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Mom shares the major reason why people can't afford to have children and how to change it

via Canva/Photos

A couple realizes that can't afford having a child.

Since 2014, the U.S. birthrate has declined by about 2% a year. In 2023, just 3.59 million babies were born, the lowest number since 1979, when the overall US population was about 120 million lower. The precipitous drop in the American birthrate could lead to significant problems with the social safety net because there won't be enough young workers to pay into social security to take care of retired people.

In 2023, the fertility rate was 1.6 births per woman, significantly lower than the 2.1 births per woman necessary to sustain the population. There are many reasons why people aren't having as many children as they did in the past. A big one is that modern American life provides people with so many different lifestyle options that people believe they can live a fulfilled life without children. Others are also concerned about bringing a child into the world, given the state of the environment.

Cost is a significant factor among those who want to have children but are putting it off until their financial situation improves. Thirty-six percent of childless people under 50 say they cannot afford a child. A big reason for the cost is childcare, which has increased 36% over the past decade.

@sheisapaigeturner

People are choosing to have no kids or fewer kids because they simply cannot afford them. The cost of childcare has gone up exponentially over the last 10 to 20 years. On average in the state of Massachusetts it’s about $20,000 a year per child. These rates are unsustainable for most families, which is why more and more people choosing not to have children. Affordable childcare would not only benefit families and children, but it would benefit our economy and society as a whole ##childcare##daycare##daycarelife##childcarecrisis##millennialmom##momsoftiktok##newparents##workingmom

Paige Connell, known as @sheisapaigeturner on TikTok, is a working mom of four who, after seeing what it costs for childcare in Massachusetts, took to TikTok to call for change. “How do you afford kids here? Because nobody knows how anybody is paying for this," Connell shared. “For an infant, for five days a week with 10 hours of care is $664 a week. That is just shy of $35,000 a year for one child, and the price does not drop that much when they hit pre-K,” noting that it costs $521 a week for a child in pre-K, about $28,000 a year.

Things get worse when parents have multiple children to go to daycare, which could run up to $60,000 yearly. Who has an extra $60,000 lying around to pay for childcare? “That is unsustainable for most families. And yes, the cost goes down slightly as they get older, but that doesn't account for that rate sheet, [which is] the annual increase every single September," Conell continues.

childcare, daycare costs, inflationA teacher taking care of children at a daycare.via Canva/Photos

Things get even more dire as the costs of mortgages and other necessities have risen astronomically over the past few years. "The older generations have zero idea how serious younger people are when they say we can't afford kids," TwinDadTim wrote in the comments. "Yup. My husband and I are both professionals who make good money, and we just had our first (and likely only) child. Daycare, diapers, and formula together cost as much as our mortgage," J.TT added.

Connell believes that the only way to solve this is for the government to subsidize childcare costs, as they do in many other developed countries. Americans spend the highest percentage of their incomes on daycare compared to other developed nations. “If we had affordable childcare, it would not only benefit families and children it would benefit the economy. It would benefit businesses and it would benefit us as a greater society. The economy would be better for it,” Connell concludes her video. “This is not just a parent problem, right? But like people constantly are looking at adults who are married or of birthing years and saying, ‘Why aren't you having kids? And we’re looking around saying, ‘How could we possibly have kids when we can't even afford to buy a house?’”

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Her daughter said she doesn't want to be 'big' like her. She responded with perfect composure.

People are supporting her for her heartfelt honesty.

via MissMommyMack/TikTok and Social cut/Unsplash

TikTokker Mackenzie Waddell shares a heartfelt story about her daughter.

A mother on TikTok shared a heartfelt moment when her 9-year-old daughter opened up about her self-image concerns, wondering about her appearance as she grows up. The story was a wonderful example of a mother delicately dealing with an issue that far too many young women face. It was also a difficult moment because the conversation brought up the mother's body issues as well.

The conversation happened while the two were clothes shopping at Target. “My 9-year-old’s saying she's fat, and this is because she has to wear adult sizes versus kids 'cause she's really tall, just like me,” Mackenzie Waddell told her 222,000 followers.

“She kept calling herself ‘fat’ and that she had too big of a butt and that the other kids her age don't have to wear adult clothes,” Waddell continued. “I reminded her that I, too, had to wear adult clothes when I was her age 'cause I was really tall just like she is.”

