Identity
Celebrate International Women's Day with these stunning photos of female leaders changing the world
The portraits, taken by acclaimed photographer Nigel Barker, are part of CARE's "She Leads the World" campaign.
03.07.24
Images provided by CARE
True
Women are breaking down barriers every day. They are transforming the world into a more equitable place with every scientific discovery, athletic feat, social justice reform, artistic endeavor, leadership role, and community outreach project.
And while these breakthroughs are happening all the time, International Women’s Day (Mar 8) is when we can all take time to acknowledge the collective progress, and celebrate how “She Leads the World.”
This year, CARE, a leading global humanitarian organization dedicated to empowering women and girls, is celebrating International Women’s Day through the power of portraiture. CARE partnered with high-profile photographer Nigel Barker, best known for his work on “America’s Next Top Model,” to capture breathtaking images of seven remarkable women who have prevailed over countless obstacles to become leaders within their communities.
“Mabinty, Isatu, Adama, and Kadiatu represent so many women around the world overcoming incredible obstacles to lead their communities,” said Michelle Nunn, President and CEO of CARE USA.
Barker’s bold portraits, as part of CARE’s “She Leads The World” campaign, not only elevate each woman’s story, but also shine a spotlight on how CARE programs helped them get to where they are today.
About the women:
Mabinty
Mabinty is a businesswoman and a member of a CARE savings circle along with a group of other women. She buys and sells groundnuts, rice, and fuel. She and her husband have created such a successful enterprise that Mabinty volunteers her time as a teacher in the local school. She was the first woman to teach there, prompting a second woman to do so. Her fellow teachers and students look up to Mabinty as the leader and educator she is.
Kadiatu
Kadiatu supports herself through a small business selling food. She also volunteers at a health clinic in the neighboring village where she is a nursing student. She tests for malaria, works with infants, and joins her fellow staff in dancing and singing with the women who visit the clinic. She aspires to become a full-time nurse so she can treat and cure people. Today, she leads by example and with ambition.
Isatu
When Isatu was three months pregnant, her husband left her, seeking his fortune in the gold mines. Now Isatu makes her own way, buying and selling food to support her four children. It is a struggle, but Isatu is determined to be a part of her community and a provider for her kids. A single mother of four is nothing if not a leader.
Zainab
Zainab is the Nurse in Charge at the Maternal Child Health Outpost in her community. She is the only nurse in the surrounding area, and so she is responsible for the pre-natal health of the community’s mothers-to-be and for the safe delivery of their babies. In a country with one of the world’s worst maternal death rates, Zainab has not lost a single mother. The community rallies around Zainab and the work she does. She describes the women who visit the clinic as sisters. That feeling is clearly mutual.
Adama
Adama is something few women are - a kehkeh driver. A kehkeh is a three-wheeled motorcycle taxi, known elsewhere as a tuktuk. Working in the Kissy neighborhood of Freetown, Adama is the primary breadwinner for her family, including her son. She keeps her riders safe in other ways, too, by selling condoms. With HIV threatening to increase its spread, this is a vital service to the community.
Ya Yaebo
“Ya” is a term of respect for older, accomplished women. Ya Yaebo has earned that title as head of her local farmers group. But there is much more than that. She started as a Village Savings and Loan Association member and began putting money into her business. There is the groundnut farm, her team buys and sells rice, and own their own oil processing machine. They even supply seeds to the Ministry of Agriculture. She has used her success to the benefit of people in need in her community and is a vocal advocate for educating girls, not having gone beyond grade seven herself.
On Monday, March 4, CARE will host an exhibition of photography in New York City featuring these portraits, kicking off the multi-day “She Leads the World Campaign.
Learn more, view the portraits, and join CARE’s International Women's Day "She Leads the World" celebration at CARE.org/sheleads.
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Health
Over or under? Surprisingly, there actually is a 'correct' way to hang a toilet paper roll.
Let's settle this silly-but-surprisingly-heated debate once and for all.
03.13.24
Elya/Wikimedia Commons
Humans have debated things large and small over the millennia, from the democracy to breastfeeding in public to how often people ought to wash their sheets.
But perhaps the most silly-yet-surprisingly-heated household debate is the one in which we argue over which way to hang the toilet paper roll.
The "over or under" question has plagued marriages and casual acquaintances alike for over 100 years, with both sides convinced they have the soundest reasoning for putting their toilet paper loose end out or loose end under. Some people feel so strongly about right vs. wrong TP hanging that they will even flip the roll over when they go to the bathroom in the homes of strangers.
