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Pop Culture

A viral post argues East Coast folks are better people even if they aren't as 'nice' as those out West

It's sparked a "nice vs. kind" debate from people across the country.

OnlMaps/Twitter, Jordan Green/Twitter, Mike DeAngelo/Twitter

Having lived in small towns and large cities in the Pacific Northwest, Southwest, and Midwest, and after spending a year traveling around the U.S. with my family, I've seen first-hand that Americans have much more in common than not. I've also gotten to experience some of the cultural differences, subtle and not-so-subtle, real and not-so-real, that exist in various parts of the country.

Some of those differences are being discussed in a viral thread on Twitter. Self-described "West coaster" Jordan Green kicked it off with an observation about East coasters being kind and West coasters being nice, which then prompted people to share their own social experiences in various regions around the country.

Green wrote:

"When I describe East Coast vs West Coast culture to my friends I often say 'The East Coast is kind but not nice, the West Coast is nice but not kind,' and East Coasters immediately get it. West Coasters get mad.

Niceness is saying 'I'm so sorry you're cold,' while kindness may be 'Ugh, you've said that five times, here's a sweater!' Kindness is addressing the need, regardless of tone.

I'm a West Coaster through and through—born and raised in San Francisco, moved to Portland for college, and now live in Seattle. We're nice, but we're not kind. We'll listen to your rant politely, smile, and then never speak to you again. We hit mute in real life. ALOT.

So often, we West Coasters think that showing *sympathy* or feeling *empathy* is an act of kindness. Sadly, it's really just a nice act. Kindness is making sure the baby has a hat. (s/o to breenewsome and BlackAmazon)

When you translate this to institutions or policy, you'll see alot of nice words being used, & West Coast liberals/radicals are really good at *sounding* nice. But I've seen organizers & activists from other places get frustrated because nothing happens after ALOT of talk.

Nothing happens after the pronoun check-ins and the icebreakers. It's rare we make sure that people's immediate needs are addressed. There's no kindness. You have people show up to meetings hungry, or needing rides home, and watching those with means freeze when asked to help.

As we begin to 'get back a sense of normalcy' or 're-calibrate' to what people in Blue States™ think is Right™ and Just™, I want us to keep in mind the difference between Niceness and Kindness. If something sounds nice, doesn't mean that it's kind."

Of course, there are genuinely kind and surface nice people everywhere you go, so no one should take these observations as a personal affront to them individually. Generalizations that lead to stereotypes are inherently problematic, and broad strokes like "East coast" and "West coast" are also somewhat meaningless, so they should taken with a grain of salt as well.

In reality, a small town in South Carolina is probably more culturally similar to a small town in Eastern Oregon than it is to New York City, and there are some strong differences between various subregions as well. A more specific cultural comparison, such as "big cities on the West coast vs. big cities in the Northeast" might be more accurate as far as generalizations go, but regardless, many people related to Green's observations based on their own experiences.

To kick things off, a slew of responses poured in from people describing how New Yorkers can be cold on the surface while simultaneously reaching out their hand to help you.

Several people explained that the hustle required to afford the expense of living in New York explains why people skip the niceties. It's about valuing people's time; wasting it with nice words is ruder than just quickly helping out and then moving on.

Many people chimed in with agreement with the original post (even some Canadians confirming that their East/West differences aligned with ours).

"No sense of urgency" is definitely a West coast vibe, but is generally viewed a positive out here. And "inconveniencing everyone around them" might be a subjective observation. Maybe.

Plenty of people with bicoastal experience weighed in with their stories of how their experiences lined up with the basic premise of the thread, though.

Though certainly not universally true, the tendency for West coasters to be more hands-off might extend back to the frontier days. The pioneer and gold rush mindset was necessarily individualistic and self-sufficient. In my experience, West coasters assume you don't need help unless you directly ask for it. But people don't ask because of the individualistic and self-sufficient thing, so automatic helpfulness just hasn't become part of the dominant culture.

Things got even more interesting once the South and Midwest entered the chat.

But the takes on warm/nice/kind thing varied quite a bit.

