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These are 7 things they don't tell you about living with PCOS.

It was a cold, dreary day during my freshman year of college when the doctor said life-changing words:

“You have PCOS," she said unemotionally as she scribbled words on her notepad.

It wasn’t exactly a surprise. My older sister was diagnosed a few years before too, and we’d both experienced the same symptoms leading up to the diagnosis. Still, it wasn't a thrilling thing to be told.

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) is a hormonal endocrine disorder that affects between 1 in 10 and 1 in 20 women of childbearing age. As many as 5 million women in the United States could be affected, and many cases are undiagnosed. PCOS can cause irregular periods, infertility issues, and drastic changes in appearance, including acne, facial hair, and weight gain.

Being a teenager was already frustrating, but then my health decided to throw that curve ball.

So what did I do? I started running — a lot. Running eventually became my physical and mental refuge. It was a way to release my anger at what I thought was an attack on my womanhood and a way to tone up the parts of my body I had control over.

I completed the San Francisco Rock n' Roll Half Marathon in April 2015. Image from the author, used with permission.

I also changed the way I ate, and I started trying to find a therapist who wouldn't break my bank account.

But the most decisive and important things I've learned, and am still learning, aren't the things my doctor told me during that first appointment. Instead, this illness has taught me about the nitty-gritty of struggling with chronic illness, the gross and empowering things that medical textbooks won't teach you.

Here are some of those lessons that I — and many who have struggled with chronic illnesses — have learned during the journey.

1. My weight doesn’t define me.

Weight dominates women’s magazines. And every day, we’re given information about weighing too much or too little and which bodies are real and which aren’t.

You know what body is real? Yours.

When I found out I had PCOS, I trained for a half marathon, started doing yoga, and changed my diet, thinking that I could slim down to the dream image of my body I had in my head.

Ultimately, I lost a total of five pounds in one year. It was underwhelming, but I felt better than I’d felt during most of my young adult life during that year. My body, while large, gets me to work every day, runs half marathons in different cities, and does some pretty cool things in between. I’ve learned to be grateful for it, at all of its various shapes and sizes.

2. Just because it makes others uncomfortable, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t discuss it.

A lot of people don’t know about PCOS, and most of them don’t want to know more.

PCOS looks pretty different for everyone, but some commonly involved are weight gain, depression, body hair, and infertility. And those aren’t exactly pleasant. Unfortunately, there isn’t a lot of science out there on how to properly address PCOS just yet, leading to it being commonly misdiagnosed.

When I tried talking about my disease publicly, people were disgusted by it, and I also felt like they didn’t understand how a syndrome like mine could change my life so much. But here’s the thing:

When I talked about PCOS with friends who I trusted, I was more relieved and encouraged. Allowing the people I loved to help me through my health issues made a huge difference, and I’m better for it.

3. I don't need to be a doormat for terrible dates.

I grew up being told that I was intelligent and beautiful (because encouraging parents rock), but PCOS took a bit of a toll on my confidence when it came to dating. And sometimes, when I was getting used to my syndrome, I let society’s standards of worth dictate how I responded to romantic partners.

If someone indicated they were attracted to me, I felt like I had to be grateful for their interest. In turn, I became a doormat for terrible dates, and I accepted the love I thought I deserved because I thought I should be happy with what I got.

I learned quickly, though, that this couldn’t be further from the truth. But it took some heartache, self-reflection, and real talk from friends and family to get there.

4. Infertility is a big issue, but there are options.

I know, I know. Infertility probably isn't something a normal 18-year-old thinks about. But I've always known that I wanted a family of my own one day.

The great thing is there are plenty of resources, scientific breakthroughs, and support systems for people who struggle with infertility. Over the years, I have slowly found other women with PCOS who want to have kids. They are finding their own ways forward, whether that's through medicine, adoption, or in vitro fertilization.

There are options. There are almost always options. You just have to look.

5. Depression does not own me.

Depression is a common symptom of PCOS, and there are days when it's incredibly hard for me to get out of bed.

There are times, all too often, when my life seems amazing on the surface, but I’m crumbling inside. But here’s the thing I've learned: I have power.

I have the power to do things I know will improve my mood, like running, spending time with friends, and going to therapy. I've slowly learned (and am still learning!) the importance of self-care and the reality that self-care looks different for everyone.

