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Thousands will be in D.C. to stand with women. Here's how to stand with them from home.

Join the movement.

The Women's March on Washington is an opportunity for Americans to stand up against the expected affront to civil rights under the next president. Hundreds of thousands of marchers — women from all walks of life (including a handful of A-list celebrities) and men (yes, men are welcome and encouraged to attend!) — are expected in the nation's capital on Jan. 21, 2017, the day after Donald Trump is inaugurated as 45th president of the United States.

Given that President-elect Trump has "insulted, demonized, and threatened" so many groups — including people of color, immigrants, Muslims, and survivors of sexual assault — the goal of the march is to send a bold message to him: We are standing together.


Anti-Trump demonstrators in Chicago in November 2016. Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images.

Getting to Washington, D.C., on inauguration weekend, however, takes time and money that many of us cannot afford. That's OK, though — there are still several ways you can join the movement, regardless of where you are in the country (or world, for that matter).

Here are 25 ways to show your support for the Women's March on Washington, even if you can't be there in person:

1. Join a smaller, local march near you.

There are 616 (and counting) sister marches around the world demonstrating in smaller — but still powerful — capacities. If distance is your biggest barrier, maybe there's a more local solution to your problem.

2. Make a poster and stick it in your front yard for the day.

Or, you know, until 2020.

Photo by Mark Makela/Getty Images.

3. Know someone who's driving to D.C.? Help them get there by chipping in some gas money.

In most parts of the country, gas prices aren't quite as obscenely high as they once were — thanks, Obama! — but still, fuel is expensive. If you wish you could attend but can't, help another marcher out. $10 (literally) goes a long way.

4. Invite friends over to watch coverage of the march together, and set a goal to help girls and women in 2017.

A goal could be to routinely help out at a women's shelter, volunteer as a clinic escort, or become a Big Sister. There will be many causes that need that kind of extra attention and dedication under the Trump administration.

And on that note...

5. Donate to organizations that will be more vital than ever under a Trump administration.

Contribute to an organization or two you care about — be it Planned Parenthood (the national group or local chapters), Emily's List (which helps get more women elected to office), the NAACP, the National Network of Abortion Funds, Black Girls Code, the ACLU, National Women's Law Center, NARAL, Girls Write Now, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Purple Purse, or others. Every dollar helps.

6.  Wear a "Nasty Woman" shirt, and share a pic on social media.

Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images.

Make your own — or buy one — and help that infamous-turned-glorious 2016 debate moment live on forever.

7. Go on strike for all (or part of) the day.

Women Strike is encouraging folks to lay low on Jan. 20-21 as an act of protest against the incoming administration and Congress, both of which are aiming to enact policies that disproportionately harm women — like stripping health care and reproductive rights and dismissing paid maternity leave and child care.

8. Make just the right playlist, and blast it on repeat. All. Day. Long.

Songs may or may not include "Sisters Are Doin' It for Themselves," "I Am Woman," "You Don't Own Me," "Respect," "Rebel Girl," and an assortment of Beyoncé's greatest hits.

Photo by Express Newspapers/Getty Images.

9. Carve out a half-hour of your day to follow, subscribe to, and learn about women who were inspired to throw their hats into the political ring for the first time after the election.

Not only have women of color made historic gains in the Senate this year, but the rise of Trumpism appears to have inspired a surge in women vying for political office.

People like Chelsea Wilson, a member of the Cherokee Nation who lives in Oklahoma; Brianna Wu, an advocate against online harassment who was at the heart of 2014's GamerGate; and Wendy Carrillo, a Los Angeles woman whose parents brought her from El Salvador illegally as a child, are among the more than 4,500 women who've expressed grassroots interest in getting their names on the ballot in the coming years. Let's make sure they don't go unnoticed.

Speaking of the ballot box...

