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Why you should let this comic book writer inspire you to be more productive, using text messages.

People are always looking for that "one weird trick" that will rocket them to success.

Life hacks are up there with cats and reaction GIFs on the list of Things the Internet Loves. Everybody's eager to find that perfect shortcut for living a full, productive life without actually doing anything. There are probably more Super Clever How-To Guides for Being Awesome online than there are people in the world. Which kinda makes sense when you think about it: We still haven't found the One True Way to Do Things Better/Stronger/Faster, so we have to keep hunting for the next best option.

(Unless someone has figured it out, and they're just not telling us. In which case, not cool.)


But if there's anyone who knows how to get sh*t done, it's comic book writer (and certified BAMF) Kelly Sue DeConnick.

Kelly Sue is probably best known for her work on Marvel's "Captain Marvel" comic book, which inspired a rabid legion of fans calling themselves "The Carol Corps" after the main character, Carol Danvers. DeConnick also writes the death western "Pretty Deadly" and the femmesploitation prison book "Bitch Planet" while running a film/TV production company with her husband (and fellow comic book writer) Matt Fraction and raising two adorably weird kids (plus she invented the "Sexy Lamp Test," which is kinda like the Bechdel Test only better). "Vanity Fair" calls her "The Future of Women in Comics."

So basically, she's got a lot on her plate. But somehow, she gets it all done and still has time to engage with fans on Twitter and Tumblr.


Kelly Sue (kneeling, center) with a few members of the Carol Corps. Photo via Flickr.

DeConnick has also volunteered to be your very own personal life coach/motivational speaker (via text message).

You don't have to follow Kelly Sue's 3 a.m. to 8 p.m. daily schedule to be productive.

All you need to do is text @bitchesg to (971) 244.8342, and Kelly Sue will send you a daily dose of how-to hints and motivational ass-kickery.

She calls it B*tches Get Sh*t Done because as Tina Fey and Amy Poehler famously declared, women who are often considered such tend to also be renowned for their remarkable levels of productivity. Translation:

Of course, they had to censor themselves for NBC (Kelly Sue has no such qualms). GIF from "Saturday Night Live."

Kelly Sue launched B*tches Get Sh*t Done in January 2014. She was mostly just messing around after hearing about an SMS subscription service called Remind which allows teachers to mass-text their students with reminders and assignments (which, to me, sounds absolutely horrible). In this case, Kelly Sue is the teacher, and the 2,000 people who subscribe to the service are her productivity disciples.

Kelly Sue being infinitely more productive than you. Photo by Terra Clarke Olsen/Flickr.

So no, sadly, you're not the only one she's texting (sorry). But there's something about that little message that feels remarkably personal — moreso than, say, an email, or even a social media feed that you have to manually scroll through. When you hear that little ping in the middle of the day (or in my case, that R2-D2 bleep-bloop) signifying a new text, it's almost like Auntie Kelly Sue is looking over your shoulder and reminding you that you're awesome and that you're doing a good job but that seriously you need to get to work.

B*tches Get Sh*t Done might not change your life, but it will nag you with positivity until your sh*t gets done.

B*tches Get Sh*t Done's daily inspiration comes in many different forms. But perhaps what's best about it is that it doesn't pretend to be some deep, profound revelation that will change your life. It's a friendly, positive reminder that the best way to get sh*t done is to, well, get sh*t done.

Here are a few of my favorites, courtesy of the BGSD Tumblr archive:

https://bgsd-archive.tumblr.com/post/110652616978/being-uncomfortable-is-a-reasonable-price-to-pay

https://bgsd-archive.tumblr.com/post/110735923974/stop-for-a-sec-find-a-mirror-tent-your-fingers

https://bgsd-archive.tumblr.com/post/109790123084/someone-somewhere-is-playing-eye-of-the-tiger

https://bgsd-archive.tumblr.com/post/113204411771/itll-go-better-tomorrow-bgsd

https://bgsd-archive.tumblr.com/post/125526503433/12-of-sharks-glow-not-sure-why-i-find-that

https://bgsd-archive.tumblr.com/post/126442172306/overwhelmed-1-thing-at-a-time-small-bites

https://bgsd-archive.tumblr.com/post/126350499906/bitches-get-shit-d-monday-fresh-start-clean

At the end of the day, it's still up you to make sh*t happen. Still, sometimes it helps to have a swift kick in the app.

(That app being Messages. See what I did there?)

