She quit teaching, works at Costco, and has ‘never been happier.’ That says something.

Maggie Perkins’ viral videos and unique perspective have ignited the conversation around teacher attrition.

Teacher turned Costco employee talking to camera
Photo credit: Maggie Perkins/TikTokMaggie Perkins doesn't miss having a winter break.

Maggie Perkins loves teaching, loves teachers and loves students. In fact, she loves them so much that working on her Ph.D. in Educational Theory and Practice. Her research is focused on teacher attrition, examining why quality, experienced teachers quit the profession—something she understands all too well since she recently became one of them.

The former educator now works at Costco and she says she’s never been happier. Her migraines are gone. Her anxiety has improved. She sleeps through the night. As an entry-level employee, she makes less money than she did teaching, but not enough less to make a difference in her financial situation. She goes home from work happy at the end of the day.

Perkins has been sharing the contrast in working conditions between the classroom and Costco on her TikTok channel and it is eye-opening, to say the least.


To be fair, Costco is known for employee satisfaction. They take good care of their people with solid wages and benefits, and as a result, they have an impressive 94% retention rate for employees who stay longer than a year. That’s incredible for a retail business. And it’s not just about their comparatively generous compensation package. Perkins has shared in several of her videos how she feels respected and valued as an employee at Costco—far more than she did as a teacher working in various schools, teaching various grades in two different states.

People often assume that the biggest reason teachers quit is inadequate pay, but compensation is just one piece of the teacher exodus puzzle. Perkins makes it clear that teachers should definitely be paid more, but attrition isn’t just about money. It’s often a result of burnout caused by a multitude of factors, including lack of time and support to do the job they are trained to do, the twisted way the teaching profession is viewed and valued by society and the pile-on of additional duties teachers are assigned to do besides teaching.

@itsmaggieperkins

Today I was on Varner & Co with 🦊. This is the full segment. It feels short, but they managed to squeeze me in between a study about it cheese causes nightmares and the woke 👮‍♀️ adding pants to a root beer mascot. It was my pleasure to make a contribution. ♬ Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You) – Kelly Clarkson

Let’s look at the time element alone. Planning is a big part of teaching, especially if you’re trying to meet individual students’ learning needs, yet teachers are rarely given the amount of planning time they need. On top of that, the time they do have is often usurped by other things.

“Let’s say you have a fight in your classroom,” Perkins tells Upworthy. “Well, then you just lost 45 minutes of your planning because you’re going to have to be in the front office doing documentation, calling people. You just lose your day. There’s so many different ways to lose your whole day, and then you end up either taking work home or making hard choices about what to let go, like you’re juggling glass and rubber balls and you have to figure out which ones are glass and which ones are rubber. Like, what can you let drop?”

@itsmaggieperkins

Tonight when I walked out of work, I felt happy. I felt happy because I enjoyed my work, my coworkers and felt good about my job. When I was a teacher I only felt good leaving work *because I was leaving* the building. Yes, of course, there were *things* I enjoyed about the job, but being a teacher was so much more than teaching, and the anxiety inducing parts of the job were shredding me. Education as a whole is an environment of scarcity. From the resources to the ways teachers are treated. Costco is run in a way that operates from a place of generosity and genuine care. It’s amazing to me that a multi billion dollar company can exude this for its members and employees but the education system cannot. #formerteacher #teacherquittok #costcotiktok #retailworker #exteachertiktok #formerteacher #scarcitymindset #costcodoesitagain ♬ original sound – Maggie Perkins 🍉

A big misconception some people have about teaching is that it’s easier than other professions because you have long holiday breaks and summers off. Some even go so far as to use the word “cushy.” Plenty of teachers have refuted that notion, showing how many hours they actually work outside of official work hours or how they have to work two jobs to not be living paycheck to paycheck.

“If you’re coming at teachers being like, oh, you have a cushy job, then you work it,” says Perkins. “If you think it’s so soft and so cushy, it has so many amazing benefits, then come on over and work this job. More of us should be lining up for it.”

“But if we have a teacher shortage, how can it be that cushy of a job?” she adds. The reality is that people who have never worked in a classroom have no idea how relentless and stressful it can be on multiple levels, even when you love teaching and love your students.

