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One photographer gave women who feel silenced the chance to be heard.

Beautiful things happen when we listen to each other.

The 2016 election inspired a cultural movement. But not everyone feels represented.

#Resistance has been trending. People are protesting for what they believe is right: women's rights, refugee rights, immigrants' rights. An America that lives up to its ideals.

The Women’s March brought out record numbers of people across the country who were angry and desperate for change. But as inspirational as those marches were, many communities still feel like their voices aren’t being heard.


‌"The world needs active global citizens who stand together in unity and solidarity. This is not the time to become complacent. This is the time to finally embrace each other regardless of color, race, gender, religious preferences and even personal choices."‌ — Afrodita. All images via Alanna Airitam, used with permission.

Alanna Airitam, a San Diego-based photographer, reached out to women who feel silenced.

“Although I was inspired to see how many people came together for the protests after the inauguration, I was equally discouraged to see that once again, it was the white majority whose voices were the loudest,” Alanna writeson her website. “If we are really trying to move towards inclusive, progressive change, shouldn’t we not only hear from, but understand the needs of the people who so rarely get to be heard?”

Alanna Airitam.

She wanted to know how other women from marginalized communities felt. She wanted to put her own feelings into context. So she created "Being Heard: Between the Margins," a photo essay series documenting a variety of perspectives.

“What it ended up being was sort of, for me, a lesson in listening to people. Allowing people to speak, to be heard, to be seen, without any judgment,” Alanna says.

"Why am I the only disabled person in the room when I go to an Indivisible Meeting? Is it apathy or is it fear? It’s not that our voices aren’t being heard. We need to show up first to do the shouting. We’re not showing up. We need to show up." — Bhavna

I'm a black woman in an America that frequently pretends everything is OK and hate, oppression, and inequality are things of the past. The election unearthed a lot of feelings for me.

I signed up to be a part of the project. I went into her studio. I told my side of the story. And I heard hers.

We sat in a room together for over two hours, and it felt like a therapy session.

I shared my concerns that the resistance movement is nothing more than a trend. So many people want to tell their kids that they stood on the right side of history, but how does that translate into their daily interactions? What are they doing after they vent their frustration on Facebook?

She stressed that small moments of human connection are being lost as we move through this world with our eyes on our devices, not seeing each other.

As we spoke, I forgot about her camera. I got to be in the moment, learning with her. It was cathartic. I walked away feeling more whole.

"Some of us have lived with this reality our entire lives. There is no going home and taking our skin off. There is no escape, no option to step away." — Me

What started as a quest to hear and be heard yielded a surprising conclusion.

“We really are all struggling with the same thing. We’re all struggling to fit in somewhere, to be accepted. We’re all looking for that belonging,” Alanna says.

Setting differences aside and listening to each others' experiences is the only way to begin to heal as a community and move forward.

"To be fully heard and received ... ah, what a gift that would be! I can count on one hand how many times I have felt listened to and validated while discussing the subject of skin color." — Ana

After participating in the photo series, meeting the many women who were a part of it, hearing their stories, and sharing my own, I truly believe the path forward begins with empowering communities to share their truth and taking the time to listen. Because their voices deserve to be heard.

Mel Robbins making a TED Talk.

Towards the end of The Beatles’ illustrious but brief career, Paul McCartney wrote “Let it Be,” a song about finding peace by letting events take their natural course. It was a sentiment that seemed to mirror the feeling of resignation the band had with its imminent demise.

The bittersweet song has had an appeal that has lasted generations, and that may be because it reflects an essential psychological concept: the locus of control. “It’s about understanding where our influence ends and accepting that some things are beyond our control,” Jennifer Chappell Marsh, a marriage and family therapist, told The Huffington Post. “We can’t control others, so instead, we should focus on our own actions and responses.”

This idea of giving up control (or the illusion of it) when it does us no good was perfectly distilled into two words that everyone can understand: "Let Them." This is officially known as the “Let Them” theory. Podcast host, author, motivational speaker and former lawyer Mel Robbins explained this theory perfectly in a vial Instagram video posted in May 2023.

“I just heard about this thing called the ‘Let Them Theory,’ I freaking love this,” Robbins starts the video.

