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Why you should let this comic book writer inspire you to be more productive, using text messages.

People are always looking for that "one weird trick" that will rocket them to success.

Life hacks are up there with cats and reaction GIFs on the list of Things the Internet Loves. Everybody's eager to find that perfect shortcut for living a full, productive life without actually doing anything. There are probably more Super Clever How-To Guides for Being Awesome online than there are people in the world. Which kinda makes sense when you think about it: We still haven't found the One True Way to Do Things Better/Stronger/Faster, so we have to keep hunting for the next best option.

(Unless someone has figured it out, and they're just not telling us. In which case, not cool.)


But if there's anyone who knows how to get sh*t done, it's comic book writer (and certified BAMF) Kelly Sue DeConnick.

Kelly Sue is probably best known for her work on Marvel's "Captain Marvel" comic book, which inspired a rabid legion of fans calling themselves "The Carol Corps" after the main character, Carol Danvers. DeConnick also writes the death western "Pretty Deadly" and the femmesploitation prison book "Bitch Planet" while running a film/TV production company with her husband (and fellow comic book writer) Matt Fraction and raising two adorably weird kids (plus she invented the "Sexy Lamp Test," which is kinda like the Bechdel Test only better). "Vanity Fair" calls her "The Future of Women in Comics."

So basically, she's got a lot on her plate. But somehow, she gets it all done and still has time to engage with fans on Twitter and Tumblr.


Kelly Sue (kneeling, center) with a few members of the Carol Corps. Photo via Flickr.

DeConnick has also volunteered to be your very own personal life coach/motivational speaker (via text message).

You don't have to follow Kelly Sue's 3 a.m. to 8 p.m. daily schedule to be productive.

All you need to do is text @bitchesg to (971) 244.8342, and Kelly Sue will send you a daily dose of how-to hints and motivational ass-kickery.

She calls it B*tches Get Sh*t Done because as Tina Fey and Amy Poehler famously declared, women who are often considered such tend to also be renowned for their remarkable levels of productivity. Translation:

Of course, they had to censor themselves for NBC (Kelly Sue has no such qualms). GIF from "Saturday Night Live."

Kelly Sue launched B*tches Get Sh*t Done in January 2014. She was mostly just messing around after hearing about an SMS subscription service called Remind which allows teachers to mass-text their students with reminders and assignments (which, to me, sounds absolutely horrible). In this case, Kelly Sue is the teacher, and the 2,000 people who subscribe to the service are her productivity disciples.

Kelly Sue being infinitely more productive than you. Photo by Terra Clarke Olsen/Flickr.

So no, sadly, you're not the only one she's texting (sorry). But there's something about that little message that feels remarkably personal — moreso than, say, an email, or even a social media feed that you have to manually scroll through. When you hear that little ping in the middle of the day (or in my case, that R2-D2 bleep-bloop) signifying a new text, it's almost like Auntie Kelly Sue is looking over your shoulder and reminding you that you're awesome and that you're doing a good job but that seriously you need to get to work.

B*tches Get Sh*t Done might not change your life, but it will nag you with positivity until your sh*t gets done.

B*tches Get Sh*t Done's daily inspiration comes in many different forms. But perhaps what's best about it is that it doesn't pretend to be some deep, profound revelation that will change your life. It's a friendly, positive reminder that the best way to get sh*t done is to, well, get sh*t done.

Here are a few of my favorites, courtesy of the BGSD Tumblr archive:

https://bgsd-archive.tumblr.com/post/110652616978/being-uncomfortable-is-a-reasonable-price-to-pay

https://bgsd-archive.tumblr.com/post/110735923974/stop-for-a-sec-find-a-mirror-tent-your-fingers

https://bgsd-archive.tumblr.com/post/109790123084/someone-somewhere-is-playing-eye-of-the-tiger

https://bgsd-archive.tumblr.com/post/113204411771/itll-go-better-tomorrow-bgsd

https://bgsd-archive.tumblr.com/post/125526503433/12-of-sharks-glow-not-sure-why-i-find-that

https://bgsd-archive.tumblr.com/post/126442172306/overwhelmed-1-thing-at-a-time-small-bites

https://bgsd-archive.tumblr.com/post/126350499906/bitches-get-shit-d-monday-fresh-start-clean

At the end of the day, it's still up you to make sh*t happen. Still, sometimes it helps to have a swift kick in the app.

