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Heroes

These 7 women prove tackle football isn’t just for men.

They're students, nurses, project managers, foster care workers, lab managers, moms ... and professional badasses.

Miranda Munson is a deputy sheriff in Oklahoma. She’s also an international league football player.

The 36-year-old specializes in criminal investigations, focusing mainly on crimes that take place in Tulsa’s biggest jail, the David L. Moss Criminal Justice Center, which she describes as "a city within itself."

To unwind from her day job, she needs hobbies: the St. Louis Cardinals, her friends and family, her Belgian Malinois, and Baxy — an old partner from when she was on the K-9 unit.

And then she has football.

Munson and Erica Alford, an offensive guard. Photo via Miranda Munson, used with permission.

Munson is a football player for the Tulsa Threat — Oklahoma's only all-women tackle football team.

Yes, it’s tackle football. No, these women do not play in their lingerie.

Munson is among the more than two dozen women ages 18 to 40 on the Tulsa Threat, which has recently joined the Independent Women’s Football League.

Photo via Tulsa Threat, used with permission.

These women are students, registered nurses, project managers, foster care workers, lab managers, occupational therapist assistants, machinists, soldiers, moms, and accounting specialists.

Photo via Tulsa Threat, used with permission.

On the side, they — like hundreds of women across the nation — play their hearts out at the highest level of football women can play, all while virtually no one watches. This means the women often need to buy their own pads and cleats, pay their own way for travel games, and pitch in to help rent high school football fields for weekend games.

Photo via Tulsa Threat, used with permission.

Despite the challenges, women like Munson continue to play for a number of reasons — including the example they set for the next generation.

"It’s cool to show some of the young girls that there’s something for them to play when they’re older," Munson said. "And when you put those pads on, you feel like you have a responsibility to those young girls watching."

Photo via Tulsa Threat, used with permission.

Although they still have small followings, the fan base seems committed. According to the National Federation of State High School Associations, the number of young girls participating in high school tackle football saw about a 17% increase from 2007 to 2011, with 1,561 girls participating. While that growth rate seems to have stalled (the NFSHSA shows about the same number of female football players last year), it’s hard not to see women’s tackle football getting bigger and more popular in the coming years based on growth to date.

But at this point, there’s no real prospect to make a career out of it. So what’s the motivation?

This is why these seven women play football. (Hint: It’s not the money.)

1. Miranda Munson, Tulsa Threat (IWFL)

Photo via Miranda Munson, used with permission.

"I started because I had friends who played, and I grew up playing soccer. I missed playing on a team, and I wanted to learn something new and challenging. They practice for hours at a time, multiple days a week. They get sore, pull muscles, tear tendons, bleed, and break bones for this game and often still have to work and live their lives.

I have the utmost respect for not only my teammates, but any woman who puts pads and a helmet on and walks out on that field to do their part to further this sport. We also get to change the way little boys and girls see women's athletics. It's a wonderful feeling and worth the risk."

2. Callie Brownson, D.C. Divas (Women's Football Alliance)

Photo via Callie Brownson, used with permission.

"I will admit, in my first couple years, I played for myself and to fulfill my needs. But as I grew up and grew in the sport, I realized the doors that we could open for women and little girls. If I have a daughter someday, I don't want her to feel like in order to be a woman in sports, education, or in her career she has to exploit herself physically, but rather be judged by the person or athlete she truly is. Playing women's football has created that trail to blaze, where we have the opportunity to tweak society's views of a 'powerful female.' This is not a feminist movement or a 'men think they're better than women' movement — but rather an opportunity to seek equality."

Brownson, 26, is from Mount Vernon, Virginia, and has played six seasons with the D.C. Divas and one season with Team USA in Finland (which won a gold medal).

3. Mia Brickhouse, Boston Renegades (WFA)

Photo by Nadine Jehnich, used with permission.

"I’ve played tackle football for 13 years. I started playing when I was in law school at Villanova, as an outlet. I continue to play to set an example for those small girls like Sam Gordon, who may one day get the chance to play in high school and college. These days I’m co-owning because I know how tough it is to provide opportunities for women. I'm lending my professional experience to help out my passion."

