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101 ways to take care of yourself when the world feels overwhelming.

A therapist shares small ways to practice self-care.

I think that, for most of us, there are times in life when it all just feels like Too Much.

There may be some days, weeks, months, maybe even years when — for whatever reason — just getting through the day or going to work or putting one foot in front of the other feels hard. Really, really hard.

Photo via iStock.

Maybe it’s because you’re wrestling with anxiety, depression, or some other mental illness.

Maybe it’s because you’ve had your heart broken. Maybe you’ve gone through a physical or emotional trauma. Maybe you’re deeply grieving. Or maybe there’s no easily understood reason for why you’re feeling bad.

Whatever the case, I want you to know that it’s OK if you’re going through a tough time.

This doesn’t make you any less lovable, worthy, or capable. This just means you’re human. Being a human can be a messy, hard, confusing, painful experience sometimes.

So if you or someone you love is going through one of these tough times right now, a time where it all just feels like too much, I want to offer up 101 suggestions for self-care to help you or your loved one get through this time.

Photo via iStock.

1. Have a good, long, body-shaking cry.

2. Call a trusted friend or family member and talk it out.

3. Call in sick. Take comp time if you can. Take a mental health day.

4. Say no to extra obligations, chores, or anything that pulls on your precious self-care time.

5. Book a session (or more!) with your therapist.

6. Dial down your expectations of yourself at this time. When you’re going through life’s tough times, I invite you to soften your expectations of yourself and others.

7. Tuck yourself into bed early with a good book and clean sheets.

8. Watch a comforting/silly/funny/lighthearted TV show or movie. ("Parks and Recreation," anyone?)

9. Reread your favorite picture and chapter books from childhood.

10. Ask for some love and tenderness from your friends on social media. Let them comment on your post and remind you that you’re loved.

11. Look at some some really gorgeous pieces of art.

12. Watch YouTube videos of Ellen DeGeneres and the adorable kids she has on her show.

13. Look at faith-in-humanity-restoring lists from around the internet.

14. Ask for help. From whomever you need it — your boss, your doctor, your partner, your therapist, your mom. Let people know you need some help.

15. Wrap yourself up in a cozy fleece blanket and sip a cup of hot tea.

16. Breathe. Deeply. Slowly. Four counts in. Six counts out.

17. Hydrate. Have you had enough water today?

18. Eat. Have you eaten something healthy and nourishing today?

19. Sleep. Have you slept seven to nine hours? Is it time for some rest?

20. Shower. Then dry your hair and put on clothes that make you feel good.

21. Go outside and be in the sunshine.

22. Move your body gently in ways that feel good. Maybe aim for 30 minutes. Or 10 minutes if 30 feels like too much.

23. Read a story (or stories) of people who overcame adversity or maybe dealt with mental illness, too. (I personally admire J.K. Rowling’s story.)

24. Go to a 12-step meeting. Or any group meeting where support is offered. Check out church listings, hospital listings, or school listings, for example.

25. If you suspect something may be physiologically off with you, go see your doctor and/or psychiatrist and talk to them. Medication might help you at this time, and professionals can assist you in assessing this.

26. Take a long, hot bath. Light a candle and pamper yourself.

27. Read inspirational quotes.

28. Cuddle someone or something. Your partner. A pillow. Your friend’s dog.

29. Read previous emails, postcards, letters, etc. from friends and family reminding you of happier times.

30. Knit. Sculpt. Bake. Engage your hands.

31. Exhaust yourself physically — running, yoga, swimming, whatever helps you feel fatigued.

32. Write it out. Go free-form in a journal or on a computer. Get it all out and vent.

33. Create a plan if you’re feeling overwhelmed. List out what you need to do next to tackle and address whatever you’re facing. Chunk it down into manageable and understandable pieces.

34. Remind yourself you only have to get through the next five minutes. Then the next five. And so on.

35. Take five minutes to meditate.

36. Write out a list of 25 reasons you’ll be OK.

37. Write out a list of 25 examples of things you’ve overcome or accomplished.

38. Write out a list of 25 reasons you’re a good, lovable person.

39. Write out a list of 25 things that make your life beautiful.

40. Sniff some scents that bring you joy or remind you of happier times.

41. Ask for support from friends and family via text if voice-to-voice contact feels like too much. Ask them to check in with you via text daily or weekly, whatever you need.