Contrary to popular belief, it's not merely an inconsequential preference. There is actually a "correct" way to hang toilet paper, according to health experts as well as the man who invented the toilet paper roll in the first place.
First, let's be clear about what we're even talking about here with a visual. In the image below, left is "over" and right is "under."
Toilet paper hung "over" (left) and "under" (right)
Elya/Wikimedia Commons
So which one is the right way? According to health experts, "over" is the way to go.
"One key to maintaining a hygienic washroom is minimising contact between people and surfaces," Dr. Christian Moro, associate professor of health sciences and medicine at Bond University on Australia's Gold Coast, told Australian Broadcasting Corporation. "Depending on the type of roll holder, [hanging the toilet paper "over"] often lowers the chance that a user will touch the wall behind when fishing for paper, leaving germs behind on that surface which can be spread to the next user."
Picture it: Grabbing the end of the toilet paper when it's hung "over" means you only touch the part of the toilet paper you're going to use. When it's "under," you sometimes have to fish for it or scrape your fingers on the wall in order to grab the loose end. In addition to whatever might be on people's hands already, think about all the people who wipe twice, potentially transferring fresh fecal matter or other bacteria to the wall on the second pass, which then get picked up by other people who inadvertently touch that wall when trying to grab their TP.
Theoretically, we all should have become better hand washers during the pandemic, scrubbing with soap for the full 20 seconds it takes to remove bacteria. But I wouldn't be willing to bet on it.
And touching any surface in a bathroom is pretty nasty, according to a study from the University of Colorado. As Inc. reported: "Using a high-tech genetic sequencing tool, researchers identified 19 groups of bacteria on the doors, floors, faucet handles, soap dispensers, and toilets of 12 public restrooms in Colorado — six men’s restrooms and six women’s restrooms. Many of the bacteria strains identified could be transmitted by touching contaminated surfaces."
Bacteria means things like e.coli, which is a common source of food poisoning and one of the most common bacteria found on bathroom surfaces in the study. If you've ever had a bout of food poisoning, I'm sure you'll agree that a toilet paper roll hanging preference isn't worth risking it.
But sanitary health concerns aren't the only argument for the "over" camp. After all, the original patent for the toilet paper roll, issued in 1891, clearly shows the TP in the "over" position. Thank you for the clarity right from the get go, Mr. Wheeler.
The toilet paper roll was patented by Seth Wheeler in 1891.
Now, before the "under" folks come running with their pitchforks, there are some understandable exceptions to the "over" rule. Namely: cats and kids.
If you have a furry friend or a tiny toddler who likes to unroll the toilet paper roll, "over" makes it super fun for them, while "under" stops them in their tracks. For many people, cats and kids are the primary motivator of their TP hanging habits.
That doesn't change the fact that "over" is actually the "correct" way to hang toilet paper according to health science and the inventor's intention, of course, but "under" is certainly preferable to having a pile of TP on the floor.
Now go forth, do that with information as you will, and try to make peace with your over vs. under rivals.
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Family
60 models. 12 sizes. One photo project to change how we view the human body.
What's size got to do with it?
03.15.24
Categories are great for some things: biology, herbs, and spices, for example.
Image via
But bodies? Well, putting bodies into categories just gets weird. There are around 300 million people in America, but only 12 or so standard sizes for clothing: extra-extra-small through 5x.
That's why designer Mallorie Dunn is onto something with her belief — people have different bodies and sizing isn't catching up.
Dunn has found that the majority of clothing sizes stop at an extra-large, yet the majority of women in America are over that. "And that just doesn't make sense," she says.
All images via Smart Glamor, used with permission.
Human spice rack, only, a LOT more variations of flava. ;)
That's why she started a project around her clothing label, Smart Glamour, to document the bodies of models according to their sizes — and to show how one size can look very different on different bodies.
In pursuit of creating a fashion environment that's kinder to all bodies, Dunn has dedicated herself to educating consumers about sizing.
First, she found 60 people of 12 different sizes and took their pictures.
Then, she put five women at a time in the same size of skirt and shirt to show how diversely beautiful human bodies are and to prove that everyone looks different in clothes no matter what size they have on.
She hoped to show people that 12 sizes don't even come close to capturing the beauty of the human form.
All these models are wearing the same size ... but do they look the same?
"No matter what size you are that's not what dictates your worth or your beauty."