“If your friends are not inviting you out to brunch this weekend, let them. If the person that you're really attracted to is not interested in a commitment, let them. If your kids do not want to get up and go to that thing with you this week, let them.” Robbins says in the clip. “So much time and energy is wasted on forcing other people to match our expectations.”

“If they’re not showing up how you want them to show up, do not try to force them to change; let them be themselves because they are revealing who they are to you. Just let them – and then you get to choose what you do next,” she continued.

The phrase is a great one to keep in your mental health tool kit because it’s a reminder that, for the most part, we can’t control other people. And if we can, is it worth wasting the emotional energy? Especially when we can allow people to behave as they wish and then we can react to them however we choose?

@melrobbins

Stop wasting energy on trying to get other people to meet YOUR expectations. Instead, try using the “Let Them Theory.” 💥 Listen now on the #melrobbinspodcast!! “The “Let Them Theory”: A Life Changing Mindset Hack That 15 Million People Can’t Stop Talking About” 🔗 in bio #melrobbins #letthemtheory #letgo #lettinggo #podcast #podcastepisode

How you respond to their behavior can significantly impact how they treat you in the future.

It’s also incredibly freeing to relieve yourself of the responsibility of changing people or feeling responsible for their actions. As the old Polish proverb goes, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.”

“Yes! It’s much like a concept propelled by the book ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k.’ Save your energy and set your boundaries accordingly. It’s realizing that we only have “control” over ourselves and it’s so freeing,” one viewer wrote.

“Let It Be” brought Paul McCartney solace as he dealt with losing his band in a very public breakup. The same state of mind can help all of us, whether it’s dealing with parents living in the past, friends who change and you don’t feel like you know them anymore, or someone who cuts you off in traffic because they’re in a huge rush to go who knows where.

The moment someone gets on your nerves and you feel a jolt of anxiety run up your back, take a big breath and say, “Let them.”

let them theory, let it be, paul mccartney, the beatles, exhalethe beatles wave GIFGiphy

This article originally appeared last year.

Humor

People share the 'fully unhinged' things they've used ChatGPT for and the results are wild

"These comments made me realize I’m not using chatgpt to its full potential."

People share 'fully unhinged' things they've used ChatGPT for

ChatGPT and other AI search engines can be a game changer for some people by doing time consuming menial tasks in a matter of seconds. Need meal prep ideas on a budget, all you have to do is tell ChatGPT how much money you want to spend and foods to avoid and it'll write out meals you can prepare for the whole week. Want to see what your cat would look like as a person, run it through AI, but apparently some people aren't just using ChatGPT for silly pictures or grocery lists.

People have started using ChatGPT for things that seem well beyond the intended purpose of the AI program. Clare Watson recently asked, "tell me the most insane thing you've used ChatGPT for. I'm not talking about 'write my resume' or 'dinner ideas' I'm talking fully unhinged." Well, she asked, people answered and I don't think anyone was prepared for some of the responses she received. Maybe we've all been using ChatGPT wrong.

ChatGPT; Gemini AI; AI programs; is AI safe; using AI; AI questionsA group of people sitting around a laptop computer Photo by Mushvig Niftaliyev on Unsplash

There are things ranging from getting someone out of jail to leaving an abusive relationship. One person was able to have ChatGPT connect her symptoms which led to an accurate diagnosis. But one that was amusingly shocking was this professor that says, "I got sick of my college students using ChatGPT to write their essays, so I used ChatGPT to grade them."

Another person reveals they used the program against itself, "I forgot to unsub yearly ChatGPT plus. ChatGPT wrote a letter to ChatGPT for a Refund. I got it back haha."

ChatGPT; Gemini AI; AI programs; is AI safe; using AI; AI questionsCustomer Service Manager GIF by Ryn DeanGiphy

The AI program once helped upgrade a crush to a relationship, "Told it every single detail of every interaction i had with my crush so we could analyze if he liked me or not. When we started dating chatgpt was so excited for me."

Playing with new technology can be fun but humans will always push the limits to see what it can do. Sometimes the limit pushing is for something noble and other times it's to try to get away with doing as little work as possible, like this student, "I got in trouble for using ChatGPT on my essay, and my teacher made me re do it. I asked ChatGPT to write me an essay with 0 ai detection. I got 97% on my “new” essay. teacher never knew."