42. Lay down on the ground. Let the Earth or floor hold you. You don’t have to hold it all on your own.

43. Clean up a corner of a room of your house. Sometimes tidying up can help calm our minds.

44. Ask yourself: What’s my next most immediate priority? Do that that. Then ask the question again.

45. Read some poetry. Rumi, Hafiz, and Mary Oliver are all excellent.

46. Take a tech break. Delete or deactivate social media if it feels too triggering right now.

47. Or maybe get on tech. If you’ve been isolating, maybe interacting with friends and family online might feel good.

48. Go out in public and be around others. You don’t have to engage, but maybe sit in a coffee shop or on a bench at a museum and soak up the humanity around you.

49. Or if you’re feeling too saturated with contact, go home. Cancel plans and tend to the introverted parts of yourself.

50. Ask friends and family to remind you that things will be OK and that what you’re feeling is temporary.

51. Put up some Christmas lights in your bedroom. They often make things more magical.

52. Spend a little money and treat yourself to some self-care and comfort. Maybe take a taxi versus the bus. Buy your lunch instead of forcing yourself to pack it. Buy some flowers that delight you.

53. Make art. Scribble with crayons. Splash some watercolors. Paint a rock. Whatever. Just create something.

54. Go wander around outside in your neighborhood and take a look at all the lovely houses and the way people decorate their gardens. Delight in the diversity of design.

55. Go visit or volunteer at your local animal rescue. Pet some animals.

56. Look at photos of people you love. Set them as the wallpaper of your phone or laptop.

57. Create and listen to a playlist of songs that remind you of happier times.

58. Read some spiritual literature.

59. Scream, pound pillows, tear up paper, shake your body to move the energy out.

60. Eat your favorite, most comforting foods.

61. Watch old "Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood" videos online.

62. Turn off the lights, sit down, stare into space, and do absolutely nothing.

63. Pick one or two things that feel like progress and do them. Make your bed. Put away the dishes. Return an email.

64. Go to a church or spiritual community service. Sit among others and absorb any guidance or grace that feels good to you.

65. Allow yourself to fantasize about what you’re hoping or longing for. There are clues and energy in your reveries and daydreams that are worth paying attention to.

66. Watch autonomous sensory meridian response videos to help you calm down and fall asleep at night.

67. Listen to monks chanting, singing Tibetan bowls, or nature sounds to help soothe you.

68. Color in some coloring books.

69. Revisit an old hobby. Even if it feels a little forced, try your hand at things you used to enjoy and see what comes up for you.

70. Go to the ocean. Soak up the negative ions.

71. Go to the mountains. Absorb the strength and security of them.

72. Go to the forest. Drink in the shelter, life, and sacredness of the trees.

73. Put down the personal help books and pick up some good old-fashioned fiction.

74. Remember: Your only job right now is to put one foot in front of the other.

75. Allow and feel and express your feelings — all of them! — safely and appropriately. Seek out help if you need support in this.

76. Listen to sad songs or watch sad movies if you need a good cry. ("Steel Magnolias," anyone?)

77. Dance around wildly to your favorite, most cheesy songs from your high school years.

78. Put your hands in dirt. If you have a garden, go garden. If you have some indoor plants, tend to them. If you don’t have plants or a garden, go outside. Go to a local nursery and touch and smell all the gorgeous plants.

79. If you want to stay in bed all day watching Netflix, do it. Indulge.

80. Watch or listen to some comedy shows or goofy podcasts.

81. Look up examples of people who have gone through and made it through what you’re currently facing. Seek out models of inspiration.

82. Get expert help with whatever you need. Whether that’s through therapy, psychiatry, a lawyer, clergy, or something else, let those trained to support you do it.

83. Educate yourself about what you’re going through. Learn about what you’re facing, what you can expect to feel, and how you can support yourself in this place.

84. Establish a routine and stick to it. Routines can bring so much comfort and grounding in times of life that feel chaotic or out of control.

85. Do some hardcore nesting and make your home or bedroom as cozy and beautiful and comforting as possible.

86. Get up early and watch a sunrise.

87. Go outside, set up a chair, and watch the sunset.

88. Make your own list of self-soothing activities that engage all five of your senses.

89. Develop a supportive morning ritual for yourself.

90. Develop a relaxing evening ritual for yourself.

91. Join a support group for people who are going through what you’re going through. Check out the listings at local hospitals, libraries, churches, and universities to see what’s out there.

