Racists ‘Zoom-bombed’ Rep. Jahana Hayes’ event but her response showed exactly how to defeat them

Jahana Hayes serves in Congress as the Representative of a district in northwest Connecticut. As part of her re-election campaign this year, she is hosting a series of virtual conversations throughout her district over Zoom so she can listen to the cares and concerns of the people she serves. What she didn’t expect to listen…

Array
Photo credit: Jahana Hayes/TwitterArray

Jahana Hayes serves in Congress as the Representative of a district in northwest Connecticut. As part of her re-election campaign this year, she is hosting a series of virtual conversations throughout her district over Zoom so she can listen to the cares and concerns of the people she serves.

What she didn’t expect to listen to in one of those conversations was six minutes of racist bile directed at her.

First it was a voice, about 10 minutes into the meeting, saying “Shut up, N-word.” After Hayes’ team blocked that person, another came in with a clip of a song using the n-word on repeat. Again, her team removed the offending party. Then two more chimed in—clearly a coordinated effort.

Hayes kept it together during the racist attacks, smiling and apologizing to the people in the call and waiting patiently while her team took care of the trolls. She had just a handful of minutes between calls to check in with her team members and prepare for the next conversation, and she did. But that didn’t mean she was okay. In fact, she shared a post on Medium in which she made it clear that she was not okay.


“I am tired, completely and utterly tired,” she wrote. “No, actually I’m exhausted. This is something that a leader is not supposed to say; but it’s whatever.”

After explaining what happened, she wrote, “To wrap up my evening, I call my staffer, who was moderating the event, to see if she is ok—I call the only other Black person on the zoom to check in on her and be sure she is ok—I call my Communications Director to instruct him to report the incident. I cannot even reflect on what just happened because I have to be sure my team is ok. I sign out of my computer, but not before I post a screenshot of a section of the zoom chat which read ‘SHUT UP N-word GO PICK YOUR COTTON,’ repeated in all caps over and over—fully appreciating the fact that cries of ‘identity politics’ are sure to commence.”

She went on to explain how all of this feels:

“Many will question why I would post something so raw and offensive? It is because I realized in that moment that I am not ok. I am not ok that this happened. I am not ok, that this is not the first time this has happened in my life or that I’ve had to explain that this happens. I am not ok, that I have to post a screenshot to prove it happened. I am not ok, that people will still doubt that it happened or the word of the forty or so participants on the call will be a necessary to ‘verify’ the incident happened. I am not ok, that I will have to delicately explain to people that this happens—here. I am not ok, that many will try and separate/defend these words and actions and will not see that these comments are not about policy or politics—they are about racism and hate and challenge our decency. I am not ok! I said it—I admit it, I am not ok.

Black women are expected to press on, to ignore this behavior; to not talk explicitly about it because it is uncomfortable, divisive or does not reflect the sentiments of most people. I have watched other women weather this storm and fend off these types of attacks and wonder if in their quiet places they have felt what I am feeling right now. We have become numb to this behavior, instinct kicks in and we just move on. So many well intentioned people say things like, ignore it, you’re better than that or don’t let it bother you. Even as I write, I am exhausted by the fact that I am carefully choosing my words, as to capture the experience, but not offend the reader. We are left debating zoom security, yet not addressing the underlying issue—that pockets of racism and hate still exist right in our own front yard. The most painful part of it all is that no matter what you achieve in life, no matter how many degrees you earn or how good of a person you try to be—all some people will ever allow themselves to see is a N-word.

Has anyone ever considered the trauma of such an experience? Words matter and they cut deep, no matter how hard you try to suppress or ignore them—words hurt. In that moment I was reminded that I carry the weight of leading by example and knowing that everyone was watching my next step. As the first African American woman ever elected to Congress from CT, I know there is likely no blueprint for how to communicate my feelings on this topic to my constituents. I heard the words of Michelle Obama ‘when they go low we go high’ play over and over in my head. I imagined if my Grandma were here she would shake her head and immediately start to pray as she recalled some of the most painful parts of her own history. I thought of the 17 year old who is met with the same racist, vitriol attacks and has to make the life defining decision of how they will respond. So NO—I am not ok.

It does not mean that I am broken, or that I will give up. It does not mean that I do not love my country or recognize that one person does not speak for the majority. It means that, tonight I will practice some self care. I will read a book, take a bath and maybe have a good cry and tomorrow I will steady myself and get back to work.”

