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Joy

Couple shares emotional moment they learned they were pregnant and people can't stop crying

"I don’t even want kids and I’m crying at my desk right now."

Courtesy of Saffron

Couple shares emotional moment they discovered they were pregnant

Trying to conceive can be a long journey for some people while for others it seems like the easiest thing in the world. If you fall into the group that has difficulty getting pregnant you know it can take months, years and sometimes expensive fertility treatments. There are months of anxiety, tears and confusion that can come along with the process.

But when the test finally comes up positive, the joy is palpable and oftentimes contagious. One couple recorded the months of disappointment leading up to their positive pregnancy test and their video has caused viewers to fall into shambles. Saffron and Dimeji uploaded the video compilation to social media and people are struggling to hold back their tears.

The video shows Saffron reading the results of a pregnancy test with her partner right next to her. Their disappointment can be felt though they both attempt to make it seem like they're okay. This process repeats multiple times throughout the video with each disappointment being more palpable than the last.

This same scene plays out about sixth times making the viewer anticipate more sad results, but when they look on the seventh time, their eyes go wide and an audible gasp is heard from both. Happy tears, hugs and several "oh my gods" later, the positive test is turned to the screen for everyone to see the family is growing. Saffron explains to Upworthy "we’d been trying for 6 months before we got pregnant this time," before sharing "it’s our second pregnancy."

The pair already have a older child and while the couple doesn't meet the 12 month threshold to classify their journey as secondary infertility, it is a fairly common condition. Secondary infertility affects 11% of couples in the United States and can be caused by many of the same things can cause primary infertility, PCOS, endometriosis, uterine disorders, low ovarian reserve and more.

Saffron's video has been seen 59 million times on Instagram and has even made it's way to Reddit where more than 3k people commented on the emotional video. Many people had trouble seeing through all the tears they were crying for the sweet couple.

- YouTubeyoutube.com

"His face when it didn’t come up as positive had me legit crying," one woman says feeling the disappointment from the screen before the positive result came up.

"This is why you don’t go on your phone in work…..I’ve just burst into tears," another person cries.

"It is so beautiful to see two people who truly love each other and truly care and truly respect one another, as there is just love I see in him and I see it in you, and in this world of so much deception it is beautiful to see the hugs and the joy you both have and it is inspirational and love overcome always," one commenter shares.

Under the video shared on Reddit, people were equally as emotionally wrecked watching the progression of the video with one person writing, "the second-to-last clip, where the wife is in a tan robe, he really looked like he was going to burst into tears. It broke my heart. I feel like maybe he’d made up his mind it wasn’t ever going to happen, and so in the next clip he was not prepared."

"I don’t even want kids and I’m crying at my desk right now. The joy and shock, his face, the way she’s shaking and crying, it all just makes me so happy," another says.

Sharing such a private moment with the world was probably not the easiest decision in the world, but they likely made several struggling couples feel a little less alone in their own fertility journey. Congratulations to the little growing family!

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Health

Woman shares three questions pregnant women can ask when they feel unheard by their doctor

Tired of being told "everything is normal?" These expert-backed questions can help.

<a href="https://health.mil/-/media/Images/MHS/DVIDS/Articles/news463284.ashx?la=en&hash=482EB0A0715052DC53B9746E1F0FDF7B486B0222">health.mil</a>

So many women report being gaslit by the very people meant to help them in times of need.

We might attribute the image of a woman with actual medical concerns being labeled “hysterical” by her doctor to the bygone Victorian era, but very real challenges continue to this day.

Research shows that a gender bias still exists in medical care, particularly in chalking up women’s physical problems to psychological issues. Women are still more likely to be considered “emotional” and accused of “fabricating” their pain by a healthcare professional, whereas men are more likely to be called “stoic.”

As Anushay Hossain writes in her book “The Pain Gap: How Sexism and Racism in Healthcare Kill Women”:

“Women are not believed about their bodies — period.”

This dismissal of a woman’s medical concerns (which a whopping 72% of women say they have experienced) has caused serious illness and disease to be misdiagnosed as anxiety, depression or emotional distress. And for debilitating symptoms to be called “normal.” And because of this, more health care professionals are giving tips on how women can advocate for themselves.