10. Set up an alert on your calendar to remind you when midterm elections are coming up.

Presidential campaigns feel like years-long sagas with plot twists galore — those elections are hard to miss. Midterms, however, seem to slip under the radar for most Americans, even though the results are just as consequential. Really, 2018 is just around the corner.

11. Call D.C. pizza joints or bakeries — ideally, the day before the march — and have them send a couple pizzas or a few dozen donuts to demonstrators.

Democracy can be a tiring activity, after all, and marchers will appreciate the fuel-up.

Photo via iStock.

12. Call your representatives to let them know you're part of the movement against Trump's attacks on civil rights.

I know you've heard this one a million times. But really, calling your reps can — and actually does — work. (Pro tip: Flooding their phone lines sends a much more powerful message than an email or letter.)

13. Connect two or more people you know who want to go to the march but don't want to go alone.

You may have friends from different circles who'd go to the march if they had another person to share travel expenses and driving time with. Post a Facebook status asking if this is the case with any of your friends, and be the facilitator if anyone responds.

14. If you know someone who's going to the march, create a sign for them to carry on your behalf.

That's what artist Narya Marcille is doing. She can't make it to D.C. on Jan. 21, but her aunts and sister will be carrying this rad poster for her.

Illustration courtesy of Narya Marcille.

Marcille's design has become wildly popular online. You can buy the digital download for prints, shirts, and more on her Etsy page. Even cooler: 50% of profits are being donated to Planned Parenthood and Running Start, Marcille says.

Even if you don't have the money to buy Marcille's design, however...

15. Change your Facebook profile pic in support of the march.

In a post on Facebook, Marcille wrote that anyone can use the illustration for their Facebook profile picture in an act of solidarity with the movement. If you're extra inspired, you can even design your own artwork to use (or take a pic of the yard sign you made or the "Nasty Woman" shirt you're rocking, and use that photo instead).

16. Set aside some time to read and subscribe to digital and print publications that give a voice to women from all walks of life.

Publications like Autostraddle, Clutch, Gloria Steinem's Ms. Magazine — and even ones that have pivoted toward issues-based content more recently, like Teen Vogue and Cosmopolitan — can only run if people are reading and subscribing.

Photo b Paul J. Richards/AFP/Getty Images.

17. Sponsor someone else to march through NARAL.

NARAL, a political group aimed at protecting abortion rights, will let you chip in to help someone else attend the Women's March. $40 pays for one college student's ride to D.C., but if that's too steep, $15 will provide three signs for marchers.

18. Share your own story about sexism and discrimination you've encountered in your life.

Use Jan. 21 as a reason to open up to friends and family online about how you've experienced discrimination or abuse and why the march matters on a personal level. If posting it on Facebook is scary — which is totally understandable — maybe tell just one other person you trust. The more people speak up, the better.

If you do decide to open up on social media, though...

19. Use the #WomensMarch and #WhyIMarch hashtag on Facebook and Twitter.

Sometimes hashtags get a bad rap for being a sorry excuse for real activism. But hashtags really can unite communities in solidarity — especially when they're used to amplify the voices of minorities, immigrants, women, those who are LGBTQ, and so on.

20. Sign up to become a See Jane advocate for the Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media.

As Meryl Streep reminded us at the Golden Globes, Hollywood has a responsibility to fight Trumpism. You can help them do it by signing up to be a See Jane advocate for the Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media, a group aimed at ending gender bias and discrimination in the entertainment industry. The soon-to-be-launched advocate program encourages supporters to build awareness and expand the institute's mission — because media representation makes an impact off-screen, too.

21. Like and share this incredible video of Rep. Luis Gutierrez explaining why he's going to the march and standing up to Trump.

22. Buy a Women's March on Washington shirt.

All proceeds go toward the planning and production costs associated with the march itself.

23. If you live in the D.C. area and have a spare bedroom, open it to a frugal marcher.

If your home is in or around the capital and you use a vetted vacation rental website (like Airbnb), consider offering a space for marchers to rest their heads. Accommodation costs in D.C. will be sky-high that weekend — give them a price cut instead of a price surge.

