+
“A balm for the soul”
  review on Goodreads
GOOD PEOPLE Book
upworthy
Family

Parents of kids mid-meltdown get support instead of judgment, and it's so dang beautiful

Parents of kids mid-meltdown get support instead of judgment, and it's so dang beautiful
Photo by Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash, Joy McCullough/Twitter, Amanda/Twitter

Practically everyone who has had kids knows that meltdowns happen. Whether it's a two-year-old who doesn't know how to express themselves or an older kid who is having a particularly rough life moment, children sometimes lose control of their emotions. Unfortunately, meltdowns that happen in public can bring the Judgey McJudgertons out of the woodwork—which is why a Twitter thread of parents receiving kindness and support instead of side-eye and judgment has parents breathing a sigh of relief.

Writer Joy McCullough shared a brief but beautiful story on Twitter that got thousands of shares and prompted parents to share their own stories of strangers' kindness in their darkest parenting moments.


"Toddler is melting down in the library," McCullough wrote. "The mom is mortified. A stern old lady approaches & I hold my breath. 'It's okay,' she tells the mom. 'I've been there. You're doing great.' And then to the toddler, 'You're doing great, too. You're doing your best.'

Now THAT is what every parent—and toddler, for that matter—needs to hear in the midst of a meltdown moment.

Other parents chimed in with stories of their own, and they're the balm all parents of young kids need.


One mom shared how her son was having a public meltdown a few years ago and she was on the verge of tears herself trying to calm him down, when and older woman came over and asked if she could walk with them for a bit.

"She pushed my cart with my son in it while I grabbed our groceries (and monitored) and just talked quietly to my son for a few minutes. He was quiet and listened to her. Once he was calm she patted my arm, said 'it takes a village, right?' and went on her way. She was my angel."

Seriously, unless you've been there at your wit's end as a parent, you can't imagine how helpful someone's kindness and understanding can be.


And other times just a few words of encouragement while you're trying to wrangle an unruly, overtired kiddo can make a world of difference. A simple shout out like "Be strong, mama!" can be just the boost you need to not completely melt down your self.

The thread includes a few "yOuR ToDdelR iS mAnipUlatTinG yOU!" comments from the get-off-my-lawn crowd, but they are far outweighed by stories of support and understanding.


"7yo melted down in hardware store," wrote Melissa Harris. "I did my best to keep calm and calm him. Get to checkout & woman came up to me. She wanted me to know that she thought I had done an amazing job and even in a meltdown my son was cute. Made my month."


"Those moments mean so much to a parent," added Alexa Winton. "My 4yo daughter had literal Roid rage on a flight (steroids for asthma) and the lady next to us only said to me "I forgot how hard it is to travel with young children" And I will never forget that act of kindness."

RELATED: 10 ways kids appear to be acting naughty but actually aren't.



You just never know what a child or parent is dealing with. Even in the absence of special needs, occasional meltdowns are a developmentally normal behavior. With gentle guidance and consistent parenting, kids do eventually move beyond that phase and gradually gain more control over their emotional regulation, but it takes time. And once the tantrum train has left the station, it's usually just a matter of waiting it out until they can actually be reasoned with.


Indeed. It's not like parents teach their kids to throw fits in public. I can't count how many times I heard people say, "If you don't give in to tantrums, they'll stop," when my kids were little. Yeah, no. I never gave my kids something they demanded during a tantrum, but that didn't stop them from occasionally melting down because they were overtired, overstimulated, or simply taxed beyond what their tiny human psyche could handle in the moment.

The whole thread is worth a read. It will restore your faith in humans and remind you of the importance of everyday heroes.


Parents need support, and going out of your way to be kind is far more helpful than going out of your way to judge. Let's hear it for kind old ladies trying to save the world, one little pep talk at a time.

From Your Site Articles
Family

Millennial mom asks her own mom about raising a kid in the 80s and is mortified

"What did you do without Google?!"

@thedailytay/TikTok

"My anxiety could not have handled the 80s."

Raising kids is tough no matter what generation you fall into, but it’s hard to deny that there was something much simpler about the childrearing days of yesteryear, before the internet offered a million and one ways that parents could be—and probably are—doing it all very, very wrong.

Taylor Wolfe, a millennial mom, exemplifies this as she asks her own mother a series of rapid-fire questions about raising her during the 80s and the stark contrast in attitudes becomes blatantly apparent.

First off, Wolfe can’t comprehend how her mom survived without being able to Google everything. (Not even a parent, but I feel this.)

“What did we have to Google?” her mom asks while shaking her head incredulously.

“Everything! For starters, poop!” Wolfe says. “Cause you have to know if the color is an okay color, if it's healthy!”

“I was a nursing mom, so if the poop came out green, it was because I ate broccoli,” her mom responds.

