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Spain set to join a handful of countries offering paid 'menstrual leave,' for workers

menstruation, periods
Photo by Kinga Cichewicz on Unsplash

Menstrual leave in Spain would allow people with painful periods three to five days off per month.

How people experience menstruation can run the gamut, from minor inconvenience to debilitating pain and discomfort to everything in between. For some, it's a few extra bathroom trips and maybe a little moodiness for a few days. For others, the symptoms can include migraine headaches, dizziness, nausea, diarrhea and cramps that make it nearly impossible to get out of bed.

Societies and cultures around the world have taken different approaches to menstruation, from stigmatizing ostracization to celebration and respect. And generally speaking—other than perhaps putting period product machines in women's restrooms—the professional world simply pretends that menstruation doesn't exist. Employers aren't about to ask about it and considering the uphill battle to get women accepted in many professional settings, most women aren't going to openly talk about it.

But globally, women make up nearly 40% of the labor force, and in the U.S. that percentage climbs to nearly 50%. With so many women participating in the workforce, and with a good percentage of people who menstruate experiencing significant pain and discomfort, it seems logical that menstruation would at least be a consideration of some sort in terms of employment policies.

A handful of countries have officially recognized menstruation as a reason to take time off of work, including Japan, South Korea, Indonesia, Taiwan, Vietnam, Zambia and parts of China and India. According to CBS 8, these countries offer anywhere from 30 extra minutes of break time to multiple days off with full pay for employees whose menstrual symptoms interfere with their work. In South Korea, an ex-CEO made headlines last year when he was fined for refusing to allow an employee menstrual leave, which is protected by the country's employment laws. But the concept isn't new. Japan's menstrual leave policies have been in place since 1947.

Now, Spain is positioned to become the first Western nation to offer people paid time off during their periods.

According to Euronews Next , the Spanish government is expected to endorse a reproductive health bill that includes three to five days of menstrual leave per month for those with painful periods.

The outlet reported that Irene Montero, Spain's equality minister, wrote on Twitter: "We are making progress so that it is no longer normal to go to work in pain and to put an end to the stigma, shame and silence surrounding menstruation. We are making progress on rights."

However, the push for menstrual leave is not without controversy. Members of Spain's government as well as its main trade unions have differing opinions on the measure, with some questioning what constitutes a "painful period" and some expressing concern that menstrual leave will ultimately stigmatize women even more, making it less likely that employers will want to hire women.

Such debates are reflected in discussions among the general population as well. A Reddit post about Spain's pending legislation prompted some lively debates about whether menstrual leave is a positive or negative thing for women in the workforce.

"On one hand I think it's fantastic a woman can take a few days off when she's got her period, I know I'd hate to work with cramps and stuff" wrote one commenter. "But I do worry that it might make business less likely to hire women, and/or women less valuable."

"I'd imagine in the same way that having a kid makes some companies not want to hire women, having them taking 3 days off will further push them to the side of let's find a reason not to hire them," wrote another.

"I don’t think codifying the ridiculous idea that women are 10% less productive than men is a good thing," wrote another.

However, it appears the policy is not meant to be a blanket few days off for all people who menstruate, but rather for those who suffer from severe symptoms.

"It is important to clarify what a painful period is, we are not talking about a slight discomfort, but about serious symptoms such as diarrhea, severe headaches, fever," Ángela Rodríguez, Spain’s secretary of state for equality and against gender violence, told El Periódico newspaper, according to Euronews Next.

In addition to concerns, there was compassion on Reddit for women who suffer from painful periods as well.

"Seems good in theory. Women have the option to use it, but don't have to if their periods aren't bad," wrote one Reddit commenter. "It's a pro-labor market right now, so this is the right time to push for these sorts of programs. My wife gets terrible cramps prior to her cycle. I would like for her to at least have the option to take a day or two off so she can take some Pamprin and curl up in a ball."

"I’m a guy I don’t get periods but I know my mom and my sister particularly my sister gets it so bad she has to stay home from school when that time of the month comes around," wrote another. "And I guess from how I understand it every woman’s period is different from another so I hope this helps those who have severe pain and such."

