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Watch the tense moment Lucille Ball tells a host to take his hands off female audience members

It was common for male hosts to kiss, hug, and touch women in the 70s. It was not common for a woman to publicly challenge them.

CBS Television (Public Domain)
Lucille Ball was a powerhouse both on screen and off.

According to her daughter, Lucille Ball never considered herself a feminist, but there's no question she blazed many a trail for women. A working mother in real life, she depicted issues facing housewives with her brilliant television comedy and became the first female studio head in Hollywood. She broke glass ceilings but wasn't particularly outspoken about women's rights. In fact, in a 1980 interview with "People," she said, “They can use my name for equal rights, but I don’t get out there and raise hell because I’ve been so liberated, I have nothing to squawk about.”

Ball empowered women by example—and by speaking her mind. Carol Burnett shared a story on PBS about how Ball was unhappy with a script for her new show, but women at that time didn't raise concerns about such things. Men could express criticism and demand changes, but women simply didn't. Ball did—and firmly—despite being non-confrontational by nature. Later she told Burnett, "Kid, that's when they put the 's' at the end of my name."

A video has been circulating on social media showing Ball's no-nonsense way of speaking up when she felt the need to, and people are gushing over it.


Lucille Ball, 70s, 80s, 60s, I Love Lucy, television, actress, hollywood, sexism, misogyny Lucille Ball was a massive star, but perhaps best known for the show 'I Love Lucy'By CBS Television - Public Domain

In 1978, Ball participated in a Q & A session with UCLA theater arts students on the television program "America Alive!" The viral clip shows Ball repeatedly telling one of the hosts, David Sheehan, to take his hands off of female audience members when they were asking a question.

"Will you take your hands off, David?" she says as he introduces one young woman. "Take your hands off of her," she says again as he places his hand on the shoulder of another. "David, would you take your hands away?" she says as he places his hands on another woman in a sparkly gold dress.

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@femalequotient

We love Lucy ❤️

People laughed every time, but Ball didn't so much as crack a smile during her clear, simple, repeated "hands off" admonitions.

For 1978 especially, her advocacy for the women in the audience was extraordinary. Sheehan wasn't touching these women in a lewd or sexual manner, but he was touching them in a way that he wouldn't have touched a man who was asking a question. Most people wouldn't have thought much of it at the time, but Lucille Ball immediately noted it and didn't let it stand.

"I love that she didn't even laugh when the room was," shared one commenter. "She was not joking."

"'Take your hands off her, David,' should be a sound AND a t-shirt," wrote another.

"He kept trying. She kept telling him. Love her," shared another.

"Lucille Ball always reminds me of my grandma," offered another. "She hated to be seen as delicate, and she hated men that would touch her even more. She would say, stone-faced, 'Get your paws off.'"

Here are a few more of the best comments:

"the audience laughed and she said 'ain't nothing funny.' love her"

"This happened to me so much growing up and I noticed from very young the boys weren't treated this way."

"Even then she knew how the industry was I LOVE IT AND LOOOOVE LUCY SO MUCH"

A commenter on Reddit noted that Ball started her career as a chorus girl and dancer. "She knows every creepy man trick in the book"

Television and game shows from the 70s and 80s are an incredible time capsule of the culture and norms of the era. Sheehan wasn't the only one who tended to get a little handsy.

It was common for male hosts to kiss female contestants. Richard Dawson, host of The Family Feud, was famous for it. Even our beloved Bob Barker of The Price Is Right often had women suggestively reach into his jacket to fish out their $100 bill.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

There's a casual lecherous-ness that famous men seemed to get away with easily at the time. For anyone to publicly challenge them on their behavior was absolutely shocking.

Even if Sheehan was casually touching those women out of habit and not ill intent, it's laudable that Ball made a point of making him aware of it. Unfortunately, women are still having to deal with men touching them without being invited to, but seeing Lucille Ball's serious face while calling it out is a good reminder that women have been fighting this battle for a long time. Good for her for using her microphone and the respect afforded her to speak up for the young women in her audience.

This article originally appeared last year.

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UPS driver invited to family's cookout.

Family cookouts are the ultimate get-together. Good food, good people, and good quality time together. Invites are usually extended to close friends and kin—but one family extended the invite to a UPS driver (and total stranger) working a shift on a holiday weekend, proving community and hospitality are still alive and well.

