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Why you should let this comic book writer inspire you to be more productive, using text messages.

People are always looking for that "one weird trick" that will rocket them to success.

Life hacks are up there with cats and reaction GIFs on the list of Things the Internet Loves. Everybody's eager to find that perfect shortcut for living a full, productive life without actually doing anything. There are probably more Super Clever How-To Guides for Being Awesome online than there are people in the world. Which kinda makes sense when you think about it: We still haven't found the One True Way to Do Things Better/Stronger/Faster, so we have to keep hunting for the next best option.

(Unless someone has figured it out, and they're just not telling us. In which case, not cool.)

But if there's anyone who knows how to get sh*t done, it's comic book writer (and certified BAMF) Kelly Sue DeConnick.

Kelly Sue is probably best known for her work on Marvel's "Captain Marvel" comic book, which inspired a rabid legion of fans calling themselves "The Carol Corps" after the main character, Carol Danvers. DeConnick also writes the death western "Pretty Deadly" and the femmesploitation prison book "Bitch Planet" while running a film/TV production company with her husband (and fellow comic book writer) Matt Fraction and raising two adorably weird kids (plus she invented the "Sexy Lamp Test," which is kinda like the Bechdel Test only better). "Vanity Fair" calls her "The Future of Women in Comics."

So basically, she's got a lot on her plate. But somehow, she gets it all done and still has time to engage with fans on Twitter and Tumblr.


Kelly Sue (kneeling, center) with a few members of the Carol Corps. Photo via Flickr.

DeConnick has also volunteered to be your very own personal life coach/motivational speaker (via text message).

You don't have to follow Kelly Sue's 3 a.m. to 8 p.m. daily schedule to be productive.

All you need to do is text @bitchesg to (971) 244.8342, and Kelly Sue will send you a daily dose of how-to hints and motivational ass-kickery.

She calls it B*tches Get Sh*t Done because as Tina Fey and Amy Poehler famously declared, women who are often considered such tend to also be renowned for their remarkable levels of productivity. Translation:

Of course, they had to censor themselves for NBC (Kelly Sue has no such qualms). GIF from "Saturday Night Live."

Kelly Sue launched B*tches Get Sh*t Done in January 2014. She was mostly just messing around after hearing about an SMS subscription service called Remind which allows teachers to mass-text their students with reminders and assignments (which, to me, sounds absolutely horrible). In this case, Kelly Sue is the teacher, and the 2,000 people who subscribe to the service are her productivity disciples.

Kelly Sue being infinitely more productive than you. Photo by Terra Clarke Olsen/Flickr.

So no, sadly, you're not the only one she's texting (sorry). But there's something about that little message that feels remarkably personal — moreso than, say, an email, or even a social media feed that you have to manually scroll through. When you hear that little ping in the middle of the day (or in my case, that R2-D2 bleep-bloop) signifying a new text, it's almost like Auntie Kelly Sue is looking over your shoulder and reminding you that you're awesome and that you're doing a good job but that seriously you need to get to work.

B*tches Get Sh*t Done might not change your life, but it will nag you with positivity until your sh*t gets done.

B*tches Get Sh*t Done's daily inspiration comes in many different forms. But perhaps what's best about it is that it doesn't pretend to be some deep, profound revelation that will change your life. It's a friendly, positive reminder that the best way to get sh*t done is to, well, get sh*t done.

Here are a few of my favorites, courtesy of the BGSD Tumblr archive:

https://bgsd-archive.tumblr.com/post/110652616978/being-uncomfortable-is-a-reasonable-price-to-pay

https://bgsd-archive.tumblr.com/post/110735923974/stop-for-a-sec-find-a-mirror-tent-your-fingers

https://bgsd-archive.tumblr.com/post/109790123084/someone-somewhere-is-playing-eye-of-the-tiger

https://bgsd-archive.tumblr.com/post/113204411771/itll-go-better-tomorrow-bgsd

https://bgsd-archive.tumblr.com/post/125526503433/12-of-sharks-glow-not-sure-why-i-find-that

https://bgsd-archive.tumblr.com/post/126442172306/overwhelmed-1-thing-at-a-time-small-bites

https://bgsd-archive.tumblr.com/post/126350499906/bitches-get-shit-d-monday-fresh-start-clean

At the end of the day, it's still up you to make sh*t happen. Still, sometimes it helps to have a swift kick in the app.

