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The not-so-secret travel hacking 'game' that allows you to travel the world for free

Free to learn, complex to play and totally worth it.

The not-so-secret travel hacking 'game' that allows you to travel the world for free
Photo by Serey Kim on Unsplash

The points and miles game is free to learn, complex to play, but totally worth it.

If you have friends who post drool-worthy photos of luxury resorts in beautiful, tropical places and you wonder how on Earth they can afford such amazing vacations, there are four main possibilities: 1) They're rich; 2) They saved up for a long time and splurged; 3) They went into debt to make it happen; 4) They spent far less than you think—perhaps close to nothing—because your friends know how to play the travel hacking game.

If No. 4 intrigues you, buckle up, because I'm about to take you on a mindblowing trip through Travel Hacking Land. But before we embark, I want to make something clear: Everything I'm about to share with you is legitimate, legal and honest. I say that upfront because often people's initial response when I describe how travel hacking works is, "That sounds sketchy." They usually respond with 1) This is a scam, or 2) This is unethical. Neither is true. More on that shortly.

Luxury travel is far more doable than you might think. Photo by Paolo Nicolello on Unsplash


Okay, off we go!

Welcome to Travel Hacking Land, where if you learn to play the game well, you get to travel for free.

A few things to keep in mind as we take this tour:

1. Think of travel hacking as a game rather than a "hack." Like any game, the more strategies you master, the better you get at playing.

2. The game is simple in concept, but complex in practice. Don't expect to walk away from this article knowing exactly how to book a free trip to Europe. There's a fairly steep learning curve, but speaking from experience, it's 100% worth the time to learn it.

3. (Almost) anyone can play. If you have a good credit score, you can play this game. (That being said, people with more spending power will be able to play it faster. No way around that really.)

4. Be ready to unlearn some things. Most of us come into the game with major misconceptions about how credit card points and airline miles work.

5. It truly is as mindblowing as it sounds. Yes, the people who play this game really do travel the world regularly—often in luxury—for free or nearly free. No, it's not an exaggeration. (I'm not selling anything here, by the way—I love to travel, I love saving money and I love strategy games, so this hobby just hits all my happy buttons.)

Also, I didn't make any of this up or figure it out on my own. I learned it from Bryce Conway, founder of 10xTravel, a website where anyone can learn all the ins and outs of this game and see how other people are playing it. (10xTravel Insiders is also the largest and most active Facebook group dedicated to this game, with more than 113,000 members, so Conway definitely is the go-to expert in this space.)

As we take our tour through Travel Hacking Land, I'll share what Conway says about how the game works and what anyone who's interested in it needs to know.

The travel hacking game is played with three main pieces: credit card points, hotel points and airline miles.

On a basic level, the goal of the travel hacking game is to optimize credit card points, hotel loyalty points and airline miles and make the most of how those award systems work and interact with each other. You have to understand these pieces of the game to strategize using them.

The first thing to understand is that credit card points are the most powerful pieces in the game. Everything else stems from there.

Each credit card grouping (Chase, American Express, Citibank, Capital One, etc.) has its own points-earning system. You earn points by spending with a credit card (i.e., "earn 1% cash back on purchases") or by signing up for new cards and qualifying for sign-up bonuses ("spend $4000 in the first three months and get 100,000 bonus points"). Most of us most likely have points-earning cards of some sort, because they're so common.

Generally speaking, the cash value of a credit card point is one cent, so 100,000 points would have a cash value of $1,000. If I have 100,000 Chase points, for instance, I can trade those in for $1,000 cash back.

That's exactly what I used to do—get cash back for the points I earned on my Chase cards—and I thought it was pretty awesome. Now I kick myself for it because those points are sooooo much more valuable when used in the points/miles game for travel.

Credit card points become more valuable when they are transferred to travel partners.

Transferring credit card points to airline or hotel partners greatly increases their value.