(That app being Messages. See what I did there?)

To me, the best part about BGSD is the fact that there's no new age-y mantra about it. It's a refreshingly realistic approach that's obvious and yet so easy to forget: You get sh*t done by doing sh*t, so stop searching for shortcuts and just do the sh*t.

That's why it's nice to be reminded every now and then and to have someone else tell you that you're on the right path but that also maybe it would help if you went for a walk or wrote out your to-do list and actually stuck to it this time and made sure to really cross things off as you go and also don't forget that thing that you've been putting off but really need to do!

I could keep going, but what's the point? I got sh*t that needs doin'! (Like filing this story, for example.)

Kelly Sue being more effing metal than you. Photo by Pat Loika/Flickr (text added).

Humor

Comedian nails the differences in how each generation arrives at someone's home

"Millennials will arrive late, but they will text you to let you know they're on their way, just as they're about to get into the shower."

Boomers will knock. Loudly. At all hours.

There's no doubt that there are contrasts between the generations, as baby boomers, Gen X, millennials and Gen Z see and experience the world quite differently. While generation gaps have always existed, the tech age has widened those gaps in big ways, which sometimes creates challenges but often results in hilarity.

For instance, watching a Gen Zer try to figure out how to use a rotary phone is pure entertainment. The way emojis are used and interpreted varies vastly by age, making for some chuckle-worthy communication mishaps. Slang terms can be hard to keep up with the older you get, but they can also be manipulated by savvy elders to great comedic effect.

gen z slang, w rizz, generations, generation gap, generational differences Riz W Sign GIF Giphy

And now, comedian Jake Lambert is comparing how the different generations arrive at someone's house in a viral video that's been viewed more than 12 million times.

"You've basically got boomers who will turn up completely unannounced any time from about 7:00 in the morning and they will knock on your door just slightly louder than the police using a battering ram carrying out a house raid," Lambert begins.

"And then you've got Gen X. They would have made the plans well in advance, and they would've also checked in a couple of days before just to make sure the plans are definitely still happening," he goes on. "You see, Gen X is the forgotten generation and they're so scarred by this title they would've assumed that you'd forgotten not only about the plans but about their very existence."

"Millennials will have hoped that the plans would've been canceled. There's no reason that a millennial will ever actually want to come to your house," he continues. "They will arrive late, but they will text you to let you know they're on their way, just as they're about to get into the shower. And a millennial will never knock on your door. You'll just get a text either saying 'here' or 'outside,' and that's your cue to go and let them in."

"Similarly, Gen Z will never actually knock," he concludes. "But the chances are they won't have to, as they would have been documenting the entire journey from their house to yours, maybe even on Facetime using this angle [camera facing directly up at the chin] as they go along for some reason. Either that or they'll just send a picture of your front door or a selfie of them outside it. And again, just like the millennial, that's your cue to go and rescue them from the outside world."

gen z, selfie, generation gap, generational differences, generations Gen Z will send a selfie from outside your house as an indicator that they've arrived. Photo credit: Canva

People feel alternately seen, attacked and validated by Lambert's assessments, with the most common response being "accurate."

"I‘m a millennial, my husband GenX. Scarily accurate! 😂"

"Described this millennial to a T."

"This is surprisingly accurate 😂 I laughed slightly louder than the police using a battering ram…"

"Sooo accurate…guilty of the lateness and ‘here’ text 🙃"

"I must admit I'm a millennial. But knocking on the door feels so aggressive, uknow? 😅😇"

"Millennial texting to say almost there but just started getting dressed to go out. Why do we do this? It's not intentional, at least not for me."

millennial, ok boomer, generation gap, generational differences, generations Giphy

"Honestly your observations are just brilliant! GenX-er here!"

"The Gen Z angle omg. 😂😂"

Naturally there are some people who don't resonate with their generation's description, but there are exceptions to every rule and some people will never fit a stereotype. However, judging by the wave of affirmative responses, Lambert has nailed the generational generalities across the board—and done so in a way that allows us all to laugh at ourselves.

