Historically speaking, sex, drugs, and alcohol have been humanityโs go-to dopamine spiking refuges, a short-lived opportunity to feel pure, unadulterated pleasure, in spite of Mother Nature deciding it plays second fiddle to survival and procreation. However, we know these pleasure sources often arenโt as pure as they seem inherently, since they can lead to addiction.
And yet, judging from the truly wholesome answers to this Reddit question:
โWhat's the purest joy you've ever felt without intimacy, substances, or alcohol?โ
โฆwe are offered the reminder that maybe joy isnโt so elusive after all. And in fact, it comes to us, in the simplest of ways. Which can be a bit of a relief for those of us still convinced that happiness lies just on the other side of that goal post.
Below are some of our favorite answers. Youโll definitely notice a few major themes, but hopefully the biggest takeaway of all will be the reminder that in many ways, happiness is waiting to be felt by us. And maybe feeling a bit happier is only one hug, laugh, or sunset away. .
The wonders of nature
A person basking in nature. Photo credit: Canva
โSeeing the sea for the first time.โ
โFor me, it was watching a sunrise on a quiet morningโjust the colors, the stillness, and knowing the world was waking up. Pure, simple joy.โ
โWhen I first saw a desert, it was honestly depressing. But then night fell and I saw the bands of the milky way galaxy.โ
โI had never seen fireflies in real life but got to see them when my daughter was five. I wish I had a picture of my daughterโs face when we had one flashing and crawling up my shirtโฆWe got to experience it together for the first time. If my memory starts to fade I hope that one is last to go!โ
โWhen I was 24โฆI had just gone through a lot of BSโฆand was dealing with severe abandonment issues. I was casually seeing a guy and a friend of ours was moving to Washington and needed a ride. So we offered. Very long story short, shit hit the fan. We ended up penniless with nowhere to goโฆand randomly stumbled on this alpaca homestead that also provided campingโฆwe spent the next few weeks working for them during the dayโฆI mainly worked on the lawnโฆweeding this plot of land in front of their big log cabin.Every day I worked on the land and just thought about all the things that used to torment meโฆI eventually became grateful for every single thing that happened in my life, I was grateful for the good and bad. I just felt complete peace and acceptance. I was content for the first time in my life.
Things started randomly coming togetherโฆEvery single thing we needed was provided in the most insane waysโฆBefore, it was impossible to be alone with my own thoughts. AfterโฆI knew that there was something bigger than meโฆI knew beyond any doubt that true gratefulness connected me with itโฆI don't think that would have happened if I wasn't so immersed in nature, either. It was like the physical and spiritual connected to allow me to find myself. I swear I'm not a hippy ๐ I just think that radical love for yourself and radical gratefulness leads to some very incredible places that you can't reach otherwise.โ
โI was snorkeling alone in a bay off a small Greek island. Suddenly there was a huge shoal of sardines all around me. There must have been thousands of them. I kept taking huge breaths and swimming underwater amongst them for as long as I could hold my breath. It was incredible, like a dream. Almost as if I was flying with a flock of birds. I swam with them as long as I could until they headed for deeper water.โ
Second chances
Two people hugging.Photo credit: Canva
โWhen my parents were on the verge of separation I was very sad for a whole week and I was just trying to process how our lives are going to change forever. One evening my mom, my sis and I were talking about this whole mess and at the exact moment my father opened the door and there was awkward silence because mom and dad weren't talking at all. Suddenly everyone laughed at the awkwardness of the situation and that's when it hit me that โthis is probably the last time we are laughing as a family of 4โฆโWhile laughing I burst into tears because I felt pure joy and peace I was missing for the past week and that day I understood the value of having a loving family. Luckily my parents didn't separate and things are better now.โ
โRiding a horse again after being wheelchair-bound for five months.โ
Being able to afford all your needsโฆbecause money does buy some happiness
โLast night, I went to Target, bought only what I needed, came home to my one bedroom apartment, changed into comfy clothes, lit a candle, and opened the window to a complete downpouring thunderstormโฆI sat on the couch, watched a romance movie, ate dinner, my cat crawled her way into my arms and just purred next to my ear while I held her. I vacuumed, folded my laundry, put it away. Brushed my teeth and got into bed, and realized that not only do I have my own apartment to myself, I could still smell the aroma of dinner around and it smelled like HOME. After all the years of shitty roommates and being broke and working two jobs, I make enough to afford my own apartmentโฆand have enough time to spend time enjoying it. I almost cried for joy.โ
