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She saw the dad who abandoned her living on the street. Then she fought to save his life.

The stunning before-and-afters of the homeless dad whose story went viral.

In April 2013, Diana Kim spotted her father for the first time in decades.

He was living on the street, disheveled and unkempt, and didn't have a clue who she was.

A photograph taken by Kim of her father while he was living on the streets. Photo courtesy of Diana Kim, "The Homeless Paradise."

As you can imagine, Kim — now 30 years old — didn't quite know what to think or how to feel. Her father had abandoned her when she was about 5, and she had no relationship with the seemingly homeless man before her.

"He hadn't been part of my life, he wasn't there," Kim explained. It was an emotional experience, "having to deal with my own personal feelings of being abandoned, and then at the same time recognizing that he's a person, just like [every other homeless person] I have reached out to."

"He wouldn't talk to me, wouldn't acknowledge me," she told Upworthy of that initial attempt to interact with him. "Then it started to really become clear to me that something is wrong with him mentally. He's mentally ill."

It was a unique situation for Kim, in particular, to find herself in.

Homelessness hit close to home for Kim long before she discovered her own father roaming the streets. She'd been an advocate for the homeless for years, and now her own father was among those she was fighting for.

Kim as a child, photographed with her father. Photo courtesy of Diana Kim, "The Homeless Paradise."

Kim grew up in Hawaii, which is trying to curb unrelenting increases in homelessness — including a 24% increase in chronic homelessness just last year. Kim's turbulent family life left her battling what she considers "transitional homelessness" as a teen. Kim, who chose not to talk about her relationship with her mother, had slept in parks, lived out of a car, and relied on the kindness of friends to put a roof over her head some nights.

In large part because of her personal experiences, Kim began using photography to bring more visibility to homelessness back in 2003. "When you grow up at an early age and you experience struggle, that shapes the way you see the world."

Little had she known how much her advocacy would come full circle.

Homelessness has become a dire issue in the Aloha State, where chronic homelessness increased by 24% last year.

Kim was an ally to those living on the streets but could also remember the pain left behind by an absent father. It was only because her grandma had called, distraught and asking for help, that Kim agreed to find her father in the first place.

"He hadn't been part of my life, he wasn't there," she explained. It was an emotional experience "having to deal with my own personal feelings of being abandoned, and then at the same time recognizing that he's a person, just like [every other homeless person] I have reached out to."

As Kim later learned, her father was schizophrenic, and he'd stopped taking his medication.

Photo courtesy of Diana Kim, "The Homeless Paradise."

Kim decided to fight for the dad who wouldn't even make eye contact with her — the dad she didn't know.

When she initially spotted him on the street, Kim's father did have a studio apartment he could go home to. But he lost it shortly thereafter — he'd been "scaring" his neighbors and wasn't able to take care of his personal hygiene.

"No one could get through to him," Kim explained. "He was evicted, and he had no place to go."

For the next several months, Kim routinely visited him on the street, trying to reconnect and persuade him to seek help. It was exhausting, and she didn't know if he'd survive.

But she did everything she could to help.

"At some point, you have to face your own fears and your own insecurities and your own pain," she told Upworthy. "And [for me] it was looking at my father and saying, 'That's my dad, and I'm going to help him, and I don't know what I have to do — I don't know what I'm supposed to do — to get through to him. But I'm going to stay with him and figure it out."

Photo courtesy of Diana Kim, "The Homeless Paradise."

Years ago, Kim started a photo blog, " The Homeless Paradise," that documents her interactions with Hawaiians living without stable shelter. After discovering her father, she began telling his story through the blog as well. Its pages are filled with tragedy, hope, and Kim's determination to help the world see Hawaii's homeless as people, not problems.

"I can't even count the number of times I have tried to get [my father] to accept clothing, and consider going to a shelter," she wrote in August 2014 about a particularly trying day with her dad. "Sometimes I walk away with a sense of defeat, other times I find myself feeling completely disconnected, and in this most recent encounter, I walked away feeling a mix of both."