Recently, in response to a pregnant woman who, you guessed it, was venting about a doctor telling her everything was “normal,” OBGYN Dr. Noa Sterling chimed in with some advice.

“This is how you're going to respond the next time you bring a symptom or a complaint to your OB provider and you're just told that's normal,” she began, adding that the commonly seen dismissal “100% contributes to maternal mortality.”

She even surmised, “I think that's one of the reasons why black maternal mortality is so much higher than you see with white women because oftentimes black women are not listened to.”

And with that, Dr. Sterling encouraged pregnant folks to ask these three questions next time their doctor tries to dodge their concerns:

  • I know that normal pregnancy symptoms can sometimes be an indication that something more serious is going on. What about my situation tells you that this is not something serious and not something that I need to be concerned about?
  • What should I be looking for that might indicate that this is a more serious symptom?

And finally, if you don't want to leave the office without some form of guidance on managing symptoms:

  • I am glad that you think that this isn't something serious. However, I would like to do something about this symptom. What do you suggest?
@drsterlingobgyn #stitch with @katylynnsmithdesign How to communicate with your #obgyn #pregnant #pregnancystruggles #pregnancystressrelief #pregnancytips #advocatingforyourself #stressinpregnancy ♬ original sound - Noa Sterling, M.D., FACOG

Several commented on Dr. Sterling’s video also suggested that any dismissal of symptoms be recorded in their medical chart. While Sterling understood the reasoning behind that approach, she argued that leaning into the frustration can put providers “on the defensive.” In her opinion, people are “better served” by clearly reiterating their needs in a way that connects to “the humanity of both people involved.” Though she also acknowledges that that won’t work in every situation.

Point being: advocating for yourself, especially when it comes to medical concerns, is vital. That’s why it’s important to have healthy, effective tools for making sure your doctor actually hears you. And if they still won’t perhaps it’s best to look for a different provider.

For more tips, follow Dr. Sterling on TikTok.

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video
Family

12 hilariously relatable comics about life as a new mom.

Embarrassing stains on your T-shirt, sniffing someone's bum to check if they have pooped, the first time having sex post-giving birth — as a new mom, your life turns upside-down.

All illustrations by Ingebritt ter Veld. Reprinted here with permission.

Some good not so good moments with babies.



Embarrassing stains on your T-shirt, sniffing someone's bum to check if they have pooped, the first time having sex post-giving birth — as a new mom, your life turns upside-down.

Illustrator Ingebritt ter Veld and Corinne de Vries, who works for Hippe-Birth Cards, a webshop for birth announcements, had babies shortly after one another.

In the series "#ThingsOnlyMomsKnow" Ingebritt and Corinne depict the reality of motherhood — with all the painful, funny, and loving moments not always talked about.

1. Pee-regnant.

pregnancy, family, bathroom breaks, comedy

Expectant moms plan for the bathroom.

All illustrations by Ingebritt ter Veld. Reprinted here with permission.

2. How (not) to sleep.

sleep habits, body changes, hormones, relationships

Learning how to go with the flow.

All illustrations by Ingebritt ter Veld. Reprinted here with permission.

3. Cry baby.

mood swings, empathy, relationship advice, funny

Moms can be emotional... and dads too.

All illustrations by Ingebritt ter Veld. Reprinted here with permission.

4. The new things that scare you...

maternity, prenatal care, postpartum depression, raising kids

Falling in love with the necessary conveniences.

All illustrations by Ingebritt ter Veld. Reprinted here with permission.

5. ...and the new things that give you the creeps.

gender roles, social issues, respect, pregnancy

People have the ability to make normal situations feel weird.

All illustrations by Ingebritt ter Veld. Reprinted here with permission.

6. Being a new mom can get a little ... disgusting.

pregnancy test, birth control, moms, relationship advice

The convenience of a pregnancy tests is also peeing on a stick.

All illustrations by Ingebritt ter Veld. Reprinted here with permission.

7. And every mom has experienced these postpartum horror stories.

bladder control, body transformation, human miracles, body positivity

Taking advantage of two bodily functions at one time.