Brickhouse, 36, is an attorney and former athletic administrator for the Big East Conference. She is currently the COO of Boston Women’s Football, LLC, and co-owner of the Boston Renegades.

4. Stephanie Jackson, Acadiana Zydeco (WFA)

Photo via Stephanie Jackson, used with permission.

"I play football because this is what I’ve been sent to Earth to do. It is my gift, and I love doing it. I love the contact, the camaraderie, the lessons to be taught. I love everything about the game of football. How a new ball feels, the smell of autumn, which means it’s football season, the sheer fact that football is the most complete team sport on the planet. I love it all.

These days, I play for the Acadiana Zydeco in Louisiana, and my goal is to bring women’s football to the world. One day, we will pack stadiums and people will pay good money to see us play. That day will come. It is inevitable, and I will be right in the midst of it all."

Jackson, 27, is from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, and is working on a masters in business administration at Louisiana State University. She currently works as a personal trainer.

5. Brittany Bushman, Dallas Elite (WFA)

Photo via Brittany Bushman, used with permission.

"Football is by far my favorite sport, but throughout my career, I have experienced pushback and adversity. For obvious reasons: I am female.

Constantly hearing those typical sayings: 'Girls don’t play football; it’s a man’s sport,' 'Girls are not physically capable of playing football,' 'Girls should be on the sideline in a skirt.' The criticisms go on and on.

But my women’s tackle football experience has been one of the most influential and remarkable endeavors of my life. Today, I’m surrounded by 50 empowered women, willing to sacrifice time, money, family, and jobs for the sport they love. We are making history, changing minds, and giving hope to a younger generation!"



Bushman currently plays for the Dallas Elite. She is a four-time All-American and was a member of Team USA in 2013. She is also an eighth-grade science teacher and an assistant coach for the varsity basketball team.

6. Ursula Johns, Arkansas Wildcats (WFA)

Photo via Ursula Johns (right), used with permission.

"It makes me feel great. Those five words have so much meaning behind them. Playing a game of football, no matter if I win or lose, makes me feel like I just hit a grand slam with the bases loaded. It makes me feel like there's three seconds on the clock and they just passed me the basketball. It makes me feel like I won the 100-meter dash by 0.001 seconds — the feeling is indescribable. I love to play because it gives me the feeling of being a part of something that's so much bigger than myself.

However, it does make me sad and a little bit discouraged that countless others and myself go out 10 Saturdays out of the year and play like there's no tomorrow only to hope and pray that someone watches."

Johns, 27, from Shelby, Mississippi, is a biological science aid for the U.S. Department of Agriculture. She lives two and a half hours away from where the Wildcats play but has said would never miss a game.

7. Jessica Collins, Tennessee Legacy (U.S. Women's Football League)

Photo via Jessica Collins, used with permission.

"You would never know how much fun it is getting hit or hitting somebody else until you get out there and play. There’s just something about putting on the pads, uniforms, and cleats that gets you excited. Another reason why I play is to show the boys that I can beat them playing their game. It gives me great satisfaction to beat them and gloat a little bit afterwards.

One of the biggest obstacles in women’s football is getting fans and getting our game out in public. Most people don't know that there are women teams around the country, even overseas.

I also play because I want to inspire younger girls that you can do anything you put your mind to. Don't let gender roles get in your way. Just be yourself and do what you feel in your heart. Don't let anybody tell you can't."



Collins, 26, is a detention officer and also a referee. This has been her third season with the Legacy. She also travels two and half hours from Mississippi to play in home games and go to practice.

Will the leagues catch on? It’s hard to say. But the effort matters.

Photo via Tulsa Threat, used with permission.

In our modern world of Abby Wambachs and Ronda Rouseys, surely women’s professional tackle football playing on ESPN isn’t so difficult to imagine?

Let’s hope these women can inspire a movement, or at least open people’s minds to the idea.

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A 6-year-old designed a custom t-shirt for his first day of school and it's seriously the best

Thank you, Blake, for bringing some much-needed sunshine into our day.

Unfading adornments

When 6-year-old Blake Rajahn shows up to his first grade classroom on Monday, he will arrive bearing an uplifting a message for his fellow students.