In late summer 2014, Kim's father's health took a turn for the worse.

Someone called the police after finding him face-down on the sidewalk. Her father had suffered a heart attack. And because he had no ID or medical records, it took weeks for word to make it to Kim.

Photo courtesy of Diana Kim, "The Homeless Paradise."

Although her immediate reaction was overwhelming uncertainty — "I wasn't sure if he was going to make it" — medical attention ended up being the best thing for him.

In a way, his hospitalization was a blessing in disguise.

Her father's time in the hospital helped give him a new starting point.

Since his hospitalization about a year ago, Kim's dad has taken substantial steps forward in bettering his life. Now he's living in an assisted living residence and taking his medication, and Kim's relationship with him has evolved "day by day."

Upon his return to a healthier state, Kim learned that he'd battled serious mental health issues since 1990, which had affected his ability to nurture a relationship with her all those years.

Photo courtesy of Diana Kim, "The Homeless Paradise."

"To see my dad go from a place where he was really just a shell, and now to be filled again — with love, with hope, with dreams, and desire — it's an amazing experience," she said, noting he's even been able to get his driver's license again. "And I think that everyone who's out there is capable of it."

Kim's blossoming relationship with her dad further inspired her to build a career focused on helping those who need it.

With just one year left at the University of Hawaii's William S. Richardson School of Law, Kim plans to use her degree to help people who've been in her father's shoes.

She volunteers at a nonprofit that provides legal services to veterans and homeless individuals and, of course, is still using her camera and blog to tell the stories of Hawaii's homeless.

Photo courtesy of Diana Kim, "The Homeless Paradise."

"The camera itself has always been a catalyst for change in my eyes," she said. "But it's now bridging it with the world of law and policy, and being able to help shape the outcomes in our community that makes it really fulfilling and meaningful."

And perhaps the best part?

"He's really proud of me," she says.

Kim has also launched a Kickstarter to supply the homeless with a vital tool in keeping them safe: a bracelet.

"I realized shortly [after my father was hospitalized] how important it is to have IDs and other important documentation to reintegrate into society," she wrote on her Kickstarter page. "Many homeless individuals face the threat of losing their documents, having them stolen, or thrown away by city and county sweeps."

Kim's father looks at family photos. Photo courtesy of Diana Kim, "The Homeless Paradise."

That's why Kim partnered with CARE Medical History Bracelets in digitizing forms of ID and crucial medical documents for any homeless person who wants to participate. She aims to provide them with a bracelet so their personal information and health status can be more accessible to health professionals than her father's was.

The fundraiser is now closed, but it also helped Kim raise funds to produce photo books of "The Homeless Paradise." And Kim has told Upworthy that people can continue to support her work by donating or ordering prints of her photos on The Homeless Paradise blog. She says the proceeds will go for the ongoing efforts of the Kickstarter.

The past couple of years have been an emotional yet fulfilling roller coaster for Kim.

But one lesson she's learned is that love will always find its way into your heart if you let it.

"In the journey of emotionally and physically caring for my father, I learned that nothing can be truer than love," she wrote on her blog. "I love him. It doesn't matter what he did, or what he didn't do. The pain and suffering that he experienced, and caused me over all those years, didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was that he had the opportunity to live again, to function again, to have a second chance. And now he has it."

Photo courtesy of Diana Kim, "The Homeless Paradise."

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How humanitarian parole programs help migrant families in crisis

Through her work as a humanitarian parole sponsor, Sandra McAnany has helped uplift more than a dozen Latin American migrants and changed lives in the process.

Sandra visiting E’s family in Georgia (2023)

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Sandra McAnany isn’t one to sit on the sidelines. A 58-year-old grandmother from Wisconsin, McAnany spends her days teaching soft skills classes to adults and spending time with her family. Outside the classroom, however, she’s taken on a role that’s helping people in a big way: serving as a humanitarian parole sponsor and personally taking on the financial responsibility of supporting families fleeing from persecution, violence, and instability.