92. Volunteer at a local shelter or hospital or nursing home. Practice being of service to others who may also be going through a tough time.

93. Accompany a friend or family member to something. Even if it’s just keeping them company while they run errands, sometimes this kind of contact can feel like good self-care.

94. Take your dog for a walk. Or borrow a friend’s dog and take them for a walk.

This kangaroo dog loves walks.

95. Challenge your negative thinking.

96. Practice grounding, relaxation techniques.

97. Do something spontaneous. Walk or drive a different way to work. Order something new off the menu. Listen to a playlist of new songs.

98. Work with your doctor, naturopath, or nutritionist to develop a physical exercise plan and food plan that will be supportive to whatever you’re facing right now.

99. Pray. Meditate. Write a letter to God, the universe, the Source, your higher self — whatever you believe in.

100. As much as you can, try and trust the process.

101. Finally, remember, what you’re going through right now is temporary. It may not feel like that from inside the tough time you’re in, but this too shall pass and you will feel different again someday. If you can’t have faith in that, let me hold the hope for you.

This list is really just a starting point meant to catalyze your own thinking about how you can best take care of yourself during life’s tough times and to spark your curiosity and interest in strengthening your self-care now and ongoing.

It's not meant to be prescriptive nor do I mean to imply you need to do all or any of these things to take good care of yourself. You are the expert of your own experience, and I trust that you know what’s best for you.

Also, my hope is that in reading this, you’re hearing me say how normal and natural it is to struggle and to have these tough, hard times. It’s part of being human.

You’re not alone in this.

GIF via "Friends."


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Immigrant couples find joy with new Thanksgiving tradition

This Chinatown shop is holding space for tradition in a changing city

Photo: Jessica Shuran Yu for Documented.
David Huang, 23, and Ana Delgado, 24, are one of three couples at The One Wedding Plaza on Thanksgiving Day.
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On Thanksgiving Day, when most Americans gather with family to reflect on and celebrate their blessings, a different kind of holiday tradition has flourished among immigrant families in recent decades: Weddings.

Both of our families are immigrants,” said Ana Delgado, whose family emigrated from Costa Rica to New York City. She and her husband, David Huang, whose family settled in Tennessee after leaving China, were married at The One Wedding Plaza on Thanksgiving Day in 2024. “We’re not super attached to the Thanksgiving [holiday],” she explained.

Thanksgiving Day weddings are especially popular among Chinese immigrants like the Huang family. Because many Chinese families in New York work in the retail, construction, or garment industries, the holiday provides a rare day off work where families and friends are available to gather. Boutiques like The One Wedding Plaza have stepped up to meet the demand, providing a one-stop shop for families looking to host a celebration. More than simply a wedding venue, boutiques like The One Wedding Plaza offer entertainment, catering arrangements, gown rentals, makeup services, and other wedding necessities.

Same Tradition, Shifting Cultures

Thanksgiving Day weddings continue to grow in popularity, but in New York City, the tradition looks different than it did pre-pandemic. Before COVID, boutiques and banquet halls in Chinatown bustled with customers, providing full wedding services for Chinese families. Now, however, much of the Chinese population in Chinatown has moved into neighboring areas like Flushing and Sunset Park, taking businesses with them. At the same time, according to reporting from Documented, an independent, non-profit newsroom dedicated to reporting with and for immigrant communities in New York City, more than one-fifth of storefronts in Chinatown have been forced to close. The result is that The One Wedding Plaza is now the last surviving full-scale wedding boutique in Chinatown—and the last remaining touchstone of the Thanksgiving Day wedding tradition for Chinatown-area families.

“This street used to be so lively,” said Jessica Liang, who works as the general manager of The One Wedding Plaza, which is located on East Broadway. At one point, she recalled, businesses along her street would be bustling with customers well into the night. Now, during the night, they’re mostly empty.

Wedding dresses at The One Wedding Plaza in Manhattan Chinatown.

Jessica Shuran Yu for Documented.