There are people in this country who think that successful Black Americans don’t experience racism, as if achievement in their careers or a certain level of economic comfort somehow hides the color of their skin. There are people in this country who brush off blatant racist incidents as an outlier—a rare occurrence that should just be ignored and that will just miraculously go away on its own.

But as Hayes points out, that’s not the way this works.

Check in on your Black friends, I can assure you that there are many who are not ok in this current climate. Stop saying that this doesn’t happen here or dismissing it as anecdotal. Have an honest conversation about what we are all experiencing. Listen, don’t project, don’t make judgements, just listen. While understanding my pain may be a journey for some, a refusal to acknowledge it is a non starter for anyone who seeks to heal our nation. The only way we can cut the cancer of racism out of our communities is by calling it out when we see it and raising our collective voices to get rid of it. In the words of Edmund Burke, ‘the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil, is for good people to do nothing.’ Let’s all commit to doing something and being ok together.”

Yes, let’s all commit to doing something to destroy this cancer once and for all.

  • A failed ‘nugget’ experiment explains why you’ll never find onion rings at McDonald’s
    Photo credit: Wiki.comA vintage ad for McDonald's Onion Nuggets.
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    A failed ‘nugget’ experiment explains why you’ll never find onion rings at McDonald’s

    But it did lead to the invention of one of the most popular fast-food items ever.

    Onion rings are a staple fast-food item. Yet you’re unlikely to find them at McDonald’s, one of the most recognizable fast-food chains in the world.

    However, once upon a time, Mickey D’s did experiment with its own version of the side item, and it’s easy to see why the idea was short-lived.

    It was the 1970s, and by then, allegedly thanks to a Texas-based drive-in restaurant called The Pig Stand, onion rings were already a popular fast-food item. However, McDonald’s’ entire brand is centered around efficiency and profit, and compared to fries, onion rings would have been more time-consuming to make and less cost-effective.

    Enter: Onion Nuggets 

    mcdonalds, food, history
    Photo credit: Wiki.comA vintage ad for McDonald's Onion Nuggets.

    According to Mental Floss, the rather baffling idea came from Rene Arend, McDonald’s first executive chef, who would later develop the somewhat controversial McRib. And get this: they actually predate chicken nuggets.

    Rather than cutting onions into thin rings, food workers would batter and deep-fry onion bits. However, it soon became clear that customers, especially children, didn’t enjoy this particular vegetable-to-batter ratio. You can almost picture the confusion at the counter: someone opens the box expecting a familiar crispy ring and instead finds a pile of tiny fried onion clusters. Technically accurate, sure. Emotionally satisfying? Eh, that’s another story.

    By 1984, they were discontinued. Alas.

    @mcdonalds

    should Mike tell us about McPizza next? #mcnuggets #mcdonalds

    ♬ original sound – McDonald’s

    How Onion Nuggets brought us Chicken McNuggets

    But Arend was then instructed to apply the concept to a chicken-based product, and voilà—the Chicken McNugget was born, and we were never the same. So you could say onion nuggets walked so chicken nuggets could run!

    Interestingly, McDonald’s could take Burger King’s approach, which essentially makes “rings” out of minced onions. According to Tasting Table, “The goal isn’t to recreate the diner-style onion ring, but to offer a salty, crunchy side that’s cheap, uniform, and easy to churn out by the millions.” However, some have criticized this recipe as more like “tiny onion flavored doughnuts.” Honestly, not seeing the problem there.

    There have been far worse mess-ups

    And when you think about McDonald’s’ long history of bizarre menu failures, including the 1960s Hula Burger (a pineapple slice with cheese), McSpaghetti, and Seinfeld-inspired Muffin Toppers, deep-fried onion bits don’t sound too strange. Some folks are even nostalgic about it and would love to see its glorious return. While the odds are never zero, they are quite low. 

    That’s not to say the restaurant won’t ever sell proper onion rings. But Mike Haracz, a former McDonald’s manager of culinary innovation, explains in a TikTok video that they would likely only ever be a “limited-time offer” so as not to compete with their “over-the-top profitable” French fries.

    If you’re jonesing for some McDonald’s onion rings, they’re occasionally served in places outside the United States, such as Turkey, Greece, Israel, and even Australia. Just as Haracz predicted, they’re limited-time items.

    We can probably all agree that if any menu item deserves a comeback, it’s the Apple Fritter.

