One photographer gave women who feel silenced the chance to be heard.
Beautiful things happen when we listen to each other.
The 2016 election inspired a cultural movement. But not everyone feels represented.
#Resistance has been trending. People are protesting for what they believe is right: women's rights, refugee rights, immigrants' rights. An America that lives up to its ideals.
The Women’s March brought out record numbers of people across the country who were angry and desperate for change. But as inspirational as those marches were, many communities still feel like their voices aren’t being heard.
"The world needs active global citizens who stand together in unity and solidarity. This is not the time to become complacent. This is the time to finally embrace each other regardless of color, race, gender, religious preferences and even personal choices." — Afrodita. All images via Alanna Airitam, used with permission.
Alanna Airitam, a San Diego-based photographer, reached out to women who feel silenced.
“Although I was inspired to see how many people came together for the protests after the inauguration, I was equally discouraged to see that once again, it was the white majority whose voices were the loudest,” Alanna writes on her website. “If we are really trying to move towards inclusive, progressive change, shouldn’t we not only hear from, but understand the needs of the people who so rarely get to be heard?”
Alanna Airitam.
She wanted to know how other women from marginalized communities felt. She wanted to put her own feelings into context. So she created "Being Heard: Between the Margins," a photo essay series documenting a variety of perspectives.
“What it ended up being was sort of, for me, a lesson in listening to people. Allowing people to speak, to be heard, to be seen, without any judgment,” Alanna says.
"Why am I the only disabled person in the room when I go to an Indivisible Meeting? Is it apathy or is it fear? It’s not that our voices aren’t being heard. We need to show up first to do the shouting. We’re not showing up. We need to show up." — Bhavna
I'm a black woman in an America that frequently pretends everything is OK and hate, oppression, and inequality are things of the past. The election unearthed a lot of feelings for me.
I signed up to be a part of the project. I went into her studio. I told my side of the story. And I heard hers.
We sat in a room together for over two hours, and it felt like a therapy session.
I shared my concerns that the resistance movement is nothing more than a trend. So many people want to tell their kids that they stood on the right side of history, but how does that translate into their daily interactions? What are they doing after they vent their frustration on Facebook?
She stressed that small moments of human connection are being lost as we move through this world with our eyes on our devices, not seeing each other.
As we spoke, I forgot about her camera. I got to be in the moment, learning with her. It was cathartic. I walked away feeling more whole.
"Some of us have lived with this reality our entire lives. There is no going home and taking our skin off. There is no escape, no option to step away." — Me
What started as a quest to hear and be heard yielded a surprising conclusion.
“We really are all struggling with the same thing. We’re all struggling to fit in somewhere, to be accepted. We’re all looking for that belonging,” Alanna says.
Setting differences aside and listening to each others' experiences is the only way to begin to heal as a community and move forward.
"To be fully heard and received ... ah, what a gift that would be! I can count on one hand how many times I have felt listened to and validated while discussing the subject of skin color." — Ana
After participating in the photo series, meeting the many women who were a part of it, hearing their stories, and sharing my own, I truly believe the path forward begins with empowering communities to share their truth and taking the time to listen. Because their voices deserve to be heard.
Overwhelmed with emotion.
Stressed at the desk, seeking a moment of calm.
Storytime circle with kids and teachers in the classroom.
Anchors aweigh! 
Case in point, not case and point. 
I've been through the desert on a horse with free rein.
Buzz Off Get Away GIF 
"Toe the line" literally means put your toe on the line.
Lena Dunham as Hannah GIF by Girls 
A scene from the film Reality Bites. 
Carol Anne gets in touch with ghosts in the movie Poltergeist. 
Kurt Cobain, the patron saint of Gen X. 
Communications expert shares the 7-word phrase to shoot down anyone being disrespectful
Try this method next time someone says something rude.
A woman can't believe what she just heard.
Getting caught off guard by a rude comment from a coworker, family member, or total stranger can throw you for a loop. You immediately start wondering how you should respond. Should I insult the person right back or play it cool without stooping to their level? Everyone is going to be thrown by a disrespectful comment at some point, so it’s good to have a response in your back pocket for that moment when it comes.
Communications expert Jefferson Fisher provided a great response that we can all use recently on the Mel Robbins Podcast. Fisher is a Texas board-certified personal injury attorney and one of the most respected voices on argumentation and communication in the world. He is also the bestselling author of The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More.
How to respond to a rude or disrespectful comment
Fisher told Robbins that the first step in responding to the comment is nonverbal. You say nothing. “A lot of silence. So often, if you just wait 10 seconds that you're gonna add distance between what they said and how you're going to respond,” Fisher said. “They're saying this to get something out of you, cause in that moment, they're feeling something, whether it's a fear or an insecurity, whatever it is, you're not going to deliver on that same plane that they are.”
The next step is to let the rude person know that their behavior will not be tolerated in a confident manner.
“So somebody says something disrespectful, you give enough silence to make sure that it's a little awkward, and then you're going to say something to the effect of, ‘That's below my standard for a response.’ All of a sudden, you're now making it clear that what you just said was beneath me. And I don't respond to things that are beneath me in that way.”
Throw it back on them
If you prefer to put someone back on their heels instead of squelching the situation as Fisher recommends, John Bowe, a speech trainer, award-winning journalist, and author of I Have Something to Say: Mastering the Art of Public Speaking in the Age of DisconnectionI Have Something to Say: Mastering the Art of Public Speaking in the Age of Disconnection, says that you should respond with a question: “Do you really mean that?”
“Say it with outrage or dripping sarcasm, with raised eyebrows or deadpan calm. It doesn’t matter. This phrase is quietly disarming and deceptively powerful,” Bowe writes for CNBC. Bowe says the response does two great things for you. First, it gives them a chance to reconsider their words because most rude comments are said without thinking. “By responding with curiosity instead of defensiveness, you’re holding up a mirror. Often, that’s all it takes for the other person to walk back their offense,” he writes.
After the person is asked if they meant what they said, they can double down on their rude comment, but they are probably more likely to backpedal or apologize.
Unfortunately, it’s a fact of life that, unless you live under a rock, you’ll have to deal with people making rude comments. But the best thing you can do is to prepare yourself to confidently put someone in their place so they’ll think twice about ever being rude to you again.