Photo by Trac Vu on Unsplash

As I said, the game is complex, and there's no way to explain it all in one article. But here's one example of what it means to optimize the points and miles systems.

Recently I wanted to buy a one-way ticket on Southwest airlines. The cash price for the ticket was $88, but I could get the exact same ticket for 4,400 Southwest Rapid Rewards miles.

Southwest is a travel partner with Chase, which means I can transfer my Chase points to Southwest and they count as Rapid Reward miles. 4,400 Chase points would be worth $44 if I got cash back for them, but if I transfer them to Southwest to purchase that $88 ticket, I've just doubled the value of those points.

Double the value is pretty good, right? But that's just scratching the surface. As another example, with 100,000 Chase points, I could get $1,000 cash back or I could transfer those points to Hyatt and get four nights at the Grand Hyatt resort in Kauai—which, on the dates I just looked up in August, would cost $900/night cash. So for $1,000 worth of points, I could get a $3,600 stay at a luxury resort. Almost quadrupled their value.

But keep in mind, I'm not actually even paying that $1,000 out of pocket. These are points I earned for free, just by signing up for and using my credit card (on things I'm spending money on anyway) to earn points.

When people say they're traveling for free, this is what they mean.

If you want to play the points/miles travel hacking game, you can learn how for free.

I had a vague understanding of airline miles and credit card points before taking Conway's 10xTravel course. I'd used frequent flyer miles before and my husband and I have used credit cards for everything (paying them off every month—that's vitally important) to earn points for cash.

I don't even remember now what made me click on the course, but I'm so glad I did. There are multiple travel hacking websites and courses out there, but I appreciated the way Conway laid the whole thing out and that he was totally upfront about how he makes his money with a free course. (Basically, he asks that course participants use his credit card referral links if/when they start getting into the game, which is beyond fair for the amount of knowledge the course provides.)

Conway started puzzling out the game himself when he was in college, when there were only a handful of online forums and Reddit discussions about how to optimize points and miles. His friends would see him traveling all the time and ask him how he was doing it, so he'd explain it. Eventually, he got tired of having to go through the whole game with new people over and over again at parties, so he wrote it all down in an email that he could just forward to whoever asked.

Finally, a friend told him he should turn it into an ebook. That ebook eventually morphed into the course and the 10xTravel website and a full-fledged win-win business. We win by getting free knowledge about how to game points and miles to travel for practically nothing. He wins by earning credit card affiliate income each time people use his referral links to start playing.

The biggest travel hacking hurdle to get over is our misconceptions about credit cards.

Credit card points can be incredibly valuable for travel.

Photo by Pickawood on Unsplash

One big key strategy in this game is regularly signing up for new credit cards to take advantage of sign-up bonuses, as that's the quickest way to accumulate a lot of points. But most people think that's nuts.

"When I tell people that I generally open 10 or more credit cards a year, almost every single person … their eyes get bigger and they kind of freak out," says Conway. "And the next question is always, doesn't that destroy your credit score?"

No, it doesn't.

"It's very straightforward how that works, but of course, people have a bad association of credit cards with debt and bad credit," he says. "So you have to kind of get past that."

But won't credit card companies get wind of people doing this and shut it down? Conway says nope.

"They know that this exists. In some ways, they kind of encourage it because most people aren't able to make points work or are not willing to put in the effort to make points work in a way that is really advantageous to them," he says. "So it's kinda like the banks are making a bet like, 'Hey, we have this cool point system. You probably won't figure it out. It's profitable for us anyway.'"

"Credit card companies make a lot of money when people use their product, both on interest charges and fees—kind of the negative side of credit cards—but also just on swipe transaction fees," says Conway. "People forget that credit card companies make a large portion of their money on people who don't even ever pay interest or have credit card debt."

Credit cards are profitable for banks, so they incentivize people opening them. And banks compete to get you to open their cards, so all we're doing here is making the most of that competition and the incentives that come with it. No one is getting swindled. You have to spend on the cards to earn the points—even the sign-up bonuses—so banks are still making their money.