  • Watch dancers with ‘insane core strength’ appear to float in mid-air for iconic AGT audition
    Photo credit: America’s Got Talent/YouTubeSofia Vergara's jaw dropping while watching dance audition

    “America’s Got Talent” auditions have given us all manner of dance performances, from expressive individuals to impressive group numbers that got the judges praising and the audience roaring. But AIRFOOTWORKS’ gravity-defying, core-busting dance routine, performed in 2024, is one that will surely go down as one of the greatest dance performances in AGT history.

    As the music began, no one knew what the apparatus made of poles and bars surrounding the dancers was for. But it soon became apparent that they would use it to lift themselves off the ground. What started with a simple pull-up, however, turned into an incredible synchronized dance to Justin Bieber’s “Where Are U Now” in which the dancers synchronized their movements without their feet even touching the ground.

    AIRFOOTWORKS dancing to Justin Bieber on AGT 

    The dancers, who hail from Japan, were mentored by Kenichi Ebina, who won AGT Season 8 in 2013. Their performance earned them a standing ovation from all four judges and the audience.

    “Everything about the performance was perfect,” said judge Sofia Vergara.

    “It was so creative and so different—and so difficult, by the way,” said judge Simon Cowell. “So you have a great mentor. However, even if you’ve got a great mentor, you’ve still got to be able to do what your mentor helps you to do. And you did it immaculately.”

    AGT fans agree with the judges 

    People in the comments were equally blown away.

    “How do people find out they have talents like this??? ✋ “

    “My toxic trait is thinking I can do this without any difficulty .”

    “Insane core strength.”

    “OBSESSED with this audition.”

    “What kind of core strength is this… flawless,

    Many people were disappointed that none of the judges hit the Golden Buzzer.

    “Why no Golden Buzzer?!?!?! If I’ve seen any act more deserving of it, I can’t recall. These guys were AWESOME!!!!!!!”

    Did they run out of golden buzzers? This is worthy.”

    “THEY DESERVED THE GOLDEN BUZZER!”

    “This performance absolutely deserved a golden buzzer. It was just spectacular.”

    “Can only assume all the judges were so enthralled and mesmerized by this performance they forgot there was a golden buzzer.”

    The ‘Golden’ performance

    AIRFOOTWORKS did, in fact, earn a Golden Buzzer from Howie Mandel during the Quarterfinals sending them directly to the finale, where the group performed to an EDM mix by Steve Aoki. While they didn’t receive enough votes to win the entire competition, they have certainly earned AGT royalty status.

    Since their AGT run, AIRFOOTWORKS have continued to take the world stage – reaching the finals of talent competitions in France and Italy, and performing at the Royal Variety Performance in the UK.

    For more talent auditions, you can follow America’s Got Talent on YouTube and TikTok.

    This article originally appeared 2 years ago. It has been updated.

  • Gen X woman describes what Halloween was like in the 80s with perfect accuracy
    Photo credit: ~ tOkKa/Flickr, CanvaHalloween costumes in the 80s were terrifyingly terrible.

    Halloween has come a long way since the 70s and 80s, when Gen X kids donned the worst mass-produced costumes known to man to go out and ask strangers for candy that we were sure was laced with poison or razor blades. Those sure were good times, though, weren’t they? Social media creator Kelly Manno shared a video describing what Halloween was like for kids who grew up in “the forgotten generation,” and holy moly is it accurate.

    First, Manno showed a photo of someone dressed in an “80s costume” for Halloween, with neon colors, legwarmers and big hair, and said, “Absolutely nobody looked like that in the 80s, especially on Halloween. We looked like this.”

    Then she showed a grainy photo of kids in the plastic masks and poorly printed costumes that were the hallmark of the age.

    “Every single member of Gen X can smell this photo,” she said. “It’s like a vinyl, like plasticky paint smell.”

    Manno explained that our parents only took a few photos of us per year, and Halloween was always one of them.

    “You knew, before you went out trick-or-treating, that you had to line up with your cousins in front of the fireplace, in your highly flammable costumes, with your mom chain-smoking Virginia Slims.”

    How about those masks

    Oh, those masks were the worst inventions ever. The eyeholes never lined up properly, so you were constantly trying to adjust them to be able to see even a little bit.

    “We would push our tongue through the slit in the mask. It would cut our tongue, but then we’d keep doing it again because we were eaten up with OCD and ADD and nobody cared.”

    Then Manno described the “garbage bag costumes” we had, which were basically trash bags printed with whatever character it was supposed to be. So janky. So sweaty. So crinkly when we walked. But somehow still socially preferable to your mom making your costume from scratch.

    “Look at us, we were terrifying,” Manno concludes. “No wonder people tried to poison us.”