24. Know someone who's anxious about a Trump presidency? Call them up to chat.

Photo via iStock.

This election has been a lot to process for many of us — especially among those in groups that have been targeted by Trump, members of his administration, and his supporters. Call up a friend you know who's worried, and use the march as a talking point to reassure them you'll be a supportive ally when things get tough.

25. Watch and share photos and videos from the march on Facebook, and help break the "filter bubble" that too often divides us.

There should be live video feeds from the march from outlets on Facebook. Make sure to engage and share — especially if you're someone who usually doesn't speak out politically.

If you can express why the march matters to you on a personal level, these issues become more human and less about blue America vs. red America. And the more Likes, comments, and shares we garner, the more we break down the filter bubbles that divide us.

Inauguration Day will bring a stress-filled, anxiety-ridden morning for many of us. If you need that day to unplug, please do.

Because starting on the 21st — and just about every day for the next four years — we'll need you to keep fighting the good fight by our side.

Photo by Thos Robinson/Getty Images for MoveOn.org Political Action.

True

Food banks are a community staple for millions of Americans. Not only do they provide nutritional assistance to low-income families, they’re also often one of the few places where people can get non-food essentials like diapers, toiletries, paper towels, clothing and more. For the 44 million people in the United States facing food insecurity, pantries can literally be a lifeline.

But that lifeline is at risk. Food pantries rely on donations, both from individuals and government programs, to stay stocked. Rising poverty levels and budget cuts mean that food pantries sometimes can’t meet the demands of their communities—and as a result, families go without.


No person should struggle for basic needs—which is why Land O’Lakes is teaming up with Clove in the name of comfort ahead of the 2025 holiday season.

Comfort, meet comfort.

A partnership between a farmer-owned cooperative and a modern footwear brand might seem like an unusual pairing. But the reality is that both organizations provide things that are enjoyable and much needed for American families.

You might be surprised to learn, for example, that dairy is one of the most requested but least-donated items at food banks around the nation. From a nutritional lens, dairy is a source of high-quality protein that provides 3 of 4 nutrients—calcium, potassium and vitamin D—that low-income households are at risk of missing from their diets.

But on a larger scale, dairy provides comfort. Items like butter, milk and cream are in high demand, particularly around the end of the year since so many families use these items for baking holiday treats. And while shoes can be stylish gifts, they’re also a basic necessity for hardworking frontline workers who provide care for others and spend hours on their feet. In fact, 96 million people in the U.S. spend their work shift standing.

"We are so excited to collaborate with Clove Shoes and take a moment to celebrate the color of the moment, but also our everyday favorite, butter yellow," said Heather Anfang, president of Land O'Lakes Dairy Foods. "As a company who shares our values of community, hard work and comfort, we are thrilled for the launch of their shoe but also for our shared donation to those in need in an important area for our two brands in Philadelphia."

Meaningful giving when people need it most

Together, the organizations have donated dozens of sneakers and more than 3,750 pounds of butter to Philabundance, one of the largest food banks in Philadelphia and part of Feeding America’s nationwide network of food banks, pantries, and meal programs. As they team up to donate needed supplies, they’re also helping families feel nourished—inside and out—ahead of the cold winter months.

"As a Philadelphia-based brand, we’re proud to give back to the community we call home—nourishing our city and supporting those who care every day," shares Jordyn Amoroso, Co-founder and CBO. Clove has also gifted 88 shoes to the students enrolled at Philabundance Community Kitchen: a free, life-changing workforce development program run by Philabundance.

At a time when so many are stretched thin and families are moving into the holiday season facing food insecurity, collaborations like these can provide an unexpected value—a chance to revitalize local communities, to nourish families, and show how comfort can take many different forms.

Learn more about this unexpected partnership here.

