The Bristlecone Project: Men talk about sexual abuse as a child and how they're coping.

Bill Martin spent the first four years of his life in foster homes. He was adopted and then was sexually abused by multiple offenders.


All images from The Bristlecone Project, used with permission.

Like most victims of sexual abuse, he struggled with an inner voice that told him he was broken and damaged and would say, “Did you ask for any of this?” To which, he’d respond, “No, I didn’t ask for any of this. How can you?! SEVEN years old!”

He now finds solace in the ocean and in playing the piano.

Bill is part of a group called The Bristlecone Project that aims to tell the stories of men who survived sexual abuse as children and have come to a place where they can talk about it and help others heal.

The statistics are staggering — yes, staggering. I can use no better word to describe it.

According to the National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence, 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused before age 18. (And 1 in 4 girls, though this project is specifically about males.)

That's 21 million men who walk around with the shame and guilt of having been sexually abused as a child.

It’s sometimes harder for men to process their own abuse, especially when young, because it kind of touches on the concepts of maleness and masculinity that our society has foisted upon us. “If I were a real man, I would have fought them off!” is a frequent refrain that men who’ve been through it have been known to think.

The Bristlecone Project aims to let men who have been through childhood sexual abuse tell their stories on their own terms.

There’s already a sizable collection of photos and personal stories on the website, but the bigger goal is to create a series of short videos where these men express themselves, what they've lived through, and how they survive.

Powerful? Damned right.

Mark Godoy Jr. was abused at age 8 by an older cousin. He told his parents despite the abuser's threats, and fortunately, it ended.

He still retains some anger and self-blame from those days, however, and has channeled some of that into his art. He also speaks to high schools about his experiences, which helps him heal and provides an opportunity for those kids to begin healing.

Mark's story is exceptional. Many people don't come to terms with their abuse, which is why this project is so important.

Check out the Kickstarter for The Bristlecone Project.

The makers are seeking $50,000 to produce the videos and get them housed somewhere on the web where they can be accessible to everyone.

More in the clip below:

Finally, just know that this is hard stuff for anyone to process. If the stories or images above leave you feeling the need to talk to someone, go to 1in6.org, which is the organization making the videos, and you can get 24/7 online support.

And, as always, if you're feeling desperate or like you might be likely to harm yourself, there's also the suicide hotline at (800) 273-TALK (8255).

Family
Facebook / Mikhail Galin

Putting your pet in cargo during a flight isn't always safe. In 2016, the Department of Transportation reported a total of 26 pet deaths and 22 injuries on flights. Because conditions in cargo can be uncomfortable for animals, the Humane Society recommends taking your pet aboard when you fly, or just leaving it at home.

It's not surprising that one Russian man didn't want to put his overweight cat in cargo during an eight-hour flight from Moscow to Vladivostok. What is surprising is the great lengths he took to fly with his four-legged friend.

Russian airline Aeroflot allows pets to fly inside the plane's cabin, as long as the cat weighs under 17.6 pounds and stays in its carrier during the flight. When Mikhail Galin went to check in, he was told he couldn't fly with his four-year old cat, Viktor. Viktor weighed in at 22 pounds and would have to be relegated to cargo.

But Viktor was sick from their earlier flight from Riga, Latvia to Moscow. And besides, Viktor had been allowed to fly inside the cabin during that flight. The airline staff didn't even bother to make Viktor sit on the scales. Galin was unable to persuade staff to bring his fur baby on board.

"To all attempts to explain that the cat won't survive there on an 8-hour flight with the baggage and would haunt her in her nightmares for the rest of her life, she (the Aeroflot staff member) replied that there are rules," Galin wrote in a Facebook post translated from Russian.

Keep Reading Show less
popular
Photo by Kelvin Octa from Pexels

Newborn babies don't seem to do much beyond eating and pooping and, of course, hiccupping. A lot. Parenting advice on how to cure a baby's hiccups runs the whole gamut. It's recommended parents try everything from nursing to stop feeding the baby so much, from giving the baby gripe water to letting the hiccups play their course. But when your baby hiccups too much, you shouldn't freak out. There's a good reason why.

A new study published in Clinical Neurophysiology found that hiccups play an important role in a baby's development. Researchers from the University College London found 217 babies for their study, but only looked at 13 newborns with persistent hiccups. Ten of those babies hiccupped when they were awake, and three hiccupped during their "wriggly" sleep. We have no idea how the scientists got any work done with all that cuteness lying around.

Keep Reading Show less
popular
via The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon / YouTube

Actress Kristen Bell and "The Tonight Show" host Jimmy Fallon showed off their vocal and comedic chops on Tuesday night when the performed a medley of 17 Disney songs, spanning nine decades, in just five minutes.

The duo started with 1940's "When You Wish Upon a Star" and ended with 2013's "Let it Go" from "Frozen."

Bell will reprise her role as Anna in Disney's upcoming "Frozen 2."

Keep Reading Show less
popular

Ask almost any woman about a time a man said or did something sexually inappropriate to them, and she'll have a story or four to tell. According to a survey NPR published last year, 81% of women report having experienced sexual harassment, with verbal harassment being the most common. (By contrast, 43% of men report being sexually harassed. Naturally harassment toward anyone of any sex or gender is not okay, but women have been putting up with this ish unchecked for centuries.)

One form of verbal sexual harassment is the all too common sexist or sexual "joke." Ha ha ha, I'm going to say something explicit or demeaning about you and then we can all laugh about how hilarious it is. And I'll probably get away with it because you'll be too embarrassed to say anything, and if you do you'll be accused of being overly sensitive. Ha! Won't that be a hoot?

Keep Reading Show less
popular