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A 3-year-old gave her mom a 25-word master class on what forgiveness really means.

"Tonight I was taught a lesson in forgiveness by a three year old. It was a gut punch, too."

Mom and blogger Mary Katherine Backstrom regularly shares snippets of life with her two children on her Facebook page. One particularly touching interaction with her daughter is melting hearts and blowing minds due to the three-year-old's wise words about forgiveness.

Even adults struggle with the concept of forgiveness. Entire books have been written about how and why to forgive those who have wronged us, but many still have a hard time getting it.

Who would guess that a preschooler could encapsulate what forgiveness means in a handful of innocent words?

Backstrom told the story in a now viral Facebook post:

"My daughter and I just had a knock-down, drag-out bedtime hour. Finally, about ten minutes ago, I put her to bed and through clinched teeth said 'I love you, Holland, but not another word tonight. You are going to sleep now. I'm done fussing over stuffed animals.'

'Mommy?'

I paused on the way out the door, literally biting my tongue I was so frustrated.

'What is it, Holland?'

'I DO have one more thing to say.'

Of course she did. She was standing on the bed with her hands on her hips, too. Her hair was wild and she was using her arm to wipe her tears and snot away from her face.

'Mommy,' my three year old said, staring me down with venom in her tiny voice...

'I FORGIVE YOU!!!'

Then she laid down and cried and honest to goodness, for a hot minute, I didn't know what to do.

The way she said 'I forgive you,' made it sound like cuss words.

I walked over to the bedside and leaned over.

'Baby girl, do you know what forgiveness means?'

She was still sniffling, her face shoved deep into her Little Mermaid pillow.

'Yes,' she muttered.

I really had to hear this.

'It means you were wrong, and I'm tired of being mad, and now I'm going to sleep and my heart won't have a tummy ache.'

So there you have it, folks.

Tonight I was taught a lesson in forgiveness by a three year old. It was a gut punch, too. And you're dang right I climbed in that bed and loved on her.

Because to be honest, MY heart had a bit of a tummy ache.

I was reminded by my toddler to never go to bed in anger. Because when you do, your heart will have a tummy ache.

And you know what? I've been alive for 35 years, and I've got to give it to her:

She's not wrong."

According to experts, the preschooler really isn't wrong.

According to UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center:

"Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.

Just as important as defining what forgiveness is, though, is understanding what forgiveness is not. Experts who study or teach forgiveness make clear that when you forgive, you do not gloss over or deny the seriousness of an offense against you. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses. Though forgiveness can help repair a damaged relationship, it doesn't obligate you to reconcile with the person who harmed you, or release them from legal accountability.

Instead, forgiveness brings the forgiver peace of mind and frees him or her from corrosive anger. While there is some debate over whether true forgiveness requires positive feelings toward the offender, experts agree that it at least involves letting go of deeply held negative feelings. In that way, it empowers you to recognize the pain you suffered without letting that pain define you, enabling you to heal and move on with your life."

Basically, Holland said the same thing, just in 25 kid-friendly words.

The post has been shared more than 92,000 times, and Backstrom told Upworthy she was pleasantly surprised when it went viral.

"It makes me happy when heartwarming stories go viral," she said, "because I think it's a shared slice of humanity that everyone is finding in common. And in this case, the innocence and profound wisdom that at times comes from the mouths of children."

"I think children are able to speak profound truths," she added, "because they address complex emotions in simple ways. As adults we complicate our approach to conflict. We could learn a lot from toddlers who express their frustration, hug it out, forgive, and move on. It would certainly save us a few 'heart tummy aches.'"

Indeed it would. Thank you, Holland, for the sweet reminder.

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His View From Home/Facebook

A dad's viral shower door photo comes with a sweet recognition of his wife's work

So many stay-at-moms would love to receive this kind of acknowledgement from their partners.

Anyone who has been a stay-at-home mom knows that it's not easy. But many people who haven't been one assume that it can't be that hard. I mean, what's so hard about taking care of a baby or a toddler or two? Don't babies basically just lie there? Don't you have all kinds of free time while they nap?

It's hard to describe what it's like to those who haven't experienced the near-constant demands of hands-on, full-time mothering. I've had multiple jobs in my life, from flipping fast food burgers to teaching in public schools, and nothing compares to being a mom. Don't get me wrong, it's wonderful in a million ways, but it's friggin' hard. My kids are all in the double digits now, but I remember those early years of staying home with my wee ones and feeling totally and completely spent by the end of the day.

Many moms I know lament that their husbands don't seem to understand why they are so exhausted when "all they do" is "just stay home" with the kids all day.

That's probably why this dad's photo of a steamy shower door has resonated with so many.

It reads:

"I came home yesterday evening after working 12 hours. I went into the bathroom to get cleaned up and ready for dinner. I noticed my daughter's bassinet in the bathroom.

I asked my wife if she had put her in there, and how she did in it. She said she put her in it as she had showered during the day. We continued to talk about how good she had been and how much she's growing up and so forth.

This morning I came home from the gym and turned the shower on to get cleaned up for work. I turned to the door and saw where my wife wiped away the steam from the glass, so she could see our baby girl in the bassinet.

I literally just sat there and stared at the glass and smiled. I could see it, I imagined it, it was like I was there in the room with them. I could see Heather just looking through the glass and making faces at Lottie as she smiled and played in her bassinet! I just melted!