Health

12 photos of women before and after an orgasm shines a new light on women's sexual wellness

"We hope that everyone viewing this project will feel more confident about their bodies and sexuality."

Imagine if this kind of joy had a bigger place in the world.

You might recall Marcos Alberti's mega-viral "3 Glasses" project from 2016, in which he photographed people after they had consumed one, two, and then three glasses of wine. The series was impactful in part because it showed the physical transformation that comes from being relaxed after some wine. That, and it touched on a common curiosity. Haven’t we all wondered if we look as different as we feel after getting a little tipsy? (Spoiler alert: the answer is yes.)

Using a very similar format to “3 Glasses,” as well as the elements of lightheartedness, novelty, and rawness that made it so special, Alberti utilizes his photography to delve into a topic much less discussed: women’s sexual wellness.


The concept is simple: photograph women before, during, and after an orgasm. You can see why he calls this the “O” project.

Despite the subject matter, Alberti assures viewers that the intention wasn’t to be explicit, or even erotic, for that matter. The 20+ women who participated, of varying ethnicities and varying levels of sexually liberated versus conservative countries of origin, were completely covered below the waist while using personal massagers.

“The underlying message: all women deserve to be in control of their sexuality, no matter their background. Women should be free to be empowered by–and have a little fun with–their sexuality,” Alberti wrote on his website.

Similarly, Fan Yang, Global Brand Manager of Smile Makers (a sexual wellbeing brand that partnered with Alberti for this project) noted that the goal was to break through stigma and show female pleasure in a positive, healthy light. The hope is that not only society normalizes female pleasure, but that women themselves connect to their sexuality without “shame and secrecy.”

Given that all the women who participated were “in awe” seeing themselves “glowing and radiant” in their final photo, as Yang put it, it feels safe to say mission: accomplished.

Take a look:

marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com


marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com


marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com


marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com


marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com


marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com

marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com

marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com


marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com

marcos alberti, 3 glaas, big o, orgasm, sexual wellness, womens sexual wellness, personal massager, female pleasure An O Project participant. marcosalberti.com

In a video posted to YouTube, we get a behind-the-scenes look at Alberti’s process. Welcoming the models in, setting up his camera behind a curtain for privacy, talking them through the process, making them feel safe and comfortable, etc.

We also get to see the “awe” that Yang spoke of. It’s palpable.

“Initially, I was still apprehensive… [with] a lot of worry. And this one [referring to the final image] is like “Ha! Life is beautiful!” one woman shared, grinning ear-to-ear.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

We can talk ad nauseam about how women’s pleasure shouldn’t be a taboo subject, about how it’s a natural, vital part of her overall wellbeing, how it can lead to better mood, heart health, immune function, sleep, intimacy, self-esteem…yadda, yadda yadda…but there’s nothing like actually witnessing its semi-miraculous powers firsthand. It’s one of the things that make photography so powerful. We feel something raw and honest on a visceral level, so that we can THEN talk about it with empathy and understanding. It’s clear that Alberti knows this on a deep level and is using that knowledge for something truly good.

Be sure to follow Alberti (@marcos_alberti ) on Instagram to keep up-to-date with all his work.





Photo Credit: https://www.canva.com/photos

A Westie dog. A piano.

Meet Bradford. He's only 13 years old, and yet his grasp of music is savant-level distinguished. He is drawn to the most complex piano chords, particularly loving jazz of all kinds. He's extremely close to his family and especially supportive of his mom and her musical talents.

I might have buried the lede here—Bradford is actually a gorgeous, tiny dog.


For years, classically trained jazz singer and pianist Kara Baldus-Mehrmann (who often simply uses the last name Baldus) has been sharing clips of herself playing piano with Bradford on her lap in her home in the St. Louis area. A Westie mix, Bradford listens intently—his eyes closed tight, swaying to the songs when he's particularly moved. Sometimes when he's so deeply into the notes, he bounces along with them and buries his face into Baldus's chest.