You can follow Jake Lambert on Instagram.

This article originally appeared last year.

Sometimes happiness is right at our fingertips.

Historically speaking, sex, drugs, and alcohol have been humanity’s go-to dopamine spiking refuges, a short-lived opportunity to feel pure, unadulterated pleasure, in spite of Mother Nature deciding it plays second fiddle to survival and procreation. However, we know these pleasure sources often aren’t as pure as they seem inherently, since they can lead to addiction.

And yet, judging from the truly wholesome answers to this Reddit question:

“What's the purest joy you've ever felt without intimacy, substances, or alcohol?”

…we are offered the reminder that maybe joy isn’t so elusive after all. And in fact, it comes to us, in the simplest of ways. Which can be a bit of a relief for those of us still convinced that happiness lies just on the other side of that goal post.

Below are some of our favorite answers. You’ll definitely notice a few major themes, but hopefully the biggest takeaway of all will be the reminder that in many ways, happiness is waiting to be felt by us. And maybe feeling a bit happier is only one hug, laugh, or sunset away. .

The wonders of nature

happiness, sex, drugs, alcohol, sober living, sobriety, psychology, psychology of happiness, ask reddit A person basking in nature. Photo credit: Canva

“Seeing the sea for the first time.”

“For me, it was watching a sunrise on a quiet morning—just the colors, the stillness, and knowing the world was waking up. Pure, simple joy.”

“When I first saw a desert, it was honestly depressing. But then night fell and I saw the bands of the milky way galaxy.”

“I had never seen fireflies in real life but got to see them when my daughter was five. I wish I had a picture of my daughter’s face when we had one flashing and crawling up my shirt…We got to experience it together for the first time. If my memory starts to fade I hope that one is last to go!”

“When I was 24…I had just gone through a lot of BS…and was dealing with severe abandonment issues. I was casually seeing a guy and a friend of ours was moving to Washington and needed a ride. So we offered. Very long story short, shit hit the fan. We ended up penniless with nowhere to go…and randomly stumbled on this alpaca homestead that also provided camping…we spent the next few weeks working for them during the day…I mainly worked on the lawn…weeding this plot of land in front of their big log cabin.Every day I worked on the land and just thought about all the things that used to torment me…I eventually became grateful for every single thing that happened in my life, I was grateful for the good and bad. I just felt complete peace and acceptance. I was content for the first time in my life.

Things started randomly coming together…Every single thing we needed was provided in the most insane ways…Before, it was impossible to be alone with my own thoughts. After…I knew that there was something bigger than me…I knew beyond any doubt that true gratefulness connected me with it…I don't think that would have happened if I wasn't so immersed in nature, either. It was like the physical and spiritual connected to allow me to find myself. I swear I'm not a hippy 😂 I just think that radical love for yourself and radical gratefulness leads to some very incredible places that you can't reach otherwise.”

“I was snorkeling alone in a bay off a small Greek island. Suddenly there was a huge shoal of sardines all around me. There must have been thousands of them. I kept taking huge breaths and swimming underwater amongst them for as long as I could hold my breath. It was incredible, like a dream. Almost as if I was flying with a flock of birds. I swam with them as long as I could until they headed for deeper water.”

Second chances

happiness, sex, drugs, alcohol, sober living, sobriety, psychology, psychology of happiness, ask reddit Two people hugging.Photo credit: Canva

“When my parents were on the verge of separation I was very sad for a whole week and I was just trying to process how our lives are going to change forever. One evening my mom, my sis and I were talking about this whole mess and at the exact moment my father opened the door and there was awkward silence because mom and dad weren't talking at all. Suddenly everyone laughed at the awkwardness of the situation and that's when it hit me that ‘this is probably the last time we are laughing as a family of 4…’While laughing I burst into tears because I felt pure joy and peace I was missing for the past week and that day I understood the value of having a loving family. Luckily my parents didn't separate and things are better now.”

“Riding a horse again after being wheelchair-bound for five months.”