(That app being Messages. See what I did there?)

To me, the best part about BGSD is the fact that there's no new age-y mantra about it. It's a refreshingly realistic approach that's obvious and yet so easy to forget: You get sh*t done by doing sh*t, so stop searching for shortcuts and just do the sh*t.

That's why it's nice to be reminded every now and then and to have someone else tell you that you're on the right path but that also maybe it would help if you went for a walk or wrote out your to-do list and actually stuck to it this time and made sure to really cross things off as you go and also don't forget that thing that you've been putting off but really need to do!

I could keep going, but what's the point? I got sh*t that needs doin'! (Like filing this story, for example.)

Kelly Sue being more effing metal than you. Photo by Pat Loika/Flickr (text added).

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5 ways people are going "All In" this week

From the silly to the sentimental, there are so many ways people like to go “all in” on something. Here are our five favorite examples this week.

5 ways people are going "All In" this week
5 ways people are going "All In" this week
5 ways people are going "All In" this week
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When you hear the words “all in,” what do you think? You might think of getting groovy at a nursing home, a french bulldog having a total breakdown in the drive-thru, or maybe even a snack bar company promoting self care. Whatever you picture, the idea is the same: Going “all in” means doing something with total commitment—literally giving it your “all” and going completely over the top. No second guessing, no holding back—just full-throttle enthusiasm with some creativity and flair thrown in. That’s how we get those viral internet moments we can’t stop watching.

This DWTS dance trend 

If you’ve been watching TV or on the internet this week, you might have seen the viral dance move Dylan Efron and Daniella Karagach performed while on Dancing With The Stars (DWTS) last week. The one particular move, where Dylan holds Daniella as she does a mid-air horizontal walk, is going viral with over 8k videos using the sound. Some of my personal favorites include a mom and her baby, two girls or a girl and her cat, proving this dance trend is truly for anyone to try.

All In on Fiber

Speaking of trends, there’s one that really is about going “all in”, it’s called #fibermaxxing. After years of protein being the biggest nutrition trend, it looks like fiber might be taking over. For good reason too, while protein can cause issues with digestion, fiber can lead to better digestion, blood sugar management, weight control and reduced disease risk. Our friends at All In made a video explaining the #fibermaxxing trend. Each All In bar has 6 to 7 grams of fiber , plus they are delicious. Don't take our word for it, though: Click here to try it yourself (for free).

This child's long hair

This creator went all in… on pranking the audience. I don’t want to give away the contents of this video, but let’s just say it’s creative- and it made me quite literally laugh out loud. There are a lot of "momfluencers" out there who make content that uses their children, and as relatable and heartfelt as it is, sometimes a little satire break is worth appreciating.

Two entrepreneurs getting down to business


Lots of people dabble in entrepreneurship. These two went "all in" on helping others learn it. After four years of interviews with CEOs , research, edits, and a Penguin Random House book deal (yes, seriously), their book, Down to Business, has made its way into classrooms and libraries around the world. Now they are teaching other kids that age is not a barrier to entry in entrepreneurship; the earlier you start, the further you can go—and an entrepreneurial mindset will serve you no matter what you do in life.

Bridesmaids who went all in

Last on our list; two bridesmaids who committed to the bit. These ladies went “all in” in their remake of the legendary scene from the movie “Bridesmaids”. If you haven’t seen the original movie, starring Kristen Wig and Maya Rudolph, this might be your sign.

In the viral TikTok this bride, Caroline, had no idea what was coming when she put on her favorite movie while getting ready for her big day. The fact that she wanted to watch her favorite show before her bridesmaids surprised her, makes this going “all in” surprise all the better.