Since 2023, McAnany has welcomed 17 migrants—11 adults and six children through the CHNV humanitarian parole program, which allows individuals and families from Cuba, Haiti, Nicaragua and Venezuela to live and work temporarily in the United States with the support of an approved sponsor.

“Everyone has their own views and perspectives, but every person I sponsored is thriving and doing well here,” McAnany said.

McAnany didn’t know any of the parolees before sponsoring them, but she had a commitment to helping families from Venezuela specifically, hoping to reunite them with their families who were already living in the United States. After “praying a lot along the way” and communicating with the applicants through WhatsApp, she decided to apply as a sponsor and help them settle into the United States.

“I have a bedroom and a bathroom in my basement,” McAnany says. “My door is open and will always be open for any of the people I sponsored, if they ever have a need for housing.”

Sandra’s granddaughter, E’s daughter, and another friend at an indoor park (July 2025)

At the time, McAnany decided to volunteer as a sponsor to make friends and help other people through hardship. Now, her mission has grown: Seeing how humanitarian parole programs have changed her parole beneficiaries’ lives—as well as her own—for the better.

Humanitarian parole: A long history

Humanitarian parole programs are nothing new. Since 1952, both Democratic and Republican administrations have used humanitarian parole to provide a safer, lawful pathway for noncitizens to enter and live temporarily in the United States. In recent years, through different programs, people from Afghanistan, Ukraine, Cuba, Haiti, and other countries have been able to come to the U.S. to escape urgent crises in their own countries, such as political instability or war.

Coming to the United States through humanitarian parole is no easy feat. The process has its own strict criteria and involves extensive applications and vetting for both beneficiaries and their sponsors. Parolees don’t need to qualify for any other immigration benefit like asylum, but they need to meet the standard for humanitarian parole and successfully pass vetting requirements.

According to Refugees International, 532,000 people have been granted parole through the CHNV program.

A life-changing experience

From the moment she met her first parole beneficiaries at the airport—two families —McAnany already knew it would be a life-changing experience. “It immediately felt like family, like we were lifelong friends,” she said. But she could also sense that it was a culture shock for the parolees. On the way home from the airport, McAnany pulled into a nearby McDonald's and encouraged them to order dinner. Hearing the word “Big Mac,” the families smiled in recognition.

Despite the culture shock, McAnany’s parole beneficiaries had to adapt quickly to life in the United States. Once they were settled, McAnany worked “nonstop” to help the families acclimate to their new lives, answering questions about school and vaccinations while also helping them create resumes, search for jobs, and find English classes online.

It was through this process that McAnany realized just how resilient people could be, and was amazed “not only how hard it was for individuals to leave their loved ones behind, but the amount of work they did to come to the country and remain here.” McAnany also realized how fortunate she was to have her own family living nearby. “I can’t imagine any one of us leaving a country and being apart for an unknown length of time,” she said.

Eventually, and as circumstances changed—one of the parolees found a new job in another city, for example, and was able to move out. But no matter the length of time they spent with each other, McAnany says that with every parolee they formed a bond built for life. One woman, who she refers to as ‘E,’ has even become “like an adopted daughter.” McAnany has traveled to Georgia, where E now lives, three times to visit her.

Uncertain ground: What’s next for humanitarian parole programs

Despite being a critical part of immigration policy in the United States for the last 73 years, humanitarian parole programs are under threat. Immigrant justice nonprofits Justice Action Center and Human Rights First are currently suing the federal government to protect humanitarian parole programs and allow parole beneficiaries to remain in the country for the duration of their parole. McAnany is a plaintiff in the lawsuit.