    A stroll down ‘That actually happened’ lane 

    Her descriptions of what it felt like to trick-or-treat in those costumes and haul our own bodyweight in candy are spot on, and people who lived it are feeling the nostalgia.

    “So much truth in one video! I just saw, heard, and smelled my childhood.”

    “You are literally making me laugh so damn hard, cause you described it exactly as it was, but my mom smoked Winston’s!”

    “It was always freezing on Halloween that the vinyl/plastic suit would crack and tear halfway through the night.”

    “Or the rubber band breaking at the second house and you had to hold it up on your face at the door the rest of the night. Good times.”

    “The tongue thing is on point. I can still feel it. “

    “I can totally smell that picture lol. I remember the steam from inside the mask would have your lashes and eyebrows covered in dew then after a couple streets of running house to house the crotch would tear out. We would stay out until everybody turned their lights off and the pillow case was full.”

    “Yes!!!! And we used a pillow case for our candy. And no adult supervision.”

    “My mom made me really nice homemade costumes, but I remember begging for the plastic Strawberry Shortcake garbage bag one. So, she bought it for me one year. That was a terrible, sweaty experience. “

    “Let’s not forget having to inspect every piece of candy for razor blades. I swear I lost half my haul to my father in that clean up. “

    Kids these days have no idea, with their official city trick-or-treat hours and their parents walking around with them and their costumes that actually look like the thing they’re trying to be. The 70s and 80s were a wild time, and as funny as it is to reminisce about those Halloweens of old, most of us would agree that the experience has been much improved for our own kids.

    Pillowcases still make the best trick-or-treat bags, though. Some things do not change.

    This article originally appeared 2 years ago. It has been updated.

  • People swear these Gen X and Millennial names are ‘due for a resurgence’
    Photo credit: Canva1970s-styled dance moves. A woman sits next to her boom box.

    If you’re a Gen X-er or a Millennial, ask yourself how many Jennifers did you grow up with? How about Brians? Stephanies, maybe? It seems like it might be time for those baby names favored in the ’70s and early ’80s to make a comeback.

    After all, like most things in the world, the popularity of names is cyclical. Once something reaches its height of popularity, the pendulum swings back into another era. But if given enough time, all pendulums will pop right back with force, and everything Gen X will be “now” again.

    The 100 year rule

    In a recent article for The Every Mom, Senior Editor Kathy Sisson mentions the “100 year rule for baby names.” The theory goes that names re-circulate every century, and perhaps that’s now why there seems to be a resurgence of “vintage” names from the 1920s. (Think Hazel, Arthur and Evelyn.) She adds this fun fact: “Some expectant parents even wander cemeteries looking for vintage baby name inspiration on the headstones.”

    But some experts claim that people are most definitely not waiting a century to bring back popular names. In a 2025 piece for Good Housekeeping, Senior Parenting and Relationship Editor Marisa Lascala specifically compiled a list of “19 vintage 1970s baby girl names that are becoming popular again.”

    At the top of that list were “Angie, Deborah, Jamie, Leslie and Bonnie.” According to Lascala, “Gen X was born in a period of great change, and the baby names of the era were no exception.” Perhaps it’s the modern times we’re living in that are accelerating a need to go back to an era that felt more manageable. (This is all subjective and relative, of course.)

    @namingbebe

    Calling all Jennifers Michelles & Melissas #babynames #girlnames #1970s

    ♬ original sound – Colleen

    Time for a comeback

    This seems to be quite the popular topic. On the subreddit r/namenerds, someone posted a thread entitled “’Dated’ names you think are due for a resurgence.” They expound, “A lot of vintage names are quite popular these days – eg. Henry, Theodore, Josephine. But what about names that aren’t quite old enough to be cool again that you think are due for a resurgence?

    I’m thinking names around Gen X and Millennial eras, where the vast majority of people with these names are going to be between 30 and 60. Names too recently popular to be vintage, while old enough to be considered dated… some eventually will come around back into being stylish.

    Do you have any bets on what presently unpopular “dated” names will be popular again soon enough?”

    The OP adds that they simply love the name Todd, for example. “Controversial opinion, I really love the name Todd even though a lot of folks think it’s a boring white guy/dad name. I think it has all the makings of a popular name and I’m placing my bets it will come back in style soon. I’m also really fond of the name Heather.”

    Feeling nostalgic

    Over a thousand people chimed in on this post to share the names that resonated for them back in the day. Names frequently mentioned on the thread included “Emily, Lisa, Laura, Nicole, and Erin” for girls. For boys, “Brian, Ryan, Evan, Justin, Jeremy and Eric” came up time and again.

