Mom tells younger women how to know if the man they're dating will be an equal parenting partner
There will be signs, you just have to know what they are.
Mom explains how to know if partner will be an equal parent
When people get married and plan to have children, they expect that they will be in a partnership where their partner takes on equal parts of the parenting role. This doesn't just include changing diapers and cooking meals. Parenting is much more than a few actions, it's sharing the mental load and showing up without needing to be asked because you see what needs to be done.
A young woman still in the dating world put a call out to older women to ask how to know they're picking someone who will be an equal parenting partner. Cheryl Neufville shared the moment that let her know that her now husband would make a good father, she encourages others to look for the sings.
While dating some of these signs may be easily overlooked if you don't know what you're looking for. Neufville's example shows just how subtle the signs can be.
The experienced mom explained that before she and her husband started dating they were visiting a friend that had given birth to her fifth child. While visiting the baby was being fussy and having trouble calming for the friend, so the future husband stepped in instinctively taking the baby to help it calm. He even took the baby outside to get some fresh air giving the stressed new mom a break.
"I think about that quite often in regards to what I saw before we were dating. Where he didn't have to wait to be told what to do, he just kind of took charge and helped that woman out with her baby and I just knew that he would be the same way towards our children," Neufville reveals.
Commenters agreed, one person saying, "No, for real a man will definitely show signs of being a good dad before becoming a father. And it will be in the simplest of ways, we just gotta pay attention."
"I think men who are good fathers stick out. Like I don't know how to explain it, but the signs are there! I knew my husband was going to be a good father," another says.
Someone else chimes in, "yes!!! I knew my husband beforehand and he was always helpful to his friends and I KNEW who he was. Watch how they treat others."
Neufville shares a couple of beautiful stories that may help people looking for an equal parenting partner that spills into the comments with a plethora of more experienced women chiming in.
You can check out the entire video below:
@heyy..cheryl @Justine’s Camera Roll 📸✨ ♬ original sound - Cheryl Neufville
Beaver in water. Photo by 
An actual beaver dam on the now-thriving Price River
Not just coworkers—family, friends, strangers, kids…
Imagine having to go so badly but being out of euros. 
Anything hobbit-esque can't be wrong. 
But what if you need pain meds AND mascara?!
Imagine how this would affect childcare.
Honestly…where's the lie?
A brown buddha statue sits near a green mountain. Photo by 
Urgent dash to the bathroom! 🚪🏃♂️
Ladybug unexpectedly found during colonoscopyPhoto credit: 
Close-up of bottom of ladybug found in colonPhoto credit: 
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."