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Emma Thompson reveals the detail that made her big 'Love Actually' scene so heartbreaking

Thompson beautifully explained the layers that make the scene so iconic.

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Emma Thompson's bedroom scene in "Love Actually" is a performance for the ages.

The 2003 film Love Actually is probably best known for its controversial-ish cue card scene, where Andrew Lincoln's character professes his love for a Keira Knightley by silently showing her cue cards, including the famous (or infamous) line, "To me, you are perfect."

But there's another scene in the film that doesn't get nearly the recognition it deserves. It's well-regarded, but not nearly well-regarded enough.

It's been over 20 years since Alan Rickman broke Emma Thompson's heart by buying that little office tart a necklace in Love Actually, and some of us still haven't forgiven him.

With its overlapping love stories set during Christmastime, the film has become a holiday classic, despite some controversy on whether or not it's actually any good. Some people love it, some people hate it, but no one can deny that Thompson gives an Oscar-worthy performance in one utterly heart-wrecking scene.

emma thompson, alan rickman, love actually, film, hollywood, movies, acting, drama, hugh grant, andrew lincoln, keira knightley At Christmas, you tell the truth. Giphy

Of the eight "Love Actually" relationships, Harry and Karen (Rickman and Thompson, respectively) is the one that gives the film some serious gravitas. While other characters are pining or shooting their shot with varying levels of success, Harry is pulling a mid-life crisis affair with a modelesque coworker while Karen shuffles their children to and fro and keeps Harry's life running smoothly. We see him lie, we see her start to suspect, but the scene where she opens her Christmas present from Harry—a Joni Mitchell CD, not the necklace she had found hidden in his coat and thought was for her—is when we see Thompson's acting strengths in full view.

Like, phew.

What's so striking about the scene, however, is that it's not dramatic in a typical way. There's no external conflict happening—it's just Thompson excusing herself from the family to emotionally process what she's just discovered in secret. We see and feel her heartbreak—it's so visceral—but that's not what makes the scene so powerful. Heartbreak happens all the time in movies.

As Thompson explains in an interview with BBC Radio 1, it's the fact that she can't actually react the way she wants to that pulls at people's heartstrings so hard.

"I think it's just because everybody's been through something like it," Thompson says. "What I think really gets to them though is that she has to pull herself together. It's not that she's upset. That's, you know, ten a penny. But it's that she has to pull herself together."

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It's true. The conflict in the scene is between her wanting to break down and her wanting to keep her family's Christmas memories happy and intact. She is a devastated wife, but she's also a devoted mother who doesn't want to devastate her kids. We feel the tension between those two roles and the way she swallows up her grief in order to get her kids to their holiday concert right after finding out her marriage isn't what she thought it was.

When you think about it, it's incredibly poignant. And though not everyone loves the film, it's moments like this one that have helped it stand the test of time and stay on many people's holiday watch-list.

"I think it’s to do with the fact that we’re required in our lives to repress the things that we’re feeling," Thompson explained on TODAY. "So, you can be hit right between the eyes with some terrible piece of news, but you can’t react immediately because you’ve got your children there. It’s that thing of not showing — that’s why it hurts. That’s why it moves us."

Emma Thompson, love actually, acting, performance, emotional Emma Thompson nailed this scene. Giphy

"If she went, 'Oh my God! I thought you were going to give me a necklace! And now you've given it to somebody else,' we would not be moved, you know?" she continued. "We're moved because she just goes, 'I'm not gonna do it.' And then she makes the bed, the bed that sort of suddenly feels so empty of meaning. And then she goes down and goes, 'Hello, everyone! Let's go.' That's why people identify."

And the way she plays it is perfect. Any actor can cry, but it's her crying while trying not to cry and how she shows us her inner emotional turmoil without her ever saying a single word that's impressive.

If you've never seen "Love Actually" and want to see the Harry and Karen story, here are just their scenes.

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Some people have asked whether Harry actually physically cheated or not, but "Love Actually" script editor Emma Freud clarified that he did. "DEFINITELY had an affair," she wrote on X in 2015. "I begged richard just to make it a flirtation, but no. the whole way."

And did Harry and Karen stay together in the end? The film doesn't really make it clear, but at the screening Freud answered the question: “They stay together but home isn’t as happy as it once was.” Oof. There's just no non-heartbreaking answer to that question.

emma thompson, alan rickman, love actually, film, hollywood, movies, acting, drama, hugh grant, andrew lincoln, keira knightley No matter how you play it out, there's no Hollywood ending for Emma Thompson's character. Giphy

This is why we watch films, though, isn't it? To see our humanity reflected back to us? To feel what the characters feel? To have our hearts broken vicariously so we can have a good cry without going through the actual pain ourselves?

