+
upworthy
More

He was born a girl. He knew he was a boy. And what his parents did ... well, just take a look.

These parents are doing it right by accepting their child for who he is.

He was born a girl. He knew he was a boy. And what his parents did ... well, just take a look.

This story originally appeared 2.13.15


Parenting is about being the best mom or dad we can be to our kids. Sometimes it's simple. Other times, it might not be what we anticipated or imagined. But that doesn't really matter — because there's no straightforward manual for raising kids. And when we take on this gig, we're responsible for loving our children unconditionally.

Jeff and Hillary Whittington wanted to be parents.



They got pregnant and gave birth to a beautiful little girl. (Cuuuuute baby, right?!) They named her Ryland.

On Ryland's first birthday, they learned she was deaf.

Like any parents would be, Jeff and Hillary were sad when they learned the news because of the additional challenges Ryland would face. Ryland received cochlear implants and learned to speak and hear. Things were going well.

But Ryland needed them to know something else.


Ryland wanted everyone to know that she was a boy. Some people told Ryland's parents that it was "just a phase." But the thing about phases is that they end. Ryland's feelings and expression of them only got stronger.

Ryland's feelings were not a "phase."

Ryland was expressing who he was — a boy.

And the inability to be himself was too much to bear.

Shame is destructive and painful. And nobody — a child or an adult — should feel shame for who they are. Psychotherapist Ami B. Kaplan says: "Simply being different is enough for any child to develop some shame, but being different and getting messages from family, teachers, other kids and society that your difference is undesirable, less-than or something to be made fun of can create shame."

Ryland continued to share the truth.

It wasn't a phase. It was Ryland's reality.

So Ryland's parents did what any good parent should do. They listened and learned.

Jeff and Hillary reached out for help from professionals, learned everything they could, and came to the only conclusion that existed: Their child was transgender. Ryland was born with female anatomy, but Ryland's brain identifies as male.

No matter Ryland's gender, Ryland's parents wanted him *alive*.

Studies show that 41% of transgender adults have attempted suicide. Take a minute to think about that number. It's nine times higher than the average attempted suicide rate. Here's what we need to know: "Suicide attempts were less common among transgender and gender-nonconforming people who said their family ties had remained strong after they came out."

Makes complete sense, right? If you can live as your authentic self without discrimination or abuse because of who you are, you're going to be a lot happier.

Ryland's parents took that to heart. They began Ryland's transition.

They cut his hair, and he began dressing and living as a boy. They began using the correct gender pronouns: him and he.

And Ryland was happy.

You know what? The people who mattered did the right thing.

Even if they'd lost all of their friends and family, I know the Whittingtons would have honored Ryland and supported him in his transition. But fortunately, they were surrounded by a lot of good people, and most accepted Ryland for who he was.

'Cause here's the thing...

There are many tragedies that can happen to our children. This is not one.

Ryland is happy now that he gets to live as himself.

As his parents said, "He's still healthy, handsome, and extremely happy!"

No-strings attached parenting.

And there you have it. Parenting done right. When we become parents, we don't get to have our kids live out our ideal vision of who they'll be. We have to love and support them for who they are.

Don't stop yet!

Ryland's parents made an amazing video from which I created this story. Please watch it. I promise it's incredible and moving and it shares a very important lesson.

If you have a child who doesn't conform to society's gender norms, this is for you. If you are raising children who do conform to society's gender norms, this is for you, too, because it's up to you to raise accepting, loving children who will treat others with respect and kindness. And really, it's for everyone because the world can use more love, compassion, and empathy.

Want to help educate others and also spread some feel-good love? You can share this!

A pitbull stares at the window, looking for the mailman.


Dogs are naturally driven by a sense of purpose and a need for belonging, which are all part of their instinctual pack behavior. When a dog has a job to do, it taps into its needs for structure, purpose, and the feeling of contributing to its pack, which in a domestic setting translates to its human family.

