upworthy

positivity

A hero dog saves a toddler who had been lost for 16 hours.

Dogs are man’s best friend, and a toddler’s best hero.

In a truly anxiety-inducing story, a valiant ranch dog named Buford made headlines after finding a missing toddler who had wandered seven miles away from his home in the rural Arizona wilderness.

Seven. Miles. Can you imagine?

On the night of April 14, Yavapai County Sheriff's Office shared a report of a missing two-year-old named Boden Allen, who had walked away from his home in the small town of Seligman, Arizona—wearing only his pajamas.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The thought of a toddler making his way alone through rocky desert terrain is already terrifying, but to make matters even more harrowing, the surrounding area had at least two mountain lion sightings that night.

Though a massive search party of nearly 40 search and rescue workers and officers had been initiated immediately, their efforts were to no avail, and by hour 16, things felt very dire.

As reported by NPR, hope was all but lost until Buford, a “kid loving” Anatolian Pyrenees discovered the little boy, who had likely followed a power line down from his house and into a ranch owned by Buford’s human, Scotty Dunton. The poor little fella had been sleeping under a tree!

 buford dog rescue, dog rescues toddler, lost toddler, hero dog, dog stories, feel good stories, positive news, local news, arizona newsA photo of an Anatolian Pyreneesdogtime.com

Buford brought little Boden back to safety, and while he was understandably distraught, he was able to tell Dunton a bit of his plight after receiving some food and water. And aside from a few cuts and scrapes, he was in good health. He is now safe and sound with his very relieved family.

"I'd heard about the missing child before I was going to town, and when I was driving out the driveway I noticed my dog was sitting down by the entrance. And I look up, and the little kid's standing there with my dog,” Dunton said in an interview with the sheriff's office.

As for Buford, the gifts keep a’ comin’ for this goodest of good boys. He became an honorary member of the Yavapai County Search and Rescue Team—even got himself a nifty vest—and Dunton told NBC News that they’ve received “Toys, chew toys, snacks, you name it, just a little bit of everything” from folks around the world thanking Buford for his heroic feat.

Thank goodness this story had a happy ending, but it truly took a miraculous chain of events to turn out that way. So here’s a reminder to do a little preventive maintenance–childproofing doors and windows, adding alarms, having a little safety meeting with the kiddos, etc. On the bright side, this is also a lovely reminder about how our communities, both the human and furry members, can show up for us when we need it most.

As Corey Allen, Bodin's father, said, “It’s a story of faith."

Family

Kids don't listen? Expert says stop constantly saying 'no' and try this approach instead.

"Your kids will never know what you want them to do if you only ever tell them what not to do."

A young boy with his hands over his ears.

There isn’t a parent alive who doesn’t get tired of constantly correcting their child’s behavior by saying, “Don’t do this” or “Stop doing that.” What makes things even worse is that it can feel like no matter how many times we tell our kids to “stop standing on the couch” or “don’t slam the door,” they never seem to listen.

Jenna Mazzillo says that kids may not be responding to our “stop no don’ts” because they aren’t sure what they should be doing instead. Mazzillo shared her thoughts in a recent Instagram reel that was a big help to many frustrated parents. Mazzillo is a board-certified behavior analyst and special education teacher with 13 years of experience who goes by @abanaturally on Instagram,

How do I get my kids to listen?

“Here's the thing about when we use those ‘don't’ and ‘no’ statements. We're never telling our children what they should be doing. What should they be doing instead?” she said. “Additionally, we're just drawing attention to the very thing that we don't want our children to be doing.”



Mazillo’s advice makes a lot of sense. Learning the correct thing to do is impossible when we are only told what we shouldn’t be doing.

“So what should we do instead?” Mazzillo continued. “Tell our children exactly what we want them to be doing. Instead of saying, ‘Don't put your feet on the chair,’ we would want to say, ‘Put your feet down.’ Instead of saying, ‘Don't talk to me like that,’ tell your child exactly what you want them to say.”

Mazzillo shared some examples of how to implement her positive approach on Instagram.

  • Instead of saying, “Be careful!” try, “Hold onto the railing as you go down the stairs.” This gives them a specific action that promotes safety.
  • Instead of “Don’t touch that!” try, “Let’s keep our hands to ourselves when we’re in the store.”
  • Rather than “Hurry up!” try, “Put your shoes on so we’re ready to go.” Instead of saying, “Be careful!” try, “Hold onto the railing as you go down the stairs.” This gives them a specific action that promotes safety.




What is positive parenting?

Mazillo’s approach is part of a positive parenting philosophy that guides children with empathy, love and respect. The approach emphasizes building strong relationships, clear communication and teaching through encouragement rather than punishment.