One of the ladies Sandra sponsored from Venezuela and her partner during Sandra’s first visit to meet her (December 2023)

Participating in the lawsuit has only further bolstered McAnany’s belief in and support for humanitarian parole programs. She hopes the lawsuit will be successful, she says, so that parole beneficiaries and their families can finally have some stability.

“We don’t know what the future is,” she says, “but I want to be optimistic and hopeful that every person I sponsored will be able to stay here safely in the U.S. and continue to thrive.”

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.


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Expert reveals the one question to ask to make a great first impression in 9 seconds

There should be one focus when you meet someone new.

via Canva/Photos

A woman talking to people she just met.

It’s essential to make a great first impression with someone, whether it's a job interview, buying someone a drink at a bar, or serving someone a meal at a restaurant. The problem is that people form a concrete judgment of someone in just seven seconds, which can be incredibly hard to shake.

“Human beings are built to size each other up quickly,” Psychology Today says. "These first impressions are influenced by a number of factors, such as facial shape, vocal inflection, attractiveness, and general emotional state. People tend to get attached to their initial impressions of others and find it very difficult to change their opinion, even when presented with lots of evidence to the contrary.”

While it can feel impossible to combat such a snap judgment, Sally Hogshead says that when we interact with people for the first time, we should only have one question on our minds: “How can I add value to this person?” Hogshead is a New York Times bestselling author, National Speakers Association Hall of Fame speaker, chief executive officer of How to Fascinate (Fascinate, Inc.), and a former advertising executive.

introduction, first imrpession, business card, networking event, handshake, eye contact A man handing a woman his business card at an event.via Canva/Photos

Ask yourself: How can I add value to this person?

It makes sense. When someone meets you for the first time, they don’t know anything about you. The other person is asking themselves the big WIIFM: What’s in it for me? It feels a little negative to suggest that everyone is out for themselves, but we only have so much time and effort to give to others. What can you bring to the table?

“You want your listener to come away from the conversation feeling good about their investment of time and energy,” Hogshead writes for Inc. “The key here is to add value to every interaction, so that you’re not just occupying conversational space.” Hogshead adds that we don’t have a lot of time to gain the other person's attention, so it’s best to start strong. “Here’s the problem with that approach: Today, the average attention span is about nine seconds. Every time you introduce yourself, you have about nine seconds to engage your listener. When it comes to first impressions, a weak start leads to a poor impression.”

drinks, attraction, first impression, smiling woman, charming man, bar A man and woman sharing a drink at a bar.via Canva/Photos

If you’re not adding value, you’re taking up space

Value will vary depending on the situation and your desired social outcome. When approaching someone for a drink, you can add value by boosting their self-esteem with a compliment. “I think you have really lovely eyes,” or “Is that an old-fashioned you’re drinking? You’ve got great taste, they make good ones here.”

At a networking event, you can introduce yourself and discuss a recent development in the industry. “Hey, I’m Lisa. Have you heard about how Acme Paper Company is using AI to learn the best trees to cut?” Or, “Hey, it’s Malcom, is your company having trouble figuring out which trees to cut? I’ve found a cool new way to save you time and labor costs.”

You can also add value to any person by allowing them to share their thoughts and experiences. When you show genuine interest in someone and let them talk about themselves, they will almost always find you likable. Research has found that asking the first question in a conversation, followed by two follow-ups, dramatically increases your likability.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

It can be disheartening to realize that people often make snap judgments about others that are difficult to overcome, but it’s great to know that, by focusing on how you can benefit another person, you can pull down that wall and give yourself a second chance to make a first impression. Everyone has something valuable to bring to the table, whether you’re inexperienced and can make your superiors feel great by asking them questions or by being able to share your experiences with others to make their lives better. Just know that everyone is open to meeting those who can make their lives better, and you can often be that person.

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British language expert shares 7 American accents that are particularly tricky

Some of these are even challenging for other Americans to understand.

Olly Richards/YouTube

Have you ever heard these 7 unique American accents?