    Of the extremely popular name Lisa, one commenter shared that in some way, it fits with current trends, at least in the UK. “Lisa fits in with current UK trends (soft, short, L + S + ee sound), but it’s pinnacle Gen X/Millennial, so won’t make a comeback for a while. I hope it does make a resurgence one day though! I’d like Cynthia to come back now that people are likely to associate it with Erivo.”

    Some even recall well-loved ’70s/’80s names, but add a modern spin. “Vanessa, but call her Nessa.”

    And, a few point out that some older names that seem to have disappeared for one culture are still going strong in others. Take, for example, the name Camille. This Redditor shares, “Camila is crazy popular with Latino families and Latino-adjacent families, so this wouldn’t surprise me.”

    And of course, as people re-watch classic movies from the 1980s, certain names will reappear in the zeitgeist. So for better or for worse, we’ve probably got quite a few “Heathers” on the way. (And/or perhaps maybe a “Veronica.”)

  • 9 reasons the Artemis II space mission keeps bringing people to tears
    Photo credit: NASAChristina Koch looking out the window at Earth
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    9 reasons the Artemis II space mission keeps bringing people to tears

    Some of it is the time we’re living in. Some of it is remembering who we are.

    Since the Orion spacecraft launched, sending the four astronauts of the Artemis II mission around the Moon, people have been grabbing tissues left and right. This particular space mission has evoked profound emotions in us collectively, but why? What is it that has us feeling it all so deeply?

    I’m not a psychologist or a sociologist; I’m just a human joining my fellow humans in the cryfest. But that human identity sits at the heart of the why question, so here are nine reasons I’ve observed that people are getting emotional over Artemis II.

    Photo, moon, surface, earth, space
    “A Setting Earth” taken on the Artemis II mission. (Photo credit: NASA)

    We desperately need something good and wholesome right now

    Let’s just acknowledge this one upfront. In too many ways, the world has felt like a horror circus in recent years, and many people have lost a bit of faith in humanity. We need some solid reminders that we’re actually okay, and Artemis II is full of them.

    Apollo and Artemis unite our past with our future

    The name Artemis holds poetic significance. In Ancient Greek mythology, Artemis was Apollo’s twin sister as well as the goddess of the moon, the hunt, wild places, and childbirth. The original lunar missions being named Apollo and the modern missions being named Artemis is a beautiful hat-tip to that ancient history, as well as a nod to this mission carrying the first woman to circle the moon.

    The Artemis II mission feels like a bridge between our past and our future.

    “The pairing of Apollo and Artemis is more than poetic,” writes Samantha Mathewson for Space.com. “In mythology, the twins balance day and night, or sun and moon. In spaceflight, Apollo represents what humanity has already accomplished, while Artemis represents what comes next.”

    It reminds us of how far we’ve come, both literally and figuratively

    Like others before them, the astronauts of Artemis II took some legacy keepsake items into space. Among them is a one-inch square piece of fabric from the Wright Flyer, the plane the Wright brothers used in their first successful flight in 1903.

    The significance of that tiny piece of fabric can’t be overstated. To fly through the air above Earth’s surface was a major milestone in human history. Did the Wright brothers imagine us going this far from Earth when they had just figured out how to get us off the ground?

    Innovation and progress require imagination, so they probably did imagine it. Just as the women who worked on the Apollo lunar program probably imagined women becoming astronauts one day.

    Christina Koch becoming the first woman to fly around the Moon isn’t the only sign of progress for women in the Artemis mission, though. Women played critical roles in the Apollo program as well, but they were smaller in number and not really visible to the public. Now we have this:

    It reminds us how small but special we are

    Earth may feel big to us, but in the context of the universe, our planet is infinitesimally tiny. And yet, we are here, eight billion individuals making our home on this little blue marble.

    Pilot Victor Glover delivered an impromptu message on Easter that reminds us of the unique reality of being human on planet Earth:

    You guys are talking to us because we’re in a spaceship really far from Earth. But you’re on a spaceship called Earth that was created to give us a place to live in the universe, in the cosmos.

    Maybe the distance we are from you makes you think what we’re doing is special. But we’re the same distance from you, and I’m trying to tell you—just trust me—you are special. In all of this emptiness—this is a whole bunch of nothing, this thing we call the universe—you have this oasis, this beautiful place that we get to exist together.

    Shifts the perspective a bit, doesn’t it?