Parenting author and public speaker Kara Carerro agrees with Mazzillo’s approach. “We must affirm what our children need to do. Rather than discipline and teach them by telling them what not to do, it’s a lot easier to tell them exactly what we want them to do. In telling a child not to hit, maybe he thinks, ‘Well, can I kick?’” she writes at Extremely Good Parenting. “In the end, my parenting has become much more intentional, using negative language and ‘no’ less and coming up with a more positive approach. It makes the power of ‘no’ retain its meaning and has created clear boundaries for my children.”

Ultimately, Mazillo’s positive parenting approach effectively communicates to your child what they should be doing instead of what they shouldn’t. So, it’s unsurprising that it helps them develop good listening skills, too. “If we want to be crystal clear so that our children understand what we want them to do, then make sure when you're telling them what to do, you use it in a positive phrase and avoid using those no and don't statements,” Mazzillo concludes her video.

A woman is complimented on her laugh.

Being the recipient of a great compliment can be really uplifting, especially if it is unexpected and makes you feel great about something you’re insecure about. Whether it’s our looks, personality, or how we handle our jobs, there’s always something we don’t feel right about and when someone gives an honest compliment, it can make you feel like a million bucks.

The great Mark Twain once said: “I can live for two months on a good compliment.”

Some compliments, when given by the right person at the right time, can be so powerful that they change the way we see ourselves. A Redditor named Curious-Repair-2606 asked people to share a “compliment you’ll never forget,” and nearly 2,000 people recounted the positive remarks they'll always remember.

The thread is a beautiful reminder to all of us to stop holding back on compliments and give them as freely as possible—that is, of course, if they are genuine.




Here are 17 of the best compliments that people will never forget.

1. "I wish you were my dad"

"Son's girlfriend: 'I wish you were my dad.' Could have cried."

2. "You're cute"

"A drunk girl at a concert told me I was cute. Still holding onto that one 5 years later."

3. A different type of guy

"She told me I was a 'man written by a woman.' Still not sure if it was a blessing or a curse I didn't pick up on the hint."

"As a lady, that usually means you’re doing a lot of things right. You’re a woman’s ideal."

"Definitely sounds like a blessing. Women often write fiction with emotionally competent, kind, passionate, hardworking men as the lead, so I'd say she was complimenting you."

4. "You're so beautiful"

"My fiancée Kayla, a few weeks before I lost her in a car accident, was watching me while I was doing something around our small apartment. She just kept smiling at me, and I asked her, 'Whatca smiling at baby?' She said so sweetly. 'You! You’re so beautiful.' I melted. As a man. I’ve never had such a wonderful compliment. My face turned bright red. She always made me smile."



5. The best dad

"My old boss and best friend were having lunch with a client and the subject of kids because the client was expecting. My boss said 'If you want to know how to be a good parent look at him (me) he's the best father I've ever known.'"

"That's a great compliment."

6. You're calm

"A friend called me calm and collected while I was dealing with social anxiety. They didn't know it, ofc m, but it made me question how I perceive myself compared to how others see me and helped me regain my self-confidence."

7. A princess

"When I was leaving my house for senior prom, a little girl walked by with her dad and said, 'Look, Daddy, a princess!' And i cried all my makeup off."

8. A great conversationalist

"14 years ago, a man sitting next to me on an airplane told me that I was the best conversationalist he'd ever met. He pointed to his headphones and said that he never talks to anyone on flights, but talked to me the whole time because I was so interesting to talk to. He gave me his business card and said he'd give me a sales job right now. It was SUCH a powerful complement that it changed the trajectory of my life and made me a much more confident person. Thanks, Monty, wherever you are now."



9. Radio voice

“'You have a great voice for radio.' Oddly enough I’ve gotten that same compliment a few times. Random for sure but was nice to hear."

"Same. I sometimes respond with 'Thanks. My wife also tells me that I have the face for radio too.'"

10. Great laugh

"Someone once told me my laugh could light up a room and it stuck with me."

11. Word to your mother

"I was 20 years old and working the ticket counter at the Amtrak station and I was chatting with a customer from Germany who was traveling solo around the US. It seemed like a friendly and standard conversation. I helped her with a smile, and she thanked me and walked away. Twenty minutes later she came back to my counter and handed me a small box of chocolate-covered blueberries and said, 'Please tell your mother she did a wonderful job raising you' and headed off to her gate. She didn't know that I had lost my mother to a drug overdose a couple months prior and was absolutely devastated on the inside. That single compliment and interaction has stuck with me for 22 years and I still think about that moment when I'm in a dark place. Wherever you are, friendly German tourist, thank you for giving me the strength to get through all those years ago."

12. Good-looking couple

"My ex and I were at Waffle House, and the waitress said, 'Wow, you two look like a couple out of a soap opera.' She sounded like that was a good thing."



