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Kids

Mom of world’s youngest Mensa member reveals the 3 ways they realized they had a mini-genius

“It soon became clear that he was an exceptional little being.”

Joseph Harris-Birtell made history at 2 years old.

There are lots of smart children: ones who potty-train easier than others, pick up reading at a young age, or can play complex instruments before kindergarten. Then, there are genius children. One little boy in the United Kingdom is the latter, who quietly made history by becoming the youngest person admitted to Mensa, the exclusive intellectual organization that only accepts masterminds with an IQ of 132 or above—for those who aren’t in Mensa, that’s less than two percent of the population. So, how old was little Joseph Harris-Birtell when he was admitted to Mensa? A mere two years and 182 days. There are professional sports teams with World Series champion droughts longer than that—much longer.

Born on November 23, 2021, parents Rose and David Harris-Birtell say that Joseph has been extraordinary since birth. “It soon became clear that he was an exceptional little being,” Rose told the Guinness Book of World Records. Perhaps this isn't surprising, considering both his parents are academics: Joseph's father, David, is a Senior Lecturer at the University of St. Andrews and Rose is an Honorary Senior Lecturer at the same institution. “He is very kind and loving, confident and curious, and incredibly determined,” Rose said. “He loves a challenge and is really exhilarated by complexity, whether learning chess or poring over new words and concepts that he hasn’t come across before.”

 toddler, genius, smart, mensa, mom Beyond intellect, Joseph is kind and loving, too. Guinness World Records

 


The difference between smart and genius

 

But when did the Harris-Birtells know they had a prodigy on their hands, that their son wasn't just smart, but a genius? Rose describes three signs that tipped them off:

 
  1. He rolled over at five weeks: Rolling over, from belly to back and vice versa, is one of the earliest and most important motor milestones in an infant's development. Think of it as a baby's first step toward taking their first step. According to pediatrician Dr. Lauren Crosby, rolling over is “a crucial gross motor skill essential for building core strength, head control, and weight shifting.” But just because your baby has a penchant for rolling around and started doing it earlier than most doesn't automatically mean they're the next Isaac Newton, or whoever invented Post-Its (that was Dr. Spencer Silver, a true hero). Early physical milestone achievement alone is not a reliable indicator of superior intelligence. But Joseph didn't just start rolling early—he practically did it out of the womb. While most babies typically start rolling over between four and six months of age, Joseph had mastered this skill in a mere five weeks.
  2. He spoke his first word at seven months: The second sign of Joseph’s extraordinary intelligence came when he was only seven months old, when he said his first word. (For context, the average age for this milestone is between 9 and 15 months.)
  3. Before two years old, he read his first book out loud: After the first word tumbled out of Joseph, it was off to the races. Reading at this age is extraordinary: research says that from ages three to four, children begin to recognize letters and understand the concept of printed language, but don’t learn how to actually read until much later, around ages six or seven. “By two-and-a-quarter years old, he was reading out loud fluently for 10 minutes at a time,” says Rose. “And he could count to 10 in five languages and could count forwards and backwards to well over 100.”

 

 toddler, genius, smart, mensa, mom Joseph loves a challenge.Guinness World Records


And that was only the beginning for young Joseph. Since then, his mother says that the pint-sized genius has also begun to learn morse code, taught himself the Greek alphabet, and is “interested in the periodic table,” adding, “His interests are vast and varied, and he is always keen to learn more and loves a challenge.”

Before Joseph, the youngest member to join Mensa was Isla McNabb, who was two years and 195 days old when she was admitted to the prestigious club in 2023. The Crestwood, Kentucky native scored in the 99th percentile of intelligence for her age on the Stanford-Binet Intelligence Scales, which led to her parents to look into Mensa.

What do you do when a truly gifted child comes along, like Joseph or Isla? Joseph’s achievement highlights a challenge for many parents: supporting a child who has needs that do not fit conventional standards. Whether a child is academically advanced, a creative virtuoso, or has different learning abilities, their parents inevitably struggle to find support and understanding.

 toddler, genius, smart, mensa, mom Joseph's mom hopes his story can raise awareness for children with different needs. Guinness World Records

“It is a common misconception that everything is super easy for gifted children,” Rose explained to Guinness Book of World Records.