The key is to use your credit card for every transaction possible, pay off the balance each month before any interest posts and keep getting new cards for the sign-up bonuses.

Here are some examples of people who have learned how to play the travel hacking game and won big.

The places travel hackers go for free or nearly free is mind-boggling.

Photo by Ittemaldiviano 🇲🇻 on Unsplash

One of the things you start seeing after you take the 10xTravel course and join the group on Facebook is people sharing the amazing trips they've taken for free or close to free. Some of those stories get posted on the 10xTravel site, too.

For example, one couple took a two-week, five-country, $17,000 trip to Europe for just over $1,500 out of pocket. Another family detailed how they saved $14,000 in travel costs on trips to Puerto Rico, Europe, Costa Rica and Canada—not to mention getting a ton of free travel domestically—over a two-year period.

Some people in the Facebook group have shared trips where they've gotten redemption values of 10 or 20 cents per credit card point or more (essentially turning what would be $1,000 cashback into $10,000 or $20,000 in travel value). Those are exceptionally amazing, but it's not unusual at all to see 3x, 4x or 5x point values being redeemed by travelers in the group.

Often the only cash people have to shell out on their trips is for food and a modicum of taxes on flights, which don't get covered by points. At all-inclusive resorts, food is covered, so all they pay for are any extra activities.

And we're not talking cheap places or terrible traveling conditions. You know those over-the-water bungalows you see in the Maldives? I've seen people fly first-class there and stay in those places, all on points and miles. It's bonkers what people can do if they play this game well.

Why don't more people play the travel hacking game if it's really so great?

Again, the game is simple in concept but complex in practice. There's a lot to learn and a lot to unlearn at first, and how the various points and miles systems intertwine and interact can make your brain hurt until it all starts to click. But a lot of what stops people from even starting to learn is simply not believing that it is what it is.

"I think it doesn't really make sense to most rational minds," Conway admits. "Because things don't just kind of come for free in life. There's always gonna be some sort of catch down the road. So when you can show them how easy it is to book a meaningful amount of travel—and good travel—using simple tactics with points and miles, it seems too unbelievable."

This is especially true with business or first-class airline travel. The redemption values for points on those seats can be simply astounding.

"People assume that I'm gonna do a bunch of work just to be able to get a three-stop red-eye flight to Vegas—is that even worth it? And that's just not the case," says Conway. "My wife and I have flown first-class all over the world and can do so pretty much whenever and wherever we want, thanks to this."

The only thing better than hanging out in paradise is hanging out in paradise for free.

Photo by Serey Kim on Unsplash

Travel hacking (a term Conway bristles at because it makes the whole thing sound sketchy) is a long game—and more chess than checkers for sure—but for those who wish they could afford to travel more, it's definitely a game worth learning how to play.

Thanks for coming along on the tour of Travel Hacking Land! And hey, if you see your friends sunning themselves in Fiji or exploring Machu Picchu or galavanting around Europe, don't assume they have gobs of excess wealth. They may have just learned to game the points and miles systems in a way that lets them travel for ridiculously little money.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

True


Life can be bleak, so we’re going to be celebrating the small joys while we can—whether that’s a sweet snack that boosts your mood (courtesy of our friends at All In), or a spontaneous moment between strangers that's so joyful it restores your faith in the algorithm (even if only for a second). These momentary mood boosters are everywhere you look—you just have to be able to find them underneath all the noise. And that’s where we come in.

Consider this weekly web series your cheat sheet to the best of the Internet—not just random memes to make you laugh, but examples of people truly finding something extraordinary in the mundane. Each Friday we'll be delivering five pieces of media that allow you to stop for a second, take a breath, and feel just a little bit brighter among the daily stress. (Think of us as your chronically online bestie who knows exactly how to make you smile, exactly when you need it the most.)

Ready to smile? Here we go.

1. The best travel buddy surprise 

 
 @tarareynolds03 

Surprising Grandson with going on vacation with him.