    The naming of the Moon crater ‘Carroll’ hit us right in the heart

    If someone were to cry over just one part of this mission, it would likely be this moment when the astronauts asked Mission Control to name a Moon crater after Commander Reid Wiseman’s late wife, Carroll, who died of cancer in 2020:

    Crater Carroll. A bright spot on the Moon that her kids can look up to and see Mom. What an incredible tribute.

    Historic space missions are big deals. These astronauts represent all of humanity as we collectively breach new frontiers. And yet, it’s the personal relationships, our individual loved ones, the bonds of family and friendship that make us what and who we are as humans. This moment just beautifully highlighted the human in humanity, forever linking the personal with the universal.

    It’s healing something in Gen X kids who watched the Challenger disaster live

    There have been many space shuttle launches since 1986, but few have seen the widespread excitement and attention that Artemis II has received leading up to it. Perhaps that’s why so many Gen Xers who remember watching the Challenger explode as children were nervous to watch the launch and held our breath until the astronauts were safely out of the atmosphere.

    It may sound like an overstatement to call it PTSD, but watching a school teacher and astronauts we’d all been following on TV for months blow up on a live broadcast had an impact on our psyches. The shock and horror of it all, with none of the adults prepared to handle it, left a mark.

    Seeing a hyped launch become a successful launch and watching all the heartwarming footage from the shuttle feels healing in some way.

    It taps our sense of awe

    Being amazed by something outside ourselves is one of the best parts of being human. (It also happens to be incredibly good for our mental health.)

    Awe comes in many forms. At the launch of Artemis II, we saw it in the childlike excitement of BBC Science Editor Rebecca Morelle as she witnessed the shuttle take off firsthand.

    @bbcnews

    Nasa’s first crewed mission around the Moon in more than 50 years has taken off from Florida. #Nasa #Artemis #Rocket #Space #Moon #ArtemisII #USNews #BBCNews

    ♬ original sound – BBC News – BBC News

    But awe is often quiet and introspective. The photos we’ve seen from the astronauts on board the Orion have provided a view that we rarely get to see. Only when courageous humans launch themselves into space and look out a window do we get to see our world and our Moon this way.

    Taking a few moments to sit in awe of space and our place in it can be an emotional experience. Awe-inspired existential tears are good tears.

    It reminds us of what we’re capable of

    Humanity has always had its ups and downs, and they often happen at the same time. But science advancements, when done for the greater good and collective progress, are some of our biggest ups. This mission is a reminder of what we can do when we work together on innovating and creating instead of conquering and destroying.

    It reminds us we are one

    “This is an opportunity to remember where we are, who we are, and that we are the same thing,” Victor Glover said in his Easter message. “And that we got to get through this together.”

    We really are the same thing. Looking at Earth from space, there are no neatly drawn lines. There are no borders, no nations, nothing actually dividing us but rivers, oceans, and mountains.

    Of course, we are complex people with diverse cultures, languages, and identities. But seeing Earth from afar makes these differences seem far less significant. Certainly, they don’t seem worth killing one another over.

    Do you ever wonder how future history books will treat this time period we’re living in? What will they teach and what will they leave out? How will they analyze us? How will we be remembered?

    Will they know how we collectively wept over the naming of a Moon crater? Or will that detail—the one that defines us more than any war or conflict ever could—be omitted?

    I hope the beauty and humanity we’ve witnessed in this mission are remembered in the story of who we were, because it really is the best of who we are.

  • Netherland-based dance troupe performs epic routine to “Somebody That I Used to Know”
    Photo credit: Sergio Reis/YoutubeThe costumes, the choreo, the camera work…just, wow.

    Odds are you’ve heard Wally de Backer, aka Gotye, and his song “Somebody That I Used to Know.” It’s the Australian musician’s biggest commercial hit, selling more than 20 million copies since its release in 2011, making it one of the best-selling digital singles of all time. Not to mention it inspired several amazing covers, which you might have also stumbled upon.

    The music video, in its poignant simplicity, is every bit as iconic. Gotye stands naked facing the camera, as featured singer Kimbra faces him. As they sing, they are slowly “painted” into and out of the background of geometric shapes using stop motion animation. There’s a very Wes Anderson feel to it that adds so much to the story told in the song, making it all the more memorable.

    This dance troupe was up to the task

     All this to say…it would be a challenge to recreate the magic that’s so inherent in the original. And yet, Netherland-based dance troupe CDK clearly understood the assignment with their highly stylized movement performance set to the well-known art pop ballad.