Snag your free (!!) snack bar here while this deal lasts. Just pick up a bar at Sprouts and text a pic ofv your receipt to get it for free. Enoy!

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Sustainability

Beavers were brought to the desert to save a dying river. Six years later, here are the results.

Their engineering feats are pretty dam incredible.

beavers, beaver dam, animals, wildlife, ecosystem, nature, earth, sustainability, deserts, waterways, rivers, pollution, climate change
Canva Photos

Can outsider beavers save this dried up river?

It's not easy being a river in the desert under the best of circumstances. The ecosystem exists in a very delicate balance, allowing water sources to thrive in the harsh conditions. These water sources in otherwise extremely dry areas are vital to the survival of unique wildlife, agriculture, and even tourism as they provide fresh drinking water for the people who live nearby.

But man-made problems like climate change, over-farming, and pollution have made a tough job even tougher in some areas. Rivers in Utah and Colorado part of the Colorado River Basin have been barely surviving the extremely harsh drought season. When the riverbeds get too dry, fish and other aquatic creatures die off and the wildfire risk increases dramatically.

About six years ago, one team of researchers had a fascinating idea to restore the health of some of Utah's most vulnerable rivers: Bring in the beavers.

beavers, beaver dam, animals, wildlife, ecosystem, nature, earth, sustainability, deserts, waterways, rivers, pollution, climate change Beaver on riverbank. Canva Photos

In 2019, master's student Emma Doden and a team of researchers from Utah State University began a "translocation" project to bring displaced beavers to areas like Utah's Price River, in the hopes of bringing it back to life.

Why beavers? Well, it just makes dam sense! (Sorry.)

In all seriousness, beaver dams restrict the flow of water in some areas of a river, creating ponds and wetlands. In drought-stricken areas, fish and other wildlife can take refuge in the ponds while the rest of the river runs dry, thus riding out the danger until it rains again.

When beavers are present in a watershed, the benefits are unbelievable: Better water quality, healthier fish populations, better nutrient availability, and fewer or less severe wildfires.

It's why beavers have earned the title of "keystone species," or any animal that has a disproportionate impact on the ecosystem around them.

beaver, dam, dam building, nature, ecosystem Pbs Nature Swimming GIF by Nature on PBS Giphy

Doden and her team took beavers who were captured or removed from their original homes due to their being a "nuisance," interfering with infrastructure, or being endangered, and—after a short period of quarantine—were brought to the Price River.

Despite the research team's best efforts, not all the translocated beavers have survived or stayed put over the years. Some have trouble adapting to their new home and die off or are killed by predators, while others leave of their own accord.

But sine 2019, enough have stayed and built dams that the team is starting to see the results of the effort. In fact, beaver projects just like this one have been going on all over the state in recent years.

- YouTube youtu.be

The water levels in the river are now the healthiest they've been in years. The fish are thriving and Utah residents are overjoyed with the experiment's results.

According to an early 2025 column in The Salt Lake Tribune (i.e. six years after the beaver translocation began) the revitalization of the Price River has "helped save [our] Utah town."

"A tributary of the Colorado River, the Price River runs through downtown Helper," wrote column authors Lenise Peterman and Jordan Nielson. "On a warm day, you’re likely to find the river filled with tourists and locals kayaking, tubing and fishing along its shore. A decade ago, it was hard to imagine this scene—and the thriving recreation economy that comes with it—was possible."

Of course, it wasn't JUST the beavers. Other federal water cleanup investments helped remove debris, break down old and malfunctioning dams, and place tighter regulations on agriculture grazing in the area that depleted vital plant life.

But the experts know that the beavers, and their incredible engineering work, are the real MVPs.

beavers, beaver dam, animals, wildlife, ecosystem, nature, earth, sustainability, deserts, waterways, rivers, pollution, climate change An actual beaver dam on the now-thriving Price River Public Domain

In other drying, struggling rivers in the area, researchers are bringing in beavers and even creating manmade beaver dams. They're hoping that the critters will take over the job as the rivers get healthier.