Here Perkins describes what it was like working a 7-day shift during the holidays instead of having that cushy winter break:

@itsmaggieperkins

I used to be a teacher and now I work at Costco. This is my first year not having a winter break. I do not miss it at all. My pace of my work life now is so much better, I am not sick or exhausted like I used to be when I was a teacher. When I was a teacher I used my winter break basically to recover and go into the next semester of just surviving. fformerteachertteacherquittokccostcotiktokrretailworkereexteachertiktokccareertransitiont#teachersonbreak ♬ original sound – Maggie Perkins 🍉

Perkins points out that we don’t actually have a teacher shortage, but rather a teacher exodus. There are plenty of qualified, credentialed teachers who have simply given up trying to make the career they love actually sustainable.

Many people have put forth suggestions for various school reforms, but those who have seen the problems from the inside know they are layered, widespread, systemic and deeply ingrained. Perkins tells Upworthy she believes the school system needs a complete overhaul.

“I think we will be forced into it,” she says. “But I don’t think that’ll happen for at least 10 years. I think things are going to get much worse before they get better.”

@itsmaggieperkins

If you are new to this account, you should know that the issues I discuss are things I’ve experienced at several schools, grade levels and in different states. These are systemic issues, and are getting worse, not better. But, welcome, I suppose, and I hope you feel seen, known and appreciated because you are. #teachersoftiktok #formerteacher #teacherquittok #educatedexit #KAYKissCountdown #educationcrisis #teachershortage ♬ original sound – Maggie Perkins 🍉

She says focusing more on teachers and students would help alleviate some of the “crash and burn” she sees coming, or perhaps even help prevent it. But some major changes would have to take place for that to happen.

“A teacher who has six class periods with 35 students in them? That person cannot possibly deliver quality instruction to all of those students all day. And then have one planning period to grade, plan, et cetera. It’s just it’s impossible.”

She says reducing class sizes, increasing planning periods and eliminating extra duties such as carpool duty, hallway duty and other seemingly small things that chip away at a teacher’s time are immediate changes that can and should be made. But school administration is often more focused on testing, data, and resources than on what students and teachers themselves need to create a healthy, sustainable learning environment.

Then there’s the issue of how teachers are viewed. Outright disrespect is one thing teachers face, but even well-meaning people who think they are supporting teachers can contribute to the problem.

For instance, Perkins explained in a video that she doesn’t call teachers “heroes” anymore because it’s a loaded term that leads to a martyrdom mindset. After all, heroes fulfill the mission, no matter how hard it gets, right? Heroes are ready and willing to sacrifice it all for the cause. Most people who refer to teachers as “heroes” do so as a compliment, but when you really break down what that term means, it sets an expectation that teachers will do the job no matter how bad it gets, sacrificing themselves and their own well-being because their profession is a “noble” one. That’s not just unfair; it’s abusive.

@itsmaggieperkins

Teachers are called heros. Teaching is regarded as a noble profession, a higher calling. Teachers should be able to work in conditions that do not require heroic sacrifice. Teachers should be able to do their job in a normal way without suffering, sacrificing, defend for themselves etc. #teachersoftiktok #teacherquittok #teachersareheroes ♬ original sound – Maggie Perkins 🍉

“The thing that I most want to communicate in my videos is that teaching is not a ‘noble profession.’” Perkins tells Upworthy. “It’s a job, and people should be paid for the job that they do and respected for the work that they do, and that by attributing nobility to the profession, you assign to teachers this emotional labor of the whole culture, of the whole society.”

“When we do that, we add to them additional responsibility above and beyond their actual jobs,” she adds. “And then that allows people to degrade the profession by saying basically we pay you with emotion. Like we say, ‘You’re heroes!’ and we get in the cycle of praising them for what they do, and then gaslighting them for what they fall short on. But what they’re falling short on is stuff that was never their job in the first place.”

Perkins also wants teachers to know that they have transferable skills and that they don’t have to put up with a poor quality of life when they can find a higher one in a different profession.

“I see so many teachers like myself even feeling trapped or feeling limited, like teaching is the only thing we can do,” she says. “And then when they go into other professions, they’re wildly successful. They rise to the top in their career fields. They are good employees and they enjoy the quality of their life as well.”

“I want to communicate to teachers—you’re not stuck, you don’t have to be afraid, your quality of life matters, and it’s not selfish to transition your career, because a lot of teachers stay in it, too, because they don’t want to feel like they’re failing the students.”

To hear more of Perkins’ perspective on working at Costco and on what teaching can and should be, check out her TikTok channel @millennialmsfrizz.

  • Fifth-grade teacher explains why he thinks the classic kid’s book ‘Rainbow Fish’ isn’t great
    Photo credit: via AmazonThe cover of "Rainbow Fish."