ChatGPT; Gemini AI; AI programs; is AI safe; using AI; AI questionsF Failing GIF by FX NetworksGiphy

You know, maybe bringing back those blue writing books with #2 pencils isn't a bad idea. Think of all of the improved handwriting and comfort in knowing your students really did absorb the information you spent weeks teaching. On the flip side of using ChatGPT to write an essay for you, someone made it write an essay against itself, "Asked chatgpt to write an essay on 'How gpt ruins education and why it should be banned.'"

Some things ChatGPT helped with are much more serious than others showing the versatility of the AI program with one person writing, "Chat GPT helped me leave an abusive marriage. Crafted a safety plan. Helped me come up with a budget. Encouraged and motivated me. Answered every what if I had," though seeking support from a domestic violence shelter in situations of abuse is still advised.

@clareewatson I need to know the fully unhinged chat moments #storytime #chat #chatgpt #fyp #story #unhinged ♬ original sound - NYES | Fashion

One person shares, "I let chat gpt destroy all my legal arguments by asking him/her/it to be opposing counsel 😂 That way I’m prepared and able to strengthen my arguments in advance."

Another admits, "My brother had to go to jail. Chat gpt found a loop Hole in the law… my brother is Free now," while another got a suggestion to answer her medical mystery. "All the doctors told me there was nothing wrong with me. Wrote down my symptoms and Chatgpt told me it could be MCAS. Found a doctor specialized in that disease. Chatgpt was right," the woman writes.

While some admit they find themselves relying on ChatGPT too much, others simply find it as a source of entertainment and treat it as such. One person used it to create a drama filled Love Island episode using her favorite cast members from different seasons. In the end, ChatGPT has the last word, "Did a rap battle with ChatGPT. I criticized it's ability to draw hands and said I might as well use Google. It reminded me it'll be around way longer than me."

A woman holding back her laughter.

One of the biggest topics in parenting these days is the mental and physical drain that comes with being the default parent in a family. The default parent is the one who is first in line when it comes to taking responsibility for parenting duties, whether that means making doctor’s appointments, ensuring the homework is done, or making sure the child has enough socks to make it through the week.

Being the default parent can lead to fatigue and burnout, and the parent can experience incredible anxiety when their attention turns away from the household or family. The situation is even worse when the default parent’s partner only does the bare minimum. Unfortunately, in American society, fathers are often the parents who do just enough to get by and are praised for it.

The notion that men don’t have to pull their equal weight in American family life is so ingrained that when Emma Hughes, a travel nanny with over one year of experience in childcare and family support, visited Sweden for two weeks, she experienced extreme culture shock.


"I've been in Sweden now and I think I've been ruined for American men," the 24-year-old said in a viral Instagram video. "Specifically raising a child with an American man in America, because these Scandinavian dads? Chef's kiss …"

"I'm actually embarrassed to talk about this because all of the observations that I've made have really revealed to me how deeply ingrained [expletive] dads have become like in my brain, and it's just like the default,” she continued.

The notion that fathers only have to do the bare minimum was so ingrained in Hughes’ psyche that she couldn’t understand seeing so many involved fathers in Sweden.

sweden, swedish dad, swedish fathers, soccer, swedish childA dad playing soccer with his child.via Canva/Photos

"When I see more dads pushing their strollers in the park on a Saturday morning than moms, what does my brain think … That's weird, there is something abnormal about that,” Hughes said. “When I see dads at the grocery store with their kids. When I see dads out at restaurants or in public. It is so deeply telling of a lot of subconscious stuff that I have going on in my brain after working with so many families."

She said that even the best dads she's worked with in America would be considered the "Scandinavian bare minimum." She applauded one Swedish father who purchased a new size of diapers for his baby without being told to do so by his partner.

swedes, swedish couple, scandanavia, swedish flag, happy swedesA couple holding up the Swedish flag.via Canva/Photos

"Like I watched a Swedish dad go to the grocery store and come home with like four bags of groceries and in that trip he had bought size two diapers for a baby that had previously been wearing size one and was ready to move into size two but that conversation had not happened between the mom and the dad,” she said.