Many agree that the duo are the perfect antidote to doom-scrolling. On Instagram alone, Baldus has over half a million followers who enjoy her thousands of posts.

But just recently, she went extra viral when the pair appeared on ABC News, where anchor Danny New describes Bradford as the "world's greatest 'vibe-ologist.'" Baldus explains, "He seems to react in real time to certain elements of the music, which is just wild." When asked, "How would you explain the squinting?" Baldus, while holding Bradford lovingly in her arms, answers, "Oh my gosh. The squinting is when he really just starts to feel the music."

Kara Baldus-Mehrmann and her dog Bradford groove to the music. www.youtube.com, ABC News

She further explains it all began during the 2020 pandemic, when she and her husband were home most of the time. "He would just stay there during my lessons, sit on my lap, and he would sit there for hours and hours." They then cut to a clip (which they mention was the first ever posted) of Bradford resting his tiny head on the piano while Baldus lightly played. He was so moved by the music, "he couldn't even lift his chin," New gleefully reports.

It's also noted, "For the record, Bradford is not the first to love a good piano nap. I brought you a story back in June about a cat in Croatia named Zlatko, who simply cannot stay awake when his parents start playing."

Cat in Croatia really enjoys the piano. www.youtube.com, WQAD News 8

ABC News also points out that celebrities have begun to take notice of Bradford's grooving. "Five-time Grammy Award winner SZA commenting in all caps, 'I LOVE BRADFORD.'" (Adding to that, Pixar Studios, Questlove, and many other famous accounts have loved and commented on the coolness of this super soulful canine.)

The news report also points out that Bradford still loves running in the park, but on especially anxious days, "like say in a half-hour TV interview…" They leave us hanging, while showing Baldus ask Bradford if he's doing alright. She then begins to play and he immediately settles into her groove. New leaves us with the knowledge that while "jazz does appear to be Bradford's favorite, he does react well to pop and soothing classical music, as well."

As one might imagine, the comments over the years are incredibly warm and supportive. One writes, "My heart bursts when I watch Bradford. He is such a beautiful soul." Another notices how much love Bradford has for his mom. "My goodness how he looks at you. This is what the world needs — thanks for sharing your beautiful relationship."

The link between dogs and music has been studied in great depth. I can personally attest that my hound dog mutt is especially partial to Americana folk music, particularly when the harmonica kicks in.

In a piece for Mental Floss, staff writer CaLea Johnson shares that yes, dogs do indeed respond to music, writing, "Researchers from the Sydney School of Veterinary Science examined nine studies of the effect of music on dogs in 2020. Their findings, published in the journal Animals, indicated that the classical genre soothed canines, as the pups exhibited calmer behaviors (i.e., lying down, resting, sitting, etc.) while the music played."

There are even playlists meant especially for anxious dogs with separation anxiety. (These don't usually include hard rock or metal, however.)

As for Bradford, whether it's being close to his "person" or just genuinely loving jazz, he's bringing delight to the world in a time where it's much needed. Groove on, little man.


Can you solve this "Wheel of Fortune" puzzle?

Watching a game show from the comfort of home is easy. Being on one is a totally different ball game. The lights, the cameras, the pressure. It's enough to make anyone's brain freeze up. And is there any game show that allows contestants to royally embarrass themselves on national TV quite like Wheel of Fortune? There’s always someone going viral for taking a big swing and missing on a phrase that seemed pretty apparent to the casual viewer. And when you take a big loss on a WOF word puzzle, there are a lot of folks shaking their heads at home. More than 8 million people watch the game show every night. Yikes.

One rather notorious of the wheel was Gishma Tabari from Encino, California, whose fantasy-inspired whiff of a common phrase back in 2023 earned her a lot of groans and some support from those who thought her imagination was inspiring. The 3-word puzzle read: “TH _ _ RITI _ S _ GR _ E,” and Tabari offered the answer, “The British Ogre.” The guess surprised host Pat Sajak, who responded, "Uh, no.” Tabari must have missed that there was a space between the R and the E in the puzzle, so ogre would have had to be spelled with 2 Rs.