    Few children’s books are as deeply ingrained into the collective millennial psyche as “Rainbow Fish.” In addition to selling a gazillion copies, Marcus Pfister’s 1992 classic has spawned counting books, board books of opposites, hand puppets, and sequels such as “Rainbow Fish to the Rescue!” and “Rainbow Fish Finds His Way.” What’s not to love about those oh-so sparkling rainbow scales and heartwarming lesson about how sharing leads to happiness far better than selfishness? Only, according to some…that’s not the story’s lesson. In fact, some believe that the book teaches all the wrong lessons.

    In a video posted to his TikTok, fifth-grade teacher Mr. Vương (a.k.a “America’s Favorite Teacher”) admitted that while the illustrations were, in fact, great, and the author probably had “good intentions”, he still didn’t like the story behind this award-winning classic. The Rainbow Fish took home the Christopher Award, the Bologna Book Fair Critici in Erba Prize, and the American Booksellers ABBY Award.

    For those who never read the book, or perhaps forgot, Vương explains that at the beginning, “Rainbow Fish is full of himself because when all the other fish wanted to play with him, he sort of swam past them and thought he was better. Then one of the fish asked for one of his scales, and he refuses.”

    The case against Rainbow Fish

    This is where Vương feels the book missed the mark, as it depicts drawing a boundary as a character flaw of Rainbow Fish (more on that later). He said, “In my opinion, I think he has the right to do that because he doesn’t have to give up part of himself or anybody.” The real flaw, Vương argues, “was that he was not humble.”

     

    Vương goes on to say that in the book, when Rainbow Fish said no, all the other fish decided not to play with him, which “made it more about how all the fish didn’t accept him because he didn’t give up his scales, rather than them responding to his stuck-up behavior.”

    Also in the book, the wise Octopus advises that Rainbow Fish overcome his pride and give up all but one of his scales to the other fish. He might no longer be the most beautiful fish in the sea, but he is finally happy. Thus, bringing in the moral of the story of sacrificing vanity for peace. “So he got acceptance…when he gave up parts of who he was…” Vương declares matter-of-factly.

    He’s not the only one with doubts

    Vương’s hot take seemed to resonate with a few other adults who thought the Rainbow Fish had lost its luster. “Rereading it as an adult now, it made me angry. Little fish has the audacity to ask for a shiny scale, Rainbow Fish says no, so little fish goes and bad mouths him to all the other fish so they all turn on him and only become his friends when he gives up a part of himself,” one viewer wrote.

    “I feel like the book had more of a ‘sharing is caring’ moral and just carried out the message in a weird way with the scales” another said. One person even quipped, “…and now I know where I learned to be a people pleaser from. Thanks FYP.”

    It’s worth noting that regardless of his own personal opinion of the book, Mr. Vương still uses it to “teach about how to think critically about themes.”

    Changing the narrative

    “I opened up with what the theme was and then I read the story without telling them my opinion,” he says. “Then the kids made all these connections themselves and some of them looked at it through the lens of, ‘Oh it’s selfishness.’ And some of them were like, ‘Wait, is he buying his friends?’”

     

    Not only that, but the class had “really good discussions” about transactional relationships, as well as dissecting what the author’s original intent might have been. They will also be creating their own alternate endings, “where the theme is not that you gotta, you know, pay for your friends,” as the last part of their assignment.

    While not everyone might share Vương’s opinions on this kid’s book, we can probably all agree on his stance that “just because it has an award-winning sticker on it, it does not make it top-notch.”

    This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

  • Teacher lists the 10 basic skills she says 3rd graders no longer have, and it’s eye-opening
    Photo credit: CanvaChildren with backpacks entering school, text overlay: "Many don’t know their parents’ names…”

    When elementary school teacher @mommy_n_zachy went on TikTok to talk about the skills her students struggle with, it wasn’t to shame anyone. It was an honest cry for help. Her short video, which has now been viewed nearly five million times, has sparked a wide conversation about what children are, and are not, prepared for when they walk into a classroom.

    In the clip, she listed 10 basic skills many of her 3rd graders couldn’t do. Some forgotten skills, like reading an analog clock, counting physical money, or writing in cursive, aren’t entirely surprising given how technology has shifted daily habits for all of us. Many adults rarely use cash, handwritten letters, or wall clocks themselves.

    But more troubling is the fact that many kids cannot memorize their parents’ phone numbers or their home address. Even more concerning, students often don’t know how to use a dictionary, follow multi-step directions, tie their shoes, remember their parents’ names, know where their family is from, or recall the year they were born. These are practical safety skills and developmental milestones that help children navigate the world with more independence.

