upworthy

self esteem

Pop Culture

Influencer mom Ashley LeMieux shares 'before and after' pics to debunk social media beauty myths

"Just a small reminder that it’s impossible to see it all on social media."

@ashleyklemieux/Instagram

"We get glimpses into other people’s stories, not the entirety."

Listen, we are all aware that social media is but a carefully curated highlight reel of everyone’s best angles and biggest wins. But even knowing this, it can be almost impossible not to compare ourselves to what we see day in, day out on Instagram.

Of course, many folks actively try to combat this societal norm by sharing their less-than-perfect selves. And honestly, they’re often a breath of fresh air.

Recently, mom and wellness coach Ashley LeMieux decided to post her own version of this. For each totally Insta-worthy photo she took while on vacation, she also posted the “unedited, zero filtered, real life moments” that happened seconds later.

Alongside images of a flattering bikini pose, a sweet daddy-daughter interaction, and a glamorous beachside date night were also images showing a little cellulite, a toddler meltdown, and the “unseen anxiety” felt during that date.

In her caption, LeMieux wrote:

“Just a small reminder that it’s impossible to see it all on social media. We get glimpses into other people’s stories, not the entirety…It’s easy to compare our whole life to small parts of someone else’s, and think that we must have something wrong with us. Comparison impacts our mental health so deeply, and it’s unfair to ourselves, and to each other, to think that everyone else has what we wish we had for ourselves.”

In an interview with Good Morning America, LeMieux shared that part of her inspiration behind the post came from the women she works with everyday that “don’t feel good enough,” thank in part to comparing themselves to what’s seen on social media.

"I think that when we can see other people having this real life that is similar to ours, we're like, 'OK, maybe there's not something wrong with me, or maybe it's not that my life is so different from theirs,'" she said. "We can never fully see the bigger picture, which is why I think that conversations like this are so meaningful and important, so that we can have this quick reminder of, we're all human, we all have our stuff, we just don't see the entirety of it happening all the time.”

So, so, so many people commented to say how much they really needed to hear and see this. One person even admitted that “sometimes I don’t post because I feel like a fraud because my life isn’t as perfect as I would post.”

Others shared their own love for the unfiltered side of social media.

“I so appreciate this!! I love the unfiltered side, and am always excited to see the nitty gritty you post!! Real life is beautiful, as are you mama ❤️,” one person wrote.

Another added, “The content everyone on Instagram (especially teenagers) need to see and absorb. 👏”

We might know that no one’s life is truly perfect, but clearly a little reminder every now and then can work wonders. Don’t let the false narrative of social media rob you of real joy.

From Your Site Articles
body image
More

Pink's beautiful, unexpected response when her daughter was feeling 'ugly.'

If you follow Pink at all, you know she's a pretty awesome mom.

Her Instagram account is filled with adorable pics of her with her two young kids. In these posts, Pink is down to earth, honest, and best of all, has a great sense of humor about the whole parenting journey:

But even Pink has challenging moments as a parent.

In her speech at the 2017 MTV Video Music Awards, Pink shared an amazing and powerful story about — and for — her daughter.

After winning the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award, Pink took the stage and stepped to the mic. It was clear she had something important on her mind.

"Recently I was driving my daughter to school and she said to me, out of the blue, 'Momma ... I'm the ugliest girl I know,'" Pink recalled. "'I look like a boy with long hair.'"

Hearing your child being hard on themselves is a heartbreaking moment for any parent. But if you think Pink just blurted out, "OMG, what? Baby, you are so pretty!" well... you don't know Pink.

"I went home and I made a PowerPoint presentation for her," Pink said.

"And in that presentation were androgynous rockstars and artists that lived their truth," she added. "[People] who are probably made fun of every day of their life and carry on and wave their flag and inspire the rest of us."

She listed a handful of world-changing talents, like Michael Jackson and Elton John, like Pink herself, who never let anyone's expectations or opinions hold them back. Proving her point even further, Pink, her daughter, and her husband Carey Hart all showed up at the VMAs last night wearing matching suits.

Photo by Phillip Faraone/Getty Images.

On stage, Pink shared this monumental moment of parenting clarity: Yes, most kids will battle with self-image and self-esteem at some point, and no, of course, they should never be made to feel like they are ugly or that their bodies are wrong in any way.

BUT — in our rush to reassure our kids that they are beautiful or handsome or pretty or cute, we should never forget that these are moments when we can teach them that there are greater things to aspire to than traditional standards of beauty ... because beauty is subjective.

"Baby girl, we don't change," Pink said to thundering applause. "We help other people to change so they can see more kinds of beauty."

Damn straight, Pink. Damn straight.

You can watch the full speech in the video below:

From Your Site Articles
More

A new men’s talk show in the works will challenge gender norms. Hell yes.

Justin Baldoni, of The CW's 'Jane the Virgin,' is on a mission to change masculinity.

The reflection staring back at Justin Baldoni in the mirror looks, to him, quite a bit different from the svelte leading man his fans see on television every week.