 ♬ original sound - Tara Leanne Reynolds 
 
  This sweet grandson thought he was just heading out on vacation—until he spotted a very familiar face at the airport. The moment he sees Grandma standing there, his jaw literally drops. He sets his backpack down and then runs straight into her arms for the biggest hug. "Oh my God! You're coming with us to Jamaica, right?!" he asks her, already smiling from ear to ear. It's the kind of unscripted joy that makes you want to call your own grandma to say hi—and other TikTokers are having all the feels in the comments section: "This brought me to tears," says user KE. "I would kill to go on another vacation with my grandma again. She passed in February. Take so many pictures!"

2. Saying 'thank you' to a very special teacher 

Last week, we shared a question on Upworthy’s Instagram that sparked an outpouring of heartfelt responses:
 “If you could say thank you to one person right now, who would it be, and why?”

For Kate Delisle, a teacher in North Andover, Massachusetts, the answer came instantly: her longtime colleague and teaching assistant, Jeanne Donovan.

“Jeanne has been by my side for seventeen years,” Kate shared. “Next year, we’ll have to split our program — and we won’t be working together anymore.” In her message, Kate described Jeanne as more than just a coworker. She’s supportive, empathetic, and “my right arm — someone who lights up every room she enters. I’m privileged to know her and consider her family.”

To celebrate that incredible bond, our friends at All In recently paid a surprise visit to Kate and Jeanne at their school — letting Jeanne know just how deeply appreciated she is by her colleagues and students alike. And get this: Jeanne is *so* beloved that Kate's parents, kids, sister, and husband all came to the surprise to honor her alongside everyone else. A true tear-jerker and a must-watch.

3. The proudest big brother

 
 @caylaleighbrown This is the original video, He also said it looks like Mike Wazowski after we got done crying LOL #fyp #infertility #infertilityjourney #twins #twinpregnancy #ultrasound #pregnancyafterinfertility #pregnancyannouncement #twinannouncement #twinsies #twinmom ♬ original sound - Cayla Brown ✨ WDW 
 
 

Grab your tissues for this one. After eight long years of hoping for another baby, TikTok user Cayla Lee Brown surprises her stepson Caleb with a sonogram photo—and his reaction is nothing short of beautiful. When Caleb realizes not only that he's going to be a big brother but that twin siblings are on the way, his eyes well up and he whispers "We're having twins?!" Cue the heart explosion. In a follow-up video, Cayla shares something that makes this news extra special: Caleb isn't actually her biological child, and although she considers Caleb her son she wasn't sure she'd be able to have biological children at all. "[Caleb] was my gift and I was blessed with two more," she explains. This video is the best reminder that love makes a family, and sometimes the best surprises take a little time.

4. Overly excited dogs 

 
 @puppylovestoplay6 Part23: When they hear a word they like#dog#funny#funnyanimals#funnypets#animals #dogsofttiktok #pet #foryou #longervideos#foryou#fyp #funnyvideo ♬ original sound - Puppylovestoplay 
 
 

This feel-good compilation is basically a highlight reel of dogs at their happiest: realizing they’re about to go on a walk. From excited tail wags to full-body zoomies, every pup in this video gives a masterclass in unfiltered enthusiasm. One especially clever owner even uses sign language to say “walk,” just to see if their dog picks up on it—and spoiler: the reaction is still pure chaos (the joyful kind). These dogs just know, and they are ready (read: unhinged.) Truly a reminder that the simplest things—in this case, some fresh air and a little adventure—are what spark the most joy.

5.Bunny ASMR

 
 @megancottone The way she munched down the carrot ribbon #bunnies ♬ Married Life (From "Up") - Gina Luciani 
 
 

If you've had a stressful day, allow this floofy little friend to press the reset button on your brain. TikTok creator @megancottone gives us a full 60 seconds of bunny bliss: one ridiculously adorable rabbit, some deliciously crunchy snacks, and the kind of soft background music that makes your heart rate drop in the best way. The gentle munching noises? Therapeutic. The fuzzy face and floppy ears? Instant joy. It’s like nature’s version of white noise—but cuter. Honestly, someone get this bunny a wellness podcast deal.