When you think about "American English," what comes to mind? The way we us a hard "r" compared to British English? The way we pronounce "aluminum" and "herbs"? How we say "cookies" instead of "biscuits" and "fries" instead of "chips"?

What about our different accents? While we often marvel about how many accents there are in the U.K. for its size, the U.S has a lot more diversity of accents than people might think. Most of us group American accents into large regional groupings like Northeast, Southern, Midwest, etc., and the people from each of those regions know that there are distinct accents within them (like Boston vs. New York, Tennessee vs. Mississippi). But there are even more hyper-localized accents and dialects that many of us are not exposed to, and some of them are hard even for other Americans to understand.

Language expert Olly Richards shared seven of these accents that are difficult to emulate and explained how they came to be. It's a fascinating celebration of the diversity that many of us aren't aware exists within our language.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

1. The YAT accent of New Orleans, Louisiana

Influenced by West African, German, Italian, Irish, and French immigrants who settled in Louisiana, the YAT accent is named for the way people say "Where you at?" in New Orleans. Words and phrases from this accent include "dawlin" (darling) "Mawmaw" (grandma) "prolly" (probably), "pass a good time" (have a good time), "Who dat?" (Who's that?), and "for noon" (at noon).

The YAT accent is distinct from a southern drawl or from the local Cajun English—it's more akin to a thick New York accent, which Richards says is due to the exact same immigrant groups settling there.

2. The High Tider accent of Outer Banks, North Carolina

Richards calls this an "endangered accent," as it appears to be dying out. It stems from immigration from the south of England and Ireland, but also from pirates of varying backgrounds who used the islands off the coast of North Carolina. The High Tider dialect developed in almost complete isolation for over 250 years, and is a form of archaic English that includes elements found in parts of Canadian English as well. A few words from this dialect include "quamish" (sick or nauseated), "buck" (male friend), and "dingbatter" (outsider).

miami, florida, miami english, accents, american english Miami has its own accent.Photo credit: Canva

3. The Miami English accent of Miami, Florida

Sitting at the tip of Florida, Miami has been heavily influenced by five decades of immigration from Cuba and other parts of the Caribbean as well as Central America. As a result, the English has many elements of Spanish pronunciations and rhythm. English has 20 vowel sounds, but Spanish has only five, so the Miami English accent reflects those Spanish vowel sounds.

4. The Southerner accent of the American South

Okay, this one is a bit fudgey because, as Richards points out, there are actually seven distinct southern accents. But there are some elements that Southerner accents share, one being how they speak more slowly than most of the rest of the country. Southern accent are known for their melodic nature and long, drawn-out vowels. Richards explains that wealthy British traders living in this part of the U.S. in the mid-1700s started dropping their "r" sound as a way to distinguish themselves from the lower classes. We can still hear that characteristic in southern accents today.

Yooper, U.P., upper peninsula, michigan, american accents "Yooper" refers to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, also known as the U.P.Photo credit: Canva

5. The Yooper accent of the Upper Midwest

This accent has its roots in German, Scandinavian, Cornish, French Canadian, and particularly Finnish, and is perhaps most recognized by its affinity for its use of the German-Scandinavian "ja" instead of "yes" and for ending sentences with "eh." Another feature is saying "dem/dere/dat" instead of them/there/that. The term "Yooper" comes from "U.P." or "Upper Peninsula," referring to the northern part of Michigan, but variations of this accent can be found along various parts of the Midwest near the Canadian border.

6. The Mainer accent of Maine

This accent is marked by the dropping of "r" sounds, but also adding an "r" where there shouldn't be one (similarly to the way British folks treat "r"). There also tends to be a slight gruffness in the throat when they speak. The accent is influenced by 17th century English and early French settlers, along with a bit of Scots-Irish. Words and phrases like "from away" (not from Maine), "drownded" (drown), "brung" (bring), and "chuppta" (What are you up to?) are common, and though its association with the working class caused it to dwindle, Richards says the Mainer dialect is having a bit of a renaissance.

