but I can't imagine anything will happen that will change my vote. Even if my vote does nothing but cancels out a vote for Trump. That's good enough for me."

Shane Foster, California, video producer

Photo by Shane Foster/Twitter, used with permission.

Was: Clinton

Now: Trump

Why he changed his mind: "Mostly Clinton [came] off as if she's better. She was condescending. Yes, Trump was too, but she's had influence in office."

Why Clinton's experience worked against her: "I don't see much improvement in this country. At least Trump has a completely different approach ... why help a country with money slowly owning us while we give them money? If they can pay, why not charge?"

What matters most about the candidates: "Hillary might be calm, she might have demeanor, but I don't think she can get it done. Trump's not much better, but at least he's not doing what everyone else is doing that has led this country down the tube."

William Clark, Wisconsin, driver

Photo by William Clark, used with permission.

Was: Johnson

Now: Clinton

How he saw the debate: "All I heard was rhetoric from the Donald. He also treated the debate and Hillary with disrespect. He is hiding something in his taxes, which I don't like. All in all, he was not presidential at all."

His bottom line: "Donald Trump has anger issues, is easily disturbed, and cannot even keep composure for two hours. Also, Hillary did a great job."

Why he's no longer voting third party: "The race is too tight and Hillary adopted many of Bernie's positions."

Tyler Frederick, Kentucky, student

Photo by Tyler Frederick, used with permission.

Was: Johnson

Now: Clinton

Why he registered as a Democrat earlier this year: "I voted for Bernie Sanders in the primary. It's not that I agreed with everything he said but I loved that he was an outsider and was challenging the status quo, both inside the Democrat party and across the political spectrum to begin with. I was not a fan of Secretary Clinton but she won the democratic primary relatively fair and square and I accepted that."

What was important to him before the debate: "I started to hear more and more about Gary Johnson of the Libertarian party. And though I didn't agree with much of his economic policy, I had decided that my vote would be better off supporting a third party candidate. Kentucky isn't a battleground state and isn't even leaning red; it's solid red and there's no doubt in my mind that Donald Trump will win our electoral votes."

What he saw last night: "She came prepared and brought facts to the table whereas he had done more of his classical heat responses with not a lot of substance, just emotion; she had so many zingers and one liners that killed. I was comparing it to a boxing match the entire night and at first they danced around each other and check each other, their opponent, out but once the match really started Trump would go for a punch and Hillary would nail one right in the sweet spot. It became so obvious she knew she was beating him by her big smile toward the end. I liked seeing her be so comfortable, so poised."

What he thinks now: "I'm not entirely convinced just yet, for I still think my single vote for Hillary in a red state will do next to nothing, but I will say this: She demonstrated to me that she is the most qualified individual in this presidential race — Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Green, or Independent."

Emily Hatton, Kentucky, stay-at-home mom

Photo by Emily Hatton.

Was: Not going to vote.

Now: Clinton

How she voted in the past: "I have voted in past elections. My first election was for Bush's second term and I voted for Bush (my family in NJ is a very Republican cop family). The next election I was very enthusiastic about Obama and voted for him. The last election I did not vote. I was let down by Obama and it was some time during his first term that I decided voting is pointless."

Why she stopped voting: "I wasn't going to vote because truthfully, I don't believe it matters towards the outcome of the presidency. I believe voting is something pushed heavily on society to make us feel like we have a say and make most people feel comfortable enough about their say in government that they don't bother doing any other activism that might directly allow people to actually effect real change."

What she thought after watching Trump: "He couldn't stay on topic. He rambled a lot about irrelevant things. He could not just make a point and then stop talking. He's not persuasive. He's not coherent. He's unfit to lead because he can't communicate effectively at all."

How she made her choice: "Hillary does seem corrupt, but she doesn't seem any more corrupt than any other politician. I would rather have someone who conducts themselves professionally, can communicate effectively, has the middle class interest at heart (or so she claims), and has experience but might be doing things with her own interests truly at heart.

I wish a candidate like Trump would be an option, but who clearly cares about making America great again for the people, and not for themselves. Someone who isn't clearly racist and sexist."

How she feels about voting, after watching: "I was so compelled I even registered to vote online halfway through the debate."

If what you saw in the debate impressed you, disgusted you, or even made you feel somewhere in-between, you can find out how to register right here — you've only got two weeks left in many states.
old letter, 1959, tony trapani, letter, secret letters, love letter, love stories, dads, fatherhood, father and son, parents, parenting
via SHVETS production/Pexels and Suzy Hazelwood/Pexels
Tony Trapani discovers a letter his wife hid from him since 1959.

