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Viral arguments over grandmothers and Mother's Day may have a simple solution

"I don't want to run around to make grandmas happy that day."

mother's day; mother's day argument; grandmother's on mother's day; grandmothers; mother's day debate
Photo credit: Canva

Viral argument over Mother's Day may have simple solution.

In the weeks leading up to Mother's Day, there have been several viral posts on social media about who Mother's Day actually belongs to. A younger mom started an intense debate when she posted a video saying that the holiday should only be celebrated by the young moms currently in the trenches. The woman doesn't believe that people should be required to spend the day with the "grandmas."

Clearly this stance caused a few feathers to be ruffled with older moms who might happen to be grandparents. There were arguments saying that moms don't stop being moms because their children are grown, so they too deserve to be celebrated. But through the comments of different posts making their points, a theme seemed to be developing.

There was an expectation of how things should be, whether it came from the older moms or the younger moms. There also seemed to be a lack of boundaries and clear communication. These are all things that can lead to misunderstandings and resentment.

On both sides of this viral disagreement are differing expectations. Younger moms are expecting to have a chance to be pampered while some may also be assuming their mothers and mother-in-laws are expecting the same, or at the very least expecting their adult children to visit them. Older moms are expecting recognition for the special day and some may also be expecting to be doted on by their adult children and grandchildren. Either way, both seem to be expressing unspoken and un-agreed-upon expectations.

When adult children have children, dynamics and priorities change in families. Now may be a good time to establish boundaries and new traditions around Mother's Day that better suit everyone's needs. Maybe there's no lugging multiple children from grandma to grandma on Mother's Day. That doesn't seem fun or relaxing to the mom of those grandchildren who likely just wants a break for the day.

woman in black and white striped shirt hugging girl in black and white striped shirt

Is Mother's Day for grandmothers as well?

Photo by Ekaterina Shakharova on Unsplash

Instead think about setting a boundary while still honoring the grandmothers in your life. After all, motherhood doesn't end because your children grow up. Setting a boundary around this special day can sound like, "We're staying home on Mother's Day from now on, but the kids made you crafts and I have something for you. We will drop it off on Saturday."

This sort of boundary not only takes care of the expectation of both parties, but it also allows the grandmother to feel honored. There's not always a need for big flashy gifts. Most grandmothers would be thrilled to get a flower made out of their grandchild's handprint with a short poem expressing their love written on the bottom.

woman sitting with baby on her lap surrounded with purples flower

Mothers are mothers at all stages of motherhood.

Photo by Liana Mikah on Unsplash

Some families value quality time over things, so instead of going from house to house, a new tradition can be started where your partner has a Mother's Day cookout or brunch. All the moms in the family get together in one spot and the emphasis is on the guys and kids waiting on the moms. This way moms still get to relax and grandmas still get to be included.

There's also the option of having Mother's Day festivities the weekend prior for grandmas so you don't have to feel pulled in multiple directions the day of. No matter which way you decide to go with this day dedicated to appreciating moms, make sure that you're clear with your expectations and boundaries. It's true that some people have a difficult time setting boundaries with their parents, but it's a necessary step if you want to have the kind of Mother's Day you envisioned.

This article was written by Jacalyn Wetzel, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and practicing therapist.

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Culture

Dad’s 5-year-old daughter's hilarious answers to his questions have the internet screaming

“Do I have to change my name if I get married? Call me Shredder.”

via James Breakwell / Twitter

Raising kids is tough, but there's a lot of laughs along the way. Comedy writer James Breakwell has four daughters under the age of eight and shares their hilarious conversations on Twitter. And, from Breakwell's tweets, it looks like his five year old has a future in comedy. Here's a sampling of some Breakwell's funniest kid-inspired tweets.


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His 5-year-old isn't the only (often unintentionally) hilarious child in the house; the 7-year-old and 3-year-old turn up from time to time. There's also a 2-year-old, but she hasn't been the subject of many tweets yet.


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This article originally appeared four years ago.

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Joy

Cat decided a delivery driver was her new dad by clinging to his leg and refusing to let go

This is the Cat Distribution System at work, and it shall not be questioned.

dretontheborder | TikTok

A cat picks her new owner in the most unmistakable way.

If you've never heard of the Cat Distribution System, then you probably don't own a cat, or you do, but you acquired your cat in a standard way. You know, like at an animal shelter or from some nice lady on social media who had a box of kittens. Most people get cats that way, and it's one thousand percent a valid way to attain cat parent status.

But some lucky folks get cats through the Cat Distribution System (or CDS for short). Is this system real? Only cats really know for sure. They're also the ones that run the system, so the rules and the way in which you attain your purr machine may be a bit wonky. You may wake up with an unknown cat in your bed even though all of your windows are closed, or you just may be like this delivery driver.

