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A PERSONAL MESSAGE FROM UPWORTHY
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Some school counselors are using code to let their LGBTQ students know they're safe.

William isn't allowed to tell his LGBTQ students he's on their side, so he has to do it in code. When he overhears them chatting with friends, he strains to absorb the language they use with one another and repeat it one-on-one. In counseling sessions, he refers to the significant others of students and school staff as their "partners" instead of "boyfriends" or "girlfriends."

He had second thoughts about hanging a sign in his office that reads: "Your identity is not an issue."


"I actually checked with my bosses ahead of time," he says. "They were like, 'Nope, you’re good!'"

As a middle-school psychologist in Virginia, William (who requested his real name not be used, for fear of retaliation) has always had to skirt around school board rules restricting his ability to address the fears and challenges of his lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, and queer students out loud. But things have changed.

Before January, William says he would hear a homophobic or transphobic slur from a colleague (not all bullies are students, it turns out) maybe once a month. Now, he says, those voices have gotten much louder — and more persistent.

"The sad part is I can't be as loud as they can be without getting in trouble," he says.

For many school psychologists, sticking up for their LGBTQ students in the Trump era feels a lot like paddling over a cultural tidal wave.

Their efforts are frequently complicated by having to navigate a patchwork of guidelines and legislation governing what they can and can't say, and what they must reveal to parents if asked. Eight states restrict how teachers discuss some LGBTQ topics in schools.

That leaves some educators worried they're not doing enough.

"I’m seeing school counselors who were maybe feeling like they were sitting pretty with their programs and what they had been offering their LGBTQ youth at their sites now ramping it up," says Catherine Griffith, assistant professor of student development at the University of Massachusetts-Amherst School of Education. That means asking for more trainings and workshops, particularly on how to talk about trans-specific issues, like pronoun usage and bathroom conflicts.

A student in Massachusetts works on homework. Photo by Jewel Samad/Getty Images.

Griffith recommends approaching conversations with struggling students by listening first and recognizing their expertise on their own lives. She also endorses approaches like William's, in which counselors use visual cues (like a sign hanging in an office) and specific language to signal support. Her research into interventions for LGBTQ youth led to the development of a curriculum — which she distributes free to educators — that emphasizes the helpfulness of organized groups to combat social isolation.

For students, Griffith explains, the ability to organize helps them learn from peers, develop a sense of altruism, and bear witness to others' challenges, especially when it feels like voices in positions of authority are aligned against them.

While William struggles to sneak a kind word to a struggling eighth-grader, 3,000 miles away, the kids in Cynthia Olaya's Campus Pride Club are lighting bonfires on the beach.

A 14-year veteran psychologist from Long Beach, California, Olaya looks younger than her 40 years, a stroke of genetic good fortune that she believes makes it easier for students to open up to her.

"I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be able to use that," she jokes.

Here in Fountain Valley, where she helps oversee the two-decade-old group, the Trump administration feels far away — literally and figuratively. Earlier this year, when rumors began swirling that the president was prepared to sign an executive order allowing business owners who cite religious convictions to discriminate against LGBTQ customers, her principal addressed the controversy, bluntly, over the school loudspeaker.

"He said, 'Don’t worry students. We’ve still got your back,'" Olaya recalls.

The club, formerly a Gay-Straight Alliance, recently rebranded to be "more trans-inclusive." Her LGBTQ students benefit, she explains, not only from the group, but from robust institutional support and, perhaps most critically, support from their elected representatives. Last year, the state board of education approved a measure requiring that schools add the contributions of LGBTQ Americans to history lessons as early as second grade. A 2017 law bans state-funded travel to states that have anti-LGBTQ laws on the books. In California, there are no rules preventing her from freely discussing her students' gender and sexual orientation.

Her students are worried about what the Trump administration might do to rollback their rights, but most are not panicking — yet.

"I think they feel like, 'We’re safe here,'" she says.

The Trump administration has alternated between playing coy with LGBTQ rights and launching an all-out assault on the policies of the Obama administration.

Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images.

At times, both approaches appear to be on the table simultaneously. The draconian religious freedom order Olaya's students feared in February turned out to be little more than a symbolic statement when it was signed in May. The president announced a similarly harsh measure to ban transgender Americans from serving in the military — but has yet to take steps to implement it. The military, it appears, is ignoring it for the time being.

How LGBTQ kids fare in this whipsaw environment can have less to do with how much their counselors want to help and more with the institutional and legal frameworks that govern how much they can help.

Some communities have followed the president's lead in loosening, or refusing to enforce, current protections. Others are resisting the charge.