To me, the best part about BGSD is the fact that there's no new age-y mantra about it. It's a refreshingly realistic approach that's obvious and yet so easy to forget: You get sh*t done by doing sh*t, so stop searching for shortcuts and just do the sh*t.

That's why it's nice to be reminded every now and then and to have someone else tell you that you're on the right path but that also maybe it would help if you went for a walk or wrote out your to-do list and actually stuck to it this time and made sure to really cross things off as you go and also don't forget that thing that you've been putting off but really need to do!

I could keep going, but what's the point? I got sh*t that needs doin'! (Like filing this story, for example.)

Kelly Sue being more effing metal than you. Photo by Pat Loika/Flickr (text added).

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True

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@yourejustliz/TikTok

“Nice is different than kind."

It might have been pretty universally accepted during our childhood for daughters to be expected to reciprocate affection from adults, whether they liked it or not. A non consensual kiss to grandparents here, a forced “thank you” there. But times have changed.

However, this change in parenting style can sometimes make for some, well, awkward or even downright uncomfortable situations as moms and dads try to advocate for this kid’s autonomy.

Recently, a mom named Liz Kindred detailed just such an incident with her six year old daughter, which has a whole lotta other parents discussing how to navigate these unideal interactions.

As she recalls in a video posted to TikTok, Kindred was waiting in line with her daughter when a grown man turned around and said “My goodness, you sure are pretty” to the child.

“My six-year-old is gorgeous, yes, but she is also very in tune and perceptive, and she's an introvert so she grabbed my leg really tight,” Kindred said.

Doubling down, the man repeated himself, saying “You sure are pretty. Look at those blue eyes,” which only made her shy daughter grab her leg harder.

Noting that being in a 12 step program has taught her to be less “knee jerk reactionary,” the mom bit her tongue and offered a polite smile to the man, hoping that would be the end of it. It wasn’t.



“He's a boomer and, God love him, he said, ‘I guess your mom didn't teach you manners.’ And I let out an uncomfortable little [chuckle], and the pause was long. It was long. And under his breath he said, ‘Guess not,’” she said.

In what she called the most ”Jesus loving way” she could muster, while still bluntly making her point, Kindred told the man "If you assume that I didn't teach my six-year-old daughter to say ‘thank you’ to a grown, consenting man when he compliments her appearance, then you would be correct."

What followed was the “longest silence” of Kindred’s life.

The video, which has been viewed over 6 million times now, prompted a ton of parents to share how their own kids have established boundaries in similar situations—with their support, of course.

“An old man called my 4 yr old daughter a sweetheart at the store…she boldly responded ‘I am NOT YOUR sweetheart!’ I was so proud,” on person recalled.

Another added, “My 3 year old says ‘NO THANK YOU MY BODY DOESN’T LIKE TAHT.’”

Still another said “My 2 yo knows the boundaries song and just starts singing that anytime someone talks to her.”

While the response to Kindred’s video was overwhelmingly positive, there were a few comments defending the man as simply being “kind.” This prompted Kindred to do a follow-up video doubling down on her decision.

In the clip, she shared how she herself has dealt with seemingly innocent compliments in her life from men, which later turned into something else. Feeling like she “didn’t have a voice” to say something, “because I’m a nice Christian, Southern girl,” Kindred ended up being in unsavory situations (she didn't explicitly say what those situations were, but it's easy enough to piece together). She doesn’t want her daughter to have the same issues.


“Nice is different than kind. The kind thing to do is to teach our daughters and our children in this next generation that when you are uncomfortable with something you listen to your body and you set a firm boundary with that and you provide language around that. And you start that really really young.”

Yep. Well said.


This article originally appeared last year.

British woman's stroke leaves her with an Italian accent

There's something universal about getting a kick out of speaking in foreign accents that differ from your own. Whether it's American friends putting on a fake British accent to talk about tea or an Australian speaking in a southern U.S. accent to order barbecue, it's all in good fun. But what is you woke up one day speaking in an accent that wasn't your own outside of your control?

This very thing happened to a British woman after suffering a stroke. It was just another day for Althia Bryden, she and her husband, Winston had settled in for the evening, propped up in bed to catch some television before going off to sleep. But things took a dramatic turn when her husband left the room for a few minutes only to return to Althia slumped over looking strangely.