…Okay, fair point. But what about handy gadgets like baby monitors? How did Wolfe’s mom keep her kid alive without one?

“I was the monitor, going in and feeling you,” she says.

@thedailytay My anxiety would have hated the 80s. Or maybe loved it? IDK! #fyp #millennialsontiktok #parenttok #momsoftiktok #comedyvid ♬ original sound - TaylorWolfe

Could it really be that easy? It was for Wolfe’s mom, apparently. Rather than relying on technology, she simply felt her child and adjusted accordingly.

“If you were hot, you slept in a diaper. If you were cold, you had a blanket around you.” Done and done.

Wolfe then got into more existential questions, asking her mom if she ever felt the stress of “only having 18 summers” with her child, and how to make the most of it.

Without missing a beat, Wolfe's mother says, “It's summer, I still have you.”

Going by Wolfe’s mom, the 80s seems like a time with much less pressure.

From feeding her kids McDonald’s fries guilt-free to being spared the judgment of internet trolls, she just sort of did the thing without worrying so much if she was doing it correctly.

That’s nearly impossible in today’s world, as many viewers commented.

“Google just gives us too much information and it scares us,” one person quipped.

Another seconded, “I swear social media has made me wayyyy more of an anxious mom."

Even a professional noted: “As someone who has worked in pediatrics since the 80s, the parents are way more anxious now.”

I don’t think anyone truly wants to go back in time, per se. But many of us are yearning to bring more of this bygone mindset into the modern day. And the big takeaway here: No matter how many improvements we make to life, if the cost is our mental state, then perhaps it’s time to swing the pendulum back a bit.


This article originally appeared on 8.24.23

From Your Site Articles
motherood
Family

The unexpected reason why this mom is totally fine with her 14-year-old teen stealing vodka

"This generation really is different from us."

via Antoni Shkraba/Pexels and Vincent/Flickr

A mother is shicked that her vodka keeps disappearing.

A mother of 3 named Stacey (@StaceyCKs1 on X) realized that a bottle of Grey Goose vodka she had was slowly being emptied, but she hadn’t taken a sip. So she thought it must be one of her children, ages 14, 17 and 23, taking some sneaky sips of her stash.

The funny thing is that anyone who has been a teenager knows that after you take some of the vodka from your parents’ bottle, you replace the amount with water so no one notices you drank some. Until, of course, your parents take a sip and immediately realize it’s been watered down. But whoever was pouring shots from Stacy’s bottle didn’t even worry about getting caught.

Stacey approached her 3 kids to find out which one had been drinking her vodka. The response she got was unexpected, to say the least. It was her 14-year-old daughter, but she wasn’t using the vodka to get drunk.

“Noticed that my vodka supply was dwindling,” she wrote on Twitter. “Confronted 23 and 17, who pointed the finger at 14, who guiltily confessed to making penne allá vodka ‘several times’ over the last month. Didn’t believe her, watched her execute it flawlessly. I guess it’s a TikTok thing?”

The teenager didn’t even try to hide the fact that she was cooking with the vodka. She didn’t “guilty confess”; she “answered the question,” Stackey remarked in the tweet thread. “She wasn’t trying to hide what she was doing. These kids are different than we were.”



To verify that the teen wasn’t lying, Stacey asked her to make some penne allá vodka and the teen “crushed it.” Some people in the comments wondered why she didn’t notice her daughter making elaborate meals in the kitchen. Stacey said the cooking happened while she was working or on the phone and that she doesn’t like pasta. Her daughter also made the meals in the morning to take to school for lunch.

Stacey shared a screenshot of her daughter’s delicious dish.



The mother also shared the recipe for the curious:

A shallot and some garlic sweated in olive oil and a tablespoon of butter, a can of tomato paste, some Calibri chilies, maybe 10 ounces of sand Marzano tomatoes, 2 cups of heavy cream, a cup of fresh parm, 2 tablespoons of vodka.

One person on Twitter had a problem with the teenager using supplies in the house without asking permission. They also had an issue with kids learning how to cook on TikTok. But Stacey wasn’t dealing with any parenting criticism.



It’s believed that Gen Z's recent fascination with penne allá vodka started when Gigi Hadid shared her spicy version of the recipe on Instagram in 2020. Since then, the dish has been called a TikTok “obsession.”

The dish's ubiquity was lampooned on “Saturday Night Live” earlier this year in a sketch, where a “big a**” aluminum platter can be found at just about any significant gathering, whether it's a wedding, bridal shower, or retirement party.

"A big a** aluminum tray of penne alla vodka [is] loved by none, but tolerated by all," Andrew Dismukes says in the sketch accompanied by his bride, Chloe Fineman, who adds, "Because it's not that good, but it's not that bad either."

"It may not stay hot, but it never gets all the way cold,” Keenaan Thompson says, playing a man at his retirement party.

