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Mom took her teenage son to the ER, and the doctor seriously doubted their relationship

"They doubted I was the parent."

via Coffe4LifeSage/TikTok

A young mom with her kids in the ER.

Sage Pasch’s unique family situation has attracted a lot of attention recently. The 20-something mother of 2 shared a 6-second TikTok video on September 29 that has been viewed over 33 million times because it shows how hard it can be for young moms to be taken seriously.

In the video, the young-looking Pasch took her son Nick to the ER after he injured his leg at school. But when the family got to the hospital, the doctor couldn’t believe Pasch was his mother. “POV, we’re at the ER, and the doctor didn’t believe I was the parent,” she captioned the post.

Pasch and her fiancé , Luke Faircloth, adopted the teen in 2022 after his parents tragically died two years apart. “Nick was already spending so much time with us, so it made sense that we would continue raising him,” Pasch told Today.com.

The couple also has a 17-month-old daughter named Lilith.

@coffee4lifesage

He really thought i was lying😭

Pasch says that people are often taken aback by her family when they are out in public. "Everybody gets a little confused because my fiancé and I are definitely younger to have a teenager," she said. "It can be very frustrating."

It may be hard for the young parents to be taken seriously, but their story has made a lot of people in a similar situation feel seen. "Omg, I feel this. I took my son to the ER, and they asked for the guardian. Yes, hi, that's me," Brittany wrote in the comments. "Meee with my teenager at a parent-teacher conference. They think I’m her older sister and say we need to talk with your parents," KatMonroy added.


This article originally appeared on 10.24.23

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Family

Couple admits they fight in front of their kids and encourage other parents to do the same

In their 'unpopular opinion," it can be a great way for kids to learn how to navigate conflict.

@nikadiw/TikTok

There's a difference between fighting and disagreeing.

Arguments are an inevitable part of parenting. And whether or not to let kids witness those disputes in an interesting conversation that we don't hear about very often.

When disagreements turn into full on fights, with name calling and yelling, it can be a very painful and stressful experience for the kid. But if handled well, it could be a chance to see how mom and dad can navigate through inevitable difficulties, instilling an example for the future.

Nika Diwa and her husband seem to share the latter stance, sharing in a now viral TikTok that they do “fight” in front of their kids, and in their “unpopular opinion” think other parents should do the same.

In the clip, it seems that Diwa and her husband are having a disagreement, but one that never results in any kind of abusive behavior, and instead seems to end on a fairly positive note. All while their child rests in her lap.

@nikadiwa Unpopular opinion but… 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏿‍♂️ #parenting #conflictresolution #teachingkids ♬ Little Things - Adrian Berenguer

“It’s important for kids to learn how to navigate healthy conflict,” Diwa writes. “We let them watch mom and dad disagree respectfully and work towards unity and resolution. This helps set them up for healthy conflict resolution as they grow up.”

And here’s where we get into a bit of discourse over semantics. Diwa’s video soon spurned comments arguing that what she and her husband actually showed was a disagreement, not a fight at all. Which folks generally concurred was the healthy option. But actual fighting would have been another story.

Others noted how even non-hostile arguments could still be triggering depending on the topic. One person wrote, “I think it depends. I have a lot of trauma from listening to my parents argue about finances.”

Still, many viewers noted how this was a refreshing take compared to how they grew up. “As some whose parents always tried to hide their arguments, this is SO wonderful. Healthy conflict resolution. It’s ok to disagree,” one person commented.

And what do experts think? In her contributing article for the Gottman Institute, Melissa Benaroya, MSW, LICSW, writes that indeed, arguing in front of your kid can actually be beneficial, depending on HOW the argument is handled.

“If arguments happen frequently or they are hostile, physical, aggressive, or include stonewalling, silent treatment, or insults, it can definitely be harmful to children,” she says. “Children who are exposed to this type of conflict will often become anxious, distressed, sad, angry, and depressed.”

kids, parenting, arguing in front of kids, marriage

Children learn by watching adults

Canva

However, she notes that “children learn to manage conflict by observing how the adults in their life manage disagreements and strong emotions,” suggesting that if parents do develop good communication strategies, ones that focus on collaboration, empathy and perspective-taking, listening and validating feelings, that it can help kids understand how to emulate a similar behavior.

No parent is going to be perfect at all times. And perhaps seeing how to handle all those inevitable imperfections of adulthood with grace and compassion is one of the greatest gifts parents can pass down to children.

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Pop Culture

Woman who opens food at the grocery store before paying has started a huge debate over shopping ethics

Is it okay to snack on groceries while you shop?

@cecilybauchmann/TikTok

We may never reach an agreement on this.

To snack, or not to snack while grocery shopping? That is the question. At least, that’s been the question for as long as grocery stores have existed: Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer through "hanger" and cravings, or take into your arms precious sustenance that fuels you through the shopping trip, so long as you pay for it later.

Apparently, there is very little gray area with this subject. People seem to have very, very strong opinions as to whether or not eating food at the grocery store is appropriate behavior.

Case in point—the heated comments that were ignited after TikTok influencer Cecily Bauchmann filmed herself placing an empty sushi container on the checkout conveyor belt.

“I also opened this in store. I’m sorry, I was so hungry!” Bauchmann explains to the cashier through a giggle.

As she revealed in her caption, this is a regular shopping routine. “Me every time at the grocery store,” she wrote. “Opening food at the grocery store is a normal thing.”