    As thousands of viewers were quick to note, it’s not just the incredible dance moves that made this performance so captivating. It’s the killer combination of choreography, camerawork and costumes that make the piece impossible to turn away from.

    “This is pure art,” one person wrote. While another added, “I think I’m going to watch it everyday for the rest of my life.”

    Watch CDK’s Stunning Performance Here

    This group is clearly at the top of their game, simply by how easy they make it all look (like, I’ve already convinced myself that I can pull off those moves). But what’s more evident is that they enjoy what they’re doing to the nth degree. Over on their Instagram page, you’ll find equally mesmerizing routines set to Billie Eilish, Nicki Minaj, and more.

     

    Some fun facts about the song and its legacy

    1: Gotye allows small independent projects, like student films—and probably this dance piece—to use his music free of charge. “If someone wants to use it commercially I look at what the budget is and the creativity of the project,” he said, according to News.com.

    2: CDK isn’t the only group to have recently breathed new life into the song. Also in 2024, an electronic remix of the song titled “Somebody (2024),” created by electronic music producers Chris Lake, Fisher, and Sante Sansone, debuted. Much like its predecessor, “Somebody (2024) topped the charts.

    This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

  • Marriage counselor uses viral ‘Love on the Spectrum’ moment to explain triggers in relationships
    Photo credit: @expedition_marriage/InstagramMadison Marilla and Tyler White on Love on the Spectrum.

    During an episode from the latest season of Love on the Spectrum, Netflix’s heartwarming, critically acclaimed reality series that follows autistic individuals navigating the complexities of relationships, two fan favorites—Madison Marilla and her now fiancée, Tyler White—shared a moment that many couples face regardless of neurodivergence: emotional triggers. 

    As the two approached their date location, a fan can be heard saying, “Maddie! I love you!” This visibly affected Marilla, who explained that her autism causes “black and white thinking.” So hearing a nickname, like “Maddie,” causes her to feel “anxious and thrown off.” In fact, she noted it’s one of her “biggest sensitivities.” 

    In an Instagram post, marriage counselors Chris & Jamie Bailey break down how the couple’s handling of the situation was a prime example for anyone who witnesses their significant other getting triggered. 

    Chris and Jamie noted that in the clip, White stayed calm, moved towards Madison, validated her feelings without judgment, stayed present in the situation, listened to understand, and then, after Madison was able to express herself, he reassured her that they are a team and that he is there for her.

    And for her part, Madison “chose to process what was happening instead of reacting.” She also reminded herself that “it was going to be ok” and “moved forward” rather than ruminate. 

    All relationships deal with triggers

    While relationships involving autism or other forms of neurodiversity have their own unique set of challenges, Chris and Jamie noted that every couple will at some point face triggers. When that happens, each partner has a “responsibility.” The triggered person is responsible for their emotional regulation, while the non-triggered person is responsible for offering support. Both Tyler and Madison exemplified what can go right when each partner takes on their individual responsibility—especially staying present. 

    “What couples often miss is the simplicity of just remaining with your spouse during a trigger, “ Chris and Jamie added. 

    Judging by the comments, the Baileys were clearly not the only ones who felt Madison and Tyler offered a “masterclass in emotional regulation and communication.”

    “This was incredibly impressive. The way she worked through a trigger, the way he supported her and validated it. Well done everyone. We could all learn from this. ❤️”

    “Responding before reacting is something every single person I’ve ever met has struggled with. I love how hard she’s working to stay aware of her mind, heart and body and how best to keep them regulated in these really difficult situations.

    “This was such an incredible thing to witness. I’m so grateful for Madison’s ability to be vulnerable through this and to allow the world the opportunity to learn from her 😭 I needed this today!

    “These two humans are pure good. They totally get each other and provide such a safe space.”

    “I love that Tyler didn’t even try to hug her or touch her and he let Madison’s nervous system calm down first. Full respect!!”

    Expert-backed methods for dealing with emotional triggers in a relationship

    For your own triggers, awareness is the first step. Many people notice physical cues before anything else. It might be a racing heart, a tight chest, or a sudden urge to withdraw or lash out. Naming what is happening, even silently, can help create space between the feeling and the reaction. Simple grounding techniques, like slowing your breathing, focusing on your senses, or giving yourself permission to pause, can make a meaningful difference. Just as Madison demonstrated, reminding yourself that the moment will pass can help shift your nervous system out of alarm mode.

    When it comes to supporting a partner who is triggered, the goal isn’t to fix the feeling, but to help create safety. That often looks like staying calm, listening without interrupting, and validating what they are experiencing, even if you do not fully understand it. Avoid rushing them, minimizing their reaction, or immediately offering solutions. Instead, gentle reassurance and presence can go much further than advice.