    What makes the situation even harder, she shared, is that many students don’t seem very interested in learning these basics. For teachers, starting from scratch on so many foundational tasks makes an already demanding job even more difficult, especially when large classrooms and limited time already stretch their capacity.

    “We are going to do our part as teachers, but we just need a little help at home, please,” she said. “We are a community. We work together. So let’s set our kids up for success. … If y’all can help us out, we need to go back to basics.”

    Her words touched a nerve. While some commenters placed blame on schools, the broader conversation that emerged was about how essential it is for parents and teachers to work together. Many adults pointed out that families juggling financial pressures, work schedules, limited childcare, or lack of support may not always have the time or energy to reinforce these skills. Others noted that teachers, too, face resource shortages and systemic challenges. The consensus was that partnership, not blame, is what helps children most.

    Fortunately, the skills @mommy_n_zachy highlighted are very teachable at home with simple routines. Parents can practice phone numbers as a little song or rhyme. Reading clocks can become a daily guessing game. Counting coins while unloading groceries can turn into a mini challenge. Tying shoes can be practiced for a few minutes before leaving the house. Writing letters to grandparents, labeling drawings, or even copying short messages can build comfort with script. Asking children to complete two-step or three-step directions can strengthen their working memory and confidence. None of these activities require extra money or special materials. What they need most is repetition, patience, and a supportive adult by their side.

    teachers, elementary school, 3rd grade, basic skills, teaching basic skills, writing in cursive, education, learning
    Dad helps daughter with homework at table; mom reads in background. Photo credit: Canva

    If anything, her viral video reminded many people that children thrive when all the adults in their world take part in their learning. Small efforts made consistently can make a meaningful difference, both in the classroom and beyond.

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

  • High school teacher shares 6 student behaviors she ‘doesn’t care about’ and 3 she does
    https://www.tiktok.com/@ms.johnson.teachessA teacher admits to letting a lot of Gen Z behavior slide in her classroom. But not everything.
    ,

    High school teacher shares 6 student behaviors she ‘doesn’t care about’ and 3 she does

    “I had a kid eating a rotisserie chicken. I don’t care. He got his work done.”

    There are two kinds of teachers, and we’ve all had our fair share of both. There’s the “strict” teacher that rules with an iron fist, holds fast to classroom rules, and demands excellence. And then there’s the “cool” teacher that plays things a little looser, has fun with the kids, and finds creative ways to inspire them to learn.

    At least, that’s the way it used to be. More and more, there seems to be a new kind of educator that’s able to bring together the best of both worlds when teaching Gen Z.

    One such teacher is Katy Johnson, who has been sharing a behind-the-scenes look at her career as an educator for years on social media. She’s racked up nearly a million followers in the process.

    High school teacher goes viral

    In a recent TikTok, Johnson went viral after beginning: “Let’s talk about some things I simply do not care about as a high school teacher.”

    First up? Drinking and eating in class.

    “I don’t care,” she says in the video. “I do not care at all. Literally last week I had a kid eating a rotisserie chicken. Don’t care. He got his work done. Doesn’t bother me.”

    Next up: “Dress code. That is not my worry.”

    She adds that, unless it’s offensive, she will let almost anything go. “Girl, wear your crop top and your shorts, I don’t care.”

    Being a minute or two late to class, before instruction has begun

    Charging phones

    Sitting in assigned seats

    Talking in class

    Basically, Johnson says she doesn’t get bothered by behaviors unless they interrupt the classroom. She doesn’t want kids talking while she’s speaking, but doesn’t mind if they chat with friends while finishing assignments, for example. And she’d rather have a teen’s phone plugged into the wall, charging, than for them to be using it during class.

    @ms.johnson.teachess

    I have so many more… let me know if you want a part 2 #teacher #highschoolteacher #teachertok

    ♬ original sound – Katy Johnson

    The cool teacher? Not so fast

    15 million people viewed Johnson’s TikTok and many were quick to praise her relaxed approach:

    “see she gets it,” wrote one commenter

    “You should teach teachers,” added another.

    “Agree with this. Some teachers care so much about things that don’t matter and it ends up wasting so much time,” someone added.

    Multiple people chimed in with their suspicions that Ms. Johnson is likely every kid’s “favorite.”