"I had a convo with a friend of mine who was like 'Yeah, if I went from a medium to a large, I'd be fine with it, but if I went from a large to an extra-large, that wouldn't be OK' and I was like, 'Why???' And she had no rational reason behind that," Dunn said, describing a conversation we've all either had, started, or heard. "We've been taught forever that the bigger something sounds, the worse that it is."
Dunn's project also shows just how arbitrary and narrow-minded clothing sizes are.
Sizes really are just numbers.
Unlike the images we are presented both in clothing ads and in entertainment and media, human beings aren't, as Dunn remarked, "robots who come out on a conveyor belt ... we're all shaped differently."
The pressure to look one way is obnoxious. And kinda dangerous.
"We've been taught forever that the bigger something sounds, the worse that it is."
There's so much weight — no pun intended — on being the "right" size.
"You put an 'extra' on top of a 'large,' and suddenly it's the end of the world," Dunn said of her experience in fashion sizing. "... And it really doesn't mean anything, it really only means that there's an extra inch of fabric."
One extra inch of fabric.
3 in 4 girls report feeling depressed, guilty, or shameful after just three minutes of leafing through a fashion mag.
But I'd like to imagine a world where everyone can try on clothes and leave the emotional burden of worrying about fit to the clothes.
Instead, let's focus on what looks good on our bodies. Let the clothes handle the emotional roller coaster of not fitting, and you just live your life in the body you've been given.
Dunn, who has worked for fashion houses for her whole career, puts it bluntly: "Clothes are not made for all bodies. ... We shouldn't then think when something doesn't fit us that it's somehow our fault."
Dunn's models also have a group on Facebook where they support each other, compliment each other, and generally lift each other up. Model Stephanie describes it this way: "We see the beauty in one another and help each other to recognize our own beauty at the same time." Fashion leading to body optimism and confidence? Yes, please.
And Dunn herself drives a hard line when it comes to feeling good in the skin you've been given. Her philosophy is this: No matter what size you are, that's not what dictates your worth or your beauty.
Self-worth not based on appearances. That's a category we can all aspire to "fit" into!
This article originally appeared on 07.27.16
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Health
Psychologist explains why everyone feels exhausted right now and it makes so much sense
Psychologist Naomi Holdt beautifully explained what's behind the overarching exhaustion people are feeling and it makes perfect sense.
03.14.24
Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash
We're about to wrap up year three of the COVID-19 pandemic, and it's been a weird ride, to say the least. These years have been hard, frustrating, confusing and tragic, and yet we keep on keeping on.
Except the keeping on part isn't quite as simple as it sounds. Despite the fact that COVID-19 is still wreaking havoc, we've sort of collectively decided to move on, come what may. This year has been an experiment in normalcy, but one without a testable hypothesis or clear design. And it's taken a toll. So many people are feeling tired, exhausted, worn thin ("like butter scraped over too much bread," as Bilbo Baggins put it) these days.
But why?
Psychologist and speaker Naomi Holdt beautifully explained what's behind the overarching exhaustion people are feeling as we close out 2022, and it makes perfect sense.
In a post on Facebook, she wrote:
"A gentle reminder about why you are utterly exhausted…
No one I know began this year on a full tank. Given the vicious onslaught of the previous two years (let’s just call it what it was) most of us dragged ourselves across the finish line of 2021… frazzled, spent, running on aged adrenaline fumes…
We crawled into 2022 still carrying shock, trauma, grief, heaviness, disbelief… The memories of a surreal existence…
And then it began… The fastest hurricane year we could ever have imagined. Whether we have consciously processed it or not, this has been a year of more pressure, more stress, and a race to 'catch up' in all departments… Every. Single. One. Work, school, sports, relationships, life…
Though not intentionally aware, perhaps hopeful that the busier we are, the more readily we will forget… the more easily we will undo the emotional tangle… the more permanently we will wipe away the scarring wounds…
We can’t.
And attempts to re-create some semblance of 'normal' on steroids while disregarding that for almost two years our sympathetic nervous systems were on full alert, has left our collective mental health in tatters. Our children and teens are not exempt. The natural byproduct of fighting a hurricane is complete and utter exhaustion…
So before you begin questioning the absolutely depleted and wrung-dry state you are in- Pause. Breathe. Remind yourself of who you are and what you have endured. And then remind yourself of what you have overcome.
Despite it all, you’re still going. (Even on the days you stumble and find yourself face down in a pile of dirt).
Understanding brings compassion… Most of the world’s citizens are in need of a little extra TLC at the moment. Most are donning invisible 'Handle with care' posters around their necks and 'Fragile' tattoos on their bodies…
Instead of racing to the finish line of this year, tread gently.