She also probably wasn’t aware that England isn’t a place known for its ogres. The correct answer was: “The Critics Agree.”

The answer inspired a lot of activity on X, where people couldn’t believe someone could come up with such a fanciful answer to a puzzle with such a straightforward solution.







One person even created a lovely image of what could be the British Ogre.

Although…not everyone had a problem with the guess.

"OK, the puzzle was clearly THE CRITICS AGREE but to be honest I prefer THE BRITISH OGRE because the puzzles could use some more wacky originality sometimes.#WheelOfFortune"— Pasha Paterson (@zer0bandwidth) December 13, 2023

On the bright side, the incorrect guess is an opportunity for the world to learn that ogres aren’t a significant part of English folklore. Sure, there are characters in English myths and legends that have ogre-like qualities, such as Grendel from "Beowulf," the monstrous creature that terrorizes the mead hall of King Hrothgar. There’s also the Boggart, a mischievous spirit much like a hobgoblin and trolls, which appear in some English tales although they originate in Scandinavia.

If you’re looking for ogres in Europe, France is the best place to go.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

The word ogre is of French descent and comes from the name of the Etruscan god of the underworld, Orcus. Orcus is a large, ugly, bearded giant who enjoys consuming human flesh. Ogres are primarily known for eating children, which they believe will give them eternal life.

As for Wheel of Fortune, the show will undergo significant changes over the next few years. The show’s host, Pat Sajak, 76, stepped down from the show at the end of the 2024 season after hosting it for 41 years. In September 2024, radio host and “American Idol” emcee Ryan Seacrest took over the hosting spot.

Although, it was just announced that Sajak would be making a special guest appearance on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune, performing what he called "Final Spin."

And in case you're wondering how Tabari is doing: on her Instagram she wears her "Wheel of Fortune Flub Girl" title with pride, declaring she is "British Ogre for life."

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

This study is for the birds, literally.

Turns out, humans might not be the only species with brand loyalty. According to a new study, birds are just as particular about where they…well, leave their mark.

The study, from Alan’s Factory Outlet, set out to answer a question every car owner has quietly wondered: Do birds actually prefer certain cars to poop on?


After surveying 1,000 drivers, the answer was a resounding yes. And while there are a few caveats to this study, it still makes for some interesting conversation. Maybe not dinner party conversation, but conversation nonetheless.

Perhaps even more importantly—it stumbled on a surprisingly fascinating mix of biology, color theory, and bird behavior.

First off, the findings confirmed that a bird’s ability to “detect ultraviolet (UV) light” and “heightened vision” makes certain car colors stand out more in their environment. In particular, vehicles with “eye-catching” shades like brown, red, and black are often “prime targets” for getting blessed.

Here are the most poop-worthy colors:

  1. Brown
  2. Red
  3. Black
  4. Yellow/Orange
  5. Blue
  6. White
  7. Silver/Gray

As the site Carbuzz mentioned, the caveat to note here is that the results came from self-reporting. Since “bird mess doesn’t show up quite as easily” on lighter colored cars, the results could be skewed due to a bit of cam-poo-flage.

Regardless, the study found that the longer birds hang around a car, no matter the color, the more likely accidents are to happen.

Furthermore, shiny cars and reflective mirrors can also incite some damage since birds often mistake their own reflections for rivals, especially during mating season, and attack them repeatedly.

And when it comes to brands, Ram trucks, Jeeps, and Chevrolets top the list of bird favorites. Teslas and Audis, meanwhile, appear to be in the “less splattered” club (for now).