In some places — the jury is still out.

Holiday, Florida, is an area in constant transition. In the middle school where psychologist Jacalyn Kay Jackson works, immigrants and students of color mix with white students from "more conservative" families. Many arrive in the district for a year or two before moving on. 80% are on reduced or free lunch. Many are LGBTQ.

Since the inauguration, Jackson says her students have been showing "more anxiety" than usual. While Muslim and immigrant students have received the bulk of harassment from their right-wing peers, the backlash has been stinging her LGBTQ kids as well.

"We did have some transgender students and gender-nonconforming students who were worried that some of the rights that they felt that they had fought hard for were being taken away," she says.

Jackson has held the role of LGBTQ liaison for her district since last school year — and she's thrilled about it. She spends half a day a week teaching other educators in the district how to best support gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer, and trans youth, how to navigate locker and restroom issues, and how to create safe spaces for discussion and recovery from trauma. She's working on a 60-page best practices guide, which she plans to distribute to teachers in her district this coming school year. Despite the occasional complaint, her district is fully behind her work — which gives her much-needed cover.

In her area of Florida, the 2016 shooting at Orlando's Pulse nightclub opened a lot of eyes to the dangers LGBTQ youth face. She hesitates to call it a "silver lining," but that's the phrase that comes to mind. More parents have been going to Pride parades. Many who were formally opposed to, or equivocating on, expanding LGBTQ rights in the district have come around a bit.

"Not that they’re actively supportive, but maybe they’re more possibly supportive, perhaps because it hit closer to home than it ever has been," Jackson says.

A person builds a balloon rainbow near the site of the Pulse shooting in Orlando. Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images.

It's not a cakewalk. Some students in Jackson's school still face rejection from their families. As the Trump administration attempts to dismantle Title IX guidelines and rollback trans-inclusive policies in the military, LGBTQ kids, she explains, need a "buffer to what [they're] hearing on the news," which for many, isn't at home.

Still, with support strong and growing, at school, that "buffer" appears to be holding — for now.

The only reason her work is possible in this social and political climate, she explains, is the last five years of rapid-fire progress toward LGBTQ inclusion and equality.

"Kids really heard a message when marriage equality came through, and prior to that as some of the individual states started recognizing marriage equality," she says. Meanwhile, parents and colleagues who were previously supportive are looking for ways to be more supportive — particularly of trans students.

Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images.

"A lot of them were wondering, 'What pronoun do I use?' and 'How do I support them?' and 'How do I have this conversation?'" Olaya says.

Even in areas where it's hard to keep the door open, there are signs that a metaphorical lock has been smashed off. William recalls counseling one student whose relatives were debating sending her cousin to a conversion therapy camp, and she was worried she would be next. Students, especially younger ones, who reveal too much about their sexuality to teachers often run the risk of being outed to their parents, even if the crisis originates at home. This student, like many others, knew she could come to William for help and that he would keep her confidence.

"The kids know how to ask the right kinds of questions," he says.

Increasingly, their school psychologists are trying to find the space to send the right message back.

"The message is: We’re listening, we’re here for you."

Science

Researchers dumped tons of coffee waste into a forest. This is what it looks like now.

30 dump truck loads and two years later, the forest looks totally different.

One of the biggest problems with coffee production is that it generates an incredible amount of waste. Once coffee beans are separated from cherries, about 45% of the entire biomass is discarded.

So for every pound of roasted coffee we enjoy, an equivalent amount of coffee pulp is discarded into massive landfills across the globe. That means that approximately 10 million tons of coffee pulp is discarded into the environment every year.



When disposed of improperly, the waste can cause serious damage soil and water sources.

However, a new study published in the British Ecological Society journal Ecological Solutions and Evidence has found that coffee pulp isn't just a nuisance to be discarded. It can have an incredibly positive impact on regrowing deforested areas of the planet.

via British Ecological Society

In 2018, researchers from ETH-Zurich and the University of Hawaii spread 30 dump trucks worth of coffee pulp over a roughly 100' x 130' area of degraded land in Costa Rica. The experiment took place on a former coffee farm that underwent rapid deforestation in the 1950s.

The coffee pulp was spread three-feet thick over the entire area.

Another plot of land near the coffee pulp dump was left alone to act as a control for the experiment.

"The results were dramatic." Dr. Rebecca Cole, lead author of the study, said. "The area treated with a thick layer of coffee pulp turned into a small forest in only two years while the control plot remained dominated by non-native pasture grasses."