Blake's mother, Nikki Rajahn, runs a custom personalization business in Fayette County, Georgia, and she asked her son what kind of t-shirt he wanted for his first day of school. He could have chosen anything—his favorite sports star's number, a cool dragon, a witty saying—anything he wanted, she could make.

Blake chose something unexpected—an orange t-shirt with a simple, sweet message for the other kids at his school to see. Five little words that might just mean the world to someone who reads them.

"I will be your friend."

Ouch. My heart.

Rajahn shared the story on her business Facebook page:

"I have to brag on my son. I told him that as a back to school gift, I will make him any shirt he would like. It could have anything—a basketball theme, football, etc. which are all his favorites. He thought a while and said, 'will you please make me a shirt that says "I will be your friend" for all the kids who need a friend to know that I am here for them?' Never underestimate your kid's heart for others! I love my sweet Blake! #stopbullying"







Apparently, such a gesture is typical of Blake. "He has always had a heart for others and is very genuine," his mother told Upworthy. She said she's donating part of the proceeds of her t-shirt sales to the Real Life Center, a non-profit that helps families in need in Tyrone, Georgia, all because of Blake.

"During the summer we had a vacation Bible school that he went to," she said, "and they did a toothbrush and toothpaste drive for the Real Life Center. He came home saying we needed to go to the Dollar Store to get some that night. We told him we would go the next day, but he had to use his money for it. He said that was fine, so we asked how much he would like to spend. He said, 'It's for people who don't have any, right?' We said yes, so he very matter-of-fact said, 'Well all of it!' And he did!"

Rajahn said everyone has been very encouraging and people are starting to order their own version of the t-shirt with "#blakesfriends" added to it.

She also shared Blake's reaction to hearing that his shirt idea was starting to spread on Facebook—and again, it's just the sweetest darn thing.

"Ever since I posted about my son and his shirt, I have sold some and told Blake about it. He said, "Oh good! Now more and more people are going to have more and more friends!" He is just so flattered so many want to be his twin too 😊"

Sometimes all a person needs is one friend so they won't feel alone, and Blake going out of his way to make sure kids feel welcomed by him is an example even adults can learn from. If we all reached out to people who might be shy or who might feel excluded, and let them know in some small way that we are open to being friends, what a better world we could build.

Thank you, Blake, for bringing some much-needed sunshine into our day.


This article originally appeared on 8.2.19

bullying
Health

Myth-destroying therapist explains why it's 'loving' for couples to go to bed angry

Love isn't that simplistic.

via Polina Zimmerman

A couple arguing before bedtime.

Just about everyone who has been married has been told countless times by older, more experienced couples that one of the most essential rules is, “Don’t go to bed angry.” They swear it’s best for a relationship to hash out the disagreement before bed and ensure it’s resolved before anyone gets any shut-eye.

That advice makes a lot of sense. It’s hard to get to sleep after fighting with your significant other. The argument keeps playing over and over again in your head. You may be angry. You may be hurt. That’s a bad position to be in, if you need to get your 40 winks.

However, making a big problem solvable by the time we go to bed is like watching a big family problem get fixed in 23 minutes on a sitcom. It's just not realistic. Some issues deserve more thought and conversation.

Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a licensed clinical psychologist at The Family Institute at Northwestern University and a clinical assistant professor in the Department of Psychology at Northwestern University, recently made the case that it’s “loving” to go to bed angry in the caption of a myth-busting Instagram post.



Dr. Solomon is also the host of the “Reimagining Love Podcast,” where she challenges some of the questionable messages we’re given about love and relationships.

“I’ve been a couples therapist for over a quarter of a century and I’m here to remind you that it’s OK to go to bed mad,” she wrote in the caption of a viral Instagram post. She adds that it can be “loving” to go to bed angry under the following circumstances:

  • You’re exhausted.
  • You don’t have privacy.
  • You’ve been drinking or using drugs
  • It’s late and you’re talking in circles
  • One of both of you has a big day tomorrow
  • You have little kids who’ll be up at the ass crack of dawn needing pancakes
  • You’re at risk of saying or doing something that you’ll regret because you’re upset and exhausted

couple fight, go to bed angry, conflict resolutionA couple fighting before bed.via Sasint/Pixabay

However, she also shared 5 reasons when it’s not OK to go to bed angry:

  • Not every night, not even lots of nights.⁣
  • Not to prove a point.⁣
  • Not to get the upper hand.
  • Not to punish your partner
  • Not to show your partner what a jerk they are

Dr. Solomon says being tired makes us more likely to make extreme arguments and be more hostile than when we are well-rested. She believes that when couples go to bed angry, they should do so consciously with their partners by calling a “time out” on the argument and acknowledging the difficult situation.