Utah's San Rafael River, which is in bleak condition, is a prime candidate. In one area of the river, a natural flood inspired a host of beavers to return to the area and "riparian habitat along that stretch had increased by 230%, and it had the most diverse flow patterns of anywhere on the river," according to KUER.

It's hard to believe that beavers nearly went extinct during the heyday of the fur trapping industry, and continued to struggle as they were considered nuisances and pests. Now, they're getting the respect they deserve as engineer marvels, and their populations have rebounded due to better PR and conservation programs.

It's about dam time!

This article originally appeared in June.

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Celebrity

Days from turning 100, Dick Van Dyke shares how avoiding hate and anger has kept him going

Wisdom we can all take to heart.

Dick Van Dyke, entertainment, 100th birthday, longevity, aging well
Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons

Dick Van Dyke has aged remarkably.

If all goes as planned, Dick Van Dyke will celebrate his 100th birthday on December 13, 2025—a remarkable milestone for the remarkable entertainer who has been wowing us since the original Mary Poppins film. Van Dyke has been in show business longer than most humans live, and as he nears a full century of life, he's sharing some reflections.

In an interview with People, Van Dyke said he feels "really good for 100," with no pain and no discomfort. He said people ask him what he did right, and he says, "Don't ask. I don't know." He said he's "rather lazy." However, he did put forth a theory about what may be at least partially responsible for his longevity.

dick van dyke, marry poppins, penguin dance, disney, longevity Hard to imagine Dick Van Dyke being "lazy." Giphy

"I've always thought that anger is one thing that eats up a person's insides," he said. "And hate. I never really was able to work up a feeling of hate. You know, there are things I don't like, people I don't like and disapprove of, but I never really was able to do a white heat kind of hate."

He said his father was "a person who was constantly upset by the state of things in his life and everything." He died at 74 years old.

"I think that is one of the chief things that kept me going," Van Dyke said.

Can a lack of anger really give you a longer life?

While there are no surefire secrets to living to 100, there are some things we know can affect people's health in ways that might shorten their lives. One of those things is anger.

We all feel angry sometimes, of course, but excessive anger or unmanaged anger over time can have serious health consequences. In one 2024 study, researchers found that people who were asked to recount memories that made them angry (as opposed to anxious, sad, or emotionally neutral) had significant impairment in blood vessel dilation compared to the other groups.

"The researchers propose that repeated episodes of negative emotions like anger might have a cumulative effect on cardiovascular health," the researchers wrote. "Over time, ongoing anger might lead to permanent damage and increased risk for cardiovascular disease."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

What about the health effects of hate?

Hate is a bit harder of a feeling to pin down than anger as there's a wide range of what it means. Obviously, hate can lead to harm for people on the receiving end of it. But does hate hurt the hater, too?

"Little research has been done to analyze hate’s specific symptoms or physical effects," writes Laura Williams for EverydayHealth. "But hate often coincides with other strong emotions, like anger, humiliation, or powerlessness, all of which take a toll."

There is evidence that the opposite of anger and hate—positive emotions like joy and love, which are part of healthy relationships and community—can have a positive impact on our health. So while we can't say for certain that Dick Van Dyke's lack of anger and hate has led to his century-long life, we can logically deduce that the joy and love he is known for may have helped him maintain good health for this long.

Vad Dyke also told People that he's not afraid of death when it comes. "I don't have any fear of it for some reason," he said. "I can't explain that, but I don't. I've had such a wonderfully full and exciting life that I can't complain. It's almost like it's accidental. I was having the time of my life doing all this stuff and creating a legacy at the same time. What I've left in the way of children's entertainment and children's music, I believe that's my legacy."

And what a legacy it is. Van Dyke's wife, Arlene, has planned a big birthday celebration for him, which he says he's looking forward to as long as he feels up for it. We'll all be there celebrating with him in spirit.