Winston immediately knew that something wasn't right so he rushed her to the hospital where he found out that she had a stroke. The condition required her to have surgery to clear the blockage to her brain but when she awakened, she no longer recognized the voice coming from her mouth. This wasn't because her speech was slurred due to the stroke, it's because she was speaking in a completely different accent.

Comforting Hand In Hand GIF by Law & OrderGiphy

Of course, Althia was thrilled to be speaking at all since she was unable to do so for a period of time after her stroke but it wasn't her accent. The woman who normally spoke with a familiar British accent was suddenly speaking with an Italian accent, except she's never spoken Italian. In fact, she's never even been to the boot shaped country on vacation, yet somehow she picked up the perfect Italian accent while under anesthesia.

Althia and her husband recently appeared on "This Morning," a morning news show in England, to tell the story of Althia's bizarre stroke side effect.

"i just remember to wake up into a ward but I didn't know why I was there, you know? Winston's telling me, my family's telling me I have a stroke. I wasn't sure where I was at the time and I didn't realize I had been taken from my house, from my bed, none of this. You know, a big surprise," Althia says in a thick Italian accent.

Organized Crime Nbc GIF by Law & OrderGiphy

The woman admits to the talk show hosts that it was a scary experience not being able to talk at first. The only thing she can do upon waking from her stroke was to point at things as a means of communication. She explains that she could hear and understand everything going on around her but she was unable to speak until after the surgery where they removed a carotid web. This is a rare thin membrane that can extend within the carotid artery blocking blood flow.

"The next day, you know, they moved me to a ward. The nurse comes to wake me to do blood pressure again, you know cause they're worried about it. So I hear this voice, I've not hear my voice for a long time, you know. I'm like this," Althia reenacts looking around the room. "I didn't realize it was me. I looked behind me in my hospital bed, who is speaking to me, you know. Who is this?"

Althia is one of only 200 or so people around the world who have Foreign Accent Syndrome. This rare condition can develop after damage to the area of your brain that controls speech, can develop without cause or occurring after a seizure or migraine according to the Cleveland Clinic. While the people who have the condition may sound as if they have a different accent, they don't actually have a "foreign" accent. That part of their brain has them forming words

"FAS involves sound changes that aren’t consistent with an accent. For example, accents that replace the “r” in “car” with an “ah” sound still say the “r” in words like “carriage.” Someone with FAS (especially the structural type) will likely still not make that “r” sound. That means their speech won’t exactly match with the accent it’s similar to," Cleveland Clinic explains.

There doesn't seem to be a cure for the condition, though speech therapy may help but there's no guarantee that it will take away the accent completely. It is mainly used to help people with FAS communicate more clearly. Thankfully for Althia, it seems that while her accent may still feel like a bit of a shock, she can communicate clearly with those around her. But for a woman born in London, her Italian accent sure will make for an interesting conversation at parties.

Images of Hugh Grant and Renee Zellweger via Wikicommons

Hugh Grant and Renee Zellweger



love actually GIFGiphy

  1. Hugh Grant does not hold back when it comes to his opinions on anything. But in one unfortunate interview he did for Elle Magazine back in 2009, he dished on most of his female co-stars, and it wasn't pretty. He described Emma Thompson as "clever, funny, mad as a chair." Of Sandra Bullock, he said, "a genius, a German, too many dogs." He later commented that Julia Roberts' mouth was so big, he "was aware of a faint echo" when they kissed onscreen. And while Julianne Moore, Rachel Weisz, and Drew Barrymore were all described as clever, stunning, or beautiful, the consensus was that they all "loathed him."

But it was his Bridget Jones's Diary co-star Renée Zellweger with whom he seemed to have the softest spot. Even when revisiting the matter on The Graham Norton Show in 2016, Hugh agreed with his original assessment that she's "delightful. Also far from sane. Very good kisser."

When pressed, Hugh jokingly said, "She is genuinely lovely, but her emails are 48 pages long. Can't understand a word of them."

Now, nine years later, Renée is returning to her Bridget Jones character, and the two reunite for a piece called "Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy" for British VogueBritish Vogue. After Hugh writes an intro to the piece, where he reveals he used to have tons of questions between on-set shots for Renée—questions like "If you had to marry one of today's extras, who would it be?" and "Who is a better kisser, me or Colin Firth?" He now has a whole new slew of questions. Here are a few key things we find out:


Sad Renee Zellweger GIF by Working TitleGiphy

What did Hugh always think of Renée?