She continues,

"But everyone needs appropriate stimulation and understanding throughout their lives, and highly able learners can sadly have their unique talents dimmed by the pressure to fit into environments that simply haven’t been properly designed for them. Joseph is fortunate enough to attend a brilliant nursery and has an excellent music teacher, and in Mensa we hope to provide him with a community of peers as a source of further support as his formidable intellect continues to grow and develop.”

Yes, Joseph’s story is remarkable, and it’s a joy to marvel at a genius child. But it’s also a reminder that every child is unique, with their own needs and challenges, and they should be celebrated, too. Instead of trying to force them to fit a prescribed mold, or “be like everyone else,” Joseph is a shining example of what can happen when a child is allowed to thrive and dance to the beat of their own drum.

Photo by Isaac Quesada on Unsplash

Man in blue denim jacket carrying girl in white sweater during daytime.

Sometimes the smallest interactions parents have with their kids can have the biggest impact. For parents looking to pass down the positive things their parents did raising them to their kids, they shared their experiences and ideas with others.

"I’d love to know positive memories from your childhood that standout to you. Could be small things your parents said or did to make you feel safe and loved, family trips you may have taken, traditions, or little things you did with your parents," the parent wrote on Reddit. "I want to be intentional with my children and give them a childhood that feels warm and happy and memorable. And I’d just love to hear others positive experiences."

Other parents did not hold back opening up about the meaningful memories. Twenty parents share how their parents made them feel loved and seen, and how they plan to do the same with their kids and generations after to build better relationships.

1. "My dad was never afraid to apologize. When I was about 8, I remember getting Big Red all over his car because I was pouring it out the window and watching it fly. I didn't realize it was getting all over the car (and probably other cars). We had just left the car wash. When we got home he freaked out and yelled and screamed. I got the car wash stuff out of the garage and just sat and cried for a bit. Then he came out and sat with me and said that dad's mess up too sometimes. He said he understood I was just being curious and did not mean it and he wished he had explained his frustration in a calmer way. He hugged me and helped me wash the car again. I remember that he said mean things, but not what he said before the apology. I remember just about every word of that apology though. I think that one sticks out because that was the maddest he had been at me up to that point...maybe ever. There a few other stand out ones, some were even funny, but he always used them as a time to reconnect and really make sure we knew he loved us and respected us." – sstr677

2. "My dad showed up to everything. Every. Single. Thing. Spelling bee, Girl Scouts, cheerleading. When my cheer games overlapped with Buckeye games, he brought his Walkman to listen to the game while he watched me cheer. He did the Girl Scout camp outs with us. I’m 33 and I know that if I called him right this second to say I needed him, he’d be here immediately." – books-and-baking-

dad cheering, dads, parents, good memories, familiesclapping father wild GIFGiphy

3. "My granny would always feed me unprompted. I would be relaxing watching TV and here she came with fresh cut fruit or a glass of sweet tea. It felt good knowing she was thinking of me. She also would always say “Penny for your thoughts” and I always felt open to sharing with her.. I miss her so much nobody ever loved me like Geneva." – AquafinaRaeGina

4. "We had movie nights on Fridays. We were pretty poor but every Friday, we’d go to little Cesar’s down the road and get a $5 pizza. Then we’d go to the dollar store and get to pick out our favorite $1 candy. We’d go home, watch the movie with our pizza and candy, and then have a camp out in the living room. My brothers and I would fight over who got the couch and who got the hand-me-down recliners haha. We’d also drag out all of our mattresses and sleep in the living room on Christmas Eve. My dad made sure to read us a story every night for years. We’d ride our bikes to the library on Saturday afternoons if he wasn’t working and pick our bedtime stories for the week." – Prize_Common_8875

