+
Democracy

Racists 'Zoom-bombed' Rep. Jahana Hayes' event but her response showed exactly how to defeat them

Racists 'Zoom-bombed' Rep. Jahana Hayes' event but her response showed exactly how to defeat them

Jahana Hayes serves in Congress as the Representative of a district in northwest Connecticut. As part of her re-election campaign this year, she is hosting a series of virtual conversations throughout her district over Zoom so she can listen to the cares and concerns of the people she serves.

What she didn't expect to listen to in one of those conversations was six minutes of racist bile directed at her.

First it was a voice, about 10 minutes into the meeting, saying "Shut up, N-word." After Hayes' team blocked that person, another came in with a clip of a song using the n-word on repeat. Again, her team removed the offending party. Then two more chimed in—clearly a coordinated effort.

Hayes kept it together during the racist attacks, smiling and apologizing to the people in the call and waiting patiently while her team took care of the trolls. She had just a handful of minutes between calls to check in with her team members and prepare for the next conversation, and she did. But that didn't mean she was okay. In fact, she shared a post on Medium in which she made it clear that she was not okay.


"I am tired, completely and utterly tired," she wrote. "No, actually I'm exhausted. This is something that a leader is not supposed to say; but it's whatever."

After explaining what happened, she wrote, "To wrap up my evening, I call my staffer, who was moderating the event, to see if she is ok—I call the only other Black person on the zoom to check in on her and be sure she is ok—I call my Communications Director to instruct him to report the incident. I cannot even reflect on what just happened because I have to be sure my team is ok. I sign out of my computer, but not before I post a screenshot of a section of the zoom chat which read 'SHUT UP N-word GO PICK YOUR COTTON,' repeated in all caps over and over—fully appreciating the fact that cries of 'identity politics' are sure to commence."

She went on to explain how all of this feels:

"Many will question why I would post something so raw and offensive? It is because I realized in that moment that I am not ok. I am not ok that this happened. I am not ok, that this is not the first time this has happened in my life or that I've had to explain that this happens. I am not ok, that I have to post a screenshot to prove it happened. I am not ok, that people will still doubt that it happened or the word of the forty or so participants on the call will be a necessary to 'verify' the incident happened. I am not ok, that I will have to delicately explain to people that this happens—here. I am not ok, that many will try and separate/defend these words and actions and will not see that these comments are not about policy or politics—they are about racism and hate and challenge our decency. I am not ok! I said it—I admit it, I am not ok.

Black women are expected to press on, to ignore this behavior; to not talk explicitly about it because it is uncomfortable, divisive or does not reflect the sentiments of most people. I have watched other women weather this storm and fend off these types of attacks and wonder if in their quiet places they have felt what I am feeling right now. We have become numb to this behavior, instinct kicks in and we just move on. So many well intentioned people say things like, ignore it, you're better than that or don't let it bother you. Even as I write, I am exhausted by the fact that I am carefully choosing my words, as to capture the experience, but not offend the reader. We are left debating zoom security, yet not addressing the underlying issue—that pockets of racism and hate still exist right in our own front yard. The most painful part of it all is that no matter what you achieve in life, no matter how many degrees you earn or how good of a person you try to be—all some people will ever allow themselves to see is a N-word.

Has anyone ever considered the trauma of such an experience? Words matter and they cut deep, no matter how hard you try to suppress or ignore them—words hurt. In that moment I was reminded that I carry the weight of leading by example and knowing that everyone was watching my next step. As the first African American woman ever elected to Congress from CT, I know there is likely no blueprint for how to communicate my feelings on this topic to my constituents. I heard the words of Michelle Obama 'when they go low we go high' play over and over in my head. I imagined if my Grandma were here she would shake her head and immediately start to pray as she recalled some of the most painful parts of her own history. I thought of the 17 year old who is met with the same racist, vitriol attacks and has to make the life defining decision of how they will respond. So NO—I am not ok.

It does not mean that I am broken, or that I will give up. It does not mean that I do not love my country or recognize that one person does not speak for the majority. It means that, tonight I will practice some self care. I will read a book, take a bath and maybe have a good cry and tomorrow I will steady myself and get back to work."