Go slowly. Amidst the chaos, find small pockets of silence. Find compassion. Allow the healing. And most of all… Be kind. There’s no human being on earth who couldn’t use just a little bit more of the healing salve of kindness."
Putting it like that, of course we're exhausted. We're like a person who thinks they're feeling better at the end of an illness so they dive fully back into life, only to crash mid-day because their body didn't actually have as much energy as their brain thought it did. We tried to fling ourselves into life, desperate to feel normal and make up for lost time, without taking the time to fully acknowledge the impact of the past two years or to fully recover and heal from it.
Of course, life can't just stop, but we do need to allow some time for our bodies, minds and spirits to heal from what they've been through. The uncertainty, the precariousness of "normal," the after-effects of everything that upended life as we knew it are real. The grief and trauma of those who have experienced the worst of the pandemic are real. The overwhelm of our brains and hearts as we try to process it all is real.
So let's be gentle with one another and ourselves as we roll our harried selves into another new year. We could all use that little extra measure of grace as we strive to figure out what a true and healthy "normal" feels like.
You can follow Naomi Holdt on Facebook.
This article originally appeared on 12.23.22
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Health
30 things people don't realize you're doing because of your depression
Do any of these speak to you?
03.15.24
Most people imagine depression equals “really sad," and unless you've experienced depression yourself, you might not know it goes so much deeper than that. Depression expresses itself in many different ways, some more obvious than others. While some people have a hard time getting out of bed, others might get to work just fine — it's different for everyone.
To find out how depression shows itself in ways other people can't see, we asked The Mighty mental health community to share one thing people don't realize they're doing because they have depression.
Here's what they had to say:
1. “In social situations, some people don't realize I withdraw or don't speak much because of depression. Instead, they think I'm being rude or purposefully antisocial." — Laura B.
2. “I struggle to get out of bed, sometimes for hours. Then just the thought of taking a shower is exhausting. If I manage to do that, I am ready for a nap. People don't understand, but anxiety and depression is exhausting, much like an actual physical fight with a professional boxer." — Juli J.
3. “Agreeing to social plans but canceling last minute. Using an excuse but really you just chickened out. It makes you think your friends don't actually want to see you, they just feel bad. Obligation." — Brynne L.
4. “Hiding in my phone. Yes, I am addicted to it, but not like other people. I don't socialize, I play games or browse online stores to distract myself from my negative thoughts. It's my safe bubble." — Eveline L.
5. “Going to bed at 9 p.m. and sleeping throughout the night until 10 or 11 a.m." — Karissa D.
6. “Isolating myself, not living up to my potential at work due to lack of interest in anything, making self-deprecating jokes. I've said many times before, 'I laugh, so that I don't cry.' Unfortunately, it's all too true." — Kelly K.
man sitting on chair covering his eyesPhoto by christopher lemercier on Unsplash
7. “When I reach out when I'm depressed it's 'cause I am wanting to have someone to tell me I'm not alone. Not because I want attention." — Tina B.
8. “I don't like talking on the phone. I prefer to text. Less pressure there. Also being anti-social. Not because I don't like being around people, but because I'm pretty sure everyone can't stand me." — Meghan B.
9. “I overcompensate in my work environment… and I work front line at a Fitness Centre, so I feel the need to portray an 'extra happy, bubbly personality.' As soon as I walk out the doors at the end of the day, I feel myself 'fall.' It's exhausting… I am a professional at hiding it." — Lynda H.
10. “The excessive drinking. Most people assume I'm trying to be the 'life of the party' or just like drinking in general. I often get praised for it. But my issues are much deeper than that." — Teresa A.
11. “Hiding out in my room for hours at a time watching Netflix or Hulu to distract my mind or taking frequent trips to the bathroom or into another room at social gatherings because social situations sometimes get to me." — Kelci F.
12. “Saying I'm tired or don't feel good… they don't realize how much depression can affect you physically as well as emotionally." — Lauren G.
more at instagram @joshrh19
Photo by Joshua Rawson-Harris on Unsplash
13. “Answering slowly. It makes my brain run slower, and I can't think of the answers to the questions as quickly. Especially when someone is asking what I want to do — I don't really want anything. I isolate myself so I don't have to be forced into a situation where I have to respond because it's exhausting." — Erin W.
14. “Sometimes I'll forget to eat all day. I can feel my stomach growling but don't have the willpower to get up and make something to eat." — Kenzi I.