5. "Either one of my parents tucked me into bed every single night and told me they love me, until I was a teen. Meant the world to me now I think back. Will definitely be doing this when my little one goes into his own room." – hainii

tuck in, parents, bedtime, love, memoriesbart simpson sleeping GIFGiphy

6. "One that sticks with me was my dad saying this to me over the years: “No matter where you are or what happens, if you need me, call me and nothing will keep me away.” He kept his promise till the day he died, and I miss him every day." – Baaaaaah-baaaaaah

7. "For me it was going to sporting events with my Dad. It doesn’t have to be even a professional game. I went to multiple games of mid tier college basketball locally with my Dad starting at 5. We would watch the game, hang out with his friends after, get popcorn and a soda, talk about the game on the drive back. It made me feel like I was not only his son but also a buddy that he wanted to talk to and hang out with. I do the same thing with my boys now. I don’t think it has to be sports. Whether it be going to the movies, concerts, plays, whatever including them on events you enjoy is a great way to bond and show love." – HangmanHummel

8. "My mom would leave sweet notes in our lunches. Not every day but I remember oftentimes getting “Happy Friday!” or “Good luck on your game today!” type of notes. I’m tearing up just thinking about it…" – JustAnotherPoster_

lunch note, parents, parenting, kindness, kidslunch i love you note GIF by eviteGiphy

9. "When I was a preteen/teenager, my dad would let me play whatever CD I wanted in his truck. I was an emo/goth/alternative kind of girl so music was important to me, and still is. He actually would give the music a chance and we ended up bonding over a bunch of bands you wouldn't guess he would even like, but it was so nice." – lisa_rae_makes

10. "Honestly as an adult, my mom went to therapy when I asked her to. She made significant growth over the last few ways and it’s allowed us to repair and deepen our relationship in a way I would have never imagined. It shows so much love and effort that at 60 she has learned how to take accountability and change how she treats us. It is my ongoing goal to always be willing to apologize to/listen to my kids." – hfdxbop

11. "Spaghetti was ready to serve with table set, right as I got home from track practice. The sunsetting rays would come through the windows and I could see the steam coming off food, table set beautifully. This was such a treat as a young teenager, I can replay this scene in my head clear as day. The feeling of emptiness being filled with that warm homemade, healthy meal - yeah, that's love." – NocturneGrind_739

spaghetti, meals, parents, parenting, teensMichelle Tanner Pasta GIFGiphy

12. "My dad has always randomly given me a hug and a kiss, followed by an 'I love you'—and he still does it, even now that I'm 38 years old. I'll be working at my desk, and he'll come over, give me a hug and a kiss, and say, 'I love you.'" – repderp

13. "As I was falling asleep, my mom would get up to leave and I’d reach out the her… she always quietly sat back down and continued waiting. It made me feel loved and safe. She died when I was young. Just knowing she always chose me was a gift. She also was always the first person to tell me happy birthday first thing in the morning before anyone else." – FoodisLifePhD

14. "My mom was at EVERY game, recital, musical, or other event I was a part of. She volunteered in our classrooms at school, on field trips, or behind the scenes in the productions I was in. She was always working too, but she did everything she could to be there for my extracurriculars and that meant so much." – savsheaxo

dad hug, parents, parenting, moms and dads, kidsdeandre jordan love GIF by NBAGiphy

15. "My dad would just hug me while I fell apart & cried. He did it until I’d stop. Happy to do the same with my kiddos." – offensivecaramel29

16. "Ever since I could remember, my dad told me beautiful bedtime stories where I was the main character, and he prompted me to add to the story, keeping things interesting. It helped build our communication and grow my imagination. ❤️" – JeremeysHotCNA

17. "Had room on their lap for me. Read books to me. Asked me what I thought or what I thought something was in nature? I was raised by hippies who did build me up to be smart and forever willing to learn from new things." – Spiritual_Lemonade


mom reading to kid, reading, bedtime, parents, teachingIs There Life Out There GIF by Reba McEntireGiphy