Being able to afford all your needs…because money does buy some happiness

“Last night, I went to Target, bought only what I needed, came home to my one bedroom apartment, changed into comfy clothes, lit a candle, and opened the window to a complete downpouring thunderstorm…I sat on the couch, watched a romance movie, ate dinner, my cat crawled her way into my arms and just purred next to my ear while I held her. I vacuumed, folded my laundry, put it away. Brushed my teeth and got into bed, and realized that not only do I have my own apartment to myself, I could still smell the aroma of dinner around and it smelled like HOME. After all the years of shitty roommates and being broke and working two jobs, I make enough to afford my own apartment…and have enough time to spend time enjoying it. I almost cried for joy.”

“I was in an accident and got a decent settlement when I was younger…For a couple years I was able to buy everything I needed, a lot of stuff I wanted, and spend money on my friends. Genuinely those years were the happiest I’ve ever been.”

Residual joy from someone else’s win

“I’m a software developer. During COVID, a close friend of mine got laid off from his job at a catering company.…I offered for him to live with me and my family during the pandemic rent-free and teach him how to code.For the following year and a half, I worked closely with him every single weekday; helping him through tutorials, projects, bugs, frustration, and moments of exasperation…After living with us for a year and a half and applying to over 600 jobs in the last 6 months, he finally got an offer as a software engineer, not only paying more than he ever made at a restaurant, but also with full benefits so he could get dental work done…getting this job meant that he was essentially set for life…The day I came home after he got the offer, we just laughed and cried and bro-hugged forever. It was one of the proudest moments of my life and I’ll never forget that feeling of truly lifting someone else up in a way that affects the rest of their life. This month marks his 3rd year into his engineering career and he is still killing it.”

“Hearing my wife was cured of cancer. Those words will forever be engraved in my memory and associated with pure joy”

“Watching my little boy ring the bell last week after beating cancer ❤️”

Kindness from strangers…especially in times of struggles

happiness, sex, drugs, alcohol, sober living, sobriety, psychology, psychology of happiness, ask reddit Two kids enjoying a milkshake. Photo credit: Canva

“Me and my brother were dirt poor, but we saved up enough money for a McFlurry. We were at the McDonalds door counting up our coins to make sure we had enough. I went in, payed for the McFlurry with exact change, the person at the register saw my brother waiting outside by the door, she handed me two. It felt like Christmas.”

Being the recipient of unconditional love

“The day my niece, who had just learned to talk, saw me walk in the door and screamed my name before running up to hug me. Zero agenda, zero conditions.. just pure joy from someone happy I existed.”

“Being with someone I truly could be myself with. It lasted for only a few months, but I can't remember anything that comes close since.”

“I would have to say the private last dance at my wife and I’s wedding…We had a whole song just to ourselves and the emotions of the day overwhelmed me. I didn’t cry at the first look, but I cried then. I may have been a bit buzzed but the happiness I felt was profound.”

Earning the love of an animal

happiness, sex, drugs, alcohol, sober living, sobriety, psychology, psychology of happiness, ask reddit A sweet doggo. Photo credit: Canva

“The day my rescue dog laid her head on me to fall asleep after 2 years of work to help her”

“That feeling when a rescue finally trusts you is just unreal. My most recent cat hid under the bed for a few days and one night just randomly decided to come onto the bed and plop down right between my husband and I. I could've cried.”

“I had a rescue parrot…You could not look at him without him visibly trembling…And yet, I could see he wanted so badly to love and trust…I will never forget the first time I offered him my head, since he looked like he wanted to touch it, and he very roughly preened my hair…Once that particular threshold was crossed, he was the most love hungry member of our flock…You could not give him enough loving…I’ll always be grateful to have known and helped you, my dear Smudge.”

“I recently went back to Italy after being gone. The people that I thought would come to see me didn’t, and I was feeling a bit unwelcome. I went to my favorite bar/cafe/restaurant…After I sat down for about 5 minutes the bar’s cat was frantically meowing at me and trotting over to greet me. She remembered me :) I was so happy and the beginning of my stay was a lot better because I was feeling a bit alone and forgotten.”

Engaging the senses

“Fresh cool sheets on my bed with the windows open in the fall for a mid-day nap!”