13. A lively compliment

"My best friend got married a few months ago. I traveled to her city and stayed at her house for a week or so to help out and support her. Her sister has a 9-year-old son, and we spent some time together. It was my first time meeting them. After I got home from the wedding, my friend told me that the little boy had said, 'She breathed life into the place.' I just can’t forget what he said.

14. Good vibes

"Someone told me they liked my vibe. I’ll never forget that because it was about my personality and not my looks or style or something in that realm."

15. Great veins

"A nurse once said I’d make a great heroin addict because my veins are very visible."

16. Any hair will do

"My ex’s mom said 'I’ve seen you with long hair, a short bob, a long bob, and now a pixie, and you look absolutely beautiful with any hairstyle you choose.' I will never forget this compliment. I hated my ex, but her mom was such a sweetheart."

17. Never letting go

"That it took me 41 years to find you and I’m never letting go of you. That’s what my partner said to me the day we decided that we were more than friends and since then, our lives are just full of love and mutual respect."

Joy

More than optimism: How to cultivate the world-changing power of hope

Optimism is a mindset. Hope is an action-oriented skill—and one that can be honed.

Hope is a skill.

Hope can be hard to find in tough times, and even when we catch a glimmer of hope, it can be hard to hold onto. And yet, the ability to remain hopeful in the face of hardship and adversity is an example of the human spirit we've seen displayed time and time again.

But what exactly is hope? How does hope differ from optimism, and how can we cultivate more of it in our lives?

Cynics may see hope as naive at best and as blind idealism at worst, but according to Thema Bryant, PhD, former president of the American Psychological Association, hope is really about staying open to the possibilities.

“Hope isn’t a denial of what is, but a belief that the current situation is not all that can be,” Bryant said, according to the APA. You can recognize something’s wrong, but also that it’s not the end of the story.”


People often think of hope and optimism as the same thing, but there are some key differences between them in the social psychology world. Optimism is a state of mind that sees the future through a positive lens and expects that it will be better than the present. Hope, on the other hand, is action-oriented. It involves having a goal for that positive future and making a concrete plan to move toward it.

“We often use the word ‘hope’ in place of wishing, like you hope it rains today or you hope someone’s well,” said Chan Hellman, PhD, a professor of psychology and founding director of University of Oklahoma's Hope Research Center. “But wishing is passive toward a goal, and hope is about taking action toward it.”

That sense of personal agency is the key difference between someone who is optimistic and someone who is hopeful, as the authors of the study, "Great expectations: A meta-analytic examination of optimism and hope," Gene M. Alarcon, Nathan A. Bowling and Steven Khazon wrote:

"Simply put, the optimistic person believes that somehow—either through luck, the actions of others, or one’s own actions—that his or her future will be successful and fulfilling. The hopeful person, on the other hand, believes specifically in his or her own capability for securing a successful and fulfilling future."

Both hope and optimism require a belief in a better future, but hope puts some of the power to make it happen into our own hands. And while hope and optimism are closely linked, they don't necessarily have to go together. As Arthur Brooks has pointed out, a person can be a hopeless optimist, believing in a better future but feeling helpless to do anything to create it, and a person can also be a hopeful pessimist who takes actions to improve things but still sees the future negatively.

Ideally, one would strive toward being an hopeful optimist. Why? Well, for one, both hope and optimism are good for our health, according to studies done on them. And secondly, hope is what motivates us to act. Without hope, we have a whole lot of people wishing for change but not actually doing anything about it.

But how do you become more hopeful if it doesn't come naturally? How do you hone hope?

An article on Psyche by Emily Esfahani Smith shared study findings on how to cultivate hope, which includes:

- Changing the story you tell yourself about adversity, remembering that hard times are temporary

- Focusing on the things you have control over, like your routines, habits and the way you treat other people

- Reframing obstacles as challenges to overcome rather than immovable limitations

- Looking to your past successes instead of your past failures

- Asking yourself what you hope for and then continuing to answer until you find an attainable goal

- Envisioning that goal and mapping out a plan to move towards it

Being hopeful about your own future may feel like a different beast than having hope in humanity's future, but we all have a role to play in creating a better world and hope is the driver strives to make it happen. As Augustine of Hippo allegedly said, "Hope has two beautiful daughters; their names are Anger and Courage. Anger at the way things are, and Courage to see that they do not remain as they are." If we find ourselves angry at the way things are, we need to find the courage to act. The question of what actions to take may remain, but we need the belief and conviction to act that hope provides in order to figure it out.

Most importantly to remember is that hope is a choice. It may not come naturally or easily to everyone, but hope is something we can choose to nurture in ourselves as well as encourage in others.