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It's Just A Couple Of Curves In The Middle, Yet We All Can't Help Ourselves

Sara Benincasa wrote a little something about what we focused a lot on in 2014.

It's Just A Couple Of Curves In The Middle, Yet We All Can't Help Ourselves

The Year in Butts

By Sara Benincasa

2014 was a really big year for butts. This is a story about those butts.


Wow, was 2014 a crazy year for butts. Seems like every girl and her mother had a butt! There was that one girl with the butt that people said was fake, and in that one picture it kind of looked like a fake butt! But she said her butt wasn't fake, and she seems like a pretty trustworthy person, in that she is the type of individual to be honest about butts, so I'm pretty sure her butt is real. Although that doesn't answer the question of why her butt looks like two butts welded together in that one photo, but maybe it's just a mystery for the ages.

Then there was that other girl who tried to "twerk" and haha it was so funny that she did that in her music video because really, her "butt" is not very "big" at "all"! Can you believe it? I can't, believe it, I mean, that she would do that. Maybe she was joking but maybe also she was serious, who can say? Butts are a question and an answer all at once, sometimes.

Then there was the girl who put the thing on her butt and then they took a picture, and it was like, this is so crazy, her butt is so big and shiny, can it be real?!?!?!?!?!?! And some people said, "You are a mother, how can you do this?" because if you have had a baby you are not supposed to have a butt anymore, maybe, or maybe now the butt is just for pooping, which is what butts are intended for, I guess, if you are boring.

Anyway, at the end of the day, girls had butts in 2014 and it was so crazy! You cannot believe some of these butts that the girls had! Will they have butts in 2015? Probably! And these butts will be even bigger. These butts will rule the world, like girls do.

Maybe there will be One Butt To Rule Them All and it will be so big and so huge and we will crawl inside it and build a city, a City Upon (In) A Hill (Butt), and there will we live happily forevermore, enjoying prosperity and freedom and the riches foretold by our ancestors who watch over us today and lift us up into the shining light that is America, and we'll laugh with delight and we'll dance, finally, freely, as we were meant to dance, all of us, together, at last, the way it was meant to be, the way we were meant to be.

No men were known to have butts in 2014.

The difference between a politician and a public servant may be a matter of semantics, but when it comes to getting legislation passed that actually helps people, the contrast is stark.

Texas Representative James Talarico is on a mission to get his constituents the life-saving medicine they need. The 31-year-old lawmaker has just introduced legislation that would cap the price of insulin—a medicine people with type 1 diabetes need to live, which has become unaffordable for many—at $50 a month.

The mission is personal for Talarico, as he nearly died three years ago when he was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

He shared his story on Twitter:

"In May 2018, I was a healthy 28-year-old running for the Texas House. I decided to walk the entire length of my district and hold town halls along the way. I hike Big Bend every year, so I wasn't concerned about a 25 mile walk...

But halfway through the walk, I began feeling nauseous and fatigued. Before the town hall in Hutto, I vomited in the bathroom."

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Images courtesy of John Scully, Walden University, Ingrid Scully
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Since March of 2020, over 29 million Americans have been diagnosed with COVID-19, according to the CDC. Over 540,000 have died in the United States as this unprecedented pandemic has swept the globe. And yet, by the end of 2020, it looked like science was winning: vaccines had been developed.

In celebration of the power of science we spoke to three people: an individual, a medical provider, and a vaccine scientist about how vaccines have impacted them throughout their lives. Here are their answers:

John Scully, 79, resident of Florida

Photo courtesy of John Scully

When John Scully was born, America was in the midst of an epidemic: tens of thousands of children in the United States were falling ill with paralytic poliomyelitis — otherwise known as polio, a disease that attacks the central nervous system and often leaves its victims partially or fully paralyzed.

"As kids, we were all afraid of getting polio," he says, "because if you got polio, you could end up in the dreaded iron lung and we were all terrified of those." Iron lungs were respirators that enclosed most of a person's body; people with severe cases often would end up in these respirators as they fought for their lives.

John remembers going to see matinee showings of cowboy movies on Saturdays and, before the movie, shorts would run. "Usually they showed the news," he says, "but I just remember seeing this one clip warning us about polio and it just showed all these kids in iron lungs." If kids survived the iron lung, they'd often come back to school on crutches, in leg braces, or in wheelchairs.

"We all tried to be really careful in the summer — or, as we called it back then, 'polio season,''" John says. This was because every year around Memorial Day, major outbreaks would begin to emerge and they'd spike sometime around August. People weren't really sure how the disease spread at the time, but many believed it traveled through the water. There was no cure — and every child was susceptible to getting sick with it.

"We couldn't swim in hot weather," he remembers, "and the municipal outdoor pool would close down in August."

Then, in 1954 clinical trials began for Dr. Jonas Salk's vaccine against polio and within a year, his vaccine was announced safe. "I got that vaccine at school," John says. Within two years, U.S. polio cases had dropped 85-95 percent — even before a second vaccine was developed by Dr. Albert Sabin in the 1960s. "I remember how much better things got after the vaccines came out. They changed everything," John says.

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