“Playing live music. Being emotionally connected to a room full of people is an amazing feeling. And of course everyone likes being clapped at.”

And last, but certainly not least—seeing the world

happiness, sex, drugs, alcohol, sober living, sobriety, psychology, psychology of happiness, ask reddit Someone seeing the world. Photo credit: Canva

“Traveling. The pure excitement of being in a new country, taking everything in and seeing what kind of adventure unfolds. Especially true for my first solo trip 10 years ago when I had wanted to travel forever and finally did, despite people telling me not to.”

May we all find one simple thing to bring us pure joy just like this today.

Canva Photos

There is a three hour window of time when most dying people pass away.

Death is hard to think about and harder still to talk about. Some people get panic attacks just imagining the inevitable end of their life. It's an extremely uncomfortable and inescapable fact of living. For some people, learning as much as they can about what it's like and how it works is the one thing that brings them a little bit of comfort.

That's where Julie McFadden comes in. McFadden has been working as a hospice nurse for nine years. She has been educating people about the dying process on social media for almost as long, racking up millions of views with her gentle, reassuring, and highly informative FAQs.

In a recent video, Hospice Nurse Julie tackles a big, scary question: What time do people usually die? And can we actually predict someone's time of death?

"When is the most common time to die? I think you might be surprised what research says," she begins the video.

McFadden says even she was surprised when she started digging into the data and research. She noted that in her own work, she hasn't really seen a trend, but after poring through studies and speaking to colleagues throughout the hospice industry, she was taken aback to discover there was a clear answer to her question.

"Research and anecdotal evidence... it does show that most people die between 2 a.m. and 5 a.m.," she says. She explains that some professionals refer to this window as the "letting go hour."

Other studies and experts have a slightly different take, citing the most common time as 6 a.m.—8 a.m., or even peaking at 11 a.m. But the truth remains that there is a definitive pattern of a high percentage of people passing away in the wee hours of the morning or middle of the night.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"So, why does that happen? That's where my brain went. And to me, the reason why is the most fascinating part," she explains.

There are a few different factors, McFadden says, that explain such a narrow death window. The first relates to the normal cycle of our body's energy and alertness.

"Biologically, we have a circadian rhythm... And between the hours of two and five, that is when our body's energy level is the lowest. Our temperatures drop, our blood pressure drops, and our breathing slows."

She mentions that those late night/early morning hours are also typically very quiet, without a lot of interruption and stimulation that might unwittingly keep a patient engaged with the outside world. "There's less people kind of trying to hold you there."

The dying person's personality also plays a role. McFadden says she sees over and over that some patients will wait until the entire family arrives before they "let go," while others will wait until things are quiet and they're alone. More outgoing people may wait to be surrounded before they pass, while introverts may prefer to pass in solitude. For the folks who prefer peace and quiet, those nighttime hours make a lot of sense.

death, dying, death doula, hospice, hospice nurse, mortality, aging, seniors, love, family, fear, afterlife Learning about death is uncomfortable, but it helps us in the long run. Photo by Sijmen van Hooff on Unsplash

McFadden then shared a pretty wild story of a patient of hers who "chose" when to die. Viewers then chimed in with their own.

Most people who have lost a loved one absolutely insist that dying people are aware of, and have some level of control over, when they decide to let go. You should watch McFadden's video to hear her best story, but the comments were full of even more.

"My good friend Donna was dying in hospice from a brain tumor and a week before she passed things looked pretty grave so she wasn't expected to last another 2 days. Her sister was by her side and said it's okay you can go but she opened her eyes and said no I'm not going yet I'm waiting for my birthday, I'm dying on my birthday. Her birthday was a week away and no one thought she would make it but she did. Her sister whispered in her ear 'today is your Birthday Sis you made it' and then she passed within the hour," one user shared.

"My grandmother was actively dying for two weeks and held on until the wee hours of the first of the month. She was concerned about getting her social security check to help the family," said another.

"About a week before my 93 year old mom died, she adamently said a few times to me and others she was leaving the following Tuesday. At first I thought she meant she's going out... That Tuesday comes and it was clear she was probably not going to make it to end of the week. I was aware of her comments from the week before but didn't think it would happen that day. She died at 11:12 pm that night, on the day she said she was leaving. She knew."