The post also prompted discussion about how paid sick leave varies from place to place. Some people were shocked to hear that paid sick leave isn't guaranteed in some places (ahem, the United States) and some were surprised that in some places where paid sick leave is unlimited, a doctor has to send a note to your employer for it to count.

Some people felt that if you don't work, you don't deserve to get paid, period. Some felt that an employer has no right to know what your medical status is and if you are sick, you should just be able to say you're sick and be believed. Some complained that people go to work sick and make others sick because they're afraid of losing their jobs.

Fundamentally, if someone is not feeling well enough to work, whether it's due to illness or period pain or other health issues, they should be able to take time off without worrying about their livelihood. That's simply humane. A menstrual leave law may have pros and cons in practice, but at the end of the day, the acknowledgment that some periods can leave people suffering for a few days a month is a good thing, and ensuring that those people have the ability to care for themselves is the right thing to do.

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A 3-word method can help you make relaxed small talk that doesn't feel like an interview

Injecting some personality can make things a lot more fun.

via Canva/Photos

A man and woman chatting over some wine.

A lot of people are uncomfortable making small talk, but it’s an essential skill that can make or break your love life, career, and social experiences. Many people believe that being good at chatting with others is something innate, but those who excel at it work at their craft and pick up small tips along the way to become better communicators.

One of the tricks that all great communicators know is that you will be more likable when you're more interested than interesting. Study after study shows that people love talking about themselves, and if you ask people more questions, they will like you a lot more than if you did all the talking. So, how do we do this without creating a one-sided conversation where your conversation partner learns nothing about you? The folks at the Science of People have shared the statement-plus question technique.

The statement-plus technique

“One of the smoothest ways to keep conversation flowing is to share a brief personal statement followed by a question,” the Science of People writes. “This technique accomplishes two things: it gives the other person information about you (making you seem more approachable and interesting) while also redirecting focus to them.”

small talk, conversation, office party, people talking, wine Coworkers having a nice conversation.via Canva/Photos

Here are some examples:

Instead of asking “What do you do for work?” say:

“I’m a writer for Upworthy, and I enjoy seeing my work read by millions of people. What excites you about your job?”

Instead of asking, “Where do you live?” try:

“I live in Long Beach, California, and it’s really nice living by the ocean. What do you love the most about where you live?”

Instead of asking, “How do you know the person who threw the party?” say:

“I met Sarah at a church meeting seven years ago. Do you remember the first time you met her?”

These questions enable you to discuss yourself while maintaining the focus on the other person. They are also open-ended, so you don’t just get a one-word answer. You learn their job and what excites them about it. You know where they live, and they get to brag about what they like about the city. The technique also broadens the conversation because, according to the psychological phenomenon known as reciprocal self-disclosure, people are more likely to disclose things about themselves after you share something about yourself.

- YouTube youtu.be

What is reciprocal self-disclosure?

“The most likely result of your self-disclosure is that other people will do the same. In the field of communication, we refer to this as 'reciprocity.' When you share information about yourself, the most likely result is that people will start to disclose a similar type of information from their own lives," communication coach Alexander Lyon says. "In our presentations, we talk about this as a magic wand. Disclosure is the closest thing we have to a magic wand in terms of a concept in communication. When you disclose, other people almost automatically reciprocate."

Ultimately, people love to talk about themselves, and if you give them the opportunity, they will like you more for it. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t reveal some aspects of yourself at the same time while keeping the focus on them. The statement-plus question technique allows you to reveal some things about yourself while making the other person feel seen and comfortable telling you more about themselves. It’s sure to elevate your small talk to something more substantial in a relaxed way that doesn’t feel like an interview.

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Simple '30-second rule' can help even awkward people appear to be brilliant conversationalists

Do this one thing early in the conversation and you'll be off and running.

via Canva/Photos

A man and two women having a fun conversation.

It's bold but true: There’s no one alive who doesn’t feel some anxiety about making small talk with other people. The difference is that some confront their fears because they know the incredible benefits that it can mean for their social life, romantic prospects, and careers, while some shy away and miss out on many opportunities.

People who avoid small talk may believe those who excel at it are naturally charismatic or have been blessed with the “gift of gab.” However, many great conversationalists honed their skills and have a set of rules, techniques, and strategies they use when speaking to people, just like how people who do improvisational comedy or acting have a set of rules to follow to put everyone on the same page.