    But lest anyone think she’s a pushover, Johnson followed up with another video. This time, she covered some eyebrow raising behaviors she’s surprisingly strict about:

    “I do have some things that I actually, really care about,” she says, starting with her no-nonsense bathroom policy.

    “I do not let kids leave my classroom during my lesson. No.” She adds that if it’s a true emergency, she’ll make an exception, but she’s had to repeat lessons one too many times to be any more lenient than that.

    Number two: No laptops in her math class.

    “I firmly believe that math is best taught with pen and paper. We do not use Chromebooks. I care about that a lot,” she says.

    The next is, in a surprise twist, phone usage. She says she does not allow students to use their phones at all during class, and even locks them away during instruction time. The only exception is, of course, that she will allow students to charge their devices as long as they’re not using them.

    “Oh so she is a normal teacher after all,” wrote one disappointed commenter.

    @ms.johnson.teachess

    Replying to @Kiaha gilbert the #1 think I care about is THEM!! & their learning!!!! I don’t have a lot of rules, but the rules I have, I expect them to follow #teacher #teachertok #highschoolteacher

    ♬ original sound – Katy Johnson


    The series was so popular that Johnson followed it up with a part two with more things that “doesn’t care about,” including kids listening to music with one AirPod in and turning in work late.

    “If you got your work done… I do not care what the kids do as long as they stay in this room and stay respectful.”

    @ms.johnson.teachess

    Replying to @user7510982892402 basically if you get your work done & stay respectful… I am happy #teacher #teachertok #highschoolteacher

    ♬ original sound – Katy Johnson

    A unique approach to teaching Gen Z

    Traditionalists would probably say Ms. Johnson is far too permissive with when it comes to teaching Gen Z students. Eating messy meals? Drinking Starbucks? Straying from their assigned seats whenever they feel like it?

    However, it’s the teachers who are willing to think outside the box that are seeing the best results with Gen Z. They’re a generation that spent a good chunk of their most formative years in COVID lockdown learning on laptop screens. They’re the first generation to have the kind of access to cell phones and social media that teens have today. And they’re at the bleeding edge of an age where AI can do all of your work for you even faster than a Google search.

    Keeping them engaged in the learning process is key, and it’s a battle. Crucially, Johnson’s classroom rules challenge kids in the ways that really matter. Being accountable to themselves and others, finishing their work independently, and having the autonomy to succeed or fail based on their own merit.

    Johnson may have left one thing off her list, however. She does care about her students, deeply. That much is obvoius.

  • 10 uncommon words that perfectly capture feelings that feel impossible to explain
    Photo credit: CanvaA woman looks out a window.
    ,

    10 uncommon words that perfectly capture feelings that feel impossible to explain

    When we have words for a feeling, it becomes easier to understand.

    Sometimes, explaining exactly how you feel can be hard. Sure, basic emotions like happy, sad, or angry are easy to name. But pinpointing the exact word for certain complex human emotions can be difficult. (And often, there isn’t an English word to convey those feelings.)

    But those with an expanded vocabulary (or access to a dictionary) can often procure uncommon words for these emotions, helping them feel more emotionally intelligent.

    On Reddit, people shared 10 of their favorite rare words that describe hard-to-explain feelings.

    Sonder

    “‘Sonder’ meaning the sudden realization that every random stranger you pass has a life as complex and messy as your own.” – ownaword

    Merriam-Webster defines sonder as “the realization and understanding that all other people have lives as complex as one’s own.”

    Sonder also has an interesting origin story. “The word was introduced by American author John Koenig in The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, a collection of words coined to describe feelings, emotional states, etc., for which the English language seems to lack a current word,” Merriam-Webster notes. “The dictionary was initiated as a website in 2009 and became a printed book in 2021.”

    Ennui

    “Ennui’s pretty well known, but not to everyone I guess. Ennui (pronounced ahn-WEE) is a noun defining a deep feeling of weariness, dissatisfaction, or listlessness caused by boredom or a lack of interest. It is more profound than simple boredom, often carrying an existential, ‘world-weary’ tone. Common synonyms include tedium, languor, apathy, and melancholy.” – nworbleinad

    Merriam-Webster defines ennui as a “feeling of weariness and dissatisfaction; boredom.”

    Eudaimonia

    “Eudaimonia – much deeper than the usually given surface definition of happiness or well-being, philosophically speaking it means the deep and persistent feeling of flourishing because you are living in accord with the true nature of your being, or that you are in alignment with your true purpose.” – TurangaLeela80

    Merriam-Webster defines eudaimonia as “well-being; happiness. Aristotelianism: a life of activity governed by reason.”

