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Time to break the habit once and for all.

Nearly all of us have added a quick “sorry” to the beginning of a written or spoken sentence, be it to soften a statement or to maintain an air of politeness. But when starting off with an apology becomes a default way of communicating, it can indicate low self esteem, people pleasing tendencies, or insincerity. Needless to say, none of these things make for successfully getting your message across.

For many people (especially women) over-apologizing stems from being taught that niceness equals likeability. But while genuine apologies of course have their place, habitual, involuntary use of the word “sorry”—especially when a person isn’t at fault for anything—ends up being a form of self sabotage…often in spaces where you need confidence the most.

As keynote speaker, andCNBC Make It contributor Lorraine K. Lee explains, “sorry” is a common form of minimizing language, a topic she regularly talks about. Similar to “um” and “just,” “sorry” undermines what you’re actually trying to say.

communication, communication expert, social anxiety, social skills, social tips, communication tips, better communication, cnbc make itA woman trapped in a boxPhoto credit: Canva

Luckily, Lee has a pretty simple process for breaking the habit.

How to stop saying “I’m sorry”

First and foremost, Lee suggests tracking just how often you might say or write “sorry.”

“The volume may surprise you,” she warns.

According to Sage Therapy, it might be helpful to note what circumstance you were dealing with at the time. Was it at home or at work? Were you dealing with strangers? Did nerves come into play? All of these factors might help identify what sorts of situations, people, or general moods might trigger the behavior.

communication, communication expert, social anxiety, social skills, social tips, communication tips, better communication, cnbc make itA nervous man at a work meetingPhoto credit: Canva

From there, Lee says these two “subtle yet powerful changes” can instantly make your communication stronger, even if you don’t eliminate “sorry” from your vocabulary entirely:

1. Swap apologies for appreciation

For example, instead of saying “sorry I’m late,” Lee suggests using “thanks for waiting.”

2. Cutting right to the chase

Barring when you legitimately need to own up to a mistake, Lee advises doing your best to “trim” the use of it from conversations. For example, saying, “I’d like to add a quick thought” instead of, “Sorry, can I jump in?”

This can go for delivering feedback as well. For example, instead of: “Sorry if this is off base…” Lee says you can use “one thing to consider is…” Alternatively, you could also find additional swap words. For instance, instead of “I’m sorry but I think we should x,y,z,” try “Hear me out, I think we should x,y,z.”

communication, communication expert, social anxiety, social skills, social tips, communication tips, better communication, cnbc make itA person being assertive at a work meeting.Photo credit: Canva

As with changing any habit, it takes practice, and, as Lee noted, “small but intentional steps.” It’s not about getting anything perfect, but rather about eliminating whatever self-made barriers that might be keeping you from expressing your most confident self. This of course is helpful in everyday life, but it’s especially crucial around clients, coworkers, and bosses.

At the very least, it helps us remember that, as Lee put it, “You deserve to take up space just as much as the next person.” and that’s a pretty good mantra to live by. Sorry not sorry.

via Pexels

A jetliner that landed in the woods.

Over the past few years, the rising costs of homes and rent in the U.S. has pushed many to seek alternatives to traditional housing. People have been moving into tiny houses, sharing spaces with “platonic life partners” and living the nomad dream in motorhomes.

Some have even opted to take up permanent residence aboard cruise ships because it can be cheaper than paying rent or a mortgage.

One of the most unique, alternative homes in the US is Bruce Campbell’s in Hillsboro, a suburb of Portland, Oregon. According to CNBC, for over 20 years, the retired engineer has called a Boeing 727 200-passenger jetliner home. It’s a little smaller than the average house at 1,066 square feet, but it’s an open-concept lovers’ fantasy.


The plane has a unique history. It was once owned by Greek-Argentinian shipping magnate Aristotle Onassis and was used to transport his remains after his death in 1975. Onassis was married to former First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis.

The plane has everything Campbell needs to live comfortably. The original sink and bathroom are in perfect working order. He added a makeshift shower, refrigerator and portable washing machine to take care of all his needs.

“It’s a great toy. Trick doors, trick floors. Hatches here, latches there. Cool interior lights. Awesome exterior lights, sleek gleaming appearance, titanium ducts," he said according to Awesome Inventions.

His jetliner home also has retractable stairs so he can climb in and out of his place. Campbell lives in the plane six months a year and spends the rest of his time in Japan.

"I can appreciate that some folks might feel isolated or that it might strike them as an unusual living environment. But for me, it has always felt completely natural,” Campbell told Great Big Story.

Some may find Campbell's living arrangement strange but they can't argue with its affordability. He told CNBC that his monthly expenses are around $370, which includes $220 a month in property taxes and $100 to $250 a month in electricity. Campbell paid $100,000 for the plane initially and it cost $120,000 to make it habitable.

The engines have been removed so the plane will never fly again.

The plane is an affordable place to live and it’s also great for the environment. “Jetliners can, and should, be transformed into wonderful homes—retirement into an aerospace-class castle should be every jetliner's constructive fate. They should never be mindlessly scrapped. Shredding a beautiful and scintillating jetliner is a tragedy, a waste, and a profound failure of human imagination. The time for humanity to recognize this is long, long overdue,” he said according to the CBC.

Campbell has found an innovative and creative way to live well while finding a way to upcycle 70,000 pounds of materials that would have wound up in a landfill. But he’s not done yet. He hopes to start on a second airplane home in Japan which he describes as “a land I love and with people I love. If I can simply regain my youth, everything will be fine.”