For even more “extra”-ordinary moments, come find us on social media (@upworthy) or on upworthy.com!

For scrumptious snacks that add an extra boost of joy to your day, be sure to check out All In. 

Screenshots via @castrowas95/Twitter

A seal escaping a killer whale attack.

In the Pacific Northwest, orca sightings are a fairly common occurrence. Still, tourists and locals alike marvel when a pod of "sea pandas" swims by, whipping out their phones to capture some of nature's most beautiful and intelligent creatures in their natural habitat. While orcas aren't a threat to humans, there's a reason they're called "killer whales." To their prey, which includes just about everything that swims except humans, they are terrifying apex predators who hunt in packs and will even coordinate to attack whales several times their own size.

So if you're a human alone on a little platform boat, and a sea lion that a group of orcas was eyeing for lunch jumps onto your boat, you might feel a little wary. Especially when those orcas don't just swim on by, but surround you head-on.

Watch exactly that scenario play out (language warning, if you've got wee ones you don't want f-bombed):


 

Ummm, yeah. An orca sighting is one thing, but this is a whole other story. Orcas have been known to knock large prey off of icebergs, so the whole "orcas don't hurt humans" thing doesn't feel super reassuring in this scenario.

The footage came from TikTok user @nutabull, whose now-deleted account stated she was from Vancouver Island.

The viral video sparked a debate about whether the sea lion should be kicked off the boat or not. The woman kept telling the sea lion it "had to go" with a frank "Sorry, buddy, that's life," message, though she never actively tried to push it off. Many commenters joked about yeeting the sea lion off the boat to avoid a potentially disastrous encounter with the orcas. Others were on #teamsealion, saying they wouldn't have the heart to boot the poor thing.

It's a big philosophical question. The philosophical underpinnings of the belief that humans should stay out of the matters of wild animals, so as not to interrupt the delicate balance of nature, is called "relational non-interventionism." The philosophy holds that we have no general obligation to alleviate animal suffering, and that we typically do not have special obligations to ease the suffering of wild animals. Therefore, we generally do not have a duty to intervene in nature to ease the suffering of wild animals. That's one thing to believe, but who wants to see animals suffer?


The reality is orcas eat sea lions—the circle of life and whatnot. Most of us just don't find ourselves in the middle of that circle, having to figure out whether the apex predators surrounding our boat are going to patiently wait for their lunch to come back or take it upon themselves to bump it back into the water.

Thankfully for the woman, the sea lion seemed to decide on its own that its options were limited and dove back in to take its chances with the orcas. But phew, that encounter would be harrowing for just about anyone.

Best of luck, sea lion. Hope you're an exceptional swimmer.

This article originally appeared four years ago.

@misswinans_teach/TikTok

Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear a bonnet and PJs.

While we often think of test day as purely a stressful day for students, teachers definitely feel the pressure too. Just take middle school teacher Sarah Ashley Winans’ word for it.

Winans recently went viral on TikTok after sharing a video of herself entering the school she works at in the middle of the night, donning her pajamas and a sleeping bonnet. No, this wasn’t a bizarre episode of sleepwalking—Winans woke up from her pre-test day slumber and realized she had forgotten to plug in her computer charging cart that would be vital for students to take the exam.

Luckily, the crisis was somewhat easily averted. In the clip we see her hop out of her car, unlock the building, walk down the hall and into her classroom, and in two seconds flat she comes out flashing an “all is well” peace sign to the security camera. Phew.



“Test anxiety isn’t just for kids,” her caption read.