“This is a really hard conversation,” or “I think we both feel pretty hurt and misunderstood,” you could say before tabling the discussion for the following day. You can also perform a loving gesture, such as getting your partner a glass of water or squeezing their foot before bed to let them know you are still safe.



Relationship myths such as “don’t go to bed angry” can become a real problem for couples who fail to live up to what’s seen as the relationship gold standard. When couples violate the relationship commandment and go to bed angry, they blame themselves when really, they’re not doing anything wrong. Conflict is natural. So is being tired.

That’s why Dr. Solomon’s myth-busting, Disney-did-us-wrong approach is so important.

"We grow up on this study stream of fairytales, song lyrics and romantic comedies that give us a view of love that is simplistic and unrealistic," says Dr. Solomon told Parade. "Then, when we bump into problems and challenges in our own lives, we end up feeling like we are the problem, rather than the myths being the problem."

cvouple fight, conflict resolution, relationshipsA couple fighting before bed.via RDNE Stock project/Pexels

Ultimately, relationships are complex, and myths such as “don’t go to bed angry” and the “happily ever after” story we’re told as children give us a false impression about what love and true partnership are all about. Then, when we fail to meet those expectations, we find fault in ourselves and our partners.

"Going to bed mad is painful enough on its own," Dr. Solomon says. "It feels lonely. It feels yucky. To add another layer of shame—[that] somehow this is wrong, I'm wrong, you're wrong, we're wrong—makes a hard thing harder."

Dr. Solomoan wants us all to realize that relationships are complex. So there’s nothing wrong with giving each other a break and sleeping on it for a night.


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Popular

Hospice nurse shares clue she uses to know if someone is dying 6 months before it happens

"Allow the body to be the guide."

via Sabinevanerp/Pixabay

An old woman holding a cane.

Death is the last great mystery that all of us face. We don’t know when we will go or can really be sure what comes next. So there’s understandably a lot of fear and uncertainty that most of us feel around death, whether we’re thinking about ourselves or a loved one.

That’s why Julie McFadden's work is so important. As a palliative care nurse in the Los Angeles area, who has seen over a hundred people die, her TikTok videos shed light on the process to make us all a bit more comfortable with the inevitable.

McFadden is also the author of the bestseller, “Nothing to Fear.”

The nurse’s experience helping people in their final stages has given her a unique perspective on the process. In a recent video, she shared how she can see the first symptoms that someone is going to die a natural death about 6 months before they finally do.

Interestingly, she can determine that someone only has half a year left to live when most of us have no idea they have entered the final stages of life.

@hospicenursejulie

Replying to @Mariah educating yourself about scary topics will help decrease fear. ✨Nothing to Fear ✨- my book- out june 11th #hospicenursejulie #hospicenurse #caregiversoftiktok #medicaltiktok #learnontiktok #nothingtofearbook

What are the symptoms of dying at the 6-month mark?

McFadden adds that people who are dying are usually placed in hospice care when the symptoms begin to appear around the 6-month mark.

"You will have very generalized symptoms. Those symptoms will usually be, one, you will be less social. So you'll be more introverted than extroverted," McFadden said. "Two, you will be sleeping a lot more. And three, you will be eating and drinking a lot less. Literally, everyone on hospice, I see this happen to."

heaven, clouds, ray of lightA Ray of light over a mountain. via PIxbay/Pexels



What are the symptoms of dying at the 3-month mark?

You are going to notice more debility,” McFadden continues. “They will be staying in their house most of the time. It's going to be difficult getting up and just going to the bathroom. Again, sleeping a lot more and eating and drinking a lot less.”

What are the symptoms of dying at the 1-month mark?

Something usually begins to happen in the final month of someone’s life. They start to believe they are in contact with others they have lost. It’s like they are there to make the dying person feel comfortable with their final transition.

