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An anxious person covers their face. Sheet music.

What if we could reframe the way we view anxiety? Instead of it being this negative, festering nuisance, could it be finessed into something that's ultimately positive?

Well, psychologist Rollo May–who was often considered one of the most renowned existential psychologists/philosophers of his time–believed that the way many of us think about anxiety is all wrong. In 1950, May released his book The Meaning of Anxiety, which was revised and re-released in 1977, and sought to challenge the belief that anxiety is a "bad" emotion. Instead, May suggests it's a feeling that should serve as a reminder to "take action."

 Rollo May, psychology, anxiety, psychologist, positive, negative Archivo:Rollo May USD Alcalá 1977.jpg - Wikipedia, la enciclopedia ...  es.m.wikipedia.org  

Of the latter 1977 release, Goodreads describes it as, "the first modern book on anxiety following Freud and Kierkegaard. May challenges the idea that 'mental health is living without anxiety,' believing it is essential to being human. He explores how it can relieve boredom, sharpen sensibilities, and produce the tension necessary to preserve human existence."

The gist is that anxiety can't be ignored as it's such a normal part of the human condition. Instead, it should be used as a guide to cultivate knowledge, spring into action, and enhance creativity.

In the late 1980s, May sat for an interview entitled "The Human Dilemma with Rollo May" as part of Jeffrey Mishlove's Thinking Allowed series. Among many ideas discussed, Mishlove asks, "When you speak of anxiety, you don't think of it as a symptom to be removed, but rather as a gateway for exploration into the meaning of life."


May gives a resounding, "Yes, you got that exactly!" He adds, "I think anxiety is associated with creativity. When you're in a situation of anxiety, you can of course run away from it and that's certainly not constructive." He then exemplifies the "no-nonsense" approach he was often known for: "You could take a bunch of pills to get over it or cocaine or whatever else you may take."

Mishlove interjects, "You could meditate." May responds, "You could meditate. But I think none of those things, including meditation–which I happen to believe in–but none of those paths lead you to creative activity."

"What anxiety means," he continues, "is it's as though the world were knocking at your door. That you need to create. You need to make something. You need to DO something. And I think anxiety, thus, is well for people who have found their own heart and their own souls. For them, it is a stimulus toward creativity, toward courage. It's what makes us human beings."

The full interview contains a moment when Mishlove states, "I suppose much of anxiety comes from the basic human dilemma of being mortal. Of ultimately having to confront our own demise."

  -Jeffrey Mishlove's Thinking Allowed series with guest Rollo May  www.youtube.com  

May answers, in part: "Man is the only creature—men, women and children sometimes, even—who can be aware of their death. And out of that comes normal anxiety. When I can let myself FEEL that, I apply myself to new ideas. I write books. I communicate with my fellows. In other words, the creative interchange of human personality rests upon the fact that we know we're going to die…Our knowledge of our death is what gives us a normal anxiety that says to us to make the most of these years you are alive. And that's what I've tried to do."

Mishlove also points out, "Another source of anxiety you've described in your writing, is our very freedom. The ability to make choices and to have to confront the consequences of those choices." May once again agrees. "Freedom is also the mother of anxiety. If you had no freedom, you'd have no anxiety."

He's essentially stating that again, anxiety comes from the very act of being aware of our own consciousness. "Those of us who do have anxiety are alert, alive. We're aware that what we do matters. We only have about 70 or 80 or 90 years in which to do it, so why not do it and get joy out of it, rather than running away from it?'

The comments sections across the board are full of insightful thoughts. This person sums it up nicely: "Our existential freedom is what allows us to feel anxiety and despair; this, in turn, gives rise to creativity, growth, understanding, and joy. It's almost like anxiety and creativity are two sides of the same coin."


Pallbearers holding a coffin.

In the 2020 series finale of the philosophical sitcom “The Good Place,” Kristen Bell’s Eleanor character poignantly reflects on what it means to be human. “Every human is a little bit sad all the time because you know you're going to die. But that knowledge is what gives life meaning,” she says. And it’s true: The fact that our lives will end makes the time we spend on this planet much more meaningful.

You only have so much time on this planet; how will you choose to spend it? What goals will you pursue? Who will you help? What will you contribute? What will your job be? Who will you spend your time with?

One way to figure out the answers to these big questions is to put it all on paper. Victor Sweeney, 33, a funeral director in Warren, Minnesota, chooses to do so by rewriting his obituary once a year to help him focus on the things that really matter in life. Working in the death business must give one a unique perspective on these matters of life and death.