In just two years, the area treated with coffee pulp had an 80% canopy cover, compared to just 20% of the control area. So, the coffee-pulp-treated area grew four times more rapidly. Like a jolt of caffeine, it reinvigorated biological activity in the area.

The canopy was also four times taller than that of the control.

Before and after images of the forest

The forest experienced a radical, positive change

via British Ecological Society

The coffee-treated area also eliminated an invasive species of grass that took over the land and prevented forest succession. Its elimination allowed for other native species to take over and recolonize the area.

"This case study suggests that agricultural by-products can be used to speed up forest recovery on degraded tropical lands. In situations where processing these by-products incurs a cost to agricultural industries, using them for restoration to meet global reforestation objectives can represent a 'win-win' scenario," Dr. Cole said.

If the results are repeatable it's a win-win for coffee drinkers and the environment.

Researchers believe that coffee treatments can be a cost-effective way to reforest degraded land. They may also work to reverse the effects of climate change by supporting the growth of forests across the globe.

The 2016 Paris Agreement made reforestation an important part of the fight against climate change. The agreement incentivizes developing countries to reduce deforestation and forest degradation, promote forest conservation and sustainable management, and enhance forest carbon stocks in developing countries.

"We hope our study is a jumping off point for other researchers and industries to take a look at how they might make their production more efficient by creating links to the global restoration movement," Dr. Cole said.


This article originally appeared on 03.29.21

Trader Joe's Key lime pie.

A wholesome story from New Jersey shows what can happen when employees and shoppers drop their roles and act like people. It all started when Jeff Greene of Wayne, New Jersey, was checking out the deserts at his local Trader Joe’s with his family on July 6.

During his search, he asked an employee named Tara if the Key lime pie was any good. “Tara, who was putting out other desserts said it was her favorite dessert in Trader Joe’s, and I said, ‘Well, I make a pretty good one, too. But let’s try this one,’” he said in a viral TikTok video.

Jeff took Tara’s advice and put the pie in his shopping cart. But when he went to check out, Tara intervened. "She handed me a box of key lime pie with a receipt taped to the top," he told People. "She had bought me a key lime pie herself and took the one I was about to purchase out of my cart. It was such a lovely and unexpected gesture."

A week later, Jeff decided to repay the kind gesture. “My wife and I were kind of just hanging out, and I said, ‘You know what? Let’s make the pie,’” Jeff told Today.com.

@sophiegreene__

Some wholesome sunday content & pie. We love @Trader Joe's @trader joes & Tara !! #wholesomemoments #traderjoesmusthaves #dadsbelike #parentsbelike

In the video, Jeff’s son filmed him driving to Trader Joe’s to give his homemade pie to Tara. “Was such a nice surprise, it was so unexpected, so I decided that I was going to make my homemade Key lime pie and bring it to Tara and that’s what we’re doing,” Jeff said in the video. “If a stranger brought me a pie, not sure if I’d eat it, but here’s hoping Tara at least appreciates the gesture.”

When Jeff returned to Trader Joe's with the pie, Tara was shocked. “Oh my God!” she said with a huge smile. “This made my day, you don’t even know.”

“Can I give you all a hug? You don’t know how much this made my day,” Tara said, while welling up with happy tears. “This was so nice of you to do.” Before he left the store, Jeff made sure she kept the pie frozen.



The heartfelt exchange struck a nerve with people on TikTok. "So special and to know people still care about people," Tiffany wrote in the comments. "Tara is a gift to the world; you are a gift to this world, and I’m willing to bet that pie is also a gift to this world!" Jordan added.

Jeff thought giving Tara the pie was a great thing to do in a world with so much negative news. "I thought it could potentially be a really positive thing to do," Jeff told Today. "Especially given everything going on in the world, a small act of kindness and humanity goes a long way."

The funny thing is that the Greene family has yet to taste the original Key lime pie Tara gave them at Trader Joe’s. “We can’t really go back to Trader Joe’s until we’ve actually tried the pie that she bought us,” Jeff joked.

Family

Naming twins is an art. Here are some twin names people say are the best they've ever heard.

With twins, all the regular pressures of having a baby are doubled, including choosing a name.

Are you in favor of rhyming twin names? Or is it too cutesy?

Having twins means double the fun, and double the pressure. It’s a fairly known rule to name twins in a way that honors their unique bond, but that can lead to overly cutesy pairings that feel more appropriate for nursery rhyme characters than actual people. Plus, it’s equally important for the names to acknowledge each twin’s individuality. Again, these are people—not a matching set of dolls. Finding the twin baby name balance is easier said than done, for sure.