Gullah, Georgia coast, atlantic, american accents, dialects Gullah is spoken along the coast of Georgia as well as Florida and the Carolinas.Photo credit: Canva

7. The Gullah accent of the Carolinas, Georgia, and Florida

This unique accent developed in the southern rice fields during the Atlantic slave trade. The enslaved peoples learned English, but it was heavily influenced by the various African languages they spoke, as well as the lower-class English and Irish servants they interacted with. Today, it's mostly African-Americans living along the Atlantic seaboard of North and South Carolina, Georgia, and Florida who use the Gullah dialect. The word "Kumbaya" comes from Gullah, which Richards describes as more than an accent or dialect—it's actually an American creole (a language that evolved from two other languages coming together).

It's easy to imagine the "standard" American English accent seen most often in Hollywood films and TV shows, which most closely aligns with the Western U.S., but in reality, American English is a mishmash of accents and dialects that are more diverse than many of us even know. What a delightful celebration of the English language in all of its colorful manifestations.

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If you struggle with small talk, a simple acronym can make it a lot less painful

All you have to remember is "FORD."

via Gary Barnes/Pexels

Small talk can be painful, but the FORD method can help.

Some people enjoy small talk and are naturally good at it. For others, it feels like mental and emotional torture. There are many reasons why people are nervous about entering social situations where they have to make small talk, such as a work event, a party where they don’t know many people, or at school. Some people don’t enjoy small talk because they get frustrated talking about seemingly unimportant topics.

At the same time, others are shy and afraid they’ll say the wrong thing or run out of topics of conversation. Psychologists suggest those who are uncomfortable knowing what to say should use the FORD method of conversation starters. It’s an acronym that’s an easy way to remember four different topics of conversation that work with just about anyone.

According to Nicole Arzt, M.S., L.M.F.T at Social Self, the FORD acronym stands for Family, Occupation, Recreation and Dreams. Here are some examples of questions that fall under each category.

Family

Just about everyone has a family, so it’s a great way to ask someone to share some information about their personal lives without being too forward. Arzt suggests the following questions when making small talk:

family, small talk, ford method You can ask people about their parents, kids, siblings, grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles, or just family in general.Photo credit: Canva

Do you have any siblings?

How did you two meet? (if you are meeting a couple for the first time)

How old is your child?

How is your____ (sister, brother, mother, etc.) doing since ____ (event that happened?)

Occupation

Just like a family, almost everyone has a job. Or, if they do not, that can be an interesting topic as well. Here are some starter questions you can ask someone about their job.

jobs, occupations, ford method, small talke You can take questions about someone's occupation beyond simply, "What do you do?"Photo credit: Canva

What do you do for a living?

How do you like working at _____?

What’s your favorite part of your job?

What made you interested in becoming a _____?

Recreation

You can learn a lot about a person after knowing how they spend their free time. It’s also an excellent way to determine if someone is like-minded and shares the same interests. Here are some questions to get the ball rolling:

hobbies, what do you do for fun, recreation, ford method, small talk People often love talking about what they do for enjoyment outside of work. Photo credit: Canva

What do you like to do for fun?

Have you watched (or read) ______(popular show/book)?

What are you up to this weekend?

Dreams

Learning someone’s hope for the future can tell you much about who they are on a deeper level. They may have just told you about their current job or how they spend their time. But, ultimately, what do they wish to do with their lives? Here’s how to ask someone about their dreams.

hopes and dreams, ford method, small talke Asking people about their hopes and dreams can be a great way to make more meaningful small talk.Photo credit: Canva

Where do you hope to be working in the next few years?

Where would you like to travel?

What’s something you’d like to try in the future?

Would you ever consider trying _____ (particular hobby or activity)?