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10-year-old girl walks into police station and brings officers to tears with 2 simple words

She's been handing out handwritten cards to officers all over the country ever since.

police, cops, police officers, law enforcement, heroes, 10-year-old, thank you letters, kindness
Photo credit: Canva

A 10-year-old has been handing out Thank You cards to police officers across the country for years.

10-year-old Savannah Solis knew she had to do something. Per KHOUN, the girl from Tyler, Texas had heard the tragic news that two local police officers in New York had been murdered. The news, all the way back in 2015, brought her to tears.

Solis knew that, as a kid, there wasn't much she could do, to stop the bad guys, to make the world safer. But she dreamed of one day being a police officer herself and being able to help. As a 5-year-old, Solis says her mother had a heart attack and the first person to arrive and offer help was a police officer. She never forgot that officer's kindness and bravery.

Savannah’s mom, Debbie, recalled the immense love and support the girl had for police officers all over the world. Inspired and mesmerized by their line of duty, she hoped and wished only the best for each of them. “We would drive by and see them stopping somebody and in the backseat she would pray, asking God to take care of them,” the mom recounted.

In the meantime, she wanted the heroes in her own community to know that she cared. So she decided to write personal letters. Hundreds of them.

police, cops, police officers, law enforcement, heroes, 10-year-old, thank you letters, kindness a piece of paper with a heart drawn on it Photo by Immo Wegmann on Unsplash

Her letters had two words recurring each time, “Thank you.”

Furthermore, the girl explained as best as she could what their service meant to her and how grateful she was to them for saving lives.

During her Christmas break, the girl went all out making these letters and posting them—she even delivered a few personally to police departments all over Texas.

“You are my heroes. I want to say don’t stop, please don’t give up. Many do not care or appreciate the sacrifices you make every day. But I do,” the girl remarked. Savannah added a note of inspiration which read, “Many are standing with me today to let you know that you matter. Officers across Texas, you matter to me. Officers in New York City, you matter to me. Officers all across America, you matter to me. Please keep taking care of us.”

One of Solis' deliveries was caught on video, per KXAN, where officers were moved to tears by her gesture.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

She went about taking autographs of as many officers as she could. Debbie noted that her daughter didn’t want celebrity or artist autographs but those of the cops. All the officers are seen shaking hands and getting teary-eyed as they read the cards colored and highlighted with the title, “My hero.”

Austin Police Department Assistant Chief Jessica Robledo felt proud of the girl’s gesture and of the fact that their role was so valued in someone’s eyes.

“The words she spoke from her heart touched every single officer. I noticed everyone was trying to blink back tears. That’s what it’s all about. She is an old soul. She knows the right thing to say and I don’t think she even realizes the impact of her words on these officers and this department,” she remarked.

That was 10 years ago. As Solis grew up, she continued her personal outreach to police officers all over the country, letting them know that their bravery was appreciated.

She visited a precinct in Manchester, New Hampshire as recently in 2021 where she brought cards to the officers, met the K9 dogs, and was introduced to the police horses as well. Commenters were blown away that Solis was continuing the gesture after so many years.

"Savanna. Officers need that inspiration with everything going on today. You're remarkable for doing this."

"Amazing young lady right, thank you Savannah I appreciate all your efforts to show your appreciation for our men, woman, dogs and horses in blue"

"What an amazing young woman thank you for sharing this post and thank you for your service to our city. And all the law enforcement officers all over the Country."

Bravo, Savannah!

This article originally appeared in July. It has been updated.

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Pop Culture

John Oliver raised $1.5 million for public media by auctioning off the wildest TV props

A bidet signed by a costumed metal band? Sure! All for a great cause.

john oliver, last week tonight, gwar, bob ross, auction
Photo credit: Montclair Film via Wikimedia Commons (left, cropped), Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 / swimfinfan via Wikimedia Commons (right, cropped), Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0

John Oliver raised over $1.5 million through a silly and sweet auction.