The driver was out picking up orders when a cat came out of the CDS and jumped on the man's leg as he attempted to get back to his car. Thanks to his dash cam, you get to see CDS at work, and so did his mom. The video currently has over 2.8 million views on TikTok.

When the driver asked his mom if he could keep the cat, at first she said no. Then she saw the footage of the cat aggressively and desperately choosing her son to be its new cat dad—and that's how you get a cat through the CDS. Once the cat realized she made the right choice, she snuggled up on her dad's lap as he drove her home.

"We are not cat people," reads the text overlay. "My youngest son was out making deliveries last night. A cat kept following him. Then jumped on his leg and would not let go."

I have news for you, Mom: you're cat people now. It's how the Cat Distribution System works. They train their recruits to turn non-cat people into cat people, one unsuspecting human at a time. If you don't make it to the end of the video, yes, they kept the cat and her name is Venus. That's how the system is designed.

Watch the CDS at work below:

@dretontheborder

#catrescue #catrescueroftiktok I am not a #catperson but maybe now I will be after today. I #Love my #son has a #huge #compassionate #heart #momsoftiktok #rescate #gato

This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Family

Dad camping with his kids shared the handwritten note left on his car from a fellow camper

More of this, please.

Photo credit: Canva, Note image via RCampR6/Reddit

A dad got a sweet note from a fellow father after camping with his kids.

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is never being sure whether you're doing a good job or totally bombing it. If you're conscientious enough to even wonder if you're a good parent, you probably are, but parenting entails a million little choices and interactions, and there's always a lingering voice in your head saying, "What if you're really screwing this whole thing up?"

Reassurance and encouragement are always appreciated by parents, but not always received, which is why a note from one camping dad to another has people celebrating the kindness of anonymous strangers.

"You are killing it as a dad."

Someone on Yosemite Reddit thread shared a photo of a handwritten note with the caption, "To the man who left this thoughtful note on my windshield at Lower Pines Campground this weekend, I extend my heartfelt gratitude; your acknowledgment of my efforts to be a good father means a great deal to me."


Windshield Note.
byu/RCampR6 inYosemite

The note reads:

"Bro,

I camped in the spot behind you last night. Let me just say, you are killing it as a dad. First off, I watched your wife guide you in as you backed up your trailer and nailed it on the first try without any yelling. Then your kids unloaded from the truck and were mild-mannered and well behaved. You told stories around the campfire and I had the pleasure of listening to the sounds of giggles and laughter.

From one dad to another, you are killing it. Keep it up.

P.S. Whatever you cooked for dinner smelled delicious!"

How often do we share these thoughts with strangers, even if we have them? And who wouldn't love to get a surprise bit of praise with specific examples of things we did right?

Everyone needs to hear a compliment once in a while.

So many people found the note to be a breath of fresh air and a good reminder to compliment people when we feel the urge:

"That would make any daddy's eyes water."

"It’s always nice, as a guy, to get a compliment."

"I complimented a guy's glasses at work (I'm also a guy, and btw they were really cool glasses, I wasn't just being nice) and now he keeps trying to tell me where he got his glasses and how I should get some. But I'm just having to be polite because I already have glasses and I'm not in the market. I finally had to tell him I'm not going to buy them lmao I just like them on him.

Made me feel like that's the first compliment he's had in years because he can't stop talking about it. Also I mainly liked the glasses because I think he's cute but he really thinks it's just the glasses haha jokes on him that cute bastard."

via GIPHY

"I was in the store with my wife and one of our 'adopted nephews' yesterday (we’re close friends with his parents and we’ve known him and his brother since they were newborns and 2yo, respectively). A woman came up to me at checkout while my wife was running out to the car and said 'I’m not sure what your family relationship is here, but I just have to tell you how nice and refreshing it is to hear all the laughter and joy from the 3 of you. You both seem like such a good influence on him and it warms my heart.' It’s such a small thing but as a dude, I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a compliment in public and it made my freaking day."

"10/10 letter. The and not yelling part gave me a good chuckle lol."

"We need so much more of men getting such heartfelt and sincere compliments. Thanks for sharing. ❤️"

"I’ve never considered leaving a note, but when I see a harmonious family with good parenting, it’s healing for me. My childhood was awful."

"Such an awesome compliment! Even though I don't have children myself, I like to remind my friends too that they're doing great & it brings them happy tears."

via GIPHY

"This made me cry. I love that you are getting your 'flowers.' My dad sucked, I’m so glad you are one of the good ones."

"This made me cry too. It’s so hard to be a human. Let alone a parent. Getting a good job sticker every now and then really means a lot these days."