"Usually around the one month mark is when people will start seeing 'the unseen', they have the visioning. They'll be seeing dead relatives, dead loved ones, dead pets, old friends who have died,” McFadden said. “Again, not everyone — but many, many people will start seeing these things at around one month."

heaven, death, trumpetAn angel with a trumpet.via PixaBay/Pexels

Angela Morrow, a registered nurse at Verywell Health, agrees that people in the final stage of life often hear from those who have passed before them. Morrow says we should refrain from correcting the patients when they share their stories of talking to people and pets who have died. "You might feel frustrated because you can't know for sure whether they're hallucinating, having a spiritual experience, or just getting confused. The uncertainty can be unsettling, but it's part of the process," Morrow writes.

At the end of the video, McFadden says that the most important factors palliative care nurses look at to determine the stage of death are eating, drinking and sleeping. “Most people, a few weeks out from death, will be sleeping more than they are awake. And they will be barely eating and barely drinking,” McFadden said.

i.giphy.com

In the end, hospice nurses “allow the body to be the guide” as they help their patients transition from life to death.

McFadden’s work has brought a lot of peace to her followers as they go through trying times. "My mom is in hospice right now and she’s currently, I think, hours or days from death. YourTikToks have helped me out tremendously," Deb wrote. "My grandma passed away in February, and she experienced all of this. this page brings me peace knowing everything she went through was natural," Jaida added.

"Thanks, Julie. I volunteer in a hospice end-of-life facility, and this helps educate the families. Your posts are wonderful," Grandma Nita wrote.

One of the things that makes death so scary is the number of unknowns surrounding the process. That’s why it’s so important that McFadden shares her stories of helping people to the next side. She shows that death is a natural process and that hospice nurses are here to help make the transition as peaceful as possible.

death
Family

Woman shares sweet exchange with 92-year-old grandpa who invited her over for 'sleepover'

“We can order food and watch a mystery show. Love, grandpa.”

Photo by Mark Farías on Unsplash
man in black suit jacket kissing woman in white sleeveless dress

Loneliness is one of the most dangerous health problems in the United States, although it’s seldom discussed. Psychology Today says loneliness has the same mortality risks as obesity, smoking, alcoholism and physical inactivity.

A meta-analysis from Brigham Young University found that social isolation may increase the risk of premature death by up to 50%. The problem with loneliness is that people suffer in silence and it afflicts the ones we don’t see.

A TikTok user who goes by the name Megan Elizabeth recently shared a touching story on social media about how her grandfather was feeling lonely so he reached out to her.

The story shows what can happen when one person is brave enough to confront their social isolation and the important role grandkids can play in their grandparents’ lives.

It started when Megan's grandpa texted her to ask if she'd like to come over for a sleepover. “I haven’t been feeling well and miss you. We can order food and watch a mystery show. Love, grandpa,” he wrote.

Megan was happy to go see him, so grandpa made a series of requests to make the sleepover a hit.

“Could you pick up applesauce? The cinnamon kind,” he asked. “And if you go somewhere with mash potatoes, I would like that because I have no teeth and can only eat soft things. Ha!”

He also wanted some strawberry ice cream for dessert. “Thank you. You are my favorite granddaughter,” he ended the conversation. Megan later noted that she’s his only granddaughter.

Megan came by with a big bag of food and some ice cream and the two hung out and watched his favorite black-and-white “mystery movies.”

When it was time for bed, grandpa hadn't forgotten how to put her to sleep. He got her a glass of water to put by the bed in case she got thirsty and left a flashlight on the nightstand just in case his 29-year-old granddaughter got scared.

The next morning, at 5:30 am, he watched her leave for work.

Grandfather and granddaughter grew up close to one another.

Megan lived with her grandparents when she was young while her parents saved up money for a house. When they bought one, it was right across the street.

“I am so lucky to have grown up with my grandpa and my grandma (rest in peace),” she wrote on Instagram. “I feel so happy. I am thankful for my grandpa and he will never understand how much love he truly has shown me. And more importantly, the love he showed my grandma while she was alive. I believe in love and loyalty because of this man. He is my hero,” she added.

Megan's time with her grandfather made her realize a valuable lesson about her life.

