A young boy with his hands over his ears.
There isn’t a parent alive who doesn’t get tired of constantly correcting their child’s behavior by saying, “Don’t do this” or “Stop doing that.” What makes things even worse is that it can feel like no matter how many times we tell our kids to “stop standing on the couch” or “don’t slam the door,” they never seem to listen.
Jenna Mazzillo says that kids may not be responding to our “stop no don’ts” because they aren’t sure what they should be doing instead. Mazzillo shared her thoughts in a recent Instagram reel that was a big help to many frustrated parents. Mazzillo is a board-certified behavior analyst and special education teacher with 13 years of experience who goes by @abanaturally on Instagram,
How do I get my kids to listen?
“Here's the thing about when we use those ‘don't’ and ‘no’ statements. We're never telling our children what they should be doing. What should they be doing instead?” she said. “Additionally, we're just drawing attention to the very thing that we don't want our children to be doing.”
Mazillo’s advice makes a lot of sense. Learning the correct thing to do is impossible when we are only told what we shouldn’t be doing.
“So what should we do instead?” Mazzillo continued. “Tell our children exactly what we want them to be doing. Instead of saying, ‘Don't put your feet on the chair,’ we would want to say, ‘Put your feet down.’ Instead of saying, ‘Don't talk to me like that,’ tell your child exactly what you want them to say.”
Mazzillo shared some examples of how to implement her positive approach on Instagram.
- Instead of saying, “Be careful!” try, “Hold onto the railing as you go down the stairs.” This gives them a specific action that promotes safety.
- Instead of “Don’t touch that!” try, “Let’s keep our hands to ourselves when we’re in the store.”
- Rather than “Hurry up!” try, “Put your shoes on so we’re ready to go.” Instead of saying, “Be careful!” try, “Hold onto the railing as you go down the stairs.” This gives them a specific action that promotes safety.
What is positive parenting?
Mazillo’s approach is part of a positive parenting philosophy that guides children with empathy, love and respect. The approach emphasizes building strong relationships, clear communication and teaching through encouragement rather than punishment.
Parenting author and public speaker Kara Carerro agrees with Mazzillo’s approach. “We must affirm what our children need to do. Rather than discipline and teach them by telling them what not to do, it’s a lot easier to tell them exactly what we want them to do. In telling a child not to hit, maybe he thinks, ‘Well, can I kick?’” she writes at Extremely Good Parenting. “In the end, my parenting has become much more intentional, using negative language and ‘no’ less and coming up with a more positive approach. It makes the power of ‘no’ retain its meaning and has created clear boundaries for my children.”
Ultimately, Mazillo’s positive parenting approach effectively communicates to your child what they should be doing instead of what they shouldn’t. So, it’s unsurprising that it helps them develop good listening skills, too. “If we want to be crystal clear so that our children understand what we want them to do, then make sure when you're telling them what to do, you use it in a positive phrase and avoid using those no and don't statements,” Mazzillo concludes her video.
A Generation Jones teenager poses in her room.Image via Wikmedia Commons
An office kitchen.via 
An angry man eating spaghetti.via 
An Irish woman went to the doctor for a routine eye exam. She left with bright neon green eyes.
It's not easy seeing green.
Did she get superpowers?
Going to the eye doctor can be a hassle and a pain. It's not just the routine issues and inconveniences that come along when making a doctor appointment, but sometimes the various devices being used to check your eyes' health feel invasive and uncomfortable. But at least at the end of the appointment, most of us don't look like we're turning into The Incredible Hulk. That wasn't the case for one Irish woman.
Photographer Margerita B. Wargola was just going in for a routine eye exam at the hospital but ended up leaving with her eyes a shocking, bright neon green.
At the doctor's office, the nurse practitioner was prepping Wargola for a test with a machine that Wargola had experienced before. Before the test started, Wargola presumed the nurse had dropped some saline into her eyes, as they were feeling dry. After she blinked, everything went yellow.
Wargola and the nurse initially panicked. Neither knew what was going on as Wargola suddenly had yellow vision and radioactive-looking green eyes. After the initial shock, both realized the issue: the nurse forgot to ask Wargola to remove her contact lenses before putting contrast drops in her eyes for the exam. Wargola and the nurse quickly removed the lenses from her eyes and washed them thoroughly with saline. Fortunately, Wargola's eyes were unharmed. Unfortunately, her contacts were permanently stained and she didn't bring a spare pair.
- YouTube youtube.com
Since she has poor vision, Wargola was forced to drive herself home after the eye exam wearing the neon-green contact lenses that make her look like a member of the Green Lantern Corps. She couldn't help but laugh at her predicament and recorded a video explaining it all on social media. Since then, her video has sparked a couple Reddit threads and collected a bunch of comments on Instagram:
“But the REAL question is: do you now have X-Ray vision?”
“You can just say you're a superhero.”
“I would make a few stops on the way home just to freak some people out!”
“I would have lived it up! Grab a coffee, do grocery shopping, walk around a shopping center.”
“This one would pair well with that girl who ate something with turmeric with her invisalign on and walked around Paris smiling at people with seemingly BRIGHT YELLOW TEETH.”
“I would save those for fancy special occasions! WOW!”
“Every time I'd stop I'd turn slowly and stare at the person in the car next to me.”
“Keep them. Tell people what to do. They’ll do your bidding.”
In a follow-up Instagram video, Wargola showed her followers that she was safe at home with normal eyes, showing that the damaged contact lenses were so stained that they turned the saline solution in her contacts case into a bright Gatorade yellow. She wasn't mad at the nurse and, in fact, plans on keeping the lenses to wear on St. Patrick's Day or some other special occasion.
While no harm was done and a good laugh was had, it's still best for doctors, nurses, and patients alike to double-check and ask or tell if contact lenses are being worn before each eye test. If not, there might be more than ultra-green eyes to worry about.