A Bunch Of Clueless White Guys Are Probably Not The Right Guys To Tell This Girl What To Do

I would like to see the following clip again, but this time with Broadway production, tap dancers, and a full brass band. Something as clever as this deserves it.

Transcript:
Show Transcript Hide Transcript

Lauren Mayer: Keep your Hobby Lobby away from my va-jay-jay. My body-wordy oughta belong to me. Why should some corporation control my procreation, if I want my utie-wootie baby-free? Just because you cling to some absurd distortion, birth control is not the same thing as abortion. Such loopy-pseudo-science is a travesty. So leave my sex life up to me!

If any spermie-wormies get near my eggie-weggies, let me decide if I'm getting preggie-woo. A bunch of clueless white guys are probably not the right guys to tell this girlie-whirlie what to do.

A law is still a law, despite your whines and cursing, and a business that's for profit's really not a person. So if the swerving of my cervix makes you nervous wrecks, then get your dirty minds off sex!

This case could set in place some crazy briefs if a company can be seen to have religious beliefs. They could all discriminate against the folks their churches hate, so just say no to this dopey-slippery-slope.

I don't want to see an 'argle-bargle' by Scalia full of homophobia and misogyny. And where's the finger-wagger at the guys who use Viagra. Their muffin-buttering's not for progeny. To what folks do in private, don't raise silly hurdles, and what's with the fixation about sex with turtles?

Insurance and health care should be religion-free. So leave my sex life up to me! A point-of-view is very scary if you share it with Rick Perry. So leave my sex life up to me! Please keep your Boehner-wayners out of all our hoochie-coochies and leave my sex life up to who, or what, I shtup, too!, leave my sex life up to me!

There may be small errors in this transcript.
About:

Original song, "Keep Your Hobby Lobby (Away From My Va-Jayjay)" by Lauren Mayer. You can buy her album with this and other songs on CD Baby.

Topics:

Flash Video Embed

This video is not supported by your device. Continue browsing to find other stuff you'll love!

In case you were wondering what matters to us, it's your privacy. Read our updated privacy policy.

Hey, Internet Friend. Looks like you're using a crazy old web browser, which is no longer supported. Please consider upgrading to something more modern—for a better experience, and a safer time online. We only want the best for you.

Download Google Chrome, and try it for a week. Don't think about it, just do it. You'll thank us later.