    Encyclopaedia Britannica expands on eudaimonia in reference to philosopher Aristotle, who wrote two ethical treatises (Nicomachean Ethics and Eudemian Ethics) that explore the concept: “For Aristotle, eudaimonia is the highest human good, the only human good that is desirable for its own sake (as an end in itself) rather than for the sake of something else (as a means toward some other end).”

    Frisson

    “I wasn’t aware of the term ‘frisson’ until very recently, but now it comes to mind all the time when I have the experience. It refers to the aesthetic chills one can get from some external stimuli that’s deeply stirring and pleasurable. I most often experience it during masterful solo musical performances.” – common_grounder

    Merriam-Webster defines frisson as “a sudden strong feeling or emotion.”

    Piquancy

    “Piquancy – the quality of being pleasantly stimulating or exciting.” – Putrid_Rock5526

    Merriam-Webster defines piquancy (the quality or state of being piquant) as “agreeably stimulating to the taste, especially: having a pleasantly pungent, sharp, or spicy taste; engagingly provocative or stimulating, having a lively and often mischievous charm.”

    Weltschmerz

    “Weltschmerz (Welt = world + Schmerz = pain) — the sadness and discouragement you feel when you look at the state of the world and it falls painfully short of how you wish it was.” – canarialdisease

    Merriam-Webster defines weltschmerz as “mental depression or apathy caused by comparison of the actual state of the world with an ideal state; a mood of sentimental sadness.”

    Weltschmerz first appeared in 1827. “The word weltschmerz initially came into being as a by-product of the European Romanticism movement of the late 18th and early 19th centuries,” Merriam-Webster explains. “A combining of the German words for ‘world’ (Welt) and ‘pain’ (Schmerz), weltschmerz aptly captures the melancholy and pessimism that often characterized the artistic expressions of the era.”

    @donhuely

    The Daily Word: Weltschmerz Definition: (noun) A weary or pessimistic feeling about life; an apathetic or vaguely yearning attitude. Sorrow that one feels and accepts as one’s necessary portion in life; sentimental pessimism. Performed by: Don Huely Written by: Don Huely with ChatGPT Edited by: Dougie McFallendar Physical and psychological therapist to Don Huely: Fergus O’Shaughnessy Music: Piano Concerto No. 2 in C Minor by Sergei Rachmaninoff & Fanfare for the Common Man by Aaron Copland #huely #wordoftheday #thedailyword #Dougie69mf #fergusOshay #Rachmaninoff #Weltschmerz #Copland @fergusoshay @dougie69mf

    ♬ original sound – Don Huely – Don Huely

    Anhedonia

    “Anhedonia: The inability to experience pleasure or a loss of interest or satisfaction in previously enjoyable activities.” – adulting4kids

    Merriam-Webster defines anhedonia as “a psychological condition characterized by inability to experience pleasure in normally pleasurable acts.”

    Numinous

    “Numinous: Describing an experience that is both awe-inspiring and spiritual.” – adulting4kids

    Merriam-Webster defines numinous as “supernatural, mysterious; filled with a sense of the presence of divinity; appealing to the higher emotions or to the aesthetic sense.”

    Torpor

    “Torpor: A state of physical or mental inactivity, lethargy, or apathy.” – adulting4kids

    Merriam-Webster defines torpor as “a state of mental and motor inactivity with partial or total insensibility; a state of lowered physiological activity typically characterized by reduced metabolism, heart rate, respiration, and body temperature that occurs in varying degrees especially in hibernating and estivating animals. Apathy, dullness.”

    Lachrymose

    “Lachrymose: Inclined to weep or cry easily, often describing a melancholic or tearful mood.” – adulting4kids

    Merriam-Webster defines lachrymose as “given to tears or weeping, tearful; tending to cause tears, mournful.”

  • One simple word makes children 30% more likely to cooperate. It works on adults, too.
    ,

    One simple word makes children 30% more likely to cooperate. It works on adults, too.

    Human psychology really isn’t that complicated, if you think about it.

    Human psychology really isn’t that complicated, if you think about it. Everybody wants to see themselves in a positive light. That’s the key to understanding Jonah Berger’s simple tactic that makes people 30% more likely to do what you ask. Berger is a marketing professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania and the bestselling author of “Magic Words: What to Say to Get Your Way.”

    Berger explained the technique using a Stanford University study involving preschoolers. The researchers messed up a classroom and made two similar requests to groups of 5-year-olds to help clean up.