โI was in an accident and got a decent settlement when I was youngerโฆFor a couple years I was able to buy everything I needed, a lot of stuff I wanted, and spend money on my friends. Genuinely those years were the happiest Iโve ever been.โ
Residual joy from someone elseโs win
โIโm a software developer. During COVID, a close friend of mine got laid off from his job at a catering company.โฆI offered for him to live with me and my family during the pandemic rent-free and teach him how to code.For the following year and a half, I worked closely with him every single weekday; helping him through tutorials, projects, bugs, frustration, and moments of exasperationโฆAfter living with us for a year and a half and applying to over 600 jobs in the last 6 months, he finally got an offer as a software engineer, not only paying more than he ever made at a restaurant, but also with full benefits so he could get dental work doneโฆgetting this job meant that he was essentially set for lifeโฆThe day I came home after he got the offer, we just laughed and cried and bro-hugged forever. It was one of the proudest moments of my life and Iโll never forget that feeling of truly lifting someone else up in a way that affects the rest of their life. This month marks his 3rd year into his engineering career and he is still killing it.โ
โHearing my wife was cured of cancer. Those words will forever be engraved in my memory and associated with pure joyโ
โWatching my little boy ring the bell last week after beating cancer โค๏ธโ
Kindness from strangersโฆespecially in times of struggles
Two kids enjoying a milkshake. Photo credit: Canva
โMe and my brother were dirt poor, but we saved up enough money for a McFlurry. We were at the McDonalds door counting up our coins to make sure we had enough. I went in, payed for the McFlurry with exact change, the person at the register saw my brother waiting outside by the door, she handed me two. It felt like Christmas.โ
Being the recipient of unconditional love
โThe day my niece, who had just learned to talk, saw me walk in the door and screamed my name before running up to hug me. Zero agenda, zero conditions.. just pure joy from someone happy I existed.โ
โBeing with someone I truly could be myself with. It lasted for only a few months, but I can't remember anything that comes close since.โ
โI would have to say the private last dance at my wife and Iโs weddingโฆWe had a whole song just to ourselves and the emotions of the day overwhelmed me. I didnโt cry at the first look, but I cried then. I may have been a bit buzzed but the happiness I felt was profound.โ
Earning the love of an animal
A sweet doggo. Photo credit: Canva
โThe day my rescue dog laid her head on me to fall asleep after 2 years of work to help herโ
โThat feeling when a rescue finally trusts you is just unreal. My most recent cat hid under the bed for a few days and one night just randomly decided to come onto the bed and plop down right between my husband and I. I could've cried.โ
โI had a rescue parrotโฆYou could not look at him without him visibly tremblingโฆAnd yet, I could see he wanted so badly to love and trustโฆI will never forget the first time I offered him my head, since he looked like he wanted to touch it, and he very roughly preened my hairโฆOnce that particular threshold was crossed, he was the most love hungry member of our flockโฆYou could not give him enough lovingโฆIโll always be grateful to have known and helped you, my dear Smudge.โ
โI recently went back to Italy after being gone. The people that I thought would come to see me didnโt, and I was feeling a bit unwelcome. I went to my favorite bar/cafe/restaurantโฆAfter I sat down for about 5 minutes the barโs cat was frantically meowing at me and trotting over to greet me. She remembered me :) I was so happy and the beginning of my stay was a lot better because I was feeling a bit alone and forgotten.โ
Engaging the senses
โFresh cool sheets on my bed with the windows open in the fall for a mid-day nap!โ
โPlaying live music. Being emotionally connected to a room full of people is an amazing feeling. And of course everyone likes being clapped at.โ
And last, but certainly not leastโseeing the world
Someone seeing the world. Photo credit: Canva
โTraveling. The pure excitement of being in a new country, taking everything in and seeing what kind of adventure unfolds. Especially true for my first solo trip 10 years ago when I had wanted to travel forever and finally did, despite people telling me not to.โ
May we all find one simple thing to bring us pure joy just like this today.
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