Why you should let this comic book writer inspire you to be more productive, using text messages.

People are always looking for that "one weird trick" that will rocket them to success.

Life hacks are up there with cats and reaction GIFs on the list of Things the Internet Loves. Everybody's eager to find that perfect shortcut for living a full, productive life without actually doing anything. There are probably more Super Clever How-To Guides for Being Awesome online than there are people in the world. Which kinda makes sense when you think about it: We still haven't found the One True Way to Do Things Better/Stronger/Faster, so we have to keep hunting for the next best option.

(Unless someone has figured it out, and they're just not telling us. In which case, not cool.)


But if there's anyone who knows how to get sh*t done, it's comic book writer (and certified BAMF) Kelly Sue DeConnick.

Kelly Sue is probably best known for her work on Marvel's "Captain Marvel" comic book, which inspired a rabid legion of fans calling themselves "The Carol Corps" after the main character, Carol Danvers. DeConnick also writes the death western "Pretty Deadly" and the femmesploitation prison book "Bitch Planet" while running a film/TV production company with her husband (and fellow comic book writer) Matt Fraction and raising two adorably weird kids (plus she invented the "Sexy Lamp Test," which is kinda like the Bechdel Test only better). "Vanity Fair" calls her "The Future of Women in Comics."

So basically, she's got a lot on her plate. But somehow, she gets it all done and still has time to engage with fans on Twitter and Tumblr.


Kelly Sue (kneeling, center) with a few members of the Carol Corps. Photo via Flickr.

DeConnick has also volunteered to be your very own personal life coach/motivational speaker (via text message).

You don't have to follow Kelly Sue's 3 a.m. to 8 p.m. daily schedule to be productive.

All you need to do is text @bitchesg to (971) 244.8342, and Kelly Sue will send you a daily dose of how-to hints and motivational ass-kickery.

She calls it B*tches Get Sh*t Done because as Tina Fey and Amy Poehler famously declared, women who are often considered such tend to also be renowned for their remarkable levels of productivity. Translation:

Of course, they had to censor themselves for NBC (Kelly Sue has no such qualms). GIF from "Saturday Night Live."

Kelly Sue launched B*tches Get Sh*t Done in January 2014. She was mostly just messing around after hearing about an SMS subscription service called Remind which allows teachers to mass-text their students with reminders and assignments (which, to me, sounds absolutely horrible). In this case, Kelly Sue is the teacher, and the 2,000 people who subscribe to the service are her productivity disciples.

Kelly Sue being infinitely more productive than you. Photo by Terra Clarke Olsen/Flickr.

So no, sadly, you're not the only one she's texting (sorry). But there's something about that little message that feels remarkably personal — moreso than, say, an email, or even a social media feed that you have to manually scroll through. When you hear that little ping in the middle of the day (or in my case, that R2-D2 bleep-bloop) signifying a new text, it's almost like Auntie Kelly Sue is looking over your shoulder and reminding you that you're awesome and that you're doing a good job but that seriously you need to get to work.

B*tches Get Sh*t Done might not change your life, but it will nag you with positivity until your sh*t gets done.

B*tches Get Sh*t Done's daily inspiration comes in many different forms. But perhaps what's best about it is that it doesn't pretend to be some deep, profound revelation that will change your life. It's a friendly, positive reminder that the best way to get sh*t done is to, well, get sh*t done.

Here are a few of my favorites, courtesy of the BGSD Tumblr archive:

http://bgsd-archive.tumblr.com/post/110652616978/being-uncomfortable-is-a-reasonable-price-to-pay

http://bgsd-archive.tumblr.com/post/110735923974/stop-for-a-sec-find-a-mirror-tent-your-fingers

http://bgsd-archive.tumblr.com/post/109790123084/someone-somewhere-is-playing-eye-of-the-tiger

http://bgsd-archive.tumblr.com/post/113204411771/itll-go-better-tomorrow-bgsd

http://bgsd-archive.tumblr.com/post/125526503433/12-of-sharks-glow-not-sure-why-i-find-that

http://bgsd-archive.tumblr.com/post/126442172306/overwhelmed-1-thing-at-a-time-small-bites

http://bgsd-archive.tumblr.com/post/126350499906/bitches-get-shit-d-monday-fresh-start-clean

At the end of the day, it's still up you to make sh*t happen. Still, sometimes it helps to have a swift kick in the app.

(That app being Messages. See what I did there?)

To me, the best part about BGSD is the fact that there's no new age-y mantra about it. It's a refreshingly realistic approach that's obvious and yet so easy to forget: You get sh*t done by doing sh*t, so stop searching for shortcuts and just do the sh*t.

That's why it's nice to be reminded every now and then and to have someone else tell you that you're on the right path but that also maybe it would help if you went for a walk or wrote out your to-do list and actually stuck to it this time and made sure to really cross things off as you go and also don't forget that thing that you've been putting off but really need to do!

I could keep going, but what's the point? I got sh*t that needs doin'! (Like filing this story, for example.)

Kelly Sue being more effing metal than you. Photo by Pat Loika/Flickr (text added).

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