Writing a letter is truly a lost art form, and many young people will never know the joy of it. You had to choose your words carefully and say everything you wanted to say. Once you sent it off, there was no way to be sure it was delivered. No way to know if it had been opened or read. You couldn't take it back or send it again. You just put it in the mailbox and hoped for the best. It was excruciating and magical all at the same time.

One story of a letter never delivered has captured the hearts of readers everywhere. A heart-warming local news story gone viral for the best reasons.


Tony Trapani and his wife were married for 50 years despite the heartache of being unable to have children. "She wanted children,” Trapani told Fox 17. "She couldn't have any. She tried and tried." Even though they endured the pain of infertility, Tony's love for his wife never wavered and he cherished every moment they spent together.

letter, secret letters, love letter, love stories, dads, fatherhood, father and son, parents, parenting Tony Trapani received the most important letter of his life, but he didn't see it for 50 years Photo by Álvaro Serrano on Unsplash

After his wife passed away when Tony was 81 years old, he undertook the heartbreaking task of sorting out all of her belongings. In particular was a mountain of papers stuffed into filing cabinets. Trapani diligently went through every single one.

That’s when he stumbled upon a carefully concealed letter in a filing cabinet hidden for over half a century.

The letter was addressed to Tony and dated March 1959, but this was the first time he had seen it. His wife must have opened it, read it and hid it from him. The letter came from Shirley Childress, a woman Tony had once been close with before his marriage. She reached out, reminiscing about their past and revealing a secret that would change Tony's world forever.

"Dear Tony, I bet you are surprised to hear from me after so many years. I was just thinking about you tonight like so many other nights. But I thought I would write you and find out how you are," the letter reads. "Tony, please don't be angry or surprised to hear this. I have a little boy. He is five-years- old now - grey eyes and beautiful black hair. What I am trying to say Tony is he is your son."



"Please, Tony if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, please come and see him," Shirley wrote in the letter. "Every day he asks me where is his daddy and believe me Tony I can't even answer him anymore. I would be forever grateful to you if you would just see him. ... I'll close now hoping and praying you will answer. P.S. His name is Samuel Duane."

Now, Tony faced the fact that he had a son that would be around 60 years old and he set out to find him.

For over a year, Trapani’s sister tried to track down the mysterious Samuel Duane Childress, until she finally contacted his wife, Donna.

Tony and Samuel met in January 2015 and he felt like a new dad. After meeting his father, Samuel said his mother told him she sent the letter, but Tony never responded. "Why my wife didn't tell me," said Trapani, "I don't know. She wanted children. She couldn't have any. She tried and tried."

It's easy to understand why it may have been hard for Trapani's late wife, Dolly, to pass along that sort of news. Though we'll never know what exactly must have been in her heart and mind when she hid the letter all those years ago.

"I always asked my mom, I said, 'Well what does he look like?'' Samuel said. "She said, 'Well, go look in the mirror."

The two met and caught up on a lifetime of memories with the understanding that they could never change the past. "Just to know him now is so important to me. It's going to fill that void," Samuel said.

But just to be sure, Tony took a paternity test to ensure they were father and son. Stunning everyone involved, the test came back negative. Tony was not the father.


letter, secret letters, love letter, love stories, dads, fatherhood, father and son, parents, parenting Tony and Samuel didn't waste time thinking about what might have been if he'd seen the letter earlier. Photo by Ire Photocreative on Unsplash

The news upset Tony and Samuel, but they still had a unique bond. They shared a relationship with Samuel’s mother and both have been on an incredibly wild ride after Tony found the mysterious letter.

“They're keeping that bond,” Donna said. “That paper doesn't mean anything to him. That bond has been made—and we're going to move on from here.”

Tony Trapani passed away in 2017, leaving him just two short years to connect with the man he once believed to be his son. If he'd seen the letter earlier, maybe they would have had more time. But that's all in the past, and by all accounts the men treasured the time they got together, and the relationship that they did have — not the one they wished for.

This article originally appeared earlier this year. It has been updated.

death, dying, hospice, fear of dying, hospice nurse, mortality, aging, seniors, spirituality, visions, visioning
via Canva Photos

A nurse explains how 'visioning' 3-4 weeks before death works.