Given Swedish dads' dedication towards their parenting responsibilities, it’s fair to assume that their partners are much happier and stress-free than those in the States. But what about their kids? Researchers at the United Nations who studied “child well-being in rich countries” found that Swedish fathers also ranked high by their children. The survey asked children in 28 countries if it was easy to talk to their dads, and while 67% of children in the study said their parents were easy to talk to, Swedish fathers scored higher at 72.4%. Meanwhile, the U.S ranked 25, out of 28, at just 59.7%.

sweden, swedish dad, swedish fathers, swedish child, dad reading note, A Swedish dad reading a note. via Canva/Photos

Ultimately, Hughes makes an important point that Scandinavian men have set a high bar for being fathers and that American men need to step up. The positive sign is that in America, the discussion around default parenting has been getting louder and louder, and hopefully, that will prompt more American men and women to set higher expectations so that one day, American men can catch Sweden’s.

A woman holding a "time for change" sign.

A trend appears when looking at the generational battles over the past decade. Millennials (1981 to 1996) are trying to create a more equitable world and repair the damage done by the generations before them. However, they have an uphill battle because baby boomers (1946 to 1965) still hold power in many aspects of American life.

Millennials grew up in an era impacted by 9-11, the Great Recession, the COVID-19 pandemic, and the cultural awakening that happened after the George Floyd murder. It’s wrong to paint an entire generation with the same brush. Still, millennials have favored progressive politics with a strong interest in helping to reverse the effects of climate change and fighting for equality. Culturally, millennials have preferred authenticity, whether it's the hipster movement or their love for craft beer, farmhouse decor, and all things chuegy.

@marilyn_mckenna

Baby boomers need to pass the baton of leadership to Millennials. Do you agree? #boomers #millennials #millennialsoftiktok #fourthturning #generationtheory #genx #genz

What type of generation are the millennials?

Marilyn McKenna, 62, an intentional aging expert, says all of this makes sense given their generational trajectory. In a video with over 300,000 views, she says that, according to Neil Howe's 1997 book The Fourth Turning, millennials are considered a hero generation. In Turning, the authors postulate that every 80 to 100 years, there is an archetypal generational cycle in the order of prophets, nomads, heroes, and artists. Therefore, millennials are heroes whose job is to rescue America from a crisis that shakes it to its core.

“Hero generations come of age as community-based young adults during a Fourth Turning Crisis,” Alden Guzman writes. “If the outer world crisis is handled well, the hero generation is active participants in the building and championing of new values and institutions to face the crisis at hand.”

climate protest, milennials, climate, hero generation, enviornmentalismA climate change protest. via Linh Do/Flickr

McKenna believes millennials have a significant job ahead of them, but there’s one big problem: it isn’t the task at hand; it’s baby boomers. "Whether in politics, media, corporate leadership, or the economy, boomers still occupy the majority of decision-making roles," McKenna said. "Many are reluctant to make space for new voices—not just millennials, but also Gen X and Gen Z. There's an unwillingness to acknowledge that the world has changed, and that old solutions aren't working."

Unfortunately, she believes that millennials are “screwed” because the boomers won't concede their power. She adds that boomers could play an essential role in changing society if they finally decided to step down. "It doesn't mean disappearing—it means mentoring, stepping back from dominance, and actively helping to prepare and elevate the next generation of leadership. But, too often, boomers have mistaken staying relevant for staying in control," McKenna continued.

milennials, occupy wall street, protest, march, anti-capitalismA group of people marh in the streets.via John Smith/Flickr

McKenna says that the problems we face today stem from a crisis in agency because those who want to help are being stifled. "The historical patterns may be interesting and instructive, but they don't soften the day-to-day experience of living through a crisis. People are burned out, isolated, and losing faith in institutions,” she told Newsweek. “It's hard to know how to motivate people when they feel they have no real agency, and that's where I think we're stuck."

History (Education)

A historic plantation went up in flames, but people's reactions to it are the real story

The Nottoway Plantation had been turned into a luxury event space that glossed over its history of enslavement.

Bogdan Oporowski/Wikimedia Commons

The 53,000 square foot Nottoway mansion before it burned down in May of 2025.

For generations, the way Southern plantations have been portrayed and viewed by the American public has been a point of contention. For some, the sprawling grounds and grandiose mansions are viewed romantically, the beauty of them hearkening to wealthy aspirations and a nostalgic allure of Southern charm a la "Gone With the Wind." For others, plantations are a painful reminder of the plight of the Black Americans who worked the grounds and tended the crops of white plantation owners who enriched themselves off the backs of enslaved people trapped in a heinous system enforced by racism.

