Narcissist expert explains how to recognize a narcissistic relationship and how to get out
"They don't want you to be strong. They don't want you to succeed. They don't want you to get away."
Narcissist has become somewhat of a buzzword across social media platforms. It's become so common that the word has made its way into the daily lexicon of many people and in a sense lost the weight the word carries. Narcissist has become a catch all word for someone that may display toxic or undesirable behaviors.
But narcissism isn't a fun pop culture word, it's an actual mental health condition that requires a proper diagnosis. It also requires more than just doing something that someone doesn't like to meet criteria. In fact, many people that have narcissistic personality disorder aren't diagnosed because they generally don't seek treatment due to exaggerated sense of self-importance, which can lead to toxic relationships.
Dr. Ramani is a clinical psychologist and narcissist expert, she teaches people how to interact with narcissistic people and how to recover from a narcissistic relationship. In a recent interview, Dr. Ramani sat down Lisa Bilyeu, the host of "Women of Impact" and discussed recognizing a narcissistic relationship pattern and how to escape.
Dr. Ramani begins the segment by essentially comparing and contrasting what a healthy relationship is like in comparison to one that involves a narcissistic partner.
"They don't want you to be strong. They don't want you to succeed. They don't want you to get away and they sure as heck don't want you to be independent," Dr. Ramani says. "Narcissism is about dominance, power and control."
She explains that narcissists find it threatening if their partner is successful, particularly if they start to become more successful than the narcissist. But in a healthy relationship, there is no competition around success. The psychologist says in a healthy relationship the partners support each other and work through any insecurities.
There's no need for one partner to shrink themselves so the other is more comfortable. On the other hand, in a narcissistic relationship there are no boundaries and when there are boundaries put in place by the non narcissist partner, the narcissist will punish them.
"There are a lot of different ways narcissistic people punish people," Dr. Ramani explains. "They abandon people, they withhold from people, they humiliate people, they embarrass people publicly."
Not only is the entire conversation eye opening but it is likely extremely helpful for people who may be questioning if they have found themselves in a narcissistic relationship. The full clip is below and Dr. Ramani does an exceptional job at laying things out in easy to understand terms and scenarios.