There are people in this country who think that successful Black Americans don't experience racism, as if achievement in their careers or a certain level of economic comfort somehow hides the color of their skin. There are people in this country who brush off blatant racist incidents as an outlier—a rare occurrence that should just be ignored and that will just miraculously go away on its own.

But as Hayes points out, that's not the way this works.

"Check in on your Black friends, I can assure you that there are many who are not ok in this current climate. Stop saying that this doesn't happen here or dismissing it as anecdotal. Have an honest conversation about what we are all experiencing. Listen, don't project, don't make judgements, just listen. While understanding my pain may be a journey for some, a refusal to acknowledge it is a non starter for anyone who seeks to heal our nation. The only way we can cut the cancer of racism out of our communities is by calling it out when we see it and raising our collective voices to get rid of it. In the words of Edmund Burke, 'the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil, is for good people to do nothing.' Let's all commit to doing something and being ok together."

Yes, let's all commit to doing something to destroy this cancer once and for all.

Sponsored

Three women, three MS journeys: How multiple sclerosis looks different for everyone

Gina, Nathalie and Helga share their reactions to being diagnosed with MS and how they stay informed and positive in the face of ever-changing symptoms.

Courtesy of Sanofi

Helga, Nathalie and Gina all have MS, and their experiences show how differently the disease can manifest.

True

It’s been 155 years since neurologist Jean-Martin Charcot gave the first lecture on a mysterious progressive illness he called “multiple sclerosis.” Since then, we’ve learned a lot. We know MS causes the immune system to attack healthy tissue, including damaging the brain and spinal cord. Resulting symptoms can be debilitating and include fatigue, blurred vision, memory problems and weakness. Huge advancements in our understanding of MS and its underlying causes, as well as treatment advances, have been made in the past few decades, but MS remains a complex and unpredictable reality for the 2.8 million+ people diagnosed around the world.

Ironically, the only real constant for people living with MS is change. There’s no set pattern or standard progression of the disease, so each person’s experience is unique. Some people with MS have mild symptoms that worsen slowly but sometimes improve, while others can have severe symptoms that drastically alter their daily lives.

All people with MS share some things in common, however, such as the need to stay informed on the ever-evolving research, find various lines of support and try to remain hopeful as they continue living with the disease.

To better understand what navigating life with MS really looks like, three women shared their MS stories with us. Their journeys demonstrate how MS can look different for different people and interestingly, how the language used to talk about the disease can greatly impact how people understand their realities.

woman with horse, woman riding horseGina loves riding her horse, Benita.Courtesy of Sanofi

Gina—Hamburg, Germany (diagnosed with relapsing multiple sclerosis in 2017)

When her youngest son was 4 months old, Gina started having problems with her eye. She’d soon learn she was experiencing optic neuritis—her first symptom of MS.

“Immediately after the diagnosis, I looked up facts on MS because I didn’t know anything about it,” Gina says. “And as soon as I knew what could really happen with this disease, I actually got scared.”

As her family’s primary income provider, she worried about how MS would impact her ability to work as a writer and editor. Her family was afraid she was going to end up in a wheelchair. However, for now, Gina’s MS is managed well enough that she still works full-time and is able to be active.

“When I tell somebody that I have MS, they often don't believe me the first time because I don't fulfill any stereotypes,” she says.

Overwhelmed by negative perspectives on living with MS, Gina sought support in the online MS community, which she found to be much more positive.

“I think it’s important to use as many positive words as you can when talking about MS.” It’s important to be realistic while also conveying hope, she says. “MS is an insidious disease that can cause many bad symptoms…that can be frightening, and you can't gloss over it, either.”

To give back to the online community that helped her so much, Gina started a blog to share her story and help others trying to learn about their diagnosis.

Though she deals with fatigue and cognitive dysfunction sometimes, Gina stays active swimming, biking, riding horses and playing with her sons, who are now 11 and 6.

Cognitive dysfunction is common in MS, with over half of people affected. It can impact memory, attention, planning, and word-finding. As with many aspects of MS, some people experience mild changes, while others face more challenges.