TikToker @1fanto shared a touching video with his followers from Easter weekend where his family invited a UPS driver making rounds in their neighborhood to come to their cookout and 'make a plate.'

"Everybody family around here 😭," he captioned the video. "Everybody invited to the cookout.😂"

@1fanto

Everybody family around here 😭 #easter #cookout #wherethefunction

In the video, the UPS driver is seen standing in the family's driveway, and a group of cookout attendees warmly welcome him to join them. The uncle of @1fanto says to the driver, "You've been working hard all day man, you can go on in there!" He calls out for a woman named Stephanie to "take care of him!"

The UPS driver walks up the driveway, and they encourage him to go inside and get his fill as he enters the garage. After securing a plate of food and a drink, the driver walks back outside to mingle with guests, shaking hands with the uncle who invited him.

"You good?" the uncle asks, and the driver responds, "Yeah I'm good. They hooked me up. Thank you so much. Appreciate y'all for inviting me out." On his way back to his truck, the uncle encourages the driver to invite other workers to stop by as well.

@1fanto

Explaination to last video! Thank yall for the support really appreciate it. Yall are invited to the next cookout 🤝. #easter #cookout #fyp #upsdriver #invitedtothecookout

In a follow up video, @1fanto explained more about how the invite went down. He shares that the UPS driver was driving by the family's house on the Saturday before Easter, and at the time the family was enjoying a big fish fry cookout together. His uncle flagged the driver down, and he pulled over.

He shares that his uncle told the driver, "Go inside and get you a plate!" The driver asked him, "Are you sure?" But he reassured him, adding that the family made sure to ask the driver what he wanted and didn't want on his plate to "make sure he was good and got everything he needed".

"I saw it had a positive impact. That's what my family do. That's not something that we just do for social media," @1fanto shared. "That's something that we do on a regular basis that doesn't just happen when the camera's on. It happens when the camera's off, too. We're all equal. We all bleed the same."

Viewers had lots of positive things to say in the comment section.

"I am a UPS driver and that makes our day. People showing love to us"

"Your family represents the best of America🫶🏼 Your uncle is now all of our uncle."

"Working the holidays suck. But they made that man’s entire day. Love it."

"I love when people are nice for no reason. You’re so real ♥️thank you for being so kind."

This article originally appeared in April.

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Plus size figure skater with unreal moves is inspiring girls everywhere

So many kids have been told they can't figure skate because of their body shape. The doubters were clearly wrong.

Canva Photos

This figure skater is something else.

Is there anything more beautiful and graceful than ice skating? It's got the gorgeous aesthetics of gymnastics and dance combined with an almost other-worldliness as the skaters glide and fly around the ice. There's a reason people can't seem to look away from the rink when the winter Olympics roll around every couple of years.

However, the sports of ice skating comes with certain expectations of what the skaters body should look like. For women, most high level skaters are almost always extremely petite and slight. It stands to reason that this body type must be a requirement to perform at a high level, right?

Wrong. Laine Dubin is one skater who's out to prove that there's no "right way" for an athlete to look.

Dubin, most recently a student at Quinnipiac University where she was a standout on the skating team, began posting videos of her routines online in 2018. Believe it or not, she didn't set out to start a body-positive revolution—she just wanted to document her progress and free up some space on her phone,

But almost instantly, she began to develop a following. No one had ever seen anyone like her pulling off the moves that she could, all with so much personality and showmanship that sucked people in. Not only that, Dubin displays outstanding power and grace on the ice. If you've only ever watched the "prototypical" Olympic skaters perform, what Dubin does almost looks impossible. It's really amazing to behold.

One clip in particular recently went mega viral to the tune of over 30 million views:


@lainedubin

THE WINNER TAKES IT ALLLLLLLLL🏆🥇 🎥 @Emma #figureskating #figureskatingtiktok #iceskating #iceskatingtiktok #plussizefigureskater #figureskatingtiktoks #iceskater #figureskater #adultfigureskater #adultsskatetoo

Dubin has undoubtedly found her people on social media. The responses to her videos could bring tears to your eyes. Not only are viewers in awe of her skill on the ice, they find so much hope and inspiration in what Dubin is doing:

"Ok but as a bigger Asian girl who has always dreamed of ice skating this made me tear up 😭 so proud of you"

"I NEVER see plus sized rep in figure skating, YOU ARE INCREDIBLE THIS IS SO COOL!!"