Having power doesn’t mean there won’t be difficult days, but it does mean that eventually, I can get through my issues.

6. I enjoy food, and I should keep on enjoying it.

I’m a southern-raised American. I love good food. Like shrimp and grits, and spaghetti, and gelato! I still enjoy all those things and more. Unfortunately, PCOS isn’t exactly a fan of those foods or of carbs or sugar in general.

So while I indulge every now and then, I also focus on balance, and on keeping things in moderation. It keeps my hormones — and my taste buds — pretty happy.

7. I am not PCOS.

I have a syndrome. A frustrating syndrome. A highly under-researched syndrome. I have trouble losing weight, I have facial hair, and I struggle with depression daily.

But I am still not that syndrome.

I’m a writer, a reader, a runner, a traveler, and a Harry Potter fanatic. I am a multilayered person who laughs and drinks and has fun. I sometimes talk too much, put my foot in my mouth, and make really goofy mistakes.

I do all those things because I'm Kayla, not PCOS. And that is the most valuable lesson of all.

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Joy

5 small things that made us smile this week

Your weekly cheat sheet to the best of the Internet

True


Life can be bleak, so we’re going to be celebrating the small joys while we can—whether that’s asweet snack that boosts your mood (courtesy of our friends atAll In), or a picture so incredibly goofy it restores your faith in the algorithm (even if only for a second). These momentary mood boosters are everywhere you look—you just have to be able to find them underneath all the noise. And that’s where we come in.

Consider this weekly web series your cheat sheet to the best of the Internet—not just random memes to make you laugh, but examples of people truly finding something extraordinary in the mundane. Each Friday we'll be delivering five pieces of media that allow you to stop for a second, take a breath, and feel just a little bit brighter among the daily stress. (Think of us as your chronically online bestie who knows exactly how to make you smile, exactly when you need it the most.)

Ready to smile? Here we go.

1. Unplanned triplets 

@murdockmultiples The first of many family reactions to our spontaneous triplet news! Telling my parents we were expecting spontaneous triplets 👶🏻👶🏻👶🏻 And yes my dad didn’t understand that “Baby B” meant twins at first 😂 #spontaneoustriplets #tripletreaction #triplets #murdockmultiples #murdocktriplets #surprisetriplets ♬ original sound - Murdock Multiples

Pregnancy reveals are always fun to watch, but this one is three times as exciting. In this viral TikTok clip, these new grandparents get exciting news when their adult daughter tells them she is pregnant with twins. But wait–there’s more. In what’s probably the shock of their lives, she then reveals that, on second glance, there’s a third baby in there. As in, spontaneous triplets. Three babies. Unplanned. Their reaction is both adorable and totally real: “I don’t even KNOW people with triplets!” Congrats, grandpa–you’re the people, now!

2. Little moments of morning joy

This week, the All In crew is polling people on the streets of New York City about small, everyday things in the morning that bring people joy, from gorgeous greenery to the early morning sun catching the light in just the right way. Just listening to these is making us feel super relaxed.

3. This teacher doing the absolute most for Pride Month

@joey_.veres Mr. Folnsbee the ally that you are @nadipowers @lanie @Fatty ♬ suono originale - 𝙎𝙊𝙁𝙏𝙇𝙔

Meet Mr. Folnsbee, a high school teacher from Horseheads, New York who’s taking Pride Month to the next level. In support of Pride Month (and, presumably, the LGBTQIA+ students at his high school), Folnsbee lets students bedazzle his head with rainbow gemstones—so much so that it looks like a giant, glittering Pride flag. Talk about setting a good example for the next generation!

4. The "goodnight" trend 

@sydsacks I’ve been cracking up at this trend so I made Peter call his besties to say goodnight 🤪 #goodnight #besties ♬ original sound - syd

Calling a friend and wishing them goodnight is a sweet gesture, right? What if the person you were calling was someone you haven’t spoken to in years, or someone with whom you’re just a casual acquaintance? That’s what people are doing in this new TikTok “prank,” and the results are so funny they’ll have you crying. They’re also so sweet, as the responses range from being confused but polite, to wanting to have a long conversation, to being genuinely concerned for the caller’s mental health. It might be a “prank,” but it definitely shows how much we all truly need human connection.