    Of course, this kind of mutual support works best when both people are willing to take ownership of their emotional patterns over time. Conversations outside of triggered moments can help partners learn each other’s sensitivities, boundaries, and preferred ways of being supported. 

    As Madison and Tyler remind us, when both people are willing to meet each other with awareness and care, even the most uncomfortable moments can become opportunities for deeper connection.

  • U.S. women’s rugby player dropped the mic on viewer who mocked her BMI
    Photo credit: @ilonamaher/Instagram“BMI doesn’t tell you what I can do.”

    It seems like at least once a year, the debate over BMI (body mass index) resurfaces. Experts are quick to point out that it’s a flawed system: at best, it ignores key factors that shape a person’s body composition; at worst, it creates real health consequences, influencing eligibility for weight loss medications, insurance rates, joint-replacement surgery and fertility treatment. Then the conversation fades, life moves on and not much changes.

    And yet, despite the constant debunking, the belief in BMI still marches on. This time, it was hurled at the USA rugby star and Olympian Ilona Maher. More specifically, someone commented “I bet that person has a 30% BMI” on one of Maher’s TikTok videos.

    Could this person have simply been pointing out the inherent flaw of BMI and that Maher, an elite athlete, would be considered “overweight” using this system? Perhaps. But this is the internet we’re dealing with, so Maher (and others) interpreted it to be an insult.

    Under that context, Maher wasn’t having it, and chose “not to just ignore the haters.”

    A troll got taken to school about BMI

    “Hi, thank you for this comment. I think you were trying to roast me, but this is actually a fact. I do have a BMI of 30. Well, 29.3 to be exact,” Maher said in response video…which became something of a roast itself.

    Maher talked about how she had been considered “overweight” her entire life, and even recalled being “so embarrassed” to turn in a physical form to the office which had “overweight” written on it.

    “I chatted with my dietitian, because I go off facts, and not just what pops up here. You know, like you do.” she quipped while tapping her temples.

    What the numbers actually tell us

    Maher is 5-ft.-10-in. and 200 lbs, which is considered “overweight” by BMI standards. But as she explained, about 170 of those 200 pounds are “lean muscle mass.”

    “Do that math in your head…you probably can’t,” Maher said sarcastically.

    It’s easy to see through this example how bogus BMI really is, especially for athletes.

    Essentially, “BMI doesn’t tell you what I can do.”

    “It doesn’t tell you what I can do on the field. How fit I am. It’s just a couple of numbers put together,” she said. “It doesn’t tell you how much muscle I have, or anything like that.”

    Maher concluded by faux lamenting, “I do have a BMI of 30. I am considered overweight. But alas, I am going to the Olympics, and you’re not.” Maher went on to win a silver medal at the 2024 Paris Olympics.

    u.s. women's rugby, jill biden, 2024 olympics ilona maher
    The U.S. women’s rugby team with First Lady Jill Biden and members of the U.S. delegation to the 2024 Summer Olympic Games The White House/Public Domain

    Why This Hit Home for So Many People

    While Maher’s clapback was certainly satisfying, it also provided some much needed reassurance to folks. So many commented on how this outdated concept has affected (or still effects) their own body image or that of a loved one.

    How can I get my teenage daughter with a high BMI (but fit!) to understand this?! She feels shamed even at the doctor for her BMI.”

    “Dancer here, I’ll never forget at 13 being told I had the BMI of 24 of ‘overweight.’ I broke down and the nurse said it didn’t mean anything and all I could think was then WHY are you making me do this?!”

    A registered dietitian explains why BMI is so flawed. YouTube

    “I had to ask the doctor’s office to put a note on my child’s file to not bring up/talk about BMI in her check ups. It isn’t an accurate representation of health!”

    “Thank you for sharing your weight, bc seeing lbs numbers in different bodies has been so helpful in me loving mine. I’m nowhere near an athlete’s body but damn, the numbers really do us in.”

    Until a more affordable solution pops up, BMI will continue to rear its ugly head in doctor’s offices and in our psyches. Maybe this is a reminder that our bodies are so much more than height and weight every now and again is a good thing. And if it comes from an Olympian…even better.

    Maher also shut down any notions that her BMI was high due to anything other than muscle with a Sports Illustrated cover shoot in August of 2024. Um, yeah.

    Thin and fit are not the same thing. Thank you, Ilona Maher, for the powerful reminder.

    This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

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