People usually watch romcoms for the romance and comedy and happy endings, though. So here's to Emma Thompson and Alan Rickman for giving us one of the most poignant scenes in cinema in one of the most unexpected places.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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For struggling teens, the support they need can come unexpectedly — from drama teachers.

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NBC's Rise

When Kevin Bohl started high school, he felt like an outsider.

He was the new kid in town, and he and his mother had just moved into a tightknit community.

“Everyone knew everyone else. Picture Bedford Falls from ‘It's a Wonderful Life,’” he says. “I knew no one. It seemed that all of the other freshmen had been going to school forever.”

To not feel invisible, he joined the football team — but he only showed up to one practice.

“I forgot to think about whether I wanted to play football,” he explains. “Turns out, I didn't.”

Back at square one, he could have easily felt discouraged — but that’s when he saw the drama club’s autumn production. He fell in love immediately.

The next semester, he signed up for drama, a decision that would not only change his high school experience, but introduce him to a teacher who he would never forget — Mr. K.

“He gave me my first lead role,” Bohl says. “His trust in me, an unknown kid, meant more to me than he will ever know.”

That role not only placed Bohl in the spotlight, it finally gave him the sense of community for which he was desperately looking.

Kevin Bohl, present day.  Image by Simone Scully/Upworthy.

“[Mr. K] was like no one I'd ever met. He spoke to all of his students like adults. We could curse in class, which was utterly scandalous,” Bohl remembers. “And he chose projects that challenged us. He wanted us to think and feel.”

Being given space to think and feel might seem simple — but it can have a profound effect on teens who are just coming into their own.

“High school students have such fraught emotional lives,” Bohl says. “I can't imagine a discipline better suited to [guiding] a teenager through that time than a drama teacher.”

That’s because drama teachers like Mr. K give students much more than stage directions.They provide a safe haven for teens to express themselves and heal.

Roxanne Schroeder-Arce, an associate professor in the UTeach Theater program at the University of Texas at Austin, knows this better than most. She’s an expert in preparing professionals to teach drama in high schools and knows just how important it is for teachers to empower the youth they work with.

Image via iStock.

“For marginalized youth in particular, theater can be a place where their voices matter,” she explains. “The best theater teachers engage students in the creative process, ask questions, make space for and amplify young people’s voices.”

A teacher who isn’t afraid to tackle the sometimes difficult material that speaks to the kids they’re teaching can have a profound impact on students. The benefits of doing so are undeniable.

With a good teacher, theater becomes more than a fun hobby for kids. It becomes the foundation for better mental health and academic outcomes.

According to the American Alliance for Theatre and Education, drama classes not only improve standardized test scores, they decrease dropout rates and improve self-esteem.

“[Drama teachers] can, and often do, provide empathy for [struggling] kids,” Bohl says. “They can focus students’ disabilities in productive directions.”

Image via iStock.

With this kind of support, students who participate in the arts are three times more likely to win an award for attendance, directly linking investment in the arts to increased engagement at school. In other words, when students are given a voice, they show up.

“[Theater teachers] encourage young people to think critically, consider their role in the world, how to empathize and engage with others,” Schroeder-Arce says. “[These are] skills that we all need to be effective in our work, in our homes, in our communities.”

Today, Bohl — now 51 — is a working actor in New York, and not once has he forgotten the impression that Mr. K left on him.

“To this very day, there is nowhere I feel safer than in a theater or rehearsal space working on a show,” he says. “[Mr. K was] instrumental in instilling my own belief in my abilities, challenging me to stretch them, and making it safe for me to fail.”

Kevin Bohl in a theater.  Image by Simone Scully/Upworthy.

For Bohl that sense of safety was invaluable. “[Drama teachers] are unsung heroes,” he says.

While Bohl began high school feeling invisible, it was teachers like Mr. K who made him feel seen. And while that might seem like a small gesture, it can make all the difference.

Based on a true story, NBC’s new drama "Rise" has inspired us to look for other real stories about the impact of great teachers and drama classes on high schoolers' lives. "Rise" premieres on March 13 after "This Is Us." Click here to see the trailer for this new show.

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Why there's much ado about inmates doing Shakespeare behind bars.

Lights! Camera! Second chances!

The stage is set. The actors put the final touches on their costumes and wait nervously in the wings. The audience is ushered in by an armed guard or two. It's showtime.