But Liang refuses to close shop. Although her locations in Flushing and Brooklyn are doing better than the Chinatown location, Liang is determined to keep the Chinatown location open to help couples like Huang and Delgado carry on meaningful family traditions and create new memories.

Blending Makeup, Blending Traditions

While the economy and the population have shifted in recent years, Thanksgiving Day Weddings are as meaningful as ever. Huang and Delgado, in fact, were so dedicated to the idea that they flew their families to New York from Tennessee in order to celebrate, as there were no banquet halls in Tennessee suitable for a Chinese wedding. The high school sweethearts were one of three couples who married at The One Wedding Plaza on Thanksgiving 2024, their celebration—a joyful mix of Mandarin, English, and Spanish cultures. Liang, in addition to acting as the Plaza’s general manager, also offered services as a makeup artist for Delgado and her bridesmaids on the big day.

Like many immigrant families, Huang and Delgado weren’t just celebrating a wedding—they were paying tribute to their respective cultures, embracing new traditions, and honoring the immigrant experience. The One Wedding Plaza made that possible not only by providing makeup services and the venue, but holding space for a celebration of heritage and community. It’s for exactly this reason that Liang is committed to keeping The One Wedding Plaza open for immigrant families in Chinatown for years to come.

--

This article, written by Jessica Shuran Yu, originally appeared on Documented, an independent, non-profit newsroom dedicated to reporting with and for immigrant communities in New York City. Documented’s community-driven approach to journalism and information impacts the everyday experiences of immigrants—including providing original reporting and resource guides in English, Spanish, Chinese, and Haitian Creole. Sign up for Early Arrival, Documented’s newsletter, for immigration news—docu.nyc/earlyarrival.


This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

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85-year-old woman in senior home brings down the house with Fleetwood Mac 'Landslide' cover

There wasn't a dry eye in the house.

Cecily Knobler

A woman sings "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac at karaoke.

On a hot Sunday in July, Carole Wade took the mic at a Dallas senior living facility where my mom lives. I happened to be visiting for the karaoke event, and the list of residents who couldn't wait to put their stamps on their favorite tunes was so long, the event had to be extended. ABBA's "Mamma Mia," David Lee Roth's "Just a Gigolo"—you name it, they sang it.

When it was Wade's turn, the microphone was brought to her table. She took it in her hands as though it was an extension of her fingers as the music cued up. Then, as she began to effortlessly sing "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac, the room got still. Frozen. All eyes were on her, and most of those eyes were wet. The lyrics, so beautifully fitting:

"Well, I've been afraid of changin'
'Cause I've built my life around you.
But time makes you bolder,
Even children get older,
I'm getting old too."

A man sitting at our table took notice of how emotional I had become. He leaned over to say, "Never stop feeling the music."

I had the honor of chatting with Wade, who at 85, has been singing nearly her whole life. She got started in the business as a backup singer in Elvis impersonator groups in Dallas and surrounding areas. In and out of bands, playing Deep Ellum clubs and local hotels, she shares, "I've been singing since I was a small child. I've loved music all my life."

As luck would have it, she was at a jam session when she started harmonizing with other musicians. They would soon form her most recent band, Psychedelic Oatmeal. They officially stopped playing gigs when she was in her 70s, but they remain close. (She notes her bandmates were all much younger.)

 bands, carole wade, music, old friends, singer Carole and her band mates.Carole Wade

They covered classic rock tunes from Stevie Nicks, The Eagles, Janis Joplin, and Led Zeppelin. Songs like "Me and Bobby McGee," "Seven Bridges Road," and "Whole Lotta Love." She laughs that most of the men in the band couldn't hit those Zeppelin high notes made famous by Robert Plant, so she took on the challenge—with great success.

They even branded themselves at gigs, making little Ziploc bags of oatmeal and glitter, which they would throw to the audience at shows. That is, until a club owner asked them to stop, as the oatmeal was mixing with spilled drinks, "creating goo."

Rare footage of Psychedelics Oatmeal.

  The band Psychedelic Oatmeal plays in Dallas.  www.youtube.com  

Wade makes clear that music is her therapy. "If you're down on a certain day, it will bring you up." She has lived a full life, with two grown sons who are both excelling in life. But music, and the friends with whom she makes it, brings her that extra piece of joy and purpose.