Arzt also notes that you shouldn’t just be an interviewer. You have to talk about yourself, too. In other words, you need a mutual take-and-give. “Pay attention to someone else's answers and think about how you can draw from your own experience to connect," she wrote. When you're feeling socially anxious, it can be hard to listen to the other person while also thinking about your own responses, so thinking of the FORD acronym for yourself and having something to share in each category ahead of time can be a way to avoid the dreaded awkward silence that sometimes happens during small talk.

It can also be tricky to know how much you should be talking vs. how much you should be listening. If you're not sure how much to say during a conversation, follow the 43:57 rule. A numbers guy at Gong.io analyzed over 25,000 sales calls with AI and found the perfect speaking-to-listening ratio. Sales soared when the salesperson talked 43% of the time and listened for 57%.

Even though this insight is from business calls, it applies to everyday social interactions. It's really about listening and making the other person feel special. After all, who doesn't love feeling heard and appreciated?

Small talk doesn't have to be torturous, even if it's something you don't look forward to. With a little preparation and some genuine curiosity, it might even become enjoyable as you make new connections with people.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Award-winning health teacher shares why ‘purpose’ is key in raising boys to be successful men

Teens and young men need to feel they are contributing to the world.

via Christopher Pepper (used with permission) and Canva/Photos

Educator Christopher Pepper and scouts with a map.

Over the past decade or so, there has been a significant cultural push towards opening opportunities for girls to excel in traditionally male-dominated fields, such as STEM, or science, technology, engineering, and math. However, many feel that while we all looked to empower girls, boys fell by the wayside. Today's boys are growing up in a world where there is a lot of confusion surrounding masculinity, and they are slipping in both academics and social skills.

What can parents do to counter this decline and help their boys grow into productive, happy, and healthy men? Christopher Pepper, an award-winning health teacher, father of two boys, and co-author of the recently released Talk To Your Boys: 16 Conversations to Help Tweens and Teens Grow into Confident, Caring Young Men, says we can begin by giving them a sense of purpose.

How to give boys a sense of purpose

“I think the idea of purpose is really smart to bring up. That is something that we've seen really helps teenagers just have a concept of where their life is going, having a sense of contributing to the world,” Pepper told an audience at the 2025 Aspen Ideas: Health festival.

- YouTube youtu.be

Lisa Damour, a psychologist who specializes in adolescent development and host of the Ask Lisa podcast, added that this sense of purpose doesn't have to be "curing cancer." It can be as simple as setting the table or taking care of the dog. “That these much more attainable and frankly child-sized things can do the work of purpose until they are ready to think about the grand contributions they'll make to the world,” Damour said.

Pepper adds that boys who build a sense of purpose in their tween and teen years are likely to carry it with them into adulthood. Studies show that a sense of purpose in life can help prevent anxiety and depression in adolescents as well as adult males.

Finding meaning in a career

“I think we can do a lot with boys in particular to encourage them to move into caring roles like taking care of the dog, but being a camp counselor. Doing things where you're a mentor for a younger kid,” Pepper said. “And overall, I would love to see us encouraging more boys and men to go into caring professions. Think about being a teacher. Think about being a therapist. Think about going into medical care. To really see a push around that career option and say that can be your purpose. It can be a way that you contribute to the world, make a decent living, and have a satisfying life.”

Pepper believes that it's parents and mentors' jobs to help boys consider purposeful careers that may not have been on their radar. There are many fields where men are in demand, but they just aren’t pursuing them. “Sometimes boys don't want to go into those [careers] because they're worried, 'What will people think of me?' Or they just don't see that that's a place for them,” Pepper told Upworthy. “So it's a little bit of breaking barriers, like making sure that we can say this is a place for you. It really helps to have men in those roles who can do some recruiting. We've actually seen a decline in the number of male teachers in classrooms.”

Instilling a sense of purpose in boys and young men can open up their world to greater possibilities and provide a sense of happiness and satisfaction that is hard for many to come by these days. In an era where many traditional institutions have fallen by the wayside and people are suffering through a crisis of meaning, a career path with a sense of purpose could mean the difference between falling through the cracks or thriving.