Gina says that while there’s still a lot of education about MS needed, she feels positive about the future of MS because there’s so much research being done.

woman in wheelchair holding medal, woman rowingNathalie is an award-winning rower with multiple international titles.Courtesy of Sanofi

Nathalie — Pennes Mirabeau, France (diagnosed with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis in 2002)

Nathalie was a teenager and a competitive athlete when she noticed her first symptoms of MS, but it would take four years of “limbo” before she was diagnosed.

“Ultimately, the diagnosis was more of a relief, than a shock,” she says. “Because when you have signs and you don’t know why, it’s worse than knowing, in the end, what you have.”

However, learning more about the disease—and the realities of disease progression—scared her.

“That glimpse of the future was direct and traumatic,” she says. Her neurologist explained that the disease evolves differently for everyone, and her situation might end up being serious or very mild. So, she decided to stop comparing herself to others with MS.

She said to herself, “We’ll see what happens, and you’ll manage it bit by bit.”

By 2005, Nathalie’s MS had progressed to the point of needing a wheelchair. However, that has not dampened her competitive spirit.

Nathalie began her international rowing career in 2009 and has won multiple world titles, including two Paralympic medals—silver in London and bronze in Tokyo. Now, at 42, she still trains 11 times a week. Fatigue can be a problem, and sometimes hard workouts leave her with muscle stiffness and shaking, but she credits her ongoing sports career for helping her feel in tune with her body’s signals.

“Over the years, I’ve learned to listen to my body, letting my body guide when I need to stop and take breaks,” she says.

Nathalie explains that she used to only look backwards because of the initial shock of her diagnosis. In time, she stopped thinking about what she couldn’t do anymore and focused on her future. She now lives in the following mindset: “Even when doors close, don’t miss out on those that open.” Instead of focusing on what she can’t do, she focuses on the opportunities she still has. Right now, this includes her training for the 2024 Paralympic Games in Paris, where she will compete for another rowing medal.

“I only go forward,” she says. “Well, I try, anyway…It’s easy to say, it’s not always easy to do. But that’s what I try to do.”

woman exiting water after swimming, woman with great daneHelga's Great Dane has become a helpful and beloved companion.Courtesy of Sanofi

Helga—Johannesburg, South Africa (diagnosed with relapsing multiple sclerosis in 2010)

When Helga first started having balance issues and numbness in her feet, she chalked it up to her training as a runner. But when the numbness moved to her face, she knew something was wrong. She never guessed it was MS.

“When I was diagnosed, I felt completely overwhelmed and clueless,” Helga says. “I felt that I had nowhere near enough information. I did not know anything about the disease…I had no idea that it was going to be a process of continually monitoring and adjusting your lifestyle.”

In the beginning, Helga’s symptoms developed slowly, and she didn’t appear ill to others. She was even able to run for a few years after her diagnosis, but she couldn’t do marathons anymore, and she began to fall frequently due to balance issues and right-foot dragging. Then her cognition issues became more problematic, especially in her job as a trainer in a printing company.

“My executive function, decision-making and short-term memory were affected to the point that I was eventually medically unfit for work,” she says. She stopped working in 2017.

However, she didn’t stop living life. Even though she could no longer run, she continued to swim competitively. She got a Great Dane puppy and trained him as a service dog to help her walk. She also serves as vice chair of the patient support organization Multiple Sclerosis South Africa, and she advises others who have been diagnosed to join a patient advocacy group as soon as possible to get reliable information and meet others with MS.

Helga says she is “hopeful” about the future of MS. “I must say that I am so grateful that we have all the new medications available, because my life would not be the same if it wasn't for that,” she adds.

Part of how she manages her MS is by looking at the positives.

“If I could tell the world one thing about MS, it would be that MS is an incurable disease of the nervous system, but it's also the greatest teacher of valuing your health, family, friends, and managing change in your life,” she says. “My life is diversified in a way that I never, ever thought it would, and MS has been honestly the greatest teacher.”

Each MS journey is unique – with each person impacted experiencing different struggles, successes, and feelings as they manage this unpredictable disease. But the common thread is clear – there is a critical need for information, support, and hope. We are proud to participate in World MS Day and share these incredible stories of living life while living with MS. To learn more about MS, go to https://www.sanofi.com/why-words-really-matter-when-it-comes-to-multiple-sclerosis.