Luckily, there are several ways to do this. Names can be linked by style, sound or meaning, according to the baby name website Nameberry. For example, two names that share a classic style would be Elizabeth and Edward, whereas Ione and Lionel share a similar rhythm. And Frederica and Milo seem to share nothing in common, but both mean “peaceful.”

Over on the /NameNerds subreddit, one person asked folks to share their favorite twin name pairings, and the answers did not disappoint.


One person wrote “Honestly, for me it’s hard to beat the Rugrats combo of Phillip and Lillian (Phil and Lil) 💕”

A few parents who gave their twin’s names that didn’t inherently rhyme until nicknames got involved:

"It's the perfect way! Christmas cards can be signed cutely with matching names, but when they act out you can still use their full name without getting tripped up.😂"

"The parents of a good friend of mine did this: her name is Allison and her sister is Callie. Their names don’t match on the surface, but they were Alli and Callie at home."

“Alice and Celia, because they’re anagrams! Sound super different but have a not-so-obvious implicit connection.”

This incited an avalanche of other anagram ideas: Aidan and Nadia, Lucas and Claus, Liam and Mila, Noel and Leon, Ira and Ria, Amy and May, Ira and Ari, Cole and Cleo…even Alice, Celia, and Lacie for triplets.

Others remembered name pairs that managed to sound lovely together without going into cutesy territory.

twin names, twins, babies, baby namesThese matching bunny ears though. Photo credit: Canva

“I know twin toddler boys named Charlie and Archie and they go so well together,” one person commented.

Another wrote, “Tamia and Aziza. I love how they follow the same sound pattern with the syllable endings (-uh, -ee, -uh) without being obnoxiously matchy matchy.”

Still another said, “Lucy and Logan, fraternal girl/boy twins. I think the names sound so nice together, and definitely have the same 'vibe' and even though they have the same first letter they aren't too matchy-matchy.”

Other honorable mentions included: Colton and Calista, Caitlin and Carson, Amaya and Ameera, Alora and Luella, River and Rosie, and Eleanor and Elias.

One person cast a vote for shared style names, saying, “If I had twins, I would honestly just pick two different names that I like separately. I tend to like classic names, so I’d probably pick Daniel and Benjamin for boys. For girls my two favorites right now are Valerie and Tessa. I think Val and Tess would be cute together!”

Overall though, it seems that most folks were fans of names that focused on shared meaning over shared sound. Even better if there’s a literary or movie reference thrown in there.

twin names, twins, babies, baby namesMany adult twins regret that their names are so closely linked together. Photo credit: Canva

“My mom works in insurance, so I asked her. She’s seen a lot of unique ones, but the only twins she remembers are Gwenivere [sic] and Lancelot... bonus points... little brother was Merlin,” one person recalled.

Another shared, “If I had twin girls, I would name them Ada and Hedy for Ada Lovelace and Hedy Lamarr, both very early computer/tech pioneers. Not that I’m that into tech, I just thought it was a brilliant combination.”

Other great ones: Susan and Sharon (think the original “Parent Trap”), Clementine and Cara (types of oranges), Esme and Etienne (French descent), Luna and Stella (moon and stars), Dawn and Eve, plus various plant pairings like Lily and Fern, Heather and Holly, and Juniper and Laurel.

Perhaps the cleverest name pairing goes to “Aubrey and Zoe,” since…wait for it… “they’re A to Z.”

It’s easy to see how naming twins really is a cool opportunity for parents to get creative and intentional with their baby naming. It might be a challenge, sure, but the potential reward is having the most iconic set of twins ever. Totally worth it!

Pop Culture

Keanu Reeves gets emotional while sharing how much 'The Matrix' means to him

Reeves shared his favorite memories of each of his biggest films. When he got to 'The Matrix,' there was a noticeable change.

Raph_PH/Wikipedia, Photo by Shannon Kunkle on Unsplash

“’The Matrix’ changed my life."

Keanu Reeves might have broken into the industry through “Bill and Ted,” and was an established '90s action actor thanks to films like “Speed” and “Point Break.” But his iconic role as Neo in “The Matrix” truly catapulted him into stardom.

For many, “The Matrix” was both a thrilling cinematic escape and a powerful spiritual experience—exploring what it means to be human in the digital age, all while kicking ass in cool leather trench coats. And Reeves was the hero that took us on that journey.

Of course, he would go on to be the center of another legendary franchise with “John Wick” and would become a legend off-camera as a genuinely compassionate and generous person. But to think—we might have not had any of it had Reeves never taken that red pill.

It turns out that not even Reeves himself takes that moment in his life for granted.