"I think one of the most important realizations I have had recently is that it’s important to live in the moment but it is important to live in the now with intent," she wrote on Instagram, "so that when you are 92, you look back and smile at all the people you loved, the memories you made and the life you chose to live."


This article originally appeared on 04.27.22

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Science

Incredible 'bird feeder' photos give a whole new perspective on our feathered friends

It's amazing the magic we can find in our own yards.

via Carla Rhodes

Two northern cardinals captured on Carla Rhodes' bird-feeder camera.

The pandemic has caused many people to reevaluate their surroundings. When you’re stuck at home more often than you’d like, you start to pay a lot more attention to what goes on in your own backyard.

This type of introspection inspired wildlife photographer Carla Rhodes to get a closer look at the furry friends that live near her home in the Catskill mountains of New York.

What she found was magical.

“The winter of 2020-2021 was particularly brutal to humankind. After months of enduring the Covid-19 pandemic, we were now collectively slogging through winter. As a result of being stuck at home, I focused on my immediate surroundings like never before,” Rhodes said in a statement.

Rhodes positioned a DSLR camera trap beneath her bird feeder to get an up-close glimpse of the wildlife that came to sample her delicious seeds.

The results are an incredible series of photos of birds and other woodland creatures from a vantage point most people never see. Rhodes calls her project, "Beneath the Bird Feeder."

The birdfeeder photos also gave a new glimpse into the behavior of several species of birds and rodents that call the Catskills home.

“As I got deeper into the project, intriguing observations emerged,” Rhodes says. “I noticed distinct repeat visitors such as a Dark-Eyed Junco with an overgrown beak, a deer mouse with a notched ear, and an irruption of Red-Breasted Nuthatches. Dark-Eyed Juncos always showed up at the crack of dawn and Northern Cardinals would always be the last visitor of the day as dusk turned into evening.”

Here are 15 of the most captivating photos that Rhodes captured from beneath her bird feeder.

1. Dark-eyed junco

via Carla Rhodes

"Often overlooked and considered drab ground-feeding birds, Dark-Eyed Juncos hold a special place in my heart due to their funny and curious behaviors. Every day they were first to arrive beneath the bird feeder," Rhodes says. "Dark-Eyed Juncos were one of the most frequent and curious subjects beneath the bird feeder."

2. Dark-eyed junco

via Carla Rhodes

3. Dark-eyed junco

via Carla Rhodes

4. Tufted titmouse

via Carla Rhodes

According to All About Birds, the tufted titmouse is "common in eastern deciduous forests and a frequent visitor to feeders."

5. Mourning dove

via Carla Rhodes

​"Observing Mourning Doves was a daily pleasure, especially when they gathered to form a clean-up crew beneath the bird feeder. Mourning doves are monogamous and possibly mate for life," Rhodes writes.

6. Mourning dove 

via Carla Rhodes

7.  Mourning doves

via Carla Rhodes

8. Blue jay

via Carla Rhodes

"Blue Jays are known for their intelligence and complex social systems with tight family bonds," All About Birds says. "Their fondness for acorns is credited with helping spread oak trees after the last glacial period."

9. Northern cardinal

via Carla Rhodes

"Northern Cardinals were always the last to show up beneath the bird feeder, shortly after dusk every evening," Rhodes writes.

10. Black-capped chickadee

via Carla Rhodes

"Little flocks of Black-capped Chickadees enliven the winter woods with their active behavior and their cheery-sounding chick-a-dee callnotes as they fly from tree to tree, often accompanied by an assortment of nuthatches, creepers, kinglets, and other birds," the Audubon field guide to North American birds says.

11. Black-capped chickadee

via Carla Rhodes

12. Eastern gray squirrel

via Carla Rhodes

Eastern gray squirrels are important members of forest ecosystems as they play a vital role in dispersing seeds.

 13. American red squirrel

via Carla Rhodes

The American red squirrel is known for its distinct bushy and dark red tail with hints of a white outline.

14. American red squirrel

via Carla Rhodes

15. Northern short-tailed shrew

via Carla Rhodes

If you see a northern short-tailed shrew, be careful. It's venomous and paralyzes its victims with poisonous saliva. In humans, a bite can cause swelling and intense pain.


This article originally appeared on 01.03.22

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