- YouTubeyoutu.be

The story of Stacey and her pasta-loving daughter is a perfect example of a recent significant change in American culture: Young people drink much less than they used to. Stacey, who appears to be an older Millenial or younger Gen X, comes from an era when the majority of teens drank alcohol. However, things have changed.

A report in The Conversation has found that the proportion of 16 to 24-year-olds who drank alcohol “in the last week” fell from 67% in 2002 to 37% in 2021. The change is part of a generational trend where younger people are more risk-averse than older generations. Gen Zers are also less likely to smoke and have sex than previous generations.

If you’re a parent of a teenager in 2204 and your vodka starts going missing, maybe it’s time to check and see if your stash of penne is on the decline as well because your kid is probably more likely to be a secret chef than a drinker.

From Your Site Articles
teens
Culture

Guy starts singing a Sam Cooke song at the barbershop and blows everyone away

With 7 million views on TikTok alone, Shawn Louisiana's incredible viral video is a must-see.

Shawn Louisiana/YouTube

Sometimes a person opens their mouth to sing, and magic happens. It's hard to pinpoint exactly what qualities make a voice transcend the average and transfix an audience, but we know it when we hear it.

Enter Shawn Louisiana.

A video of him singing in a barbershop has gone viral and it's definitely worth a watch. He wrote on YouTube, "The older guy didn't think I could pull off a Sam Cooke song," but when he started singing "A Change is Gonna Come," he definitely proved that he could. Really well. Like, whoa.

Watch:

The older guy didn't think I could pull off a Sam Cooke song #achangegonnacomewww.youtube.com

There's a reason that video has gotten nearly 7 million views on TikTok alone.

Louisiana frequently shares videos of himself just singing casually for the camera, and I don't understand why this man's talent is not more well known yet.

I mean, just listen to this "Stand By Me" cover. Like butter. Sing me to sleep, sir.

Stand By Me - Ben E. King cover #tiktokwww.youtube.com

His Instagram account says he's available to book for weddings. That's nice, but someone please get this man a record deal so we can listen to him croon all day.

For more from Shawn Louisiana, follow him on TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube.


This article originally appeared on 9.1.21

From Your Site Articles
culture

People swoon over nerdy married couple describing each other's PhD thesis at Cambridge

The viral video is incredibly romantic, in the most unexpected way.

Photo by Melanie Rosillo Galvan on Unsplash

Nerd love is the best.

When we picture words like "romantic" or "sexy," we don't often conjure up an image of two PhD candidates discussing their theses. But one University of Cambridge couple is turning that notion right on its head with an unlikely demonstration of pure love that has people gushing.

Get ready for the sweetest nerdy love display

Harum Mukhayer and Will Deacon met and got married while pursuing their PhDs at Cambridge, and the university shared a video of them explaining one another's thesis in their respective fields on Instagram. Mukhayer is an International Law PhD graduate at the university's Pembroke College, while Deacon got his PhD in Physics at Sidney Sussex College, and their theses topics could not be more drastically different.

However, their interdisciplinary love is on full display as they each attempt to sum up one another's research. Watch:

The way she was able to put his complex physics thesis into layman's terms and how he accurately described her transboundary research, each while the other looked on admiringly, was a clear display of love and respect. The video was meant to be an announcement from the university that applications for postgraduate degree programs were being accepted, but all people saw was an adorably nerdy love story.

Check out the comments:

"This was one of the most beautiful expressions of love I’ve seen. The way they see each other, hear each other, support and look at each other was so moving."

"See how he's not intimidated?! Very invested. Very intrigued. Very proud. 🥰"

"Does the PhD program at Cambridge come with a partner?"

"This couples therapist LOVES how this couple has clearly been listening to what their partners' research entails and shows respect and pride over it. Congratulations you two. ❤️"

"I’m all for the world class research and facilities etc, but i just want to check does the PhD program at Cambridge come with a partner—like is it an all inclusive package or…? 😂😂😂"

"Oh! To be seen, really seen."


via GIPHY

People loved the couple's "intellectual chemistry"

"Move over Meet Cutes, Meet Smarts has entered the building! The way he looked at her and melted when she named and explained his thesis! Urgh so cute!"

"This kind of mutual respect, support and admiration… the dream 😍"

"Obsessed with this love! What an advert for intellectual chemistry and compatibility 😍😍😍🙏🏾"

"You can see how he fell even MORE in love with her at this moment. This was so sweet."

"Not me smiling sheepishly at my screen.☺️☺️
Love this. Love ALL of it.
Nerdy, intellectual love is the absolute best. I imagine they’d always have lots and lots to talk (and think) about. 🩵☺️💛"


via GIPHY

People are serious about this nerdy brand of love being ideal. Most of us want our partner to take an interest in our passions, at least enough to understand them a bit, even if we don't share them deeply. Add in the intellectual curiosity to actually learn about something outside of your own field and the admiration for one another's academic accomplishments, and it's a match made in higher education heaven.