Death is something, like it or not, we all must face. It's the final mystery, and it's totally normal to feel scared of the impending process. Experts say a few things can help, including using our fear to live a purposeful life and even making jokes, or using 'gallows humor'. One bit of good news is that we tend to get a little bit less afraid of death as we age. But in general, it helps to not shy away from death completely. Learning and talking about it is actually a good thing.

A new video by a hospice nurse shows an excellent reason for people to feel comfortable facing the unknown. Julie McFadden posts videos helping to demystify the dying process and bring comfort to people with a loved one in hospice care, or who may be dying themselves. Her profile reads, "Helping understand death to live better and die better." McFadden is also the author of the bestselling book, “Nothing to Fear.”


Hospice Nurse Julie has earned over half a million subscribers and has witnessed over a hundred deaths. In a recent video, she reveals that people are often comforted by friends and relatives who have passed away in their final days.

She says that when people begin experiencing these visions, it’s a sign that they will be passing away within a few weeks.

"Here's one sign that someone is close to death that most people don't believe happens,” Julie begins the video.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

"Usually a few weeks to a month before someone dies, if they're on hospice, they will start seeing dead loved ones, dead relatives, dead pets. This happens so often that we actually put it in our educational packets that we give to patients and their families when they come on hospice so they aren't surprised or scared when it happens,” she continues.

The experience is called visioning; although no one knows how or why it happens, it’s common among all her patients.

"We don't know why it happens, but we see it in definitely more than half of our patients," she continues.

People often believe that the visions are caused by a lack of oxygen to the brain. However, Julie says that isn’t true. “Because when it does happen, most people are alert and oriented and are at least a month from death, so they don't have low oxygen," she said.

The good news is that the visioning experience is almost always comforting for those who are nearing the end.


death, dying, hospice, fear of dying, hospice nurse, mortality, aging, seniors, spirituality, visions Dying patients may be visited 3-4 weeks before death by loved ones, deceased spouses, or even dead pets. Photo by Anirudh on Unsplash

It often involves relatives who 'come from the other side' to let them know everything will be okay and encourage them to let go and pass away. People also experience being taken on journeys with loved ones or having sensory experiences from the past, such as smelling their grandmother's perfume or father’s cigar.

These visitors can also appear several at a time. Patients might report the room feeling 'crowded' like they are being joined by many people at once. It's possible they may be visited by 'spirits' or people they don't know, though that's less common.

Christopher Kerr, a CEO of Hospice & Palliative Care, an organization that provides palliative care in Buffalo, New York, says that the relatives that often appear in these visions are people who protected and comforted the dying parent when they were alive. So, they may see a parent who nurtured them but not one they feared.

Kerr has extensively studied the mysterious phenomena that happen when people die but has no real explanation for why the visioning experience happens. “I have witnessed cases where what I was seeing was so profound, and the meaning for the patient was so clear and precise, that I almost felt like an intruder,” he told BBC Brazil. “And trying to decipher the etiology, the cause, seemed futile. I concluded that it was simply important to have reverence, that the fact that I could not explain the origin and process did not invalidate the experience for the patient.”

In a more in-depth video, Hospice Nurse Julie shares a real video of a dying woman experience visioning. It's extremely powerful:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Again, experts agree that once your loved one begins experiencing these visions, it's likely that they will pass on in the next 3-4 weeks. Remember that they are not a symptom to be treated or a concern to be addressed, as long as they aren't causing distress. They are simply a comforting sign of things to come.

It's comforting to know that for many, the final days of life may not be filled with pain and fear but instead with a sense of peace and joy. While we may never fully understand the reasons behind these mysterious visions, if they bring calm during such a daunting time, we can simply be grateful for their presence. They’re kind of like life, in general. In the end, we may not really know what it was all about, but we can be happy that it happened.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

time off requests, pto, sick leave, gen z manager, manager positions, asking for time off

This Manager thinks PTO is for vacation, not "life changing events."

What does it take to be a good boss? You can answer this a million different ways—by being a clear communicator, earning employee trust, providing constructive feedback, and fostering a positive and supportive work environment while also being open to feedback and recognizing your team's contributions—but really, it all seems to stem from respecting your employees as fellow human beings.

Part of that means acknowledging that these employees have lives that are, frankly, more important to them than the job, and not penalizing them for it. One manager, and Gen Zer no less, seems to fully understand this basic principle, and folks are applauding her for it.


Elizabeth Beggs, who manages a five-person team for a packaging distribution company in Virginia, recently made a TikTok sharing which time-off requests she “rejects. ”You’ll see why “rejects” is in quotes shortly.