Confident, sociable people may make engaging with others look effortless, but that’s because they have a strategy.

couple, date, conversation, 30-second rule, chatting, encouragement, small talk A couple shares a pizza on a date. Credit: Danny Villegas/Pexels


What is the 30-second rule?

New York Times bestselling author and founder of the Maxwell Institute, John C. Maxwell, had a rule whenever he started a conversation: “Within the first 30 seconds of a conversation, say something encouraging to a person.” This can work in any social or professional situation, for example:

At work:

“Wendy, I heard you did great on yesterday’s conference call.”

“Frank, I hear the clients really love working with you.”

At a party:

“Mohammed, I really loved those pictures you posted on Instagram on your trip to Mexico.”

“Sang, are we going to get some of your incredible barbecue today?”

On a date:

“Thanks for choosing such a great restaurant, it has such a nice ambiance.”

“I really like the way your necklace brings out your eyes.”

Whether you are complimenting, relaying positive information about the person, or encouraging them, the key is to pump them up and make them feel good about themselves. The 30-second rule fits nicely into Maxwell’s overall view of relationships: “Those who add to us, draw us to them. Those who subtract, cause us to withdraw,” he said.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

The key to giving the other person encouragement is to do so genuinely. If you aren’t genuine with your compliments or words of encouragement, your words can have the opposite effect and make the other person feel like you are being condescending.

How does encouragement make people feel?

Studies have shown that when people hear words of encouragement, they feel good and have a burst of energy. Psychologist Henry H. Goddard studied tired children and found that they had a burst of energy when he said something encouraging to them. But when he said something negative, they became even more tired.

Ultimately, a direct connection exists between being likeable and being genuinely interested in other people. William King once said, “A gossip is one who talks to you about other people. A bore is one who talks to you about himself. And a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself.”

couple, date, conversation, 30-second rule, chatting, encouragement, small talkYou can do it!


Every time you start a new conversation with someone, take the opportunity to share some words of encouragement with the other person, and you’ll be on your way to being seen as a brilliant conversationalist.

This article originally appeared in May. It has been updated.

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Ask kids this basic question to instantly make them more cooperative — the answer doesn't matter

Just by asking and listening, you've already won.

via Hunter Johnson/Unsplash

This trick can fix any attitude.

Raising kids can be a frustrating experience, no matter how rewarding you also find it. Sometimes, it can feel like half of parenting is repeating yourself over and over again, asking your child to brush their teeth or take a dish from the living room to the sink. It’s exhausting and makes you feel like a nag. Don't you wish there was a simple way to make your kids listen the first time?

Dr. Rebecca Kennedy, aka “Dr. Becky,” is a clinical psychologist and founder and CEO of Good Inside who says she has a quick way to make your kids more cooperative and less rude. Talk about killing two soul-crushing birds with one parenting stone. Dr. Becky got into psychology after struggling with anorexia as a teenager.

“Okay, no matter how old your kid is, you can use this 15-second tip to decrease rudeness and increase cooperation,” she says in a TikTok video with over 32,000 views. “Find your child today and ask them this question. 'Hey, I was just wondering, what could I do better as your parent?'”

parents, children, child, parenting, trick, communication A mom and son talk on the couch.Canva Photos

The psychologist says that even if the child has a random or impractical answer such as “Let me stay up ‘til midnight” or “I’d like to eat macaroni and cheese for breakfast, lunch and dinner,” just to listen. Simply by listening, you can change your child’s behavior.

She says we should also ask more questions to further the conversation: “Tell me more. What would that be like?”

@drbeckyatgoodinside

Want to improve your relationship with your kid in less than 15 seconds? Watch this reel for a quick-win strategy. The best part: When we use strategies like this in calm moments, we reduce the frequency of difficult moments with our kids. Of course, I’m a realist… I know you need in-the-moment strategies too! Cue: My Conquering Problem Behaviors Workshop. You’ll get an entire toolbox of in-the-moment and outside-the-moment strategies for reducing outbursts and strengthening your bond with your kid. Learn more in the link in bio!