18. "When I started driving and borrowing my mom's car to go to parties, she told me, 'If you ever can't drive for any reason, including drinking, call me; I don't care how late it is. I won't give you a hard time when I come get you, and we can talk about whatever it is later. But I'd much rather you be safe and alive than feel like you have to hide something from me and do something dangerous.' I actually never ended up needing the offer, but I definitely felt much safer knowing I had an ace in my pocket." – Dowager-queen-beagle

19. "My parents were not perfect by any means but they were intentionally present in our lives and remain so to this day and I'm now 57. They show up, they respect our free will and support us even when they don't agree with us. They have independent relationships with their grandchildren. Their actions match their words and their actions are driven by their love for us." – DbleDelight

20. "One simple thing was whenever my dad ordered food, like from a fast food restaurant, he would always give them my name for the order. I felt so special and grown up to have my name called for the food." – Appropriate_Ad_6997

Parenting

Psychologist shares the 3 things to say first when your child is upset about something

Dr. Becky says every parent needs to have these 3 lines in their toolbox.

It can be hard to know how to help a child who's upset about something

One of the unfortunate realities of parenting is that kids don't come with a manual. Sure, there are a bajillion parenting books out there, but anyone with more than one child knows that every kid is different, what works with one won't necessarily work with another, and parents frequently find themselves at a loss for how to handle the thousands of scenarios that pop up as you go through your parenting journey.

However, that doesn't mean expertise doesn't exist. Psychologists that specialize in children and families do have some insights into healthy child development and relationship dynamics, so it's worth taking advice from them when you feel completely at a loss. Like, for instance, when your child comes to you upset about something.

parenting, motherhood, fathernood, when your child is upset, dr. becky kennedyHelping kids become resilient is an ongoing process.Photo credit: Canva

As an adult, you may have more wisdom and perspective than your child. You might feel like they are overreacting or that they don't really have a good reason to be upset. Or, your kiddo may express their emotions with much more intensity than you do and you aren't sure how to navigate that. You worry you might say something that makes the situation worse.

Dr. Becky Kennedy, better known as "Dr. Becky," is a clinical psychologist and parenting coach who has become a popular voice of reason for today's generation of young parents. As a mom of three kids herself, she has not only the academic knowledge to back up her advice, but also the boots-on-the-ground experience that gives her credibility beyond just the letters behind her name and book titles under her belt.

In an interview with author and podcaster Lewis Howes, Dr. Becky shared the three lines she says every parent needs to have in their tool belt for when their child is upset.

#1. "I'm so glad you're talking to me about this."

"If I were to put this in an adult context, if I was like, 'I'm so mad at my husband, he never, whatever, he never is home for bedtime, and he forgot the one thing I said," said Dr. Becky. "And if I was like, 'Hey, you're never doing anything around the house, and I am really frustrated.' If he said to me, 'You know, Becky, you're upset but I'm so glad you're telling me about this,' I'd be like, 'I think we're good now. Like I don't even know—What was I upset about?' Because what someone's really saying to you when they says that is, 'This feeling in you that you're feeling is real, and I still want to be in a relationship with you when you're feeling that way.'"

In other words, they get the message that they are loved and accepted even when they're expressing upset or anger or hurt.

"Our kids need to absorb from us, from a resilience perspective, 'My parent can tolerate this part of me before I learn to tolerate this part of me.'"

#2. "I believe you."

Dr. Becky says this is the one line that's probably the most healing in people's childhoods and the most confidence-building.

She clarifies that it doesn't mean you believe everything a child says in their upset state. If they say, "It's so embarrassing, I'm never going to school again," it doesn't mean you believe they're really never going to go back to school. It means you believe that's how they feel. You're saying, "I believe it feels that bad."

"We actually say to our kids all the time, which terrifies me, 'I don't believe you,'" Dr. Becky said. "And if we wonder why people don't trust their emotions, it's because when they felt emotions that were strong, they received—not one time but over and over—a message of 'I know your feelings better than you know your feelings.'"

parenting, motherhood, fathernood, when your child is upset, dr. becky kennedy"I believe you" is a simple but powerful phrase.Photo credit: Canva

She explained that trusting your feelings becomes important in situations like when someone's pressuring you to do something you don't really want to do, giving a hypothetical example of her own daughter being in college and not wanting to go home with someone.