One example: when a female rep notified Beggs that she was likely having a miscarriage. After the team member asked how she can file for time off to see to the issue, Beggs immediately responded, “Girl, go to the doctor! We’re not submitting time off for that!”

In Beggs’ mind, PTO is for “vacation,” not medical emergencies. What a concept.

@bunchesofbeggs

Edited to clarify- 1. My team is all salary. 2. These examples are not all recent or from my current position. 3. My team works hard and hits thier KPIs above and beyond. Time off is meant to recharge and be used how you need it, not to handle life changing events #mangers #corporate #genzmanagers #sales #vetstocorporate #veterans

Beggs went on to explain a couple more situations, like when one employee—a parent—was “up all night” with their sick kid. And her last one wasn’t even negative—she had an employee who wanted to work a half-day to do something nice for their anniversary.

“Seriously, if any of these triggered anyone, then you need to evaluate how you run your team as a manager,” she concluded.

By and large, the response to Beggs’ management style has been overwhelmingly positive, and people seem to find it completely refreshing.

“You are not a manager, you’re a LEADER,” one person wrote.

@bunchesofbeggs

Everything you do should be to better your team, not to make your life easier #leadership #ownership #corporatelife #veteran #military

Another said, “The better you treat your employees, the more loyal they will be and the better work they will put out. Most people do not understand how management works.”

A few noted how this attitude seems to be more present among younger leaders. One person commented, "millennial manager here. My team members are human first, employees second. Like just go do what you want but get the work done too.”

Another joked that “Boomer managers could NEVER.”

Beggs would later clarify this doesn’t mean she doesn't have clear productivity expectations for her team (who work on salary). Perhaps if she had a team member not making their KPIs (key performance indicators), there would be an additional conversation surrounding time off, but there is still an inherent respect as a fellow human being. Which, to her, means treating bona fide time off as a way to “recharge and be used how you need it, not to handle life changing events.”

@bunchesofbeggs

If you’re planning does not account for people being human- it’s bad planning #genzleaders #armyvet #militaryvet #genz #corporatelife #corporate #manager #timeoff

Younger generations might get labeled “lazy” or “entitled,” but they are also the ones fighting to change the status quo so that we all may be treated less like cogs in the machine, and more like actual human beings. Its leaders like Beggs who show that operating in new ways doesn't compromise productivity—it, in fact, enhances it. We might not be able to change the global standard overnight, but we certainly aren’t going to get to a better place without leaders who choose to serve their community rather than a bottom line.

This article originally appeared in March.

Community

Uber driver with Tourette's goes viral sharing her unforgettable interactions with riders

"Honesty, humor, and human connection can change the way the world sees Tourette’s."

uber driver, passenger, ride share, tourette syndrome

A woman drives an Uber. A passenger gets in.

Not all heroes wear capes, but some do drive Uber. Jeanna DiVietro is one such hero who has a big laugh, infectious positivity, and the ability to be so vulnerable that she puts many of her passengers at ease. In fact, some seem to become "unexpected friends" in just five minutes flat.

The thing is, DiVietro has Tourette Syndrome, which presents in tics, both physical and vocal. Rather than letting that be a barrier for her, she uses it as a way to educate others. With the rider's permission, of course, she films the interactions and shares them on social media to reach a larger audience.


And she's simply delightful while doing it. In many videos, she has at least one passenger sitting in the front seat and explains to them that she has Tourette Syndrome. In one clip, there's a woman up front when one of DiVietro's tics causes her to scream. They both wind up laughing, with the passenger exclaiming, "This is the best Uber ride ever!" Our driver responds, "Oh yay, I'm so excited!" This is followed by the yelling of "Wh--e!" and again they both laugh. "You're not a wh--e," she assures the rider, who jokingly quips back, "I might be!"

Here's where DiVietro begins to educate. She shares, "I've always had a great attitude with Tourette Syndrome. I just want to help other people have a good attitude too. So that way they can accomplish things that they never thought they were ever able to accomplish. Look at me, I'm an Uber driver, traveling nationwide. I'm also a photographer." She then screams, "Click click b---h!" to which our understanding passenger laughs, "Did you get the picture? Was it my good side?"

The comments are completely understanding and supportive. This clip alone has nearly half a million likes and thousands of comments. One person suggests, "She needs a full-on SERIES!"

Another admits, " This is an Uber ride I would love! My husband says I'm not supposed to laugh, it's rude. Is it considered rude? Because this is hilarious." DiVietro puts her at ease, writing, "No it's not rude, because I too am laughing!"