In an interview with Today, Winans shared how this test anxiety comes from a place of wanting all her students to feel at ease. "I don't really sleep the week of testing, because I want them to be OK, and I want them to feel confident, not to be nervous and worried. I know testing can really put a lot of pressure on people."

 teachers, teacher of tiktok, test day, test anxiety, state testing, prepping for test, funny teachers, state exam, chromebook Sarah Ashley Winans.Courtesy of Sarah Ashley Winans

Down in the comments, people really felt for Winans’ plight.

"I just know you were stress texting your principal,” one person wrote. Another echoed, "Yall know she was (on the phone) with someone bc she was scared to death."

Indeed, Winans did call her administrator before making her adventure to the school (luckily only a five minute drive away), and that was actually how she got this hilarious footage. "She let me look at it, and then I said, 'I have to record it,'" Winans told the outlet

Viewers who were not feeling secondhand anxiety just chimed in with pure appreciation.

“This is so Janine coded,” one person wrote, referencing Quinta Brunson's character in Abbott Elementary.

 teachers, tests, testing, abbott elementary, gif Janine from Abbott Elementary. media.giphy.com  

“Not all heroes wear capes, they’re in bonnets plugging in the chromebook cart at 10pm,” quipped another.

Still another said, “Just so you know, you’re an amazing teacher because WHO would go late at night when you’re already in your jammies? You’re awesome.”

Following the huge response to her video, Winans told Today, that she hopes it humanizes teachers a bit and reminds folks they aren’t perfect, but still do everything they can to provide for their students.

"This is just something we do. Teachers, you make mistakes, and you forget to do things and, I mean, you just do what you have to do to make sure your kids are successful. And I was just doing my job."

So, in addition to providing education, therapy, and mentorship, teachers also have to do a little recovery missions from time to time. That’s just reason #509 that they deserve more.

This article originally appeared in May.

A woman in a hot car.

Cars can become unbearably hot in the summer. Even at a seemingly mild 80 degrees outside, the temperature inside can soar to a scorching 109°F within 20 minutes. According to the CDC, in just 40 minutes it can escalate to a blistering 118°F. After an hour, it can peak at a searing 123°F. And that’s just the air temperature; a dark dashboard or seat can reach a staggering 200°F.

"These objects (e.g., dashboard, steering wheel, child seat) heat the adjacent air by conduction and convection and also give off longwave radiation (red) which is very efficient at warming the air trapped inside a vehicle," the CDC explained in their report. It can take five to 10 minutes for your car to cool down on a hot day by turning on the air conditioning, which probably means you burn your buttocks and thighs on the hot seat. That’s why Hannah Fry shared an amazing hack on TikTok, demonstrating how to cool your car down in seconds using the laws of thermodynamics.

Fry is Professor of the Public Understanding of Mathematics at the University of Cambridge. She is a mathematician, a best-selling author, an award-winning science host, and the host of numerous popular podcasts and television shows.

@fryrsquared

That age-old dilemma of choosing between having a non-sweltering car or baffling a passerby because you look like a fool who doesn't know how to use a door

Fry suggests that instead of turning on the air conditioning, which she claims is “not worth it” because of the time it takes, open one of the windows on the opposite side of the door. Then, rapidly open and close the driver’s side door, so it moves back and forth like a fan.

“The reason why it works is that when you open and close the door, especially if you do it quickly, the door, as it's moving outwards, it sweeps out all of the air that's in its way, creating this sort of area of low pressure that you get here,” Fry said. “And then that sets up something called bulk flow, which is where all of the hot, sweaty, horrible air inside the car is drawn outwards.”

 hot car, hot steering wheel, hot man, sweat, summer,  A man sweating in his car.via Canva/Photos

Fry’s super practical approach to a problem everyone deals with blew many people’s minds in the comments. “If I ever catch someone in real life doing this, I’m gonna know they’ve watched this exact video,” a commenter wrote. “I will give it a go, but while opening and closing the door, scream, ‘Be gone, heat demons! BE GONE!’” another added. “Going to remember this the next time my partner farts in the car,” someone joked.