All illustrations by Ingebritt ter Veld. Reprinted here with permission.

8. There are many, many memorable firsts.

infants, adults, baby poo, intestinal gas

Walking into a house with babies... yep.

All illustrations by Ingebritt ter Veld. Reprinted here with permission.

9. Getting to know your post-baby body is an adventure.

lactation, friendship, me time, breast pump

Have a spare shirt ready to go.

All illustrations by Ingebritt ter Veld. Reprinted here with permission.

10. Pumping ain't for wimps.

convenient pregnancy aids, pumping, breast feeding, baby formula

Looking behind the magic of a breast pump.

All illustrations by Ingebritt ter Veld. Reprinted here with permission.

11. You become very comfortable with spit-up. Very comfortable.

possetting, infancy,

No need to duck.

All illustrations by Ingebritt ter Veld. Reprinted here with permission.

12. Your body, mind, and most importantly, heart, will expand in ways you didn't know possible.

body and mind awareness, love, family, mothers

There are going to be changes.

All illustrations by Ingebritt ter Veld. Reprinted here with permission.

This story first appeared on Hippe Birth Cards and is reprinted here with permission.


This article originally appeared on 09.13.17

From Your Site Articles

It's time to rethink the term 'geriatric pregnancy' as more women wait to have children

Women are having children well past 40 but are considered "geriatric" after 35.

BBC News|YouTube

Rethinking the term 'geriatric pregnancy' as more women wait for kids

In more recent decades, women have started to delay having children or decide to not have them at all. Society has been taught that women must have children when they're in their 20s because that's when fertility is highest. Unfortunately it's true that fertility declines as women age, but pregnancy is still possible up until menopause.

Even if someone previously didn't want children, with technology they have the option to change their minds much later in life. Many women have taken to the idea of having more life and career experience before brining about children. But the language around pregnancy in women over 35 is still pretty offensive.

This now more common phenomenon of waiting until later in life to have children is medically called a geriatric pregnancy, though some doctors sugar coat it by calling it "advanced maternal age." Neither of these terms feels indicative of a warm feeling you're expected to experience while growing a child. BBC's The Global Story podcast blows through some pretty unfortunate misconceptions and truths about pregnancy after 35 in an interview with the Head of Reproductive Science and Sociology Group, UCL.

The two women co-hosting the podcast are both moms who waited to have children after the magic number. While having a baby after 35 is considered geriatric, some women are having babies into their 70s. Dr. Ssali says, "last week we successfully delivered this lady who was 70 years of age of twins, a boy and a girl. Previously we had treated her with IVF, again the same process, three years ago and she conceived and delivered a baby girl."

Of course choosing to have a baby in your 70s is well outside the normal age for childbearing, 35-50 isn't since many of these women are still capable of natural pregnancy without intervention. A woman's fertility decreases with age but it doesn't go down to zero until after menopause has fully set in. If it were impossible to conceive there wouldn't be a term called, "menopause baby," which simply means someone became pregnant during their perimenopausal phase.

Professor Joyce Harper, the head of reproductive science and sociology explains, that while women's eggs lose fertility over the years, the uterus never does. This is why IVF using donated eggs for older hopeful parents can be successful. The trend of later in life babies isn't one to soon end as the age a woman births her first child increases by one year every decade.

"The average age [for first time moms] globally is 28," Stephanie Hegarty, BBC Population Correspondent says. "60 years ago the average age was 22 and every decade it's gone up globally by about a year."

Hegarty expands on the thought by adding people can continue to have babies as they get older. But when it comes to why people are choosing to have children later in life, economics plays a big part in whether people decide to have children or not. Raising a child is expensive and the cost of living has only gotten more exorbitant while wages have stayed largely the same. The experts on the podcast also said girls and women becoming more educated has pushed desires for motherhood to later years.

It's certainly something to consider when it comes to terminology. If the trend of increasing average age for women delivering their first child continues, then in another few decades, 35 will be the average age. Will we still be calling it geriatric pregnancy or advanced maternal age, then? Maybe a language change is in order before we reach that stage.

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