5. Spontaneous street singing

This could only happen in New York City. Instagram users @sabrinakvictor and @thecoryterrell — who were strangers before this video — shared a moment recently on a chance meeting in NYC when the two started singing the exact same song. Watch as the two of them vibe out to "Impossible" by James Arthur and try not to smile or sing along as you watch them (it's actually impossible). The joy here is actually contagious—and the harmonies are on point.

For even more “extra”-ordinary moments, come find us on social media (@upworthy) or on upworthy.com!

For scrumptious snacks that add an extra boost of joy to your day, be sure to check out All In.

Science

Frugal people share 30 things they stopped buying completely to save money

There's so much we buy and use simply out of habit.

Image via Canva

Frugal people open up about how they save money.

Saving money is never a bad thing. And for those looking for economical solutions for how to cut back on spending, a smart place to start is taking an inventory of your spending habits and what you buy.

In an online forum of frugal people, member TS1664 posed the question to fellow savvy financial members: "What’s something you stopped buying completely and don’t miss at all?"

They continued, "For me it’s paper towels. Switched to rags and microfiber cloths a year ago and haven’t looked back. I used to go through a roll a week without thinking, now I just toss the cloths in with regular laundry. Saves money and space."

And they ended the post with some more insight. "It made me realize how many things I was buying out of habit, not need. What things others have cut out completely that turned out to be no big deal or even better without. Could use some inspiration!"

The callout garnered some excellent real-life advice from frugal people. These are 30 things that thrifty people shared they stopped buying completely that helped save them money.

save money, saving money, money habits, money advice, savingMake It Rain Money GIF by A Little Late With Lilly SinghGiphy

"Dryer sheets." Super-Examination594

"Starbucks - bought an espresso machine, took some time to learn how to dial it in and pull a proper shot. It’s been 4+ Years and don’t miss it one bit." Fox_137

"Makeup! Used to wear it every day and buy tons of it to try new products and such. Now I only wear it for special occasions. It works great — even just a little bit of makeup really pops when you hardly ever wear any." VerschwendeMeineZeit

"Soda. Too expensive now. Pre-pandemic, sometimes Kroger would have a sale (4) 12-packs for $10." NotJimIrsay

"Cigarettes 😊." rickety_picket

bottled water, bottled waters, water, plastic water bottle, water martial arts water GIFGiphy

"Bottled water." WorriedPermission872

"Most fast food but especially McDonald's and bk. When I paid $20 for two adults' meals, it stopped making sense, and I'll cook better burgers and better sides fries at home for less." diegothengineer

"Cable tv subscription." nombreusuario

"Pizza delivery service. Frozen meals are just as unhealthy, but much cheaper." The_Keri2

"We started our pizza making journey by buying dough (under $2) at trader joe's. it really lowered the barrier to entry. once we kind of perfected the bake etc, we started playing with dough recipes until we found one we loved. it sounds painful but it was a good learning experience and fun to do together." suddenlymary

candles, candle, scented candle, buying candles, glass candlechristmas sniffs GIF by TargetGiphy

"I stopped buying scented candles. I used to grab them all the time on impulse, but they’re expensive, don’t last that long, and honestly gave me headaches half the time. Now I just open a window or boil some citrus peels with cloves if I want the place to smell nice." HollisWhitten

"Cigarettes and nicotine pouches! Been smoke free since august 2021 and pouch free since July 2024 :)." HueLord3000

"Amazon Prime. We stopped paying for the privilege of shopping and making money for Bozo. Now, we just put stuff in the cart until there is enough for free shipping. I don’t miss Prime, I never found anything on Prime video I wanted to watch once that wasn’t a rental. We live in a rural village, so online is cheaper than driving 25 to 50 miles to a store." cwsjr2323

lottery, lotto, lottery ticket, scratch off, scratch offsAnimation Scratch Off GIFGiphy

"Lottery tickets." evissamnoisis

"Hair color. I’ve embraced the gray!" phishinfordory

"I’ll add sandwich bread. I started making my own. It costs just over $1 for me to make a small loaf that’s just enough for the 2 of us for a week. Plus no additives or preservatives." BeerWench13TheOrig