15. “I don't talk much in large groups of people, especially when I first meet them. I withdraw because of my anxiety and depression. People think I'm 'stuck up.' I'm actually scared out of my mind worrying they don't like me, or that they think I'm 'crazy' by just looking at me…" — Hanni W.
16. “Not keeping in touch with anyone, bad personal hygiene and extremely bad reactions to seemingly trivial things." — Jenny B.
17. “Being angry, mean or rude to people I love without realizing it in the moment. I realize my actions and words later and feel awful I had taken out my anger on people who don't deserve it." — Christie C.
18. “Purposely working on the holidays so I can avoid spending time with family. It's overwhelming to be around them and to talk about the future and life so I avoid it." — Aislinn G.
19. “My house is a huge mess." — Cynthia H.
20. “I volunteer for everything, from going to PTO meetings to babysitting to cleaning someone else's house for them. I surround myself with situations and obligations that force me to get out of bed and get out of the house because if I'm not needed, I won't be wanted." — Carleigh W.
This story was originally published on The Mighty and originally appeared here on 07.21.17
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Family
People are sharing the marriage advice that 'sounded absurd' but is actually really helpful
Here are 19 of the best responses.
03.15.24
via Pexels
The best advice isn’t always obvious, or else we would have thought of it ourselves. It often comes out of left field and can be counterintuitive. When it comes to marriage, the best advice tends to be centered around keeping a focus on the long game.
One of the best pieces of marriage advice I ever received was, “Buy her a bottle of shampoo from time to time without her asking.” Now, that doesn’t mean to get shampoo specifically, but just pick up something here and there to show you care and are thinking about her.
Marriage, if done right, is forever, so that often means taking a loss in the short-term to enjoy the long-term benefits of a happy life with someone. This is great as a concept but in practice can be pretty darn hard, day in and day out.
Hence why about 50% of American marriages end in divorce.
Reddit user thecountnotthesaint put out a call to the AskMen forum for some of the best marriage advice that “sounded absurd” but was actually helpful.
The question was inspired by some advice the Reddit user had received from their father, who claimed that a king-sized bed is the key to a happy marriage. "I'll be damned if that wasn't one of the best decisions we made aside from getting married and having kids," they wrote.
A lot of the advice was about being careful not to escalate small disagreements into larger arguments that could turn personal and ugly. A lot of people think that to have a successful marriage means being able to compromise and to let things go quickly.
Here are some of the best responses to the question, “What random marriage advice sounded absurd but was actually spot on helpful?”
1.
"Dad said 'Be kind even if you’re not feeling it. Maybe especially if you’re not feeling it.'” — semantician
2.
"At my wedding, my wife's Grandmother offered so funny, weird, solid advice. She said, 'If you get angry with each other, go to bed naked and see if you can resolve it before you go to sleep.' So far, so good. Anniversary on Monday!" — drizzyjdracco
3.
"The advice I’ve given people is this: if you can go grocery shopping with your person and have the best time ever, you have yourself a keeper. It’s all about making the best of the mundane things, because after years of being together, life becomes predictable. You’ll need to keep the spice going, regardless of what you’re doing. Source: married 15 years." — LemonFizzy0000
4.
"My grandfather told me 'Never go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink.' What I learned is that he would always help my grandma and that is when they did their most talking." — t480
5.
"When our kid was about to be born, someone told me to change the first diaper. If you can handle the first one, the others will be easy.' So I did. I didn't know what I was doing, so I asked the nurse at the hospital to teach me, and I changed the first several few diapers while my wife recovered from a difficult labor. The advice was correct, no other diaper was as disgusting as the first one. It got very easy and I never minded doing it, and my wife was really really grateful. And I loved that I could take on some of the parenting chores, since there was so much that she was the only one... equipped to provide." — wordserious
6.
"Focus on tackling the problem, not each other." — bobbobbobbobbob123
7.
"Don’t have too high of expectations. My dad told us that, but we found most of our early fights were when one or the other had unspoken expectations of the other or marriage. It is positively life changing to be married, and an amazing experience, but still life goes on."— nopants_ranchdance
8.
"Marry him for who he is. Not his potential." — There-is-No-beyond
9.
"My stepmom just passed away, and dad said something that has profoundly changed my attitude: 'The little things that annoyed me are the things I now miss.' So, like, yea for some reason she squeezes a massive glob of toothpaste which mostly falls into the sink basin and she doesn't wash away the toothpaste spit. If/when she's gone, that little constant annoyance that reminds me she's there will be gone too. Don't nag on the little things, rather, embrace them. (still, let her know she has made progress on other things I've pointed out, as I try to adapt to her wishes)." — drewkungfu
10.