#3. "Tell me more."

Drawing out the full story, acknowledging and empathizing with the details that led your child to feel the way they do is important. Dr. Becky demonstrated how she would repeat back each detail as her child told a story, expressing hurt or embarrassment along with them as the story went on.

"And now, in all these moments that my kid was in pain—which, by the way, part of the pain is probably that they were alone—I'm kind of infusing myself in every moment," she explained. "I'm adding connection. I'm adding believing."

When you talk through an upsetting incident with a child this way, they're often ready to move on before you are, she said. They know that when they need you, they can always come back, and that's really what every parent wants—for our kids to know they can come to us when they need us, but for them to go out and live and learn on their own until they do.

You can follow Dr. Becky for more parenting wisdom on Instagram and TikTok.

Family

Adult children who had 'good parents' share what their parents did right

There's a lot we can learn from these parenting success stories.

Good parenting is often most recognized in hindsight.

When you're in the thick of parenting, it can feel like you're just flying by the seat of your pants. You can read every parenting book under the sun and still feel like you're doing it wrong, and the conflicting advice about what to do and what not to do with your kids is enough to make your head spin. To make it even more complicated, each kid who comes into your life brings their own unique personalities, leading to specific joys and challenges and making definitive rules about parenting seem silly at best.

However, there's no doubt that some parents manage to raise kids into solid, healthy, contributing adult humans while maintaining good relationships with them. Some of those adult children are sharing what their parents did that made them good parents—what they did right in raising them—and it's a treasure trove of excellent parenting examples.

from AskReddit

Here are some of the most popular responses:

They supported their kids' interests without judgment

"My parents are imperfect, but they did a lot of things right. The biggest one that sticks out to me is that they're supportive of things my brother and I like even when they don't understand or like it. They didn't really care for skateboarding, but they spent hundreds of dollars over the years for my brother to enjoy his hobby. They not only helped me get a drum set, but allowed the band to hold practice in our basement and drove us to all our shows. They wanted me to be a lawyer, but they were willing to settle for line cook. It made a difference in the long run, because eventually it helped me realize that I get to make my own choices in life - nothing is laid out for me. I can do whatever I enjoy, and my parents will be there for me, cheering me on."

"My parents are the same. My brother always showed huge passion over a short period of time for things like skateboarding, drums, BMXing etc and our parents happily bought him what was required for him to pursue his interests. He never did well academically so they were supportive when he chose to go into construction; our dad actually helped him get a job. When my brother showed restlessness with that job, our dad helped him start a business and kept it afloat during periods of financial difficulty.

I on the other hand, had my limited interests in reading and drawing nurtured. I was given books whenever requested and was supported when pursuing an art degree. Now I’m pursuing an entirely different degree and I’m supported by our parents once again in their own way.

They’ve never encouraged us in ways other parents might. We don’t get told we’ve done a good job or to keep going when we’re about to give up, we just know exactly what is expected of us and know if we fail, our parents won’t hold it against us. They’re there, quietly cheering us on in the background."

They explained themselves to their kids

"Taught respect, never played favorites. But the biggest thing was they always explained their actions and we're willing to discuss why, and occasionally even change their mind. It was never 'no because I said so.' I think I didn't really have a rebellious phase because they never really forbid anything, it was always 'well you can do that when you don't live here.'"

parents talking to young kidsExplaining things to your kids is key. Photo credit: Canva

"This is honestly one of the biggest things a parent can do right. Mine always tried their best to explain everything to me. There was rarely ever any 'Because I said so' moments. Knowing the reasons why I could or couldn't do something made me listen 99% of the time. 'No, do your homework first - you'll have more time to play later.' 'No, you can't have that toy - we only have $200 to last us the rest of the week,' 'No, you can't be out past dusk - something bad's more likely to happen to you when it's dark.' It made me respect my parents instead of resent them, and it also helped me develop good habits and reasoning early on."