"Books. I go to the library." Significant-Emu1855

library, library card, library book, books, readingDog Glasses GIF by County of Los AngelesGiphy

"Broth. Have an ongoing 'broth bag' going in the freezer. Once I run out of frozen broth cubes, I make another round." Colorfulplaid123

"New clothes from shops! I'm now a charity shop and Vinted gal, my clothes are so much better quality and I spend less." CorinaPhoto

"Bidet toilet seat is cheap, easy to install, much easier and faster to use, and most importantly will keep you far cleaner while not wasting any toilet paper." hopopo

"Menstrual products. Bought a menstrual cup back in 2016 and have not looked back." simply-misc

"Chip clips. I buy cheap old wooden clothespins! Works great and if they break, no biggie. It’s $2 for 24. I also use clear shower caps for dishes I have no lids for or it’s something that can’t have a lid, like deviled eggs. I use the shower caps. Much cheaper than those bowl covers they sell 8-12 in a pack for $1.25. Those bowl covers are kind of pricey and you get 1 large and 2 mediums and a bunch of tiny ones!!" Florida1974

alcohol, quit alcohol, drinks, pour out, drinkingPour One Out Malt Liquor GIFGiphy

"Alcohol." Fit_Artichoke_523

"Baked beans in the can, I literally keep everything on hand to make it so it was an excess purchase. Instant rice packs, I make regular rice, 20 minutes is not that long 😆 We keep getting gifted napkins but we don’t purchase them." Miss_Pouncealot

"Soap in a pump bottle. Switched to bars (Costco). So much value, less trash and plastic, and a better experience. Why did we invent pump bottle soap??" thebiglebowskiisfine



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Nature

Flies invading your home and trash this summer? These 3 pesticide-free tricks keep them away.

You can put away the fly swatter.

Photo credit: Canva

Keep flies out of your house and trash this summer with these tricks

Summertime is a time for outdoor activities: dinner on the grill, days at the beach, and water balloon fights in the front yard. But with warmer weather and more frequent trips outdoors comes a familiar summer annoyance–flies. No matter how careful you try to be, flies seem to always make their way into homes, trash cans, and cars. Flies love to buzz around wherever there's food and to clumsily bump into people, windows, and doors when they're getting shooed out of the house.

Ugly, sticky fly strips can help but accidentally walking into one is about as pleasant a wet sock sliding down your heel after an amusement park water ride. But there may be an easier way that doesn't require a rolled up newspaper and mental calculation on the velocity in which you'd need to swat a fly mid-air. Turns out you don't need an old fashioned fly swatter or harsh chemicals because there are pesticide-free ways to keep the pesky insects away.

flies; summer; summer pests; get rid of flies; keep flies out; insects; summer activities; summer funGrooming Bbc GIF by PBSGiphy

Let's face it, while adult flies are annoying, it's the larvae hatching in your trash can that makes you want to jump out of your skin. Successfully shooing the adults away will greatly reduce the likelihood of seeing their creepy crawly babies. One of the more time consuming but cost effective ways is to keep your trash cans clean and dry. Flies are attracted to decaying foods so tossing food into the trash quickly becomes a calling card for the unwelcome guests. You can also try:

1. Vinegar solution and baking soda clears flies hovering around outside trash bins

There's no rule that says you can't use the two products for your inside trash can, so do so if you're feeling ambitious. You may be thinking vinegar and baking soda will turn your trash can into a school science fair worthy volcanic explosion, but we aren't mixing the two. If you notice flies having family reunions around your trash can, it means they smell something deliciously gross in the making.

flies; summer; summer pests; get rid of flies; keep flies out; insects; summer activities; summer funTrash Can GIFGiphy

Grab an empty spray bottle, fill it up with water and some white vinegar, let it sit for 20 minutes and then use it to clean the trash can. After the solution dries, sprinkle around two cups of baking soda into the trash can and let it sit to neutralize the smells. You can add more baking soda every time you take out the trash to keep the odors from returning. To be extra cautious, use newspapers to line the bottom of your trashcan to help keep the moisture down, since flies love moisture and heat.