He sees a version of himself that's about two decades younger.

That person is gangly, awkward, and pimply, Baldoni says, complete with crooked teeth hiding behind rows of braces and a large nose that draws taunts from bullies from near and far.

"I didn't have a date for homecoming because nobody wanted to go with me," Baldoni recalls of his teen years. "That's who I still struggle with when I look in the mirror."

"I struggle with massive insecurities about my body," says Baldoni, who plays Rafael on The CW's "Jane the Virgin." "And I'm a guy who takes my shirt off on TV every week."

Baldoni believes he has a form of body dysmorphia. And he's certainly not alone.

[rebelmouse-image 19474018 dam="1" original_size="750x750" caption=""As a man I can tell you right now that I struggle with my own body image & there are infinite layers that contribute to why," Baldoni writes in his caption on Facebook. Photo courtesy of Justin Baldoni." expand=1]"As a man I can tell you right now that I struggle with my own body image & there are infinite layers that contribute to why," Baldoni writes in his caption on Facebook. Photo courtesy of Justin Baldoni.

Forms of mental illness in men stemming from body image have become an increasingly concerning issue.

It's a topic the actor thinks people aren't talking about enough, and research suggests he's right. Studies show that men with body image issues are far more likely to go undiagnosed and untreated than their female counterparts, because men are more likely to suffer in silence and hold off on accessing help out of shame.

Even though it may be scary, Baldoni knows he's only able to take his shirt off for his day job because of the various forms of privilege he's benefitted from (namely, that his current body conforms to society's standards of male attractiveness). So he's certainly not asking for a pity party in honor of his insecurities.

He is asking, however, for change on behalf of men everywhere.

That's why Baldoni is launching a new talk show focused on exploring what it means to be a man in 2017.

"I believe we need to adjust and change the way we see masculinity," Baldoni notes. "Who says masculinity has to be forceful and powerful and strong? What if it looks different? What if it looks different for every single man?"

[rebelmouse-image 19528283 dam="1" original_size="750x938" caption=""[Men] need to be able to not judge each other," Baldoni wrote on Facebook. "To hold whatever is happening in our lives, to cry together, and listen to each other." Photo courtesy of Justin Baldoni." expand=1]"[Men] need to be able to not judge each other," Baldoni wrote on Facebook. "To hold whatever is happening in our lives, to cry together, and listen to each other." Photo courtesy of Justin Baldoni.

The first two episodes of the series (the title has yet to be determined) are in production this summer by Baldoni's media company, Wayfarer, and will live on an online platform that will also provide viewers with helpful resources on a number of issues affecting men.

Experts and celebrity guests — including actor and activist Matt McGorry ("How to Get Away with Murder") — will help Baldoni parse through a wide variety of topics that affect men of all colors, backgrounds, sexual orientations, and identities, Baldoni explains.

Actor Matt McGorry will be in the first two episodes of Baldoni's new talk show. Photo by Catrina Maxwell/Getty Images for SCAD.

The second episode of the show will be dedicated to body image.

"I'm absolutely nervous," Baldoni admits of the deeply personal endeavor. "I'm also terrified. I'm insecure. I feel very vulnerable and exposed at the same time."

Baldoni began thinking about creating a talk show for men after his marriage proposal video went viral in 2013.

The video, which has amassed a whopping 11 million views to date, was originally meant to be shared with only wedding guests, the actor says. But he and his wife, Emily, reluctantly posted it to YouTube after being egged on by family and friends.

The 27-minute long proposal shows Emily reacting to an epic video pre-recorded by Baldoni — one involving boy band performances and a car chase — as she waits, shocked, in the restaurant where the couple went on their first date. In the video's conclusion, Baldoni appears in the restaurant to ask for Emily's hand in marriage.

Reactions to the proposal online were ... mixed.

[rebelmouse-image 19528284 dam="1" original_size="750x750" caption="Baldoni with his wife and daughter. "My personal truth is that I get pretty damn sad when my girls leave," he wrote on Facebook. "Even if it's just for a week and a half." Photo courtesy of Justin Baldoni." expand=1]Baldoni with his wife and daughter. "My personal truth is that I get pretty damn sad when my girls leave," he wrote on Facebook. "Even if it's just for a week and a half." Photo courtesy of Justin Baldoni.

Women, overall, seemed to appreciate it, Baldoni recalls. They shared it with friends and excitedly congratulated the couple. Men, on the other hand, tended to either attack or mock Baldoni for the dramatic gesture. At least, that's what they did publicly.

Privately, men complimented Baldoni, emailing him their thoughts and asking for advice in proposing to their own partners. Baldoni remembers an intimidatingly buff stranger at the gym who quietly approached him, admitting the video made him cry.

"I realized we have an issue," Baldoni says. "Men are embarrassed to share their feelings.”

That embarrassment — along with a lengthy list of other negative effects sprouting from traditionally held gender roles — has far-reaching ramifications.