It's so crazy to me, how the smallest things can make me so appreciative of my wife. It's the little sacrifices my wife makes for this family, that would normally go unnoticed. From caring for our daughter 24/7, to caring for me, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the animals, and taking care of herself (yeah right, there's no time for that.)
It just makes me stop and think.

I work hard. I work long 10-12 hours days, I get tired, I have stressful days and that's my right, as the working member in the household. I have the right to be catered to hand and foot when I get off?!?
All she does is have to take care of a baby.

So, it should be that she cooks, and keeps the house clean, dishes washed, laundry clean and put up, animals tended to... and I'm a man, have I mentioned my needs yet?!?

I mean seriously, she's at home all day after all!

Mannnnn... I can't tell you how much this fogged up glass means to me!

The fact that my wife can't even shower without caring for someone else; tending to someone else's needs. She doesn't get a second to herself to relax.

My wife doesn't get to clock out, my wife doesn't get the satisfaction of seeing a check deposited in the bank in return for her hard work, my wife doesn't get to eat lunch with coworkers, my wife doesn't get to just walk outside and just take a deep breath.

This may be just a fogged-up piece of glass to some, but to me it means so much more. It's the little things like this that don't go unnoticed. it's the little things like this that constantly remind me how badass she is. it's the little things like this that make me fall in love with her all over again, Heather Williams!

Thank you for being the amazing woman you are... it doesn't go unnoticed!

I love you My Queen." 👑 ❤️

The fact that he saw in this smeared glass the sacrifices his wife makes being home with their baby is wonderful.

I know some will say this dad doesn't deserve a cookie simply for seeing his wife, but so many stay-at-moms would love to receive this kind of acknowledgement from their partners.

The reality is when you are taking care of a baby, you are "on" all the time. When the baby is asleep, you might get a chance to do some housework. Or you maybe get to close your eyes for a few moments to try to make up for the lack of sleep you got the night before from the baby waking you up to eat. Sometimes the kiddo won't stop crying and your nerves get fried by noon. Sometimes it's 2:00 in the afternoon, you're covered in breastmilk and spit up, you haven't showered, and you can't figure out where the time has gone. Once your baby is crawling or toddling, you can't take your eyes off them or they might literally die. There's pee and poop and every other bodily fluid you can think of, all day, every day. It's non-stop attention, non-stop need-meeting, non-stop love, but also non-stop work.

And then people ask you what you do all day.

More shower door recognition please, partners. Trust me, the mother of your children will appreciate it.

parenting

9 astounding photos this mom took to keep herself calm while giving birth.

Birth is intense. It's also beautiful.

New baby and a happy dad.

When San Francisco photographer Lisa Robinson was about to have her second child, she was both excited and nervous.

Sure, those are the feelings most moms-to-be experience before giving birth, but Lisa's nerves were tied to something different.

She and her husband already had a 9-year-old son but desperately wanted another baby. They spent years trying to get pregnant again, but after countless failed attempts and two miscarriages, they decided to stop trying.

Of course, that's when Lisa ended up becoming pregnant with her daughter, Anora. Since it was such a miraculous pregnancy, Lisa wanted to do something special to commemorate her daughter's birth.

So she turned to her craft — photography — as a way to both commemorate the special day, and keep herself calm and focused throughout the birthing process.

Normally, Lisa takes portraits and does wedding photography, so she knew the logistics of being her own birth photographer would be a somewhat precarious new adventure — to say the least.

She initially suggested the idea to her husband Alec as a joke.

"After some thought," she says, "I figured I would try it out and that it could capture some amazing memories for us and our daughter."

In the end, she says, Alec was supportive and thought it would be great if she could pull it off. Her doctors and nurses were all for Lisa taking pictures, too, especially because it really seemed to help her manage the pain and stress.

In the hospital, she realized it was a lot harder to hold her camera steady than she initially thought it would be.

She had labor shakes but would periodically take pictures between contractions.

"Eventually when it was time to push and I was able to take the photos as I was pushing, I focused on my daughter and my husband and not so much the camera," she says.

"I didn't know if I was in focus or capturing everything but it was amazing to do.”

The shots she ended up getting speak for themselves:

husbands and wives, intimacy, hospital rooms,

Lisa's husband Alec.

Hello Doc.

Warm and encouraging smiles from the nurse.

Hello, baby Anora!

An overcome father.

experiment, images, capture, document, record

Newborn Anora's first experience with breastfeeding.

"Everybody was supportive and kind of surprised that I was able to capture things throughout. I even remember laughing along with them at one point as I was pushing," Lisa recalled.

In the end, Lisa was so glad she went through with her experiment. She got incredible pictures — and it actually did make her labor easier.

Would she recommend every mom-to-be document their birth in this way? Absolutely not. What works for one person may not work at all for another.

However, if you do have a hobby that relaxes you, figuring out how to incorporate it into one of the most stressful moments in your life is a pretty good way to keep yourself calm and focused.

Expecting and love the idea of documenting your own birthing process?

Take some advice from Lisa: "Don't put pressure on yourself to get 'the shot'" she says, "and enjoy the moment as much as you can.”

Lisa's mom took this last one.

Mom and daughter earned the rest.

Photo via Lisa Robinson/Lisa Robinson Photography.

This article originally appeared on 06.30.16

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