"Say thank you for day to day things, even taking out the trash, sweeping the floor, or folding laundry. Audibly hearing thank you reinforces the feeling of being appreciated." — BVolatte
11.
"Randomly give your partner a cold beverage on a hot day. It's the little things that show you care." — Purple12Inchruler
12.
"You don't just marry her, you marry her whole damn family." — crazypersn
13.
"One of my colonels told me: 'Just buy two damn pizzas, instead of arguing over the toppings.'"— MgoBlue702
14.
"Be honest. Don't lie to your partner." — Mikeydeeluxe
15.
"Don’t marry a woman whose dad calls her 'princess,' because she probably believes it. Much to his regret, my brother ignored this advice from our dad." — Toadie9622
16.
"My fiance always says that 'just because' flowers are the best kind of flowers." — agaribay1010
17.
"My Gramps who was married for over 50 yrs said: 'tell her you love her every single day.' Kind of obvious, but I definitely took it to heart." — sorellk
18.
"Love isn’t about having 'nice feelings for each other.' It’s about acting for the betterment of someone else, even if you don’t feel like it. Emotions will change. Your willingness to treat your spouse a certain way doesn’t have to." — sirplaind
19.
"Bill Maher said "The three most important words in a relationship aren't 'I love you', they're 'let it go.' Oddly, this has proven to be some of the best relationship advice I've ever heard." — KrssCom
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Family
Video of husband realizing his wife's stocking went unfilled for 10 years has moms talking
What was meant as a joke felt all too real to moms responsible for creating holiday magic.
03.15.24
@whataboutaub/TikTok
Back in 2021, wife and mom Aubree Jones posted a video to her TikTok that she thought would provide a relatable chuckle among other moms.
Instead, other moms found it heartbreaking.
In the clip, titled “PSA for husbands everywhere,” Aubree’s husband, Josh, is filming their family unwrapping presents on Christmas morning. He goes around to each of the family members’ stockings, until he comes upon an empty one.
“Whose is this?” Josh asks. “Is this an extra one?”
Aubree answers, “No, that’s mine,” with a smile.
Josh then asks why the stocking is empty, to which Aubree quips, “I don’t know. Santa didn’t come for me.”
“It took him 10 years to notice it’s been empty this whole time,” Aubree captioned, adding “your wife’s stocking is your responsibility."
Considering Aubree meant for the video to be a “lighthearted thing to show what moms go through," as she told TODAY.com, she was totally taken aback by the visceral, negative reactions to it.
Many noted it wasn’t just Josh’s act of forgetting to fill his wife’s stocking that was hurtful, but then simply laughing it off after realizing the neglect.
“She laughs. But I knew inside it hurt,”the top comment read.
Another person wrote, “all of us women felt that in our stomach. It hurt.”
@whataboutaub It took him 10 years to notice it’s been empty this whole time. @Josh Jones #marriedlife #marriage #husbandsoftiktok #fail #ohno #christmas #psa #pregnant ♬ Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree - Brenda Lee
Here are a few more:
“I got a bit teary.. you can tell there is some pain behind the ‘that’s mine.’”
"The little girl in her felt so left out."
“Not just the lack of gifts. The lack of thought…”
“Believe me, she wanted to cry, not laugh.”
"This is a good example that mom does all the stuff and nobody notices."
"I would’ve been divorced.
"This literally broke my heart."
Though Aubree assured TODAY.com that her marriage dynamic was nowhere near as unhealthy as the video made it seem (she even went so far so to send a follow-up video showing how he actually did give her thoughtful Christmas gifts) her video highlighted a sad reality many moms face during the holidays.
When creating all the magic of the season—the decor, the gifts, the foods, the social plans, the outfits for the Christmas card, coming up with bigger and better Elf on the Shelf position etc., etc, etc., etc., etc., all the etc. 's—fall solely on their shoulders, many moms are robbed of the chance to actually enjoy it themselves.
So much has improved in terms of marriage equality, but it would be naive to think that there aren’t still ways that moms are often expected to pull off herculean feats in order for their families to enjoy the fruits of their labor, all the while juggling multiple other responsibilities, and still not fully being seen.
If moms are moving heaven and earth to make sure their families feel loved this holiday season, let’s make sure we are doing the same for them. The way everyone gets some Christmas joy.
This article originally appeared on 12.21.23
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