One person even asks, "Wait are you the lady who picked up a passenger who also had Tourette's? That was the best video!" DiVietro answers, "Yes I am and thank you!"

It turns out the clip in question involved a man in Evansville whom she notes did not, in fact, have the disorder but was "playing along." But, she shares, she "was not offended one bit." They seemed to have an ultimate blast.

Another heartwarming clip shows DiVietro, having presumably explained that she has Tourette Syndrome to a young man, laughing uproariously when he mishears "Tourette's" it as "T-Rex." "I need to Google 'how do I help T-Rex?'" She then explains the correct word, which leads them to finding their inner dinosaurs and roaring a few times.

The passenger tells her that he's a rapper (CEO DEE) and she's incredibly supportive, immediately asking where she can listen to his music. Once again, the comment section doesn't disappoint. They link to his Instagram and share it with DiVietro.

Others in the comments focus on the dinosaur of it all. "This is so funny. The dinosaur impersonation took me out." Another notes that is seems to be a lovely plutonic connection "What do you get when you put a guy with the munchies and a female "t-rex" in the same car? A beautiful friendship."

Currently, there's a fan-funded documentary in the making. According to DiVietro's website, it will document her life in and out of Uber across the South and the Midwest. "This isn’t just a road trip. It’s a movement to show that honesty, humor, and human connection can change the way the world sees Tourette’s."

As exemplified by DiVietro's vocal tics, Tourette's is one type of tic disorder. According to their informational website Tourette.org, it's "a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects children, adolescents and adults. The condition is characterized by sudden, involuntary movements and/or sounds called tics. Tics can range from mild/inconsequential to moderate and severe, and are disabling in some cases."

Tourette Syndrome is explained. www.youtube.com, Tourette Association of America

DiVietro doesn't let this disorder define her. On the contrary, she uses it to sparkle and clearly make beautiful connections. The hope is that she is able to inspire others to do the same.

time, neil degrasse tyson, time flies, perception of time. clock, science,

A clock and Neil deGrasse Tyson.

When you’re a kid, time passes a lot more slowly than when you’re an adult. At the age of seven, summer seems to go on forever, and the wait from New Year’s Day to Christmas feels like a decade. As an adult, time seems to go faster and faster until one weekend you’re putting up your Christmas lights though you swear you just took ‘em down a month ago.

Why does time seem to speed up as we get older? Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson recently explained the phenomenon in a video posted to Instagram. He also offered tips on how to slow the passage of time as you age. DeGrasse Tyson is one of the most popular science communicators in the world and the host of 2014's Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey and 2020’s Cosmos: Possible Worlds.


Why does time appear to speed up as we get older?


“When you're young, everything is new. Your brain is constantly recording fresh memories, and the more memory your brain stores, the longer the experience feels. But then something changes. As you get older, routines take over. Your brain stops saving so much detail. It switches to autopilot because everything feels familiar and predictable,” deGrasse Tyson explains. “And when your brain stores fewer new memories, your perception of time compresses. That's why childhood feels long, and adulthood feels like a blur.”


Steve Taylor, PhD, author of many best-selling books including Time Expansion Experience, The Leap, and Spiritual ScienceThe Leap, and Spiritual Science, agrees with deGrasse Tyson.

“This is mainly because, as children, we have so many new experiences, and so process a massive amount of perceptual information,” Taylor writes at Psychology Today. “Children also have an unfiltered and intense perception of the world, which makes their surroundings appear more vivid. However, as we get older, we have progressively fewer new experiences. Equally importantly, our perception of the world becomes more automatic. We grow progressively desensitized to our surroundings. As a result, we gradually absorb less information, which means time passes more quickly. Time is less stretched with information.”

How do we make time slow down?

There’s something a little depressing about the idea that time speeds up as we age because we have fallen into predictable routines. The good news is that we can break this cycle by changing our habits and having new experiences. The more novel information we can process and the less routine our lives become, the slower time will move.

DeGrasse Tyson believes that with some change in our behaviors, we can get back to longer summers and Christmases that aren’t perpetually around the corner.

“You can actually slow time down again. Do something unfamiliar,” deGrasse Tysons says. "Travel somewhere new. Break a routine you've repeated for years. Learn a skill your brain hasn't mapped yet. Because the more new memories your brain forms, the slower time feels as it passes. So if life feels like it's accelerating, it's not your age. It's your brain, and you can reboot it.”