It's easy to see how those two perspectives can clash. And the tension between them was placed front and center on May 15, 2025, as the Nottoway Resort, the largest remaining antebellum plantation in the U.S., went up in flames. The 64-room mansion was built between 1857 and 1859 for its wealthy owner John Hampden Randolph, who enslaved 150+ people to work his sugar cane farm. As news and images of the blaze went viral, reactions were starkly divided. While some lamented the loss, others cheered with cries of "Good riddance!" and "Burn, baby, burn!"

The fact that Nottaway was marketed as a "resort" and a popular event venue, as opposed to a museum dedicated to sharing the full history of the plantation, is a big impetus behind the celebratory sentiment. Some plantations have been converted into purely educational facilities in which visitors learn how those beautiful places were built and maintained by slaves, but Nottoway wasn't one of them.

Historian and lecturer on the history of slavery Dr. Andrea Livesey visited Nottoway in 2019 and was horrified by how the slavery history was glossed over.

The plantation does have a museum, Livesey shared, which only included one board about slavery. "It tells visitors that 'various records indicate they were treated well for the time," she wrote, adding that those records likely all came from the enslavers.

Even the Nottoway website is thoroughly lacking in historical information. As of the day of the fire, the History section of the website shares details about the 16 historic oak trees on the property. That's it. (There's literally nothing else about the property's history, which is an odd choice.)

But it's the drastically different reactions to the mansion's destruction that mark this moment in time more than anything else. Over 150 years after slavery was officially abolished, we are still grappling with that history, intellectually and viscerally. In some cases, we learned drastically different versions of that part of our history, which of course doesn't help. But even if we're looking at the same exact historical record in its accurate entirety, we see that history through different lenses colored by our individual and familial histories, experiences, and biases.

What shouldn't be hard to see is the pain that enslavement caused generation after generation of Black families and how plantations being relished in for their architectural beauty while ignoring how and why they were built and the atrocities that took place on them could feel like a slap in the face. Even the elementary knowledge of the history of slavery in American ought to make that clear.

But many Americans have been conditioned to downplay the history of slavery, as if it wasn't the long atrocity that it was. Is holding a wedding or a party at a plantation markedly different than throwing a picnic at Auschwitz because the train station makes a beautiful backdrop? Some would argue it's not.

And yet, some people are sad to see the mansion burn, lamenting the loss of its magnificent architectural grandeur. Instead of "Yes, it's beautiful, but the slavery part ruins it," some see it as, "Yes, slavery was terrible, but it's still a beautiful building." Whether those are equally valid perspectives or not, those different lenses is where much of the debate over slavery-era historical places and monuments lies.

Marketing a plantation as a luxury event space while ignoring its oppressive history feels wrong. But does watching it burn to the ground feel right? For some, it definitely does, which begs some questions: What role do visceral feelings have in the debate over what to do with places and things that were created via and for the perpetuation of slavery? What role does white supremacy still play in who gets to make those decisions? Is it possible to turn a plantation into a place where everyone feels like their ancestral history is being honored? These and other questions need serious consideration and discussion as America continues to reckon with its own history.

One plantation that has been turned into an educational monument seems to have struck a reasonable balance. Less than an hour's drive from Nottoway, the Whitney Plantation is a non-profit museum "dedicated to truth-telling about America's past." It does not shy away from its history, but rather invites visitors to dive in. Like Nottoway, Whitney was primarily a sugar plantation, which made it all the more tragic for the enslaved people forced to work there. Sugar was a particularly brutal crop. The life expectancy for slaves on sugar cane farms was dramatically lower than those on cotton plantations—around 7 years—and being sold to Louisiana for sugar production was often considered a death sentence.

Knowing that full history, it's hard to see a plantation used as a resort and event venue and it's understandable that people might revel in its demise. Would there be the same kind of sentiment if Whitney burned? Probably not, or at least not to the degree that Nottoway's destruction has seen. Perhaps now's a prime time to discuss the respectful, appropriate ways to handle historic places with problematic histories, to let the ashes of the past fertilize our collective future.