@cecilybauchmann OPENING FOOD IS A NORMAL THING AT THE GROCERY STORE K?🍓✨#relatablemom #relatablemomlife #groceryshopping #groceryhaul #grocerystore ♬ original sound - Cecily Bauchmann

And thus, the war was waged.

“My mama never let us do this and I get lowkey embarrassed when anyone I’m with does this :///” one person wrote.

“Idc how hungry I am, I'd never do this,” another wrote.

One even called out: “It isn’t mine until I pay for it. In my head it’s considered stealing.”

On the other hand, several sided with Bauchmann, saying that they do it themselves when hunger strikes.

“I do that too. If you pay for it at the end then I see no problem,” one person commented.

Many noted that for parents with hungry (and impatient) kiddos, pre-checkout snacking is the only real option for a smooth shopping experience.

“My mom only does this sometimes if we go grocery shopping and my lil siblings really want it,” one person shared.

“I let my child eat a bag of goldfish we hadn’t paid for yet while at Target. I didn’t know this was a controversy?” another seconded.

Even cashiers couldn’t seem to agree.

“When I’m a cashier I get annoyed sometimes when people hand me their trash to scan,” one noted.

Another argued, “I’m a cashier, it’s pretty common lol. I just offer to throw it away for them if it’s empty.”

Still, another wrote, “I worked at a grocery store for 5 years. As long as you don’t eat food that’s cost is by weight and you don’t make a mess it’s fine.”

Zero consensus to be had.

Morals and etiquette aside, what’s the legal stance on this? In the UK, the answer is definitive. It is against the law to snack while you shop. But in the United States, things aren’t so well defined.

According to Betty Wang, attorney and contributor to Find Law, U.S. law requires two elements in order to define an activity as shoplifting. One, taking the item (duh) and two, intentionally evading checking the item out.

Therefore, the argument of “as long as they pay for it later” does somewhat hold up in court, so to speak. However, things change when an item is priced by weight, since you are technically not paying for that which was already consumed.

Also, most stores have individual discretion known as shopkeeper's privilege, meaning that, legally speaking, there really is more of a gray area. Basically, unless you get called out for the snacking by an employee or loss-prevention officer, it’s pretty fair game.


Will there ever be a general consensus on this? Maybe not. We humans have very different moral codes a lot of the time, even when it comes to mundane activities. Sometimes you never know what seemingly harmless thing to you is actually a social faux pas to someone else. But hey, it keeps things interesting.

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Parenting

Mom's hot take on the concept of 'it takes a village' has people nodding in agreement

She's not wrong.

@thehindirlanefamily/TikTok

The village comes with a price tag.

“It takes a village to raise a child.” First it was an African proverb, then a mainstream phrase to convey the indisputable fact that raising a child is no solo job. But now, in a time where mothers are left by and large without a community (save for maybe the countless online parent groups), that expression seems synonymous with a bygone era.

But the thing is—while the times have changed, the necessity of support has not. Which leaves many frustrated mothers wondering where to turn.

One mom is going viral for bluntly telling it like it is: The village is still there, but now it comes at a price.

The woman, Chancè Hindirlane, had stitched another mom’s TikTok video urging others to stop telling moms “it takes a village” when they essentially don’t have one.

Hindirlane responded by saying, “What we need to do is start telling mothers that the village is no longer free.” Therefore, part of the family planning process needs to go into building one.

“We need to start telling future mothers to financially plan ahead for their village. Plan ahead for a nanny. Plan ahead for a housekeeper. Plan ahead for a meal prep. Plan ahead for a postpartum care nurse,” she says.

And it’s not just support staff women should be thinking ahead about. They should also be taught from a young age to look for partners who are willing to take on the responsibilities of parenthood and able to divide labor equally.

“We need to start telling future mothers to pick their partner wisely. Not only pick a man who wants kids, but pick a man who also wants to be a father. We need to start telling them to talk about the division of labor super early on in their relationship.”

No, moms are not meant to do it all alone. But in order to get the help they need, Hindirlane attests, they’ll have to adapt with the times. This is perhaps a little daunting, given how expensive the cost of living already is, but it’s still valuable insight and hard to argue with.

Bottom line: There’s no such thing as a free lunch. Or a free village. So plan accordingly.

Hindirlane’s words struck a chord with hundreds of viewers, many of whom had also witnessed this shift.

“I was a nanny/household manager and it really taught me how insane it is to expect a mom to do it alone,” shared one person.

"'The village is not free’ took my breath away. Nothing is truer. Had I known sooner, I absolutely would’ve planned differently,” added another.

One viewer suggested that couples should “cut back on wedding expenses” and instead get counseling as partners for financial planning. Not only is that a solid point but it also illuminates the collective shift away from certain traditions in favor of decisions that feel more practical, partially out of new ways of thinking and partially out of pure necessity.

Of course, one cannot always simply plan their way out of a faulty financial system. Childcare can range from $5,357 to $17,171, depending on the child’s age and where a family lives, despite childcare staff receiving some of the lowest wages in the country.

With each child accounting for 8% and 19.3% of a family’s income, many are simply priced out and many mothers are forced to stay at home because they’d only be working to afford childcare. Clearly not a winning scenario.

While what should be done systematically to improve these conditions for families is a whole ‘nother conversation, it is a good reminder that a thought-out plan is never a bad thing.

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