One thing that seems quite clear if you read through the various responses to the thread is that specific states and cities seem to have their own cultures that don't break down as simply as East/West/Midwest/South. There's an entire book about how the U.S. can actually be subdivided into 11 different regions that are almost like nations unto themselves. Even this map from 1940 included 34 different cultural regions in the U.S.

And don't even get a Californian started on the differences between Northern CA, Southern CA, and the Central Valley. "Culture" can even be narrowed down even to specific neighborhoods, and people's experiences and perceptions vary for all kinds of reasons, so once again, generalizations only go so far before they fall flat.

If you're curious about what the data says about all of this, a cursory search of surveys about which states are the kindest brings up a fairly mixed bag, but people seem to find Minnesota quite friendly. A Wallethub ranking of charitability by state based on 19 factors including volunteerism also placed Minnesota at number one, followed by Utah, Maryland, Oregon, and Ohio. Pretty hard to make a regional generalization with those states.

Then again, there's the whole "Minnesota nice" thing, which brings us full circle back to the original thread.

So many elements go into the culture of a place, from population density to the history of settlement to the individual personalities of the people who make someplace their home. And nothing is set in stone—the atmosphere of a place can change over time, as anyone who's visited a city a decade or two apart can attest.

One thing that's true, no matter where we live, is that we play a role in molding the culture of our immediate surroundings. If we want where we live to be friendlier, we can be friendlier ourselves. If we want to see people help one another, we can serve as that example. We might stand out, but we also might inspire others who yearn for the same thing.

"Be the change" might seem a bit cliche, but it truly is the key to shifting or world in the way we want it to go, no matter what part of the country—or the world—we live in.


This article originally appeared on 01.22.21

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Family

Woman explains why having quadruplets resulted in a $4 million hospital bill

Here's how she paid the bill.

via Mikhail Nilov/Pexels

A man and woman looking over their bills. Representative image.

The United States is the second most expensive country in the world to give birth, after Japan. In Japan, it costs around $61,000 to have a vaginal delivery, although those costs can be offset by government health insurance.

In the U.S., it costs around $14,000 to have a child without insurance, although there are a lot of factors that affect the price, including where you give birth, the type of insurance you carry and if there are any complications.

While $14,000 is a lot of money for most people, Hanna Castle from the Columbus, Ohio, area received a $4 million hospital bill after having quadruplets and that didn’t even include the delivery. All 4 of the children needed to spend time in the NICU for lengths between 64 and 147 days.


Castle explained the costs in a video that has been seen nearly 8 million times.

That hurt 🤣 

@hannacastle

That hurt 🤣 #Quadruplets #nicu #america #healthcare

The 4 children, Atlas, Dominic, Magnolia and Morgan, were all born at 28 weeks via Cesarean section and were treated at separate NICUs. According to Investopedia, a stay in the NICU can cost anywhere from $3,000 to $20,000 a day in the United States.

The smallest child of the 4, Atlas, weighed just 1.5 pounds but had the shortest stay in the NICU of 64 days. His total bill came to $714,747.15. Next was Magnolia who stayed 74 days at a cost of $728,625.56. Morgan stayed 86 days for $976,415.69 and Dominic stayed the longest, 147 days, for $1,626139.55.

All in all, the total bill for the NICU for the Castle Quads was $4,045,927.95.

Commenters on the video couldn’t believe how anyone could pay such a massive bill. "To put this in perspective, it would take $500 a month for 675 years to pay this off," Gouda wrote.

The good news for the Castle family was that Medicaid of Ohio picked up the entire tab. Knowing that the babies would need extensive care after being born, the couple quit their jobs to qualify for financial assistance. "At 16 weeks pregnant, I decided to quit my job to get some of that assistance because there was no other way," Castle told Good Morning America.

"I moved my mom in with us to kind of help financially for the first year and see how the kids were going to be,” she added. In Ohio, adults with incomes up to 138% of the federal poverty level and children with a household income of 211% of the poverty level can qualify for Medicaid.

In a recent Facebook post, Castle discussed the tough challenges of being the parent of multiples in America.