"While not quite the same thing as 'predicted,' my mother said 'they' told her when she was going to pass away -- to the minute. 'They' being the people visiting her and promising to help her during her visioning experiences. She said they had shown her where she was going to go. She died at exactly the time her visioning-visitors had told her."

The stories shared by the hundreds in the comments to McFadden's video are heart-wrenching, but ultimately extremely hopeful.

@hospicenursejulie

Replying to @skinnysketch19 the transitioning phase #hospicenursejulie #caregiversoftiktok #dementia #education #medicaltok #learnontiktok #science #STEM

McFadden doesn't want her viewers who may have a loved one who's dying to be more anxious and nervous during the night, worrying and potentially losing sleep.

"People are going to do it when they do it. Their body is going to let go when the body is ready to let go. All you can do is be there for your loved one the best you can."

She reiterates that, even for someone like her who has seen and helped many patients cross over from this world to the next, that death is a mystery. As much as we can continue to learn and understand new aspects of it, we'll never fully know what it's like until we experience it ourselves.

This article originally appeared in June.

Flight attendants have stories for days.

In some ways, airplanes are a great equalizer. People from all economic brackets, political persuasions, cultures, and walks of life fly on planes occasionally, so every flight is like a mixed bag of humanity.

Flight attendants see it all and have to interact with the vast array of people in all their quirks on a daily basis. Their job requires providing friendly customer service and also keeping passengers safe, which isn't always easy. Naturally, most flight attendants have stories for days, but we're not always privy to them.

flight attendant, flying, airplane, airlines, air travel Flight attendants have to interact with all kinds of people every day.Photo credit: Canva

A flight attendant named Savannah is giving us an inside look at the weird, funny, and surprising interactions she has with passengers, and it is a hoot. Savannah works for Delta, and her "Life of a Flight Attendant" videos have become viral favorites. It all started with a TikTok video where she launched right in with a handful of brief anecdotes:

"A guy in first class asked if he could smoke a cigarette, and when I said no, he said, 'But I'm in first class.'"

"One lady asked why there was orange juice in her mimosa."

"When we landed it was still dark outside, and one guy literally asked me if our flight took that long cuz it was nighttime again. Mind you, we left at 5:00 a.m. for an hour flight."

@savannah0191

Replying to @Terry she did in fact choose to fly to atlanta :)

"I had to inform one lady that we weren't the only airline that allowed babies when there was a baby crying—mind you, for like 15 seconds—and she said she was never flying Delta again. Because of the crying baby."

"The lady's husband asked why there wasn't a dinner on a 45-minute flight. At 8:00 a.m."

Savannah shared that she's had multiple passengers walk into the bathroom barefoot or in socks. One little boy asked if she was related to Tarzan. One lady dropped her back on Savannah's foot and told her to "Take care of it." She's had people tell her to ask the pilots to turn off the engines because they are too loud.

And that's just Part 1. Savannah has made 15 of these so far and she's gathering more stories by the day.

@savannah0191

Replying to @Terry she did in fact choose to fly to atlanta :)

Here's one fan favorite from Part 15:

"We board in Minneapolis and this lady comes on, she's like, 'I can't find my seat,' and I said, 'Can I see your boarding pass?' She was like, 'Well, I'm at G18.'

I said, 'Ma'am, there's no G on this plane. It's ABC DEF.' And she was like, 'Yeah, but my boarding pass says G18.' And I said, "Oh, that's the gate. We're parked at G18. Can I see your boarding pass? I'll let you know what seat you're in.'

She was like, 'I want to sit at G18.'

'Well, that's inside the airport, up the jetbridge. Um, can I see your boarding pass, and I can just, um, let you know your seat number?'

'Well, I want to sit at G18 and I'm not sitting anywhere else.'

airport, airlines, airplane, flight gate, flight attendant G18 is a gate, not a seat, ma'am. Photo credit: Canva

'I'm gonna propose a solution. You can go sit at G18 in the airport or you can hand me your boarding pass and I can show you your assigned seat and you can go to Atlanta. So, I'm gonna leave it up to you—it's your call—n=but there isn't a G18 on this plane. I'm very sorry. If you do want to sit at G18, it is in the airport, okay?'"