“There are too many signs that our world is overrun by the wrong kind of masculinity," Baldoni says.

Suicidal men are literally dying for somebody to talk to. Substance abuse is silently affecting the lives of men refusing to reach out for help.

In Washington, bravado seems to trump substance.

"Trump and other men like him exist everywhere," Baldoni says. "And they’ve always existed." Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images.

More men need to know it's OK to be open, to be vulnerable, to be flawed.

"Maybe you're someone who's struggling with depression, or maybe your career isn't going as well as you want it to ... maybe you're addicted to porn and you're so embarrassed about it that you've never talked to anybody," Baldoni says. "Reach out and start to build strong male relationships that don't focus on what game is on or what NBA player is killing it."

"At some point we have to learn how to open up because we need each other," Baldoni notes. "Masculinity doesn't have to be as lonely as it is."

To keep tabs on Baldoni's new talk show, which is slated to premiere in late fall 2017, follow him on Instagram and Facebook.

From Your Site Articles
Family

How I learned that my body is beautiful just the way it is.

It started out innocently enough. I was born. They counted 10 fingers and 10 toes. Everything appeared to be in working order.

My arms were where they were supposed to be, as were my legs. Family and friends admired the adorable chubbiness of it all. Every inch of me was perfect from their perspective. Everything about my existence on this Earth represented possibility — the chance to make good, to right wrongs, and to make a fresh start. This is not unique to my experience; it’s what we do with children They are our window into what might be.

Image via iStock.

I moved predictably from infancy through toddlerhood and my legs carried me along on that journey. They toddled about, carrying my new little self to all the adventures awaiting me. No one had judgments about the shape of my face or the heft of my behind.

There was only wonder at the magnificence of my existence. There was still the possibility that I would be built like a goddess and fulfill the desire of many women to be beautiful, perfect, and without dimples on my thighs. There was still hope for me.

Yet, at some point, I began hearing things in my adolescence that changed my understanding of my body and its value.

Puberty hit me early — very early — and I had a woman’s body while I was still a child. Statements like “pinch an inch” or “I’m so sorry you got my legs” or “you need minimizer bras” began to shape how I thought about this suit that my consciousness had been born into.

I started to become increasingly self-conscious and developed my own judgments about what was bad about my surface self. I had glasses and braces, big boobs, and a terribly neurotic brain. I was now being betrayed by my own body, as it seemed to not live up to the standards or expectations of beauty set forth in society.

Let me be perfectly clear: No one every said, "You are ugly. You are fat. You are not OK just as you are." I was loved. I was deeply, deeply loved. But I did receive a message many of us do — that the way we look is not sufficient.

John Moore/Getty Images.

There is a vicious cycle in which generations of women hear their mothers, grandmothers, sisters, and aunts talk about their own bodily imperfections. They lament upon the disappointments at how their feet are shaped or the fact that they gain weight through the middle. Never once as I was growing up did I hear any women reflect upon the astounding capacity of their own bodies.

I have always hated my legs. They are ugly by traditional beauty standards. Throughout my 38+ years on this planet, I have never said one nice thing about them.

It recently occurred to me, probably much too late in life, that this body of mine has been with me since the beginning. Of course it has — what a ridiculous thing to say — but we often take our bodies for granted. We abuse them, talk badly about them, judge them negatively, and put unrealistic expectations on them.

How does my body withstand my unrelenting disappointment? Because my body is incredible. I have decided I have an incredible body.

It doesn’t look like the ones at the gym in their Lululemon, or on the covers of the magazines, or lounging at the beach. And, yet, I have an incredible body.

It has been with me from the beginning. My heart and my brain have withstood sadness, anxiety, and deep emotional distress. My whole self has been crushed under a car, broken then healed, and with beautiful scars to show for this accomplishment. This body has grown three lives; it has stretched to fit their growth, disseminating nutrients, building little brains and blood vessels, hands and toes. These legs have carried me through races, walked cities, climbed mountains, and bounced my crying babies through many sleepless nights. My stomach has experienced the butterflies of love. These arms have hugged and held and carried and cheered through all the moments of my life. My eyes have witnessed life and death, grief and joy, the miracles of nature, art, love, and family. My ears have heard the giggles of my children and my ears have listened to instructions on how to peel potatoes or make a hospital corner. What kind of weird, magical miracle makes all those things possible in one place for one single individual existence?

Through every pain and joy, and fluctuation of the scale, my body has been with me. The way it looks or the way it moves or even the way that all the parts don’t work the way they used to — those changes are only a part of me. We are the sum of our parts, the culmination of our life’s work, a massive piling on of beauty and pain, of successes and failures.

I want “I have an incredible body” to become our mantra and I don’t want it to have anything to do with what the outside looks like — but rather, what our bodies are capable of enduring and creating.

Let’s reflect this wonder and reverence to the young people in our lives. The next time you feel like saying something negative about your thighs or your jiggly arms, instead just look in the mirror and say, “I have an incredible body.” Because you do, you really, really do.

Trending Stories