"the fact no one knows how absolutely impressive this is especially with girls our size I love ice skating I've been a fan forever the power and strength you need to pull your up and spin like that"

"wait! someone with my body type figure skating?!!! like a GODDESS may I add, this makes me feel so seen, and like, maybe I could do this with some practice as well!!!!!???"

"As a plus sized girl who had the idea of figure skating shot down, thank you for making the lil girl in me happy and I'm so damn proud of you. You're awesome."

The comments just like these roll in on Dubin's videos every single day. But that doesn't mean that general attitudes across the sport are ready to change.

Women skaters, especially, are mercilessly mocked, fat-shamed, and picked apart by viewers, coaches, and even judges of the sport. Five-time Olympic medalist Tessa Virtue has dealt with people nitpicking her body her entire career, called either too fat or too muscular. Bronze medalist and two-time US National Champion Gracie Gold had to take a hiatus from the sport to get help with an eating disorder. One of the most promising young figure skaters in recent memory, Yulia Lipnitskaya, was forced to retire at just 19 due to anorexia along with injuries.

There are a lot of factors that contribute to this major problem. The norm is for female skaters in competition to wear incredibly skimpy dresses and outfits that accentuate their form and technique, which would make anyone self-conscious about their body. Canadian skater Kaetlyn Osmond adds that less body mass also helps them achieve sky-high jumps on the ice.

@lainedubin

the greatest thing you’ve ever seen since sliced bread🍞 (thats a joke people) #figureskating #figureskatingtiktok #iceskating #iceskatingtiktok #plussizefigureskater #figureskatingtiktoks #iceskater #figureskater #collegiatefigureskating

Dubin is living proof, though, that a plus-sized body can be athletic, graceful, and beautiful. It means so much to all the kids who think they shouldn't bother pursuing their love of the sport because their own body type will never allow them to fit in.

“It’s just people seeing representation in the media of themselves being represented first,” Dubin tells US Figure Skating. “That’s what will make people feel validated and that’s what will lead to change with body inclusivity in the skating space.”

The way she's racking up millions and millions of views, it's fair to say she—along with other plus-sized skaters—could have a real, tangible impact on the next generation of skating athletes.

This article originally appeared in April

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A grandma says grandparents should never say "Don't tell mommy"

Conflict between parents and grandparents seems to be at an all-time high. There's always been friction there due to different parenting styles and generational points of view. But lately, our culture is changing so fast that the divide seems greater than ever. Parents gripe that grandparents aren't doing enough babysitting, while the grandparents are still working and struggling to make ends meet. Grandparents don't like how much screentime their grandchildren are getting while parents are completely overwhelmed and just treading water most days.

One big source of conflict is whether grandparents are willing to respect and follow rules that parents have established, even if they might not agree with them. For example, most parents want grandma and grandpa to mind their kids' bedtime if they're babysitting or not go overboard with sugary treats. It's very easy for a grandparent to bend these rules with three simple words: "Don't tell Mommy!"

One grandma has sparked a fierce debate with her strong opinion on the matter: Little secrets between kids and grandparents aren't cute, they're dangerous.

grandparents, grandma, grandpa, parenting, kids, family, dads, moms, fatherhood, motherhood, teens, parenting tips, grandparenting tips"If you can't do it openly, don't do it." Photo by Ekaterina Shakharova on Unsplash

Dee Dee More offers advice and tips for new grandparents who want to excel in their role and, as she puts it, "be more than grand." In one recent video, she explained why "Don't tell Mommy" is something grandparents should never find themselves saying.

“Don’t be the grandparent who teaches your grandchild their first lesson in deception,” she says. “Let me be clear: asking grandchildren to keep secrets from their parents crosses a line that should never be crossed.”

“Picture this: you give your grandchild an extra cookie and say ‘Don’t tell mommy!’ Seems harmless, doesn’t it? It’s not,” she goes on. “‘Don’t tell Mommy’ is literally asking a child to lie to their parents. Children need to know that they can tell their parents anything, and you’ve just taught them the opposite. You’re also undermining the parent child relationship. A child’s safety can depend on open communication with their parents. Encouraging secret-keeping is exactly how predators operate; you don’t want to normalize that."