2. Certain essential oils makes flies find somewhere else to visit

There was a point in time where essential oils were suggested for just about everything with very little direction for use. Cough? Essential oils. Stomach bug? Essential oils. Exorcising demons? You've got it, essential oils. Ok, maybe that last one is a bit of an exaggeration, but it certainly seemed like essential oils were the cure-all for several years, but maybe those crunchy oil moms were onto something because it turns out essential oils can help deter flies from finding your home inviting.

flies; summer; summer pests; get rid of flies; keep flies out; insects; summer activities; summer funcalming essential oil bottle with flowers.Photo credit: Canva

Lavender, eucalyptus, bay leaves, cinnamon, peppermint, and clove oil can all be used to deter flies. You can add a few drops of the oil of your choice to cotton balls or pieces of cloth and place them in inconspicuous areas around the house. These oils can also be dropped into a spray bottle filled with water to spray around door frames, windows, sinks and trash cans. Clove oil specifically can be sprayed directly onto flies as a natural insecticide according to Lomi.

Note: certain essential oils shouldn't be used around certain pets and sensitive people. Here's more information on it, but also double check with your veterinarian about which oils are safe to use.

3. Grab a couple of fans to help circulate cool air and keep flies from buzzing around

Did you know that flies aren't strong flyers? Kind of weird since "fly" is literally their whole name. It's sort of like someone saying bumble bees aren't great at bumbling around. You'd think it's made up but it's not. Fly wings are very thin and fragile and, in comparison to the weight of your average housefly, it makes sense that a slightly strong gust of wind would be inconvenient for them.

flies; summer; summer pests; get rid of flies; keep flies out; insects; summer activities; summer funDog enjoying a cool breeze from the fan.Photo credit: Canva

This is terrible news for flies but fantastic news for humans who prefer a fly free environment that's also free of heat. During the warmer months, having a few tower fans to keep discretely near doors can cause enough of a flying hazard to keep flies searching for a more suitable environment. Kind of like how some grocery stores have that constant gust of air at the entrance of their stores. Feels good to people on a warm day but for practicality purposes, it keeps flying insects out. Replicate that at home for a fly-free summer.

Of course, if all else fails or you simply don't want to go with a more natural solution, there's always chemical sprays you can pick up at your local grocery store.

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Culture

Philosophy expert shares the 'simple but profound rule' to tell if someone is a good or bad person

It comes down to a specific type of kindness.

via Canva/Photos and G.Meiners/Wikimedia Commons

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe and a scene at a restaurant.

Have you ever met somebody new and wondered if they were a good person with a mischievous streak or a bad person who can turn on the charm and behave occasionally? Determining someone’s true moral character is important, especially if you start dating them or have a business relationship. It is crucial to get to the core of who they are and know whether they can be trusted.

Popular TikTok philosopher and Substack writer Juan de Medeiros recently shared a great way to determine whether someone is good or bad. His rubric for judging someone’s moral character comes from a quote commonly attributed to Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, a German poet, playwright, novelist, and intellectual known for works like Faust and The Sorrows of Young Werther.

How can you tell if someone is a good or a bad person?

“Here's a pretty good indicator that somebody is a bad person and vice versa, how you can spot a good one. And this goes back to a simple rule, a moral aphorism by Goethe in which he writes, ‘Never trust someone who is unkind to those who can do nothing for him,’” de Medeiros shared in a TikTok video with over 45,000 views.

“Never trust someone who is unkind to those who can do nothing for him,” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

@julianphilosophy

Good vs. bad #good #bad #wisdom

De Medeiros then provided real-world ways to determine whether the person you have questions about is good or bad. “A bad person is unfriendly to strangers, to the elderly, to children, to service staff, to anybody they're not trying to impress,” he said. At the same time, the good person treats people equally, no matter what they can do for him. They’re good for goodness sake, not to get anything out of it.

“A good person carries grace within them and shares it freely with abundance. A good person treats other people as they would like to be treated as well. And it doesn't matter who you are, it doesn't matter what your status is, they will treat you and see you as their equal,” de Medeiros said.


What is 'The Waiter Rule'?