Michael Hatcher, the Resident Services Director at The Reserve at North Dallas (the senior facility in which this event was held), has seen firsthand how music soothes seniors. It reconnects them to their purest selves, no matter how hazy their memories might become. Hatcher shares, "They remember the music, and the time. It's a vessel for anyone of age. It can be used to bring someone out of the deepest sun-downing and back to life."

A man sings "Just a Gigolo" at The Reserve karaoke day.

@cdk213

Senior living karaoke! Fabulous! #seniorlivingcommunity #justagigalo #dallas

There is much research to support this. Bannerhealth.com quotes music therapy coordinator Tammy Reiver for Banner Hospice in Phoenix: "Music holds the power to increase dopamine levels (happy hormones), decrease symptoms of depression and pain, and improve a person’s quality of life. Pleasing music plays an important role at every age, but for aging adults, the benefits are even greater.”

As for Wade? She jokes that she and a few other musicians at the senior home have plans to start their own band. She certainly has the chops for it—and the fans.

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Man uses 'Death of Las Vegas' trend to explain why Americans are done being exploited

What's happening to Las Vegas is a metaphor for how people are feeling about the economy.

via Canva/Photos

The Las Vegas strip.

The "Vegas is Dead" trend on social media has TikTokers sharing videos of an empty Strip and casinos, speculating about where all the tourists have gone. The online speculation is supported by numerous reports indicating that tourism to Sin City is down in 2025. A June report found that overall visitor numbers are down six percent for the first half of the year, with international visitor arrivals falling by over 13 percent in June compared to the same period in the previous year.

There has also been a sharp decline in Canadian visitors due to the White House’s push to make the country America’s 51st state. However, there’s also considerable speculation that Vegas has become too expensive for the average American, and even if they can afford the inflated prices, the price hikes make it a less enjoyable experience. Vegas was once a place where people went to get free drinks in casinos, cheap rooms during the week, and inexpensive buffets to entice them to gamble the rest of their money. These days, critics say the casinos want to price gouge and get you to gamble as well.

 


How expensive is Las Vegas?

Hotels have been removing coffee makers, forcing visitors to buy eight dollar coffees in the casino. A visitor recently shared that she had been charged $26 for a bottle of Fiji water from the minibar in her room at the Aria Resort & Casino. A British magician was charged $74.41 for two drinks at the Sphere, and some hotels charge $50 just to use the mini-fridge.

"On the Strip, people get taken for a ride. Once they get here, they're like, 'I'm tired of being treated like this. I'm tired of having to pay these ridiculous prices,’” Anthony Curtis, publisher of the Las Vegas Advisor website, told The Independent. "There are fees all over the place—fees to park, resort fees on top of room rates. And people are getting fed up with it. We hear that a lot from our customers."

“Vegas is not fun anymore,” Amrita Bhasin, a retail-industry entrepreneur, told MarketWatch.


Why are people turned off by Las Vegas?

TikToker Nathan Ramos-Park recently shared his thoughts on why Vegas is struggling, and he views it as part of a broader trend across America. Ramos-Park is a film and TV writer behind Five Blind Dates, Ero, and Picture This. He says that the city’s prices are so high that they feel exploitative to most people, so Vegas no longer provides the “escapism” it once did.

@nathanramospark

Las Vegas no longer lets people feel escapism. It exploits so hard that people can’t afford to feel any joy which makes them in turn abandon their vices. It’s too expensive to gamble or eat or even park. There’s no coffee makers in the rooms there’s no microwave. There’s no way for people to experience joy modestly. In a way it mocks people. This will be the continuing downfall of Vegas and is a reflection of a broken system where people are exploited too hard. #lasvegas #edc #rio #caesarspalace #bellagio #fountain #fattuesday #thestrip #downtown #losangeles #escapism #exploitation #capitalism #microwave #dinner #coffee #downfall

Ramos-Park recalls going to Vegas in his 20s and getting a 5-star hotel for $20, free bottle service, and, for $100 between three people, they were able to have a “catharsis where we can eat as much as we want, drink as much as we want and it just doesn't exist anymore in Vegas.”

“Everything is just so prohibitively expensive, like buffets are over 80 bucks, even just a park on the strip was $20 for an hour,” he said before arguing that it just feels like “exploitation." Ramos-Park says it’s unnecessary because during uncertain economic times, people want to “escape” and if Vegas lowered its prices, “people would come and fall into the same traps of gambling and losing their money, but they would be happy to do so.”