He says candidly (of course), "With a lot of other actors, you think they're really great, and then suddenly you see a little glint of steely, scary ambition, and you realize this person would trample their grandmother to get what they want in this business. But I've never seen that glint coming off you. So either it's very well disguised, or you are quite nice."

What does Renée really think of Hugh?

You're hilariously brilliant at everything you hate. And, though you hate humans, you're a very good and loyal friend. I like you very much. And I love working with you."

Love Actually Dancing GIF by PeacockTVGiphy


What did Hugh really think of her English accent?

Queen Elizabeth GIFGiphy

After discussing Renée's dialect coach, Hugh tells her that her attempt at an English accent is…"perfect."

Why does the Bridget Jones franchise remain so appealing?


Renee Zellweger Romance GIF by Bridget JonesGiphy

Hugh says, "In a nutshell, I say it's an antidote to Instagram. Instagram is telling people, especially women, 'Your life's not good enough.' It's not as good as this woman's or that woman's, making you insecure. Whereas what Helen (the writer) did with Bridget is celebrate failures, while making it funny and joyful."

Renée makes some jokes and then says, "I think maybe folks recognize themselves in her and relate to her feelings of self-doubt. Bridget is authentically herself and doesn't always get it right, but whatever her imperfections, she remains joyful and optimistic, carries on, and triumphs in her own way."

What does Hugh think of Renée's fashion?


Drunk Bridget Jones GIF by Working TitleGiphy

After asking if people in general should be a "bit more stylish," Hugh tells Renée she's "very chic." Renée pushes back with, "I'm wearing a tracksuit." To which Hugh retorts, "Yeah, but a sort of PRICEY one."

And finally, those emails:

"You have sent me the longest emails I've ever received. I can't understand a single word of them. They're written in some curious language that I can't really understand."

"No!" Renée exclaims. "If you reference something in your emails that makes me laugh…I will circle back to that. And if you've forgotten that you wrote it, I don't think I should be held accountable for that!"

The laughably worst haircuts that have perfectly defined 6 different generations

History is great. But sometimes hairstyles tell us everything.

Each generation has a top and bottom cut. Let's see 'em.

When actress Sash Striga (@sashstriga on TikTok) went in for a "cool girl chic" tweak to a haircut she had gotten five days earlier, things did not go as planned. "Very flirty, very flowy," she told the stylist as they discussed making her already short hair a bit "shorter in the back" and "less wide on the sides."

"I can do that," he confidently answered. But after a long while of snipping (and then clipping!), Sash took to TikTok to describe the moment she saw him turn ghostly pale, possibly realizing he'd made a few mistakes.

In her video, she recounts the story while wearing a grey beanie. When she finally removes it, she reveals what can only be described as a Manic Pixie Dream Girl Manic Pixie Dream Girl gone horribly wrong. But her pure joy in the awfulness of it all is delightful to watch, and a good reminder that it will always grow back.

@sashstriga

I’m more mad at myself than anything tbh 🫠 #badhairday #badhaircut #toronto #torontolife #fyp #hairstyle #hair #badhaircutcheck

While all of these unfortunate trends have or will be recycled through different generations, take a look at what might arguably be the worst hair trends since the '40s!


The Silent Generation: The Bouffant

marge simpson pulling atbouffant her hairfrustrated marge simpson GIFGiphy

If you were born in the later part of this generation (say, 1943), you'd be just the right age to wear this wacky hairdo to a high school dance. There couldn’t possibly be enough hairspray or teasing combs for this up-do to reach the heavens. And yet, that never stopped anyone from trying.


Baby Boomers: The Shag

woman with shag haircutGIF by SliceGiphy

A Baby Boomer born smack-dab in the middle of their generation might have started caring about their hairstyle around 1970. This was the BEST time for hair and the Shag had it all: the bouncy middle part, the sexy curtain bangs—everything. Even the edgier cuts like The Shag were kinda hot. But even hot haircuts can turn cold with the wrong scissors.


Gen X: The Mullet

a man with a mullet fist pumping Happy Seann William Scott GIFGiphy

This "business in the front, party in the back" hairstyle is nothing new. In fact, it has been stated by historian Suetonius that "the Roman emperor Tiberius 'wore his hair rather long at the back, so much so as even to cover the nape of his neck,' and that this was a tradition of his family, the Claudians."

Technically, Boomers also bear responsibility for the mullet, but it was the Xers who really made it sing.