The fact that the inside air temperature in a car and the outside temperature are often drastically different, especially in the summer, serves as a crucial reminder to dog owners everywhere to never leave their pet unattended in a parked car. "Most dog owners know that you can’t leave a pet in a hot car," the American Kennel Club writes. "Temperatures can rise to dangerous levels in just minutes, putting your dog at risk of heatstroke. But what if you open a window a little bit? Does that make it safe to leave your dog in the car? The answer is simple. You should never leave a dog alone in the car, even with the windows cracked. In some states, it’s even illegal."

The following video by The Dodo explains why leaving a dog in a hot car can be deadly, even when it doesn’t feel that hot outside.

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

A stressed mother and her baby boomer parents.

There is a strange phenomenon that occurred in the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s, when Gen Xers and older millennials were raised: their baby boomer parents were not around very much. This generation of children was often taken care of by daycares or attended school with keys strung around their necks, and when they came home, they were told not to answer the door until a parent arrived. They were the children raised during both the divorce epidemic and the time when, for many families, both parents had to work.

However, the least parented generation in American history had great relationships with their grandparents, who loved to spend time with them and take on babysitting duties. But now that the kids raised in the ‘70s, ‘80s, and '90s have children, they’re noticing something interesting: the parents who weren’t around to raise them aren’t that into being grandparents either.

There is a lot of talk about the differences between baby boomers as grandparents and their parents from the Silent Generation. Some believe it’s because baby boomers have more money than their parents, who were raised at a time when grandparents played a more significant role in child-rearing. After all, they didn't expect to travel or have busy social lives.

 baby boomers, parenting, grandparents, baby boomer grandparents, me generation A baby boomer couple.via Canva/Photos

This generation trend begs the question: Why do boomer parents beg their kids to have children, but shy away when it comes to spending time with them? An upset mother shared about the double standard on Reddit.

“My mother, a devout Christian, always preached the importance of getting married and having children. Now that I’ve done both (and happily so) and moved to be closer to her, she has very little interest in hanging out with us and never, ever offers to watch her grandkids,” she wrote. “I’ve been reading up on this, and it seems that it’s not uncommon. After moving across the country during COVID, I had dreams of my mom wanting to be an active part of our lives. The sad truth of it is, is that I see her maybe once more a year than when I lived across the country…and it’s not for lack of trying on my part.”

The post resonated with many mothers her age who had experienced the same problem. Their boomer parents begged them to have children, but they won’t lift a finger to see them.

“Yup, completely describes my boomer parents. They begged and begged for us to relocate back to my home city. Still, as we began searching for new job opportunities/places to live, we naturally discussed the possibility of them spending some alone time with the grandkids from time to time,” another mom wrote. “That was a full stop for them. Both my parents insisted they’d retired from child watching duties and would not ever be utilized as ‘babysitters.’ The only acceptable option for them was for us to be present the entirety of the time their grandkids were interacting with them.”

 baby boomers, parenting, grandparents, baby boomer grandparents, me generation, grandma, gardening A grandma in the garden. via Canva/Photos

“I think you hit the nail on the head. A lot of the boomers want to be 'seen' as 'good grandparents' while not doing a damn thing,” another mom added.

Another mom noted that their grandparents were amazing, but their parents are the exact opposite. “What’s crazy is I spent TONS of time with my grandparents as a child. I’d routinely be dropped off on the weekends and weeknights,” the mother wrote. “My grandparents picked me up from school regularly. It’s not like my grandparents were doing the same behavior, and therefore it’s a learned generational thing.”

 baby boomers, parenting, grandparents, baby boomer grandparents, me generation,  Baby boomers throwing up a peace sign. via Canva/Photos

One mother in the thread had some sympathy for baby boomers who felt a lot of pressure to have children, regardless of whether they wanted them or not. She believes that now they’re getting their time back. “It’s because even though Boomers had the physical choice to become parents, they didn’t have the cultural/social choice. Whenever I hear this story, I figure the grandparents didn’t really want children. It also explains why we were at our grandparents so often: anything they could do to not be around us, they took it up,” she wrote.