@bshel74

What is going on here in Vegas? Never seen it so slow. Every casino and restaurant are pretty empty. #Vegas

He adds that his price-gouging leads people to resent corporatism, and it’s not just happening in Vegas, but also in big cities such as Los Angeles, Chicago, San Francisco, New York, and Seattle.

“It ends up hurting everybody. Ends up hurting the business. Ends up hurting the people. That ends up hurting the community, and so I think we're gonna see a lot of counter programming start to pop up, in the next three to five years, against these big kind of corporate locations," he said.

"This is also why I don’t get how there are any Disney adults left. How can you experience escapism when you’re being charged $25 for a lollipop," one commenter wrote. "I noticed the coffee machines being removed from rooms several years ago and it was then I knew we were never going back to the good days," another added.

Whether it’s a surprise resort fee in Vegas, $17 beers at a baseball game, a $45 service charge for Taylor Swift tickets, or a $100 fee to check a bag, people are fed up with being nickel-and-dimed by corporations, and sooner or later, there’s going to be pushback. Hopefully, this downward trend in visitors to Vegas is the wake-up call the town needs to make things reasonably priced again so people will return. Remember, casinos, you can always get ‘em back at the roulette wheel, but you don’t stand a chance if they aren't willing to show up in the first place.

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Golden Years

I spent a week chatting with people over 80. Here are 4 pieces of wisdom they shared.

"No one warns you how many of your new friends will pass on."

Canva

Two hands of different ages grasp one another.

There are only a few things in this life we can't evade. One of them is aging. Sure, there's Botox and facelifts and all that jazz to help us look younger. But in the end, our cells simply insist on keeping score, and no matter how hard some might fight it, our DNA is bombarded with hits that will eventually take us down.

The good news is that with years often comes wisdom. I like to think of our minds as though they were hiking trails. Each trail has a sign, but instead of telling us which way to go, the signs remind us who we are. This past week, I was honored to read some of those signs at the senior home where my mom resides. Nearly every conversation, at least for me, yielded little sage sachets of advice that are truly invaluable.

 

Know someone before you marry them.

 

A woman in her early 80s shared that it takes about a year for someone's "true nature" to be revealed, even in the most intimate of relationships. (This, at least according to a professor she had in graduate school.) In other words, she says, "A person can hide their psychological pathologies, on average, for about a year."

So, she wishes younger people would wait at least that long before moving in or getting married. "Slow down," she said. "Really take your time before you take the leap. Everyone puts their best foot forward at first and then sometimes that mask can slip. Don't get stuck."

 elderly man, elderly woman, relationship, honeymoon phase A man kissing a woman near the ocean.  Photo by Esther Ann on Unsplash  

Some research shows that the "honeymoon phase" can, of course, vary in length. Brides.com shares, "The honeymoon phase is an early part of a couple's relationship where everything seems carefree and happy. It usually lasts from six months to two years and can be marked with lots of laughs, intimacy, and fun dates."

No matter how long that phase lasts, her advice to slow down and really get to know someone before fully committing seems like (mostly) a good idea.

 

Listen to your doctors

 elderly man, doctor's office, health, blood pressure A doctor examining a patient's wrist with a stethoscope  Photo by CDC on Unsplash  

 

I met a woman who was a retired OBGYN. We talked at length about perimenopause, hormones, and life after 50. She urges, "Do the research, but also (for the most part) listen to your doctors. Most of them know what they're doing."

We both kind of laughed, and then she leaned in and said, "No. Really." She added, "Nothing wrong with getting a second, or even third opinion. But listen and read all you can before it's too late."

 

Understand that time is precious

 elderly, aging, friendship, time, Two men play chess.  Photo by Vlad Sargu on Unsplash  

 

One thing my mom rather casually mentioned really stuck with me. This was how difficult it is to make new friends—and not for reasons one might think. Sure, senior living facilities can be just as cliquey as groups were in middle school. But for my mother, it was less about fitting in and more about fearing she would lose people as she grew to love them.

"No one warns you how many of your new friends will pass on. When I first moved here, I befriended a brilliantly funny woman and within six months she was gone. This happens more and more and you never get used to it. You're never prepared."