Though we often see romance portrayed physically or sexually, love can be revealed in all kinds of ways, even intellectually. But couples don't have to be PhD candidates to demonstrate this kind of love and respect for one another. Admiring one another's hard work or passionate hobbies, regardless of what they are, shows love in less-standard but certainly not-less-important way than other displays of affection.

Three cheers for this couple showing how sweet and sexy it can be to love someone's mind as much as their body and soul.

love
Community

Woman is inundated with kindness as she supports her husband's coming out journey

"I'm confused, I'm sad but I'm also happy."

Photo credit: Canva

Woman supporting gay husband receives outpouring of kindness

Nothing prepares you for every scenario life has to offer. There's no giant book titled "in case this happens" to guide you through all of life's unpredictable, knock-the-wind-out-of-your-lungs, earth-shattering moments. So we all do the best that we can and hope for the best or at the very least hope for forgiveness if we mess it up.

Some people seem to have a fairytale life with an adoring spouse, 2.5 kids and a dog but even those seemingly perfect couples are not immune from life pulling to rug from beneath them. Jasmine Collins is one of those young moms that seemed to be living the American dream. At 28, she is a stay at home mom to two children under the age of two, married to her high school sweetheart.

The two have been together for over 12 years, but recently her husband shared that he was gay. This revelation would send many people into a spiral that could result in hurtful words and anger. Collins' deep love for her husband is causing her to take a completely different approach.

The young mom took to social media at the encouragement of her husband to share their story. Collins didn't know anyone who had been through this life altering situation and was hoping to find support as well as let others know that they aren't alone. She uploaded a tearful video to social media that shows he sleeping baby on her chest while she shares the news.

"I know that a lot of people have been messaging me asking what's going on, why I'm moving out, and it's because I just found out that my husband and the man that I've been with since high school, for 12 years. We have two kids together and he just let me know that he's gay and he's been gay. He's been trying to fake it but he just can't anymore," Collins shares through tears.

people gathering near building during daytime Photo by Hannah Voggenhuber on Unsplash

That's enough to knock anyone off kilter and though the mom is hurting, she is also supporting her husband's desire to live his truth.

Collins admits to feeling confused as she soaks in the shocking information, saying, "I'm feeling so many things. I'm confused, I'm angry. I'm sad but I'm also happy. I'm happy that he can finally live his life and he doesn't have to hide himself anymore."

@itsjasminecollins Starting over ar 28. From a SAHM to a divorced single mom of two under two. #husband #wife #divorce #startingover ♬ original sound - itsjasminecollins

People may wonder why someone who is gay would marry someone who is straight but the truth is, there are many reasons that this may occur. The concept of marrying someone with a different sexual orientation as you is referred to as a "mixed orientation marriage." This can happen if a bisexual or pansexual person marries someone who is straight or gay. It doesn't matter if both partners in the relationship are of the same sex because one partner doesn't identify as gay.

Mixed orientation marriages can also happen if one person is gay and marries a straight person. Entering into a marriage like this knowingly is referred to as a "Lavender Marriage." But not everyone realizes they're in a relationship like this which can lead to heartbreak down the road. The most common reasons someone would hide their homosexuality to enter into a straight presenting relationship is due to societal standards, internalized homophobia and the desire to have a family.

There's no way to determine if Collins' husband knew in high school that he was gay and assumed his orientation would change by marrying a woman or if he himself discovered it after getting married. Only he would be able to answer that question but it seems right now the pair are most focused on how to move forward in the most supportive way.

The mom of two is receiving an outpouring of kindness and encouragement as she navigates this difficult chapter in her life. Some women are angry for her while others share their stories or simply encourage her to keep showing up.

"Girl you don't have to be supportive or understanding. You have to take care of your mental health and your kids first. Prioritize yourself first," one person writes.

"Girl find a support group. I can't imagine the confusion and betrayal. Your happiness for him shows what kind of woman you are. Take care mama," another encourages.

" That must be so hard. And you still finding it in your heart to be happy shows you truly have a great heart and genuinely love him. Keep your head up," someone else says.

"I'm sorry he waited so long to tell you and give you false hope. You're going to make it through this and find someone who can love you and all of you," a commenter shares.

difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations desk decor Photo by Nik on Unsplash

The encouraging and supportive words continued to pour into the comments hoping to add a little bit of light in the dark storm this mom is facing. Someone offers, "ohh mama, I'm sorry you have to deal with this. You're such a good person for being supportive, but you're also grieving the future you once had in mind and a person who was with you for so long."

From Your Site Articles
supporting husband coming out
Trending Stories