“I mean, imagine your boss coming to you randomly and asking how they could be a better manager to you. Just by asking the question and listening,” she continued. Dr. Becky says that asking our kids how we’re doing as parents communicates three essential ideas: “I care about you. I respect you. I'm invested in this relationship.”

This type of questioning builds a connection with a child that can spill over into other behaviors. “You're building connection. And with more connection always comes more cooperation,” she ends the video.

The big takeaway from the video is that when we enhance our connection with our kids, they will be less likely to disobey or be rude because they feel heard and respected, so there’s no need to act out. They will also return that respect by listening to you when you have a request, such as taking out the trash or putting down their phone and coming to dinner.

Some people in the comments got funny responses when they asked their kids what they could improve. “I asked my 5yr old. I got a mildly scathing look and she said ‘erm, maybe try and burn dinner less next time?’” one parent wrote. “My 5 yo told me to look better and get a haircut,” another added.

Dr. Becky’s quick question is a great way for parents to strengthen their relationships when things are going well instead of trying to forge connections during conflict. It’s a great reminder that even when parenting, an ounce of prevention is a pound of cure.

family, parents, kids, parenting, bonding A happy family.Canva Photos

Dr. Becky sums up the importance of prevention in her TikTok caption: “When we use strategies like this in calm moments, we reduce the frequency of difficult moments with our kids,” she wrote.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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You only have to know 4 personality 'colors' to converse easily with just about anyone

When you know someone's color, you know how to relate.

via Vinh Giang/YouTube

Which of the 4 personality colors are you?

Do you struggle to communicate effectively with certain personalities? Are you on a totally different page from your boss who intimidates you (RED)? You can’t get a word in with your nephew, who never takes himself seriously (YELLOW)? Your spouse is reliable but always asking for more details and wants to overplan everything (BLUE)? Or does your BFF never have an opinion on anything (GREEN)?

The good news is that if certain people are frustrating to talk to, you’re not alone. In fact, according to Swedish behavioral expert Thomas Erikson, author of Surrounded By Idiots: The Four Types of Human Behaviour (or, how to Understand Those Who Cannot Be Understood), we have a hard time communicating with most people because we all have one of four communication personality types, and they often clash.

It’s great when you are, say, a BLUE talking to a BLUE and you both appreciate having a logical back-and-forth filled with plenty of details. However, if you’re a YELLOW and they’re a RED, you may find the person you’re speaking to is impatient and they think you are exasperating.


Let’s take a look at the four color personalities. Everyone is a combination of different colors, but everyone has a core language that they speak:

RED: (Dominant) Decisive, competitive, goal-oriented, and assertive. Focused on action and results.

GREEN: (Stable) Empathetic, patient, calm. Focused on cooperation, relationships, and harmony.

BLUE: (Analytical) Precise, cautious, detail-oriented. Focused on accuracy, structure, and logic.

YELLOW: (Inspiring) Persuasive, sociable, enthusiastic. Focused on fun, recognition, and creativity.

Which of the 4 personality colors are you?

If, after reading the description, you’re not entirely sure which color you are, take this free quiz here.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Communications Expert Vinh Giang explained how to interact with the different colors on his YouTube page. "Now, I'm not telling you to change the essence of who you are,” Giang says. “I'm telling you that if you want to be a more effective communicator, you need to learn how to adjust your delivery and speak in their communication style so that you can connect better with them.”

Here’s how he explains talking to different colors (text has been edited for length and clarity):

RED:

Ensure you are direct, decisive, and confident, and use frameworks effectively when communicating. They love the frameworks because they will help you become clearer, concise, and coherent. They respect speed, clarity, and results. So, skip the fluff and focus on the outcome.

YELLOW:

Be enthusiastic, positive, and engaging. Don't say, "Let me give you a five-hour tutorial exactly on how to use this particular camera," instead of that, say, "Hey, just hit the record button. Have some fun. Go work it out as you go. You're going to love it." Why do this? Well, because they thrive on energy, ideas, and stories. Keep it light. Keep it fun. Keep it creative. Let them roam free.