Most poop-on-able car brands, according to birds:

  1. Ram
  2. Jeep
  3. Chevrolet
  4. Nissan
  5. Dodge
  6. Kia
  7. Tesla
  8. Audi
  9. Ford
  10. Subaru

birds, pigeons, bird poop on car, cars, best cars, clean vehicle car wash, bird studies, keeping car clean Clip from Alfred Hitchcock's 'The Birds' media3.giphy.com

Interestingly, the roundup potentially points to something car folks will appreciate: size does, in fact, matter. As Carbuzz put it, the top choices tended to be pickup trucks, “which are bigger, meaning more surface area to poop on.” Cause who wants a tiny toilet? No one, that’s who.

Lastly, the results might be funny, but the impact isn’t always a laughing matter. The survey noted that nearly one in four Americans spend over $500 each year on car washes and repairs due to bird droppings. Fifty-eight percent even said their car has been pooped on more than once in the same day. That’s enough to make anyone feel personally victimized by nature.

While it might feel like an attack on human dignity, birds aren’t plotting against our paint jobs. They’re simply reacting to a landscape in the only way they know how. They can’t help it if they’re nature’s Jackson Pollocks, and our cars are irresistible canvases.

All you can really do is protect your finish, park under a covered area (not trees though!), and hope for the best. And next time you’re purchasing a new vehicle, consider a boring color.

A woman saying no.

Does telling someone "no" make you uncomfortable? Whether it’s turning someone down for a social engagement, a favor, or shutting down someone’s idea at the workplace? It’s difficult to reject someone’s idea or plan because you don’t want them to feel bad, and you also may feel the need to justify your decision.

What’s worse is when saying no makes us feel so uncomfortable that we get roped into attending social engagements that we don’t want to go to, or following someone’s bad idea at work that you know isn’t going to make a difference.


The good news is that Jefferson Fisher is here to show us how to say no in a kind way, without feeling the need to justify ourselves. Fisher is a personal injury attorney and communications expert who has become massively popular on Instagram—with over 6 million followers—for sharing tips “to help people argue less and talk more.”

What’s the wrong way to tell someone no?

@kencoleman

How to say no while also being kind. #no #kind #clarity

First, Fisher explains where many people get fouled up when telling someone no. They add a "but" to the statement that negates the positive idea they are trying to convey.

“Here's where it goes wrong, where you say thank you. You lead with gratitude first. Say, thank you, but. ‘Oh, I love to, that sounds so wonderful. But I can't,” Fisher explains. “It dismisses it. That puts it down. The word 'but' has a way of deleting what you just said before."

How to tell someone 'no' in a polite way without making excuses

Instead, Fisher said people should “flip it” by starting with the “no” and ending with gratitude. He says the way to say "no" to an invitation is to say, “I can’t. Thank you for inviting me...I’ve heard that’s a great place. Let me know how it is.”

The order in which you deliver the information is crucial if you don’t want to justify yourself. If you end with “I can’t,” people will assume you want to explain yourself and are more likely to ask for one. That can put you in the position of having to give a poorly considered excuse.

Fisher then adds a beautiful nugget of wisdom: you should be direct because “clarity is kind.”

@todayshow

#AmyPoehler says that she loves the #Scandinavian #CommunicationStyle, and #HodaKotb and #SavannahGuthrie agree that being direct is often the best way to go. #TODAYShow

What does 'clarity is kind' mean?

“Clear is kind, unclear is unkind” is a phrase popularized by Brené Brown that means being direct and honest with others—even when it's hard—is more compassionate than being unclear.

“Feeding people half-truths or bulls**t to make them feel better (which is almost always about making ourselves feel more comfortable) is unkind,” Brown writes. “Not getting clear with a colleague about your expectations because it feels too hard, yet holding them accountable or blaming them for not delivering is unkind. Talking about people rather than to them is unkind.”

Fisher’s advice is excellent for anyone who has ever felt bad about saying no to someone. There’s no reason to feel bad about turning down an invitation or being honest with someone at work. You do right by yourself and others when you focus on being clear and kind. Sometimes the kindest thing you can say is “no.”