Even though Sweeny has lived another year, he makes more edits to his obituary than additions. “Each year, my obituary gets shorter and shorter,” he told CNBC’s Make It. “It’s not that I’m doing less, but that there are fewer and fewer things that really, truly matter.”

Sweeney tells CNBC that every time he rewrites his obituary, he realizes that what truly matters to him are his family and service to others. Since 2015, Sweeney has slowly removed references to his accomplishments or career. “Now it’s like, ‘He lived, he loved, he had some kids.’ That’s about it,” he says.

The significant benefit of writing your own obituary is that you can reverse engineer your own life. You can list everything you set out to do and make your true purpose concrete. As you grow, you can make additions and subtractions as your purpose evolves.

Then, you can follow the path laid out in your obituary, which becomes a roadmap for life. “Writing your own obituary helps you uncover your life purpose. This exercise will help you find meaning and focus—live your life the way you want to be remembered,” Gustavo Razzetti writes in Fearless Culture.

obituary, meaning in life, writingA woman writing her obituary. via Canva/Photos

Wring your own obituary is also a way to “Blue Sky” the way you think about your life. “Blue Sky” speculation is a technique the Imagineers use to design attractions at Disney Parks and generate ideas without limitations. As the engineers say, “If it can be dreamt, it can be built.” What would be your “Blue Sky” dreams for your life? Where do you want to live? What do you want to do for work? What organizations would you like to start or be part of? How many kids would you like to have? Who is your perfect partner? What do you want your impact on the world to be?

Some may think that writing an obituary, especially early in life, is a morbid practice that makes them uncomfortable. However, with our limited time on Earth, realizing your own mortality too late in life, could mean the difference between following your dreams and staying in bed. Because when we live without considering our deaths, we are not truly thinking about life itself. That discomfort is a small price to pay for waking up one day and realizing that your time is limited, but you came to that truth too late to do anything about it.

Science communicator Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Science educator, astrophysicist and author Neil deGrasse Tyson has an incredible talent for taking complex ideas about the cosmos and making them more accessible for the average person to understand.

In a clip from a conversation with Steve Berlett on the “Diary of a CEO Podcast,” Tyson flips the script and uses the cosmos to help us better understand ourselves. But there’s one big problem getting in the way of coming to this universal understanding: our egos.

“Your ego is incompatible with the cosmic perspective,” Tyson says in the clip. “The cosmic perspective shows you how small we are, in size, in time, in space, and if you go in with a high ego, you might resist that. You might say, ‘No, I'm important.’ But I think of it differently.”


Tyson believes we can push past the feeling of insignificance that comes with understanding the vastness of the universe by realizing how we are inseparable from everything in the cosmos.

“We know one of the greatest gifts of modern astrophysics to civilization, dare I call it a gift, is the knowledge that the atoms of your body are traceable, not only to The Big Bang, origin of the universe itself, but especially to stars that manufactured those elements and later in their lives, on death, exploded scattering that enrichment across gas clouds,” Tyson says in the clip. “So that their next generation of stars would have planets. And on at least one of those planets, life.”

“So, we are not just figuratively, we are literally stardust,” he continues. “You have kingship with the cosmos. That feeling to me is greater than any other you could have possibly walked into the room with.”

The notion that we are made of stardust isn’t entirely new, but it needs to be repeated so every generation can understand. Astronomer Carl Sagan popularized it in his 1973 book “The Cosmic Connection: An Extraterrestrial Perspective” in the following passage:

“Our Sun is a second- or third-generation star. All of the rocky and metallic material we stand on, the iron in our blood, the calcium in our teeth, the carbon in our genes were produced billions of years ago in the interior of a red giant star. We are made of star-stuff.”

Sagan hosted TV’s original “Cosmos: A Personal Voyage (1980-81). Tyson hosted the follow-ups, “Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey” (2014) and “Cosmos: Possible Worlds” (2020).

Tyson argues that connection with the universe is what makes us special. Not the unique qualities and characteristics that we have been taught to value. For the astrophysicist, being of this universe and made of such formidable material is enough for us to consider ourselves special.

“So why not look around and say, ‘I'm not special because I'm different. I'm special because I'm the same as you, as others, as the tree, as the brook, as the animals, you know, the woodland creatures,” Tyson said. “And we can all sit here and look up at the night sky and say, 'Yes, we have kinship with the cosmos.' I feel large because of that, not small.”