During the Season 12 finale of his rapid-fire deep-dive HBO series, Last Week Tonight, host John Oliver took a 35-minute look at the state of public media in 2025. It all culminated in a signature wash of absurdity and thoughtfulness: The comedian announced an online auction, pledging the proceeds from dozens of hilariously wacky show props and nifty fan experiences to Public Media Bridge Fund, which serves at-risk communities. According to Variety, that initiative earned over $1.5 million—an amazing figure, especially given the weirdness of many of these auctioned items.

Before we dive into that, it’s worth noting the cultural backdrop: a recent law slashing a reported $1.1 billion in funding to the Corporation for Public Broadcasting through the 2027 fiscal year. Throughout the episode, Oliver spent a half-hour diving into the history of public media, the impact these budget cuts could have on everyday Americans, and—in a signature slice of Oliver silliness—the wonders of Mr. Bean. Then he unveiled the auction, hosted at a site amazingly called JohnOliversJunk.com.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

A Bob Ross painting was auctioned for big money

That $1.5 million auction figure is impressive, and a massive chunk of it comes from "Cabin at Sunset," an original Bob Ross painting created during a 1986 episode of his beloved PBS series, The Joy of Painting. Per Variety’s final tallies, the characteristically serene landscape fetched "around $1,044,000 after 35 bids." As an impressive sidebar, per NBC News, this follows the $600,000-plus total earned from three Ross originals auctioned only weeks earlier in a similar effort to aid public broadcasting.

Now here’s where the bizarre stuff comes in. Numerous items from Last Week Tonight’s auction were actually featured in comedic asides, miniature sketches, and running bits from the show—including a jock strap apparently "worn by [actor] Russell Crowe in the major motion picture Cinderella Man (2005) and later purchased by Last Week Tonight with John Oliver during season 5 of the show." Naturally, it earned $21,000.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Absurd(ly funny) items from the Last Week Tonight auction

Other highlights include a massive "sculpture of President Lyndon B. Johnson's scrotum" ($25,500), numerous wax figures of various U.S. presidents (the Bill Clinton was sold for $6,000), and "Mrs. Cabbage Oliver." (The latter—well, you need to watch the episode in question to understand, but it involves Steve Buscemi officiating a wedding between Oliver and a cabbage as part of a Season 9 piece about AI-generated art. Really. It sold for $11,111.)

The funniest piece could well be a bidet signed by Blöthar the Berserker, singer of the famously costumed metal band GWAR. While the final numbers are no longer viewable on the auction site, Consequence reports that they viewed a winning bid of $6,000 "the last time [they] checked."

Last Week Tonight also auctioned off a number of fan experiences, including two VIP tickets to attend an in-person taping and appear on the show as an "over the shoulder" graphic ($100,025, per Variety). If you’re an Oliver superfan—or just someone who wants to support the overall mission—you can always donate directly through the Public Media site, which outlines their overall mission to "secure local public media service across the country, with an early focus on rural and underserved communities where public media organizations face the greatest risks."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

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Culture

Unconventional but non-negotiable things people require in a partner

"Do you believe in dinosaurs?"

non-negotiable, unconventional, people, partner, insightful options, relationships, qualities
Photo credit Canva

Couple on an enjoyable dinner date.

Finding the perfect partner might take an entire lifetime. Some people discover their high school sweetheart who brings them all the way to the finish line. Others find themselves searching for that relationship well into adulthood. Still others are never able to find the perfect match.

It takes time to truly understand the qualities a person wants in a prospective partner. It can be the failed relationships of the past or valuable therapy sessions that uncover the perfect ideals we seek.

In a r/AskReddit thread, an important question was posed: "What is your unconventional 'I need this in a partner' that you will not negotiate on?" People offered up some really unique and insightful opinions.

dinosaurs, flat earther, intellignece, cognitive processing, belief systems, historical accuracies, reality Dinosaur bones.Photo credit Canva

"The Dinosaur Test"

There can be numerous details that signal compatibility. One consistent idea was shared intelligence and belief systems. A 2022 study in Stanford Medicine found that marital relationships were more successful when partners shared similar cognitive processing. Relationship happiness was affected by higher synchronization and similar neural response times.