    One group was asked, “Can you help clean?” The other was asked, “Can you be a helper and clean up?” The kids who were asked if they wanted to be a “helper” were 30% more likely to want to clean the classroom. The children weren’t interested in cleaning but wanted to be known as “helpers.”

     

    Berger calls the reframing of the question as turning actions into identities.

    “It comes down to the difference between actions and identities. We all want to see ourselves as smart and competent and intelligent in a variety of different things,” Berger told Big Think. “But rather than describing someone as hardworking, describing them as a hard worker will make that trait seem more persistent and more likely to last. Rather than asking people to lead more, tell them, ‘Can you be a leader?’ Rather than asking them to innovate, can you ask them to ‘Be an innovator’? By turning actions into identities, you can make people a lot more likely to engage in those desired actions.”

    Berger says that learning to reframe requests to appeal to people’s identities will make you more persuasive.

    “Framing actions as opportunities to claim desired identities will make people more likely to do them,” Berger tells CNBC Make It. “If voting becomes an opportunity to show myself and others that I am a voter, I’m more likely to do it.”

    This technique doesn’t just work because people want to see themselves in a positive light. It also works for the opposite. People also want to avoid seeing themselves being portrayed negatively.

    “Cheating is bad, but being a cheater is worse. Losing is bad, being a loser is worse,” Berger says.

    The same tactic can also be used to persuade ourselves to change our self-concept. Saying you like to cook is one thing, but calling yourself a chef is an identity. “I’m a runner. I’m a straight-A student. We tell little kids, ‘You don’t just read, you’re a reader,’” Berger says. “You do these things because that’s the identity you hold.”

    Berger’s work shows how important it is to hone our communication skills. By simply changing one word, we can get people to comply with our requests more effectively. But, as Berger says, words are magic and we have to use them skillfully. “We think individual words don’t really matter that much. That’s a mistake,” says Berger. “You could have excellent ideas, but excellent ideas aren’t necessarily going to get people to listen to you.”

     

    This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

  • Mortified teacher accidentally called a student ‘sweetie,’ and folks swooped in to fix the damage
    Photo credit: CanvaA woman looks embarrassed in her classroom.

    Sometimes when we interact with people, we can fall into autopilot mode and say something we don’t mean. Case in point: when someone accidentally ends a professional call with “I love you,” as if they were talking to a spouse, instead of a formal goodbye—or when a student accidentally refers to their teacher as “mom.”

    The reason we sometimes feel like we’ve “zoned out” or acted without conscious effort is a psychological phenomenon known as automaticity. Automaticity can be very helpful when we’re doing complex tasks like catching a football or when we’re doing things that shouldn’t require much mental energy, such as brushing our teeth. However, when we’re on autopilot, we sometimes say silly things, and this teacher is a perfect example.

    woman slaps forehead, upset woman, embarrassed woman, woman green sweatshirt, facepalm
    A woman slapping her forehead. Photo credit: Canva

    A teacher’s incredibly embarrassing moment

    “I’m a high school teacher (44, been doing this for like 15 years) and today during 6th period, I was helping this kid, let’s call him Marcus, with a geometry proof,” the teacher explained in a now-deleted Reddit post. “He was really trying, you know? Had his pencil behind his ear, kept erasing, the whole thing. And when he finally got it, I just… I said, ‘There you go, sweetie!’”

    “The room went *silent*. Like that record-scratch moment you see in movies, except it was real and happening to my actual life,” the teacher explained. “Marcus just stared at me. I tried to recover with ‘I mean… good job, Marcus,’ but the damage was done. By the time the bell rang, I could hear them already talking about it in the hallway.”

    students, laughing students, high school, hallway, teenagers
    Students laughing. Photo credit: Canva

    Why did the teacher call the student “sweetie”?

    The teacher has a 12-year-old daughter they call “sweetie” approximately 600 times a day, so, of course, it was bound to slip out at some point. This time, it just happened to be to Marcus in geometry class. After the school day, the teacher was fraught with questions: “Do these things just blow over? Will Marcus ever make eye contact with me again?”

    The post received some funny responses and genuine encouragement.

    “It’s good to see there’s a teacher version of calling the teacher mom,” a commenter wrote.

    “I once called my English teacher Dad in an otherwise silent classroom. He was only 24, a strawberry blond, and he blushed,” another added.