They were fair-minded and taught fair-mindedness

"My dad was exceptionally fair. Any conflict would be solved by sitting down and having me evaluate multiple perspectives. If we could reason through an issue and it appeared someone had indeed treated me poorly/done the wrong thing and I was 'in the right,' he would give me credit for that but then still work with me to find a way to resolve the issue with the other person. Vice versa, if I was wrong he had a way of conversing with me that made me realise it on my own.

I think this really helped in building some character traits I’m very grateful for, but it also built a child/parent relationship with mutual trust. I felt comfortable approaching my dad about anything. I knew he’d tell me about it if I was wrong, but I also knew he would back me if I was in the right. That was powerful, to feel respected as a teenager. It’s only now I’m an adult I realise how that empowerment drove me to be responsible for my own actions rather than blaming the world for not understanding me."

"Ah, my mother does this. One of the biggest things she taught me is to put myself in the other person's shoes and see the situation from their perspective rather than just my own. It's really shaped me into a kinder person, I think, and I'm really grateful for her."

They taught by their own example

"A lot of it was the little things they taught me by example. Stuff like being patient and kind to customer service or waitstaff. I’ve seen my parents get unbelievably mad with cable companies, but never to their face; they keep their cool and stay as polite as they can be on the phone, then blow a gasket after the call where it won’t get dumped on a call center worker who doesn’t deserve it. Just because you’re having a shitty day doesn’t mean they need to get cussed out too.

They also taught me to be accepting of others’ beliefs by example. We grew up going to church and when I came back from college I had done some thinking and decided I didn’t believe in God at all, and told my parents as much. My dad, who was the sitting president of the church council, said “alright, we won’t wake you up early on Sundays, and if you ever do want a ride to church you know where to find us”, and that was the end of the discussion.

Honestly a lot of principles I hold today are because I try to follow in their footsteps, since it’s because of them that I try to be a decent and honest person every day."

"They led by example. My parents never expected things out of me that they didn't live by themselves. Whether it was something as simple as being open and honest to our entire family or something more complicated like living within your means, budgeting, and treating all people with total kindness. It's a lot easier as a kid to look-up to your parents when they live their daily lives by the same values they taught me."


dad talking to a sonCycle breaking parents are superheroes.Photo credit: Canva

They broke cycles of dysfunction

"My parent's weren't perfect and they weren't wealthy. My dad was abandoned as a child, in a state thousands of miles away from home, raised with a bunch of people he wasn't related to. My mom was a child of divorced parents, abused and hated by her step parents. They found each other and worked their ass's off so me, my sister, and my brother never had to go through those same troubles. Both of my parents have trauma from their youth, my dad can be paranoid, my mom struggles with depression, but they never abandoned us. When my cousin was starving because my auntue was out drinking, they took him in, and he became my brother. Sometimes they argue, sometimes they yell, but they never laid hands on each other. They've been there for me countless times, even when it cost everything. Now that I'm older I'm trying my hardest to be there for them, because i know now what they've done for us. They broke the cycle."

"My mom came from a huge, poor family. Her father was a physically abusive alcoholic and her mom was mentally ill. Her siblings are almost all into drugs and crime.

My dad's parents were immigrants, and were pretty locked into their culture. They all worked hard, but no one took care of their mental health and honoring your elders was more important than happiness. He married a tall white lady anyway.

They always encouraged me to do whatever I wanted, and be whoever I wanted. They broke cycles too, and they're amazing. They were financially smart and sacrificed so much for us, and I'm glad they're close to reaping the rewards in their retirement."

Some practices that popped up repeatedly in the discussion were:

- they spent time with me

- they read to me

- they loved me through mistakes

- they didn't shelter me

- they trusted me

- they respected me

One thing that a lot of people pointed out was that their "good" parents certainly weren't perfect. It might be a relief for current parents to know that you don't have to parent perfectly to have kids who are grateful for how you raised them.

May we all be the kinds of parents who are spoken of this highly by our adult kids when we're not around to hear it.