“You can believe that you’ll have 1 full-term child, but every pregnancy is different. A lot of us do not believe in terminating healthy children because of finances. Things happen. No one wants to live off of government assistance just to be able to survive and frankly there’s a lot of shame behind it,” she wrote. “But other countries don’t even have to worry about that. Do they truly think that a 1-time tax credit per year is enough to get us to keep having children in this economy? With the type of medical bills we rack up here? With the lack of financial medical assistance we have here?”


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Joy

He's Italian. She's American. Their delightful love story has won the hearts of millions.

Carlo and Sarah share the quirks of combining cultures.

Photo by frank mckenna on Unsplash

Carlo and Sarah share their cross-cultural relationship hilarities on TikTok.

When cultures come together, sometimes it can be challenging, sometimes it can be beautiful and sometimes it can be hilarious. For one couple, highlighting the hilarity of their American-Italian love story has endeared them to millions of people around the world.

It all started when Sarah, who is American, went to southern Italy to visit family members who live there. Carlo worked as a lifeguard at the beach club his family owns where Sarah's family would go. He barely spoke English, but he asked Sarah on a date in the summer of 2019. They basically became inseparable for the rest of the summer.

Sarah returned to the U.S. and Carlo surprised her with a month-long visit in the fall. Their long-distance relationship was supposed to get a reprieve when she was to return to Italy in May 2020, but pandemic travel restrictions destroyed that plan.

They ended up meeting up in Ireland during the summer of 2020, one of the only places allowing both Americans and Italians to travel. That's where Carlo proposed.

Their wedding plans also got thwarted by COVID-19. They got married in Italy, but without Sarah's family and friends able to attend. Now they're about to have their second wedding in October here in the U.S.

@carloandsarah

@justinbaldoni @wayfarerstudios this is my #lovestory 🤍 #LoveWithNoLimits #longdistance #ldr #couple

But their cute love story is only one part of why they've grown a following of 4 million people on TikTok alone. The cross-cultural nature of their relationship regularly creates hilarious moments, from Carlo's confusion over English words and phrases to Sarah committing Italian food faux pas just to see his reactions.

Their playful energy is delightful, but people also can't get over Carlo calling Sarah "my love" over and over again.

In one of their first mega-viral videos, which has nearly 100 million views, Sarah breaks the pasta in half before she puts it into the water—a totally typical American thing to do—and Carlo nearly has a heart attack.

@carloandsarah

did someone say... DRAMA??? 🤣

Or how about the time Sarah suggested that she ask for pineapple on her pizza while in Italy and Carlo basically said he'd be forced to move out of the country if she did that?

@carloandsarah

Carlo has had it with me🤣

Italians have far more superstitious beliefs about luck than Americans do, which come out frequently in Sarah and Carlo's videos. For instance, you're not supposed to put a loaf of bread top-side down. And if you get a new car, you're supposed to put a jar of salt in the car to ward off "malocchio" (evil eye/bad luck).

@carloandsarah

YOU WANT MALOCCHIO?!🌶😡

Carlo's English has come a long way since they met—he started learning the language because he was interested in Sarah—but as with anyone learning any language, there are sometimes some funny misunderstandings.

For instance, calling a tall building a "scratchy sky."

@carloandsarah

Gelato with a nice view of scratchy sky😩😂

Or mistaken a seed for a seaman or … something else.

@carloandsarah

the SEA MAN😩🐟

There's often some confusion around which words are appropriate and which words aren't, which is illustrated no more clearly than how Carlo reacted to saying the word "peacock."

@carloandsarah

THE WAY HE YELLED IT💀

Cultures may clash sometimes, but cross-cultural relationships can also create humorous moments that highlight the human side of all of us.

Sarah and Carlo even came up with a way to "fight" without having to understand one another's languages at all.

@carloandsarah

You should try it out💀

You can follow Sarah and Carlo on TikTok, YouTube and Instagram.

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Democracy

Australians have some wonderfully Aussie thoughts about the American minimum wage

Photo by Melissa Walker Horn on Unsplash, @BrettKlein/Twitter

Australia's minimum wage is an example for us all.

How great is Australia? A relaxed cultural vibe that is progressive, inclusive and seems like a literal day at the beach. They even give us some of our favorite Marvel superhero film actors. Must be tough to make a buck there though, right? Actually, they've got a significant edge on us there as well. Take a look at Australian's minimum wage and how much further it goes for the average worker than for your typical hard-working American.