    One commenter thought the teacher should take the Curb Your Enthusiasm approach:

    “Double down. Call more kids ‘sweetie.’ Now it’s normalized, and you haven’t humiliated just Marcus (or yourself). There’s a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode about this! Richard Lewis hits his new gf with a premature ‘honey’ and then predictably spirals when she’s weirded out and tries to overcompensate by calling everyone he sees ‘honey’ in front of her.”

    Finally, a lot of folks told the teacher everything would blow over

    “It will blow over,” a commenter wrote. “I don’t know where you’re from, but calling people little things like that is common everywhere, as far as I know. If a cashier said ‘thanks sweetie’ to me or something I would think literally nothing of it. Seems an overreaction from them. If one of them accidentally called you mum, they would get some banter for it, and then it would be forgotten about. Happens to us all!”

    The teacher’s story is a great reminder that we all go on autopilot sometimes and slip up, and there’s no need to feel too bad about it. But just be careful what you call your loved ones at home. It may be the next thing you call a coworker.

  • Millennial history teacher explains the 3 phases of Gen X and why they were ‘forgotten’
    Photo credit: via Canva/PhotosA cassette tape from the '80s.

    Generation X occupies an interesting time in history, for those who care to recognize that they actually exist. They were born between 1965 and 1980 and came into this world at an interesting inflection point: women were becoming a larger part of the workplace and divorce was at the highest point in history. This left Gen X to be the least parented generation in recent history.

    Gen X was overlooked in their domestic lives and culturally were overshadowed by Baby Boomers with their overpowering nostalgia for Woodstock, The Beatles, and every cultural moment celebrated in Forest Gump. Once Boomer navel-gazing nostalgia began to wane, a much larger and over-parented generation, the Millennials, came on the scene.

    “Whereas Boomers were the ‘me generation’ and millennials were the ‘me me me generation,’ Gen X has become the ‘meh’ generation,” Emily Stewart writes at Business Insider. But even if Gen X is a little aloof, that doesn’t mean they aren’t totally rad, awesome, trippindicular, and that it’d be bogus to define them any other way. To explain the unique history of Gen X and why they’re often overlooked, history teacher Lauren Cella created a timeline on TikTok to explain them to her Gen Z students.

    @laurencella92

    A love letter to Gen X from your millennial cousin? Gen X didn’t start the fire, so after this I will just leave them alone because they do not care ? But seriously for a generation that sometimes gets “forgotten” and stuck between the larger boomer or millennial cohorts, the genres they created paved the way for pop culture as we know it. I’m still not sure who let kids watch “The Day After” on TV or play on those hot metal playgrounds, but Gen X survived to tell the tale. Today, the so called “latchkey” kids, born 1965-1980 are actually super involved as parents, aunts, uncles, teachers (or maybe even grandparents)?. Kids today want to say they are “built different” but I think Gen X is the one holding down that title because they grew up tough, they saw too much, they made it out, and they know exactly who they are and wouldn’t have it any other way.✌️ g#genx

    ♬ original sound – laurencella

    In Cella’s video, she divides Gen X into three distinct phases.

    Phase 1: 1970s stagflation and changing families

    “Gas shortages meant stagflation. So parents either both had to work or maybe they were divorced. So that meant microwave TV dinners and kids that sort of raised themselves,” Cella explains. “There was no parenting blogs, there was no after-school travel sports, emailing. Like, none of that existed. Bored? Go outside.”

     

     

    Phase 2: The neon ‘80s

    “But then came the 1980s, where everything was big and loud. The hair, the bangs, the Reaganomics, mass consumerism (because now we can trade with China). The whole media just exploded,” Cella says. “But now we have TV, we have movies, we have TV, movies, home movies, TV movies, favorite TV movies, music, music, Videos, music, video, television. All these different genres and all these different cliques and all these different ways that you can express yourself.”

     

     

    Phase 3: 1990s post-Cold War Skepticism

    “Gen X sort of comes into the 1990s more sarcastic and skeptical,” Cella continues. “The Cold War ending meant that they rejected the excess of the eighties. And there’s the shift. Grunge, indie, alternative, flannels, Docs [Doc Martins]. At this point, the technology is also exploding, but not like fun home media, but like corporate media. So there’s this resistance to sell-out culture.”

     

     

    Cella has a theory on why Gen X seems forgotten, and it’s not just because CBS News famously denied its existence. She believes that it comes down to Gen X’s inability to call attention to itself. “So Gen X is a bridge between these two larger, more storied generations. So it’s not necessarily that they get forgotten. They don’t really want the attention. They’re kind of fine to just like, fly under the radar like they always have, because honestly, it’s whatever.”

    This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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