During a recent interview with Stephen Colbert on “The Late Show,” the host mentioned several of Reeves’ movies that were celebrating an anniversary this year — “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure,” 35; “Point Break,” 33; “Speed,” 30; “The Matrix,” 25; and “John Wick,” 10.

Colbert then asked Reeves to name a fond memory from each of these iconic movies in a lightning-round style. Reeves was able to get out simple answers like “friendship” for “Bill and Ted” and “the genius of Catherine Bigelow” for “Point Break,” but when he got to “The Matrix,” there was a palpable, emotional pause.

After about twenty seconds, Reeves replied, “’The Matrix’ changed my life. And then, over these years, it’s changed so many other people’s lives in really positive and great ways.”

Gathering himself, he concluded, “As an artist, you hope for that when you get to do a film or tell a story…it’s the best.”

It was so well said that Colbert didn’t bother trying to get a memory for “John Wick” but instead shook his hand and ended the segment.

Watch:

"The Matrix" Changed My Life - Keanu Reeves Shares Fond Memories Of His Most Iconic Filmswww.youtube.com

Down in the comments, people were once again moved by Reeves’ heartfelt authenticity.

“Keanu's response to the Matrix question was so profound.”

“That really got me. So moving. As for the movie itself, to this day, The Matrix is still the most mind-blowing experience I've ever had in a theatre!”

“The answer, his face, his body language, how he changed his emotion so fast just gave me chills and I cried. He knows the truth.”

“What a real dude. There's a reason everyone loves him.”

“Do we all simply want to burst into tears when he emotionally recounts how The Matrix has touched people?”

“To this day, The Matrix remains my favorite movie of all time. Full stop. It's amazing to see him get so emotional when he talks about it.”

“He almost made me cry, that was a raw emotional sincere comment he made - just beautiful.”

“The Academy Awards will honor Keanu Reeves one day with a lifetime achievement award. No doubt. The Matrix is the best sci-fi movie ever made and Keanu was brilliant in the role. A beautiful human being. I always support his work. I wish him the best this world offers.”

By the way, if all this Matrix nostalgia has got you wishing you could see it on the big screen again, you’re in luck! AMC will be presenting a special anniversary screening of it in September.

Entrepreneur Richard Branson.

To paraphrase a popular adage about a tree falling in the woods: If you have a meeting and nobody takes notes of what was said, did the meeting ever really occur in the first place?

That’s the core question at the center of one of billionaire entrepreneur, Virgin Group founder, adventurer and philanthropist Richard Branson’s most important habits. He takes pen-and-paper notes during every meeting.

"I love learning," Branson explained on the “Worklife” podcast with Adam Grant. "I can never understand how people can have a meeting with somebody and not take notes. If you're having a meeting with a group of people where you're planning to sort out issues and not take notes, you're only going to remember two or three things from that meeting. And quite often from a meeting, you might have a list of 20 ideas that come out of it."


He’s got a great point. If people only leave the meeting remembering a handful of ideas, then some great suggestions that should be followed up on magically disappear. The good ideas that deserved reconsidering have been blown away into the ether, never to be considered again.

Branson believes that following up on ideas presented at meetings can take a company up another level.

"It's important to follow up on and it's very important to get back to the person who came up with those ideas and either respond positively or say why you disagree. By dealing with all those small things quickly, you go from potentially becoming an average company into becoming an exceptional company, and the staff who work there are really appreciative that their issues have been dealt with," Branson concludes.

The entrepreneur blames the lack of note-taking squarely on men. He adds that leaving all the note-taking to women does a real disservice to men.



“In my experience, 99 percent of people in leadership roles don’t take notes. What’s more, males are less likely to take notes than their female counterparts,” Branson writes on LInkedIn. “Not only is this unfair to women, but it’s also disadvantageous to men. It’s time for men to step up and do their share of support work. On top of counteracting gender bias in the work force, it will also give men a better understanding of what going on within the business and what needs to be done to make things run more effectively.”

Running meetings without taking notes also makes it harder for meaningful work actually to get done. “This often happens with, for instance, politicians. We will have a meeting, talk about dozens of ideas to improve things, and they won’t write anything down. They might remember one of the ideas, but what about all of the others? They will have to muddle through and little will get done,” he wrote on Virgin’s blog.

Ultimately, it’s essential for people to take notes because great ideas can be lost forever without them. “No matter how big, small, simple or complex an idea is, get it in writing,” Branson wrote. “But don’t just take notes for the sake of taking notes, go through your ideas and turn them into actionable and measurable goals. If you don’t write your ideas down, they could leave your head before you even leave the room.”