Here are some of the more intellectually inclined responses:

"This is weird, but it’s a question I always ask right away: if they believe in dinosaurs. I once dated a guy so religious he didnt believe they existed because they are not mentioned in the Bible. Now I make sure they have the minimum level of intelligence."

"Has to share my annoyance at historical inaccuracies."

"I need a partner who loves learning, not their own dogmatic interpretation of reality."

"I would argue that flat earth is an order of magnitude worse... Whereas with the spherical earth, I have done the research. I can see the moon, sun, and some of the planets are spherical. I don't have good enough a telescope for then all I've been out in the ocean. I can perform the thought experiment 'if gravity doesn't exist, and everything just falls down, why do i fall faster than the ground when i jump' and 'why hasn't all the water fallen over the edge?'"

"I was coming here to say 'they must be willing to learn' but this sums it up perfectly."

"If I was on a date and somebody asked me if I believe in dinosaurs I'd be like 'you mean do I believe in dinosaurs achieving their goals and dreams?'"

juggling, skills, unique talents, habits, gifts, focus, abilities, training, party tricks A jump and juggle.Photo credit Canva

"Special Set of Skills"

Some people are just a little more uniquely talented than others. There can be physical gifts or habits that have developed abilities the typical person may never acquire. A 2025 study in the National Library of Medicine found that engaging in novel activities can reduce boredom and improve relationship quality.

"Ok. Its kinda weird but I find juggling hot. Theres something both absolutely mesmerizing about it and the whole being able to concentrate and focus so well is just a crazy turn on. My partner doesnt do it often but lord when I catch him doing it. Mmm."

"i love weird hobbies! doesnt matter if im into them at all - i will enjoy it! harmonica playing, figurine painting, aquascaping, mushroom growing, unicycle riding... its the unashamed passion that gets me. Well, that and the fact that i have my own weird hobbies"

"As someone who unexpectedly crushed on three separate men with circus and French clown training in my 20s: I know exactly what you mean. Invite me to stand on your shoulders at the end of a date?"

"Occasionally I juggle things like potatoes or tennis balls to make sure I still can. I also juggle in front of people as a party trick. I always thought that it would be amusing at best and a silly thing that people will try to see if they can do it as well. I never thought that it would be a turn on for somebody."

widow, widower, grief, traumatic experience, couple, dual-trauma, spouses, death The widow.Photo credit Canva

"Widow meets Widower"

Finding a connection through shared traumatic experiences, some argue, is a valuable benefit when seeking a partner. A 2025 study in Sage Journals reported that "dual-trauma" couples revealed increased emotional difficulties, relational dysfunction, and intimacy issues. Here is what some Redditors had to say about it:

"As a widow, I feel like I'd need a widower. It seems like we'd both be a bit more understanding of each other."

"I think one of the biggest challenges is not just empathizing with the loss, but understanding that you may never take their place."

"Divorced is not the same as widowed- I promise"

"For perspective I was widowed at 37 2.5 years years ago . Left with three kids ages 5 to 16. His death was sudden. I am now 40 and have an amazing man in my life . Was never married nor had kids . He has taken us all on with nothing but love and kindness . He even honors their father and his memory. Sometimes, someone with just a kind gentle soul, with no background in anything like yours , comes along! So while widowers may understand better , some who haven’t been down that same hurt road understand and go above and beyond too !"

"I can imagine how hard it would be with a non-widowed partner who starts feeling insecure about the deceased spouse, comparing themselves to them, etc. Then the whole removing remnants of them in the house thing. I wouldn't be able to handle that."

"I'm a widow (5 years) in a two-year relationship with a widower (3 years), and it is perfect for us. Our late spouses are an important part of our lives, and we talk about them (and even to them) frequently. We understand the grief of not only losing our beloved spouses, but also losing the future we planned with our life mates."

adventure, vacations, travel, mountains, psychological well-being, mood, life satisfaction, restless Overlooking a mountain adventure.Photo credit Canva

"The Mobile Adventurer"

People can get a bit restless if they aren't allowed to get out into the world and stretch their legs. A 2021 study in Science Direct suggested people drawn to adventure and travel showed overall improved psychological wellness and significantly boosted mood and life satisfaction.