Goethe’s quote echoes the common red/green flag test that many people have on dates. Sure, it's important if your date is courteous and treats you well on the date, but you really want to watch how they interact with the server. The rule is often called “The Waiter Rule,” outlined by William Swanson. Swanson, the former chairman and CEO of Raytheon Company, wrote in his book, 33 Unwritten Rules of Management, "A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter—or to others—is not a nice person." Boxer Muhammad Ali is also known for saying something similar: "I don't trust anyone who's nice to me but rude to the waiter. Because they would treat me the same way if I were in that position."


Rudeness toward the waitstaff also indicates that the person isn’t very smart. It’s not wise to be rude to someone who is in charge of your meal for the night.

Conversely, a good person is kind to others without looking for anything in return because they want to spread joy and believe that others deserve respect. You are what you do, not what you think or believe, and when someone treats others with goodness, it's a clear indicator of the type of person they are.

In the end, we are all a mixed bag of behaviors and attitudes, and even the most perfect of us has a devil on their shoulder telling them that it’s okay to occasionally get into a bit of mischief. However, when it comes down to determining someone's core character, how they treat those who can do nothing for them says everything.

This article originally appeared in April.

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Humor

5 generations competed to see who’s the funniest. Gen X won and some Boomers have complaints.

"Every generation thinks they are the funniest. They're all wrong."

Canva

A comedian sits on a stool and tells jokes.

Before anyone gets offended, of course there are hilarious people of every age in every generation. That's just a fact. But a lot of people are biased in believing that theirgeneration—from Alpha to Boomers—are definitively the funniest. The popular longtime web series Good Mythical Morningdecided to put it to the test by bringing a comedian from every generation to participate in a game show. A "joke-off," if you will.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Hosts Rhett McLaughlin and Link Neal welcome their guests, calling it the "laugh clash zone," and they immediately get to business. First we meet Adley Jones, representing Generation Alpha (born between 2010–2024). Next up is Teig, who announces he's Gen Z (b. 1997–2010). Then we have Jared Kassebaum in for the millennials (born 1981–1996). Next down the line is Amanda Cohen, who is Gen X (1965–1980). And last, but far from least, is Michael J. Carmichael, the baby boomer (1946–1964).

The way the game works is all of the comedians are given a topic of which they must write and tell a joke. It's a little more complicated, but for the purposes of "which gen wins joke contest"—we'll leave it at that. There's a small judging panel and a tiny studio audience, who mostly (frankly) seem bored, despite all of the comedians being adorably eager and funny. The topics the hosts can choose from are: AI, Trader Joe's, Disney adults, PDA, Cybertrucks, and "a wildcard joke."

comedy, laughing, audience, funny, genPeople in an audience laugh. Giphy GEICO

Rhett is asked to choose the first topic, because of course, "he's taller." He chooses Trader Joe's. The comics deliver their best "What's the deal with Trader Joe's?" material, and while they all offer some interesting points of view, it's decided that the audience and judges responded most favorably to the millennial. (He tells a fun joke about Trader Joe's requiring their employees to have dainty tattoos.)

But there's much more to come. Three more rounds, and the comedians start loosening up. Gen Alpha takes the AI round with her "incel" joke, while Gen X strongly wins in the Cybertruck category by spelling out the word d-bag. Lastly, the hosts choose "wildcard" for the final round, wherein the comedians can choose whatever material they want. Everyone brings their A-game, but "based on the loudest laughs in the room," Gen X takes it again. (Personally, I was partial to the Gen Z-er, but to each their own!)

@dailymail

Which GENERATION has the best humor?! #generationz #genalpha #millennial #newyork #nyc #interview #timessquarenyc

The comment section perfectly exemplifies how it's fun to support ALL generations in the name of comedy. One person notes of the Gen X-er, "Amanda was the best come-from-behind I've ever seen. I liked Teig and Jared a lot more at first but she ended up slaying me in the later rounds."

Another commenter points out how tough the crowd was, especially the young girl in the front. "It took Pokémon twerking to get that lil girl in the crowd to laugh."

Some admit that what they found the most humorous doesn't fit with their gen. "I'm 22 years old and realize I have boomer humor." Another confesses, "The incel joke was so unexpected I spit coffee onto my work monitor. That little girl wins the whole episode!" (Let's hope their work monitor didn't explode.)

In over one thousand comments, every single comic got lots of love and support, but Boomer Michael J. might just have gotten the most. "Michael J was robbed!! So underrated, he deserves more love than this!!"