 

If you don't want to eat dinner at 4:30, you don't have to.

 

On a simpler note, this one might be obvious to some, but it was certainly a common topic among the people with whom I spoke. Even though they serve dinner at 5:00 in many senior homes, it doesn't mean you can't put it in Tupperware and save it for later. To that point, just because people age, doesn't mean they have to go to bed at 8:00 p.m. (Though for many, that timeline is just perfect.)

One man noted, "Just because we all live in one place doesn't mean we all become one person. We've got night owls and early birds and every other kind of bird you could imagine. Eat and sleep when you want to. It's still your life."

His friend added, "If you want to play Mahjong at midnight, do it!"

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Voice actor explores the 100 year journey of women using baby voices in movies and TV

Come for the incredible voice acting. Stay for the awesome history lesson.

@tawnyplatis/Instagram

Tawny Platis gives an incredible vocal performance and even more incredible history lesson.

It’s always fun to watch talented voice actors do their thing, but it's even better if it makes you think in the process. Tawny Platis is certainly a voiceover artist who can deliver both. Just a few seconds of scrolling through her Instagram, and you’ll find all sorts of videos that are delicious for both your ears and your brain—from explaining how to use your voice to be taken seriously to breaking down how AI voices really work, and more.

But one of Platis’ most recent videos, where she takes you on a 100-year journey through the evolution of women using “baby voice,” really takes both entertaining and educational aspects up a notch.

“This is a quick funny little recap of something that has a huge complicated history,” Platis writes in her video’s caption before effortlessly flitting from ultra recognizable character voices which might seem superficial, but have “been a strategic part of women’s culture forever.”

For the 1920s–1940s era, Platis dawned a high-pitched, sing-song, Betty Boop-esque flapper style voice she dubbed the “Cartoon Coquette,” which she noted was “created to rebel against serious Victorian womanhood” and which allowed women to express themselves in a flirtatious way without seeming too threatening or loose.

 voice, voiceover, voiceover actor, voiceover actress, history, tawny platis, women's history Boop-boop-be-dupe the patriarchy.  media4.giphy.com  

Moving onto the 1950s–70s, we have Marilyn Monroe’s signature “Breathy Baby” voice, which was used to “mask a childhood stutter” and subsequently became "branding genius” and, similarly, became a way of appearing “non threatening” to the other sex who might feel “emasculated by a woman’s independence."

 voice, voiceover, voiceover actor, voiceover actress, history, tawny platis, women's history She was the master of "strategic infantilization." media4.giphy.com  

Then you have the “Valley Girl” voice of the 1980s–90s, which you might not immediately link to a baby voice, until you consider that it served as a “social function” to “survive in a world that tells us smart girls aren’t cool.” So in this case, "airheaded speech” actually “created sisterhood,” Platis noted, “during an era of intense economic competition.”

 voice, voiceover, voiceover actor, voiceover actress, history, tawny platis, women's history Assuming girls are dumb because of their voice? As if!  media1.giphy.com  

The Valley Girl then evolved into the 2000’s “Reality Blonde,” aka the Kim Kardashian/Paris Hilton vocal fry so many people have STRONG feelings about. As Platis explained, this vocal placement, however dumb it sounds, was a “calculated business strategy"—essentially a way to “monetize” being "underestimated."

 voice, voiceover, voiceover actor, voiceover actress, history, tawny platis, women's history Voice as branding? That's hot.  media4.giphy.com  

Pulling off a perfect Jennifer Coolidge impression, Platis then dived into what she called the “Camp Queen” of the 2010s. Again, I personally never would have labeled this as a baby voice, but it totally makes sense when Platis breaks down how it really is “baby talk that’s 'so exaggerated it’s now satire,'” used to make you “question why you thought women who sounded like this weren’t really that smart.”

 voice, voiceover, voiceover actor, voiceover actress, history, tawny platis, women's history Does this voice make you want a hotdog real bad?  media2.giphy.com  

Last but certainly not least, Platis delivers the 2020s “Bimbo Reclamation” voice, which aims to “be adorable and disarm the patriarchy.” It’s attention-grabbing, performative, and very self-aware. As Platis said, “the girlies who get it, get it, and the girlies who don’t, don't."

 voice, voiceover, voiceover actor, voiceover actress, history, tawny platis, women's history It's called neo-feminism, bestie.  media2.giphy.com  

Watch the magic happen here:

Wow, what a fun ride, right? Just so much to love here. Platis’s amazing talent, finding a new appreciation for the way women have navigated a patriarchal society throughout history, learning how seemingly unrelated trends are actually connected, and of course, discovering how our own collective psychology is reflected in literally everything.