It’s wrong to paint an entire generation with the same brush, and there are, no doubt, plenty of wonderful baby boomer grandparents out there. However, it’s not surprising that a group of people once called the “Me Generation” is more reluctant to spend time with their families than those who came before them. One wonders if their feelings toward family will change when they become the ones who need to be cared for?

This article originally appeared in May.

A woman looks very embarrassed.

Maggie Perkins, 32, made headlines in 2022 when she quit the teaching profession to work at Costco, and showed no interest in looking back. "The conditions were worsening rapidly, and I realized they weren't getting better, and nobody seemed alarmed enough to do anything. I was 29 when I decided to leave," she told People, noting she was making $47,000 at the time.

"The more I learned about Costco and the different roles at the company, the happier I was at the idea of working there, whether at the warehouse or corporate, for the rest of my career," she added. "I feel like there was a great potential reward for pursuing it." Now, three years later, she trains fellow employees and has no regrets about leaving her former career.

Now that Perkins has been out of the classroom for a few years, she can say the things she couldn't when she was working as an educator. So, she created a video where she revealed four big things that she had to keep to herself, and all of them are centered around kids’ hygiene. "I used to be a teacher, and I couldn't have said any of these things to your kid or to you while I was a teacher,” she opens her video.

@itsmaggieperkins

Things I couldn’t say while I was a teacher: 1. Cut your kids nails 2. Get them deodorant before they start really stinking 3. Start wearing a bra before it’s really noticeable 4. Wash those hoodies. #teachersoftiktok #formerteacher #teacherlife #teachertok #middleschoolteacher

What do teachers want to tell their students and parents but can’t?

1. Cut your child’s nails

“If your kid's nails are long and dirty, other kids are noticing, and also it is gross. Kids literally get impetigo from their own fingernails,” she said.

2. Start using deodorant before they smell

“Please start putting deodorant on your kids before you notice that they need it,” she said. “Fifth grade, guys, fifth grade, deodorant.”

3. Your child needs to start wearing a bra sooner than you think 

“It doesn’t have to be like a real bra. This is just like a soft, athleisure-type situation,” she said. “No one wants to be made fun of because it looks like they should be wearing a bra and they're not.”

4. Wash that sweatshirt and hoodie often

“Once those cuffs start to be like literally brown and ratty, wash the jacket. I am watching them wipe their snot on the jacket sleeve day after day after day,” she said. “They're walking around in a dirty snot rag.”

 girl hoodie, young girl sweatshirt, girl in orange, young sassy girl, hand signals  A young girl posing in an orange sweatshirt.via Canva/Photos

Perkins’ advice is for the child’s health, but also to save them from embarrassment. “There's no worse feeling than being a sixth grader who has this like acute sense of being different than others and criticized,” she said. “Your child is probably more aware of it than you are, and they're just not talking to you about it, because kids don't talk to their parents that much.”

The post was popular on TikTok, garnering over 2.4 million views, and it resonated with Perkins’ followers, who shared how hygiene issues had caused them a lot of embarrassment when they were young. "Parents, please also teach your kids to be compassionate because not all kids come from a loving home. Be the love they don’t receive and don’t make fun of the kids who may smell or are not wearing a bra,” one viewer wrote. "I would have loved for a teacher to tell this to my mom. I went to middle school without a bra, and I was so embarrassed to change in the locker rooms," another added.

 boy at lunch, school lunch, embarassed student, salad, middle-school boy, middle school girls A child pre-teen serving himself lunch. via Canva/Photos

Ultimately, Perkins’ tips are all about helping parents anticipate and address any potential hygiene or attire issues their child may encounter before they become a problem, whether that’s causing illness or embarrassment. The former teacher’s tips are a great reminder that a little extra care at home can make things a lot easier for kids on the playground and in the classroom.

This article originally appeared in May.