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Of course, this is only one small group of comedians on one small day. For a larger sample size with more famous comedians, Netflix Is a Joke compiled their own "who said it better" montage. Safe to say they all brought their respective houses down. Bo Burnham, Mark Normand, Ronny Chieng, Christina P, Patton Oswalt, Nate Bargatze, Jordan Rock, Mae Martin, Iliza Shlesinger, Michelle Wolf, Tim Dillon, and Jo Koy all give their insight on generational humor—and it's top-notch.


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Humor

Gen X latchkey kids share their funniest and most frightening 'home alone' stories

"Did so much hitchhiking.... so stupid."

Image via Canva

Gen X 'latchkey kids' share funny stories about being left home alone.

Generation X, those born from 1985 to 1980, are also referred to as the "Latchkey Generation." Known as 'latchkey kids,' many Gen Xers grew up returning from school to an empty house due to working parents, and let themselves in with latchkeys. All that time home alone was filled with mischief, games and exploration that have become great tales.

On a Reddit forum primarily populated with Gen Xers, member @FloresPodcastCo asked fellow readers, "Tell Me Your Most 'This Could’ve Gone Really Bad' Latchkey Kid Moment."

They went on to share, "I’d love to hear how you almost died, blew something up, nearly burned down the house, sliced something off, barely escaped a swarm of African killer bees... whatever else probably wouldn't have happened if you hadn’t been left home alone at 9 years old."

Gen X has plenty of stories to share. These are 16 of the funniest, scariest, and most shocking 'home alone' latchkey kid stories they had to tell.

latchkey kids, latchkey kid, latchkey experience, kids 80s, kids 70slatchkey kids GIF by Dylan MorangGiphy

"I was about 11 (so this would’ve been around 1986), playing with my G.I. Joes and pretending that our entertainment console -- the one that held the TV and stereo -- was COBRA’s secret base. This console had those little silver tabs you could move around to adjust the height of the shelves. Well, one of those tabs was missing from the front of the shelf the TV sat on. Why it wasn’t missing from the back so the TV could rest against the wall, I’ll never know. You’d have to ask my mom. Anyway, I was kneeling in front of it, staging a full-on assault on COBRA, when -- either I bumped the shelf or something shifted (nearly 40 years later and I still don’t know what actually happened) -- the TV tipped forward and started to fall. I was strong enough to catch it, but not strong enough to set it down gently. So I fell straight back, landing on the floor with the TV balanced on my chest and stomach, arms wrapped around it in a death grip to keep it from crashing to the ground. And I just… stayed there. For probably an hour. Eventually, my mom came home from shopping with my little sister and found me like that. I was fully expecting to get the shit beat out of me (that's how punishments were doled out at our house), but she burst out laughing when she saw me laying there with the TV on my chest. That definitely saved me. We went to the hardware store later that week to pick up some replacement tabs for the shelf." —@FloresPodcastCo

"I’d forgotten my house keys and calling my parents was pretty much calling for a beating. So I climbed out on the ledge of the 11 story apartment building where we lived, shimmied to my room window and cracked the lock securing the grill, climbed in and went about my day. I was 12. F*cking stupid lucky f*ck." —@Exact-Estate7622

"I used to climb on anything; buildings, light poles, those huge electric transmission towers, rocks, mountains, etc. Also used to dig into dirt and sand banks and have small caves collapse on me. Jumped off the roof (once) with a sheet for a parachute (didn't work, broke shrub). Set house on fire (just the outside, put it out, sanded off charred bits). Set garage floor on fire, put it out, garage floor spalled and got all rough. Threw JARTs at my step-brother who threw them at me; JART scar on foot. Cut my own arms swinging around a sword I sharpened (was in my 20s). Broke open thermometers, played with mercury. Melted lead and poured into crude molds. Cut a power cord off of a lamp so I could plug it in and have power for experiments. Stuck needles and pins through my fingertips and under my finger nails (that really hurts). Practiced holding my palm over a candle to get used to the pain (like in Kung-Fu tv show)." —@Far_Winner5508