To be clear, she's not saying that asking a child to keep secrets about extra dessert from their parents is predator-like behavior. But parents work extremely hard to make sure their kids feel safe to tell them anything, anything. We want them to feel like they can tell us if someone hurts them, or to know they can call us one day when they've had too much to drink instead of getting in the car.

This small gesture, though relatively well-intentioned, can undermine that process.

“The key is simple: respect parents’ rules. If you can’t do something openly, don’t do it at all. Your relationship with your grandchild should strengthen their family bonds, not weaken them."

@morethangrand

That 'harmless' request to keep a secret? It's not harmless at all. Here's what every grandparent needs to understand about why secrets from parents are never okay. Teaching children that they should keep secrets from their parents: 🔴Undermines trust between parent and child 🟢Creates confusion about honesty 🔵Mirrors predatory behavior patterns 🔴Weakens family communication Instead of secret-keeping, try transparent communication with the parents about boundaries and special treats. Remember: If you can't do it openly, don't do it at all. For more ways to create healthy connection with your grandchild, sign up for our weekly emails from the link on my page! #grandparents #grandparent #CommunicationTips #GrandparentsLove #AdultChildren #NewGrandparent #newgrandparents #newgrandma #Grandparenting #grannytok #HealthyBoundaries #Boomer #EffectiveCommunication #GentleGrandparenting

Parents and grandparents alike chimed in to hard-agree with More's sentiment. Her words clearly seemed to strike a nerve with people on both sides of the parent-grandparent relationship.

The video was viewed over 30 thousand times on TikTok. Here are a few of the best comments:

"Granny here. Thank you for this. Safe adults do NOT ask children to keep secrets."

"I'm glad this is being talked about. I think people generally have good hearts, but they need to realize how damaging this is."

"And a grandparent who has an issue with this or says that the parent is being ridiculous, they are not safe people!!!"

"If you can’t do something openly don’t do it at all"

"you also make them believe the parent are going to be furious with the kid instead of the grandparent for something the grandparent did"

"My inlaws told my child not to tell me that they drove him without a carseat (in the front seat no less) and as a result have not been left alone with any of my kids since. It is unsafe for the child, and also for your relationship with your adult child."

More's video also raised bigger questions about how families should handle secrets and "lies of omission."


@morethangrand

With Easter coming up, grandparents may need a reminder that filling an Easter basket is not their job. Parents get to do all the fun firsts with their children--just as you did. Do they want your help? Maybe! So ask them! Don't just show up with an Easter basket, and claim the Easter bunny dropped it off at your house. What do you think? Should grandparents get to have the fun of the "firsts" with their grandchildren? #grandparents #grandparent #CommunicationTips #GrandparentsLove #AdultChildren #NewGrandparent #newgrandparents #newgrandma #Grandparenting #grannytok #HealthyBoundaries #Boomer #EffectiveCommunication #GentleGrandparenting

Several commenters chimed in that they teach their kids about "fun secrets" or "surprises" and how those are different than bad secrets. For example, we're not going to tell Mommy what we got her for her birthday. That's a fun secret, or a surprise. The key element of a surprise is that it's not meant to stay hidden forever; it's meant to be shared when the time is right.

Hiding something because we're afraid of the repercussions is very different.

And, by the way, it's not just grandparents who do this. Even parents themselves do it. Dads let the kids watch an R-rated movie and say "Don't tell Mommy." Mom lets the kids off the hook for an agreed-upon consequence and winks, "Don't tell Daddy." It undermines trust and safety no matter what adult is doing it.

There are gray areas, though, and it's not always clear cut. Part of helping your kid learn to trust that they can tell you anything is letting them know that you won't go and blab about it. It's not so much about secrets, or surprises, but everyone's right to privacy—even children. If my daughter wants to keep puberty-related conversations between her and her mom, she has that right, and I trust both of them to let me know what I need to know.

It's complicated, and it's easy to overthink every little thing.

"The key is to stay in the area between over-thinking and being thoughtless," More explained. "Thinking before we do something is usually the best way to go!"