Can you imagine having conversations like this on a daily basis?

Some of Savannah's stories are just delightful, such as the kid who tried to convince her to give him gummy bears while his mom slept beside him or the elderly man who recognized her from TikTok and pulled up her account to show her her own face.

@savannah0191

guaranteed that mom heard our whole conversation 🥲😅

Part of what people love about Savannah's storytelling is that she has great timing and facial expressions. But she also seems like a genuinely sweet person who is perfectly suited to her job, which is always lovely to see. You can't interact with humans all day without a sense of humor. You also can't do it without actually liking people in general. Based on Savanna's viral video from 2021 in which she explains what she thinks about passengers based on what they're wearing, she really is well suited to interact with people all day:

@savannah0191

welcome onboard 🥰🥰 #flightattendantlife #greenscreen

You can follow Savannah on TikTok for more.


Family

Shocking new poll shows just how incredibly sheltered kids are these days

Seventy-one percent of 8 to 12-year-olds have never held a sharp knife.

A young boy staring at out the window.

If you compare parenting in 2025 to what it was in the ‘70s or ‘80s, there are some glaring differences. The first is that back in the day, kids were allowed to explore more on their own. It was common to see seven- or eight-year-olds walk home from school alone, and some were latchkey kids who came home to an empty house until their parents got home.

However, there has been a significant cultural shift, where the family has become increasingly centered around children, and parents are more concerned than ever about their kids’ safety. Even though the overall crime rate in America is much less than it was forty years ago. The effects of these changes are apparent in a shocking new Harris Poll about eight to twelve-year-old American children.

sad child, sheltered child, girl at window, depression, helicopter parent, stuck inside A young boy staring at out the window.via Canva/Photos

How sheltered are 8 to 12-year-olds?

45% have not walked in a different aisle than their parents at a store

56% have not talked with a neighbor without their parents

61% have not made plans with friends without adults helping them

62% have not walked/biked somewhere (a store, park, school) without an adult

63% have not built a structure outside (for example, a fort or treehouse)

67% have not done work that they’ve been paid for (e.g., mowing lawns, shoveling snow, babysitting)

71% have not used a sharp knife

The problem with raising sheltered kids

The poll results are alarming because children raised without freedom and real-life experiences are likely to have a tough life as adults. Sheltered children become adults who have a hard time making decisions, connecting with other people, and overcoming challenges. Sheltered children also grow up lacking individuality and confidence. It seems that the intense need to protect children winds up making them terrified as adults.

dorm room, college girls, girls studying, college life, bedroom, College girls in a dorm room.via Canva/Photos

How to raise children who aren’t sheltered

Jonathan Haidt, social psychologist and author of The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness, says one way to raise confident, independent children is to give them jobs outside of the house. "Practice letting your kids out of your sight without them having a way to reach you. While you cook dinner for your friends, send your kids out with theirs to the grocery store to pick up more garlic—even if you don't need it,” he told NPR.

Haidt believes that when children are seen walking to the store to get milk, it transforms them, as well as the community. “The brilliant part of this challenge is that it changes the norms. Before you know it, it's normal to see an eight-year-old carrying a quart of milk. It's normal to see a nine-year-old on a bicycle—that's how you change the norms,” Haidt continues.

kid shopping, independant kid, boy, boy with pineapple, boy in grocery store A young boy shopping at a grocery store.via Canva/Photos

He also suggests that parents should print out kids' licenses, similar to the ones available here, so they can demonstrate their independence if questioned by adults.

Raising kids who are resilient, capable, and emotionally mature begins when parents loosen their grip and allow them more freedom and trust. For many, this may run counter to their instincts, but it's necessary to raise well-rounded kids. Furthermore, in a world where many children are sheltered, those with a greater sense of individuality and confidence will have a distinct advantage when they enter the hyper-competitive adult world. In the end, well-adjusted competent adults are built not by shleting kids, but by setting them free.

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