@missmommymack

Im so devastated that she feels that way about herself. 💔

The discussion led to a question that was hard for the mother to hear.

“... she asked me if she was gonna look like me when she grew up. And I asked her, ‘Do you mean big like me? When you grow up?’ And she said, ‘Yes. I'm not trying to be mean mom, but I want to look like Aunt Sarah, not you,’” she recalled.

Her daughter’s remarks hit her right in the heart, but she responded with perfect composure. "I kept a brave face and said, 'As long as you are happy and healthy, and you love yourself, that's all that matters. No matter what size you are,” Waddell said.

The mother was sure not to take it personally, but it still cut close to the bone. “And was I hurt? Yeah, I was. But she didn't mean to hurt me. It just really sucked. Yeah,” she concluded.

The post went viral, receiving over 1.7 million views and over 2,000 comments. The most popular commenter thought that Waddell should tell her daughter to avoid commenting on people’s weight.

"You should tell her she hurt your feelings. She needs to know. You did a great job supporting her in how she feels. She has to learn that skill also," Char8201 wrote.

However, many women responded with nothing but love for how Waddell handled such a challenging situation. "You responded beautifully, momma. She’s still learning and these are the moments where we provide that guidance, even when it hurts," Mavv13 wrote. "Oh mama. Thank god she feels comfortable to talk to you openly," tirrelltribe added.

After the tremendous response to her video, Waddell responded with another post, educating people about how one’s weight doesn’t necessarily mean they eat unhealthily. “A lot of people like to assume that plus-size people don’t know how to eat healthy or are unhealthy. When, in fact, we’re not,” Waddle said.

She added that her daughter lives a healthy lifestyle but she avoids having conversations about weight with her because “That’s what traumatized me.”

@missmommymack

Replying to @user3838812846970 she will always be perfect, no matter what.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Mom says kids need to 'entertain each other' on playdates because she isn't doing it.

"I’m not producing the fun.”

via cottonbro studio/Pexels

Children playing with blocks.

One woman wonders if she somehow “missed a whole chapter in mom lessons” for her more laissez faire attitude towards playdates.

In a video posted to her TikTok, Lisa Pontius shared that she doesn’t organize playdates when her daughter has friends over, but instead gives them “free reign” to “do their own thing.”

“You know the rules, you’re almost 10, you’re good, you’re on your own. I’ll make lunch, I’ll make snacks, I’ll help you open things, but I’m not producing the fun,” she said.

After seeing how other families handle playdates, however, Pontius feels that her approach “controversial.”

“When I send my kids to other people’s houses, they’re like, ‘Yeah, we made model robots and we went to the zoo,’” she quipped.

Pontius did add a disclaimer, saying “Don’t get me wrong: I love that for the other moms — you want to bake cookies with my kid with five other kids over? Have a blast.”

But for her, “The playdate’s the activity…I thought the whole point of having another kid over is so that they would just play with their stuff and entertain each other.” And while the kids are entertaining themselves, she’s catching up on chores and laundry.

Pontius then asked viewers to weigh in, saying “When your kids have friends over, do you have pre-set activities that you know that you’re going to bring out for them to do? Or do you just let them be kids and have free rein of the house and their toys?”

“ ... If I’m the only one ... I’m going to start coming up with an itinerary.”


@itsme_lisap Do you have a playdate itinerary? #momlife #momsoftiktok #playdate ♬ original sound - Lisa P


Judging by the comments, Pontius certainly doesn't need to feel alone. Plenty of other parents shared how they too opt for more hands-off playdates.

“The playdate definitely is the activity! Kids need free play. Seriously. I’m a parenting educator.”

“The social connection is the activity. It gives them time to learn to compromise, talk, be creative and just enjoy being themselves.”

“I never prearrange activities. Maybe we’ll go somewhere occasionally, but I don’t figure out activities in our home. I think kids need to learn to entertain themselves as a vital skill!”

“I would plan for maybe up to 3 or 4 years old but not beyond. They need to use their imaginations!”

Mom of three here. They are all grown now but in my playdate era, IALWAYs left them to their own imagination and energy. Occasionally we’d have something available as a special activity but not always.”

"We're supposed to plan something?"

Others countered that sometimes, some structure is beneficial. Necessary even—depending on kids’ ages and personalities.