This is not an ordinary production of Shakespeare's "Julius Caesar."  This is Shakespeare at San Quentin State Prison.

Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images.

Since 2003, actors and staff from the Marin Shakespeare Company have taught classes at San Quentin, the state prison just a few miles away.

The company has always boasted a rich social outreach program to get Shakespeare's work out to as many people as possible. The prison population was nearby, and managing director Lesley Currie said they seemed like a logical fit for courses. So she and her team decided to give it a try.

"At first it was very poorly attended, but after a few years, we had enough men in the class to actually put on a full-length Shakespeare play in the prison chapel," Currier said in a phone interview. "And since then, it's just taken off."

LeMar Harrison (C) and Carlos Flores (R) take the stage. Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images.

After their first full-length production, interest in the classes skyrocketed. These days, Currier sometimes manages a waitlist or two.

The sessions don't just focus on Shakespeare. Through exercises and activities, they also cover conflict resolution and positive decision making.

The classes are team taught, and local actors and directors often volunteer their time too. In addition to acting, the courses include lessons in self-reflection and teamwork. With the help of drama therapy students, the classes can also go a little deeper, allowing the inmates to work on their social skills.

"In a typical two and a half hour class, we'll often spend an hour doing all kinds of different exercises that are designed to build acting skills but also designed to build human skills," Currier said.

John Windham (L) and Richie Morris (C) rehearse lines before their performance. Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images.

She often ends each class with what she calls, "group decision-making exercises." These creative assignments might ask participants to work as a team to turn lines from a play into a song and dance or a poem; or have them rewrite certain scenes, forcing characters to make a different choice.

According to Currier: "One of our students said, 'I've done a lot of conflict resolution work since I've gone to prison, but that kind of exercise is the best conflict resolution work I've ever done.'"

Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images.

But as with the bard himself said, the play's the thing.

Since the early days of the program, the participants have put on more than a dozen full-length Shakespeare plays at San Quentin. The inmate actors work for months putting each show together. Memorizing lines, building sets, and getting into character is tough work, and the actors take their roles very seriously.

Because, for them, it's not just something to do, it's a point of pride and a place for self-expression.

Azraal Ford gets ready to play Julius Caesar. Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images.

"One man said, 'I've been in prison for 12 years, I have a 12-year-old daughter, and all she's ever known about me is that I'm in prison. And today she gets to know that I'm a Shakespeare star."

The inmates' families aren't allowed into the facility to see the productions (the audience is mostly made up of other inmates), but each performance is recorded and put online so families can see their stars in action whenever they want.

Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images.

Support from the state has allowed the program to expand to two more correctional facilities too.

"Three years ago the state actually started funding arts in corrections, and we were one of the first seven organizations in the state of California to get a grant," Currier said.

The grant allowed the program to expand to inmates at Solano State Prison in Vacaville, where inmates are working on "Hamlet" and "King John." And the Folsom Women's Facility, about 25 miles east of Sacramento, where they're working on "Taming of the Shrew."

The expansion gives more inmates a chance to take advantage of this powerful program.

"When you hear the men talk about why they do it and why it's important to them [the men and the women now] it just makes you realize, just more deeply what it means to be a human being on this planet," Currier said.

Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

But the best part? It's really having a positive effect on the participants.

Programs like this are a win for everyone involved, and that's why California and other states continue to make the investment.

"Research has shown that structured arts programs improve inmates' problem-solving skills and self-discipline and increase their patience and their ability to work with others," said California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation (CDCR) Secretary Jeff Beard in a written statement. "These programs also direct inmates' energy in a positive direction, promote positive social interaction and lower tension levels, resulting in a safer environment for inmates and staff."

An inmate watches the performance. The audience is limited to inmates and select outside guests. Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images.

Most importantly, for the actors and their teachers, these programs can be life-changing.

"Most California state prisons have versions of 12-step programs ... and most have some kind of education program where you can get your GED or do college coursework, and those are really important," Currier said. "But the arts are really important as well. Being able to engage with other people through the arts — that's a different kind of social learning than you can get writing an essay."

Anthony Passer (L) and Maurice Reed (R) rehearse lines before the big show. Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images.

Whether it's "Hamlet," "Julius Caesar," or "Taming of the Shrew," it turns out that some of the best shows in California are behind lock and key.

They're full of heart, passion, and pride. The actors' performances transport the audience to worlds previously unimagined, even if just for a few hours. And when you're living in a restrictive environment, that's a beautiful, life-changing gift.

Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images.

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