The '80s had so many outrageous hair choices that this category gets two entries:


Also Gen X: The Rattail

gif of men with rattails square pegs 80s GIF by absurdnoiseGiphy

Something strange emerged in the '80s. Well, a lot of strange things came about, but somewhere, some hairdresser woke up and said, "Yes, we will leave a piece of hair hanging, and sometimes, we might even braid it."


Millennials: The Bowl Cut

man shaking out his bowl cutHappy Haircut GIF by Australian Ninja WarriorGiphy

We saw the odd The Three Stooges"Moe" cut on Sash, who is technically a young millennial, just missing the cusp of a Gen Z-er by two years. At least it was a nice update to the traditionally awful "bowl cut." But it was the millennials who brought this unfortunate look back in the early '90s.


Gen Z: The Broccoli Cut (aka the Zoomer Perm)

The Broccoli Cut is..,something Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Imagine thinking this is a good idea: "We'll cut the sides real short, and leave it long on top. Sure, that works. But wait! Then we'll PERM the top and let it just sit there." For some reason, in the UK, this was renamed the "Meet me at McDonald's haircut," and it's so disturbing that some schools have even banned it. Many Zoomers disagree, though, and it's still quite a popular look on TikTok.

File:Nate Bargatze.jpg - Wikimedia Commons

Never heard of Xennials before? You're not alone! It just so happens, the term Xennial first appeared in an article for GOOD Magazine by writers Sarah Stankorb (who coined the term) and Jed Oelbaum. It was described as "a micro-generation that serves as a bridge between the disaffection of Gen X and the blithe optimism of Millennials." Other unique terms have come to describe this group (roughly figured to have been born between 1977-1983.)

These include The Star Wars Generation, The Oregon Trail Generation, and Generation Catalano, (the latter suggested by Slate writer Doree Shafrir in reference to Jordan Catalano on the hit 90s TV show My So-Called Life.) In @sourcomedy's clip making the rounds on Tiktok, Nate gives us the reasons Xennials are truly awesome. Here are a few hilarious takeaways from Nate's bit on the topic:

Growing up as a young kid felt safe.

boy holding on swing bench Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash


"When I was a kid, it felt like the 50s. You'd go outside and your parents just didn't know where you were. We went to school to school and played Oregon Trail on a computer at school! No one had a computer at home - it's like what are you a Zillionaire?"

They still had privacy.


america online email GIFGiphy

While Nate shares he got AOL, a home computer, a beeper and a cell phone in high school, he didn't have social media until he was 26 with Myspace.

"Whatever I did in high school is a rumor. It can't ruin my life!"

You are equally impressed and disappointed by other generations.


@sourcomedy

The Lucky Ones #natebargatze #natebargatzecomedy

On a hotel stay, the Chromecast on his TV stopped working so he called the front desk. "The oldest voice I ever heard answers the phone. This guy was a Civil War survivor. I mean, he was the age where you just go 'Thank you for your service.' So I tell him my Chromecast is not working and I could have just made up a word. I mean, he's never heard of that. I could have said 'My beep bop broke.' He goes, 'Look, I don't know what this is. But there's a younger guy, I'm gonna send him up, he'll be able to help you."

A guy shows up, Nate muses, and he's "his dad's age." Nate immediately determines that if he can't fix it, this guy can't either. "But he's the generation that still wants to give it a try. So he comes into my room, sits on my bed, just a little too far back, I thought."

He then says the guy grabbed the remote and just started pressing everything. Nate suggests, "I'm gonna turn the shower on, open a window, let's try everything!"

The "pressing all the buttons" tactic shockingly doesn't work. Nate shares that the guy finally says, "Alright, there's a younger guy. He's about to come to work. And at this point, I'm like 'I'm the younger guy, man. It's alright dude, I don't need it.' And he goes, 'No, no, no, it's a Millennial." And I was like 'Alright, now we're getting somewhere. This is what the Millennial does. He was born with technology, he's gonna know how to fix this!"

So the guy says the Millennial will arrive to work in an hour. And Nate tells us, "Let me tell you. You know how quick that Millennial fixed it? Well, I'll never know because he just didn't come to work that night."

And guess who relayed this message. "I found out because the old guy called me. He was supposed to fill in for him. He was furious, dude. He hates that Millennial. He goes 'He never comes to work. He doesn't take it serious. He's got a peanut allergy.'"

In the end, it took a Xennial to figure it out. "I ended up fixing it myself, because it was just unplugged. So that's yeah…that's my fault."