"I need someone who either understands and supports my need to occasionally disappear into the mountains for days on end, or will do it with me."

"I disappear every year into rural India. Keeps me sane the other 11 months. It's non-negotiable. I save all year so it doesn't financially affect anyone else. My husband is welcome to come with me if he wants and we can afford it."

"I also work remotely, so I can move year after year. I don't think living like that year round is in the cards for me, but a good break every so often where I can get away from it all while still working would be so peaceful."

"Yup. I go on all day bike rides some times. Ex get up at 5 and bike to the next state line and then take the long way home. My husband told me when we first started dating that his friends thought I might be cheating. He told them that I actually was working out"

"There are just a few people in the world who I’ve met who I could tolerate along side me disappearing into the mountains but it’s nice to see that it’s not such an uncommon need"

"Initially this caused some insecurity with my current partner but after he joined me a few times he understands it now. I just need to disappear into the wilderness."

feet, couples, monogamy, polyamorous, committed relationship, multiple partners, intimate activities, sex Looks like 6 feet under the covers.Photo credit Canva

"Love is a Potluck"

For some, there can be only two people in an intimate relationship. Others want the ability to have multiple partners. A 2025 study in Phys.Org investigated which type of relationships are more successful. It concluded that unconventional relationships are just as satisfying as monogamous partnerships. A healthy relationship structure shares similar characteristics, such as honesty, communication, trust, and clear boundaries.

"I've never been open to non monogamy when I'm in a committed relationship. I'm either single and do whatever or I'm all in."

"Human relationships have no set rules, of any kind. The ones we made up about romantic relationships being a distinct kind of relationship, and about sex being an intimate activity that is completely distinct from other intimate activities, are made up. Of course they are different, but they do not warrant another set of rules completely just because they are a different thing."

"I don't do monogamy, that's the first bar to clear."

"Unconventional? I guess some people find my requirement for polyamory/ or at the very least some form of ethical non monogamy unconventional, although I find it normal."

"I want a partner who will at least be down to go to a swingers club with me."

random likes, giphy, games, cute, meme, playful, Yankees, sports "Bow chicka bow wow!" media0.giphy.com

"Some Random Needs"

People can hold a wide range of unique desires. These feelings often determine whether someone is more likely to enter into a relationship. Here are some more out-of-the-box ideas offered by Redditors:

"I love watching period shows and googling along to see what really happened."

"I only date mathematicians"

"Ability to make decent potato salad."

"I look for the ability to make pancakes."

"I can’t date someone with a racist family."

"They gotta be like, unquestionably an asset not a liability in a zombie apocalypse"

"Loose cartilage in the tip of their nose so it wiggles a little when they talk."

"He needs to have so much body hair people should question if he’s really human."

"Left my last girlfriend because she did completely open anything... i hate having that tin foil cover under the lid to the sour cream. Its now a requirement, and the first thing i ask about anybody i date."

"Sleeping in separate rooms. I am an extremely sensitive sleeper and for the life of me cannot fall asleep if someone else is in the room."

"For me, it's fear of birds. What a freaking turn off it is to feel your man flinch while making out because a bird in a cage chirped."

"I can’t be with a man who wears pointy-toed shoes. Or boots. It’s just a gut feeling. I just can’t trust a man with witchy feet."

"How they drive is really important to me. If they tailgate, have road rage, or speed up when people try to pass them, I’m out."

"Gotta like horror movies. I spend a lot of time watching or reading horror."

stronger relationships, virutes, truth hurts, best interests, dating, high value, needs Two people sharing a milkshake. Photo credit Canva

Whatever your particular quirks and needs, bringing them to the table early is probably in your best interest. A 2025 study in University Lab Sites found that telling the truth, especially about sensitive and even potentially threatening topics, contributed to stronger relationships. Honesty is a highly valued virtue that benefits all relationships, even when the truth may hurt.

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