MAT-GLB-2301642-v1.0-05/2023

This article was sponsored by Sanofi. Participants were compensated when applicable.

@geaux75/TikTok

Molly was found tied to a tree by the new owners of the house.

Molly, an adorable, affectionate 10-year-old pit bull, found herself tied to a tree after her owners had abandoned her.

According to The Dodo, Molly had “always been a loyal dog, but, unfortunately, her first family couldn’t reciprocate that same love back,” and so when the house was sold, neither Molly nor the family’s cat was chosen to move with them. While the cat was allowed to free roam outside, all Molly could do was sit and wait. Alone.

Luckily, the young couple that bought the house agreed to take the animals in as part of their closing agreement, and as soon as the papers were signed, they rushed over to check in.
Keep ReadingShow less

Thinking outside the box pays off.

Times seem grim for employees. Every day seems to bring a new series of layoffs, pay cuts, strikes and…you know, the whole threat of being replaced by robots thing

Chris Serrano, a creative director who “does all his own stunts,” found himself in one of these abysmal situations after getting laid off.

However, Serrano quickly turned his luck around by thinking outside the box and leaning into his daredevil personality. On his LinkedIn, he posted a video of himself jumping out of a plane with a cardboard sign that read, “Open4Work.”

Keep ReadingShow less

A woman is upset with her husband and wants to leave him.

There are a few big reasons why 70% of divorces in the United States among heterosexual couples are filed by women. Women have more economic opportunities than in decades past and are better positioned to care for themselves and their children without a husband’s income.

Another big reason is that even though the world has become much more egalitarian than in the past, women still bear the brunt of most of the emotional labor in the home. Gilza Fort-Martinez, a Florida, US-based licensed couples’ therapist, told the BBC that men are socialized to have lower emotional intelligence than women, leaving their wives to do most of the emotional labor.

Secondly, studies show that women still do most of the domestic work in the home, so many are pulling double duty for their households.

Keep ReadingShow less

Taylor Wolfe expresses the stress that moms with toddlers feel on vacation.

Taking young children on a family vacation seems like a good idea. You leave the house, soak up some new scenery, spend time with your significant other, and most importantly, make memories. Lots and lots of unforgettable memories.

But as the old saying goes, no matter where you go, there you are. Just because you left the house doesn’t mean your children magically learn how to be flexible or sleep in new conditions. They don’t suddenly learn how to wait for the appropriate time to soil their diapers or become curious about new types of food.

You’re still parenting, but this time it’s at a hotel.

Taylor Wolfe, a mom, blogger, occasional comedian and shop owner, hit the nail on the head with a viral video contrasting the split personalities that many parents have while on vacation.

Keep ReadingShow less

A Good Samaritan thwarts an attempted bank robbery.

A story out of Woodland, California, a town outside of Sacramento, shows that sometimes, a little empathy can turn a potentially violent situation into a peaceful outcome. According to the Woodland Police Department, it all unfolded at a Bank of the West on Monday, May 22, at 11:00 a.m.

Michael Armus Sr., 69, was waiting in line when he noticed a man slip a teller a note. The tellers looked concerned, and the man who slipped the note had his shirt pulled over the bottom of his face. The man claimed that he had a gun. It was a robbery.

Then Armus noticed something familiar about the man. It was his former neighbor, Eduardo Plasencia, 43, who was also his daughter’s friend.

“I seen that the way he was talking, he was getting irritated. He said, ‘I don’t want to hurt anybody,’” Armus said, according to NBC 15.

Keep ReadingShow less
@amguptuppy/TikTok

Mr. Raccoon apparently has a hankering for vanilla glaze.

As Samantha Jane Guptil pulled into her local Dunkin’ Donuts drive-thru, she was delightfully shocked to see that she wasn’t the only one having a sweet craving that day.

In a short clip posted to her TikTok, Guptil narrates as a friendly raccoon waltzes up and cuts in front of her in the drive-thru line to order his very own doughnut.

Yes, you read that right.

Keep ReadingShow less