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"It's you who keep me going": 81-year-old writes heartfelt text to his softball teammates

The younger team had no idea how much it meant to the man to be included in the league, and now we're all sobbing.

Sam Evanz/TikTok

81-year-old writes heartfelt text message to younger softball teammates in middle of the night.

It's not been a particularly great week on the Internet. No, scratch that—month. Actually, come to think of it, the last few years haven't been amazing. There's bad news everywhere we look. Divisiveness. Arguing. Violence.

Maybe that's why this small story of kindness and hope is resonating so deeply with everyone who comes across it. It's a simple story of people being good to one another, and that's what we need right now more than ever.

A mom named Sam Evanz occasionally shares updates about her husband's local softball team on TikTok. Recently, she posted an incredibly heartfelt message the team received from one of their teammates. The teammate just so happens to be an 81-year-old man.

Evanz's husband is on a 15-player casual team in Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada. One of the players is 81-year-old Nelson Bradbury. The oldest on the team by a solid margin, Bradbury recently took the chance to tell the guys just how much he appreciated the opportunity to play with them, even though he may not be the best athlete out there anymore.

"Well guys , just up to do my middle of the night pee. I have been laying in bed for the past half hour thinking about tonight's game and thinking about the great bunch of guys I am allowed to play with," the long text message begins, coming through at approximately 2:30 a.m.

"I really appreciate the way you guys treat me as an equal and not just an old fart. ... It's all of you who keep me going and give me the reason to get out of bed in the morning."

You'll just have to read the whole thing in Evanz's post to fully appreciate Bradbury's gratitude and contagious sense of humor.

TikTok · Sam Evanz | boy mom 🤘🏻 www.tiktok.com


Evanz was stunned when her post went massively viral, racking up nearly 15 million views as of this writing.

"The response has been pretty incredible!" she tells Upworthy, saying multiple international media outlets picked up the story including a sports reporter in Italy.

Commenters on the post were overwhelmed with appreciation for Bradbury. And, in an instant, fiercely protective of him.

"EVERYONE BETTER HAVE TEXTED BACK"

"AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM BETTER HAVE TOLD HIM HOW MUCH HE MEANS TO THE TEAM!"

"he’s been thinking this for a while but was scared to say it and i’m so glad he did. now if they didn’t respond we’re riding at dusk cause dawn is too far away."

"It’s just a game to you but for him it’s the reasons he gets up everyday"

The Philadelphia Eagles official TikTok account even chimed in: "Being a teammate is a special thing."

Nelson Bradbury stans will be happy to know that his teammates appreciated the message just as much as the rest of us do. Many of them wrote back the next morning, according to an update posted by Evanz.

"Glad to have ya you old fart!!!" one joked.

"You may not know this but it's your example that keeps a lot of us older... oops... mature players going," another said.

You can see a picture of the whole squad here:

team, community, softball, men, sports, friends TikTok · Sam Evanz | boy mom 🤘🏻 www.tiktok.com


The famous quote from playwright George Bernard Shaw says, "We don't stop playing because we get old. We get old because we stop playing."

Never has the quote been more fitting. Friendship, community, and even play are things all of us humans need. We only need it more as we age. Loneliness reduces our lifespan, while friendship improves not only our longevity but our happiness and quality of life. It may be a simple softball league, but it means a lot to the men who participate, and especially to Bradbury.

Bradbury has a terrific outlook on his life and on how he hopes to spend the rest of his days, of which there are hopefully many. Evanz says that Bradbury is having fun with all the viral attention, and he has even joined TikTok himself so he can keep up with all the mayhem.

"I don't know if I will get another year in the league or not," he writes in the original message. "Shit, I don't buy GREEN bananas any more. But I do know, this will be the year of ball play I will remember."

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