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"OMG, love this. We were at the Fontainebleau Miami beach and I was locked out of our room. There for a work convention so I figured if the neighbor (coworker of my parent) could let me in to their balcony I would simply hop down to our room and let myself back in to the room as we had left towels drying on the balcony. Should have been super easy to find our room, right????!! Nope, someone had pulled the towels in that we had drying. I walked in to the wrong room, interrupted er, adult activities and freaked a couple out. Lol, I don't even remember if I ever got to our room!" —@lisavfr

"Neighbor kids and my little brother were playing with gasoline and matches in the back yard. They started a small fire against the house and freaked out running home. I put the fire out with the hose and went back inside to play some Atari. 15 minutes later firemen knock on our door asking about the fire. 11 year old me looked them in the face, said 'I don't know what you're talking about' and closed the door. Our house was pretty shitty. We found out the hard way that touching our fridge and our stove at the same time sent electricity pulsing through you. So, for fun, we'd wait for someone to touch the fridge and grab them while holding the stove." —@mr_yuk

"My brother used to start fires with a magnifying glass. One day he was showing our younger cousin how it worked and the adults came home so he ran out to greet them and left little cuz to tend to the fire. Luckily yours truly could always spot when he was up to something so I quickly sussed it out and excitedly alerted the authorities. Did not work out how I was hoping as bro did not get into trouble but I sure got did, for snitching." —@mamapello

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"When we were 13-14 we used to go to this one kid’s house to do bong hits in the basement because his parents were never around. We quickly learned that if you were barefoot and touched the door handle of the old refrigerator you’d get lit up good. So naturally any new degenerate wanting to hang out with us had to grab the sodas. Of course only after being informed of the strict no shoes policy in the house. We really were assholes and it’s amazing how many of us survived." —@Smilneyes420

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"My sister was frying up some bacon for the first time. Caught fire. We remembered seeing that PSA with Hal Linden about putting a lid on the pan." —@ProStockJohnX

"Fell through the ice while exploring. I was walking on a frozen pond that a little creek ran into. Decided to check out the creek and wham! Fell through up to my chest. Was wearing heavy winter coat etc. I panicked a little bit but managed to climb my way out and onto ground. I walked back I don't know how far, shivering in frozen clothes. Made it home, stripped and curled up on top of the heat register. Shook me up." —@Practical-Bar8291

"Did so much hitchhiking.... so stupid."—@ CanadianBertRaccoon

hitchhike, hitchhiking, thumbs up, catch a ride, hitchhikerhitchhikeGiphy

"On the 4th of July, on my (now) wife's street, the neighbors all shot off fireworks. I found a bunch of older ones in my closet, so I brought them along. One of the Jumping Jacks went up and totally took off down the street. We laughed and thought nothing of it. Until a car drove by, stopped, backed up a bit, then drove forward to us and said, "Did you guys know that house's driveway is on fire?" We ran over and looked. The JJ landed in their big plastic trash barrel and ignited it. Thankfully, not their house. We doused the fire and took off (there were no cars in their driveway, so they weren't home). I'm guessing they came home to their melted trash bin and were like 'F*CKING KIDS! WHY WOULD THEY LIGHT OUR BARREL ON FIRE?'" —@mbadolato

"My parents were out doing something and my brother and I were playing hockey or basketball or something in the driveway. One of us needed to go inside for something so we were about to punch in the garage door code. Before doing so, I told him to grab the door handle and go for a ride. He never let go. Due to angles and whatnot he managed to get his head and shoulders stuck between the garage door and the frame. He just dangled there for a while."—@ coolguymiles

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"I would get random rides with people at the park where I got dropped off after school. They would take me to the convenient store to get drinks and snacks. No way I would let my kids if they did that now, lol." —@WiseAce1

"That time 10 year old me wanted to grill hamburgers outside but there was a storm. My solution was to put a small propane grill on top of the stove and turn on the exhaust fan. I thought I was a genius. Yeah. It was an electric stove and didn't vent to the outside. The house filled with smoke and every alarm went off. And I'm sure high levels of carbon monoxide too. The grill flared up like crazy and I damn near started a kitchen fire. The burgers sucked. And we didn't have hamburger buns. Only square wonder bread."—@thisfriggingguy

"street golf. we found a set of clubs and balls and, yeah...." —@BridgestoneX

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