Judging from the comments, I wasn't the only one who enjoyed watching:

“Now this is the history class I can actually stay awake for. Very well explained.”

“Yes thank you! I love when a video explains random thoughts that have been flying around my brain for years.”

“Everything you said was factual to the tone and era. Good job.”

“Bruh your talent is phenomenal! Thanks for educating us in a funny manner.”

“Love your deep dives into voice trends 💕”

For even more awesome videos just like this one, give Platis a follow on Instagram.

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People are obsessed with the 'Gen Z stare.' But Gen X says it all started with 'Office Space.'

Michael Bolton's legacy will not be denied.

Image via Office Space/20th Century Fox

Gen Xers argue that the "Gen Z stare" started with them and the movie 'Office Space'.

The Gen Z stare has been a hot topic recently among older generations. Gen Z, those born from 1997 to 2012, are being called out for their socially awkward "stare." However, Gen X (those born 1965 to 1980) are claiming ownership of the stare, and tying it to the classic movie Office Space, which premiered in 1999.

Over on Reddit, of member PhoneJazz shared his stance that Gen X actually originated the "Geb Z stare." "More proof that the 'Gen X stare' was a thing before the 'Gen Z stare', they wrote, with a screenshot of the film's iconic character Michael Bolton serving a stare.

The post was a humorous hit with fellow Gen Xers, with many who agreed and added their thoughts in the comments. "Gen x state is more aloof disgust, while gen z state is more not knowing where to place your eyes when not looking at an iPad. There’s less intent in a gen z stare," one wrote.

 office space, michael bolton, gen x stare, gen x, gen xers Office Space Case Of The Mondays GIF  Giphy  

And another agreed, writing, "Except Michael here is showing disgust and contempt, it’s not the brain-is-buffering stare of Gen Z." It got a reply from another Gen Xer, who elaborated, "this is it. Z is buffering. X is calculating." And another noted, "I mean the GenZ stare always just struck me as kind of a blank 'I dunno, brain not processing' look. The GenX stare was always a 'Ima let you think about how f*ckin dumb the thing you just said to me was and give you a chance to feel stupid. Stupid.'"

Other Gen Xers agreed that the Gen X stare is not totally the same as Gen Z's, and involves a little more judgement than those given by Gen Z. Another explained, "Exactly! We give a derisive, disgusted state for a moment. The gen z stare shows a complete lack of…anything. I never knew what people were talking about bc I never witnessed it before last week," they shared, before sharing their story of experiencing a real-life Gen Z stare.

 stare, blank stare, gen z stare, staring, gen z Season 1 Episode 6 GIF by The Roku Channel  Giphy  

"I was checking out at a store and the cashier (male) just stared and said literally nothing the entire time until he asked if I needed a bag. As I was leaving I heard him talk normally to a coworker. It was completely rude and made him seem much less than intelligent," they wrote. "If he were a server I wouldn’t tip him. It was that bad. To me all it showed was rudeness and an inability to function with the public. Glad it’s rare around here."

Other Gen Xers defended Gen Z about their stare. "In a recent NYT article, Gen Zers claimed it was because they don’t suffer fools at all, and so if they don’t want to interact with you, they just shut down, even in service positions," one wrote. Another Gen Xer added, "Aren’t we going to cut Gen Z some slack for how COVID f*cked up their education and socialization?"

 gen z, gen z stare, generation z, generations, change Judging Mean Girls GIF by Magic Radio  Giphy  

Ultimately, Gen X seemed in agreement with owning their version of the stare and highlighting the differences. One Gen Xer perfectly summarized it: "The GenX stare is sardonic, whatever type attitude. It usually came after an interaction turned sour. The Gen Z is blank. It isn't active disdain for what a 'customer' or teacher is demanding but is a lack of emotion or awareness of interaction with a human from the start," they wrote. "It's been described as passively watching, as if the world is a video. I don't think that tracks with our generation's attitude at all."

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