Australian unions are currently pushing for a 5% increase to the minimum wage to counter inflation. Australia's minimum wage is 20.33 Australian dollars per hour, which is the equivalent of $15.23 (as of the writing of this article).

Meanwhile, Americans are still sitting on the same federal minimum wage we've had since 2009—a whopping $7.25 an hour—while we are also dealing with inflation.

Minimum wage by U.S. state varies—a lot—from $7.25 to $15.90. And most states have different minimum wages for tipped jobs such as wait staff in a restaurant, on the assumption that you'll earn enough tips to make up the base wage. Though employers can choose to pay above the minimum, they aren't required to. And the minimum tipped wage in 17 states is $2.13 per hour.

Let me repeat that. In 17 states in the United States of America in 2022, the tipped minimum wage is $2.13 per hour.

That's bonkers. And the disparity between states is, frankly, shocking. If you live in Washington state, for example, you're guaranteed to make at least $14.49 per hour in any job, whether you get tips or not. If you live in Idaho—literally the state next door—you're guaranteed $7.25 per hour for standard labor and just $3.35 per hour for tipped employment. So the base pay for a waiter on one side of an imaginary line is four times more than on the other. So weird.

Anyway, back to Australia. They're a little worried about us, and it's not hard to see why.

from antiwork

A 16-year-old Australian on Reddit was shocked to learn that the federal minimum wage here is $7.25 per hour. "There is no way someone can live off that wage even if they're working full time." Yep, nope.

Another Aussie responded to a sign for Buc-ee's, a chain of country stores and travel centers in the southern United States, announcing wages for full-time work ranging from $15 to $17 per hour for associates to $22 to $32 per hour for department leads. To American eyes, in most states, this sign is a unicorn of awesome hourly starting wages for "unskilled" labor.

To Australian eyes, these are the lowest wages they ever see in their country.

Despite Australia having a minimum wage of AU$20.33 ($15.23), most workers actually make more than that. In addition to its minimum wage, Australia has a system under its Fair Work Act called Modern Awards, which establishes base pay and benefits for workers in a variety of industries, from fast food to health and beauty to caregiving.

One caveat: Workers under age 21 can make less than minimum wage in Australia, so teenagers may make significantly lower wages than AU$20.33 per hour (though still not as low as $7.25 per hour). However, the Modern Awards system dictates higher than minimum wage earnings for most workers—even for basic fast-food jobs—for people over 21. For example, the starting pay for a Level 1 fast-food worker over age 21 is AU$22.33 ($16.72) per hour during the week, AU$27.91 ($20.90) per hour on Saturdays and Sundays, and AU$50.24 ($37.63) per hour on holidays.

Not too shabby.

Another Australian pointed out that the amount some Americans pay for a college education is bonkers, in addition to our low minimum wage.

Australians graduate with less student loan debt than Americans, on average, and their student loan payments only start over a certain income threshold (and are linked to the amount you make).

Oh and let's not forget that Australians don't have to pay for healthcare out of their own pocket, either. And they have paid maternity leave of up to 18 weeks at the national minimum wage. And they have a minimum of four weeks of paid vacation time for all employees, on top of paid national hoildays.

But don't Australians pay a much higher tax rate than Americans for these benefits, you may ask? No, not really. According to the Tax Foundation, a single worker earning an average wage in the U.S. pays an average tax rate of 28.3% while in Australia they pay an average of 28.4%—so basically the same tax burden, at least for single people with no kids.

It's not that Australia is perfect, of course. But when it comes to paying people reasonable wages and guaranteeing paid time off and providing healthcare to all, they're light years ahead of the U.S.

Rather than seeing it as a woe-is-us comparison, however, let's look at it as "Hey, look at what's possible!" We, too, could have wages people can actually live on and not go into bankruptcy over medical bills and ensure that everyone gets paid time off so they can actually relax a little. It doesn't have to be some distant pipe dream; it's a matter of collective and political will. If Australia can do it, there's really no good reason we can't, too.

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