GREEN:

Be calm, patient, and supportive. Don't say, "We need to make this change right now. Now, now, now, now, now." Say instead, "Hey, listen. I know this is a shift, but we'll move at a pace that feels comfortable for you, and I'm going to support you all the way through it." Greens value harmony and reliability. So, slow down, listen, and avoid pushing too hard too fast.

BLUE:

Be precise, structured, and factual. Don't say, "Don't worry about the details. Just trust me." Instead, say, "Here's all the data, and here's the step-by-step plan that I've created from the data, and I want to give it to you so you can do a quick double check if you want." Do you notice the subtle change there for the blue? They care about accuracy and process.

meeting, business, laptops, speech, looking at you People looking at you while you make a speech.via Canva/Photos

While some people may feel they are being inauthentic by changing their communication style based on other people’s core personality colors, Giang reminds us that the best communicators can tailor their message to their audience.

“Masterful communicators meet people where they are and make the connection effortless,” Giang says. “We often hear the phrase, ‘Be yourself.’ And yes, look, that is true to a certain extent. But if you want to truly connect with others, you also have to learn to be dynamic like water. You adapt to the shape of the vessel that you're poured into.”

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A coconut saved President John F. Kennedy's life during WWII, and the story is wild

JFK and 10 fellow Navy crew members were stranded on a deserted island in the South Pacific.

Images via Wikipedia/Reddit

During World War II, President John F. Kennedy served in the Navy when his boat sank in the South Pacific.

John F. Kennedy was sworn in as the 35th President of the United States on January 20, 1961. But before that, he served in the United States Navy during World War II—and almost didn't survive.

Kennedy joined the Navy in 1941. After years of training and never seeing active combat, he actively sought out the opportunity to do so—and in April 1943, he was transferred to a torpedo boat base at Tulagi Island in the Solomon Islands in the South Pacific.

He commanded a patrol torpedo boat called PT 109. On August 1, he was sent out on an overnight patrol to intercept Japanese warships when it collided with a Japanese defender. PT 109 was split in two and eventually sunk, killing two crew members. Miraculously, Kennedy and 10 of his crewman survived—in part due to the future president's heroics.

Kennedy, who injured his back, and his crewman were left to swim ashore to a small deserted island called Plum Pudding. A strong swimmer, Kennedy pulled one of the injured crewman to shore using his teeth that were gripping the strap of a lifejacket worn by the injured crewman for over three miles. The crew were in the water for 15 hours before making landfall.

However, once they arrived on land, they had no food or water. They subsisted on foraged coconuts and rainwater. Four days passed and all hope was lost after multiple attempts at seeking help, until Kennedy and his men were discovered by two indigenous men paddling in a canoe. Serendipitously, the men were working for the Allies. Their names were Biuku Gasa and Eroni Kumana.

To communicate that Kennedy and 10 crew members were still alive, he carved an inscription in the husk of a coconut for Gasa and Kumana to pass along to Allied forces. [Gasa and Kumana heroically risked their lives to do so as well.]

Kennedy inscribed the coconut with the message: "NAURO ISL…COMMANDER…NATIVE KNOWS POS'IT…HE CAN PILOT…11 ALIVE…NEED SMALL BOAT…KENNEDY."

jfk, john f kennedy, coconut, coconut inscription, coconut world war II John F. Kennedy coconut inscription.Image via Reddit

It worked. The message was delivered to a New Zealand camp run by Lt. A. Reginald Evans, who summoned Kennedy first to come to the post with the team of natives. And on August 8, Kennedy's crew was rescued—a strategic feat that was done in enemy waters.

The aftermath was major for Kennedy. He was awarded both the Navy and Marine Corps Medal, as well as the Purple Heart Medal for his valiant efforts to save the crew of PT 109. In an interview, Kennedy later shared that he became a hero because: "It was involuntary. They sank my boat."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Although they never met again in person, Kennedy maintained a relationship with both Gasa and Kumana, exchanging letters with them throughout his presidency. The deserted island he and his crew landed on was later renamed Kennedy Island.

To commemorate the story, Kennedy's father, Joseph P. Kennedy, had the coconut husk preserved in plastic. Kennedy kept the coconut husk on his desk in the Oval Office. Today, the coconut is on display at the John F Kennedy Presidential Library and Museum.

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