But let’s be honest: In a traditional domestic setting, dogs have fewer chores they can do as they would on a farm or as part of a rescue unit. A doggy mom in Vancouver Island, Canada had fun with her dog’s purposeful uselessness by sharing the 5 “chores” her pitbull-Lab mix does around the house.

Keep ReadingShow less

A group of men look at paperwork.

The massive changes to the American workplace caused by the COVID-19 pandemic invited many to reconsider their professional lives. This reevaluation has led people to push for improved work-life balance, and many now are looking for work to provide a greater sense of meaning and purpose.

When the world returned to work after COVID, many believed they deserved to be treated better by their employers. This resulted in many taking a break from the workforce or changing professions altogether. It also helped usher in a more comfortable culture for calling out companies that don’t treat their employees respectfully.

Recently, a group of thousands came together on Reddit to expose the common mistruths that people often hear at the workplace. It all started when a Redditor named PretenstoKnow asked: "What's the most common lie employers tell their employees?" And over 2,600 people responded.

Keep ReadingShow less
Family

Mom calls out teacher who gave her son a 'zero' grade for not providing class with supplies

Her viral video sparked a debate as to whether or not providing school supplies should be mandatory for parents.

@shanittanicole/TikTok

A zero grade for not providing school supplies?

The debate as to whether or not parents should supply classroom supplies is not new. But as prices continue to rise, parents are growing more baffled as to how they can be expected by teachers to provide all the various glue sticks, colored pencils, rulers and other various items the incoming students might need.

What’s even more perplexing, however, is penalizing the children of parents who won’t (or can’t) provide them.

This was the case for Shanitta Nicole, who discovered her son received a zero grade in his new school for not bringing school supplies for the entire classroom.
Keep ReadingShow less
Photo Credit: William Fortunado via Canva

Amanda Seals breaks down history of DAP handshake

We've all seen people do it. Anywhere from basketball players on television to kids meeting up at the skating rink. Even former president Barack Obama when greeting a mixed group of men gave "DAP" to the Black men in the group, yet switched to a firm handshake when greeting the other men.

It was almost like watching the president code switch, but with body language, in a move that many Black Americans recognize as a gesture of acceptance and comradery. But did you know that there's an actual history behind the DAP that has nothing to do with looking cool? Social justice educator and actress, Amanda Seales, recently re-shared a clip from "The Real" where she was diving into the history of the handshake.

Seales, who has a master's degree in African American Studies from Columbia University, was also admittedly surprised when she learned there was a deeper meaning to the gesture.

Keep ReadingShow less
Health

Neuroscientist reveals perfect amount of time to spend on social media for your mental health

Over several weeks, the participants felt less loneliness, depression and anxiety.

@rachelle_summers/TikTok

Anyone can use this checklist.

There are pretty clear cut guidelines on how much screen time kids should have, but for adults…not so much. And perhaps it’s this lack of clarity that leaves people to go on full blown digital detoxes or get off social media entirely.

And while there is certainly a case to be made for that decision, for many of us, that isn’t quite feasible—especially in certain lines of work.

Luckily, according to neuroscientist Rachelle Summers, there is a way we can still be on social media, without being subjected to its negative side effects.
Keep ReadingShow less
Photo by Kats Weil on Unsplash

Ready for a refreshingly wholesome story?

The stereotypical image we get of bachelor parties is a booze-filled evening of depravity and bad choices. Followed of course by a massive hangover…and some regrets.

And granted, there are plenty of viral videos to show that this is sometimes the case. But there are also plenty of grooms who don’t see it as their “last night as a free man.” On the contrary, they see it as an opportunity to simply celebrate the next chapter with close friends.

Case and point: a husband-to-be named Luke, who apparently couldn’t stop “gushing” about his bride, Sam. This, according to a woman also named Sam, who happened to be at the bar Luke was having his bachelor party at.
Keep ReadingShow less