“Depends on the friends. Some act too feral and trash our house so I have to plan.”

“It always depended on which friends were coming over. Some kids needed a combination of organized and free play.”

“I have a backup activity if they need help getting started because toddlers can be weird and just stare at each other.”

Honestly, these are all valid points. Structured activities and free play both have equally important roles in a kid’s life.

One helps them learn how to follow rules and achieve a goal while the other stimulates their imagination and independence. As with most things, balance is key.

And for many kids already attending school (which, minus recess, is a pretty much all structured activities), maybe a playdate where they set the pace is exactly what’s needed to achieve said balance.

Point being, every kid needs a little something different. So whether parents are team #plannedactivity or #freeplayFTW, there’s no reason to feel like they’re doing parenting wrong somehow.

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Mom's hilarious grocery cashier character created during playtime has people rolling

Mom Aubrey Sanchez might have invented "Rosey" for her daughter, but now everyone is entertained.

@aubreysanchezx3/TikTok

We've all met Rosey.

Playing pretend isn’t always something that comes as naturally to adults as it does to kids. But as we become more aware of just how important playtime is to a child’s development, more and more parents are rolling up their imaginary sleeves to put in the work.

Of course, some parents have absolutely no problem committing to the bit. Aubrey Sanchez is clearly one of those parents.

On January 1st, Sanchez debuted Rosey, a salty-but-charming grocery cashier created during a bit of play time spent with her daughter, in a video clip that racked up a whopping 61.3 million views on TikTok.

Rest assured, anyone who’s stepped foot into a grocery store has met Rosey, which makes it oh-so hilarious. From her long nails that go clickety-clackety on the keys of her toy cash register, to the blasé way she asks for “clean-up in aisle three” to her signature sarcastic catchphrase, “that’s a blessing,” people simply can’t get enough.

@aubreysanchezx3 🤣🤣 say hi to rosey 🤣🤣🤣 #cashierlife #cashiersbelike #cleanupinaisle3 #funny #momsoftiktok #momsbelike #momsover30 #momtok #momsplaytime #toys #cashier #aubreysanchez #nyc #momlife #fyp #foryou #foryourpage #aubreysanchez #pregnanttiktok #graciecandlco ♬ original sound - Aubreysanchezx3

“Canceling the Netflix and Paramount subscriptions right now for this show,” one person wrote.

Another added, “If you did 45 minutes straight, I’d watch till the end.”

Sanchez has even added several new dimensions to Rosey’s story.

For one thing, she’s a hard worker, as seen by her “Employee of the Month” award hanging in the background of another video. This is especially well earned since she is constantly having to deal with Bobby, her imaginary coworker, never being around when she needs him—not even when there’s a difficult customer.
@aubreysanchezx3 Rosey working o.t 😂😂 #cashierlife #cashiersbelike #cleanupinaisle3 #funny #rosey #momsoftiktok #playtime #momsbelike #momsover30 #momtok #momsplaytime #toys #cashier #aubreysanchez #nyc #momlife #fyp #foryou #foryourpage #pregnanttiktok ♬ original sound - Aubreysanchezx3

Rosey also has multiple interests, including some nice relaxing tea time, doing her own shopping, and of course sharing in some workplace gossip.

@aubreysanchezx3 The customer that’s always so extra 🤣🤣🤌🏽#funny #cashierlife #funnycashier #cashierproblems #inflation #fyp #foryou #foryourpage #rosey #groceryshopping #momsoftiktok #momsbelike #momsover30 #kidsdontcare #playtime #rosey #cashiertok ♬ original sound - Aubreysanchezx3

Clearly everyone is having so much fun with these, including Sanchez’s daughter, who even dons the cashier apron from time to time. Though she does overcharge mom for a reusable bag when she does.

Maybe not everyone can create full blown characters like Rosey, but there are dozens of ways to incorporate play in a way that can satisfy both parents and kids. In her book “Joyful Toddlers and Preschoolers: Create a Life that You and Your Child Both Love,” parenting coach Faith Collins even assures that sharing in household chores together can count. In fact, according to some studies, they might even prefer it to playing pretend.

The point is: playtime is so important for kids. But that doesn’t mean it has to be a drain for adults. And who knows, maybe filming it all on TikTok is the very thing needed in this modern age to make it enjoyable for the whole “fambily,” as Rosey would say.

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