"I'm a big bearded guy and I would cry if I got this note. More people like this, please."

The best part of this story is that no one knows who the dad who wrote the note is, not even the dad who shared it. It wasn't written for clout or notoriety, it wasn't to get attention or make himself look good. No name or signature, just an anonymous act of kindness to uplift a stranger whether he needed it or not.

We all need to hear or read kind things said about us, and sometimes it means even more coming from an anonymous stranger who has nothing to gain by sharing. A good reminder to share it when you feel it—you never know how many people you may move and inspire.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Eye-opening video explains why children stopped walking to school and why that trend should end

Why did kids just stop walking to school?

via User 13967846/Pixabay

Two kids wearing backpacks walk to school together.


Over the past 40 years, a change has occurred in how kids get to school. Throughout most Western countries, an increasing number of children are driven to school instead of walking or taking a bike. In a new video called “Why did kids stop walking to school?” About Here’s founder, Uytae Lee, cites the U.S. Department of Transportation statistic that in 1969, 48% of kids walked or biked to school, and that number has plummeted to just 11%.

Uytae Lee is an urban planner and videographer passionate about sharing stories about our cities. The video was produced in partnership with TransLink, Metro Vancouver's regional transportation authority.

The video makes a compelling case that more children should walk to school. It’s better for children’s health and reduces congestion and pollution from car exhaust. In a world where we are pushing for people to be greener, flooding the road with cars every morning to take kids on a short drive seems counter-productive.

Some parents drive their kids to school because they fear they could be abducted or hit by a car while walking to school. But Lee doesn’t believe that those fears should be a reason for parents to change their behavior over the past few decades. “As terrible as [kidnappings and car accidents] are, the statistics behind those risks haven't changed significantly over the decades,” Lee says.

The video is a great reminder that reevaluating how kids get to school may be a good idea. When they take a bike or walk, it’s better for their health and that of the planet as well.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Baby still in diapers is blowing people away with his musical ability at the piano

Young Gavriil seems to intuitively understand music, and the best part is that he does it with such joy.

@GavriilScherbenko/YouTube

Gavriil Scherbenko appears to be a musical prodigy.

Mozart blew people away with his composing abilities at age 5. Franz Liszt played piano professionally for the aristocracy when he was 9. Yo-Yo Ma played cello for President John F. Kennedy at age 7.

Musical prodigies have fascinated people for centuries with their mastery of music at unexpected ages. Most of us have the same questions: How and at what age were their abilities discovered? Is it nature or nurture or a combination of both? Can prodigies be created on purpose, or is it something no one can predict or control?

While each musical prodigy has their own unique story, one family is giving the world some early glimpses of what an innate sense for music looks like in a baby who's still in diapers.

Plenty of 1 1/2-year-old's like to pound piano keys to see what they sound like, but Gavriil Sherbenko's piano play goes far beyond experimenting with sound. He and his chubby little fingers make actual chords and coordinate notes between his two hands.

At first, it might look like he's randomly playing keys, but it quickly becomes clear that he is purposeful in his playing.

Watch:

Watching more videos of Gavriil at the piano, we see that his musicality hasn't just appeared out of nowhere. Like most musical prodigies, he's living in a musical household. In some videos, he sits on his sister's lap watching her fingers intently as she plays and sings. In others, he sits on his mother's or father's lap as he experiments with the sounds of the piano, with or without them.

But sometimes he plays totally on his own, and it's clear that he's already got an astounding understanding of the relationships between notes and how to form chords, both from observing what his family is doing and from hands-on practice himself.

But again, even in very musical families, this kind of musicality at this young of an age is astounding.

The best part of the videos of Gavriil at the piano is how much joy and love there are in each one. This is not a Beethoven being boxed about the ears for making a mistake on the piano situation. Yes, his family members are teaching him to understand what he's doing on the piano, but he seems to be enjoying it and so do they. A sports-loving family would toss and kick a ball around with a toddler; this family makes music together.

A nurturing environment meeting an innate sensibility is what prodigious ability is made of. And when those elements are combined with genuine enjoyment, it's the best of all worlds—and a delight to witness.

Watch how Gavriil is able to play the solfege that his sister sings. It's absolutely incredible, not only that he knows the notes to play to go with her pitches, but that he has the manual dexterity and fine motor control to play like he does at his age.

Assuming he continues to enjoy playing it, it will be fun to see where all of this leads as he develops his gifts further. As one commenter said, "Get the tuxedo ready!"

Now three years old, Gavriil is still going strong and making truly incredible progress as a young prodigious musician. Watch his latest video:

We can't wait to see what's ahead for Gavriil! Keep up with him and his family on YouTube.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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